***It's 2:30 a.m. Brian and Leighanne are sleeping peacefully in their bedroom when all of a sudden Leighanne hears glass shattering and a muffled shout coming from downstairs.***

Leighanne: "Brian!!!! Brian!! Wake up!!!"

Brian: *hearing Leigh's panic stricken voice, sits straight up in bed* "What!? Honey, what's wrong!?"

Leighanne: "Someone is downstairs Brian, I heard them!"

Brian: "Are you sure? Wouldn't the alarm system have gone off?"

Leighanne: "I'm not imagining this! I heard glass breaking and a voice!"

Brian: "Leigh go hide in the closet and call the cops!" *reaches under his bed and pulls out the key he has taped under the mattress, opens his nightstand drawer, uses the key to open a small metal box.*

Leighanne: "What are you gonna do? You aren't going down there are you!!??" *starts crying*

Brian: *withdraws a 9mm hand gun from the metal box* "Honey, please go hide and call the cops, I'll take care of this don't worry!" *says a quick prayer and thanks God that Baylee is staying over at his grandparents house tonight*

Despite more pleading and tears from Leighanne, and a horrifying realization that his phone is dead and hers is in her purse downstairs, he convinces her to lock herself in the bedroom closet.

Brian holds the gun in his shaking hands as he slowly and quietly creeps into the hallway and down the staircase.

Brian steps into the dark living room looking for the intruder. He is surprised to find nothing out of the ordinary. He then sees a dim light coming from the kitchen and hears a deep male voice mumble.

Scared as hell, heart beating wildly in his chest, Brian creeps up to the kitchen entrance, sees a dark clothed figure bent over with their head inside his refrigerator (huh, the refrigerator??) asking no questions, Brian raises the gun...

"FREEZE YOU BASTARD!!!"

The intruder jumped back, obviously very startled, a package of lunchmeat flying from his raised hands. The glowing light of the fridge illuminated the intruder's shocked face... Brian recognized him immediately....




Brian: "A.J.!!!???!!!"

A.J.: *eyes wide with shock* "Dude, is that a motherfucking GUN!!??"


Brian: *completely dumbfounded, but relieved* "Wha..?? What the hell are you doing here at this hour!?! You scared me and Leigh to death! We thought you were a burglar!"

A.J.: "Obviously! Shit, Rok, when did you grow brass balls?"

Brian quickly sets the gun down on the counter. He runs back upstairs to tell Leigh that everything is OK.
Leigh, extremely relieved, but pissed at A.J., refuses to come downstairs fearing that she may rip off a certain part of this man's anatomy in retaliation for scaring the living shit outta her and Brian.



Brian: "So, what the hell are you doing in Georgia at 2 in the morning?"

A.J.: "Me and Ro' had a fight. She kicked me out for a while. So, I decided to fly up here to visit my good buddy B-rok when all of a sudden I find myself staring down the barrell of a gun for making a fuckin' sandwich!"


Brian: "You should have called or given us some kind of warning that you were coming! Especially at this hour!"

A.J.: "Sorry dude! I figured I would just slip in without waking you guys. I know your alarm code after all, and get something to eat and crash in your guestroom. I tried to be very quiet, but...
*motions towards the floor*

Brian noticed the big jar of pickles shattered on the floor. That's what Leigh must have heard.

Brian: "Like a bull in a China shop, huh Aje?"

AJ: "Yeah, well that's the kind of thing that got me in trouble with Rochelle yesterday."

Brian: "How so?"

A.J.: "Well, I was sitting around the house bored as hell, so I decided to whip out my sword and play with it."

Brian: *snorts and giggles*

A.J.: "You perv! I mean my Samurai sword! Anyway, I was in total Kill Bill mode and I wasn't being very careful and I ended up tearing up her carpet with my sword."

Brian: *cheeky grin* "So, she is pissed because you tore up her carpet *giggle, snort* with your sword?" *tries to hold in laughter, but fails* "BWAHAHA *snort* AHAHA! "

A.J.: "Christ Rok! And people think I'm the dirty minded one, Jeez!"

Brian: "Well, I have to get some laughs in after I nearly had a nervous breakdown tonight! Thanks to you!"

A.J.: "Brian, why the hell do you own a gun? I hate those things, I can't even touch one!"


Brian: *sighs deeply* "Because all a criminal has to do is discover who lives in this big rich looking house and when they find out it's me and my family they will assume it's an easy job. They will have no hesitation in entering our home, robbing us, and possibly harming Leighanne and Baylee!"

A.J.: "But why would they assume it'd be easy?"

Brian: "Think about it A.J... the freaking stereotype! They'll see me as a short, God loving, prissy boybander with a heart condition and two very unthreatening dogs that look like cottonballs. They are gonna assume I'm a pussy that can't defend my home and my family. This right here *points to the gun* gives me equal or more advantage."

A.J.: "Wow, I didn't know you felt that way, Rok. I mean, damn, I knew you about went off the deep end when your other dogs were stolen, but I hate to see you so paranoid that you'd actually pack heat!"

Brian: "Yeah, well, I'm going back to bed, Help yourself to the guestroom Bone, and uhhh... *chuckles* don't be playing with your sword in my house!"

A.J.: *Flips Brian off as he watches him walk back up the stairs*


***THE NEXT MORNING***

Brian and A.J. are outside sitting on Brian's terrace having coffee while Leighanne has gone to her parents house to pick up Baylee.

A.J.: "I still can't believe you pulled a gun on me last night, man! You are totally gonna scare the shit outta some psycho if they break into your house! If I would have believed the gun was actually loaded, I would have been in serious need of a new pair of boxers last night!"

Brian: "Who said the gun wasn't loaded?"

A.J.: "Oh come on, don't kid me, man! I know you are desperate to protect your family and all, and I admire that. But, you wouldn't risk hurting a fly! I'm still shocked you actually went out and bought a gun, but even you aren't crazy enough to actually put bullets in the damn thing!"

Brian: "Oh yeah?" *gets up and goes back into the house, returns a couple minutes later with the gun in his hand. Steps up to the terrace ledge overlooking his many acres of isolated land.*

A.J.: "Dude, what the fuck are you do..." *is interupted by a deafening BANG as Brian fires a bullet resulting in a shattered tree trunk.*

Brian: *turns and looks over at a stunned A.J. whose jaw has hit the floor* "I know we talked about this last night, Bone. But, I forgot to mention one thing..."

"Here In Georgia... We. Do. Not .Fuck .Around."

A.J. learned a very important lesson that day... Do not underestimate the bat shit craziness of your small Southern friend... And most definately KNOCK before you enter the Littrell household unless you want a few more holes in your head.