Date: 07/30/14 09:44 am Title: Chapter 23
I thought I'd just go ahead and finish things up so a bonus review for you both. Well, AJ did what I thought he was going to do which left me with an oogey feeling. I'm happy you guys decided to get on track with updating this again. I know people who enjoy AU and sci-fi will love this one! Best of luck!! :O)
Author's Response: we have our reasons for what he did...muahahahahahaha
Date: 07/30/14 09:38 am Title: Chapter 22
I was hoping AJ wasn't going to do what he was about to do and then at the end I'm hoping AJ won't do what I know he'll do. Stupid girls always get in the way of things. lol
Author's Response: Yes, stupid girls always ruin things don't they lol. Thanks Mare :)
Date: 07/29/14 11:39 am Title: Chapter 21
Wow, so they really built this town up with streets and buildings? That's not at all what I had pictured in my head. Too bad Kevin didn't just kill Brian while he was only guarded by two men. AJ's going to do something dumb, I can feel it. LOL
Author's Response: It is a well built up unknown little town, except we the Luminary and some of the guards know about it... heh. We have to have someone do something dumb right? do we get kudos for not making it Nick?
Date: 07/21/14 09:05 am Title: Chapter 20
Oh, so it was Howie that went back to Endwise and Brian who stayed? For whatever reason, I thought it was the other way around. Now that makes a lot more sense. I want to kick AJ lol Also enjoyed seeing a funeral through their eyes for the first time.
I'm going to Buffalo tomorrow so I won't be back reading until I get home. Maybe by then you'll have another chapter up! :O)
Author's Response: Hope you have a great time in Buffalo :)
Date: 07/20/14 09:40 am Title: Chapter 19
I can completely see Kevin being the teacher and making them observe before they try to kill, that's very Kevin. I am happy that the other three decided they didn't enjoy hunting. *shudders* that's one of the things I like to call my run away while you can traits while looking for a man. If I find out they are hunters, automatic turnoff. lol
That being said, I kind of wish that Emma would have been hit in the head with an arrow because this little love triangle...Oh, AJ! The thought of AJ even trying to hunt cracked me up. I would say AJ needs to be hit in the head with an arrow but I need the boys alive so it's Emma that has to go!
Author's Response: Yes, I agree on the hunting thing lol. Luckily hunting isn't really something that's done over here. AJ would not be a very good hunter would he? lol
Date: 07/19/14 09:59 am Title: Chapter 18
Ah, hunting time. And I am reading this story at ungodly hours of the morning, so I might not completely comprehend some things fully or miss details etc...I'm not sure if you guys had said Kevin founded the village but that's how I understood it, so if I'm wrong I apologize. So saying that, I thought that Brian went back to Endwise and left Howie in charge of finding the escapees? Maybe I just need to read later in the day. lol
Author's Response: Oh, I hope we made sense in this. I often can't take things in at certain times of the day either.
Date: 07/18/14 09:01 am Title: Chapter 17
I love level headed thinker, Nick. Very smart realization that Emma would be dead if she went back. Glad he wasn't all "Yeah well if you go I'll go too!" I always enjoy when stories stay away from cliches! As long as AJ doesn't go now because he feels he has nothing to live for in Endwise so he'll sacrifice himself
I have another question, I know you guys are probably sick of my questions but the thing I'm confused about that maybe I'm just asking too soon, if Kevin is the one that founded that village, where did all the other people come from? I know most had never even been in Endwise and a lot are clearly older than Kevin. It made me think there was a civilization out there long before Kevin got to that village. And if Brian knows where Kevin is, how come they bothered to search for the escapees? Because most likely they would end up at the village, right?
And yes, Lore you should check out The 100. I think it's a show you'd actually really enjoy. I was on the fence about it at first but it managed to suck me in. It's very sci fi/fantasy apocalyptic. It's not completely similar to this but the whole concept of experiencing outside for the first time and learning how to survive is the same.
Author's Response: Well it would be stupid if they went back eh? I didn't think we insinuated that Kevin founded the village did we? if we led it that way I apologize as I don't think we intended that. Kevin found the village already they, they took him in and then the Luminary found Kevin and the village and struck that deal. I think they searched for the escappees in hopes of catching them before they could have a chance to reach Kevin and the village. They might not have made it there either if the three had gone a different direction they might have missed the village altogether. I'll have to look into that show.
Date: 07/17/14 09:22 am Title: Chapter 16
Aww, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to know who Mary is. I'm thinking she's the equivalent to those expendable Star Trek characters? The ones in the red shirts or something like that. I'm not a Star Trek fan but I do recall stories of characters wearing a certain colored shirt were pretty much only created to die. LOL Anyway...I'm sad to see she didn't survive. Even though you didn't mention what happened to the baby, I'm assuming it didn't make it either. It was a good way to show how they do need the technology that Endwise provided for everyone and would be a good selling point for Emma.
So is Kristen pregnant? Because that's the only thing that confused me in this chapter. Is she five months pregnant now or was Kevin talking about when he first got there?
Author's Response: I'm not sure who she is either lol, I need to re-read the story but have been away for a couple of weeks with no internet. I'll get back to you on the Kristen thing too as I can't remember that either. I'm not much use am I lol
Date: 07/16/14 07:26 am Title: Chapter 15
I loved the beginning bit about the windows.
Have either of you seen the WB show The 100? This story also reminds me of that. I know your story actually came first but you should watch it. You'd probably get a kick out of the similarities.
Author's Response: I've never seen that show, I don't think I've even heard of it. That's funny that it's similar, I'll have to look into it. I'm glad you liked the bit about the windows. :) (Lore)
Date: 07/15/14 08:45 am Title: Chapter 14
Aww I really liked this chapter a lot. In fact I think this has been my favorite one so far. You guys are great when it comes to descriptions of the outside world. Loved the village you created here. Nice to see Kristin is Kristin. And I would love to find out how Brian ended up as the Luminary and if he was originally a villager.
Author's Response: Aw thanks Mare, we're glad you're enjoying it and like the world we created for them. I'm going to be chatting with Lore when I'm back from my holiday and we'll be finally getting back to writing this, I'm so excited as this is a story I've really enjoyed writing so far :)
Date: 07/14/14 08:13 am Title: Chapter 13
I love how all the girls (all two of them) take notice of Nick. Poor AJ and his junior high crush. So, I have to ask what made you guys decide to make Howie a guard instead of putting him at the camp? And are we ever going to see Howie be Howie just a little bit personality wise? Because right now the only thing that is making Howie, Howie is his name. Just wondering if his character is going to be developed to the point where I can say "Okay he's a bad character because he's under the Luminary's power but there's Howie!" Maybe now that he's being left in charge he'll start figuring out what's what.
I am deeply enjoying your descriptions of life on the outside and how innocent and child like they all seem to be. I'm also glad you brought up the one child thing because I was going to ask about that and how if they constantly were executed how they were going to keep that up. and final LOL at 40 being SO old!
Author's Response: Glad you are liking the descriptions of life outside. They were difficult at times since we are familiar with life as we know it and have to think about things if we were to experience them for the first time as adults. Howie...Howie...Howie.... you will just have to read and see what goes on with him...
Date: 07/13/14 08:26 am Title: Chapter 12
Oh yes to a tall, dark and handsome shirtless Kevin. With long hair non-the- less! It's so obvious you are a Kevin girl just by that description. I actually laughed when I read it. So now I know for certain that Brian is the Lumimary, unless he's at the camp which I'm holding out hope is going to happen. IN a perfect fanfic world,that job should have been relegated to Lou. He would have made the perfect Luminary. Once again, I loved the descriptions of how they felt walking through the woods and feeling the sun. Nick would burn instead of tan. I am glad they didn't encounter a lion or tiger. This story would have been a lot shorter if that had been the case. "Aww how cute let me pet it..." The End! LMAO Hope you're enjoying your weekend away with Tim!
Author's Response: LOL was I that obvious by the description of Kevin? I don't think we even considered Lou when writing this story, I suppose he would've made a good Luminary, but we liked our choice :) Hehehe, imagine Nick and a lion or tiger, that's exactly what he would've done! Had a lovely weekend with Tim's family, thanks. Hope you had a good weekend too :)
Date: 07/12/14 08:42 am Title: Chapter 11
I kind of pictured big round furballs so Nick's name for the furry animals seems very appropriate. And way to be uber creepy AJ. lol
Steph, just so you know when you left your response to me, you actually didn't respond but left a review for your story. It looks like you did that for Save a Prayer too. Just know we don't get those notifications. We'll only get them if you hit response. :O)
Author's Response: About the review thing, I was doing it from my phone and thought I'd hit the reply button and not review, how weird! I hate having to do things on my phone, it's so awkward, but luckily I've got my laptop right now. I'll have to delete that review and do it as a response :)
Date: 07/11/14 08:24 am Title: Chapter 10
Before I review this chapter I wanted to just go back and respond to what Lore said at the end of the last chapter. As far as the Lumianry having a vehicle, that completely didn't come across while reading that chapter which is why I was confused with how quickly the guards got to Nick so fast without explanation. The reason I didn't think there would be a car is because they all seemed so sensitive to their surroundings, you would think the sound of a vehicle would have made them notice something was going on. Whether they knew what that sounded like or not. I felt like there was some kind of hole right there since it had been made such a big deal that they were already far enough away that they had stopped beeping. You might want to include a scene where the Luminary is driving to his location to explain why he got there so fast and how the guards were able to find them since they aren't beeping at all anymore. Just a thought.
okay, now onto this chapter. I'm glad to see Nick wasn't caught. I do have another question though, like if the rebels have never really made it out how do they know who or what they are fighting for? And I'm still unclear as to why these rebels were formed, how they manage to meet and talk about what to do and where they are going etc...
Sorry about all the questions but just wanted you to get this from the perspective of someone who might not read a lot of sci-fi. Just that going on to chapter 11, I thought we would know more by now.
I really did like your action sequence in this chapter. Just Nick thinking he'd been shot and he was a soulless body hanging around. Nicely done!
Author's Response: Hi Mare, I'm really going to have to re-read the story before I can answer properly as I can't remember what happens with the rebels lol. I think we explain it but I can't be sure as it's been a while.