Scars Run Deep and Wide by Mare
1 by Mare
1




Happy Birthday to you!




It was a brisk fall day, the leaves were dropping off the trees in bunches and the tint of pink in the air signaled that soon, winter would make its appearance. This was classically Kevin’s favorite time of year. To him all the changes going on in the environment around him made him feel like his life wasn’t at a complete standstill and most of the time that’s how he felt, stuck.



He sighed as he sat on the park bench, eating his late lunch and sipping on his coffee. He started getting into the habit of leaving the office on his lunch breaks just so he wouldn’t feel so claustrophobic, even though sometimes he would opt to skip lunch entirely or eat really late in the day like he was now.



“Hey!” He glanced over at the sound of the familiar voice and smiled. “I thought I’d find you here.”



“You know if you guys keep finding my hiding places, I’ll have to revert to hiding under a desk or something.”



“Sorry.” Howie said sitting next to his friend and staring at random kids playing on a swing set.



“Your dad called.” Kevin rolled his eyes.



“What is it now?”



“Nick…”



At the mention of his little brother’s name, Kevin sighed, “What now?”



“They got into a huge fight and he left.”



Trying to ignore what Howie had just said, a smile ran across his face, “Do you remember when he was that small?” He asked his friend pointing over to the child who was bouncing a ball, so innocent and carefree.



Howie smiled and nodded, “Yup seems like only yesterday actually.” But to Kevin it seemed like ages ago.



So much had happened to them, especially his baby brother and those things brought about huge scars that ran deep and wide. Some things they had been able to bounce back from, like the kidnapping, AJ’s shooting and the reappearance of their father. Some things they had not.



“Today was her birthday.”



“Pardon?”



Kevin spoke a little louder this time, “My mother… today was her birthday.”



“Oh, I didn’t know…I’m sorry.”



“Don’t be, I mean it’s been about 7 years now, how would you remember something like that?”



“Because I loved her Kevin. I loved her very much.”



“Yeah…so did I.” He still had a hard time talking about her death. Even after all these years, without getting all choked up.



Everything was perfect, his family back as a unit after eight years being apart only for it to be taken away in the blink of an eye. That’s what it felt like, to him anyway. He had walked back inside after saying goodbye to Howie’s then girlfriend Ariana, he had glanced at his parents and smiled as they danced around the kitchen like two big goofballs and he was heading up the stairs to resume the brotherly bonding he had left, when he heard his father let out a cry of distress.



One word “NO!” He still heard it when he went to sleep sometimes, the sound of his father screaming that word as he laid his wife down on the ground.



She died on the way to the hospital; she never had a chance the paramedics had told them as they all stood huddled next to each other like a pack of lion cubs desperately in need of their mother.



Funny how a fire which by all means should have done her in, didn’t, yet it was maybe too much cholesterol and not enough exercise at the end of the day that really did it.



Nicky didn’t understand what was going on, he thought maybe they were all playing some kind of joke on him, after all he did just get his mother back, why on earth would God take her away again?



His cries were even worse than his father’s. The sound of a child crying for its mother far outweighed all the times he had heard the opposite happen. Especially when working on that baby killer case.



After finding out about his mother, Nicky clung onto Kevin’s waist so tightly that at one point it made him nauseous. Finally he was able to pry his little hands apart and carried him the rest of the way to the car.



Brian and AJ were numb and silent for the entire drive home as was their father, who kept saying, “Okay…everything will be okay.”



But that was a lie.



“Do you think that’s why Nick left?”



Kevin coming back from his memories glanced over at Howie who was staring back at him intently, “Maybe…it’s probably got something to do with the both of them. Did he say what happened?”



Howie shook his head, “Just that he got really mad about something and stormed out of the house. He was hoping he’d end up on your doorstep.”



“I doubt that. Maybe AJ’s but not mine.”



“I guess your dad called him as well as Brian.”



“Where is B? I thought he was shadowing you today.”



“He’s with Rob.”



“Oh…okay I guess I’ll call my dad back then.”



“Hey…look over there.” Howie said motioning for Kevin to look over at the swings, and there sitting on one while kicking dirt around was his little brother. “Seems like he did come to you after all.”



Kevin nodded and started walking over towards his brother, “Tell them I’ll be back in a little late.”



“I will.”



When Nick saw his brother approach he glanced up, “Hi.”



Kevin sat on the swing right next to Nick, “Hey buddy…so, what’s going on? Dad said you left.” When he glanced at his brother, for a second he was transported back to the time when Nicky was so small he could fit on only one of Kevin’s legs. That child was gone, now replaced with a boy who was growing by leaps and bounds, slowly becoming a man. Everyday he was getting a little taller and now he was almost to Kevin’s shoulders. Soon, he would bypass both AJ and Brian in height.



“I hate him Kevin.”



“Don’t say that, you know you don’t mean that.”



“I do mean it, I hate him. Can’t I live with you?”



“Nick, life’s too short to say stuff like…”



Nick got off the swing, “If you are going to lecture me, just save it. I thought we could just talk.”



“Okay, I’m sorry…come back here and sit.”



Nick thought about it for a few seconds and then walked over to the swing and sat back down, much to the relief of Kevin. The fifteen year old had run away from home about five times this year alone. He was afraid that the next time, they’d never be able to find him.



Once the blonde sat down, Kevin softly continued, “So what happened this time? Why did you leave?”



“He doesn’t understand me.”



“Nick he’s trying the best he can.”



“Well that’s not good enough.”



“It’s going to have to be.”



“It’s not fair.”



“Why doesn’t he understand you?”



“He just doesn’t.”



“There has to be a reason.”



“I got caught skipping school.”



“Nickolas!”



“What? Everyone does it Kev.”



“So what?”



“I’m sure you did too.”



“That’s beside the point; you shouldn’t be doing stuff like that.”



“He told me I was grounded for a month, just for skipping school!”



“Mom would have made it longer.” Kevin wished he hadn’t said those words, but they just came out so naturally he didn’t have a chance to stop himself.



“I woke up this morning and couldn’t remember what she looked like.” Nick said, once again hanging his head down as he gently rocked himself on the swing, “I mean I know what she looks like because of the pictures on the wall, but if it wasn’t for those…I’m forgetting her Kevin.”



Kevin placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder, “You’ll never forget her Nick. Do you want to go visit her today?”



He nodded silently looking away so Kevin couldn’t see the tears coming down his cheeks. “We will then, when I get off work, okay?”



“Kev, can I stay at your place tonight?”



“Of course you can.”



“Thanks”



“But promise me no more running away.”



“I promise.”



“Good,” Kevin reached over and tousled his brother’s hair to which the youngest Richardson recoiled.



“Kevin quit it!”



“Sorry buddy.”



“You should call dad and let him know you’re okay.”



“He won’t care…”



“Of course he will; he’s worried. He called me looking for you.”



“He’ll probably ground me for two months now.”



“He might.”



“Tell him you said I can stay with you tonight okay?”



“Sure thing buddy…now go home. I’ll come and get you after work.”



Nicky nodded at his big brother and got on his skateboard and headed for home, much to the relief of the oldest Richardson who sighed as his brother turned the corner. “So much for a peaceful lunch,” he said to himself as he ventured back into the building.



Brian was sitting on Kevin’s desk waiting for him, “Nicky is missing again.”



“I found him.”



“Wow that was fast.”



“He was outside, dad grounded him yadda yadda yadda...” Brian nodded and quickly got off his brother’s desk when he received a glare of disapproval.



“I should call AJ, he was worried.”



“Good idea, I thought you were working under Rob today.”



“I was but he went home early so he said I could do the same.”



“Nice.”



“I wanted to know if you wanted to grab a pizza after work. I could meet you at your place.”



“That’s actually a great idea, Nick is staying the night.”



“He is?”



“Yeah, after work we’re going to go see mom. You’re welcome to come along.”



“Maybe I will.”



“I think it would be good for him.”



“What about dad?” Kevin thought about that for a second. Kevin senior after his wife died, basically became a ‘Mister Mom.’ Nicky was having a very hard time with everything after Jackie’s death and that included major separation anxiety, so the patriarch of the family made the decision to just stay at home, do research for the office while Nicky was in school and get paid that way.



“I have a feeling he’ll want to go do that alone.”



Brian nodded, “Oh and before I forget to tell you, Rob said you have a new case tomorrow. Something about two killings that were very similar. He thinks we may have a serial killer on our hands again.”



“Great…”



“And he said I can work on the case with you.”



“NO way…” Kevin said letting out a little laugh.



“Kevin I’ve been here for almost an entire year…you know I’m ready for field work.”



“Not for something like this.”



“You were doing this at my age.”



“Yeah, well that was different.”



“I’m going and you can’t stop me. Rob gave me the assignment.”



Brian was right and Kevin knew it, but still he hated the idea of his brother being so close to danger. After making the announcement that he was interested in law enforcement, his older brother tried everything he could to deter him from that field. The high school senior would have none of that though so in the fall after graduation, he entered the Police Academy and quickly showed everyone just how serious he was.



He graduated top in his class, exactly what Kevin had done.



After that he trained for two years in special operations and was hired by Rob’s office two days shy of his 24th birthday. Since then he has been shadowing agents, never really going into dangerous situations but observing.



“Fine but if he gives me the case, you have to listen to everything I say.”



“You know I will.”



“Good, now get out of here and get us a pizza. Come by my place in about an hour or so.”



“Should I go pick up Nick?”



“Maybe, because I’m afraid he might bail on dad again.”



Brian nodded, “Okay…what about J?”



“He’s on duty tonight I believe.”



AJ also went into civil service which kind of took the Richardons by surprise. He was never one to really be big on rules and following them which was evident when on his 18th birthday he got his first of what was to be many tattoos.



Where his two older brothers decided on law, he decided he wanted to do something different so he became a fireman. Just like his two older brothers though, he graduated top in his class.



He was assigned to a firehouse about three blocks away from his father’s new place and quickly put a down payment on an apartment in the same building that both Kevin and Brian resided in. This did not please Nick who all but had a nervous breakdown when AJ said he was moving out. That’s when the fighting began to escalate between the youngest in the family and their father.



Truthfully, AJ joining the fire department scared Kevin more than Brian becoming an FBI agent because at least with the latter, he could keep an eye on him. There was no way he could do the same for Alex and that thought scared him on a daily basis.



Ironically Kevin and Nick had the same separation anxiety issues, only difference being that the older one was far better at hiding it then the younger one. They both felt the same way about things though. The only way Kevin’s mind was at ease was when he knew exactly where his family was at all times.



The rest of the day was a blur for Kevin; he tried to keep himself as busy as possible, finishing the last reports on his current case before closing it for good. Whenever he had a second to stop and think his mind raced back to thoughts of his mother. He missed her so much and sometimes even tried to convince himself that just like their father, his mother wasn’t actually dead but in hiding somewhere. It made it all a little easier.



Even though he knew that in this case, it wasn’t true.



“Hey you…” Kevin glanced over at his door as Howie was putting on his jacket.



“You going?”



“Yeah, we have some kind of party to go to and you’re welcome to join us you know. I’m sure there are plenty of single ladies that will be there.”



Kevin laughed, “Why is it your mission to hook me up?”



“It’s not mine, it’s my wife’s. I only go along because I am dreadfully jealous that you still have your freedom.”



“Well thanks for the invite, but we have something to do today as a family. Give Ariana my love though and tell her one of these days, I’ll go on one of those blind dates she always tries to set me up on.”



Howie laughed and headed out the door towards his wife who was waiting at her desk patiently for him. Kevin waved at them both; he was so happy that Howie found someone like Ariana. She was perfect for him and their relationship truly started to blossom shortly after his mother’s death.



Kevin meanwhile just distanced himself from any female contact; he felt like a jinx and with his job being as dangerous as it was, he knew he couldn’t afford to put anyone’s life in danger anymore. Even if that meant living a life alone, he’d get a cat and it would be all good.



When he made it home he found Brian and Nick on his couch watching television and waiting for him, Brian sipping on a beer and Nick chugging a Coke. The scene reminded him briefly of all the times AJ and Brian would venture to his apartment to get away from his mother’s nagging, now he would give anything to hear her voice, telling him what needed to be done and why.



“You started eating without me?” Kevin asked bating at Nick’s feet that were resting on the coffee table.



“We were hungry, but never fear we bought two of them. I have the other one in your oven warming.”



“How nice of you.”



“And AJ said he’d meet us at the graveyard. He’ll be off duty in about an hour.”



Kevin nodded and popped open his own can of beer. “Good.”



They sat and watched a rerun of Cheers while they ate, before finally heading off to the graveyard, the same one they had buried their father in so long ago, the same one they had buried John Nicosia in the day their mother died.



The chill in the air in the afternoon only intensified now that the sun was just about set. As they ventured out of Kevin’s car, they saw AJ leaning against his car waiting for them. He had just gotten off work and looked incredibly tired.



“Hey guys.”



They all exchanged hellos, “And you…you scare me like that again and I’ll kick your ass boy!” AJ pointed his finger at their youngest brother. Ever since Nicky was taken out of the house from AJ 7 years ago, he has been extremely protective of the youngest, perhaps even more so than Kevin sometimes.



The two of them were very close and for that Kevin was grateful.



“Sorry, I was mad at dad.” Nick replied rolling his eyes at the fireman.



“Well next time be mad but stay home and do it.”



“Yeah maybe you should just run out and get a tattoo or something.” Brian kidded to which AJ stuck his middle finger up.



“Come on…” Kevin motioned for his brothers to follow him up the long hill that led to their mother’s grave.



Once they reached the top Kevin smiled when he saw his father standing there, his hand resting on his wife’s tombstone as he used his other hand to place a bouquet of roses down on the ground.



“For you sweetheart, Happy Birthday, I love you and miss you so much.” When he saw his sons, he wiped away a tear and turned to meet them.



“I knew I’d find you here.” Kevin said to his dad as they got close. He grabbed his father into a warm hug before walking over to the grave and squatting down.



Kevin senior took turns grabbing each one of his children into an embrace except for Nick who pushed him away. He was upset by that but decided not to pursue it for now. There would be time to mend hurt feelings later, for now they were here for only one reason and that was for the woman they all loved so much.



As they all stood around her grave, they remained silent, each speaking to her in their own way, straight from the heart with no need of voices.



It was Nick who was the first to speak, simply singing the song Happy Birthday as he laid a card and an envelope down beside the roses his father had given to his mom. He did the same every year, always bringing her a card and singing her a song as his big brothers watched, getting all teary eyed as they did.



This time they all joined in though, singing Happy Birthday to the woman they all called mother. Kevin senior couldn’t do it; he couldn’t find his voice so he just stood there and listened.



There was someone else listening too, they were unaware of her presence but she was there, watching and smiling.

I hope you guys enjoy this one. Let me know what you think :O) I'll be back next Friday with chapter two. Yay for new stories lol


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