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Help with a technical question in description and dialogue writing.

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MellzBellz:
Yea I agree... I squish a lot up together in one paragraph myself, but if I REALLY want to emphasize something I seperate it. Either way is acceptable though.

honey:
ok, I have another technical question... separating paragraphs in dialog...  My main character is vocally telling a story to another character so I have this rather large chunck of dialog. Do I separate the paragraphs within it? And if I do, how would I punctuate it? Where would the Quotes go and such? Anyone?

this is a rough draft of what I have so far...

“It was my accident,” I explained, my voice turning to a whisper. I hesitated, and then fell into the story as if I were reliving the nightmare all over again. “It was the night of the pageant and I was so tired of all the congratulation s so Derek and I went for a drive someplace quiet. The car was parked on the side of the road and this big tanker truck full of hazardous waste came barreling up the road. He hit his breaks when he saw us, but he was moving too fast. The truck jackknifed, and slid off the road. The side of the tank slammed into my car and pushed nearly fifty feet, right into an electrical tower. It was a nice night so we had the top down, and when everything smashed together the car ripped a hole in the side of the truck. This smelly, green liquid started spraying all over the place. It burned my skin but I was pretty banged up and I couldn’t really move. The last thing I remember was the electrical tower falling on top of the car and frying everything.”

Ryan’s gasp brought me back to the present, bur he really startled me when he picked up my hand and squeezed it. I let him hold it for only a second before pulling away to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my face, and then he asked the only logical question. “How did you survive?”


That's just one example, but there are (or will be) several other places where I have to have big chunks of dialog. So. Grammar Nazi's, suggestions?

Sakabelle:
^Ooooh, that's a good question, Kelly!  I did the same thing in one of my stories, and I always wondered if I went about it the right way.  *Waits patiently for the answer*

RokofAges75:
You don't HAVE to break it up, because it is her speaking the whole time, and she's staying on one topic, telling a story.  But if you don't like how big the paragraph is and would like to break it up, this is how you would punctuate it:


“It was my accident,” I explained, my voice turning to a whisper. I hesitated, and then fell into the story as if I were reliving the nightmare all over again. “It was the night of the pageant and I was so tired of all the congratulation s so Derek and I went for a drive someplace quiet. The car was parked on the side of the road and this big tanker truck full of hazardous waste came barreling up the road. He hit his breaks when he saw us, but he was moving too fast. The truck jackknifed, and slid off the road.

"The side of the tank slammed into my car and pushed nearly fifty feet, right into an electrical tower. It was a nice night so we had the top down, and when everything smashed together the car ripped a hole in the side of the truck. This smelly, green liquid started spraying all over the place. It burned my skin but I was pretty banged up and I couldn’t really move. The last thing I remember was the electrical tower falling on top of the car and frying everything.”


You DON'T need to put an end quote at the end of the first paragraph, but you do put a beginning quotation mark when you start the next paragraph, as long as it's still the same person talking.  Put an end quotation mark when she stops speaking, like normal.

honey:
aww, that was quick. Thank you, Julie! You always have the answers!  :D :-*

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