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Author Topic: Even newer questions to ponder  (Read 111163 times)

smh1105

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #540 on: February 06, 2019, 07:30:15 PM »


Who do you think is the boys biggest competition for the Grammys?
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RokofAges75

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #541 on: February 06, 2019, 07:41:06 PM »

This topic is so interesting and complex. It's interesting to see your angle of looking at the boys as family. When you put it that way it makes so much sense.

I've only ever thrown myself into two fandoms in my life. Duran Duran and BSB. All the other groups I have enjoyed, I don't think I'd even be able to name everyone in the group. Seriously, I still don't think I can name all five of the nsync guys without help lol

I can say that I watched the last season of House of Cards and would have, even if Kevin Spacey was involved, because I loved that show and he was only part of it. I can also admit that I can never completely watch anything with Bill Cosby In it, without feeling a high level of disgust. Complex, see what I mean?

When it comes to the boys, my fandom has waned already, which you guys all know. Because it has, I can tell you the only way I would even know about this Melissa thing is through the two or three people who talked about it on my twitter feed. I barely follow any BSB fans really except for the few of you who post in here. You guys are the only reason I know about it. My point being, for whatever reason, this never became a big deal. So for me, it's never been a big deal. I have never been the type of person that will automatically side with a victim just because they are a victim. One of my best friends in high school was accused of raping his ex girlfriend in our senior year of high school. He was 18 and she was 16. They took him away in handcuffs and just like that, his life was ruined. He wasn't convicted, it never went to trial and charges were dismissed. Despite all of that, there was always speculation. He ended up moving out of state and starting over. Years later, that same girl admitted she made up the whole story because he didn't ask her to prom. So, yeah... That's how I think about things.

Everyone is entitled to think what they want. The problems start when you try to convince people your thinkng is the correct thinking. Just like politics, no one is going to ever win those arguments.

The family thing is the best way I could think of to describe that unconditional love.  It's different because I don't really KNOW them that way, even though I've met them, but at the same time, they've been such a big part of my life for so long... I don't have many, if any, genuine, close friendships that have lasted as long as I've been a BSB fan.  There's a dedication and a loyalty there that I can't just shut off.  This is the only fandom I've ever been this devoted to, longterm.  Most of the other things I consider myself a huge fan of are fictional stuff, like Harry Potter and The Walking Dead.  It's different when it involves real people.  I'm like you when it comes to other bands; I like a lot of different types of music, and so there are many bands and artists I enjoy, but I don't necessarily care about most of them as people - I just like their music.

This whole #MeToo movement has been weird to witness.  On one hand, I do think people like Kevin Spacey and Bill Cosby, who have apparently been abusing others for a long time, should have to own up to their actions and face the consequences.  It disgusts me to hear all these horrifying details come out about someone like Bill Cosby, who always seemed like a good guy.  It just goes to show how well some of these celebrities hide their true character underneath a charming public persona.  And who knows, that could be true about Nick, too.  But I was never a fan of Bill Cosby the way I am of Nick, and that makes it different.  It also seems like once the movement took off, it became trendy for women to accuse men of sexual abuse, and then it became a witch hunt.  I watched the same thing happen to Chris Hardwick, who hosts Talking Dead, when he was accused of abuse by an ex-girlfriend.  It looked like he might get fired from his show, but AMC ended up supporting him after they investigated it.  I believe that, like Nick, he's also a good guy whose name was dragged through the mud by someone trying to take advantage of him because it seemed like the trendy thing to do.  False accusations only hurt real victims.  Women do lie sometimes, as was the case with your friend, and that's why I don't buy into the whole notion that women should blindly support other women just because they are women.  No.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that's why I finally brought it up here.  I haven't said too much about the allegations because I have friends in the fandom who totally disagree with me on this issue, but hopefully by now it's been long enough that we can talk about it without anyone getting their feelings hurt.  I've seen friendships ruined on Twitter over this, and I hate to see that.  It's also sad to see people struggling with their fandom over something that allegedly happened so long ago.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2019, 07:43:59 PM by RokofAges75 »
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RokofAges75

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #542 on: February 06, 2019, 07:42:37 PM »


Okay so I just finally got around to watching the video and wtf I am so disappointed in Helpless When She Smiles... That video has nothing to do with the song. It's boring and I was unimpressed. I also think the only thing about it that I liked was Nick and Brian lol they look good. That was it.

I remember when the boys had their Say Now and Nick had called in from the video shoot to tell us that for the shots in the field they were getting hit with cow patties from the helicopter. Haha

For some reason I never got around to watching the video until now


It is a pretty video; I'll give them that!  They look good in both videos from Unbreakable, but I still hate them (the videos, not the boys LOL).
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RokofAges75

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #543 on: February 06, 2019, 07:46:09 PM »

Who do you think is the boys biggest competition for the Grammys?

I had to look up who else is nominated in their category, LOL.  For anyone else who didn't know, here are the nominees:

FALL IN LINE
Christina Aguilera Featuring Demi Lovato
 
DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART
Backstreet Boys
 
'S WONDERFUL
Tony Bennett & Diana Krall
 
SHALLOW
Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper
 
GIRLS LIKE YOU
Maroon 5 Featuring Cardi B
 
SAY SOMETHING
Justin Timberlake Featuring Chris Stapleton
 
THE MIDDLE
Zedd, Maren Morris & Grey


I've only heard about half of these songs, and besides BSB, the only one I like is Shallow, so I'd say that's their biggest competition.  A Star is Born was really popular.  Girls Like You is played all the freaking time, though, so that could be competition too.  Same with The Middle.  I have no idea, though.  I don't even remember the last time I watched the Grammys (probably not since the last time the Boys did something on it) because I don't care for a lot of the current music on the radio these days.  I miss the turn of the millennium!  I love classic rock, 90s pop, and 80s music in general.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2019, 08:06:29 PM by RokofAges75 »
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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #544 on: February 06, 2019, 07:57:35 PM »

Do you guys think they'll win?  I'm so used to being disappointed by the Grammys, I'm trying not to get my hopes up LOL.  But at the same time, I have lived to see the Chicago Cubs win a World Series and Leonardo DiCaprio win an Oscar (in the same year!), so why shouldn't the Backstreet Boys finally win a Grammy?  Maybe the stars will have aligned, and this will be their year!  It'll mean more now than it would have back in 1999, 2000, etc.
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smh1105

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #545 on: February 06, 2019, 08:27:00 PM »

Yea, its hard to say. They sometimes don't go for what was the most popular. I agree that shallow might be their biggest competition. idk if gaga and bradley are nominated for any Oscars, but if they are they can win that and leave the grammy for the Backstreet Boys lol I do think they have a pretty good chance, but I too am not going to get my hopes up too high. Not that I don't believe in the guys.   
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RokofAges75

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #546 on: February 06, 2019, 10:55:26 PM »

They are nominated for the Oscars and already won the Golden Globe for Best Song, so they could be tough competition.  I agree, though - let them win at the other awards, and leave the Grammy for BSB!

I was also thinking, back when the Boys used to get nominated for Grammys, they always lost to old artists/groups - Santana, Sting, Steely Dan, U2.  I know they're up against Tony Bennett, who is ancient, and a couple of their peers (Christina, JT), but otherwise, they ARE the "old guys" compared to the newer, more current artists, so maybe that actually works in their favor!
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mare

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #547 on: February 07, 2019, 03:04:23 AM »

Hey 2 of my college friends are also up for song of the year at the Oscars so we don’t want Gaga to win that one either! Just sayin’ lol

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mare

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #548 on: February 07, 2019, 05:23:54 AM »

I agree that it would take something very serious with irrefutable evidence and was found guilty of something to just be like no, I don't want anything to do with them or that person.  And obviously the whole thing with Nick didn't seems to be taken too seriously cause I didn't even find out about it till almost a year after she came out about it (but then again I was going through a lot at that time so I might have just been oblivious) If she can't tell that Nick is a completely different person then he was back then, then she might be doing it just to get attention. 

What do you think the rest of the guys would do if one of them was found guilty of something? Do you think they will go one without that memeber? Yea, they did when kevin left and did a bunch of shows with out AJ but if it was something serious, do you think they would go on?


I’m not sure. I think they’d definitely continue on as a group. If anything, they’d just kick out that member. As much as I’d like to believe they’d stick by each other, I remember Brian was more than willing to kick Nick to the curb when he delayed things with his solo album, so I could see him being in the kick someone out of the group bandwagon, unless it’s him of course lol

In all honesty, I think it would take something completely horrible to happen and recent for them to do something like that.
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mare

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #549 on: February 07, 2019, 05:28:06 AM »

Do you guys think they'll win?  I'm so used to being disappointed by the Grammys, I'm trying not to get my hopes up LOL.  But at the same time, I have lived to see the Chicago Cubs win a World Series and Leonardo DiCaprio win an Oscar (in the same year!), so why shouldn't the Backstreet Boys finally win a Grammy?  Maybe the stars will have aligned, and this will be their year!  It'll mean more now than it would have back in 1999, 2000, etc.

I don’t want to get my hopes up either, but I feel like this time around, there’s a different vibe surrounding them. All the times they have been nominated prior to this, they weren’t taken very seriously by their peers. This time around, I feel like they’ve finally gotten respect from their fellow peers in the industry and that really does make all The difference. Now whether they actually win this one I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this album was up for several of them next year. I mean maybe it’s wishful thinking but it’s got all the earmarks of an album that won’t be ignored.
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Rose

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #550 on: February 07, 2019, 02:26:30 PM »

The family thing is the best way I could think of to describe that unconditional love.  It's different because I don't really KNOW them that way, even though I've met them, but at the same time, they've been such a big part of my life for so long... I don't have many, if any, genuine, close friendships that have lasted as long as I've been a BSB fan.  There's a dedication and a loyalty there that I can't just shut off.  This is the only fandom I've ever been this devoted to, longterm.  Most of the other things I consider myself a huge fan of are fictional stuff, like Harry Potter and The Walking Dead.  It's different when it involves real people.  I'm like you when it comes to other bands; I like a lot of different types of music, and so there are many bands and artists I enjoy, but I don't necessarily care about most of them as people - I just like their music.

This whole #MeToo movement has been weird to witness.  On one hand, I do think people like Kevin Spacey and Bill Cosby, who have apparently been abusing others for a long time, should have to own up to their actions and face the consequences.  It disgusts me to hear all these horrifying details come out about someone like Bill Cosby, who always seemed like a good guy.  It just goes to show how well some of these celebrities hide their true character underneath a charming public persona.  And who knows, that could be true about Nick, too.  But I was never a fan of Bill Cosby the way I am of Nick, and that makes it different.  It also seems like once the movement took off, it became trendy for women to accuse men of sexual abuse, and then it became a witch hunt.  I watched the same thing happen to Chris Hardwick, who hosts Talking Dead, when he was accused of abuse by an ex-girlfriend.  It looked like he might get fired from his show, but AMC ended up supporting him after they investigated it.  I believe that, like Nick, he's also a good guy whose name was dragged through the mud by someone trying to take advantage of him because it seemed like the trendy thing to do.  False accusations only hurt real victims.  Women do lie sometimes, as was the case with your friend, and that's why I don't buy into the whole notion that women should blindly support other women just because they are women.  No.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that's why I finally brought it up here.  I haven't said too much about the allegations because I have friends in the fandom who totally disagree with me on this issue, but hopefully by now it's been long enough that we can talk about it without anyone getting their feelings hurt.  I've seen friendships ruined on Twitter over this, and I hate to see that.  It's also sad to see people struggling with their fandom over something that allegedly happened so long ago.

I'm honestly glad you have. It's nice having a real discussion on this. On TDS that's still impossible because every time people tried it devolved into insults and name calling. I fully support the idea of hearing women. I do feel that in that aspect, it's overdo. People like Cosby and Spacey needed to be shown for the people they truly were. I do think the movement turned into a witch hunt. George Takei is another example. He was accused and later it came out that his accuser lied. There's still people who don't believe that though. And people who lie about something so serious really do deserve karma to come back on them. False accusations follow forever, and it makes it impossible to simply "believe women" based on their word. There's a lot of reasons I don't believe Melissa, my feelings on Nick aside. I find the most frustrating thing is that because I don't agree with believing blindly, is I'm seen by many as a blind fangirl. Or a rapist apologist. I've had to block a lot of people in the past year due to the heat I got for my opinion.

The thing is, I could stand up right now and accuse someone just because. I could say it happened years ago and that's why there's no proof. I could get friends to say I told them years ago. And because of that, by no means should anyone just believe me because I'm female.

If someday Nick confessed he did it, or some irrefutable proof came out? I'd be the first to admit I was wrong.
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Rose

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #551 on: February 07, 2019, 02:28:25 PM »

I don’t want to get my hopes up either, but I feel like this time around, there’s a different vibe surrounding them. All the times they have been nominated prior to this, they weren’t taken very seriously by their peers. This time around, I feel like they’ve finally gotten respect from their fellow peers in the industry and that really does make all The difference. Now whether they actually win this one I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this album was up for several of them next year. I mean maybe it’s wishful thinking but it’s got all the earmarks of an album that won’t be ignored.
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mare

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #552 on: February 07, 2019, 04:15:33 PM »

The family thing is the best way I could think of to describe that unconditional love.  It's different because I don't really KNOW them that way, even though I've met them, but at the same time, they've been such a big part of my life for so long... I don't have many, if any, genuine, close friendships that have lasted as long as I've been a BSB fan.  There's a dedication and a loyalty there that I can't just shut off.  This is the only fandom I've ever been this devoted to, longterm.  Most of the other things I consider myself a huge fan of are fictional stuff, like Harry Potter and The Walking Dead.  It's different when it involves real people.  I'm like you when it comes to other bands; I like a lot of different types of music, and so there are many bands and artists I enjoy, but I don't necessarily care about most of them as people - I just like their music.

This whole #MeToo movement has been weird to witness.  On one hand, I do think people like Kevin Spacey and Bill Cosby, who have apparently been abusing others for a long time, should have to own up to their actions and face the consequences.  It disgusts me to hear all these horrifying details come out about someone like Bill Cosby, who always seemed like a good guy.  It just goes to show how well some of these celebrities hide their true character underneath a charming public persona.  And who knows, that could be true about Nick, too.  But I was never a fan of Bill Cosby the way I am of Nick, and that makes it different.  It also seems like once the movement took off, it became trendy for women to accuse men of sexual abuse, and then it became a witch hunt.  I watched the same thing happen to Chris Hardwick, who hosts Talking Dead, when he was accused of abuse by an ex-girlfriend.  It looked like he might get fired from his show, but AMC ended up supporting him after they investigated it.  I believe that, like Nick, he's also a good guy whose name was dragged through the mud by someone trying to take advantage of him because it seemed like the trendy thing to do.  False accusations only hurt real victims.  Women do lie sometimes, as was the case with your friend, and that's why I don't buy into the whole notion that women should blindly support other women just because they are women.  No.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that's why I finally brought it up here.  I haven't said too much about the allegations because I have friends in the fandom who totally disagree with me on this issue, but hopefully by now it's been long enough that we can talk about it without anyone getting their feelings hurt.  I've seen friendships ruined on Twitter over this, and I hate to see that.  It's also sad to see people struggling with their fandom over something that allegedly happened so long ago.

I think the metoo movement is long over due, but yes, I do feel like for every five real claims there is probably one false one. I think it’s a mistake to automatically just assume the victim is not lying just as I think it’s a mistake to automatically assume the victim is lying. Unless people admit to doing wrong, it’s always going to be a he said she said. At that point we all make our own judgement a and move on from there. I do tend do believe the victim if a whole slew of victims come out and admit the same thing happened to them like Cosby and Weinstein. Otherwise I try to hold out judgement until I hear a definitive ounce of proof one way or the other.  That’s just how I feel.

I will never fault anyone for having feelings opposite mine. Whether I strongly disagree or not. I think that’s why people can’t handle these kinds of talks. People get so defensive when others don’t agree with what’s being said. I have seen, especially on TDS when discussing touchy topics, people just assume they aren’t being understood and whoever thinks differently is just stupid for thinking that way.

Believing Melissa does not make you a bad fan.
Believing Nick does not make you a rape apologist.

Like I said up there somewhere, believe whatever you want but for the love of God...don’t try to change people’s minds. Just move on and accept that at the end of the day, the truth usually comes out.
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RokofAges75

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #553 on: February 07, 2019, 05:44:11 PM »

Hey 2 of my college friends are also up for song of the year at the Oscars so we don’t want Gaga to win that one either! Just sayin’ lol

When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings from the Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Gillian Welch and Dave Rawlings
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RokofAges75

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Re: Even newer questions to ponder
« Reply #554 on: February 07, 2019, 05:58:38 PM »

I think the metoo movement is long over due, but yes, I do feel like for every five real claims there is probably one false one. I think it’s a mistake to automatically just assume the victim is not lying just as I think it’s a mistake to automatically assume the victim is lying. Unless people admit to doing wrong, it’s always going to be a he said she said. At that point we all make our own judgement a and move on from there. I do tend do believe the victim if a whole slew of victims come out and admit the same thing happened to them like Cosby and Weinstein. Otherwise I try to hold out judgement until I hear a definitive ounce of proof one way or the other.  That’s just how I feel.

I will never fault anyone for having feelings opposite mine. Whether I strongly disagree or not. I think that’s why people can’t handle these kinds of talks. People get so defensive when others don’t agree with what’s being said. I have seen, especially on TDS when discussing touchy topics, people just assume they aren’t being understood and whoever thinks differently is just stupid for thinking that way.

Believing Melissa does not make you a bad fan.
Believing Nick does not make you a rape apologist.

Like I said up there somewhere, believe whatever you want but for the love of God...don’t try to change people’s minds. Just move on and accept that at the end of the day, the truth usually comes out.


Totally agree!  It's absolutely a case of he said/she said, and none of us will ever know the truth.  I think it's very possible that Melissa and Nick have both told their "truth" and just remember things differently.  Nick never denied that they hooked up, but he may have genuinely thought it was consensual when she's now saying it wasn't.  For me, there just isn't enough evidence in her favor to turn me against him.

I can only imagine the threads on TDS.  This is why I like our little group here LOL.  We've always been able to debate rationally and respectfully.
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"Sometimes writers and sociopaths are hard to tell apart." -J.K. Rowling
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