Absolute Chaos Discussion Boards
Fic Talk => I Challenge You.... => Topic started by: honey on April 19, 2008, 02:01:52 PM
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Ok, this one isn't actually a writing challenge. Well, it is, it does involve some writing, but it's writing about someone else's story. We all know that like a hundred more people actually read stories than actually review them, and we're probably ALL guilty of this. My challenge isn't necessarily to go and read a new story so that you can leave reviews. (though I would encourage that too!) My challenge is to simply leave a review on a story that maybe you just been quietly reading.
There has ben a lull in fanfic these days and I think a lot of us feel that there just isn't as much hype as there used to be. I think that getting excited about writing again could easily start with just knowing that people are still reading stories.
SO for this challenge, go to a story that you've been reading. (Maybe you haven't reviewed it at all and the author doesn't even know you're reading it, or maybe you're a faithful reviewer every chapter, doesn't matter) Just leave them a review and then copy and paste that review here, letting us know which author and story it's for.
I figure if we post them here we can see what others are reading and it might spark some conversation. Plus, there are a lot of people who always say they can't ever think of something to say so they don't review. Well if we have some examples then we can see what kind of reviews will be helpful to the author!
I hope we all try this one because I think we all need to review more and I really do think reviews could help raise the spirits around here! Good luck everyone!
I'll start, but first I have to go read a new chapter. hehehe and there is one in particular I have been slacking on. pbox here I come!
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OH, and I don't want to hear any BS about not having time!! If you have enough time to browse these boards and read this challenge, then I know you have time to review a story and post it here!!!! *yes I'm using my angry mommy voice right now*
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I think this is a great idea for a challenge. I am not reading anything at the moment but I could always find an old story I did read and post a review from it.
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Great idea Kelly!!
I try to leave reviews for everything I read, just cause I know I hate it when my read count goes up, but my reviews don't! I'll post a couple here..
This is for Causal by cabybakes
Wow, this is definitely really well done so far! You can really tell the growth in your writing from "Miles Away" to this story. Quinn seems to be a very interesting character from what I can tell. Hopefully you'll update soon =)
and for my most favourite fanfiction ever. All of you should go read it, I love it to bits.
Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon by DaniGiggles
Oh God. Oh Godddddddddd. Dani, you do realize you basically wrote out "drama weekend" in this chapter lol. (Derek, Steph, Frank fiasco..) Wow, this reminds me so much of how Derek and I got together it's not even funny. You can just feel Brian's desperation coming off the page.. (err screen?) just..wow. I'm shocked. My breath actually caught in my throat when Leighanne showed up. Gah, that would be terrifying. But I mean... how painful for her. for everyone involved. Brian and Leslie can't be together because of the complications involved.. Nick is obviously heartbroken, Leighanne is going psycho. Brian and Leslie must just feel awful, because the one thing that is supposed to be pure and honest in their lives (their love for each other) has only brought them and the other people they love pain. You did an excellent job Dani. I freakin' love this story. I think I said this before, but Unsuspecting is my favourite song off Unbreakable, and possibly my favourite BSB song all around and you've done an AMAZING job at capturing it. You're a fantastic writer. *Applauds* Wonderful, wonderful job my friend.
So yeah. Those are two recent reviews I've left :)
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awesome saka! and might I just add really fast, (not hijacking thread at all ;) ;)) that I love that song too and learned how to play it on the guitar and I love it!! ok, done with my fangirly moment...
as for the reviews, I think those are great examples of awesome reviews! The first one was so encouraging and when you pointed out the growth in her story, I bet it totally made her day. That review was very sweet simple and short, but it was perfect.
the second one is actually my favorite kind of review to get for two reasons. First of all, you compared one of the characters to someone you know in real life and that is a really big complement to the author. It means that you're connecting and relating to the characters on a personal level. That's awesome! And the second reason I love reviews like that one is because I can see how much you are caught up in the story! You're not really critiquing anything as more you're just reacting to what you read. You're love of the story shows like crazy and it's so fun to see people experience what you thought! Well done Saka! Way to motivate your favorite authors!
Here's one of mine. I just went ad read the next chapter I'm on of Pandora's Box, by nick's gal.
I KNEW that dude was the devil! You write the cloaked man very well I think. The way he is always so cool under pressure and seems to have this condescending attitude while pretending it's all because he cares for his castle and his demons and especially the way he treats Nick. Like its supposed to be fatherly, but really is this sick twisted control thing. I think that's how the devil really works. Well done there. I also really liked that part about how god was holding them in a glass ball and when he was done he just dropped it and let it shatter. That was a great visual analogy. I think that's one of the things I like the best about your writing style. You are very visual. Every time I pick up this story again I'm always afraid I've forgotten everything, but is sucks me right back in and I'm in that castle in the darkness and I'm holding Nick's heart in my hands along with Minako. YAY for this story being finished finally! Now I get to go read the rest without having to wait!!! And WOOHOO for finally getting to see what happens between Renee and Minako! I'm really curious about how you're going to do that. I could see it going lots of ways. and LMAO at Nick's scene in thsi chapter. I mean, not that it's funny that he's just given up his own heart to save her, but the whole time I was reading it I could just see you sitting at our computer trying to type his last words and his last breath, and then I pictured him sitting up like he was on stage and breaking character and being like "What the Eff Dee! I told you I wasn't going to die! Nice try though!" hahahahahaha seriously, I have issues. ok, I'll stop rambling now, but it's been so long since I've read this one that I was really excited for it. Now I need to go read the end. I was actually further back than we thought. I had six chapters, not 4. So, five more to go Yay!
ok, I know that one is a little long, but I tend to get excited sometimes. Plus I talk too much for my own good. (but I've never been told to shut my yap in a response to a review. :D) Reviews don't always have to be long, but the more you can tell someone your thoughts on their story, the more it motivates!
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So I reviewed Protection, by alota_cookin and I made a vow to myself when I reviewed I'd be more honest if I saw problems in what is a good idea. So I gave constructive criticism which...I'm hoping is taken well :)
So, I saw this and figured well this was an interesting premise, so I clicked. And the idea is good, it's the follow through throughout the story I found shaky. See the problem is, the media by saying Nick is in the WPP is a violation. It would get him found, and it is against the rules. Also, Nick would be unable to have so many identities. WPP is typically a one shot deal, maybe two if one is lucky/important enough. This had potential but I do recommend next time possibly researching before writing, so that way it comes off more realistically you know? Plus a major plot hole would be with Nick only dying his hair and using contacts, his face is too recognizable. The story needs the extra step of either a body suit or even plastic surgery itself. Also it's not good to change writing styles in the story like you did with the MTV scene. Which, also was interesting (had it gone with the idea of him being missing rather than in the WPP) but you portrayed them amazingly out of character and the media would censor what they had said. The idea is good, and original for BSB fanfic. I just wish the follow through had been more precise, it is a good attempt though, so keep writing. And I hope my tips could possibly help in the future.
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So I reviewed Protection, by alota_cookin and I made a vow to myself when I reviewed I'd be more honest if I saw problems in what is a good idea. So I gave constructive criticism which...I'm hoping is taken well :)
no worries. :D It's actually, about time someone told me everything that's wrong with it. lol. Julilly gave me a bit of input once but it was mainly on one point. So, I ain't mad at ya! ;)
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no worries. :D It's actually, about time someone told me everything that's wrong with it. lol. Julilly gave me a bit of input once but it was mainly on one point. So, I ain't mad at ya! ;)
As frustrating as it is when someone says "well there's this..." and critiques your work it really is meant to be encouraging. If you just think "oh well, I'm not that good I guess" (I saw your reply to Rose :)) and move on then you can't get better, you've talked yourself down already. Concrit is meant for you to embrace the potential that is in your work because really you've got a really solid idea it just needs some tweaking. I think that you could become everything you want to be as a writer because you do have a good imagination and you have things like an understanding of the English language (which many people who speak English do not...) it just may take some practice.
I rarely give out concrit in the form of reviews unless I think someone really has something and know they are able to do better, so feel special that I'm being nice today... cuz tomorrow... look out lol
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^ Good points, Julilly.
I'm always wary of giving constructive criticism because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. However, if I read a story that really has a lot of potential to be a great story, but there's something about it that keeps it from being "great" to me (grammar issues, lack of believability, etc.), then sometimes I will say something constructive.. . because as a reader, there's something about the story that draws me in, but there's also something keeping me from enjoying it as much as I would if that thing was fixed. If the story is just all-around bad, I don't even bother reviewing. I try to follow the Thumper rule... "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all." So if I take the time to leave constructive criticism, it means I have SOMETHING nice to say about the story. So I think I'm on the same page as Julilly and Rose here.
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Personally I would take any constructive criticism as a compliment. It means that someone took the time to read my story and they feel as though I have the potential to improve on some parts that are not so great. One of my friends read "In Pieces" while he was at work a few days ago and when I asked him how it was he gave me pointers on how to make it better (more character descriptions.. that sort of thing) So yeah, I was happy he told me so I can possibly go fix it. One day lol.
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As frustrating as it is when someone says "well there's this..." and critiques your work it really is meant to be encouraging. If you just think "oh well, I'm not that good I guess" (I saw your reply to Rose :)) and move on then you can't get better, you've talked yourself down already. Concrit is meant for you to embrace the potential that is in your work because really you've got a really solid idea it just needs some tweaking. I think that you could become everything you want to be as a writer because you do have a good imagination and you have things like an understanding of the English language (which many people who speak English do not...) it just may take some practice.
I rarely give out concrit in the form of reviews unless I think someone really has something and know they are able to do better, so feel special that I'm being nice today... cuz tomorrow... look out lol
That's what I mean...I can't very well fix anything if someone doesn't tell me what's wrong with it. :D Thus, the reason I ain't mad! I didn't mean it like "oh well, I suck" because I know that there are things I need to work on but no one seems to really tell me what they are. That's why I was like "I'm not surprised". I wasn't expecting there to be so many holes though...I thought it was tighter than that. *shruggs*
The reviews I got from you two are really the only two that had any notes on what was wrong with the story. Since I read this...I have come up with a few ideas of how I might be able to work those holes into part of the story like it was SUPPOSED to be like that. you know what I mean? Like maybe one of the guys was paying the WPP to keep moving Nick around or someone leaked the info to MTV or something. So then it makes it sound like the holes were put there on purpose. Does that make sense? Would that even work? Hmmmm. :-\
So anyways, I'm sorry if it sounded weird. I was, honestly, happy that someone finally told me what was wrong and what needed to be fixed. Sometimes I word things wrong but I really wasn't upset. :D
So thanks, you guys....*gives you brownie* :)
P.S. - remember...you only half scare me Julia. ;)
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Something that I find also inspires me is when someone is reading my story for the first time and comments on most every chapter with a unique, non generic comment. alota_cookin did this for me with In Pieces and it motived me so much for writing the sequel. :-* Thanks hun!
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Something that I find also inspires me is when someone is reading my story for the first time and comments on most every chapter with a unique, non generic comment. alota_cookin did this for me with In Pieces and it motived me so much for writing the sequel. :-* Thanks hun!
I have been making sure to leave reviews when I read because I know it is encouraging. I try to leave personal, detailed reviews for the most part (occasionally I leave a generic one).
Personally, although ANY review is nice, I find the non generic ones seem to be more uplifting.
I am glad you were motivated by it. ;) and, you are very welcome.
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I'm glad to hear you say that you appreciate the concrit more than the "good chapter, update more!" stuff because I find it frustrating when all someone can say is good chapter... I want to know why they thought it was good, or maybe why they didn't like it. I think it's important to get substance in your feedback, but there's a lot of people who only want the praise.
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Yay, I'm glad to hear you're not upset. I think sometimes every author at one point needs it. And I don't do concrit very often, but your idea has really good potential. I know I rattled off a lot of stuff, but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't like the premise to begin with. :) Or if I didn't feel like you couldn't improve :D
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Okay...I just read the newly posted chapter of My Happy Ending by Sakabelle. Here is what I gave her for this chap:
aaaw. planning a wedding sucks! I am in the middle of trying to get mine together (its in July) and I am so stressed out...it's not even funny! I totally blew up at him this weekend, it was crazy. lol. that, in itself, will probably add a few more dramatic moments to thier life! I'll be interested to see what happens between them during all this. Oh wait...what I meant to say was..."Good chapter, update soon" LMAO *wink*
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If I remember, the next review I leave for a story I'll post here - provided it's not for No Matter What - lol. Yes, I R&R that fic - I don't always know what's going on - & I like it that way - lol.
~Lenni~
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Here is my review for Julilly's latest chapter of Hawk and a Handsaw which you should all go check out if you haven't already. It's a very creative anf original idea :)
Wow once again big kudos to you for updating. I have to say i'm a little on the confuzzled side with this chapter. It felt a little rushed and like Julie said, i'm not sure whether she is dead or alive or in some kind of pergatory state. Getting hit over the head with a bottle kind of did it for me. Can a ghost get hit over the head with a bottle? Unless the guy that did it was also a ghost, then that would suck. I'd hate to know that when I died someone could actually hurt me! That would suck monkey butts! I loved the backstory on Val's suicide. You has a great imagination miss Julilly which is why I's loves you soo much! And now I realize since i've left you a mini book this probably won't take. Was she hit with a bottle? No lol it was the butt of a gun wasn't it? I have the rentention of a goldfish. What? Did someone say something? Where am I?
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lmfao mare
lovely review ;D maybe i should post mine to hers as well, since her story is really the only fanfic I've been keeping up with anymore. *goes off to find review*
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found it! it's not the best review ever, since the best ones I leave are apparently always for Kelly for whatever reason lol But, um, here goes nothing:
*teeny squeee*
Hmm, so things are starting to make a little more sense now. I doubt you'll make Brian kill himself, too, but, with you, I've come to expect the unexpected lol Anyway, I'm starting to see how the IAB investigation and Nick's death might be linked, but I'm going to keep mum on it until you write more (however long we have to wait on that lol). I'm glad you updated as it was yet another awesome chapter! Yay, Julilly!
Ooh, also. There should be a sentence break where there isn't one: From what he’d seen there were even people who recognized her and spoke to her as if they were friends and coworkers the possibility that it was all a ruse just seemed unlikely to him.
I think there's supposed to be a period between "the possibility" and "coworkers"...right? right?
I couldn't help but turn into the grammar police lol
And, Julilly, I might just tell you my theory, but it might be too amazing for you to handle....AMAZ INGLY WRONG bwahahah lol :P
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It wouldn't be wrong... bunch of assumers you all are lol
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Here is my review for Julilly's latest chapter of Hawk and a Handsaw which you should all go check out if you haven't already. It's a very creative anf original idea :)
Wow once again big kudos to you for updating. I have to say i'm a little on the confuzzled side with this chapter. It felt a little rushed and like Julie said, i'm not sure whether she is dead or alive or in some kind of pergatory state. Getting hit over the head with a bottle kind of did it for me. Can a ghost get hit over the head with a bottle? Unless the guy that did it was also a ghost, then that would suck. I'd hate to know that when I died someone could actually hurt me! That would suck monkey butts! I loved the backstory on Val's suicide. You has a great imagination miss Julilly which is why I's loves you soo much! And now I realize since i've left you a mini book this probably won't take. Was she hit with a bottle? No lol it was the butt of a gun wasn't it? I have the rentention of a goldfish. What? Did someone say something? Where am I?
DOH!!! SPOILAGE!!!!! MUST STOP READING!!!!
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This is a cool thread, constructive criticism is always scary. But it's also very important and eye opening, I remember way back when i barely started posting my story "When I Found You" it was already finished. Then Mellz Bellz took the time to read it and let me know that the story was going too fast and that I should research the illness and symptoms. I did and rewrote most of it, it makes way more sense now. THANKS MELLZ BELLZ who probably doesn't even remember reading it. ;D
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I finally got around to checking out Rose's new story "Born to Be," which drew me in from the summary. Here's the review I left for the first couple of chapters that are posted.
Interesting start! I like it so far... and I'm anxious to read more! I like your use of description and the way you word things, especially in the prologue. Just watch your tenses... you tend to switch tenses, even in mid-sentence, and it takes away from the flow of the writing. But going back to the descriptions, I like the two suns and the purple grass and the blue leaves and everything... how it all mimicks our world, but surreal and just "off."
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And I'm very happy to see you review it Julie, and took what you said and used it :) Cause I just re-edited my chapters and hopefully caught all the tense issues :) till I find me a good beta.
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I just read Reb's newest chapter that she posted yesterday for "Satan's Playground". Figured I would take part in this, so here is the review I left for her:
Well holy shit damn! I remember reading this back when you first started posting and I apologize because I don't remember if I ever reviewed it back then and if I didn't, I apologize for that too. Reading this brings back memories of watching that show on MTV way back in the day. I'm such a nerd for that kinda stuff and I always said I was going to appear on it one day and then MTV went and cancelled the damn thing. I'm thoroughly enjoying the story as you allow it to unravel. Your writing is about 15 degrees off simple (that's a good thing) with just enough detail that I think it hooks any reader's attention and preys upon our interest into the unknown/unexplained. There is a certain fear that you have masterfully woven throughout the words you have written and I find myself feeling each and everyone of the fellas emotions. Maybe it's because I am totally into this stuff and frequent a ghost hunting/investigation trip whenever I can, but with the way you are so far letting this story unfold, it has allowed me to paint a vivid picture within my mind of everything that is going on. All in all you definitely have one wicked creative imagination and I like it. I'm a sucker for good thrillers and you have me impressed. The only problem I've found so far are a couple tense/grammar issues throughout the chapters but they are minor things. Hope to see another update soon because it would be a real shame if we had to wait another long period of time before we got to read more! [Ashley]
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Ok, so I know I was the last one to post a review I had left, but I just got done leaving the longest review I swear I have ever written for a story, so I figured I would share it on here. It's for "Finally Found You" by bsbgirl4ever23, kristylee.
I must say that I thoroughly agree with what Julilly briefly touched on. However, I feel further input I may have to give could also be beneficial for you guys.
There are still a lot of grammar, spelling, and structure errors that I found throughout both chapters. Those three things, especially grammar and paragraph structure errors, can actually turn a prospective reader away from even giving a story a look.
Like Julilly previously said, quotation marks should be put around dialogue (words that a character is speaking). I noticed that you use ' ' as quotations, but the dialogue quotations should really be " ". That right there is just minor though.
Another thing I wanted to touch on is paragraph structure. For example, when there is a set of dialogue (conversation) that is going on between two characters, each line of dialogue should get their own paragraph. When you leave the whole conversation as one paragraph, especially when there isn't any sort of detail (emotions, expressions, etc) written in between the characters speaking, it makes it appear rather jumbled and difficult to read. This also goes when there isn't a break between any paragraphs. It is extremely difficult when you're staring at a long page of one big paragraph that consists of the entire chapter, including details and dialogue. That can actually turn readers away and cause a loss of interest.
I recommend taking a look at your punctuation usage. You used ( ; ) throughout both chapters. In correct grammar, semi colons are not used as often. I noticed that you used them to denote the end of sentences. All you need for that is periods (.) Semi colons are helpful when you want to connect two sentences together that contain for the most part the same content/meaning (kind of like using a big comma [,] if that makes sense?).
Another thing you should consider is developing your story line more. I'm assuming you know who all of your characters are and you probably have a general idea about them, and that is good for you the writers. But from a reader's perspective, when we open a story, we come in with the idea that the writer (or writers in this case) has shown the knowledge of their characters and will successfully introduce them to us as if we are being introduced to new friends. I didn't feel that at all while reading what you have posted so far. It was like there were just two random girls having random dialogue and I was left with not knowing anything about them, other then the fact they are going to a Backstreet Boys concert in Australia. Some helpful questions to keep in mind when developing the story line more could be:
Who are the characters (names, ages, physical attributes, their pasts)?
How do the characters know each other? Where did they meet? How long have they known each other?
What is the story about?
If you're not sure how to start something off, one good way to get past that is by making your first chapter what I guess you could call an "Introduction/History" lesson. This is where you could introduce the important/main characters and embellish on their past. Let us know who they are. This is also where you can set the stage for the rest of the story. You don't necessarily need to deliver a big bang right away, just give us some minor sparks. :)
I don't know if you have checked out the AC forums yet (the link is on the main page of the AC site), but there are a lot of good and fun writing exercises and character surveys that are very helpful in developing characters. It brings you more in touch with your characters. Either way, you should check the forum out. *blushes* A little bit of shameless plugging. LoL, we're a bunch of nerds who have way too much time on our hands, but there's a lot of authors on there that would be more then willing to give advice. Plus, it's alot of fun! :)
One more thing, because I feel like I have rambled on way too much and have lectured more so then given advice like I was trying to do... Really focus on detail. Detail detail detail. You can paint so much with words, it's pretty neat. Detail is what gives a story life. Without detail, the story holds no backbone.
I hope you don't think I'm being rough, because I am only trying help. Hope what I have said will help. Don't give up though; keep trying. I'm sure with more work and development, you could turn this into something that readers want to keep up with.
[Ashley]
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That was very well worded! I kept mine brief because I was worried that I might look like a jerky jerkerson being the only person having said anything then being like BAM but with two people touching on the same topics it helps you realize that it's not just one person.
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*sigh* It's alright Julilly. I decided to be the jerky jerkerson for you. Heh. Actually, it was really difficult to leave that review. The whole time I wanted to just be blunt about it not being up to par, but that would be like being the queen of jerky jerkersons, and well, that totally goes against the point of concrit. Especially since if my story wasn't up to par and I was actually looking for concrit to help me make it better, I'd say it would have made me feel downright like poop if someone flat out said it sucked. So yeah...longest review I've ever written. I'm exhausted. I wasn't being too much of a jerky jerkerson was I?
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Not at all it was very well written, and helpful
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I agree with Julily, Ash. Very well worded and helpful. Yes, you gave them a LOT to work on...but...if they take your advice, they can completely turn the story around. I know that I would want that kind of concrit if I wrote something that...sucked. lol.
So don't worry about sounding jerky....lol. If they know how to handle the criticism just meant to help them out....then they wont take any offense.
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^ I saw this post and got all confused. And I wondered if Ash was actually back and posted something. It took me a minute to realize she meant Ashley...
and yes, I agree too. Very helpful. If only there were more reviews out there like this.
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*scratches temple* Hmmm...I suppose it could go two ways because they took the story down. Either they took what I had to say with stride and will use it to their advantage or they're offended... :-\
Darn, I was really hoping to get a response... My fingers are still hurting from typing that review...LoL.