This topic is so interesting and complex. It's interesting to see your angle of looking at the boys as family. When you put it that way it makes so much sense.
I've only ever thrown myself into two fandoms in my life. Duran Duran and BSB. All the other groups I have enjoyed, I don't think I'd even be able to name everyone in the group. Seriously, I still don't think I can name all five of the nsync guys without help lol
I can say that I watched the last season of House of Cards and would have, even if Kevin Spacey was involved, because I loved that show and he was only part of it. I can also admit that I can never completely watch anything with Bill Cosby In it, without feeling a high level of disgust. Complex, see what I mean?
When it comes to the boys, my fandom has waned already, which you guys all know. Because it has, I can tell you the only way I would even know about this Melissa thing is through the two or three people who talked about it on my twitter feed. I barely follow any BSB fans really except for the few of you who post in here. You guys are the only reason I know about it. My point being, for whatever reason, this never became a big deal. So for me, it's never been a big deal. I have never been the type of person that will automatically side with a victim just because they are a victim. One of my best friends in high school was accused of raping his ex girlfriend in our senior year of high school. He was 18 and she was 16. They took him away in handcuffs and just like that, his life was ruined. He wasn't convicted, it never went to trial and charges were dismissed. Despite all of that, there was always speculation. He ended up moving out of state and starting over. Years later, that same girl admitted she made up the whole story because he didn't ask her to prom. So, yeah... That's how I think about things.
Everyone is entitled to think what they want. The problems start when you try to convince people your thinkng is the correct thinking. Just like politics, no one is going to ever win those arguments.