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Reviewer: Monkey Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/30/15 03:51 am Title: 33. Moving On

OMG! I'm so excited you updated !!! Srsly youre totally amazing! This story is soooooo greaaaattt! All your stories are though. Really your writing is fab. You write the boys so well!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad at least someone is still enjoying this story, despite the irregular updates :) Hang on tight, I'm working on the next chapter

Reviewer: Monkey Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/15/15 06:31 pm Title: Prologue

Just finished reading all 32 chapters of this and OMG what a wild ride! This is so great and your writing is so great and I REAAAALLLYYY hope you haven't given up on this story!!! You write each bsb so well and thank you a million times for remembering that they too have flaws and tempers. I hope you update soooon!

Reviewer: GrunAugen Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/31/14 09:47 am Title: 31. Irresponsibility

You really have me wondering what exactly Howie has proposed... and convinced the doctor and Brian to do. I do hope we find out next chapter.. and get more from Brian's p.o.v.

It's good to see that he's getting back his speaking abilities and seems to reason more clearly. It would be devastating to have a relapse, but at the same time, it seems Brian's not making any progress like this as far as dealing with (or even knowing) what happened.
I'm glad Nick's in a protective role, trying to make sure Brian doesn't get himself into a harmful situation. But at the same time, I really think that Howie's plan -- whatever it is -- to nudge Brian's memory along is the best way to go.
Hope to read more soon!

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/20/14 11:33 am Title: 8. DOING THE RIGHT THING

Harold fails. The one thing they needed to know. But why would someone want to kill Brian?

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/20/14 11:29 am Title: 7. MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH

Dun dun dun...does he die? I want to know what he wanted so much help from.

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/20/14 11:26 am Title: 6. OUT OF HAND, OUT OF CONTROL

Oh god. But still Kevin has a point too. This isn't much of a life for poor Brian.

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/20/14 11:25 am Title: 5. CALCULATIONS, OR: THE ART OF CONVICTION

Help Brian from what, that's the question... lol

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/20/14 11:19 am Title: 4. LOST AT MIDNIGHT

I just now read your replies to my older reviews (Yeah I fail LOL). And I had no clue you were dutch! First off major props for writing in English. I never could do that honestly. And that explains a lot about the occasional awkward sentence structuring. Knowing that I'll be able to overlook it (in terms of like concrit for the challenge). Like I said, it's amazing you're writing this in something other than your first language.

Geeze at Brian's life now. I'm still asking what the hell made him do this. Because it's just so OOC that I know there's gotta be some major justifying/reasons somewhere along the line. I do like how you went straight into turning him into a vegetable.

I really wanna know about those damn numbers LOL.

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/20/14 11:13 am Title: 3. SHAMPOO

I'm shocked Brian's the one who committed suicide. It's just SO out of character. What about his religious beliefs? For example. As for the POV while you have a great style for Howie's voice it does tend to tell rather than show. Something I used to a lot when I wrote first person.

I'm very curious about the "phone number" Brian wrote...

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/20/14 11:09 am Title: 2. SECRETS TO KEEP

For some reason (and I can't put my finger on it) the dialogue feels awkward here. Maybe it's because (and this totally a personal preference lol) the nicknames were pretty much dropped by 05 except for AJ who still uses them for some reason. Other than that it's an interesting chapter. While Howie's POV isn't one most would use for a story I do think you do it quite well.

I still feel like you should differentiate the flashbacks somehow because my brain wants to read it like it's all one time. But that's a minor formatting thing. :)

Reviewer: GrunAugen Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/01/14 12:51 am Title: 30.The Bumps Along the Way

This chapter was definitely very effective at portraying the current situation and various characters' roles in it. I liked the changing points of view, but I think enough information could have been incorporated into the body of the chapter itself to set up each shift so that you wouldn't have had to make an explanatory note at the end. Same goes for the other notes--I think that Harry's visiting and Baylee's absence could have been described seamlessly in the narration.

That said, I really enjoyed your writing in this chapter, both stylistically and in terms of the direction you're taking this plotline. I'm glad that Harold told Brian exactly why he needs help, since even if it's not exactly the truth in terms of intention. Perhaps it will, and has, helped Brian get out of his self-pitying state. Certainly the fact that he's playing music at the end of this chapter seems to hint at such a development. :)

I wasn't too clear on whether Nick was in this chapter or not, but I suppose he's just trying to stay on Brian's good side, if such a thing exists. I think it does, somewhere, and I hope you'll give him the opportunity to show it to someone. Maybe when Howie arrives?

Great job, and I'm looking forward to the next update!

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/30/14 11:05 am Title: 1. REASONS FOR BLAME

I like the idea of the journal entry. Nice touch. I would take off the "previously" at the top with the quote. I think the quote is great on it's own and without it, it flows better. There's a few minor errors in terms of grammar, but nothing I can't overlook cause I'm guilty of it too LOL.

Is the bottom part, part of the entry? If it's not, I would've italicized the entry cause it makes it easier on the eyes to keep it separate. But that's also my personal preference. :). I find it interesting this is coming from Howie's POV. Normally not my thing but you still have me curious.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I think this is the only chapter with the "previously" indeed. As for the bottom part, that one's a little tricky. Actually, the middle part is the part that's looking back, so maybe that's the part that should be italicized :) Howie needs more screentime!

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/30/14 11:01 am Title: Prologue

Nice start. Your style and the way your form your sentences read a little weird and it did take me out of it a little bit. But beyond that it still manages to draw the reader in. I'm curious to see where this goes.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I come from the Netherlands, so Dutch is my first language, which might make my sentences a little Dutch too. I hope it doesn't bother you too much

Reviewer: GrunAugen Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/27/14 06:50 am Title: 29. To Make Sense

Well, this is definitely intriguing. I'm really glad you're continuing... this is much more subtle than your other story. ;)

I'm also glad that Howie will (hopefully) be joining everyone soon, and that we will get some insight into Brian's therapy sessions. A chapter on one of them from Brian's point of view would be great... then we'd get to see the difference between what he says and what he's thinking... if indeed there is any difference. Maybe Howie or someone will be able to help him communicate. From the rating change, I gather something will soon be revealed...

Alright, I'll stop speculating.. and go back to waiting patiently for the next chapter. Good job on this one!

Reviewer: GrunAugen Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/11/14 08:54 am Title: Chapter 28

I'm liking where you're taking this story right now. To try to address the facets of Brian's rehabilitation/recovery is quite a challenge, and I thought this chapter was quite detailed and realistic. I like how we have Brian's character re-emerging at the same time as symptoms of his trauma continue to manifest themselves, reminding us of what hasn't been dealt with. Now that you've mentined them, I hope we get a peek into the phychotherapy sessions at some point...

I'm really glad you have everyone helping and Nick's assisting with the physio provided for a great dynamic with Brian. While it's easy to understand why he's often dejected with his situation, it's good to know it isn't without hope. I like the progress he's made with talking, too--he seems to be finding his words better, even if the sentences are short.
This was a nice contrast to the previous chapter, where Brian thought he had nothing to look forward to. The car trip provided a good transition, though.
Well, can't decide what I'd rather know about next, but I suspect it's a Howie-related chapter. ;)
Great work!

Author's Response: aaah you read my mind you! Howie is certainly going to appear in the next chapter. And I think Brian deserves some progress with all that is going to happen next... dun...dun...DUN!