Date: 10/22/11 06:14 pm Title: Chapter 2
I think if you dumb Nick's pov down just a hair it would feel more... like its a true life recall... if that makes sence but yeah... Hot again. I didn't want it to end!
Maybe a lil AJ/Bri in the future?
Author's Response:
Yeah it makes sense, I had to re-read it a couple of times to understand but now it makes sense...I ended it because I just wanted to test the waters first and read peoples feedbacks before I dived into more, I don't want to continue if it's terrible....
MAYBE an AJ/Bri story, we'll see....
Date: 10/22/11 06:12 pm Title: Chapter 1
I think you coulda made AJ feel a little more like AJ when he is speaking or describing things but the chapter itself was just... hot! Wow!
Author's Response:
Okay, thank you for reading and I totally understand what you mean....I will try better next time...thank you SO much for giving your opinion, it will help me next time!
Date: 10/21/11 09:23 pm Title: Chapter 2
Much better I think. It felt like it flowed a lot more. The detailing was great. I'm thrilled to see there is finally slash other then my own on here to read! Please keep writing slash fiction. You'll have a reader outta me!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the compliments and the advice! I think I'm reading yours....This story is done for now until I get inspiration or another idea, I plan on writing more though...
Date: 10/18/11 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
The plot line is great. I think your fiction could be improved by finding multiple ways of explaining things and describing them. Try not to say the same thing twice. Also, watch how you word things... from the grammar side. Otherwise I think you show great promse at being an amazing slash writer!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the advice. I will try my best to take this advice as I go write the second chapter.
Date: 10/15/11 02:20 am Title: Chapter 1
mmm I like it...
Author's Response:
There will be a chapter two...so hopefully it will be okay as well...
