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[Kentuckychickrk]

So glad to see that Julie's story was featured this month! 

Julie -- Oh my goodness, where to start??
I actually just started reading this story last week after being absent from the forums for a little while.  I can't even begin to tell you how close to home it's hitting right now.

Your story is so emotionally raw and honest and I love what you have done with both Nick and Cary's characters in this story.  You have done an incredible job.  I always loved Broken, but hands down... this story show how you've matured as a writer and I'm loving it even more.  I don't find myself comparing like I thought at first I might.  You've done that great of a job.

I'm especially touched by the chapters where you let us into Nick's mind... his fears and his concerns and his thoughts.  I don't think anyone can really know how they would feel about a cancer diagnosis until it happens to them.  I know I never realized until my own diagnosis just last month how insanely scary and emotional it can be.  I mean, I knew it would suck for anyone... but I never really KNEW.  And trust me when I say... it's scary as hell, if not scarier.  Having a doctor call you on the phone (in my case) or into their office or however and tell you the words "It's cancer"... or in my own case "It's malignant melanoma".

I was lucky enough to have caught my own cancer very early,  have surgery and hopefully never have to deal with it again... but it still scared me to death.  I can easily see where many individuals would feel like Nick does in this story after diagnosis.

I hope you keep writing this one because I definitely want to keep reading!

[RokofAges75]

Omg Rachel, I had no idea...  That had to be the scariest moment of your life.  I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but glad to hear that it was caught early and treated and hopefully taken care of.  Still, I can't imagine how scary that must have been.

I don't know what that's like firsthand, so I just try my best to put myself in my character's shoes and imagine.  It's kind of a safe way to work through a worst-case scenario that someone could go through.  Honestly, getting a life-threatening illness - or worse, one of my loved ones getting it - is like my biggest fear, and I think that's a big part of why I read and write stories like this; it's a way of facing that fear.

A friend that I work with was diagnosed with stage IV cancer back in January, and it's been rough coping with that.  I wasn't sure how that was going to affect me and this story at first, but I'm glad I've been able to keep writing it.  Obviously I can separate reality and fanfiction, but it is hard when it hits close to home.

That said, it means a lot to me that you actually wanted to read this story after going through your own experience, and it means even more that you were touched by Nick's thoughts and found them realistic.  His head has been a hard one to get into this story; Cary is easy, but he has been tough, actually a lot tougher than I remember Broken being (but that could be the first person POV too).  It's been a good challenge for me, so it's really rewarding to get that kind of feedback, especially from someone who's been there, in a sense.  Not to mention, you're a great writer of tearjerkers too, so it's always awesome to get feedback from a fellow writer who knows the genre.

I will definitely keep writing this one and plan on finishing it over the summer.

Thanks so much, Rachel!!

[Kentuckychickrk]

Honestly, even knowing what it's like firsthand I don't think I could sit down and write a really accurate discription of exactly how I felt at the moment I was told -- or the hours following (I literally was told over the phone at 8 am and had had my surgery in office, which was a Wide Local Excision, by 1 that afternoon).  The scariest part for me was the time in between being told when all they said was "It's not good news... it's malignant melanoma and you need to come in for surgery this afternoon..." and finding out that I was lucky enough to catch it early (stage I).  All I could think of in those few hours in between though was the research I'd done since I'd had my biopsy -- damn that google! and damn Grey's Anatomy too!!! and how bad melanoma CAN be. 

But the honest to God fear I felt... I could never put that into words.

Considering everyone is different though, you've done an awesome job with how an individual might feel.  And considering I've written a story myself (the Nick and Grace series) involving a character with cancer, I know how hard it can be trying to work out how a character might feel in any situation like that. 


I'm just now getting to the part of the story where Nick and Cary get together and I can't stop reading!  I have truly found myself crying for the characters (which I don't do too often!) and that says a lot!
Can't wait to read more!

[RokofAges75]

Wow, that moved fast, but I guess that's a good thing, when all you're doing in between is waiting and worrying.  I would be the same way... I'm kind of a hypochondriac anyway, not a hardcore one, but I worry about stuff anyway, so to actually have something valid to Google and scare myself more with would be awful.  Again, I'm just glad they caught yours at stage 1 and got rid of it!

Thanks again for all your compliments; I really appreciate it!  And it's a huge compliment to me when someone says they've cried over one of my stories (even though that sounds terrible, but I'm sure you know how that is, with your stories LOL), so thank you for that too!

[luna610]

I've been so MIA! Just wanted to say how much I love this story. As usual, you  do such an amazing job with all the medical and technical stuff. I also love the way the story is written. The beginning was epic...I love how you introduced his illness...it gave me chills! And I'm glad that we get to see both of their POVs.

[RokofAges75]

Thanks, Sel!  I've been pretty hardcore with my research for this story; weird as it sounds, it's kind of a fun challenge for me.  I'm glad you liked the beginning... I never want to give away too much information, so I liked the idea of having the readers find out the same way Cary did, but then it was also nice to go back and tell Nick's side of the story leading up to that point.  Originally I wasn't sure if I was going to use both POVs or just write the whole thing in Cary's, but I'm glad I decided to write in Nick's, too, even though his is a lot harder to write in.  I think it adds to the story, to be able to show both sides.  Glad you're still enjoying it.  Thanks again!

[mare]

I can't believe it's the last day of the month already. Boo to your month being over but YAY to it being May!! lol

Anyway, now's the time to get your last comments in on this story.

[RokofAges75]

It went quick, but I'm super glad it's almost May too because that means June is next!!  Thanks again for featuring me this month, and thanks to everyone who posted comments/questions.  I enjoyed it!

[Carter-Orange]

I really couldn't think of any questions that hadn't already been asked!  But I do love this story SO much and always look forward to seeing updates.  You put so much detail into it, it seems so real, it's hard to imagine that it's a story!  

[RokofAges75]

Thanks, Steph!  I got the next chapter going last night and am hoping to finish it this weekend, so hopefully you'll have another update to read soon.