One Long 'Trip' by evergreenwriter83
Story Notes:
Runner Up: Best Challenge - 2010 Felix Awards
Chapter 1 by evergreenwriter83
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It was almost Christmas and the guys and I had agreed to come to Colorado to be a surprise opening act for the popular country group, Rascal Flatts. After the concert, we spent an hour shooting the shit and then it was time to leave.

The guys and I had received two huge trays of brownies from a little old lady before the show. Bri and I both grabbed a tray of brownies and headed back on the bus.

"Tomorrow afternoon we're hitting the slopes," Kev announced.

"What about tonight?" AJ asked.

"We're not skiing in the dark. Are you on a suicide mission?"

"I wasn't thinking about skiing," AJ said. He smirked. "Maybe more like naked snow angels."

I unwrapped the plastic from the brownie tray.

"I think I'll take a brownie instead."

Everyone else seemed to be in agreement. We passed around the first tray. I took a bite and about died. The chocolate frosting has some marshmallow whipped in and the actual brownie itself had the most unusual flavor.

"Oh my god, can we hire that woman to be our tour chef?" Brian moaned.

We had just gotten into a discussion about the upcoming tour and were starting to pass around the second tray of brownies when I felt the bus slow.

"Oh shit."

I looked up front. We had the low cabin lights on overhead but the driver was still masked in shadow.

"What's up?" Kev called out.

I felt the driver pull the bus over. A second later it completely stopped.

"Well, I hate to say this," the driver said nervously. "But I ran out of gas."

"What?"

He stood up. The light overhead shone directly on his face and I could see the look of embarassment.

"There was a gas station about a mile back. I'm going to go get some fuel."

"You're going to walk in this weather?" I asked. The driver smiled. He reached down and pulled out a humongous coat.

"I always come prepared."

We all watched in dumbfounded silence as he opened the doors and hopped outside.

"I can't believe this," Howie said. "What crappy luck is that?"

"I can top that," AJ said. "Guys, we can't eat any more of these brownies."

I looked down. There was only a half of a pan left.

"Why?"

AJ had one small bite left. He brought it up to his nose and sniffed it.

"These are filled with pot."

Loud gasps filled the room.

"Pot?"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

AJ smirked. "Nick, I've had a couple edibles in my day."

"I ate pot?"

My wife, Liv, looked like she was about ready to freak out. I didn't know if that was the brownies kicking in or just the reaction to learning those amazing brownies were laced with weed.

"Dude, when did we start to eat them?"

"How long do you think it's going to take that guy to come back with gas?"

"Should we call 911?"

I held out my cellphone.

"We have no service."

Everyone got quiet as my announcement sank in.

"What do we do?" Liv finally asked.

AJ leaned his seat back and propped his legs up. "Just relax."

I knew from my own experience that you got a pretty instant effect when you smoked pot. I had a feeling that digesting it made the full effect of the hit take longer.

After about fifteen minutes I got bored with the uneasy silence. By my estimates, it had been a little over an hour since we had started snarfing the brownies. I was just about ready to break out a deck of playing cards when Liv began to giggle.

It appeared that Liv was the lightweight of the group. Leighanne turned around. "Oh crap, are you okay?"

Liv nodded. "Yeah, it's just...there was pot in those brownies."

I tried really hard not to laugh. There was a glazed look in Liv's eyes and she was looking around as if she just realized that she was on a bus.

"Oh crap, I can't feel my feet."

I stood up and snorted. Two rows ahead of me Howie was hunched over staring at his legs.

"Has Howie ever had pot before?" AJ called out to the room in general.

"Not that I can remember," I said.

"Just checking."

"I'm going outside to see if I can get cellphone reception," Brian said. He stood up. He took about three steps towards the front of the bus and stopped.

"Woah."

"What?"

I assumed that the full impact had hit him and he was seeing litte Jerry Garcia bears dancing in front of his eyes. Instead he pointed to the front window.

"It's snowing, bad."

He wasn't kidding. The snow was falling so hard that it looked like our windshield would be completely buried in minutes.

"SIT DOWN!"

This time it was Leighanne. She stumbled after Brian and body tackled him to the ground. AJ started to laugh.

"I think this is going to be the best night of my life," he said.

Kev's wife Addy was the next one to lose it. One minute Kev was discussing going out and trying to get to the gas station and the next minute Addy was stripping.

"That looks like a really good idea," Liv said. I grabbed her hands just as she went for the bottom of her coat. Kev was struggling with Addy. Our eyes met.

"What's going to happen when this stuff kicks in for us?" he asked. I smiled.

"Maybe it won't kick in for AJ and me. Maybe not for you either. I mean if you can look like Snoop Dogg, maybe you can handle pot like Snoop."

"I think I'm going to be sick," I heard Molly, AJ's girlfriend, say quietly. I looked over. AJ was helping her to her feet.

"I can't feel my arms!" she moaned. "Oh fuck, I'm the worst mother in the world. Shelby's mother is a pot head. AJ, she can't eat brownies ever again, okay? Okay?"

Liv's hands were floating to my jeans. I took her hands in mine and watched AJ help Molly into the bathroom. He let her go once they were at the door and she went tumbling in.

"Fuck," he said. He stepped in and closed the door behind him.

"Nick?" Liv whispered. I looked at her. Her eyes couldn't seem to meet mine.

"What?" I whispered back.

She leaned into me. I think she was aiming for my ear, but she pretty much dived into my neck.

"I'm horny."

Now here's the thing. Under any normal circumstance I would have so loved for her to say that. But unfortunately, I was sitting in a bus that was rapidly filling with people sucumbing to the effects of the brownies and, by the way the snow was falling outside, I was pretty sure we were going to be buried alive. All they would find when they finally discovered the bus were ten frozen bodies and a half full tray of pot brownies.

"Liv," I whispered back. "That is incredibly sexy, but we need to wait until we get back to Aspen, okay?"

She looked up at me in confusion. Then she started to laugh hysterically.

"Aspen. Asssss-pen."

Brian started to laugh. "Hey, Ass-pen!"

I groaned. We had just lost another one.

"Shit, where did those colors come from?"

Leigh stood up (obviously her feet still worked, even though Howie's didn't). She reached into the air in front of her. There was nothing there.

Here's the fun thing about being one of the last to lose their mind. It's great to see how pot affects people in different way. You had Leighanne who thought she was a sumo wrestler, Addy and Liv who decided they wanted to be strippers, Howie whose feet kept going numb, Leigh who was chasing invisible rainbows, and Molly who was probably puking her guts out.

Except that the sounds coming from the bathroom did not sound like puke sounds.

They sounded like sex against the bathroom sink sounds.

"I hate to say this," Kev said. "But, I'm suddenly starving."

"There's brownies!" Liv said helpfully. She went to reach for the tray; my arms wrapped around her middle.

I hated to admit it, but my fingers felt numb.

Fuck.

"It's warm in here. Is anyone else warm in here?"

Howie stood up. Leigh looked back at him, touched his nose, and screamed.

"IT'S ON FIRE!"

At that moment I heard a loud thump from the bathroom. I was still holding Liv back. Kev was rooting through a bag looking for food. Addy, now free from Kev's grip, tossed off her boots. Bri was wrestling with Leighanne and laughing his ass off. Therefore, no one was actually capable of stopping Howie as he opened the bus door and threw himself and Leigh out.

"What's this about a fire?" AJ said. He walked out of the bathroom. His pants were around his ankles but he had at least had the decency of pulling his zebra print boxers back up. I saw a very naked arm and shoulder reach out of the bathroom after him. It reminded me of that freaky girl from The Ring.

"Nothing, Howie's hallucinating. Or something," I said. My mouth was feeling like cotton. And Liv was feeling good in my arms.

AJ said something else too, but my hearing was growing fuzzy. There was a loud moan from outside and then one of the girls inside said something about naked snow angels.

And suddenly that didn't seem like such a bad idea.

I mean, if we were going to die on a bus, at least we should die happy, right?


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