Absolute Chaos Discussion Boards

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Remember, site banner rules apply here too!

Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5

Author Topic: Cringe Worthy  (Read 11913 times)

AJsKellyMouse

  • Minion of Mayhem
  • *****
  • Posts: 594
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #45 on: June 01, 2008, 03:43:23 AM »

I'm already re-writing all of my stuff.  I love that pic though!  It's awesome!!
Logged
~Kelly~

brandy_d

  • Fledgling
  • *
  • Posts: 47
  • I am just a goofy southern gilr who loves BSB!
    • Myspace
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #46 on: June 09, 2008, 09:52:59 PM »

I am no where near as good of a writer as the majority of the girls on here, so I find most of my work cringe worthy. I realize it the most though, right after I have read some really great work, like honey's stuff and shakabelle's stuff.

I do it because I enjoy it. I do see myself getting better, so I guess that is a good thing. I also am trying to broaden my horizons a little and write outside the box.

I am also thinking about re-writing my very first fan-fic. It is sooooo cliche and totally Mary-Sue, but hey I was 16. I don't want to change the story line of anything, just the quality of writing in it.
Logged
Brandy Desiree....<br />Wife of Brian<br />Mother of Brody<br />Fan of Backstreet.

honey

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 5321
    • Being Jamie Baker Website
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #47 on: June 09, 2008, 10:35:18 PM »

aww. That is so sweet of you to say, Brandy, thank you! Though I hate that I leave you with that feeling. I know what you mean though, I do the same thing myself with others.

I do it because I enjoy it. I do see myself getting better, so I guess that is a good thing. I also am trying to broaden my horizons a little and write outside the box.

as long as you keep with this mentality, though, you'll be surprised at how far you can go! Seriously, we all started somewhere and believe me. My crap is awful awful awful crap.
Logged
If Ryan looked at me the wrong way, I lost it. If Ryan looked at me the right way, I lost it. And whenever he tried to kiss me, something usually blew up. Someone ought to teach him a little control.

Sakabelle

  • General Pandemonium
  • *****
  • Posts: 2608
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #48 on: June 09, 2008, 11:19:10 PM »

Aww thank you Brandy!  :-*  Remember, you are your own worst critic!  It's good to try to write outside your box, that's what I'm currently doing and it's really difficult.

Rewriting your first fic can be a lot of fun!  I really enjoyed doing the cringe worthy challenge and rewriting I Want It That Way, almost enough to make me want to redo the whole thing.  Almost.
Logged
~Saka ♥

"Write a lot. Write something you’re scared to write. That’s the best advice I can give: If you have an idea, and you can’t stop thinking about it, but something about it scares you half to death—WRITE THAT."
- Rainbow Rowell

honey

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 5321
    • Being Jamie Baker Website
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #49 on: June 09, 2008, 11:49:05 PM »

Aww thank you Brandy!  :-*  Remember, you are your own worst critic!  It's good to try to write outside your box, that's what I'm currently doing and it's really difficult.


yeah, but I think that's how you grow a lot as a writer. (writing outside of the box) I mean the difference in writing quality between WTMH and NYACS is crazy to me. And I think it was because I'd never tried to write anything like that before so I forced myself to try harder... And LOL Fan Friction is kicking my butt, and giving me a whole new insight to the writing thing...
Logged
If Ryan looked at me the wrong way, I lost it. If Ryan looked at me the right way, I lost it. And whenever he tried to kiss me, something usually blew up. Someone ought to teach him a little control.

Sakabelle

  • General Pandemonium
  • *****
  • Posts: 2608
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #50 on: June 09, 2008, 11:55:33 PM »

I agree with you Kelly, it's good to challenge yourself!  It's a difficult thing to do, but I think once it's finished I'll be proud of it :)
Logged
~Saka ♥

"Write a lot. Write something you’re scared to write. That’s the best advice I can give: If you have an idea, and you can’t stop thinking about it, but something about it scares you half to death—WRITE THAT."
- Rainbow Rowell

honey

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 5321
    • Being Jamie Baker Website
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #51 on: June 10, 2008, 12:01:55 AM »

I agree with you Kelly, it's good to challenge yourself!  It's a difficult thing to do, but I think once it's finished I'll be proud of it :)

and that's really what matters.
Logged
If Ryan looked at me the wrong way, I lost it. If Ryan looked at me the right way, I lost it. And whenever he tried to kiss me, something usually blew up. Someone ought to teach him a little control.

Rose

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 8275
  • Uh oh! We lost Nick again...
    • Double Rainbow Fiction
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #52 on: June 10, 2008, 12:06:09 AM »

So an old collab friend forwarded one of my old ancient emails from when she hosted my teenified stories back in the day lol. We were just talking about cringe worthy stuff and so she searched her email and sent it lol. It had one of my old chapters that were lost between a new computer and time lol.

I'll post one of the so called "chapters" lmfao. Now, this is the reason why I stopped doing first person till I wrote JAD. Because I saw shortly after how terrible it was.

This is insanely embarrassing.. .just remember I was like 13/14. The story was called "The Twins" and the girl's name was Nickole Gena Carter... how horrible is that? lmao.


Chapter 3

Nick’s POV

 

            I hate to say it but Geni’s a little naïve. I knew that she knew about my powers the whole time and I know about hers too. Mine differ from hers though. The only power we have in common is the mind control. Like her though it’s very weak and drains me, I only use it in an emergency.  I discovered mine at about nine years old. Mom had taken Geni and the rest of the girls shopping and my dad stayed home and watched me and the other set of twins, Aaron and Angel. While they were napping and dad was in his study probably napping, I can’t really remember, anyways, I was pretending I was superman like the cartoon on T.V. (Now remember I was only 9.) I decided to pretend to lift up the sofa to show my superhuman strength. Well, turned out that I actually did have it, cause I ended up actually lifting up the sofa.

 

            Except for the superhuman strength, all mine that work with my personality deal with concentration of the mind just like Geni’s deal with focusing and concentrating her eyes on something, only mine’s with the mind. I can mind read instead of see auras. Only difference and advantage Geni has is you can lie in your mind if you know I’m reading it. (There are ways to tell) you can’t lie with your aura. When I get mad and I didn’t know how to control it then, I started earthquakes, I don’t what the term is though for starting earthquakes with your mind. Last but not least I can teleport myself and anyone else I concentrate on to anywhere I want to go at anytime. I just concentrate on what that person looks like if they’re not with me. But let me tell you some things Geni didn’t probably mention.

           

My parents adopted us when we were about three years old. The thing about this injection is that we have a super clear and accurate memory. I can remember the injection when we had at only a year old, I also remember them saying something about keeping track of us as we get older and if the results are positive getting us back to see how positive. I’m sure that if I remember it she does too cause she has the same memory I do. Only reason I know is that when we were younger she asked me if I remembered being adopted and if that mom and dad weren’t our real mom and dad.

 

We are the closest thing to being identical twins without being the same sex. She has her hair cut at the chin, curled in, and slightly layered. My hair is shaggy and long and went down to a little past my ears. Both of us had our hair lightened to a light blond (It was naturally dark blond but still blond.) with the same baby blue eyes, and we were both really tall at about 5’11”. Which was surprising for Geni since she was a girl. It was as if we were made from almost the exact same mold. We both had the same trademark Carter move, running our hands bands back through our blond hair. 

 

Now I know when the story all started, it was when she first announced she was going to be our opening act…

 

Mom had just walked into the kitchen while one teenage girl and five Backstreet Boys were just going nuts by doing victory dances then hugging Geni then another victory dance. All the while Geni and I are acting like complete idiots by jumping up and down squealing about the tour and how she was going to become famous, and how we might be able to do duets together.

 

“Whoa, boys, Nick, Nikki, what’s going on?”

   

All six of us started talking at once.

 

“Mom, you’ll never believe what happened to Geni…”

 

“Mom the most incredible…”

 

“Mrs. Carter you won’t believe what happened to kaotic over here…” (Kaotic is what Brian called Geni. Kaos and kaotic otherwise known as the terrible twins. Terrible twins was stuck to us by Kevin.)

 

“Jane, Nickole just accomplished something big.” (Only Howie was allowed to call Geni by her full name.)

 

“Nikki, got a tight ass deal with Lou…”

 

“A.J. don’t cuss you’re only 18. That’s still young.”

 

“Whatever Kev.”

 

“Jane what she did was…”

 

“HOLD IT!!!!” Mom screamed. “One at a time. Nikki go.”

 

“Lou signed me and I’m gonna be the opening act for BSB on their next tour! Can I go mom can I? I know that I promised that I’d stay home next tour to go to school but this is a great opportunity for me!” (Geni had gone with us on our last tour and mom made her promise to stay home and go to school because she wasn’t doing too well with our tutor like I was.

 

“Well…”

 

“Pleassssseeeee Mom?” Geni and I giving our almost identical puppy-dog faces and using what A.J. calls the famous Carter whine.

 

“Sure.”


            Then it was official. Geni was coming with us. Now it officially starts.

 



See, we all started somewhere.
« Last Edit: June 10, 2008, 12:08:01 AM by Rose »
Logged
Double Rainbow Fiction - So Bright and So Vivid...


"Don't annoy the writer. They may put you in a book and kill you." —Anonymous

“I don’t believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously.” —Ray Bradbury

honey

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 5321
    • Being Jamie Baker Website
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #53 on: June 10, 2008, 12:08:44 AM »

LMAO Geni? Is that Jenny, by any chance?

And come on, Rose. We've all got 'em. You should be proud to have something so cheesetastic!
Logged
If Ryan looked at me the wrong way, I lost it. If Ryan looked at me the right way, I lost it. And whenever he tried to kiss me, something usually blew up. Someone ought to teach him a little control.

Rose

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 8275
  • Uh oh! We lost Nick again...
    • Double Rainbow Fiction
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #54 on: June 10, 2008, 12:12:58 AM »

LOL it's said like Genie, magical wish granting type.

LOL I'm not so proud as ready to burn any evidence of those. My friend is still laughing at how both of us thought it was amazing back in the day. Even in my supernatural stories I STILL did the cliche twin naming and opening for BSB stereotype lol.
Logged
Double Rainbow Fiction - So Bright and So Vivid...


"Don't annoy the writer. They may put you in a book and kill you." —Anonymous

“I don’t believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously.” —Ray Bradbury

honey

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 5321
    • Being Jamie Baker Website
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #55 on: June 10, 2008, 12:16:40 AM »

lol. nice. I only wrote one BSB story back in the day, but it's bad enough to make up of all of your horrible ones!
Logged
If Ryan looked at me the wrong way, I lost it. If Ryan looked at me the right way, I lost it. And whenever he tried to kiss me, something usually blew up. Someone ought to teach him a little control.

Rose

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 8275
  • Uh oh! We lost Nick again...
    • Double Rainbow Fiction
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #56 on: June 10, 2008, 12:20:30 AM »

Oh it can't be THAT bad lol.

But now do you get why I was hesitant to believe I could actually do 1st person decently?

LMAO I just got sent another horrible example.


Chapter 2

Nikki’s POV

 

Now, I was going to do everything possible not to get caught. In fact I was ecstatic when Nick became apart of BSB that way if he was ever caught people would know he was gone. It’d be in the news all over the world. Now when I was 16 I went around the world with them on their tour cause I kept begging my mom to go. Mark (their vocal coach) ended up becoming my vocal coach cause he said I had a golden voice just like Nick and it didn’t hurt that I wrote my own songs that he said match up to any pro in the biz.

 

Then Fatima, their dance coach, started teaching me some dance moves of my own cause she saw how much fun I was having doing the boys’ dance moves. After awhile when we weren’t on tour they called Lou and he signed me. I became the Backstreet Boys’ opening act at only 16.

 

            On the day I found out…

 

I came driving home in my little Pontiac grand am, parked the car and went racing into the house.

 

“MOM! MOM!!” I scream rushing into the kitchen only to find the BSB sitting there discussing how to become famous in the U.S. cause they were only famous in Europe.

 

“Whoa Nikki, where’s the fire!” Brian asks as he’s getting up to get a drink.

 

“I just got signed!”

 

They all rushed up and hugged me.

 

“Oh, my God that’s great Geni!” (My middle name was Gena soNick’s private nickname for me was Geni and for him mine was Snicker.)

 

“Wait there’s more, I’m gonna be your guys’ opening act!!!!!”

 

I didn’t know it then but that was when the trouble officially began.


Oh...wow I'm laughing so hard at myself
« Last Edit: June 10, 2008, 12:23:42 AM by Rose »
Logged
Double Rainbow Fiction - So Bright and So Vivid...


"Don't annoy the writer. They may put you in a book and kill you." —Anonymous

“I don’t believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously.” —Ray Bradbury

honey

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 5321
    • Being Jamie Baker Website
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #57 on: June 10, 2008, 12:22:06 AM »

Oh it can't be THAT bad lol.

ok, that's it... let me see if I can go find it...
Logged
If Ryan looked at me the wrong way, I lost it. If Ryan looked at me the right way, I lost it. And whenever he tried to kiss me, something usually blew up. Someone ought to teach him a little control.

julilly

  • Master of Havoc
  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *****
  • Posts: 8639
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #58 on: June 10, 2008, 05:44:19 AM »

Fan Friction is kicking my butt

Being inside my brain does that to people
Logged
~Maple Jellybean~

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? ... I don't know, and I don't care.

Steph

  • Minion of Mayhem
  • *****
  • Posts: 912
  • Trying to forget; the pain's still there.
    • Facebook
Re: Cringe Worthy
« Reply #59 on: June 11, 2008, 02:26:56 AM »

I am really tempted to dig through my room and try to find my very first fanfiction ever. It. Was. TERRIBLE. *shudders*
Logged

Dean & Sam Winchester.
Hunters. Protectors. Survivors. Family.
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5