Once In A Blue Moon by summer
Chapter Seventeen by summer
Author's Notes:
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Sunday, I called Dianna to see if we could reschedule. Of course she was fine with that and even finer with it when she found out who I was spending the day with. I had to promise to call her with all the sordid details of course, but I didn’t intend to. What was happening between Alex and me I wanted to keep between us. There was something there and until I was confident I knew what it was, I didn’t want to go running my mouth about it. Part of me also felt that the bond we were slowly forming was too special at the moment to gossip about. Dianna would just have to wait.

Alex made us breakfast after we finally met downstairs in the kitchen close to 11am. I shuffled in with a freshly washed face and dressed in clean clothes to find him already scrambling eggs and flipping pancakes. He still wore the pajama pants and I paused a moment to admire how they hung on his frame. A blush crept over my cheeks as he glanced to me and I quickly looked away.

“How’d you sleep?” He questioned as he took some plates from the cabinet and set them on the counter.

I slipped onto a stool there at the counter. “Once I finally fell asleep, pretty well.”

“Yeah, I finally drifted off eventually as well.”

“That bed in your guestroom is really comfy. It felt like I was lying on a cloud.”

“You think that one’s nice, you oughta try my bed.” He glanced my way as he piled our plates with food.

“Is it like sleeping on a cloud?”

“It’s like sleeping on a dozen clouds.” He set my plate in front of me then moved to his fridge. “Whatcha wanna drink?”

“Um, do you have apple juice?”

“I do.”

“Great, thank you.” I unfolded a napkin in my lap then took my fork. “This looks and smells really good.”

“I hope you like it.” He slid a glass of apple juice in front of me then took his own spot on the stool next to mine.

I began to butter the toast and glanced over to him, making a face at the ketchup he was squirting onto his eggs. “Ew.”

He looked to me. “What? This?” He motioned towards the concoction and chuckled when I gave a nod. “Have you ever tried it?”

A shudder ran down my back. “No. My husband would eat it that way too, sometimes and always try to get me—” I stopped mid sentence. I hadn’t meant to let anything slip out about Hugh.

Alex didn’t seem fazed. “I think your husband had very good taste.”

I wet my bottom lip and studied the food on my plate, not feeling very hungry anymore. “Yeah…”

“I mean, he liked ketchup on scrambled eggs…and he married you.”

My head snapped in his direction and I found him watching me with an amused expression.

“I like you, Morgan. I think that much is very obvious.”

I could only nod. “It… is.”

“Good.” He smirked then turned back to his food.

“But ketchup on eggs is not good taste.”

“Depends on who you ask.”

“Me, and I say no.”

He chuckled and emphasized his own point by taking a big bite of the food, giving an ‘mmm’ as he ate it.

I couldn’t help but giggle then took a mouthful of my plain eggs, giving an ‘mmm’ of my own.

“You should really try this,” Alex encouraged after wiping his mouth. Quickly, he swiped the ketchup and was holding it over my eggs in a threatening manner.

“Nooo!” I laughed low and tried to cover the plate. “Don’t you dare!”

“Aww, what’s wrong? It’s just a little ketchup.” He shook the bottle some.

I laughed and tried to pull my plate away. “No, I like my eggs plain.”

“Alright,” he conceded and returned the ketchup back to its rightful spot, “You don’t want to try a new thing, that’s fine with me.”

I watched him, trying to decide if he was still being playful. “It’s not about trying new things; it’s about finding something you like and sticking with it.”

“Sometimes it’s good to broaden your horizons.”

“Oh believe me,” I stirred my fork around in the eggs, “I’ve broadened my horizons plenty these last few years.”

He gave a shrug and returned to his food. “So, tell me what he was like.”

I blinked, my head turning in his direction. “Why?”

A shrug, “Just curious; I’m sure he was an amazing guy.”

I wet my bottom lip, wondering why he was so interested in finding out about Hugh. “He was.”

“What’d he do?”

“Excuse me?”

His penetrating eyes met mine. “His job, a career. What was it?”

I felt a little sense of relief washing over me. I had for a split second thought Alex was asking me how he had passed. “Oh. He was a sports writer.”

“Was he any good?”

I had moved my gaze back upon my plate of food, not feeling very hungry anymore. “One of the best; he’d won a few awards.”

“Ooh, sounds like he knew his stuff.”

“He really did.”

We were quiet for a few moments then Alex spoke again.

“What did he look like?”

I felt a small lump forming in my throat. “Um, you know, I don’t think I’m really comfortable talking about this with you yet.”

His dark head gave a nod and he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I can respect that.”

“Thank you.” I was now just stirring the food around on the plate.

There was another moment of silence and I managed to nibble on the toast, the crumbs feeling like sawdust in my throat.

“Can I ask you a question?”

I glanced over to find those soul stirring eyes upon me. The moment they met mine, something twinged familiarly in my chest. “…what’s that?” For some reason my heart was beginning to pound in my ears.

He just watched me a moment, his eyes searching my face before speaking, “Why are you holding onto him so tightly?”

I felt a pressure spreading slowly through my chest. “Wh…what?”

“Morgan,” he reached over and plucked the fork from my hand before clasping it with both of his, “holding onto what you have gone through, and him, is not healthy.”

My brows furrowed. “Are you saying I’m not healthy?”

“No, baby,” he pulled my hand to his mouth and pressed his lips to my knuckles, “but you don’t move forward by holding onto the past.”

“Who says I want to move forward!” The words came out harsher than I had intended, but I didn’t back down.

He didn’t seem fazed, however. “Don’t you want to? Why cling to the pain? Yesterday is gone, Morgan. All that’s left is today and tomorrow. Why are you holding onto something that is hurting you so much?”

I gave a sigh, not having the energy to get into this emotional conversation with him once more. “Why do we have to analyze and figure it out? Can’t we just be?”

He arched a single brow. “Is that what you want? To just…be?”

My eyes pleaded with him to just let it go. “Yes.”

He gave a nod then reached up and cupped my face, drawing me towards him. I hardly had time to even blink before his mouth was covering mine.

The kiss was soft, but was fueled by something deeper, and as his lips claimed mine, I felt a hard shiver run right through me. He had caught me off guard and made quite sure my head was spinning before I had time to recover and realize what he was doing. His mouth nibbled at mine and he teased his tongue at my lower lip, sucking it gently into his mouth then letting it free before kissing me like that all over again.

I could feel the heat that was slowly starting to work its way up through me, and as he intensified the kiss, and swept his tongue into my mouth, I felt that part of me that I had long forgotten, the part I had locked away start to reveal itself. It was what made me a woman, what drew two people together, the very core of oneself. Sexuality; raw and pure. I had pushed it away after Hugh’s death and now this man was slowly revealing it to me again.

His tongue was teasing mine as he kissed the very breath from my body. One hand smoothed into my hair and he tangled his fingers in it, the other ghosting along the side of my neck, sending goosebumps racing along my skin. I felt the small fire low in my belly and groaned softly against his mouth. Inside my chest my heart was beating a mile a minute and echoing in my ears. I was sure he could hear it and when his fingers tightened in my hair and he kissed me with a harder, unbridled passion, I knew he could.

His mouth seemed to devour mine, heat seeping into and slowly filling me. He was pulling me closer and closer to that line and I was dangerously close to crossing it. I could feel the simmering inside, the urges and needs he was stirring up were starting to come to life and I knew if I didn’t get away, if I didn’t squelch them, they would soon rage out of control. But I was powerless to stop him; he consumed me, pulled me under and wrapped me in all that was him. He was surrounding me; his scent, his taste, his sound, all that was Alex. It made my head spin and the pounding of my heart echoed loudly in my ears.

Finally, he pulled back, his hand still tangled in my hair, our mouths inches apart.

My chest gave sharp heaves and my eyelids fluttered, but stayed closed. I wasn’t even going to attempt to think yet.

When he spoke, his voice was low and thick and full of desire and want. “You still want to just …be?”

I couldn’t speak; I was barely able to manage a small squeak. My lids fluttered and then slowly opened and I had to blink them a few times to clear the blurry haze that had taken over my vision. It had just been a kiss, but it had shaken me to my very core, and as his face cleared and our eyes met, I knew nothing was going to be the same between us.

“I could kiss you until our breath becomes one,” He spoke low again and his words sent chills through me.

I didn’t know quite what to say, and for once I didn’t have any concrete thoughts.

He must have sensed that, because he gave a low chuckle and finally smoothed his hand from my hair, brushing my neck and collarbone before pulling it away. “You okay?”

I gave a little nod; at least I thought I was okay.

Those mesmerizing eyes bore into mine. “Did I kiss you speechless?” He chuckled low at that and took my hand, pressing his lips to my knuckles.

He must have, because I had nothing; no words, no thoughts, nada. That was a first.

His lips curved into a slow, sexy smirk. “If I had known kissing you would make you speechless, I’d have done it a long time ago.”

I blushed and pushed at his shoulder gently. “Shush.”

He laughed and caught my hand. “It’s true; I haven’t had a reaction like that from a girl in a long time.”

“You go around kissing a lot of girls?” I lifted a brow.

“Ooh, she speaks.”

I giggled low, “Hush.”

He wouldn’t let me pull my hand away. “You hush.”

“I already did.”

“Heh, I should kiss you again.”

“It’s not too late for me to call Dianna back and meet her for shopping.”

He laughed low at that, arching his brows. “You wouldn’t.”

I eyed him. “Try me and find out.”

“It might be worth it.”

I giggled and finally got my hand back, sitting back on my stool and putting some space between us. “I think my breakfast is cold.”

He let me change the subject and offered to heat it up for me, but I declined. Who liked reheated scrambled eggs? Not me.

We made it through the rest of breakfast without incident and then cleaned the kitchen together. Alex tried to stop me, but I threatened to douse him with the sprayer attached to the sink and he finally obliged.

Afterward, we lounged on his sofa, just making it a lazy Sunday afternoon. Those were the best kind though; just chilling and relaxing, not a care in the world. At least pretending there wasn’t a care in the world. He put the TV onto some movie channel and National Lampoon’s Vacation, starring Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid, was soon playing on the screen. Not my favorite, but humorous enough to watch.

It kept us entertained though and by the end of the movie, I was curled up against Alex, my head tucked against his chest and his arm around me, absentmindedly twirling my hair with his fingers. I don’t think either of us really noticed how we had ended up snuggled together, but it was nice and I felt protected and wanted, maybe even a little needed.

The credits began rolling across the screen and I smoothed my fingers over the skin on his chest. “Chevy Chase is so annoying.”

He tilted his head and looked down to me. “You don’t like Chevy Chase?”

I gave a shrug. “He’s okay, just…annoying in those National Lampoon movies.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. We didn’t have to watch it. You shoulda said something.”

“No,” I shook my head and lifted it from him, meeting his gaze, “I don’t mind watching it; he just annoys me.”

A grin tugged at his lips and he reached his hand up, brushing some hair from my face. “What kind of movies do you like?”

“I don’t really have a favorite genre. I can watch anything from comedies to dramas to suspense.”

“Horrors?”

I made a cute little face. “Sometimes. They freak me out, but I can stomach ‘em.”

He chuckled, “Next time we’ll watch something scary.”

I giggled lowly, “You just want me all close and hanging onto you.”

“Mhmm, that’s exactly what I want.” He wiggled his brows at me and pulled me closer.

I laughed and settled against his chest again. “I need to go home eventually and let Daisy out. She probably needs to pee something awful.”

“Ooh,” He made a little face. “You want me to take you on home?”

I glanced up at him, knowing I needed to, but not sure if I wanted to. “Do….you want to come with?”

He lifted his brows. “To your place?”

“Yeah,” I shrugged, “you don’t have to; you’re probably getting tired of me, huh?”

“No, baby,” he smoothed his fingers through my hair, “I don’t think I could ever get tired of you.”

“Oh yeah right,” I chuckled and sat up straight, watching him.

A teasing grin tugged at his lips. “Well, at least not for a long, long while.”

I giggled then kissed his cheek and pulled myself up from the couch. “Lemme go get my things and we can go if you want to.”

“Sure.” He pushed himself up and grabbed the remote, shutting the television off. “I gotta go change, but I’ll meet you down here in a few minutes.”

“Kay.” I watched him with a cute grin as he tossed the remote back onto the sofa then strolled from the room.

Following him, we made our way up the stairs then parted ways at the bedrooms. I moved into the guest room and gathered my bag, doing a once over and making sure I had everything. I didn’t know if Alex was going to come on over to my place and stay awhile, but he hadn’t said he wouldn’t. Something had changed last night after that kiss in the living room and then again in the kitchen. I couldn’t explain what I was thinking or feeling, but I didn’t sense the same caution or hesitances I’ve had sense Hugh’s death. In fact, Alex made me feel calm and happy and wanted.

I had no idea what was going to happen between us, or how far it would go or how serious it would get, but I knew I wanted to be around him. If I let myself dwell on my deceased husband I knew those old feelings would creep back in. So, I had to make sure I didn’t. I didn’t want to feel that loneliness or sadness that his memories filled me with. I needed to start learning how to honor his memory and not let it seclude me from all of my family and friends. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy road to travel and that along the way I would probably have plenty of setbacks, but I had to start somewhere.

I wanted to learn how to live again and I was hoping that Alex would show me. Maybe angels were real after all.

 



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