First of let me tell you this is not something I would read normally. You know I'm not really into slash, I think I've told you this. However....the writing is very good, great descriptions and emotions....you can really feel the pain these guys are feeling for what they are going through. I like that you used little details as well, it adds something extra to the scene. All in all, great job for a first story.

However, something you might want to watch is your spacing when someone starts talking...when there is a new speaker there should be a break between them. I can overlook it but some might not. I did enjoy this and look forward to more :)

Author's Response:

I thought I told you that this was most certainly not my first story. I've been writing fan fiction for over 10 years. Lmao. But thanks, girl. I appreciate the feedback :)