Fic Talk > General Discussion
The Writing Thread
nicksgal:
Found more accidental Labyrinth soundtrack. I love that movie so much. I should go watch it tomorrow, haha.
OMG, Spotify has the soundtrack. It's going to feel like 2007 all over again.
nicksgal:
So this felt appropriate because I know for sure that I was listening to "As The World Falls Down" the first time I wrote this chapter. Feels like 2007, aww. If you haven't seen Labyrinth, you should for sure go watch David Bowie acting with puppets and singing great songs, it's awesome. Anyway, the reason I think Nick's been so picky this whole time is that he's trying very hard to remind me that he's a hard core do-er. The way PBox was originally written was definitely very "omnipresent narrator in a dark and dreary world" if it wasn't something the characters were directly saying or doing. But it's really Nick's story and he gets things done regardless of consequences. So he gets frustrated with things like this from 2007, when it's supposed to be focused on him and he'd rather do something, even if he's just thinking about what he'd do.
An except if you'll allow (from 2007):
Why was the night sky so apparent within her eyes? They seemed to sparkle like small jeweled stars, crying out in his pain. A sad love… A pale jewel… They had been running together, through the darkness all this time. And up until then, they had been running through the darkness alone. They had spent their whole lives looking for something, for someone to hold closely. And in that instant, they had found their safety, they had found each other. And yet, in that one instant, the world shattered around them. They had lost their most precious thing in the world, across all worlds. They seemed to live in a glass ball, only for the amusement of God. And, when he felt their glass ball lives were unfit, he dropped their world, shattering it into a thousand pieces. Where does life continue from that moment? How does one combat the shattering of the world? Is it combatable? Or is it something that is merely accepted with existence?
An excerpt from the edits (now):
Your eyes are sparkling like small jeweled stars in the night sky. I want to run through them until we’re far away from here, until we’re somewhere warm and bright. If there’s anything I can do to keep the world from falling down, I’ll do it for you. I’ll switch off the sun, the stars, and the moon if that takes the sad and pained look out of them. Until you got here, we were both running through the darkness alone. This whole time, we’ve both been looking for the one thing that makes existing warm and bright. Then you came here and we both found that safety we’d been looking for. We found that light of being accepted by someone else in each other. But the longer we stay here, our world is shattering. We almost lost each other! It’s like we live encased in glass so God can watch us for amusement. And if we’re no longer amusing, he’ll drop our world and shatter it into a million pieces. Where would we go? How could we fight that? I promise, I’ll find a way to fight any malicious God for you. I won’t let your world shatter.
And it all still feels very "As The World Falls Down" while getting to add a purposeful "Who Needs The World." Pretty delighted.
RokofAges75:
Aww, I haven't seen The Labyrinth since I was a kid! (Also, I can never seem to spell Labyrinth correctly on the first try LOL.)
So are you re-writing the story from third person into first person POV, or was the second version just Nick's inner thought? It was interesting to see how it changed from one version to the next. I smiled at the phrase "the sun, the stars, and the moon" - was that one intentional or accidental Backstreeting? ;D
nicksgal:
--- Quote from: RokofAges75 on January 18, 2021, 10:24:18 AM ---Aww, I haven't seen The Labyrinth since I was a kid! (Also, I can never seem to spell Labyrinth correctly on the first try LOL.)
--- End quote ---
I never can either, which is abysmal. I think it's because the /y/ isn't really pronounced, but you know it's in there somewhere, but where is a mystery. I think it holds up, but it's also probably still my second favorite movie of all time (after Titanic, obviously).
--- Quote from: RokofAges75 on January 18, 2021, 10:24:18 AM ---So are you re-writing the story from third person into first person POV, or was the second version just Nick's inner thought? It was interesting to see how it changed from one version to the next.
--- End quote ---
It's still third person POV, but a little more character centered. So yes, just Nick's thoughts. I feel like it would be a very difficult challenge to completely change it to first person and probably not my preference anyway. I think my limit on writing a first person POV is about 10,000 words.
I think what's been the most challenging is keeping the overall tone because it's easy to be like "everything here is pretty bleak" when you're the omnipresent narrator. But Nick's fairly... "sugar and fire" is probably the best way to describe him after he defrosts, so he's more like, "Yeah, everything is pretty bleak here, but we're still alive and we're gonna deal with it with a lotta gumption and zeal! Roar!!! Oh look, I'm bleeding again... Onward!!" So it feels a lot less bleak when he's around doing his Nick thing loudly, even when he has his heroic BSOD moments, haha.
--- Quote from: RokofAges75 on January 18, 2021, 10:24:18 AM ---I smiled at the phrase "the sun, the stars, and the moon" - was that one intentional or accidental Backstreeting? ;D
--- End quote ---
I'd actually completely forgotten while writing it that it's in AFY in that order, which is surprising because the amount of times Nick says "Anything for you" in the story very intentionally is fairly high.
It was an intentional Cartering, I guess? Is that the verb for this? The phrase "switch off the sun, the stars, and the moon" was just me switching verb tense from "Who Needs The World" to match the narrative. So does that mean that Nick intentionally or accidentally Backstreeted in that song? New things to ponder...
nicksgal:
--- Quote from: nicksgal on January 15, 2021, 10:25:17 PM ---Describe what you've got going on writing-wise in five words or less, but cryptically.
--- End quote ---
I couldn't decide! One's kind of a spoiler and the other one's not... as much... :shrug:
"Now with more heart eating!" or "Sorry you [spoiler]died first, AJ.[/spoiler]"
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