Date: 06/03/14 12:56 pm Title: Chapter 13
I think that was quite possibly one of the saddest opening lines to a chapter that I've ever read. My heart truly was breaking for Howie during this entire chapter. I can totally imagine him watching Kevin's happy family and falling apart on the inside. I wonder what happens that makes things even worse ... Leigh asks him for an official divorce, the media gets wind of the fact that both Howie and Nick have tested positive .... hmmmmmm.
P.S. Super glad that you posted an update to this story! How is the house hunt going?
Author's Response: Aww... thanks so much! I feel bad for Howie in this story too. I'm closing on my house June 17! Super excited about painting and moving in and decorating it! Between that, work/school, and life in general, I have been incredibly busy the last month or so, which is why I've fallen so far behind on your story and all fanfic! I can't wait until July when things calm down so I can catch up! Thanks for reading and reviewing mine! :)
Date: 05/18/14 11:31 pm Title: Chapter 12
Sorry for the late review. I am glad she was negative but part of me is disappointed she doesnt have AIDS too. I mean everybody else does LOL.
Author's Response: LMAO!! You're bad. I thought it would be more interesting if she didn't, cause in a way, that's almost more drama. Thanks for the review, Tracy!
Date: 05/16/14 10:20 am Title: Chapter 12
Awwww poor Nick. But hey, Lauren got through alright. Though her "I'm sorry" reaction got me WTF for a serious moment myself LOL.
Author's Response: LOL I think Lauren just feels bad somehow that Nick is going through this and she isn't, but I'm not surprised the "I'm sorry" reaction threw you. Thanks for all the reviews!
Date: 05/16/14 10:17 am Title: Chapter 11
Having Q in there totally broke my heart :( but I get why you did. And I liked that you backtracked. We needed to see this conversation. And OMG at Howie still thinking he had a shot with Nick if Lauren was gone! HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING IN ALL THIS?! Jesus lol.
Author's Response: Aww, I know... it was hard to write, but I felt like I couldn't just ignore it. LOL Poor delusional Howie... or is he?
Date: 05/16/14 10:15 am Title: Chapter 10
Everyone has AIDS! Damn now I'll be singing it all night LOL. Lauren took that...oddly well. Super well.
Author's Response: LOL It's true! Everyone has commented on how well Lauren reacted. I think she took it better than Leigh because 1) she doesn't already know she's infected, 2) she doesn't have a child who's been hurt by it too, and 3) she loves Nick enough to support him through this. Hopefully it doesn't seem too strange.
Date: 05/16/14 10:13 am Title: Chapter 9
Catching up! LOL poor Howie, having to let the fans know. Because he doesn't have enough on his plate. So true though, it literally is a "Family" illness and probably is a backstreet family one too...
Author's Response: Thanks, ZDR! LOL Everyone has AIDS!
Date: 05/15/14 09:09 pm Title: Chapter 12
Great to see you back!
Aw, I'm still sat here saying 'poor Howie', although I can also understand Nick's feelings, I think I'd take some time to calm down too. I'm wondering about Lauren, can't wait to see what happens next :)
Author's Response: Thanks, Steph! I'm glad you can feel for both Nick and Howie.
Date: 05/14/14 01:12 pm Title: Chapter 12
I'm so glad that you posted an update!! I was starting to worry that I would never get to find out how this all ends. I'm thrilled that Lauren tested negative. I think that it will make the Nick/Lauren relationship more dramatic now that she's not sick and he is. Also, it's still breaking my heart that Nick is so mad at Howie. P.S. > Congratulations on your decision to buy a house!
Author's Response: Thanks!! I'm so sorry for falling off the face of the earth for awhile! I'm way behind on your story, and I apologize for that too! I'll catch up when I have more time to just sit and read! About Nick and Lauren, I agree, and that's what I was going for. I wanted their relationship to have a different dynamic from Howie and Leigh's, and I thought having her test negative would be more interesting than if she'd tested positive too. Thanks again for the comments and the congrats! :)
Date: 05/14/14 02:28 am Title: Chapter 12
I feel like something is off with Nick and Lauren. I don't what is though lol Great chapter, Can't wait for more
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! A lot of people are thinking something's up with Nick and Lauren. We shall see!
Date: 04/06/14 11:11 pm Title: Chapter 11
Cant wait for an update! I think i check 10 times a day for an update! ha!
Author's Response: Sorry for the late reply, but thanks! I finally updated!
Date: 03/31/14 10:55 am Title: Chapter 11
Hey, Julie! First, I am sorry it took me so long to leave a review. As I've told KeepThisSecret, I only sneak personal internet time at work, so I usually don't log in when I visit AC.
To be honest, I almost wanted to stop reading when I learned Holden has AIDS. I can take hundreds of Cancer Nick anytime but not a baby with serious illness. But, the plot of this story is really good, and beautifully written, so I came back. I just hope Holden will not die.
Leigh's reaction is so real. As a mother, I know I would feel the same. It doesn't matter if my husband infected me, we can go through it together. But passing it on my baby is a serious matter. Leigh will need a lot of time away from Howie. And, I feel sad for Howie, too. No father would ever want to be on his place. I have a feeling, he was the one who committed suicide in the first chapter. But knowing you, Julie, we can never be sure. :)
*waiting for the next chapter*
Author's Response: Hey, Ritz! Thanks so much for the review! I didn't know you were reading this. I don't blame you for almost stopping when Holden got sick. That was hard to write because that is the one line I have always had - I don't hurt [real] BSB kids. In all honesty, I will just tell you I'm not planning to kill him. He was just a plot device for Howie to find out and feel this extreme guilt. I'm glad you found his and Leigh's reactions realistic. Thanks so much!!
Date: 03/30/14 10:38 pm Title: Chapter 11
Totally not surprised that Leigh took the kids and left. I would have done exactly the same thing in her situation. What kind of surprised me was Howie's thoughts about him and Nick possibly having some kind of a future together. Howie is clearly very conflicted at this point. On the one hand, he is devastated over the possibility of losing his wife. On the other hand, he is still carrying around this fantasy of him and Nick living happily ever after. I find his behaviour very believable as we are often unsure of what we want in times of despair. I'm not sure how I want this to all end up at the moment and I don't have any inkling of where you're going to take things from here. Thanks for keeping me guessing!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I think Howie IS very conflicted. Clearly he has some feelings for Nick and maybe men in general, but I do think he also still loves Leigh. Even if he is gay (and I don't know that he's totally comfortable admitting that yet), she's his best friend and the mother of his children, so he doesn't want to lose her. I'm glad you found his feelings believable. I drew inspiration from real life stories I've heard of middle-aged couples divorcing because one of them came out. It just goes to show that people can live in the closet, essentially living a lie, for a LONG time... and yet, I do think there's still some sort of love there, just maybe not a sexual/romantic love. It is definitely confusing! Thanks again for your thoughts!
Date: 03/29/14 08:29 pm Title: Chapter 11
I’m afraid that Leigh already has divorce papers in my mind. It doesn’t look good for Howie. The poor fella, he meant no harm.
lol Funny that Howie still lingers on the hope that Nick will develop feelings for him through this. Responding to your last chapter's end notes, as much as I’d love to imagine a scenario where Nick and Howie engaged in penetration, I’m going to choose to believe that they only went as far as oral sex. I don’t think Howie would forget fucking or being fucked by his friend. I’d like to believe that the guys were unlucky enough to infect the other even when the odds were against them. ;)
Author's Response: Thanks for your review and your comments about my author's note! That's pretty much how I feel too, but I wanted to leave the door open for anyone who wasn't buying the bad luck thing LOL.
Date: 03/29/14 03:08 pm Title: Chapter 11
Poor Howie :( I know he cheated, and Leigh is obviously devastated and in need of some time, but he didn't intend to infect everyone with HIV, that was just bad luck. Although if that happened to me, I'd probably be furious too and then start to deal with it.
Looking forward to more :)
Author's Response: Thanks, Steph! I know, I'm not sure he deserves all the hate either, but at the same time, I think I'd be upset and need some time away from him too. I'm glad you can see both sides of it.
Date: 03/29/14 10:06 am Title: Chapter 11
Howie's world slowly unravels one person at a time....funny how he's cling to the hope that Lauren could possibly leave Nick so that he would turn to him and possibly become friends and then lovers lol.
Nick being cold towards Howie wouldn't be too far from reality. I would never see him turn back to the person that ultimately changes my life forever in a positive way; especially with HIV!!!!
Since the time line doesn't add up for Nick to have been the carrier I will be interested in seeing how this goes....will your twisted mind (lol) infect everyone in the band with HIV so we'll never know how this originally started?!?
Author's Response: LOL Hey, Howie's just looking for the silver lining in all this! ;) I'm glad you can understand why Nick is being so cold. LMAO That would sure be interesting if the whole band was infected! I'll take it as a compliment that you think me capable of such evil LOL. Thanks!
