Date: 11/10/14 08:56 pm Title: Chapter Five
I'm just going to continue our conversation from the last review lol I'm really impressed with the changes you made. It brought a heaviness to it, more of a serious tone, that I think was lacking from version 1. My biggest issue with that incarnation was that all these serious issues were happening but everyone was dealing with them in a very light, often comical way. I think you've done a better job here of making it more typically "you" and being able to have those lighter moments without losing focus of the fact that the subject matter is still serious.
Author's Response: That's exactly it! Totally! I didn't even realize it until you just said it. It's hard because I do feel like the humor needs to be infused in this stuff, but you're right, it's a darker theme and needs to be balanced right. A few of the comical scenes are still making their way into this version, too. Especially in the next chapter. But I am being careful to keep it down to earth and make the humor a relief rather than the norm, too. I didn't even realize that's what it was 'til you just said it. You sooo hit the nail on the head. I love our review conversations, by the way. We kinda are kick ass. lol
