Reviews For Sick as My Secrets
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Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/15/17 05:13 pm Title: Epilogue

That was an amazing story, absolutely loved it!

I'm glad at the end he found Lauren again and maybe everything will be ok for them in time.

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Steph! I'm glad you enjoyed it. As much as I loved Nick and Howie together, I always kinda wanted him to end up with Lauren because I love them together in real life. I'd like to think they worked things out. I've thought about writing a one-shot follow-up to this story about them someday. Thanks again for all the reviews!

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/15/17 05:06 pm Title: Chapter 80

I knew it was never going to end well for Howie, poor guy :(

Such a sad chapter, so real, so amazingly written.

Author's Response: I knew pretty early on that I was going to kill Howie, but actually writing it was awful. I have written so many sad stories, but the end of this one really did get to me. :( It just felt like it needed to be a tragedy, though. Thanks for the compliment!

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/15/17 05:00 pm Title: Chapter 79

Oh my god, this is so sad :( I'm holding back the tears myself.

I did laugh at the Ebola thing though, trust Nick!

Author's Response: You know I never miss an opportunity to make an Ebola reference! Seems like a Nick thing to say/think.

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/15/17 04:21 pm Title: Chapter 77

Yes, this really is an emotional rollercoaster! Just when Howie and Nick are back together, he has to get sick again! I wonder what the cough is though?

Author's Response: Yes, yes it is. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/15/17 04:03 pm Title: Chapter 75

Thank god it's reversible, I just hope that's the case for Howie.

The fluid draining reminds me a bit of when my husband was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy. His stomach was bloated and he was really short of breath. In the hospital he was given some intravenous drug which made him fill 18 bottles of all the fluid that had built up in his stomach and chest :(

Author's Response: Oh my! That sounds awful. :( I hope he is doing better these days!

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/15/17 03:55 pm Title: Chapter 74

Oh no, I hope he's not rejecting the liver and it's just an infection they can treat :(

But it was nice of Nick to show him some affection in public, I think he needed it.

Author's Response: I think Nick needed to take that step, too. Thanks!

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/14/17 05:15 pm Title: Chapter 73

I knew the happiness wouldn't last, poor Howie :(

I can understand him being jealous over Nick and Lauren. It's obvious they still love each other and would still be together if not for the HIV. They may even still get back together.

But to hear that Howie could be sick again is awful news, I don't think he's going to get his happy ending :(

Still loving this :)

Author's Response: LOL Of course it wasn't going to last. Poor Howie. Thanks!

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/14/17 04:46 pm Title: Chapter 70

Loving all these Nick and Howie pictures at the end of the chapters!

Glad things are finally going Howie's way for a change. Everyone seems to have accepted the news, even his ex is ok with it. About time his luck changed :)

I just hope the happiness stays.

Author's Response: I got the biggest kick out of Nick and Howie posting all these couple-y looking pictures as I was writing the end of this story. Made for good inspiration! ;) LOL You should have known the happiness would never last for Howie in one of my stories.

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/14/17 04:32 pm Title: Chapter 68

Wow, even Brian was ok with it. He must be mellowing out at last!

Glad to see they all seem ok with it, and as long as it doesn't affect the band, then it's all good.

Author's Response: LOL I would like to think Brian wouldn't be too judgey in this situation, but who knows. Thanks!

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/14/17 04:24 pm Title: Chapter 67

OMG I knew they wouldn't be able to hide it from the others for long. I wonder how they'll take it?

Cute song too :)

Author's Response: I can't listen to that song without thinking of this story now LOL. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Carter-Orange Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/14/17 04:16 pm Title: Chapter 66

Yes, Nick and Howie make a cute couple on their lunch date :)

Loved AJ and Rochelle trying to play matchmakers, but don't think it's going to work. At least I hope it doesn't, lol.

Looks like I've got lots of reading to do to catch up, but I'm still loving this story so much.

Author's Response: Hey Steph! Somehow among all the spam reviews I was getting earlier this fall, I missed your reviews for the end of SAMS. Gonna reply to them all now - sorry I'm so late! Thanks for taking the time to catch up and review!

Reviewer: DelphinaCarter Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/22/17 01:47 pm Title: Epilogue

Hi, so I am so sorry I kind of dropped off reading this. I finally did finish it and I was really happy Nick started to come around but to be honest I knew his heart wasn't fully in it. I wanted to shake him the whole time, I mean it's quite obvious he was going to end up back with Lauren in the end with the subtle hints you threw around. However, part of me was rooting for Nowie the whole time lol. I was so sad to read the scene where Nick was desperately clinging on to this little bit of hope only to have it crushed by the reality of Howie dying. I loved how you wrote that by the way. Loved the epilogue as well, Nick finding happiness again. Great story and I'm looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: Hey Tracy, sorry for the late reply on this - for some reason, I don't get email notifications for reviews anymore, so I'm glad I happened to check! Thanks for sticking with this story and finishing it, and thanks for the compliments. I changed my mind about how the Howie death was going to go down a few days before it (originally I wasn't going to have Nick there to witness it), so thanks for the feedback on that scene specifically. I agree with your comments about Nick; I do think he loved Howie, but not necessarily in the same way he loved Lauren. Had Howie lived, I don't think they would have ended up getting married or anything like that. It was fun writing the two of them together, but I always wanted Nick to end up with Lauren. I'm glad you liked the epilogue. Thanks again for finishing it and taking the time to leave a review!

Reviewer: dontwantyouback Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/22/17 02:04 pm Title: Epilogue

Brutal to have Howie's lifeless body to be pounded like that for half an hour, lol. XD
I cried when Howie was presumably talking to his kids for the last time and also when Nick had to watch Howie die right in front of him. And the rest of the time I was wiping my nose and upper lip.

This is all the more painful after all their talk about “The Indestructible Howie D”, planning a future date, Nick calling himself his “partner”, Howie trusting the new Nick with his life, Nick feeling Howie’s heart beat, and AJ momentarily getting Nick’s hopes up.

Though, it would’ve been more sad if Howie died while Nick wasn’t there. I was worried this would be like “The L Word” when Dana's heart stopped while her friend/lover stepped out of the hospital for a few moments. So at least Howie didn't die alone.
I can't imagine how James must've felt to see his dad in the casket just days after that phone call.

It was a great way to tie up the story by having Lauren swoop in and show Nick that she's willing to take on the the same risk of loss that Nick took on with Howie.
Excellent story overall! Thank you for committing to this story and seeing it through the end. I'm glad I stuck around for this dramatic conclusion. ^_^

Author's Response: Ahh, I know! This was a hard ending to write. I actually was originally planning for Nick not to be there for Howie's death and just find out after the fact, but I changed my mind a few days before I wrote it. It made it more dramatic, but I liked that Nick was there with him in the end. The stuff with James and Holden was the hardest to write; that's what got to me the most. I'm glad you liked the ending with Lauren coming back into Nick's life. Thank you so much for the compliments and feedback! I appreciate you sticking with this and leaving reviews throughout, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

Reviewer: KeepThisSecret Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/19/17 12:55 am Title: Epilogue

I knew he would end up with Lauren in the end! I just wanted to yell a massive "you go girl!" when Lauren was calling Nick out on his ridiculous logic. Oh man; I can't believe this is over! What's gonna happen to the boys? Are they going to go on and continue to be BSB without Howie?? How are the others going to cope with his death?? So many questions!

I just wanted to thank you so much for seeing this story through to the end. I don't think that I will ever read another slash story, but you did an incredible job with this one. You are an incredible writer and I hope to see you pop up with a new venture soon. Thanks for the great read and for the conversation along the way. 😀

Author's Response: Yep, you called that too! It was so satisfying to write that last conversation between Nick and Lauren, especially when she was calling him out like that. I didn't want to skip ahead too much into the future and deal with all those questions, like what happens to BSB... I don't even want to think about what they would do in that situation. Too sad! I have never shied away from killing Backstreet Boys when the story calls for it, but for some reason, this one really bummed me out last week!! Now I'm just trying to figure out what my next project will be to fill the SAMS void. Thanks for sticking with me on this one and reading till the end, even though I know slash isn't your thing. I don't know that I'll ever write another one, but it was a fun challenge for me, and I became a lot more comfortable with it as the story went on, so I think it helped me grow in a way. Thanks for all your feedback! I enjoyed our conversations as well. Don't forget to pop onto the discussion boards (when they work again) for more fanfic/BSB conversation! :)

Reviewer: angeb Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/18/17 06:37 pm Title: Epilogue

So sad the story has ended. You did an amazing job and it is going to be one of my all time faves for sure.
Thank you

Author's Response: Thank .YOU! I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks for all your reviews and encouragement! I miss this story already; I can't wait until I get going on something else to take its place.