Date: 07/16/14 01:48 am Title: Chapter 2
Well, since you acknowledged in your chapter end notes that the action didn't quite start yet in this chapter, I'll comment a little on the writing. Your writing is very good. You have a good balance between description and dialogue, and the guys are getting characterized well Nick the most, of course, since he's the narrator. The only concrit I have is that there are a lot of run-on sentences-- where commas are used where periods should be. I can definitely look past that, since the writing is otherwise so good.
Author's Response: Thanks for the concrit, yes I guess I could've used less commas, but hope the sentences aren't overly long. Glad you can look past that :)
Date: 09/18/11 10:35 pm Title: Chapter 2
I dunno how I feel about this Duncan guy, but we'll see, lol.
Author's Response:
He's a bit too excited about the whole thing, lol
Date: 07/16/11 05:46 am Title: Chapter 2
I like how this is written from Nick's perspective. You have an easy flow in this style.
Author's Response:
Thanks, I'm glad it seems to be flowing OK and that you're enjoying it.
Date: 07/10/11 05:51 pm Title: Chapter 2
Yay for another chapter! I'm excited for the action to begin in the next one, but this was good set up for what's to come. I'm guessing Duncan James is a real person? I haven't heard of him, but seems like it from the way you described him. That roller coaster show sounds like it'd be fun LOL. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Duncan is a real person, he's in the British boyband Blue (not sure if you know of them) but also a TV presenter. That roller coaster show is real too, although I've never watched it, only seen clips of it advertised, but it does look like fun! Thanks for reading Julie, glad you enjoyed.
Date: 07/10/11 05:46 pm Title: Chapter 2
I'm so happy to see an update so soon Steph! Can't wait to see all the action!
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading Mare, the action is not too far away and I love what I've got planned for them!
