Reviews For Sick as My Secrets
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Reviewer: HYst Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/23/17 07:02 am Title: Prologue

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Reviewer: DelphinaCarter Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/22/17 01:47 pm Title: Epilogue

Hi, so I am so sorry I kind of dropped off reading this. I finally did finish it and I was really happy Nick started to come around but to be honest I knew his heart wasn't fully in it. I wanted to shake him the whole time, I mean it's quite obvious he was going to end up back with Lauren in the end with the subtle hints you threw around. However, part of me was rooting for Nowie the whole time lol. I was so sad to read the scene where Nick was desperately clinging on to this little bit of hope only to have it crushed by the reality of Howie dying. I loved how you wrote that by the way. Loved the epilogue as well, Nick finding happiness again. Great story and I'm looking forward to the next one!

Reviewer: dontwantyouback Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/22/17 02:04 pm Title: Epilogue

Brutal to have Howie's lifeless body to be pounded like that for half an hour, lol. XD
I cried when Howie was presumably talking to his kids for the last time and also when Nick had to watch Howie die right in front of him. And the rest of the time I was wiping my nose and upper lip.

This is all the more painful after all their talk about “The Indestructible Howie D”, planning a future date, Nick calling himself his “partner”, Howie trusting the new Nick with his life, Nick feeling Howie’s heart beat, and AJ momentarily getting Nick’s hopes up.

Though, it would’ve been more sad if Howie died while Nick wasn’t there. I was worried this would be like “The L Word” when Dana's heart stopped while her friend/lover stepped out of the hospital for a few moments. So at least Howie didn't die alone.
I can't imagine how James must've felt to see his dad in the casket just days after that phone call.

It was a great way to tie up the story by having Lauren swoop in and show Nick that she's willing to take on the the same risk of loss that Nick took on with Howie.
Excellent story overall! Thank you for committing to this story and seeing it through the end. I'm glad I stuck around for this dramatic conclusion. ^_^

Author's Response: Ahh, I know! This was a hard ending to write. I actually was originally planning for Nick not to be there for Howie's death and just find out after the fact, but I changed my mind a few days before I wrote it. It made it more dramatic, but I liked that Nick was there with him in the end. The stuff with James and Holden was the hardest to write; that's what got to me the most. I'm glad you liked the ending with Lauren coming back into Nick's life. Thank you so much for the compliments and feedback! I appreciate you sticking with this and leaving reviews throughout, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

Reviewer: KeepThisSecret Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/19/17 12:55 am Title: Epilogue

I knew he would end up with Lauren in the end! I just wanted to yell a massive "you go girl!" when Lauren was calling Nick out on his ridiculous logic. Oh man; I can't believe this is over! What's gonna happen to the boys? Are they going to go on and continue to be BSB without Howie?? How are the others going to cope with his death?? So many questions!

I just wanted to thank you so much for seeing this story through to the end. I don't think that I will ever read another slash story, but you did an incredible job with this one. You are an incredible writer and I hope to see you pop up with a new venture soon. Thanks for the great read and for the conversation along the way. 😀

Author's Response: Yep, you called that too! It was so satisfying to write that last conversation between Nick and Lauren, especially when she was calling him out like that. I didn't want to skip ahead too much into the future and deal with all those questions, like what happens to BSB... I don't even want to think about what they would do in that situation. Too sad! I have never shied away from killing Backstreet Boys when the story calls for it, but for some reason, this one really bummed me out last week!! Now I'm just trying to figure out what my next project will be to fill the SAMS void. Thanks for sticking with me on this one and reading till the end, even though I know slash isn't your thing. I don't know that I'll ever write another one, but it was a fun challenge for me, and I became a lot more comfortable with it as the story went on, so I think it helped me grow in a way. Thanks for all your feedback! I enjoyed our conversations as well. Don't forget to pop onto the discussion boards (when they work again) for more fanfic/BSB conversation! :)

Reviewer: angeb Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/18/17 06:37 pm Title: Epilogue

So sad the story has ended. You did an amazing job and it is going to be one of my all time faves for sure.
Thank you

Author's Response: Thank .YOU! I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks for all your reviews and encouragement! I miss this story already; I can't wait until I get going on something else to take its place.

Reviewer: Sakabelle Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/18/17 03:12 pm Title: Epilogue

I'm glad Nick was able to reconnect with Lauren after everything that happened. She is basically the queen of forgiveness! Nick saying all that stuff about how he was alone now was so sad. I liked how they were watching the rocket launch and how that was a constant throughout the story. It really tied everything together. I liked how you ending this with Nick taking Lauren's hand. This story was definitely an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish! I really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! She is very forgiving, but I guess when you love someone that much and want to be with them that badly, you're willing to move past some things. I'm glad you liked the rocket launch thing; I liked being able to call back to that scene earlier in the story. I wanted to end it in a way that hinted at Nick and Lauren getting back together without skipping ahead and actually showing them officially together. Thanks again for reading and reviewing along the way!

Reviewer: KeepThisSecret Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/18/17 01:52 pm Title: Chapter 80

I knew it!! Still, it didn't make this chapter any less sad. Kudos on doing such an amazing job with this final official chapter. It was such an emotional roller coaster. As a Brian girl, I was so pleased that you had Brian be there for Nick. It seemed strangely fitting that they would come back together over this moment.

Anyways, I'm gonna go and have Father's Day breakfast with my family now and try not to be an emotional mess over this. Haha!! I will be back for the final epilogue later!

Author's Response: You called it! Thanks so much! As a fellow Brian girl, I loved the idea of Brian being there for Nick too. I felt like, of all the boys, he seemed to understand Nick's relationship with Howie the best, so I thought he was the best choice to be there to console Nick. Hope you made it through Father's Day okay! LOL

Reviewer: Jujube Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/18/17 12:01 pm Title: Epilogue

This was such a wonderful read, definitely a emotional rollercoaster. lol I'm glad Lauren was there supporting him. Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks! I definitely wanted Nick and Lauren to get back together, so it was important for her to be there for him in the end.

Reviewer: Jujube Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/18/17 12:00 pm Title: Chapter 80

I had a feeling this is how it was going to end! I was in tears reading this! Thank god Nick was there by his side. Great, emotional chapter

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

Reviewer: nickslilmami Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/17/17 11:43 pm Title: Epilogue

I'm kinda sad to see it end but this was a great story. Reading about Howies funeral brought on a few tears and it seemed fitting that Lauren would be the one to comfort Nick. Nicely done!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for leaving reviews along the way!

Reviewer: nickslilmami Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/17/17 10:14 pm Title: Chapter 80

No not Howie! Even though I knew this was coming it was still really hard to read. I'm a big fan of slash stories and this one really tugged at my heart. But at least Nick was there with him in the end.

Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I was originally going to have Nick NOT be there when it happened and Brian show up at his house afterwards to break the news, but I changed my mind a few days before I wrote this. I just felt like he needed to be there.

Reviewer: Rose Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/17/17 07:43 pm Title: Chapter 80

Howie! I sort of expected him to die but I kind of hoped for the best. Nick finally acknowledges their relationship only to lose him in the end. The turns this took for Nick to finally get here and the way he handled Howie' s death was so in line with how Nick would be. Loved it.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad Nick's part seemed believable. Yeah, I think everyone knew that in a story where half the characters have HIV, at least one of them wasn't going to make it. At least it wasn't Holden! LOL

Reviewer: Sakabelle Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/17/17 03:26 pm Title: Chapter 80

I have to say I never thought I'd have tears in my eyes when watching a compilation video of Nick/Howie bugging each other, but here we are. This was so sad :( I had thought Howie would probably die, but like Nick I was still hoping that he would make a miraculous recovery. Nick was just heartbreaking in this chapter as well, so Nickish - just overdramatic and yelling and trying to fix the situation any way that he knew how even though it was completely out of his hands. I loved the part where he was yelling that he was that the power of attorney and they were going to keep trying and Brian interrupted him and sort of brought him back to earth. I also loved how much Brian has been Nick's rock throughout this entire story. I feel like a lot of times their relationship is written in a very strained way, so this was nice to read. Either way, it was a very sad ending but I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to the epilogue. (I guess there's no chance of the two of them reuniting in heaven ala 'This is the End' right? LOL)

Author's Response: Thanks; I'm glad Nick's reaction seemed believable. I kept changing my mind on how this was all going to go down and didn't decide for sure until a few days before I wrote this chapter, but I liked the idea of Brian being the one to be there for Nick through this. Like you said, he's stuck by Nick's side throughout the whole story, so it made sense that he would be there in the end. Jeez, how did you know exactly what I had planned for the epilogue? Am I that predictable?! LOL :P

Reviewer: angeb Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/17/17 02:52 pm Title: Chapter 80

OMG even though I felt it was going to go this way I'm still so sad. I wanted them to have a happy ending. I hope there still is 1. If not for both then certainly for Nick. Crying so hard right now.

Great writing. Amazing story definitely 1 of my all time faves and I usually don't even read Nick/Howie.

Thank you again

Author's Response: Thank YOU! I like happy endings too, so this was a hard one to write. But there is still one chapter to go, so it may be at least a bittersweet ending for Nick. Thanks so much for reading this one, even though you don't usually read Nick/Howie. I appreciate your reviews throughout!

Reviewer: KeepThisSecret Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/17/17 01:29 am Title: Chapter 79

Omg! The bit with James and Holden was so sad! As a mom, that totally killed me. I can't even imagine. Ugh! I love that you brought all of the guys back for this; so fitting that they're the only ones there - just the five of them.

I was enjoying all of the updates and now you leave me hanging like this?? Are you trying to give me heart failure?? Where is the update?! Haha

Author's Response: That's the part that got to me the most, too, Howie talking to James and Holden. That "Big Star Little Star" show Howie and James did last week just made it worse! Ahh! You know I had to bring all the boys back before the end of the story. Thanks!

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