It's funny how even after so many years of writing, and so many stories written, and so many nice reviews and even nominations and awards... STILL you can feel completely self-conscious about your skills as a writer and your work itself. I don't think that feeling ever goes away. I bet even the more celebrated authors still feel that way to some extent.
I was just thinking about that because today I did some writing. Some honest to goodness real writing. This morning an idea just popped into my head and before I knew it I had a whole novel plotted out and the first chapter written. It felt really good, but more than that it was a major relief and that surprised me. I haven't written anything besides a challenge here and there or a half-hearted oneshot in nearly a year now. Granted it's been one of the most chaotic years of my life, but still. I was beginning to fear that I'd lost my touch forever.
And even now, it's been so long that I feel rusty and I keep thinking it's all crap. It's just interesting that I feel more self-conscious now than I used to. Writing... It's a vicious cycle. And yet... one I can't stay away from.
Anyhoo. Just pondering out loud... Any thoughts on the subject?