Prologue

As I sat in the bleak room, surrounded by white walls, I couldn't believe I was actually there. Nurses came and went. Many asked me questions but I could never tell you what they said. Nothing was comprehended. In a matter of a year I had gone from wanting the man lying in the hospital dead to wanting to be with him until eternity. Now as he struggled for breath I couldn't hold back the fugitive tear that dripped down my cheek.

I studied his face, his strong jawline. Everything about the day we met came flooding back making everything other than his face fuzzy. The hospital walls faded away until I was standing in the middle of a track, my long honey colored hair blowing behind me...

Chapter One

I closed my eyes for just a moment, letting the smell of warm track invade my nostrils. The smell intoxicated me, engine fumes drifting from pit row tingling all of my senses.

"Krista?" I heard a voice call from several yards away.

I instantly recognized the voice as John's. Not only was he my crew chief but he was my current lover and future husband.

"Yeah?" I said, taking several steps towards him.

"You okay?"

I nodded in affirmation. He opened his arms as I easily let my self become engulfed in them.

"Tell me. Who do I have to keep my eye open for?"

"You know you have to keep them open for everyone." he said with a laugh. One glance into my face told him to keep the joking on the down low.

"All kidding aside you should watch out for this new rookie. He qualified this week first try. That's not easy to do."

I pulled away, my mouth set into a firm line.

"Name? Car? Number?"

"Name's McLean. I think he's driving for Smirnoff's. Forty-nine." John answered, his hands trailing down my arms.

I closed my eyes, smiling as sensation trailed through me.

"I'll kick his ass out there. The rookie will be sent home crying. No one's going to mess with my championship opportunities."

"That's right baby. NASCAR could use Krista Hemmings as the first female driver to win a championship. It's about damn time."

I smiled. Krista Hemmings, NASCAR champion sounded good. Great in fact. I had earned it. Three years of working myself up through the ranks until finally I gained some respect around my fellow drivers had taken all of the courage that I had built up and then some.

"Where's the rookie's garage? I want to go scope it out." I said, pushing the image of the championship trophy out of my mind.

"It's right between Johnson's and Sterling's." John said, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair.

"I'll be back."

Before he could object I moved past him, weaving around my own garage and into the mass of various little shops. The noise was at a deafening level, just the way I loved it. From each garage I could hear shouts of repairs and dirty jokes intermingling with various hush hush strategies.

Several minutes passed before I spotted the team colors of Johnson and Sterling. Right in middle was a smaller garage with an unfamiliar scheme. The rookie.

I inched towards it, unsure of what to do next. Spying was against NASCAR rules. If I should overhear a strategy and use it to my advantage in the next race...

"Check the shocks again Bill." a male voice said. Making a split second decision I decided to make myself known. I stepped into the doorway, my frame casting a shadow into the garage area. Everyone looked up, their eyes wide...and suspicious.

"Can we help you?" a mechanic said, wiping his greasy hands on a rag.

"I just wanted to greet the rookie." I said, my lips contorting into a half smile, half smirk.

"And who wants to meet him?" a voice called from the back of the garage. It took several seconds before the voice took the shape of an actual person. I knew the moment I saw him that he was the driver that would propel the car forward. He had a smugness about him...a typical rookie trait.

"Krista Hemmings. I drive Number 86." I said evenly. Extending my hand I stared into his dark eyes. He was a cross between the typical NASCAR bad ass and a playboy. I had to snicker just thinking how well he and Earnhardt would probably get along.

"Ahh Ms. NASCAR." he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I tossed my head back in defiance, my cold gray eyes staring into his own brown eyes.

"I just wanted to wish you luck on Sunday." I said, my voice semi-icy.

"Thanks. I won't need it." he responded, turning his back on me to share a chuckle with his crew.

"Don't be so sure." I responded. Before he turned back to face me I was gone.

____________________

"He's a pompous windbag John! How many arrogant guys do we need out on the track?" I fumed, flying down onto a folding chair.

"People have said the same thing about you. Especially your first year." John said gently. He came up behind me, his hands resting on my shoulders.

"Well I wasn't just talk. I'm action too." I said, bouncing up.

"From what I hear he's got plenty of action." John said, raising an eyebrow.

"Probably only between the sheets. He's in for a treat Sunday."

I smiled thinking about what he was in for.

A glorified beating.

Chapter Two

Sunday morning I leaned against my car, watching as my crew made last minute alterations. My heart began to pound wildly thinking about the long race ahead of me. It was one of the biggest races of the year, the very first actually: Daytona. Daytona International Speedway is a 2.5 mile track that seats more than 100,000 fans. Looking at the crowd I smiled seeing a section decked out in my car colors.

"God it feels great to have fans." I said outloud.

"You deserve them. It's about time Krista." John said, wrapping his arms around my waist. I turned into him embracing him tightly.

"See you in Winners Circle." I said with a grin as I kissed him lightly. He chuckled, returning my affection.

"See ya babe."

With that I slid in through the window, buckling up. John leaned in, securing the other safety devices almost all drivers wore. Hitting his hand on the top of the car I was signaled to start the car. Glancing in my rearview mirror I couldn't help but groan.

The fucking rookie was starting right behind me. Just perfect.

Starting fourth I was far enough up in the pack to see the pace car start up. Like a funeral procession myself and the other forty two drivers heading out onto the track. We went through the warm up laps, my car feeling terrific. I knew that it was as fine tuned as humanly possible. It would take me exactly where I wanted it to go: Winners Circle.

Twenty minutes later I saw the green flag. The real fun was just beginning. Shifting into high gear I began to accelerate. The day was warm, but luckily not horribly oppressive. Over the past three years I had experienced what intense heat could do to a track. Tires would stick on the asphalt and cars would begin to lose bearings and swerve dangerously. Today would not be that type of day.

The laps began to blur, one into another. Before I knew it I had moved back to twentieth and then in the next instant back up to second. Keeping a close eye on my gas tank and constantly keeping in contact with John through the radio we decided to take a chance on the fuel situation. One more pit stop and I would try to make it last for the rest of the race. It was a gamble but if it paid off the win would be ours.

At the last stop I shared a quick smile with my crew rushing around to give me fresh tires and a full gas tank. John blew a kiss as I peeled away and back onto the track. I was first. It was where I would be the rest of the race.

Or so I thought.

It seemed to happen so fast. With two laps to go I was relaxing, ready to gush out a victory speech. I didn't even notice McLean coming up behind me. He sailed along in my draft for a complete lap. With only two turns to go he slowly began to edge up on the side of me, going just a second faster than I was. All because of the damn draft. FUCK!

Before I knew what happened he had crossed the finish line barely a centimeter before me. I saw the checkered flag wave and McLean driving towards Winners Circle. MY WINNERS CIRCLE! The damn rookie had beat me. How could I have been so stupid?

____________________

"It could have happened to anyone Krista. He was just smart enough to get into your draft. You pulled the same thing on Labonte's car last year when you won Talladega." John said softly.

"John..." I said trailing off. Unable to continue I shook my head, walking off on my own. In the distance I could hear the party continue in Winner's Circle. The alcohol was flowing freely and I couldn't help but think how much more smug that damn McLean was going to be now.

"Not going to join the party?" a voice said. The warm breath tickled my ear. Turning around I stared into the smiling face of none other than the rookie himself.

"Don't you know it's not good etiquette to leave one's own party?" I said cooly, my hands clenching into fists.

"Don't you know it's not good etiquette to be such a bad sport?"

"Fuck off." I spat, turning around and walking quickly away.

"Why don't I not?" he said. I walked for several moments, my head lowered before I bumped into a human being. Raising my head I saw that he had jogged ahead of me only to block my path.

"Don't you have some Budweiser girls to screw or something?"

"You know I don't like your attitude. But being the nice guy I am I wanted to tell you that you did a helluva job out there." he said. His voice was syrupy sweet.

"Well..." I trailed off. I hadn't expected a compliment. Damn him for being nice! "Thank you."

"That is for a girl." he said with a smirk. I watched infuriated as he strutted off, his uniform framing his muscular body.

At that very moment I wanted to strangle him with a belt. As much as I tried I couldn't stop thinking about the asshole, even as I slid next to John. His lips moved along my neck but I shook him off.

"Tomorrow babe." I whispered, turning my back on him. "It was a bad day."

Closing my eyes tightly I tried to drift off. I'd be damned if I let the rookie ruin my beauty sleep.

He'd pay...next race.

Chapter Three

With three laps to go I was trailing the rookie by about two seconds. We were at North Carolina Speedway, a mile track that had been operational since 1969. There had already been three delays in the race, due mostly to rain. My tires were treading thin and my gas tank was pointing towards empty.

Seeing the flag that signaled the last lap I knew I had to make a split second decision. With a snicker I speed up...getting right into McLean's draft. I could feel my car sucking up the speed and energy and I let out an orgasmic whoop. Rounding turn two I pushed forward and we drove side by side for several moments. Turning my head slightly we caught each other's eyes, his burning with anger and mine shining with satisfaction. Giving him a curt nod I pulled forward as we neared turn three, taking four and easily passing the line before him.

My first win of the season. And it never tasted so good.

I did several donuts in the field before calming down enough to make it to Winner's Circle. McLean may have been able to gloat the week before but this time it as all for me. Up ahead I could see John, tackling various crew mates and tossing hats around like crazy. I laughed, eager to slide out of the car. I tossed my helmet aside, letting my hair cascade down my shoulders. Skidding to a stop I slowly slid out through the window, instantly being tackled by various well-wishers.

"You did it baby!" I heard him yell. An instant later I felt the cold sensation hit me. Gatorade dripped down my face and a champagne bottle was placed in my hands. Scrambling up on top of the car I threw back my head and yelled loudly, popping the cork and watching with glee as the bubble froth spilled from the bottle.

As more and more people came up to congratulate me I began to lose track of time. Just as my last interview was wrapping up I caught the sight of McLean coming towards the garage, swinging his helmet in his hand. He looked at me and for a second I thought he was going to stop and...say congratulations? But instead he just shook his head slightly, disappearing before I had a chance to utter a syllable.

"Thank you Krista, and congratulations." the reporter said with a smile. I returned the thanks and turned, knowing the first place I wanted to go was directly to the shower in my trailer. Stepping over all of the confetti and other celebratory trash I passed the garage and entered my small trailer. It was completely quiet, just the way I liked it. John had gone with the crew to get smashed at a local bar and I knew I had an enjoyable evening ahead of me.

Stepping into the small bathroom I turned on the water. Letting it warm up I went to the bedroom to scoop up some clothes. I slid off my driving outfit. The white tank I wore under it clung to my body, sticky with the sweat of the long race. I stripped completely, heading back to the bathroom. Once under the water I let out a sigh of relief. My neck muscles started to relax and I opened my mouth just gently letting the warm water run over my body.

I became so preoccupied with relaxing that I didn't even hear the door to the bathroom open. My eyes were squeezed shut, the water pounding my body sending me into a rhythmic trance.

"Congratulations." a voice whispered close to my ear.

With that my eyes flew open in fear. Turning just slightly I saw McLean standing right outside the shower, a smirk on his face.

"Fuck!" I screamed, turning off the water quickly and reaching for a towel. Wrapping it around my body I stepped out of the shower turning to face him. I could feel the warmth creeping into my cheeks.

"You don't just go barging into other people's trailers and coming in while they're taking a shower!" I screamed, grabbing the nearest object I could find - a bar of soap.

"Geesh sorry. I didn't get a chance to talk to you outside." he said, holding up his hands. I saw his eyes avert to the bar of soap. "What are you going to do with that? Clean me to death?"

"Listen...." I said, trailing off. I couldn't remember his first name.

"My first name's AJ." he filled in, hiding a smile.

"I knew that!" I snapped. Damn him for reading my mind! "Listen AJ I don't know what you got away with in the minors but your playing with the big boys now and--"

"You don't look like a big boy to me." he said in the same calm tone he had kept all through my rampage.

I blushed, my fingers clutching the bar of soap even tighter. My other hand clutched the towel.

"Don't you have some admirers to go fuck. I want to be left alone." I said, my voice frighteningly steady while inside my stomach was boiling.

"Yes I believe I do." he admitted, sliding a hand into his pocket. "But now that we're teammates I think you should try to be nicer to me."

I opened my mouth to protest but before I could he reached out with his free hand, pinched my ass and strutted out.

I'm in hell!

____________________

"Paul, please tell me what I just heard isn't true!" I said, placing my hands on my managers desk. It was late and yet he was still milling over papers.

"What is it that you've heard Krista?" he said calmly, tipping back in his chair.

"You did not just agree to manage to rookie. How in the wo--"

"Listen...you've been aware for some time that I want to put together a little family. Consider him your first sibling." Paul said, holding up a hand to keep my quiet. "Congratulations, you have a brother."

I shook my head, my lips trembling with rage.

"He's dreadful. I can't get along with him. He's arrogant, cocky, demanding---"

"You pretty much just named off everything that you are. You're going to be a match made in heaven. Help each other out on the track and we'll make out little family number one against even the big boys."

"The only help I'll give him is if he wants to attempt suicide." I spat, folding my arms across my chest.

"So be it Krista."

I nodded and turned to leave.

"Oh and one more thing."

"Yes?" I said.

"I'm making John their crew chief. Wesley just quit and since you and John are together it looks bad for him to be so emotionally and physically attached to his driver. I'm appointing Jerry Haliway as your new crew chief."

I faced him once more, my face ashen. I couldn't believe what I just heard.

"You can't be serious. John is the best damn crew chief out there and your taking him away from me? That's like telling me that you don't want me to win the championship."

"Krista you know that's not what I'm getting at. But it will be easier for you and John now that you don't have to mix your love life with your career."

I nodded...it was all I could do. All I could think was, Does John already know?

And if he did...would I forgive him? How could he keep something like that from me?

As I walked into the cool night air I shuddered.

Everything was falling apart.

Everything.

Chapter Four

"Baby I'm sorry I didn't tell you but---" John said, walking towards me in our hotel room. The dazzling city of Las Vegas was easily seen through the balcony doors. I had managed to avoid him for almost a whole week.

"Stop. Don't." I said, holding up a hand. "I don't want your two bit excuses. There isn't any reason on earth that you can give me that I'll buy. You're deserting me."

"I'm not deserting you baby."

"What do you call going to the dark side?!" I screamed, picking up a hairbrush and waving it wildly in the air.

"That was Paul's decision. Honey I'd never desert you. You're going to be my wife." he said softly, almost cooing.

"I'm going to take a walk." I said instead, grabbing my jean jacket.

"D--" he trailed off. "Don't be out long. You have a race tomorrow."

No shit. I thought as I closed the door behind me.

No fucking shit.

____________________

"It's got to be about 125 goddamn degrees out here." Jerry Haliway said through the walkie talkie, wiping his brow.

"If anyone should be complaining it should be me!" I said loudly. I could feel beads of sweat dripping down my neck and onto my already soaked shoulders. I was fourth and yet again staring at McLean's back bumper.

I saw him look into his rearview mirror and even though he wore a helmet I could tell he was grinning. Giving me the finger he sped up, passing Johnson to take second.

"Oh hell no. Fucking A!" I screamed, beating my palms against the wheel. Accelerating I came up on Johnson. I could see him glance in the mirror and the car began to sway. He was slowing down and I was unable to.

I braced myself for the inevitable and a moment later I heard the loud clunk of our two cars coming together. Johnson spun wildly forward, hitting the very rear of McLean's car. Caught off guard AJ spun, hitting the wall with a force that made me wince.

My own car had hit the wall, and yet I hadn't really felt a thing. Was it shock? I heard a slow trickle and I knew I had sprung a leak. Unfastening all of the safety devices as quickly as possible I managed to stumble out of the car right before flames began to spring up from the engine.

"You alright?" The EMT asked me as they forced me into an ambulance to check my vitals.

"I need to go back to my crew. I need to get back on the road." I said, shaking my head.

"From the looks of your car there's no way in hell you could get it to even go a tenth of a mile. Just sit tight Krista." The EMT answered.

Everyone's a damn expert, I thought. Don't quit your day job bud.

"What the hell did you think you were doing out there?!"

Raising my head I saw an EMT leading Johnson into the ambulance. His face was red with fury.

"Haven't you ever had one riding your ass before?" I spat.

"That was the worst excuse for racing I've ever seen!" he screamed.

"Chill out Johnson. Everyone makes mistakes." a voice interrupted. My jaw tensed at hearing the voice...McLean's.

"I didn't make any mistake. You guys need to learn how to drive better." I snapped. Standing up I brushed past them all and heading towards the garage.

It seemed to me that the moment I took one step forward there was always something that threw me three steps back.

And that something was AJ McLean.

____________________

I watched from a distance as Newman stood in Winner's Circle, grinning triumphantly. I had to admit he was cute...for someone already attached.

The moment I had walked into the garage I had received a lecture from Jerry. I would be lying if I had said that I didn't expect it. What I didn't expect was the lecture from John.

"That was the most asinine move I've ever seen." John snapped.

"Gee I didn't think you cared John." I had said sarcastically.

"Oh I care. You ruined my driver's chance of winning. You need to grow up."

With that he had turned and marched back to McLean's garage. I had walked in the opposite direction finding refuge between the corn dog and elephant ear stands.

"What are you doing hiding out here? Newman invited me to a party he's throwing. Come with me."

"Go away AJ. You've caused me enough trouble." I said coldly, staring straight ahead.

"That's too bad. This is Vegas baby. You may hate me but we're gonna live it up tonight."

With that he grabbed my arm and turned me around.

"Hotel Suite 3B. 8:00. I'll meet you at the door. Be there."

I watched infuriated as he walked off. And yet I knew I would be there.

Chapter Five

"You look great." AJ said, walking up towards me.

I had picked a silver backless tank and a pair of black hip huggers. With a nod of my head I acknowledged his compliment.

"Let's go." he suggested, grabbing my arm and leading me into the room.

I looked around in disgust. Barely clothed girls were plastered all over the room. So much for him being attached, I mused.

"You dance?" I heard AJ say into my ear. I nodded, trying not to look directly at him. With just the quick glance that I HAD stole I knew he was wearing a maroon t-shirt and khakis.

He pulled me towards him even though it was a fast dance. It had been awhile since I had actually been to a club let alone danced sexily. John, who was ten years my elder, never wanted to go to such places. That was the number one reason he wasn't at Newman's party. Uncertainly I began to swivel my hips to the music, my arms going around his neck. I continued to avoid his eyes.

"Am I that ugly?" he said just a minute into the song.

"What?" I said loudly, trying to be heard over the music.

"You haven't looked at me since I've arrived."

"Well..." I said, pausing. "That's because you're an asshole."

"And your a bitch. Your point being?"

My eyes narrowing I finally looked up at him. Meeting his eyes I saw his lips form a bright smile as his fingers pressed into my hips playfully.

"You better be nice to me at least for tonight. You almost killed me today."

"If I only had the chance." I declared, my nails sinking into the back of his neck. He pulled me closer, my breasts pressing against his chest.

"Well I don't think you should try to kill me until you've had me."

"McLean...even if I was the last woman on earth I wouldn't want you. Try talking to me again when you've chipped a little bit of your huge ego away."

With that I broke free of his embrace, weaving through the crowd and to the door. Right before I closed the door behind me I took one chance look back at him. I was surprised to see him following my every move...his eyes shining with...awe?
____________________

"Where have you been? I haven't seen you since after the race today." John said angrily. I knew the tone well. He had already had one beer too many and it was a little before nine.

"I stopped at Newman's party."

"Why...so he could fuck you?"

I dropped my purse quickly on the bed before walking towards him.

"How could you even say that? I'm wearing your damn ring!"

"Maybe I don't want you too. Your too damn immature Krista." he slurred, prying a cap off another Budweiser. "I'll admit your a hot piece of ass but you're also one world class bitch. I don't need to live with a nag for the rest of my life."

Ever so slowly I began to slide off the engagement ring. I rolled it along my palm for several seconds before throwing at him. It hit him right in the mouth and I couldn't help but watch with satisfaction as a tooth dangled precariously over the beer bottle before falling in with a soft 'plink'.

"You're right John." I said sweetly. "And I don't need to spend the rest of my life with a needle dick. Go to hell baby."

I grabbed my purse and my already packed suitcase, walking out of the suite that technically was mine. He could have it...I never wanted to speak to his filthy ass again.

"Marital problems?"

I paused, my back straightening up.

"What do you do AJ? Stalk me?"

I turned, looking down the hall towards him. He was leaning against the door to his suite, a self satisfied smirk on his olive complexion face.

"I think all of Vegas heard that argument. You got a place to stay?"

"I'm getting my own room."

"I have a spare bed. We're all leaving tomorrow anyhow."

"I'd rather sleep in an alley." I spat, turning around again.

I waited several minutes but he didn't respond. My curiosity getting the better of me I turned only to see that he had disappeared from the doorway. Yet...he had left the door open. Sighing deeply I walked towards the room and inside. I saw him already sprawled on his bed, still fully closed. His eyes were closed but I could tell he wasn't asleep. The corners of his mouth kept twitching.

"Don't say a thing." I ordered. Walking into the bathroom I changed, coming out and sliding into the spare bed without saying a word. The moment I saw him turn towards me I quickly rolled over so that he would be greeted with the sight of my back.

Before drifting off to sleep I couldn't help but wonder what had gotten into him. He was...being nice. Everyone knew that in NASCAR there was love...and there was war. Right from day one we had silently agreed that our relationship would be built on war.

But now...

I had no clue. All that I did know was that if he was using this as a ploy for the championship he had another thing coming.

It was mine. All mine.

Chapter Six

Rain pounded down fast and heavy as lightning zigzagged across the sky. I huddled miserably under the make shift tent that the crew had constructed in mere minutes. My car sat under a tarp, waiting to come to life at the very first sign of sun.

Atlanta Motor Speedway is an ultra-modern, multi-purpose venue that has drawn crowds from all over the United States. Not to mention that the gift shop is pretty damn cool too if I say so myself.

"Baby..." a voice said from behind me. My back stiffened but I refused to turn around.

"I don't want to talk to you John." I said coldly. With shaky fingers I reached into my bag, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. Placing one securely in between my lips I flicked on the lighter, feeling the warmth splash across my face.

"I didn't mean what I said. I was drunk...and seeing both you and AJ crash...that was like me losing twice over."

"You don't belong to us anymore. And you sure as hell don't belong to me." I mumbled, flicking my ashes into my hand. A gust of wind caught at my hair, snapping it back from my shoulders harshly.

I heard him sigh, his feet scuffing into the pavement.

"I want us to be man and wife."

"And I..." I said softly, finally turning around to face him. "Have lost all respect for you. Quite frankly I think I had fallen out of love with you a long time ago. Goodbye John."

He nodded, swallowing down an obvious lump in his throat. I saw his hands shaking as he turned around, going back into the torrential rains to his own camp.

"Goodbye to you." I whispered, inhaling the cigarette smoke deeply.

"Goodbye? I haven't even said hello you."

Looking up I saw McLean standing in front of me.

"What is this? A parade of men coming to call on me?" I said dryly.

"Babe..I don't call on women. If anything women come to me."

With that he sat down next to me, reaching down to grab a cigarette from my pack.

"Don't you have enough money to buy your own?"

"Well if I win another race I just might be able to afford a whole carton."

He leaned forward, striking a match on the pavement and in one swoop lighting the end of the cigarette. The end glowed brilliantly as he let it dangle precariously, staring out at the drenched fans and track.

"Why aren't you with your own crew?"

"Eh...I like to hang around with people with more curves." he said dryly.

"Well take a good look at ‘em clothed because you'll never see them in the flesh."

He remained silently and we sat there, neither of us talking, each of us lost in our own thoughts. After several minutes he finally spoke.

"Looks like the rain's letting up."

"It's too late to race. Looks like we'll be back tomorrow." I commented. Looking over at him I met his eyes.

"See you on the track."

He rose, grinding the cigarette into the ground with his shoe. I watched irritated as he strutted away.

"Like hell you'll win tomorrow." I whispered.

____________________

"Krista how does it feel to win two out of the first four races?" a reporter said, thrusting the microphone at me.

"It feels great!" I yelled, trying to be heard over the roar of the crowd and my own crew. "We're on our way!"

Raising my face to the sun I couldn't help but grin. From the moment I had slid into the car it seemed like nothing would dare to go wrong. Then add the fact that McLean had finished 25...the whole day was orgasmic.

"Big party planned tonight Krista?" another reporter asked.

"Hell yeah!" I screamed. I jumped down from the top of the car, safely into the group gathered around. I happily accepted the hugs from the pit crew and of course from Jerry. His whole attitude had changed once he saw that I was actually going to win and not crash. Imagine that.

After several hours of congratulations, signing autographs, posing for pictures and a dozen other various commitments I finally made my way back to the hotel. With only thirty minutes to get ready for my own party I knew I had to move fast.

And move I did.

____________________

The room was crowded with people...people I mostly didn't know. The music was deafening but the moment I walked into the room I instantly loved the atmosphere. Everyone turned to applaud and I graciously accepted the attention.

Ahh, it feels good to be alive, I thought with a smile.

After making a small speech everyone turned back to their own cliques and I was left to meander from one to the next, playing the host.

"Krista can you come up here?" a voice called from a small platform in the corner of the room. I didn't recognize the person but I laughed softly, heading up towards the stand. He held out a hand and I hopped up there, facing the crowd turned to look my way once more.

The lights dimmed and I looked around, confused. What the hell?

Everyone remained silent and before long I could feel the minutes dripping away. As I was opening my mouth to ask what was going on I felt two hands grip me, dragging me off the platform. Before I could open my mouth to scream a hand was placed over my mouth, the other hand leading me almost motionless through the crowd.

It was at that moment that I passed out.

Chapter Seven

I moaned. I felt the hand on my face...a masculine hand. The fingers brushed over my lips and I let out a soft sigh, my heavy eyelids trying to pry themselves open.

"Krista?" a voice whispered from above me.

Slowly a soft sliver of light made its way into my eyes. A dark shadow hovered above me and within minutes the shadow took the form of a man. AJ McLean.

"What did you do?" I groaned, squeezing my eyes tightly shut once more.

"I didn't do anything." he responded gruffly. "I saved you from the psychopath they let slip inside the party. They really do need to get some security guards in there or something. If I hadn't punched that fan in the balls he probably would have gotten away with you…especially after he totally blacked out the room."

My lips opening I shook my head, surprised at the agonizing pounding.

"Take it easy. Let me get you some water."

"Whiskey. Gimme whiskey." I said hoarsely. I sounded like a stranger.

"I called the doctor. He said you might have a mild concussion. When I tackled the guy he dropped you like a sack of potatoes."

"The race...I gotta get to the race."

"Kris...you won the race. We have a whole week before I beat your ass again."

"Like hell you will." I retorted, cracking a weak smile.

"Hmph. We'll see. Are you hungry?"

"No..." I licked my lips slowly. "Tired."

I didn't hear him respond but I felt his presence still in the room. After about five minutes I felt pressure on one side of the bed and felt his hand take my own. Already my mind was swimming, desperately searching for peaceful slumber. His lips met my forehead right before I was able to drift off.

____________________

"You'll be okay for Sunday's race. The moment you feel dizzy I want you to stop your car." the doctor said, staring down at me through his horn-rimmed glasses.

"Yeah I'm just gonna stop." I said sarcastically.

"If you don't you'll end up killing yourself and god knows how many other drivers. So either you swear on a Bible that you'll pull over or else I'll write up a note saying you can't race at all." he said.

"Fine. I promise. Thank you."

He nodded, turning around and heading out to consult with Jerry. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I heard Jerry assuring him about something, most likely taking me out of the race if I didn't look well. Fucking wimp.

I closed my eyes, ready to take yet another nap when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in." I sighed, scooting up into a sitting position.

The door cracked open slightly and McLean made his way inside. In his hands he carried a dozen roses and as always a self satisfied smirk.

"What are you doing here?"

"I think you'd be nicer to your knight in shining armor." he said in mock shock, placing a hand over his heart...or at least where his heart should have been.

"Yeah thanks."

"I brought you these." he continued, holding them out towards me.

"I'm allergic. Give them to one of your bimbos."

"I only have eyes for one bimbo baby. And that is ya-ou." he drawled, pointing his finger at me and growling sexily.

I couldn't help but crack a smile but I refused to laugh. I'd rather die than boost his ego anymore.

"Seriously these are for you."

I watched as he placed them in a vase, glancing down at me with his cocoa eyes. I met his stare, my lips placed together in a firm line.

"You're prettier when you smile."

"You'd be less annoying if I never had to see you again."

He grinned, sitting down at the end of the bed. I felt his hand curl around my foot and I jumped back. He held it firmly, ever so slowly running his palm against the bottom in a soothing circle. As hard as I tried to resist I found myself relaxing, leaning my head back against my pillow.

"That feels good." I admitted, stifling a comfortable moan.

"It's a specialty." he admitted.

I glanced down at him as he leaned down, nibbling my toe gently. I gasped, pulling my foot back yet he held it down with his firm grip. Slowly he began to lick up my leg and I felt my heart start to pound furiously.

"AJ..."

"Hey Krista." a voice said from the doorway.

I jumped at the sound of Jerry's voice, the pure momentum sending my foot flying...right into AJ's face. I watched in shock as his eyes rolled back in his head, right before he landed on the floor with a thump.

"Oops." I said meekly.

Well hell.

Chapter Eight

"Mr. McLean you have a mild concussion." the doctor was saying.

I looked over at AJ, lying in a makeshift cot right next to my own bed and I couldn't help but shake my head.

"I can race Sunday right?" he asked. I saw his head turn...his eyes throwing daggers my way. Smiling sweetly I closed my eyes, pretending to fall asleep.

"Yes but the moment you feel dizzy..."

"Yeah yeah."

"Are you two always this stubborn?" the doctor said in aspiration.

"Damn right. I'm tired. Thanks doc." AJ grumbled.

I heard the door close softly and the room became filled with silence.

"I'm sorry." I finally said.

"I bet you are."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

I opened my eyes once more and turned on my side to face his cot. He did the same, wincing at the simple movement of turning his head.

"You can't just suffer...you have to SHARE your suffering."

"It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't started feeling me up!"'

"Admit it Krista...you enjoyed it!"

I pressed my lips tightly together. I couldn't respond...all I could do was glare.

"You don't know what you're talking about. I'm tired."

"Yeah me too." he spat. "Why they ever let such a bitch in NASCAR is beyond my realm of thinking."

"Why they ever let such an arrogant, pompous man in NASCAR is beyond MY realm of thinking."

"You always have to have the last word dont'cha." he grunted.

"No I don't!" I yelled, tossing my pillow on his head. He didn't remove it and several moments later I heard a garbled snore.

Ugh!

____________________

Darlington Raceway in South Carolina is the most desirable race track for any NASCAR driver. The egg-shaped oval track has appropriately been nicknamed "Too Tough to Tame" by the best of the best in our field. As the pace car drove way leaving everyone to fight for themselves I couldn't help but think about the first time I had ever raced on the track.

It had been a temperamental day and the clouds hung heavy. My tires couldn't keep traction and the banking mixed with the odd track shape was throwing me completely off. I didn't go five laps before I had a wreck that took me out the rest of the race.

But I knew as I rounded turn two that this day would be different...much different. I was going to be added to the list of driver's that had actually conquered. Staring up at the cars in the front of the pack I silently chanted: Divide and conquer, Divide and conquer.

The greatest satisfaction was knowing that AJ was way back in forty-second. The cocky son of a bitch was thirty wonderful car lengths behind me. Adding in the fact that this was the first time he had ever raced on a track and powerful as this one and I knew for certain that I wouldn't even have to see him.

Pit stops had to be carefully picked. One wrong move and your coveted place could be taken, throwing you back as much as ten spots. Jerry kept screaming into the radio as I began to pick up places. With fifty laps to go I was in third.

"You doing okay Krista?" he called through the radio.

"I'm just fine. Where's McLean?" I said, stealing a glance into my rearview mirror.

"Don't worry about him today Kris...just worry about the win." he said so lowly that I could hardly hear him.

"Well where is he?"

"Stewart's coming up on your left. Keep your focus!" he screamed right before the radio cut off.

I managed to finish the race at a respectable fourth. I couldn't help but be disappointed in not finishing first but then again the season was only just beginning. There were at least thirty races left to complete before I got my trophy.

It was the only thing in the world I wanted. Before the season had even began I made a vow that the only thing in my life would be NASCAR.

To eat. To sleep. To breathe.

____________________

"Well Jerry. Where did he finish?" I asked the moment I stepped out of the car.

"Who?" he said, averting his attention to the tires.

"You know who. McLean!"

"He..."

"He's in the emergency bay." John said. I looked up in surprise, watching as John kept walking towards me.

"Oh."

"He began to feel dizzy and complained about his head so NASCAR informed us that it was in our best interest to get him off the track."

"Oh."

John looked at me. I knew he wanted to say something else but before he could I just shook my head.

"Thanks. That's all I wanted to know."

He nodded, doing a complete about face to walk back to his own crew.

I exhaled deeply, folding my arms under my breasts. Leaning my head back I stared at the clear blue sky. I couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I'll be back Jerry." I said without thinking.

"Where you going Kris?"

"I'll be back." I repeated.

"I have something to do."

Chapter Nine

"Knock, knock." I said softly, rapping my hand against the wood doorway of the emergency bay.

"Who's there?" AJ said.

"Open your eyes dumbass and maybe you'll find out." I said, trailing off towards the end. Be nice Krista, I told myself silently.

"Oh...hey it's you."

"I brought you something."

"Yeah?"

I walked towards his bed, one hand tucked behind my back. He watched with curious eyes as I walked to the bed, gently sitting on the end.

"You gonna give it to me? I'm not gonna lay here all night."

"Alright...geesh."

Bringing my arm out from behind my back I produced an 'I Survived Darlington' shirt. Right between the I and Survived I had taken black magic marked and put Almost in between. I watched as his lips almost formed a smile. Thinking twice he just smirked.

"That's really nice. Thanks."

"Yeah...no problem. Anytime. Well I don't mean anytime. Don't think that I like you or anything. Because I still don't." I said gruffly, clearing my throat and rubbing my neck awkwardly.

His smirk turned into a smile as he watched me.

"Oh of course not. I don't like you either."

"Well...I'm glad we settled that then." I said, standing up. Running my hands over my jean legs I nodded.

"See you at Bristol."

I turned, walking back towards the doorway.

"See you there sweet cheeks."

"What did you just call me?!" I exclaimed, turning back.

"I said...see you at Bristol fat cheeks."

I clenched my face, shaking my reddened face before marching out.

Prick.

____________________

The next Sunday fog crept in all morning long making Bristol Motor Speedway look ominous. Set in the great state of Tennessee, Bristol has the fine distinction of being the shortest track on the Winston Cup circus. Yet, it also has the highest banking which makes for interesting races for not only drivers but also spectators.

"Hey Jerry, you think the fogs gonna let up?"

"You betcha. By race time you guys will be flying in the sun."

"I hope your right Jer."

____________________

"Gentlemen start your engines!" I heard the familiar voice scream.

"Hey there's a lady on this fucking track you pompous asses!" I screamed. I knew no one could hear me. I was locked securely in my car...the only other person around to hear being Jerry on the other end.

I saw the checkered flag ahead and watched as the pace car left us to fight it out on the track. As Jerry had predicted the day was sunny albeit warm.

"Get ready for the long haul Kris. It's gonna be a helluva race." Jerry said over the radio.

"I was born ready Jerry. Let's do this."

Around and around the track I went, intermingled with the other 42 drivers. Every so often I caught a glimpse on McLean. One moment he was ahead of me and then the next moment he was caught way back in the pack.

"He's fresh meat for the old guys back there." I whispered, shifting into second gear.

The hours ticked by and finally the last lap came into view. McLean was gone...I hadn't seen him since the very last pit stop. I couldn't help but think how pissed he was going to be with the bad standings he was going to receive.

I sped up a little as I rounded turn two of the last lap. Smiling I couldn't help but think of the first thing that I wanted to do as I slid out of the car: head to the bathroom. My rookie year I couldn't understand how the guys did it but then I learned the secret...stay away from all beverages before entering the car.

"Kris don't try to rush. You'll finish six if you just stay steady."

"I know Jerry." I called out. Rounding the last turn I easily slid into sixth place. As soon as I crossed the line I looked out towards Winner's Circle and the field leading to it. My face twisted up in horror as I saw what was happening.

McLean spun circles in the grass, his arm sticking out the window and waving at some of his cheering fans.

"How the hell could he have passed me?!" I yelled, falling back heavily against the seat. My shoulders slumping I drove into pit row and to my crew.

"Jerry how did he pass me? Why didn't you tell me?" I said the instant I slid out of the window.

"Krista if I had told you I know you would have tried to go up in the pack and kick his ass and probably would have ended up quite a bit farther back. We'll get him next race."

"We better." I answered back, taking off my helmet to shake out my hair. Sighing I began to walk away, my head held high.

"Where you going?" Jerry called after me.

"Where do you think? The fucking bathroom."

Jesus. Men.

Chapter Ten

"All the rich investors are sitting their lazy asses in the VIP suites today Kris." Jerry said the following Sunday, shielding his eyes from the blazing sun at Texas Motor Speedway.

"Well I'm sure a few of our sponsors are sprinkled throughout those 194 skyboxes." I replied, wiping the back of my neck with a cool towel.

"Good luck out there. It's a hot bitch."

"Get a helluva lot of tires ready. I'm gonna be blowing them left in right." I said with a laugh, sliding into the car easily. Jerry leaned in, helping me to secure the restraints that I knew were the difference between life and death.

An hour and a half later we were well underway under the scorching hot sun. Getting the coveted pole I felt like God was on my side. Every other guy on the track was silently calculating poll points in their head, figuring out exactly where they needed to place. I knew most of them had the win in mind...a win they wouldn't get.

One thing I had learned since driving professionally was that driving at speeds of almost 200 mph required concentration. There was no ample opportunity to daydream on the track...any track. Avert your eyes for a moment and you could lose as many as ten spots before you knew what was happening.

Taking turn four I glanced down momentarily at my left hand, staring at the white strip of skin on my ring finger. Not so long ago my engagement ring had protected my hand, promising eternal love. Ha, what a joke.

____________________

"You let your mind float away that's how!" Jerry said with a shake of his head as we sat at the conference table two hours after the end of the race. I had finished sixteenth.

"I'll do better next week. It was inexcusable." I muttered, looking down at the light brown table where my hands lay.

"Get some sleep."

I nodded, standing up and stretching my arms high up in the air. He's right, I thought to myself. I needed to forget about John and catching up on my sleep did sound promising.

Heading out of the office and through the garage I stepped out into the still humid night air. The stars were out and the fans were long gone except for those diehard fans waiting to get a glimpse of their favorite drivers.

"Haven't gone home yet either?"

Leaning my head back I folded my arms across my chest letting out a soft sigh.

"I will never get away from you will I?"

"Nope. Even when I die I'll haunt you. That way I can see you naked and you won't even know I'm there if I don't want you too." he said sweetly before laughing.

"McLean..." I said before trailing off. Thinking twice I just shook my head, heading off towards my rented car.

"What did you want to say?"

I turned, staring right into his face, my own eyes burning into his.

"Nothing."

"Are you saying you don't want to sleep with me?"

"When pigs fly." I retorted.

"How about when I win the Brickyard?"

I laughed loudly, forcing myself not to snort. He's delusional.

"McLean...the Brickyard is mine. I was born and raised in Indiana and I know that track like the back of my hand. I won it last year and I'll win it again. I don't know where you're from but..."

"Florida."

"Okay. Well I can tell you for damn sure that if you haven't driven Brickyard at least fifty times you'll have no chance."

He nodded, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"So is it a bet?"

"What are you talking about?"

"If I win Brickyard you sleep with me."

I stared at him, a smile spreading on my face.

"And if you don't you have to stay the hell away from me. Got it?"

"It's a deal." he said, holding out his hand. Grabbing it I shook it, tossing my head back and laughing. He held my hand for several moments longer than necessary and I almost didn't pull away. Noticing the smirk spreading across his face I finally yanked my hand back, making a large display of wiping it on my shirt.

"Night." I mumbled, turning around and walking away.

"Sweet dreams!" he called after me.

You're damn right sweet dreams.

The thought of never being bothered by AJ McLean was just so tempting.

So tempting.

Chapter Eleven

"What do to the polls say Jer?"

"You and McLean are tied for first at the moment. But Kris you know that we're only at the halfway mark."

"I know." I admitted. "The next race is one of the most important to me. I have to rehash my game plan."

Races seemed to have flown by and McLean and I had done a good job of going back and forth with first places. But now we were back in my home state of Indiana and about ready to start my favorite race of the year: Brickyard.

I walked over to the car, running my hand over the chassis and couldn't help but get a rush. Even standing outside of my vehicle I knew just how I would make my turns and just how far to push things. At the moment the world was my oyster.

"Gentlemen." I said, turning to face my crew. "Start your engines."

With a wide smile I slid into the car, waving vigorously out the window towards the fans who I knew were straining through their binoculars to see the drivers.

Showtime.

____________________

"I can't believe this Jer. How the hell am I going to get past all these mothers?" I snapped into my headset.

"Kris there's no way you can win now. Just try to maintain your place in the pack and sail on through. There's only about fifteen laps now. You've only gained five spots in the past fifty laps. Traffic's thick baby just keep your chin up."

"J---" I began to say but then heard the click and knew that he was finished. Without saying a word he had pretty much told me in that statement that I should just concentrate on the road and accept my defeat.

I tapped on the wheel just anxious now to get out of the car and go hide. Yet it was at that moment that I had a sickening thought.

What if McLean's up front?

"Jerry? Jer?" I called to seemingly no one. The only answer I received was the sound of my engine and me shifting into yet another gear.

A half hour later I watched in disgust as AJ made his way into Winner's Circle. My first thought was that I had to leave Indianapolis Motor Speedway as soon as possible. I felt my throat closing up just thinking about AJ and the stupid bet we made.

Me and my fat ass mouth!

____________________

I lay on my bed, a bowl of popcorn beside me watching 'The Wedding Singer'. I hadn't seen AJ all night much to my great relief.

He's probably forgotten all about that silly conversation, I thought to myself as I threw yet another piece of popcorn into my mouth. Just as I did so I heard a knock on the door.

"Food!" I squealed softly, sitting up quickly. Grabbing a robe to throw over my nightgown I opened the door, a wide smile on my face.

The smile left as fast as it appeared.

"Didn't think I forgot didja?" AJ said, leaning in the doorway.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." I said faking innocence.

"I see. Well let me take you back." he said, brushing past me and into the room. My face flushing with annoyance, I slowly closed the door behind him.

"Let me take you back to a hot Texas day when you told me that if I won the Brickyard 400 that you would sleep with me. And then I agreed to your condition that if you won that I would never talk to you again."

"Hmph. Yeah...must have slipped my mind."

"Well honey, I won and you lost. So..."

I watched as he put the popcorn on my nightstand, gracefully flying back on the bed. He smirked, placing his hands behind his head.

"Well what are you waiting for?"

My back stiffened as I watched him. Taking a deep breath I narrowed my eyes into slits before smiling softly. Letting my lips part slightly I slowly undid the robe.

"Yes. What am I waiting for?"

Chapter Twelve

I let my robe slide to the floor as I stood there in my spaghetti strap silk nightgown. His smile spread as he watched me. Without showing any emotion I crawled beside him, staring unamused into his eyes.

"Aww c'mon baby it isn't going to be that bad." he said, suppressing a giggle. He turned towards me, resting his hand on my hip.

"A bet's a bet. Let's just get it over with." I replied, lying down on the bed like some corpse who had been kept in cold storage overnight.

He reached over, turning my face towards his. I didn't crack a smile...didn't move a muscle. I could see the confusion swirling in his eyes as he leaned down to kiss me. A second later his lips were on mine but purposely my own lips were like rubber, tight and unmoving.

I could feel his annoyance building and just at that moment I heard the knock on the door. He pulled away, licking his dry lips.

"I'll get it." he said slowly. Glancing at me with an eyebrow arched he got up, making his way to the door.

The minute his back was turned I ran into the bathroom, closing the door softly besides me. Sliding out of my nightgown I put on my corset lingerie and applied my makeup.

It was a plan that I had come up with en route to the hotel after the race. I knew that AJ was expecting me after one kiss to become some bimbo, weak to his powers while he took control. But there was no way in hell that was going to happen. My name wasn't Krista Hemmings for anything. The tables were going to be turned.

____________________

"Um..." I heard AJ say twenty minutes later. I sat on the edge of the bathtub with a huge smile on his face. Making him wait was just step one.

"Are you coming out?"

"Just a minute. Can you close your eyes?"

"What the hell? Okay...sure." I heard him grumble. "Fuck." came the whisper under his breath a second later.

Slowly opening the door I snuck past him without making a sound. His eyes were closed, his hands at his sides. Ever so slowly I wrapped my own arms around him, my hands sliding down his chest like soft petals. He exhaled in surprise, his muscles tightening.

"Sorry it took so long." I said in a sweet voice. "Just had to come to terms with..." I trailed off walking in front of him. "losing."

I dragged out the word as I pushed him back on the bed. His eyes were mixed with so many different emotions; loss, confusion and much to my delight: stupidity.

"You know I've never had sex with a fellow driver." I remarked, sliding on top of him and looking down at his horny face. I smiled even wider as I ground against him, drumming my fingertips along his chest.

"There's a first time for everything." he stuttered, his hands trailing the top of my corsette.

"Yes there is." I purred. Leaning down I licked and nibbled his earlobe, trailing down to his neck and finally to his nipples. He let out a groan of pure impatience and I felt his nails digging into my sides.

"You like that?"

"Oh god, yes. But...I should be on top."

That's what you think, I thought. I didn't reply, instead just shaking my head. Sliding down flush against him I brought my corset down, pressing my breasts against his bare chest. His hands eagerly accepted them, playing with them like a little boy who finds a toy train under the Christmas tree.

Slowly I slid my hands down his body until finally my fingers secured the waistband of his boxer briefs. Inch by inch I brought them down, already feeling him underneath me.

"Fuck." he moaned. I could feel him trying to turn over and place me underneath him but I pressed my legs deep into the bed, securing myself where I was.

"Let's go baby." I urged. Sliding down my panties I looked into his eyes for a split second. I paused, completely frozen. There was something I saw in his eyes that I had never expected: respect.

Ever so slowly I felt my legs relax, my arms falling free of the brace I had on the bed. In one swift move he rolled onto me, kissing my face...my neck. It felt delicious and I chastised myself for becoming weak...for letting my plan fray. I was supposed to leave him wanting me and yet never able to get in me.

But now he was in me and it felt so gratifying. My nails dug into his back as we got lost in our own unique rhythm. His animalistic cries only sent me higher into my own ecstasy as his lips met mine and we were racing on the same track, side by side.

"Don't let go." he whispered, breathing heavily.

"I won't." I murmured next to his clammy skin. "I won't."

And for once in our confusing relationship neither of us wanted to finish first.

Chapter Thirteen

The morning sunlight filtered through the heavy curtains and I squinted. Half asleep, half awake I was still utterly exhausted. For a moment I forgot why until I opened my eyes. AJ was curled up to me, his head resting on my chest, an arm draped across me holding me to him securely. I tried to resist a smile but as hard as I tried I just couldn't.

Leaning over I kissed his forehead, snickering softly.

"You're going bald McLean." I whispered.

"Fuck you." he muttered. I smiled, just knowing that he was semi-awake and would be able to hear me.

"I did that last night. Let me up I have to take a shower."

"Why?"

"Because I smell like ass. Now c'mon." I said, unable to suppress a giggle. Finally he grinned, raising his arm so that I could slid up. My feet hit the soft carpet and I looked back at him once more. He smiled at me before his eyes became transfixed on the ceiling, his hands sliding behind his head.

I stepped into the shower, squealing as the cold water dripped onto my body.

"Fucking shower." I muttered, turning the knobs mindlessly.

"No like this."

AJ's hands slid onto the dials, turning them in a manner that within seconds comfortable luke-warm droplets pelted my body. I moaned in pleasure, nodding my head slightly. I knew he was there...with me and I couldn't help but think of how he had walked into my bathroom in my trailer and the exchange of words that had occurred.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" he said, his arms wrapping around my body.

"That day." I said with a laugh.

"Yep...that day." he agreed, kissing my ear.

"Don't you have some admirers to fuck?" I said mockingly.

"Yes I believe I do." he replied, reaching down and pinching my ass.

Ahh, what a romantic moment.

____________________

"Ahhh life at the Glen." Jerry declared, opening his arms wide.

"Gotta love road races." I replied with a grin. It was a perfect Sunday...sun shining, every seat taken by die-hard fans...the kind of day every driver loves.

As a 2.45 mile road course, Watkins Glen it is at times called NASCAR's most boring. Yet ask any driver and you'll hear dozen's of stories that don't come near boring. Even though wrecks aren't as common as with deep banking tracks, the wrecks that do occur can be memorable.

"Time to get going." I said. Hugging Jerry I gave the thumbs up to my crew, sliding into the car. Fixing my rearview mirror I saw AJ sliding into his own car. He was starting fifth, while I took fourth. I giggled, seeing him wave cheesily at me before putting on his restaurants.

"I'll be the one waving goodbye to you on the track." I whispered under my breath.

____________________

"I think I'm getting car sick." I said out loud, not realizing that my radio contact was on.

"Well puke after you win Krista. You're doing great. Second place is at least a few seconds behind you."

I smiled, taking another turn. Road courses for me were absolutely relaxing yet all of the turns were stomach turning after a hundred plus laps.

"Hey Kris?"

"What is it Jer? I'm trying to keep my attention on the race here."

"Do you want the Ketchup song played at your party tonight?"

I burst out with laughter, trying hard to keep my eyes open enough to see the road.

"Fucker. Shut up."

I clicked off my contact, something I rarely did and focused all my attention on my surroundings. I easily took the checkered flag. Waving out the window I smiled, seeing AJ coming in second. Glancing in the rearview mirror all I could do was snicker as he tapped the rear of my car with his own.

And for the first time I knew it wasn't out of anger.

Driving to Winner's Circle, I slid out of the car, screaming in delight.

"Winner's Circle is becoming like a second home to me!" I shouted out. My crew erupted in cheers and from nearby I heard the sound of a champagne bottle being popped. In seconds a bottle was being thrust at me and I quickly scrambled onto my car, releasing the froth from the jar.

"Let's talk about the polls. Your at first point with McLean trailing seventy points behind you. How does that feel?" a reporter yelled out of the crowd.

"That's not enough of a lead for me!" I screamed back down into the group. I heard laughter and even more cheers. Turning towards the garages I saw AJ leaning against his car smiling with amusement.

His smile grew even bigger as a brunette snuggled under his arm.

And my smile disappeared.

Chapter Fourteen

"Would you talk to me?" AJ snapped hours later. I heard his forehead hit my hotel door but I just turned my back on it, facing the balcony. Why shouldn't I brood? I thought angrily, the corners of my mouth folded downward.

"Open up. C'mon what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?!" I exclaimed, turning back to face the door. Just the thought of him on the other side of the door pissed me off. "How can you even say that you two timing no good fucking asshole?"

For several seconds all that greeting my outburst was silence. Then, ever so quietly, I heard him sigh.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Why don't you go ask your brunette bimbo?" I said bitterly.

"Brunette bimbo?"

"Ugh!"

Falling back against my pillows I covered my face with my hands, blowing warm air between my fingers. Men, I thought with disgust. They're all pigs.

"Brunette---that was my cousin!" AJ finally exclaimed with a laugh. "You mean after the race? Jesus she lives near Watkins Glen and she came to the race to see me."

"Don't lie to me AJ." I said. Even so I slid my hands down from my face, glancing once more at the piece of wood that separated us.

"I'm not. Her name is Ashley and compared to you she's the Bride of Frankenstein. Now would you open up?"

Getting up slowly I padded to the door, opening it just a crack. His hands were braced on either side of the door, his head resting on it just like I had imagined. Hearing the low creaking, he looked at me with two sad brown puppy eyes.

"You're telling the absolute truth?" I said, folding my arms under my breasts.

"I swear on the Bible."

Nodding I stepped back, opening the door a little wider.

"Than you may come in."

He walked in and I stared at him and couldn't help but feel bad. Krista you promised yourself that you would never feel bad for a man, I silently chastised myself. Yet, I couldn't help myself.

"You're crying." I heard him say but all I could do was shake my head.

I felt his arms wrap around me and for the second time in weeks I let my walls down. Burying my face in the crook of his neck I sobbed. I sobbed for all the childhood memories that still were housed in my brain...the sound of my mom flying against the wall and the feel of dad's leather belt across my neck. And then I saw my brothers tan handsome face smiling at me from the hospital bed.

"Live my dream." he had whispered, placing the keys of his racecar into my hand as my fourteen-year-old face had been made of stone...unable to cry any longer.

"I'll win it for you." I had whispered, squeezing his hand as he took his final breath.

"I'll win it for you." I whispered out loud. And I cried harder...cried for the love of a man who I thought was going to be my husband...who had taken my virginity and my childhood and had falsely given me dreams. John who had promised to by my knight in shining armor...the man who I had given myself to for a chance at the NASCAR circuit.

Each moment in my life flew through my mind as I tore each piece of the wall down. I didn't want to keep everything bottled up inside...I wanted to free myself from the chains that bound me to the darkness.

More than anything I wanted to step out into the light.

____________________

"...and I saw her and I couldn't stand the thought of losing someone else. I don't like to be vulnerable." I whispered shakily.

AJ and I were curled up on my bed, dozens of Kleenex crumpled up on the floor. My body trembled as all the words ran out of my mouth like an overflowing cup. At any moment I was sure that my heart would break.

"I knew you were someone special. Everyone calls you the Ice Queen and I guess in my own twisted way that's why I wanted you more than anything. You and me share more than you know."

"How could that be?" I mumbled, licking my dry lips.

After several moments he began to talk...to weave his own tale. Growing up fatherless and watching his mother struggle for every crumb of food. Working full time while going to school just to afford his first racecar. Being an outcast...having his heart broken. All this and more made me realize just why we were the way we were: so angry at each other because we had so many similar experiences.

We held each other through the night. Each of us whispering memories as they came to us. Listening...and understand...

And finding out that we were soul mates after all.

Chapter Fifteen

"It's a beautiful track." AJ said the next week. His arms were around me as he stared out at the track from our little hiding space away from the rest of the whole world.

"Yes it is." I whispered, leaning my head back against his shoulder. His lips grazed my neck and I couldn't help but smile and snuggle even closer.

Michigan International Speedway, as one of motor sports' premier facilities, proudly flaunts its wide racing surface and high banking. At any time three and four abreast racing become as routine as the checkered flag signaling the end of the race. And today we were here...no longer enemies but still opponents.

Even as I sat on his lap I was playing out my own strategy. If you went too far to the left or right it could mean the difference between first and tenth. Living exactly between the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and Michigan International had given me the opportunity to race on both of the tracks often. I could almost feel the vibrations of the car on the track, making the turns.

"We better get back to our cars." AJ whispered in my ear, tickling it gently.

"I'll see you after the race." I replied.

Turning around I placed my hands gently on the side of his face. Leaning towards him I let my lips touch his own as he embraced me.

"Good luck." he whispered as I slowly stood up.

"Thanks." I smiled. "I won't need it."

Walking off I suppressed a giggle, tossing my hair over my shoulder.

"BIATCH!" he yelled after me. Flipping him off I headed straight towards my car and crew.

"Ready Kris?" Jer said, cracking his knuckles. "You feeling okay?"

"I sure am. Why do you ask?"

I watched quizzically as he cracked his knuckles, shrugging his massive shoulders. He wanted to say something and I knew damn well what it was.

"Just say it." I prodded.

"McLean's a trick sonofabitch. He'll do anything to narrow his lists of opponents. Don't let yourself get caught up in the game."

My jaw tensed as I listened to him. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath.

"Jer...let me tell you something right now. There is a major line between my profession and my private life. Right now it's all business. Kapish?"

"Kapish girl." he said with a nod, holding up his hands. "Just do me a favor okay?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Get in the fucking car and win this race for us."

Laughing I reached for my helmet. Saying a quick prayer I slid into my car ready to begin yet another race.

____________________

"Third place wasn't bad J." I said, setting my fork down. Dabbing my mouth with a napkin I flashed him a bright smile.

"Sure. You can say that. Considering you got second!" he exclaimed. His eyes narrowed, yet they sparkled with youthful playfulness.

"Aww I'm sorry. Better luck next time." I said with sweetful dryness, taking another bite of steak.

"Well I'll let you enjoy it. Next week when I win you'll be the one groveling."

"Ha. I don't grovel."

"Yeah right. But tonight..." he trailed off, folding his napkin and tossing it on the table. "I plan to give you the Winners Circle special. Even though you only came in second."

"Winners Circle special huh?" I replied. I watched as he pushed the chair back from the table. He patted his lap, a smile spreading across his face.

"Yessss?"

"Come here." he said, reaching out for me. Standing up I took his hand, letting him glide me towards him. Straddling him I settled down on his lap, leaning against his chest.

"You feel good." he purred. His hands slid under my blouse, his fingers brushing against my nipples. I surprised a giggle, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Let's go someplace more comfortable." I suggested, placing my mouth on his, drawing his lips into my own and shivering at the effect as it took hold of me.

"I'm taking you right here." he said simply. He pressed his lips against mine hungrily, resting his hands on my bottom and grinding me into his lap.

For a second all thoughts went out of my mind. I felt his hands slowly unbutton my jeans and I got up for a second, allowing them to fall to the floor.

"Mmm." I heard him whisper. He pulled off my panties and standing up quickly dropped his own pants. Sitting back down he patted his lap.

"You're serious? On the chair?"

"Right here right now."

I laughed softly, sliding back down on his lap. Never in my wildest dreams would John have ever wanted to have sex on a chair. But I wasn't with John. I was with AJ.

The craziest fucker in the world.

Chapter Sixteen

The weeks flew by and races came and went. Before long AJ and I were neck in neck for first place. Unfortunately at the moment he was in first with me twenty points behind. Yet, as I swung my arms from side to side, limbering up before having to sit for three hours I knew that the tables were soon to be turned.

Out of the past six races AJ had won four and I had won two. The two I had won AJ had been in wrecks, put far back in the pack after spending a large amount of time in the pits or even in the garage.

"Ready for the race?"

I cringed. It was John.

"Can't you realize that I don't want to talk to you?" I snapped, turning on my heels.

"Well I figured that I'd just say good luck. You always were good at Talladega."

I sighed, shrugging slightly. Talladega, set in beautiful Alabama, is the biggest, fastest and most competitive motor sports facility in the world. Records for both speed and competition have been established right where I stood.

"Anyhow...I gotta go give this check to McLean. He won our bet fair and square. I had my money on you honey...I really did."

My stomach knotting up, I turned slowly to face him.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"The bet. McLean bet me a grand that he could distract you so much that he could easily win at least four of the last six races. Is he really that good in bed? The way he's been talking it sounds like you've turned into a slut. Maybe you could have sex with me on a chair too. Let me get o---"

Resisting the urge to vomit, I turned, running quickly away. I didn't know where to run to but the anger burning in me was like that I had only known once before in my life...when my father had killed my brother. And now I was the one that wanted to do the killing.

I had opened up to him. AJ McLean knew all about me and I had been stupid enough to believe that he cared. And yet now I knew. It was all some sick joke to gain some money and get higher up in the polls.

"I'll burn in hell before I let him win." I whispered through gritted teeth. "I'll win it for you, Tony. As my brother you were the only man that really cared about me anyhow."

I stayed in a dark corner in the woman's bathroom for over a half hour...my eyes misted over yet I refused to let the floodgates of tears break open.

"Krista?"

It was Jerry. I knew it must have been getting down to crunch time. There was no way in hell he would walk into a women's bathroom otherwise.

"I'm here." I choked out in a voice that seemed void of everything. I didn't sound like myself.

"Let's get going. We have a race to win." Jer said uncertainly. I heard the door close and again I was alone.

"Yes." I whispered, my hands clenching into fists. "I have a race to win."

____________________

I hovered over my newspaper the next morning. My name looked so good and I couldn't help but continue stare at the first two standings:

1.) Krista Hemmings
2.) AJ McLean -65

"Krista?" Jerry called from the other side of the door.

"Yeah?"

"Why is your phone off the hook?"

I sighed, leaning back against the wall. What could I tell him? I didn't want to even utter McLean's name. It made me sick.

"AJ's been to my hotel room like twenty times. Your not answering the door either. What's up?"

"Why don't you ask John?" I said. Gritting my teeth I chastised myself for sounding slightly hysterical.

"Krista...what's going on?"

I didn't respond. Instead I headed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Turning the faucet handles I jumped into the shower, fully clothed. It was only at that moment that I began to cry. I hated the thought of tears...I hated everything about crying and yet lately that's all I was able to do.

It was at that moment that I wanted to hurt myself. Looking around I grabbed a razor, popping out the metal blade. I dangled it over my wrist for minutes, staring as the water droplets slid off either side, dripping onto the floor. Shaking my head I yelled loudly, tossing the implement across the bathroom to the opposite wall.

Falling silent I slid along the shower wall, sinking into the tub. Lowering my head I just let the water run, washing away my own tears and creating their own.

Cry for me, I thought miserably. Cry for all the lost souls.

Chapter Seventeen

It was four a.m. Four fucking a.m. and the voices outside in the hall wouldn't shut up. Trying excruciatingly hard to stay asleep I found with my curiosity. I knew that my mind wanted to absorb what was going on but my body wanted to sleep. Unfortunately after several more minutes my mind began to win out.

"What the fuck did you say to her."

"Let me go. You can't pin your crew chief to the damn wall."

"What did you say? She told Jerry that we should ask you."

A gargled response came from the other voice. Sitting up I rubbed my eyes, trying to figure out where I was and what the hell was going on.

"John...I'm giving you five seconds before I rip the balls away from your body and feed them to a dog."

"Okay...I'll tell you."

Silence.

Getting up slowly I wrapped a robe around my body, inching towards the door. I heard a low voice and I knew it must be John's. And the other person? Only one person came to mind: AJ.

But why would he be arguing with John? He knew about the bet...hell he made it. He probably got the check before he even slid into the race car yesterday.

"Check...doesn't belong...horrible couple. Love her...my wife." I heard as I pressed my ear against the door. What? I thought.

"You asshole. Are you that pathetic that you have to make up lies and ruin peoples lives? She told me what you did to her and it made me sick. When you first came onto my team I considered you a friend but now we're only a business relationship you got it?"

"Y..yes." John stuttered. "I need to get back to---"

"To what your whore? I don't think so. You're going to tell Kris just what you told me."

I backed away just as the knock sounded on the door. For a second I was tempted to tell the two men on the other side to go away. But I was curious.

Opening the door a crack I squinted my eyes against the light that drifted in from the hallway. I could see John's nose dripping blood and AJ looked animalistic with one hand tightly gripping the back of John's shirt.

"He has something to tell you." AJ said softly to me as he pushed John roughly into the room.

"What is it?" I said. "I don't particularly want to see anyone right now." I added, licking my lips nervously.

"Oh okay." John said, turning around. He ran straight into AJ's arm which blocked the doorway.

"Tell her." he commanded, a growl erupted from his throat.

John turned back to face me, a hand sliding across his neck.

"Our conversation yesterday..."

"Yes?"

"There was no bet..."

I sighed softly, folding my arms across my chest. Was AJ just making him say that? Or was it the truth?

"I see." I said simply.

"Show her." AJ commanded.

His hands trembling, John produced his checkbook. Opening it he handed me the check I had seen...same number and all. Across the top was written in black magic marker VOID.

"And?"

Sighing he also handed me the checkbook. Flipping it to the register I saw that no other checks were made in that amount or anything near it.

"Now what do you say?" AJ pushed.

"Sorry." came the mumbled reply.

I stared at the man in front of me...if you could even call him that. At one point of time John was my knight in shining armor. Now he was just a shriveled, aging man with a pockmarked face and perverted, hungry eyes.

"Asshole." I spat. Without thinking twice I raised my knee, hitting him squarely in the groin. He opened his mouth in a silent scream before double to the ground.

"Thanks for taking care of that for me." AJ said with a sheepish grin. Picking the anguished man off the floor AJ opened the door wider, kicking him out. Closing the door AJ turned to me, masked in shadows.

"And now it's my turn to say I'm sorry." I said quietly.

He just shook his head as he took a step towards me. Walking up to him I embraced him, kissing him softly before whispering my regrets.

"No regrets." he said, shaking his head.

"I really am sorry though." I mumbled.

"I know. Listen let's just get this season over with. I have plans for us on break." he said, running his hand through my hair.

"Plans?" I said with a slow smile.

"Plenty of them. After I win the championship of course."

"You mean after I win the championship."

"Ehh...that took." he replied with a shrug.

Together we laughed.

Chapter Eighteen

The last race of the season began with AJ and I neck in neck for first place. We had done a great job of keeping our relationship separate from work, going as far as exchanging heated words after the race at Martinsville Speedway. He had sent my car into the back of the pack by tapping my rear before sailing on towards first.

But today...today was a winner take all race for the finish. There would be no taps...I was prepared for anything. Homestead-Miami Speedway was a favorite of mine and I was completely focused. Even if neither of us won I knew that I had to finish at least one spot ahead of McLean for the win. And he knew it too.

"Ready Kris?" Jer said over the transmitter as we followed the pace car.

"I've been waiting all my life for this day." I declared, my jaw set in a firm line.

"So have I babe. All of NASCAR has been waiting for this moment. The first woman driver to take home the Championship."

And with that it began. The long grueling race. The pent up emotions. The lap leaders changed more often than any of the men on the track changed their underwear. Their were blown tires and blown engines not to mention the hot sweaty faces of the determined drivers. Through all this there was one thing that kept us all going...the love of the chase.

For the first time since the beginning of the season I didn't ask once where AJ was. The only thing in my direct line of vision was the track and the drivers all around me.

Halfway into the race I spotted Gordon spin and hit the wall. Seeing his car sliding sideways I swerved expertly, narrowly missing the collision. Of course the driver I had swerved around wasn't so lucky.

"You okay Krista?" Jer said moments later.

"Just fine. That was a good wake up call. Get the boys ready for my next pit stop."

By lap 250 I had gained enough momentum to push me up to third. The moment I had cleared around fourth into the stop I knew who was in front. The back of his car was unmistakable and even though I should have been mad I just smiled.

AJ had made it to first. And somehow I had known all along that's where he was going to be when I finally got up far enough.

Lap after lap we went around the track...me never leaving third. Every time I rode up behind second place to get into his draft he went up high or went low and I never wanted to risk doing the same.

"Don't be a hero. You're doing just the right thing Kris. Come on in for the last pit stop."

Rounding the turn I followed McLean and second in. My crew couldn't have been faster; my pit stop only lasted fifteen seconds. As I pulled out an overwhelming thought occurred to me.

I had gotten out first. I was in the lead.

____________________

"One more lap Kris! One more!" Jerry screamed. I laughed.

"Jesus Jer. I know that. I'm the one fucking driving remember?"

"Just keep your attention on the road. I'm shutting up now."

Rounding turn two I felt my body relax. Mark Martin had taken up second place and wasn't up far enough to pass me.

Turn three and turn four came and went. And that's when I saw it...

The finish line.

My car flew over it and it didn't even hit me that I did what I set out to do. The championship was mine.

I drove into the field, popping out my window to absorb the cheers from the crowd.

Silence.

I stopped the car in confusion. Why aren't they cheering? It was at that moment that I heard it...

The emergency vehicles.

Leaving the car in the grassy field I slid out, turning towards the track. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I saw the flames licking at the car...or what had been a car. The hood was up into the windshield. It wasn't a car anymore...it was an accordian.

An emergency worker leaned in the car. It seemed to take hours for him to finally straighten up. I saw his face up close...I hadn't realized I had run right up to the scene. The worker turned towards me, his eyes void. I opened my mouth but didn't hear my screams. They were screams I knew were real but my ears were closed off to the world.

I looked towards the car and I could see the arm hanging lifelessly, the fingers still curled around the bent wheel. The helmet his the face...the face I knew still had a smile on it.

It was AJ McLean. Alex...the asshole...the prick...the rookie. The gentlemen...my lover...the one that cared. He was in the car and I was being dragged away and through it all I kept thinking...

Why wasn't he wearing his safety device?

Epilogue

"He's going to live." a voice said, breaking through my cloud of memories.

Looking up I saw Jerry. He held his hat, his head bowed to his chest. His massive shoulders sagged and I could tell he was trying to cry.

"Why..." I croaked out. "Why...How? How could this happen?"

"You haven't heard?"

I shook my head, putting my focus onto AJ. His head was bandaged...his arm in a sling and a million other things were wrong...and yet I almost expected him to sit up and tell me to stop fucking sniffling over him.

"John tampered with the equipment and he fitted the safety devices wrong. The moment the car crashed everything malfunctioned."

"Why did he crash?" I whispered. Leaning down I let my lips fall against AJ's frozen face...a face usually so full of different emotions.

"Faulty breaks. John did something with them on the last pit stop. That's why AJ came out so far back."

I nodded, an inner rage boiling.

"He's going to get what he deserves Kris."

I looked up at him, my gray eyes icy.

"He's going to burn in hell for what he did." I said flatly. "Can you give me a minute?"

Jerry nodded, walking out to where practically the whole NASCAR organization was gathered. I took AJ's undamaged hand in my own, bringing it to my lips.

"I can't lose you." I whispered. "I can't."

____________________

"And now in first place we're happy to present this check and trophy to Krista Hemmings!" the announcer said loudly.

I stood up, my red chiffon dress clinging to my body. Lifting the bottom I headed up the stairs, my head held high.

Every driver from NASCAR was present at the Awards Ceremony. Eight men had come and went before me with their speeches and tearful thanks. Now it was my turn.

"Thank you." I said to the gentlemen, taking the check. I stared at it a moment...the numbers meant nothing. Nothing mattered at the moment except for what I wanted to say.

"As you may have noticed...only eight speakers have been on this stage tonight." I began looking around. "Ten are supposed to be recognized...and ten will be recognized."

The crowd got silent as all eyes turned towards me.

"I'd like you all to give a huge round of applause for the other first place champion here tonight, my fiancée, AJ McLean. Come up here sweetheart!”

He smiled at me as he wheeled up the ramp propelled by the standing ovation. We both knew he had a long road ahead but he had said it best when he had first opened his eyes after being in a coma for an agonizing week.

"You're still here." he had said groggily.

"Where else would I be?"

"I'm going to be hell to be around."

"So? What's new?"

He had cracked a smile and with his free arm he had grabbed my hand, placing it over his heart.

"It beats for you. As long as you're near me I can even cheat death."

And I had cried...cried not for anguish but for the most important feeling of all:

Love.