Date: 08/13/11 12:11 am Title: Chapter 13: Hold on Loosely
One thing about the column, it really shows Quinn's line of thinking. I do like that aspect of it. But the one in this chapter does seem a little too personal, even for a column. But on the flip side, it really shows off her perspective and defensiveness on what she's doing.
Author's Response:
When I started writing this story, I didn't really want to write a story about a writer. With the premise of the story and the ideas I had in mind of characters, I needed a way to connect Quinn to the reader because she is so out there sometimes. The goal of her columns is to show her more human side, her inner most thoughts and what is really going on. Sometimes, they are VERY personal, but there are some things I really needed to convey and this was the vehicle. I hope you start to see their value as the story progresses.
Date: 08/13/11 12:06 am Title: 12: My Hometown
So far the story's still flowing well. The only thing is that I can't relate to Quinn as a character at all LOL. But that's just a personal thing, nothing to do with the writing.
Author's Response:
Quinn is intentionally unrelatable in the beginning, but I hope you can grow to understand why...and maybe even like her sometimes. There were many times when I was writing this story that she got on my nerves and I created her!!! Glad you like the flow and the writing...
Date: 08/01/11 01:59 am Title: 10: Life is a Highway
Hopefully things will begin to really pick up. I mean it's pretty obvious the two have really gotten under each other's skin. But as a reader, I almost feel like it's every other chapter of a sexual encounter, showing how much they're into each other. Which I get is part of the story, but at the same time there's not a real movement of the plot just yet.
For the writing itself, everything is flowing real well and I don't find myself skimming like I did at the beginning.
Author's Response:
In the beginning, the s-e-x is necessary because that is what their relationship is about...I hope you will see that as you continue to read. The plot will come along...hang in there! Thanks for really reading and not skimming (I am guilty of that myself, especially when trying something new).
Date: 07/29/11 04:50 am Title: 6: Piece of Me
I like that Nick discovered her blog after seeing her interview. It sets up the idea of him actively chasing her but in that sneaky/sly sort of way. Everything's starting to flow more. :)
Author's Response:
Nick is definitely the one doing the chasing, and he has enough experience with women to know what he's doing, even if this is not how things typically happen for him. Guys like a challenge, and Quinn is a challenge for him, which is a HUGE part of his attraction to her. The columns are a very important window into Quinn's mind, and the fact that Nick has access to them will really have a significant impact later in this story.
Date: 07/23/11 02:25 am Title: 5: Let's Get Physical
I like that you got into Nick's head a bit. I was hoping for that, I'm very picky with solely female POVs which was what this was having up till now.
I'm not the biggest person for sex scenes, but in the case of this story, (with the exception of the flashback which I already mentioned), they're not as frequent as I expected. Especially as that's one of the undercurrents of the story, Quinn using casual sex as a way to keep control in her personal life. Nick does seem to have her pegged a bit, she does enjoy control.
Also, the title of this chapter cracked me up cause now the song "Lets Get Physical" is stuck in my head.
Author's Response:
You will get a lot more Nick, especially in the second half of the story. The first part really focuses on Quinn because I thought it was important for readers to know her so they would understand Nick's attraction to her and the conflict in the relationship. In writing, I have always been of the opinion that sex is a part of adult relationships, which is why I include it, and in this story, it is important to see that they really connect in that way, so there has to be some of it!
And yes, the song is in my mind too! LOL!
Date: 07/23/11 01:14 am Title: 4: Rules of Engagement
The writing is good, I don't see a lot of errors. This chapter doesn't really move a lot along, it just kind of tells me more about Quinn. I am going to sound repetitive, but I'd rather this be sprinkled throughout the story, rather than told in big clumps like this. I'm a picky/lazy reader lol. And when I get kind of "information dumps" like this where it's just all in one big delivery, I end up skimming.
But you have a very well defined character. Quinn feels very real in this fic.
Author's Response:
I am glad you understand/know who Quinn is...I'm bad about the info dumps sometimes, thanks for hanging in there. From one picky/lazy reader to another, I do the same thing!!!
Date: 07/22/11 04:37 am Title: 3: Taking Care of Business
So far the story seems to be setting up quite nicely. Now this is a preference thing, the dialogue moves slow for me. I'm a reader who prefers tags after speaking only when necessary so that my eyes can follow the dialogue quickly. But like I said, that's a personal taste thing.
Not sure if the flashback was necessary, immediately after the sex chapter. I mean as a reader, I already know they had sex, and that she enjoyed every minute of it lol. The flashback just repeats the necessary.
I also, doubt a little bit the believability of Quinn not having recognized Nick at all. Any girl who grew up at the time Nick was famous (which would be the case here) would've seen Nick plastered everywhere in the media.
I do think you get across the characters quite well. In two chapters I do have a very definite sense of Quinn and who she is. A lot of writers can't do that, especially in romance. So I'm happy to see that in here. :)
Author's Response:
Dialouge is one of my weaknesses, I feel funky writing it and sometimes don't know what to say. I am a better describer...if that is even a word :o)
Glad you are seeing things you like...I appreciate your detailed feedback.
Date: 07/20/11 05:24 am Title: 1: Saying Goodbye
Okay, my first thoughts. So far, it's well written, structurally speaking. I feel like there's a lot of telling, not a lot of showing. The blog entry, while more personal in the scene, isn't that necessary. It gets kind of reiterated in the scene below it, and made my eyes start to skim through it.
I like the theme, it's sort of Friends With Benefits, but without the actual friendship lol.
Author's Response:
So sorry I am just now responding to your reviews...I never get on AC on an actual computer!!! Thank you for the compliment regarding the writing itself. I hope reading isn't too much of a chore considering this type of story isn't your thing!
Date: 05/14/11 02:19 pm Title: Chapter 50: Epilouge
You ended it with a column! LOVE! What a very fitting and perfect ending to this story. I am so happy that Nick and Quinn were able to work through their issues and come out happy, together and in love. I know this is not the ending you had planned, and while I loved the other one, I think that this one fits so well. Congrats again on sticking it out and finishing the story, Darby! You did a great job with it. I am so happy that through our writing we've become friends :o) Can't wait for your next one! Hugs!
Author's Response:
Of course it ended with a column...that was a given!!! I totally changed the ending, and you know, I think that was my big hold up on finishing because after everything, I think Nick and Quinn deserved a happy ending!!! Thanks for everything!!!
Date: 05/14/11 02:15 pm Title: Chapter 49: Never Tear Us Apart
That was a great last chapter, Darby! Very fitting. I liked how you opened it with a wedding - but not with Nick and Quinn's wedding ;) I thought that fit very well and I enjoyed the symbolism there. I also really liked Nick's talk with Paul, I thought that was very real and Nick was awesome during it! Trying so hard to keep his cool and inside he is just shaking in his boots lol. Excellent job! I am going to read the epilogue now :)
Author's Response:
I am so glad you liked it! As you know, I didn't end up doing what I had planned to do, but I thought it did their relationship justice!
Date: 05/12/11 03:00 am Title: Chapter 50: Epilouge
Aww... Yay for happy endings! I am so proud of you for finishing this Darbs! I know that this is a very different ending than you originally had planned. I think at one point didn't you have Quinn actually cheating on Nick with Jake? It's funny how sometimes the most solid endings are the one's that you don't expect. I'm glad you seemed to tie pretty much everything up nicely here. I can definitely relate on the up and down relationship drama being draining. (Why do you think I took such a long break from writing? Don't think I will ever do a series again.) So I think you made a good desicion in not dragging this into another story or two. And again I agree that the usual cliched endings of weddings and babies just don't fit these two right now in their life. Don't know if I can picture fearless, independent Quinn, pushing a stroller lol.
I wish you luck on your new story! Cannot wait to read it and hear more about it. If you need any help or someone to look something over I would be more than happy to since I've got plenty of time on my hands now. I miss our beta sessions!
Author's Response:
Yes, all kinds of crazy things were SUPPOSED to happen, and they I would have been stuck in my neverending story! I feel good about how I was able to wrap it up neatly with things in a good place...that was REALISTIC for Nick and Quinn.
I look forward to getting back into writing with you...beta sessions here we come!
Date: 05/12/11 02:34 am Title: Chapter 47: Like A Bird
Heavy stuff... But it needed to be out in the open. I'm proud of Quinn though. She took all of that quite well. I would need a few days just to process all of that and work through my feelings. I hope things improve for them and they take things nice and slow.
Date: 05/12/11 02:19 am Title: Chapter 46: Hurt
Okay so if last chapter I wanted to smack Quinn, this time I want to slap Nick. Real smooth Carter... She bares her soul to you and you are if anything using her more as your personal sex toy (yes, I loved that line lol). Amazing sex alone will not save a relationship. Never thought I'd say this, but I think Quinn is making a good desicion leaving for a few days. These two actually need to cool it in the bedroom department for a bit until they can work out their real issues. I feel like the relationship is becoming more and more about sex and less about the two of them. It's pretty dark in a way. Hopefully Quinn's absence will help a little.
Date: 05/12/11 02:03 am Title: Chapter 45: Her Diamonds
Can I smack Quinn? What she says definitely makes sense, but girl come on... It's so better to have loved and lost than to never love at all. No wonder she's so wigged out. All she can focus on in is that some day Nick may leave her involuntarily. That's part of life Quinn baby... Be happy for what you do have. Can you tell I'm getting back into this story when I am talking to your characters? Great work Darbs!
Date: 05/12/11 01:50 am Title: Chapter 44: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover
Yay. Glad that they are finally going to talk and hopefully just get it all out in the open, no more BS on either of their sides. They are definitely both overthinking this too much. Ugh, why can't they both just be? lol
And Quinn totally knew what she was doing leaving that bathroom door open... LOL *winks* On to read some more!
