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Author Topic: Just a general pop in thread  (Read 26101 times)

RokofAges75

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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #285 on: November 28, 2024, 09:11:55 PM »

Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope you and your sister had a good one.  Mine was good.  My sister and her family drove down from Michigan; I haven't seen them since August, so it's been nice having them here.

I hope the snow stays south of you, so you can go see A Real Pain and the Home Alone event with Macaulay.  It has gotten cold here but no real snow yet.  I don't mind it around Christmas, but I'm not quite ready for the winter weather yet.

I was nervous about having my principal's kid, but it wasn't bad at all!  First of all, his daughter is a model student - smart, inquisitive, hard-working, well-behaved, and kind.  I never had to reach out to him or his wife about any issues with her, which helped.  But he was a lot more "hands off" than I expected him to be and didn't hover around my classroom or ask me challenging questions at parent-teacher conferences or anything like that.  I've had worse experiences having other teachers' kids, so that was a relief!  It's hard having colleagues' kids, especially when they have behavior problems.

My worst experience was having the kid of a teacher in the same hall as me whom I considered a friend.  He had ADHD, which is fine, but his impulsivity led to him making a lot of poor choices that he never seemed to learn from.  He was allowed to use a fidget in class, but he was constantly bringing in little toys (Lego minifigures, action figures, and that sort of thing) and playing with them during lessons.  After he'd been warned several times, I started confiscating them and keeping them in a Ziploc bag to give back to his mom.  Well, one day, he decided to sneak into my desk during inside recess when I wasn't in the room and take his bag of toys back.  I found out and went down to his mom's room at the end of the day to talk to both him and her about it together.  She initially seemed supportive of me and agreed that it was inappropriate for him to get into my desk, etc., but the very next day, her son was caught shoplifting from our book fair.  We had another conversation, and he missed out on the school-wide monthly reward we had to celebrate all the students who made good behavior choices during the month.  I'm sure she was embarrassed that her kid didn't get to participate, but our relationship was never quite the same after that.  She started making excuses for him anytime he got in trouble, blaming it on his ADHD and acting like I was expecting too much out of him or not being understanding enough of his disability by holding him accountable for following the same rules as everyone else.  Ever since then, I've been wary of having friends' kids because it made things super awkward between us.  As teachers, we've all dealt with those parents who believe their child can do no wrong, so it's crazy when teachers are those kind of parents themselves.  I'm sure that was frustrating for you, dealing with that 7th grade teacher's kids.

That is exactly how I feel about religion.  I'm not an atheist either; I would describe myself as more agnostic or spiritual.  I believe in something, but I don't take the Bible literally and or think any religion got everything "right."  I'm sure that did make it difficult to teach in a Catholic school.  I could never do it.  I wish people would focus more on the commonalities between most of the major religions instead of the differences.  Organized religion has been the root of so many problems between groups of people throughout history.  Why can't we just let people believe what they want to believe and leave each other alone?

I'm fine with writing another sequel if that's what my characters want.  I always worry I'm going to start one and then run out of steam because that's what used to happen to me with most sequels in my early days of writing.  But after over a thousand days of writing about these characters, I feel like I could continue indefinitely as long as I have ideas, which I have plenty of.  My only other concern is that I'm completely alienating the readers who know me for my Nick stories and don't want to read longfics about Kevin.  But what I want to write isn't always what's popular, and I have to be okay with that.

I'm not sure if the differences you're describing with readers have to do with the fandom or the platform (AO3).  I think with AO3 being so much bigger than AC and not having a community feature like this forum, people are a lot less likely to form relationships with each other.  Instead of loyally following authors whose writing they like, they use the tags to filter the kind of stories they want to read, regardless of who wrote them.  And that's fine, but it's definitely a different vibe than we had here, where the regulars got to know each other and often read and interacted with each other's work.  I miss that.  I have like three regular readers for my current story, and two of the three came from here.  The other one interacts with me on Twitter as well as AO3, so I'm not sure where she first started following me.  Sometimes I'll get kudos on several stories from the same user, but I don't feel like I really have faithful readers that found me through AO3 first.

That definitely seems like one downside of writing for a fictional fandom instead of about real people, that the fandom dies down once the media is no longer being made and loses popularity.  But there will always be those people who are loyal to it, like you, and if you keep writing for that fandom while others move on, it will make your work even more valuable to people who want to read Succession fics.  The fanfic corner of the BSB fandom has shrunk significantly over the last ten years or so, but I figure as long as there's still someone who wants to read what I write, it's worth posting.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2024, 09:15:30 PM by RokofAges75 »
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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #286 on: November 29, 2024, 03:24:29 AM »

Happy Thanksgiving to you all, hope you had a good day :)

I can't believe parents called a Harry Potter themed classroom as a school of witchcraft and took them out of school.  That's just crazy behaviour lol.  Sounds like you were well rid of that kid too.

I'm not religious at all.  I don't believe in it and in my opinion the world would be a better place without it.  I know that may be an unpopular opinion.  I know I celebrate Christmas, but I'm not celebrating the religious part, just the getting together with family and friends and giving/receiving gifts part, and the time off work :)
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mare

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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #287 on: November 29, 2024, 09:10:54 AM »

Hi guys! Well Thanksgiving morning at 5:15 my mom passed away. So that's how I spent my holiday. She has been sick for a while and started hospice care a few weeks ago, so it wasn't that big of a surprise. We had a very complex relationship, so the emotions have been all over the place. We decided not to tell anyone until today. The two of us just took the day to process and we had to do all that fun stuff, funeral home etc... I'm probably going to post about it on FB after I finish up here.

That's the stressful part. Letting everyone know. Speaking of religion, mom didn't want a church service or anything like that. No big burial, which honestly is good because this was very expensive. We're not even sure how we're going to pay for this. Mom had no assets. I was paying her bills to begin with. We might do a go fund me although I can't see myself doing that. Anyway, we just are having her cremated and then maybe have a small celebration of life for her in the spring once the weather is a little more manageable. I know some of my relatives and her best friend are going to have a problem with that. They are going to want the whole shabang because they are all still devout Catholics.

So yeah...sorry to put a huge damper on things. I don't know if you knew this, but my father died on the 4th of July. My family tends to die on Holidays.  :shrug: Very on brand. lol
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RokofAges75

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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #288 on: November 29, 2024, 12:59:55 PM »

Mare, I saw your FB post before I came here. I'm so sorry for your loss - both losses, actually. I know you had a complicated relationship with your parents and can understand why your emotions would be all over the place, but regardless, I'm sure it's still a very tough time for you and your sister.  Don't be afraid to ask for help, financially or otherwise.  The cost of a traditional funeral and burial is crazy!  Cremation and a celebration of life in the spring sounds like a much better idea.  I'm sure you know your mom's wishes and what you and your sister can afford better than your other relatives, so try not to worry about what they think. 

I know you have a lot going on right now, but I hope you can still take some time to yourself and do the things you were looking forward to doing this weekend to help take your mind off everything else.

Steph, I've become the same way with holidays - I celebrate the secular, gift-giving, family-centered aspects of them rather than the religious parts.
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mare

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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #289 on: November 30, 2024, 08:32:37 AM »

Thanks! I know I was vague with my dad. I didn't want you to think he just died this past July Fourth. He actually died way back in 1994. Just happened to be on a holiday. My grandfather died on my birthday. It's a whole thing. lol

We do plan on still going to see Macauley tonight as long as the weather agrees with us. Buffalo is so weird. Right now, it's doing nothing here, but I had to get bloodwork done this morning and just the next town over it's snowing pretty heavily and two towns over they have over three feet of snow at the moment! We're just going to play it by ear because I am using my wheelchair and there's no way I will be able to maneuver in the snow. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it won't do much here or downtown. I need to see my stand in emotional support Culkin.

The cost for just a simple cremation package is close to 4,000. Luckily, I have a pretty big credit limit on my card which I rarely if ever use, so we're just going to do that and deal with the payments later. I'm hoping some relatives might be willing to offer first. So far no one has mentioned anything about a church service or proper burial so that's been a good thing. Although as we speak, my sister is on the phone with my mother's best friend. We'll see what happens with that.

I'm the same way with Christmas as the both of you. We don't do the whole church deal, just presents and food. Celebrating each other more so than someone's birth. I never say my thoughts and prayers are with you either. I always opt of the sending you big hugs. Religion is such a weird thing.

My writing has gone completely out the window these last few days. I thought maybe I'd write a bit now, but I am not feeling it. Hopefully that'll come back soon. Maybe after a bit of this stressful stuff wears off. I'm also having my car inspected this morning. My doctor made me go get additional bloodwork today because my results from last week 'alarmed' her, so there's that too. I'm a mess!

I think I'm going to go read for a little bit!
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Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don't want to make eye contact while doing it. ~ John Green

RokofAges75

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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #290 on: November 30, 2024, 10:02:16 PM »

That's a lot to deal with in one week!  I'm so sorry. 😢  I wouldn't be able to focus on writing either, but you'll get back to it when life calms down.  I hope the universe will send some good things your way soon!
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mare

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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #291 on: December 03, 2024, 10:11:22 AM »

I just wanted to come in and thank the both of you for making a donation. It means a lot to me!  :bighug:
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Carter-Orange

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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #292 on: December 05, 2024, 02:28:50 AM »

So sorry for your loss Mare, even if you had a complicated relationship with your mum, and you were kind of expecting this to happen as she was in a hospice, I think it would still come as a shock to you both.  I hope your family doesn't give you a hard time over your plans for her funeral.  It's a lot to pay out for so don't feel bad if they don't agree with the cremation and spring celebration of her life. 

I also hope your blood tests don't show anything serious.  You have enough going on without adding more.

Sending you hugs :)
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RokofAges75

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Re: Just a general pop in thread
« Reply #293 on: Today at 12:05:42 AM »

You're welcome!  It was the least we could do.  It looked like you got a lot of donations last time I checked, so hopefully that will at least help to relieve some anxiety about how you're going to pay for everything.  I hope you're doing okay under the circumstances.  I'm glad there was some good Kieran and BSB content this week to cheer you up.
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~Julie

"Sometimes writers and sociopaths are hard to tell apart." -J.K. Rowling
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