Chapter One

“She’s possessed. I’ve watched Child’s Play a couple times. I’m pretty sure she’s a spawn of Chucky.”

Nick smiled. “She’s not the spawn of Chucky. God, Liv, I wish I could be there.”

Our daughter Brooklyn was six weeks old. For the first three weeks of her life, I was convinced she was a living, breathing angel. Then the crying had started. For the past three weeks she hadn’t stopped. Nick had been gone for two weeks. The first week he had toured England; now he was in Japan. It didn’t matter that there was a time difference; I seemed to be awake twenty-four hours a day. I turned my head as mom walked past the room, Brooklyn wailing in her arms.

“I bought her a kimono today,” Nick said, holding up an itty-bitty little floral kimono.

“It’s adorable,” I said stifling a yawn.

“Have you slept?” Nick said. I shook my head.

“Not really. I can’t sleep while she’s crying. Dr. Tresher said it’s colic. She’ll cry for hours on end. I’m surprised she hasn’t given herself laryngitis.”

“She’s got my pipes,” Nick said. “Do you need me to come home?”

I shook my head. “No, no one can do anything.” I closed my eyes and full-on yawned. I heard Nick sigh.

“I feel horrible.”

“It’s okay. You’ve got a job to do.”

“Yeah, well I hate being away from you. You know as tired as you look, you’re looking great.”

I stared at the screen incredulously.. He smiled. “Hey, it’s s been six weeks. I’m dying to make love to you and hold you in my arms.”

I looked behind my shoulder; Brooklyn’s cries seemed to be coming from downstairs. Mom was doing house laps again. I turned back to the computer screen.

“Nick, I’m so tired I can’t even think about sex. I don’t think I’ll be able to do it again. Ever.”

“Liv, it’ll be okay. I’ll be home in a few days.”

My mom had been with me practically around the clock since he left; we were both walking zombies. If he thought he was tired the first week of Brooklyn’s crying, he had no idea what was waiting for him.

My name is Olivia Ryans and I’m pretty sure I’m losing my mind. I was sitting in front of my computer Skyping with my fiancé, Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, who at the moment was clear across the world. He was safe from the crying. He looked well rested; well fed. I hadn’t combed my hair or showered in three days, I was wearing a sloppy tank top with spit up and I was pretty sure my boobs were leaking. And yet Nick wanted to sleep with me.

Now that was true love.

“You know what today is?” Nick asked, leaning closer to the screen.

I looked at him in confusion. Truthfully, all of my days were running together. I shook my head.

“No?”

“It’s May 1.”

Even with extreme sleep deprivation, I knew exactly what he meant. I was just surprised he remembered.

“It’s been a year,” I said quietly.

Nick and I had met exactly one year ago today. I had applied for an internship for the Backstreet Boys This is Us summer tour. My interview had consisted of taking photos and video of the Boys. In absolute desperation I had asked the guys who would win a wrestling match in a large baby pool of vegetable oil. They were caught completely off guard and loved it.

“You know, I meant what I said,” Nick said huskily, breaking through my thoughts.

“About what?”

“You get my vote,” he said. I laughed.

“I can’t believe you remember that.”

“How could I forget the day my soul mate came into my life?”

I felt tears spring to my eyes.

“Nick…”

“I love you, Liv. Try to get some sleep, honey. I’m worried about you.”

I took a deep breath. “I love you too, Nick.”

We blew each other a kiss before we disconnected. I leaned back in the chair feeling like I had run a marathon. Brooklyn’s cries got louder and louder as my mom walked back up the stairs.

“Liv? You want to take her?”

I got up from my chair slowly and headed out to the hall. My mom had dark circles under her eyes; she seemed to be almost swaying on her feet. I held out my arms and she passed me my wiggling crying bundle.

“Oh, baby girl,” I said softly. “What’sa matter?”

Her face was screwed up so tight her nose appeared just a dot on the horizon. Her eyes had gotten bluer every week. It was like I was staring a miniscule, pissed off Nick at the moment.

I went through the routine I always did: first I checked for a soaked diaper (clean), then I tried feeding her (she turned her face away), and then I tried the bouncy seat. Nothing worked. I lay on my stomach, my face propped in my hands just watching her wail away as the seat bounced up and down.

Before I knew it, my eyes closed. Even with high pitched wails bombarding my eardrums, I think I fell asleep. I don’t know how long it lasted; the next thing I knew my mom was kneeled beside me with the phone in her hand.

“It’s the wedding planner,” she said. I moaned and rolled over on my back. Brooklyn had switched to a high C note.

“I’m going to have to call her back,” I said. My mom nodded and left the room. I flipped back over on my stomach. I slowly ran my finger along the bottom of Brooklyn’s foot.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I cooed. “You just need some sleep. Sleep is good.”

She sucked in a breath and my heart gave a leap. Her little eyes seemed to stare right at me; she almost seemed to be making a decision. Before I could react her mouth opened wide and another loud wail filled the room.

It seemed to confirm my suspicions; my little girl was possessed.

Mom had tried to console me by telling me I had colic when I was a baby too. Of course, my colic turned out to be severe lactose intolerance. Dr. Tresher confirmed that wasn’t Brooklyn’s case. She thrived off of my breast milk. She was like a little vampire without teeth. Sometimes she didn’t know when to stop. Of course, on the other hand, when she was eating she wasn’t crying.

And that was a blessing.

As she wailed away, I couldn’t help but think the day couldn’t get any worse. I thought too quickly. My cell phone vibrated in my back pocket. Thinking it was Nick, I pulled it out to see what crazy picture he had sent me this time.

It wasn’t a picture; it was a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize.

“Hello?” I said over the cries.

“Hello, Liv.”

I pulled the phone away and stared it in disbelief. I slowly put the phone back to my ear.

“Hunter?”

“Yep.”

“Why are you calling?”

“I need a favor.”

“I don’t owe you any favors,” I reminded him. He had called at the wrong time; my bitchiness level was through the roof. He was the perfect person to take it out on.

“Listen,” he said with a sigh. “I sold the house and I need you to sign off.”

I frowned. “Why should I? It’s not like I’m getting half.”

“Don’t make this hard for me.”

I snorted. “You’ve made every step of this divorce hard for me. Oh, and what about that tape?”

While Nick and I were on the Backstreet Boys cruise in December, a fan had asked Nick what he thought of the tape of me that was making the rounds on the Internet. It was an old tape I had made for Hunter while we were married. He had gotten a nice payday by distributing it online.

“That was a mistake.”

“Hunter, that was more than a mistake. I don’t have the time to talk to you right now.”

“I’m in town.”

“You’re what?!”

Hunter had only been out of the state of Wisconsin a few times in his life and had certainly not been anywhere near the state of Florida.

“If I send these damn papers through our lawyers it’s going to take weeks if not months. I have people that want to close on this house next week.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Why aren’t you staying in the house with Jess?”

Silence filled the line.

“Hunter?”

“Can you meet me tomorrow morning or not? You live in Tampa right?”

“You’re in Tampa?”

Having Hunter in the same city I was in without Nick around was a little unsettling. I glanced at Brooklyn. Of course, no one would probably want to be around Chucky. I should probably be fine; no one would break into a house with a screaming infant that was louder than our security alarm.

“Can you meet me tomorrow or not?” Hunter repeated.

I bit my lip. As insane as it sounded, having an excuse to leave the house for one hour of silence, even if it was to deal with Hunter was appealing.

“Is this the last time I have to see you?” I snapped.

“Absolutely,” he said coldly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the McDonald’s on West Kennedy Boulevard.”

“See you tomorrow.”

I didn’t even realize Hunter hung up. I couldn’t hear the tone on the phone over Brooklyn’s wails. I scooped her up and headed downstairs to let my mom know she was going to be sitting solo in the morning. I found her slumped on the living room couch asleep. Before I could wake her, Brooklyn chose that moment to spit up on the front of my tank top. Mom snuggled deeper into the cushions.

I never thought I’d envy someone for sleeping, but at the moment I was completely jealous.

I knew someday I’d look back on today and laugh; but at the moment I felt more like laughing than crying.

Something told me having to deal with Hunter in the morning was only going to make it worse.

Chapter Two

When I left the house the next morning, I had a moment of pure shock. The outside world was so quiet. I heard birds on the beach and the rush of the waves on the sand. I shook my head from side to side; I felt like I had been submerged in water for an extended length of time. Between the lack of sleep and the sudden quietness, I felt like I could crawl under the azalea bush in our front yard and sleep for a few years.

I got into my Nissan Pathfinder, a gift from Nick for Valentine’s Day, and made my way through downtown Tampa. I had a goal in mind: the sign whatever papers Hunter needed me to sign and then get home. Or at least find an empty parking lot to sleep for a couple hours.

When I had told my mom where I was going she had immediately gone on the defensive.

“Are you going to take security?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think I’m going to need security.”

“That’s the problem; you think you won’t.”

“If I come in with security, that’s just going to cause more problems.”

“I don’t see why you can’t just sign these papers through your lawyers.”

“He obviously needs this done quickly. If it gets him off my back, then fine.”

“It just seems fishy. I mean, why would he fly all the way down here to get papers signed?”

I didn’t have an answer for that. I finally got mom to agree to watch Brooklyn and we spent a long night playing pass the Brooklyn.

“I won’t be long,” I had promised her.

I pulled up to the McDonald’s; all the old folks were gathered inside over steaming cups of coffee and the morning’s newspaper.

The first thing I did when getting inside was order a caramel latte. The sugar rush perked me up like a drug. My eyes gazed over my straw as I took a second spot. I saw Hunter at a table in the corner; his eyes glued on me.

I headed over, still sucking on the straw as if it was my lifeline. I saw a couple Egg McMuffin wrappers and empty hash brown containers. His penchant for eating hadn't disappeared; in fact his face seemed bloated and ill defined. He had obviously shown up early. I used to be that way; then I had a daughter who couldn’t stop crying. I settled down in a seat across from him.

“Hi,” Hunter said. He took a sip of orange juice. I set my cup down in front of me.

“Hey.”

His eyes roved my face; I saw them drop down to my chest and then back up. I squirmed in my seat.

“Where’s the papers?”

“What?”

“The papers? You know, the ones you need me to sign?”

“Oh.”

He reached down into his laptop case and began to fish around. I took another sip.

“You look great,” he said, his eyes focused on the papers shoved into his case.

First Nick had told me I looked great, now Hunter. What was it? The aroma of baby puke (not that I hadn’t showered this morning) or the bags under my eyes? Of course, I would take Nick’s compliment; from Hunter it made me want to wrinkle my nose. In four years of marriage he only complimented me maybe twice.

“Thanks,” I said awkwardly. Hunter pulled out one paper than began to dig around some more.

“Where’s Jess?” I said, for lack of any better conversation to make.

“We’re, uh, not together anymore,” he said. I noted the tension in his voice. My fingertips drummed my plastic cup.

“Gee, why not?” I said. “Did it have anything to do with making her an Internet slut by selling that video of her and me?”

He paused in his search and looked over at me.

“I made a mistake.”

I took that as confirmation that I had hit the nail on the head.

“What about your little girl?”

He looked over at me.

“Ella?”

“Is that her name?”

He nodded.

“Well, what’s going on with that?”

“Jess has custody.” Hunter ran a hand through his unkempt hair.

“Ah,” I said leaning back. “So let me guess. You needed to sell the house to help pay child support?”

He winced, but he didn’t correct me.

“Gee, paybacks are a bitch,” I said. I couldn’t help it; I felt angry. Hunter’s eyes narrowed.

“Look who’s calling the kettle black,” he said. “You spread your legs the first time Carter even looks your way.”

“Believe it or not, I did give you a little bit of consideration,” I said evenly. “More than you ever gave me.”

He put another piece of paper on the pile and shoved everything my way. I rooted through my purse for a pen. I studied the papers.

I was definitely not a lawyer; but I wasn’t stupid. Hunter frowned.

“All you have to do is sign.”

“That’s fine. I’m just reading through these first.”

I was glad I did. The papers weren’t to get my name off of the house; it was to get his name off the house. I laughed incredulously. I glanced over at Hunter; he avoided my gaze. I could feel the anger radiating from him.

“So let me see if I get this straight,” I said. “I do the dumb girl routine and sign these, you skip out on the house payments and then I’m stuck with the house while you get off scot free?”

He didn’t answer.

“Can I also assume that there is no buyer chomping at the bit to buy the house?”

“It’s not like Carter can’t afford it,” he said bitterly.

I shook my head. “That’s not the point. When are you going to stop fucking me over?” I shoved the unsigned papers back over to him. “I’m not signing.”

“If you don’t---“

“If I don’t, what? I’m not scared of you, Hunter.”

I stood up, clutching my cup. Beads of condensation dripped over my fingers.

“Sorry you wasted a trip,” I said coldly. I turned and walked out of the restaurant.

I beeped my car and had just gotten in when the driver’s side door was yanked roughly over. Hunter’s hands gripped my shoulders; I had no choice but to turn towards him. I detected a deep desperation in his eyes.

“You can’t leave,” he said. My fingers crawled over my seat towards my purse.

“Hunter, I swear to God if you don’t let go of me there’s going to be trouble.”

He laughed. “What trouble? I don’t see any big bad Backstreet security guards coming at me.” He leaned closer to me, his lips only a fraction of an inch away from my own.

At the same moment my hand slid into my purse and made contact with what I had been looking for. I felt his grip on my shoulders loosen; I knew now was my chance. Without hesitating I thrust my hand forward and pressed the button on my taser.

Hunter dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. I hesitated for a moment. On one hand, it seemed wrong to leave him lying on the ground peeing himself like a toddler. On the other hand, he had tried to kiss me. Blech. I hit reverse and tore out of the parking lot.

I’d let the elderly McDonald’s coffee drinkers handle him.

With my dream of catching a few hours of sleep in the parking lot gone, I headed towards home. On my way I hit speed dial on my phone.

A couple of Backstreet security guards didn’t sound like such a bad idea after all.

---------------------------------------------------

“You did what?!”

I winced. In one ear Brooklyn was screaming; in the other Nick was screaming at me through my cell phone. I was in the midst of a Carter sandwich. As good as that may sound to all the dirty minded girls out there, this was not a pleasant occasion.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just thought I’d be in and out.”

“Well obviously Hunter wanted to be in and out too. But, I don’t mean the restaurant,” Nick said angrily.

“I don’t know for certain that he tried to kiss me. It just kinda…seemed like that. He went a little loopy. So I tased him.”

“Did he go down?”

“Oh yeah.”

“You’re giving me a heart attack, honey,” Nick said. I could almost picture him hitting his head lightly against the wall of his hotel room. “What if he tracks down the house?”

“Listen, I know I had a moment of stupidity. But I fixed it. I have security in the house until you get back. And it wasn’t like he followed me. He was lying on the ground. Taking nice electricity fueled nap.”

“Speaking of which…is that Brooklyn screaming her lungs out?”

“Do we have any other child?”

“Okay, stupid question. Who’s doing security?”

“Marcus and Roger.”

“Marcus? You got Marcus?”

“Yeah, I got Marcus. He just got done doing security for Fall Out Boy or something. See, we’re in good hands.”

Nick sighed again. “I miss you.”

I closed my eyes. “I miss you too.”

“I’ll be home Thursday.”

“I’ll be at the airport waiting for you.”

“Bring security.”

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “I will.”

“Love you, Liv.”

“Love you too.”

“Love, you Brooke!”

Brooklyn just wailed. I hung up and rocked back and forth in the chair. Miraculously I got Brooklyn quiet enough to begin breast feeding when Marcus walked in the room.

“Everything o---sorry.”

I had never seen the man blush; the sight of a humongous blue-veined white boob was all it took. He turned around and headed back down the hall. I looked down at Brooke; her eyes were half closed. I prayed with a full tummy she might actually want to sleep. After ten minutes her breathing seemed to slow and begin the rhythmic pattern of sleep. I almost cried. I carefully reaffixed my bra and leaned back, keeping her nuzzled to my chest.

Basking in the glory of amazing silence, I too fell asleep.

-------------------------------------------

Three hours of sleep was all it took for Brooklyn to regain her strength. Hour after endless hour she began to build her crescendo of wails. Mom and I were almost immune to it by now. Even though nothing worked, we still paced the halls and sang the same off-key lullabies.

All through the night she cried; as the sun came up, she cried. By seven o’clock in the morning Marcus came into the nursery as I was changing her, looking wide-eyed and a little stressed out.

“Everything okay?” I asked him as I secured the sides of the diaper.

“I was just going to ask you the same thing,” he said. He stared at Brooklyn. He almost looked, well, afraid. “I’ve never heard a baby cry this long.”

“It’s colic,” I explained as I scooped her back up. She pressed against my hand, her head tilting back slightly, the better to push air up her windpipe.

“Roger left,” Marcus explained.

“What?”

“He couldn’t take it anymore. He said he’d rather be shot.”

I opened my mouth, but I really couldn’t think of anything to say. In a way, I almost knew what Roger meant.

“Nick will be home Thursday,” I finally said. It seemed like the only thing I could say.

“He owes me,” Marcus said, backing out of the room. His hand went to the gun strapped to a hip holster. “Big time.”

I stared down at my little angry tomato. I pressed my lips to her forehead.

“Sweetie,” I said with my lips right next to her baby powdery skin. “You are a poster child for abstinence.”

For one shining moment, she paused in her cries. I swear she smiled.

Something told me she was determined to stay an only child.

And she was off to a great start.

Chapter Three

“I’ve missed you so damn much,” Nick said. I hadn’t even seen him come off the plane. One minute I was standing by Marcus and the next moment I was being twirled in the air by two very capable arms. His lips pressed hungrily against mine. By the time he pulled away, I was breathless. I was already convinced I was breathing less oxygen due to my exhaustion; he had just sucked the last reserve I had.

“Marcus, man…thank you so much,” Nick said. He turned towards Marcus and they did this weird handshake that left me wondering how long it had taken them to get it down.

Even though Marcus had only been with me a couple days, he was already showing the effects of living with Brooklyn. Even he had bags under his eyes.

“You have no clue how much you owe me, Carter,” he said. Most people would have been scared shitless; he was over six feet of bulk. Nick just laughed.

“What’s up? You don’t look so good, man.”

“Your daughter. She’s not human. I’ve never seen a baby cry so much. We’ve been all over the world with fans tipping over your bus and I was still never so stressed out as I am now.”

Nick looked back over at me.

“Okay, you guys are freaking me out.”

“Good,” Marcus said. “Consider yourself warned.”

We made our way to baggage claim and then climbed into my Pathfinder. Marcus had been gracious enough to drive me. In truth, I think he just wanted to escape the towering inferno of Brooke, but I had actually gotten a twenty minute nap. I felt like I had won the lottery. Marcus slid back behind the wheel; Nick and I slid into the back seat. His hand snaked around my waist.

“You’ve lost almost all the baby weight, Livvy,” he said, his voice laced with male appreciation.

“That’s what you get when you can’t eat and your boobs are an all-you-can eat 24-hour smorgasbord,” I said, stifling a yawn.

“Well, when we get home I’m sending you and your mom to her house. I’ll watch Brooke,” Nick said. I looked at him like he was crazy.

“Nick you just got off of a 22-hour flight from Japan,” I explained. He shrugged.

“I slept on the flight. They were showing rotten movies.”

“Maybe I should go with them,” Marcus spoke up from the driver’s seat. “You know, just in case her ex found out where her mom lived.”

Nick looked at him. “You can go sleep too, Marcus.”

Marcus’ shoulders slumped. “Oh, thank you Jesus.”

When we pulled up to the house Marcus and I slid out of the car like zombies. I couldn’t tell if it was just my ears deceiving me or if I really heard it, but I swore I could hear Brooklyn crying from outside the house. Nick seemed oblivious; he grabbed his bags and led the way inside.

“I got your back,” Marcus whispered in my ear. I looked up at him; I knew the man wanted to wait until the last possible moment to have to enter the funhouse.

Nick set his bags down in the foyer. The moment I walked in, I could hear Brooklyn crying upstairs. Nick took the stairs two at a time; I lumbered behind. I walked into the nursery just as mom was handing Brooklyn over. She was staring at Nick like he was a saint.

“Mom, you look terrible,” Nick said, shaking his head. He stared down at Brooklyn. She was wearing a pink and white sundress; mom had put a stretchy pink bow around her head.

“Are you the little thing causing all this trouble?” he said with a laugh. He kissed her forehead.

“She’s gotten so big,” he said. I watched him lower himself into the rocking chair. He looked up at us.

“I told Liv that you two should go back to your condo. Get some rest.”

Normally my mom would wave him off and tell him he was crazy. I knew things had gotten really bad. She looked at me; her car keys appeared in her hand within seconds.

“Ready to go?”

I glanced back over at Nick. Brooke was wailing in his ear and he was completely calm. Of course he had only been home ten minutes. Give him another few hours…

“Yeah, I’m ready,” I said. I walked over and kissed Brooke’s forehead. I turned to Nick.

“Get some sleep, baby,” he whispered. I kissed him softly. His head leaned forward so that his lips were right next to my ear.

“You’re going to need it.”

Somehow I knew what he was talking about. I also knew that after a day of endless crying even the master of sex would take a quiet room and a soft mattress over physical exertion and grinding bodies. I smiled.

“Thank you, Nick. Call me if you need me back over here.”

“I just fed her,” my mom offered.

“I pumped some milk. It’s in the fridge,” I added.

Nick waved us off.

“We’ll be fine!” he called as mom and I almost fell over each other down the stairs. Marcus wasn’t far behind.

All three of us burst out of the house like we had escaped a Stephen King movie.

--------------------------------------

Six glorious hours later I woke up in my mom’s condo feeling like I was actually human again. I took a warm shower and lavished in the realization that I didn’t have to rush. I pulled stuff out of my hair I didn’t even realize had been caked in.

I tossed on a sleeveless dress of my mom’s. Nick was right; I had lost weight. I stared into the mirror. Well, I had lost weight most places. I still felt like I was giving Pam Anderson a run for her money in the boob department.

I glanced out to the pull-out couch; Marcus was snoring loudly. My mom was asleep in her bed. All I could think of was getting home to Nick and Brooklyn. It was amazing what a little sleep could do for you.

The keys to the Pathfinder were on the table by the door. I thought about waking Marcus, but I just didn’t have the heart. Being careful not to make too much noise, I picked up my keys and slid out the door.

When I pulled up to the house, I sat in the car and stared at the house. It hadn’t burned down. In fact it looked cheerful as ever. I secured the car and walked up to the door. Knowing that he probably wouldn’t hear the doorbell, I put my house key in the lock and pushed the door open.

I knew right away something was wrong. The entire house was quiet. A million crazy things ran through my mind. Maybe Nick had decided to take her for a walk or maybe he had found a way to make the sound booth in his recording studio sound proof.

I put my purse and keys on the foyer table and walked in.

“Hello?” I called softly. There was no answer.

I peeked into the kitchen; it was empty. I turned towards the living room. My eyes widened in surprise.

Nick was sprawled out on the living room couch. By the way he was breathing I could tell he was sleeping. But that wasn’t the surprising part.

Brooklyn lay across his chest, her cheek pressed into his chest. Her whole body was lifted up and down with each breath Nick took. Her lips were parted slightly, her hands were balled up, but the rest of her was in a state of pure relaxation.

And, more importantly, she was quiet.

I sank down beside the couch watching the two of them as if they were the 9th wonder of the world. I was afraid to move about the house. If the wrong floor board creaked or I closed a door a little too hard I knew I was going to upset the perfect alignment of the planets that Nick had somehow figured out.

I don’t know how long I sat beside the couch. In my astonishment I think I honestly fell back asleep. One minute I was watching them, the next minute my eyes fluttered open to see Nick calmly watching me. Brooklyn was still sleeping on his chest.

“Hey, I didn’t hear you come back,” he whispered.

“How did you do it?” I whispered back.

“Do what?”

“She’s sleeping.”

Nick laughed. My eyes flew to Brooklyn; if anything she seemed to snuggle even closer.

“We just decided to chill on the couch. I filled her in on the tour.”

“While she cried?”

“She stopped after awhile.”

Nick’s hand slid across the couch cushion to cover mine.

“I’ve missed my girls. Did you get some sleep?”

I nodded. I glanced behind my shoulder; I wasn’t sure of the time, but it was completely dark outside.

“It felt amazing,” I whispered. I saw a familiar sparkle come into Nick’s eye.

“I know something else that would feel amazing.”

We glanced down at Brooklyn.

“Let’s feed her and change her and put her down for the night.”

I laughed. “Put her down for the night?” I said incredulously. “You just got lucky.”

Nick slowly picked Brooklyn up and sat up. After running his fingers over her chubby cheeks her eyes fluttered open. She blinked rapidly. I braced myself for the wail; it didn’t come.

“You hungry, pumpkin?” he said, practically cooing at her. Her fingers stretched up towards his face.

Nick stood up; I followed suit. We headed up to the nursery and I sank into the chair. I held out my arms. Nick slowly transferred her into my arms. Brooklyn whimpered, but the wails didn’t start up. Not wanting to chance my luck, I began to feed her. Nick got out a diaper, wipes, and powder.

“I still don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head. “We tried lying down with her in bed; we tried walking her around; we tried the bouncy seat. Nothing worked.”

“I don’t know. She cried for about an hour and then…it just stopped.”

After I burped her, I handed her back to Nick. He put her down on the changing table and went to work.

The cries I was used to started up the minute he took off her diaper.

“I think you’re the first girl that’s done that when I’ve de-pantied them,” Nick teased. He blew a raspberry on her belly. She gave a long shuddery sob, then looked up at him as if he was the most interesting thing in the world.

“That’s better,” he said. He wiped her down and affixed her in a new diaper. Feeling just slightly more useful than a dairy cow, I handed him some soft footie pajamas.

“Let’s see,” he said. He picked up her foot and wiggled each of her toes. “One foot in.” He did the same thing to the other. “Then the other.”

She hiccupped; he laughed.

“What was that tipsy girl?”

She gurgled. He proceeded to slide her arms into the sleeves and zip her up. His face went close to hers.

“Time to sleep, baby girl” he whispered, puckering up his lips. Her fingers went into his mouth. He made pretend chomping noises, then took her hand and covered her face in kisses. I saw her eyes droop.

At that moment I was pretty sure I was engaged to a god…a god of babies.

He cradled her in his arms and lowered her into her crib. I saw him crank the mobile. We both leaned over the rail and looked down at her.

She actually fell asleep.

Nick’s arm snaked around me. I looked over at him.

“Did I tell you I’m glad you’re home?” I whispered. Nick’s lips brushed mine again.

“Me too. How about I put you to bed now?”

In all honesty, he had me turned on the moment I walked into a quiet house. It was amazing what silence could do for a person’s libido. As we walked hand in hand to the bedroom, Nick glanced back down the staircase.

“Where’s Marcus?” he whispered. I laughed softly.

“He’s snoring on mom’s pull out couch.”

Nick stopped outside our bedroom, bent down, and scooped me up in his arms. My arms went around his neck.

“Good. I’m all the security you need right now.”

He carried me to the bed and set me down as gentle as he had put Brooke in the crib. I rolled over on my stomach, opened the nightstand and pulled out a condom. I thrust it up at him; he looked surprised.

“No offense; but after three weeks of endless crying, I’m buffing up security.”

I tossed it in the air; he caught it with a grin. I saw his fingers work on the button of his jeans. When the jeans fell to the ground he crawled over me, his hands sliding up the bottom of my dress.

“Whatever you say. I aim to please.”

His fingers found my panties; his lips found my neck. I arched towards him.

“Now, let’s see if you cry when I de-panty you.” he murmured. My skin tingled.

Three months had passed since we had last made love. I knew I wouldn’t cry. Moan, yes. But definitely not cry.

I had been worried that giving birth might screw up our dynamic, but as Nick entered me, all my worries went out the window. It was better than I remembered.

And it was good to have him home.

Chapter Four

Brooklyn slept longer than she ever had before. When she finally started to cry I was ready for the challenge. I slid into Nick’s terry cloth robe and tied the sash across my waist. I padded into the nursery and flipped on the light.

“You hungry?” I asked as I scooped her up in my arms and sat down in the rocker.

She wasn’t interested in feeding. I went over and checked her diaper. It was clean.

I rubbed her stomach.

“What’s a matter?”

She just seemed to cry louder.

I have to admit, that when I pictured myself as a mom, I always thought of myself as a mom to a two year old that could communicate with me and who I could play dress up with. Watching my baby girl cry and having no idea what she needed from me was frustrating. I picked her up and made a gentle bouncing motion.

“Need some help?” Nick said groggily. I turned to see him standing stark naked in the doorway.

“What are you doing? Put some pants on!”

“Why?”

“Because…because…I don’t know why, but I’m sure some psychologist probably would.”

Nick grinned. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

I blew a piece of hair from my eyes. “Nick…”

“I’m going!”

He reappeared five minutes later in boxer briefs, his hair sticking straight up. He walked over and stroked Brooke’s cheek. I know it sounds bad, but I felt a little triumphant when she continued to cry.

“I think you just got lucky,” I said. He shook his head and held out his arms. I transferred her over.

Nick walked around the room, humming calmly. Brooklyn threw back her head and let him have it. Without batting an eye, he walked out of the room and down the stairs. I followed him.

“Brooklyn, you’re going to grow up singing aren’t you?” Nick said as he walked around and around the kitchen island. Her response? More crying.

Nick headed towards the living room. I followed him.

“I’m going to try recreating the moment,” Nick said. He sounded like a man on a mission. He sat down on the couch and slowly reclined until he was lying on his back. He placed Brooke on her stomach. Her little legs scrunched up; she looked like a frog about ready to jump.

And all was quiet.

“I don’t believe it,” I said. Nick looked over at me.

“Let’s think about this,” he said. I saw him stroke her hair with his thumb. Brooklyn lifted her head slightly and looked at him. I swear it looked like she was saying ‘Ah, thank you, daddy.’

I studied them. There was only one thing that I could see he was doing that I hadn’t done.

“Her stomach,” I finally said. He looked over at me.

“What?”

“You put her on her stomach.”

The hospital had drilled in my head the importance of putting a baby on their back to sleep. The thought of SIDS scared me to death.

“Yeah?”

“Dr. Tresher said to make sure that she didn’t fall asleep on her stomach!”

“Well, I think Brooke’s got other ideas.”

We watched her eyes close.

“How can a six week old be so opinionated?” I whispered. Nick smiled.

“Well, she’s my daughter. I don’t think she got her momma’s patience. Plus,” he sang in a whisper. “She wants it her waaaay.”

I laughed. “That was incredibly corny.”

“I know.”

“But, seriously. I think if she’s awake and we put her on her tummy on the play mat she might just tire herself out so much she’ll sleep for a few hours on her back in the crib like she did tonight.”

He had a point. I nodded.

“We’ll give it a try.”

He laughed. “How about you lay down here with her while I go get some cereal?”

We did a very slow calculated change of the guards. When I was sufficiently positioned on the couch he placed her on my chest. It was a flashback to the day she was born.

Brooklyn’s eyes opened and she studied my face. I could almost see her trying to decide whether this was a sufficient place to be. Her fists went into my boobs. I winced and slid her hand to the side. She began to cry.

“Shh, shh, no, no. It’s okay,” I assured her. I felt her legs tuck up under her even more; my hand went around her little baby bottom and I scooted her up.

That seemed to do the trick even though I daresay she would have preferred to be lying on Nick’s flat chest. Mine was a little too hilly.

“We good?” Nick asked, coming back into the room with a mixing bowl filled with cereal. I glanced over at him.

“That’s a big bowl.”

He shoveled a great big spoonful in his mouth. “I was hungry.” He held his spoon up in the air and licked the back of it.

“By the way, I used up the leftover milk. We still have a whole gallon unopened.” He shoveled in another bite. I raised an eyebrow.

“What leftover milk?”

“The stuff you put in the smaller container. I figured you didn’t want to waste it.”

I don’t know why, but I let him take another bite.

“Hey Nick?”

“Hmm?”

I was trying my hardest not to laugh. The less I shook the more content Brooklyn seemed to get.

“That was breast milk.”

A mouthful of Lucky Charms flew across the room. Magical rainbows, shamrocks, and horseshoes went everywhere. He looked horrified.

“Are you serious?”

I laughed. “Yes, I am.”

He stared down at his bowl and made little stabs with his spoon. He looked crestfallen.

“I just thought it was two percent. It tasted sweeter than normal.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

He shuffled back into the kitchen and returned with paper towels to clean up his mess. I looked down at Brooklyn. Her eyes seemed to be trying to focus on his every movement. He looked over at her and smiled.

“Is daddy a doofus Brookey?”

She let out a little gurgle. Nick laughed.

"I’ll take as a yes.”

----------------------------------------------

When mom and Marcus finally came to check up on us, I was still laying on the couch.

“It’s a miracle,” Marcus said. My mom smiled.

“You know when you were born, the nurse told me to let you sleep on your stomach. We didn’t really have a concept of SIDs. I think she takes after you.”

“Well, if she had a choice she’d prefer to sleep on Nick,” I said. “But still…” I closed my eyes. “It’s quiet.”

My mom laughed. “You did the same thing to me. I thought you hated me for the first year of your life. Your dad would walk into the room and you’d become an angel. I guess it’s heredity.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Yeah, well I wish it would have skipped a generation.”

Nick was eating Lucky Charms straight from the box.

“Dude, don’t you got any milk?” Marcus said. Nick shook his head.

“Don’t ask.”

I laughed. Mom spread out the play mat. We had tried it a couple of times before, but Brooklyn was uninterested in the mobile while on her back. I slowly sat up and placed her down on her stomach.

It was like a different baby. Mom and I scattered a few toys about. Her legs bounced excitedly.

“So, is now a good time to ask you to watch Brooklyn while I take my wife on a date?” Nick asked sweetly.

Mom looked down at her and then back over at Nick.

“How can I say no?” she said with a smile. “You figured out in twelve hours what we couldn’t figure out in weeks.”

I smiled. “You’re taking me on a date?”

Nick nodded; I saw him glance at Marcus.

“And I’m setting you free buddy.”

They shook hands.

“Thanks for your help,” Nick said.

“Anytime. When you guys going back on tour?”

Nick laughed. “We’ve got to record some music first.”

“Well get cracking. Fall out Boy doesn’t have anything on the BSB.”

Nick walked Marcus to the door. I knelt down and made sure my daughter wasn’t suffocating. All was good.

“Stop freaking out,” Nick said. I turned and looked up at him in surprise. He laughed and gently pulled me back up.

“Why don’t you and I go get changed?”

I glanced at the clock. It was one o’clock in the afternoon and we still weren’t dressed. Nick had managed to get into a robe; that was about it. Such was the life as parents of an infant.

“What time does our date start?” I asked with a smile.

“Three.”

“Three o’clock? We’re having a date in the afternoon?”

His eyes crinkled as he smiled.

“This is a special date.”

I didn’t know whether to be worried, scared, or both. I went up to the nursery to pump some more milk and then walked into our bedroom. Nick was peering into the mirror, analyzing a pimple.

“What are you doing?”

“I need some Skin ID. What do you think my numbers are?”

I smiled. “All tens. Now leave the zit alone.”

I reached into my closet.

“Do I need to dress up?”

“Nope.”

“Jeans and a jacket?”

“Sounds good to me.”

I slid into a worn pair of jeans, a plain t-shirt, and a jacket. Ignoring several pairs of heels that I tried not to wear for fear of falling flat on my face, I grabbed a pair of flats.

“Ready?”

“For what?”

Nick laughed. “Nice try.”

We walked downstairs hand in hand. Brooklyn was asleep on the play mat and my mom was sitting watching her. She looked like she was happy to have a grandchild again. For awhile I was sure she was regretting the decision to move to Florida and doubting my ability to create a normal child.

“Mom, I put milk in the fridge. There are some leftovers in the fridge for you for dinner.”

“What happened to the other milk you pumped?”

I looked over at Nick; he wrinkled his nose. My mom laughed.

“Nick, honey, I put a “B” on the container.”

“I didn’t see the 'B'! I just wanted some Lucky Charms.”

Mom and I laughed.

“Call me if you need anything,” I said. “We’ll be back soon.” I looked over at Nick. “Won’t we?”

Nick nodded. “I won’t keep your daughter out too late,” he teased. Mom just waved us off.

Like a gentlemen, he opened the car door for me. After a quick kiss he got in and we took off towards the Interstate.

“Still not going to tell me where we’re going?” I asked. He shook his head.

“And ruin a good surprise? No way.”

“You forget I hate surprises.”

Nick laughed. “What do you call Brooklyn?”

Well…he had me there.

Chapter Five

“This is a circus,” I said dumbly as Nick parked haphazardly in a grassy field. Tons of people were headed in the direction of the big top. Nick looked over at me and grinned.

“Yup.”

I looked over at him; he peered out the windshield happily.

“You like the circus?”

He shrugged. “I’ve never been to one.”

“What made you think of taking me to the circus?”

He laughed. “It just seemed like a very “me” thing to do.”

I smiled nervously. He frowned.

“Uh-oh. What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “It’s nothing.”

“A frown isn’t nothing. It’s an upside down smile.”

I sighed. “Okay, well…it’s just…I hate clowns.”

Nick looked surprised. “You hate clowns? As in you dislike them?”

“Kind of. It’s more like I’m terrified of clowns.”

“But why? Tons of them squeeze into one little car and they ride around on unicycles. Ronald McDonald’s a clown. Are you saying you have a hatred of Ronald McDonald? Isn’t that anti-American? When did you start hating on clowns?”

I fidgeted in my seat. “It’s silly.”

“You have me curious now. Spill the beans.”

I sighed. “Okay. When I was little I snuck out of bed and hid behind the couch while my mom and dad watched Stephen King’s It. I have had an unreasonable fear of clowns ever since. I still see the clown nose coming out of the bathroom sink and spraying the little girl in blood.”

Nick smiled. “If I promise you that no one’s nose explodes will you give it a chance?”

I sighed. It was ridiculous. I was twenty six years old. I shouldn’t let a movie that had scared me when I was five years old still freak me out. Circuses were fun…right?

“It’s fine,” I said lightly. “This will be fun. They have funnel cakes, right? I love funnel cakes.”

Funnel cakes were my weakness.

“I will happily get you a funnel cake,” Nick promised. We got out and merged with a crowd headed towards the tent.

I hadn’t been away from Brooke for more than an hour in the whole six weeks since she was born. I felt a little pang of motherly remorse as I saw all the little kids laughing and running here and there. Nick seemed to channel my thoughts.

“We’ll have to take Brookey when she gets older,” Nick said. I nodded.

As luck would have it, we found a funnel cake stand. I watched as the batter was poured through a watering can into the hot oil.

“Powdered sugar or cinnamon sugar?” the lady asked.

“Cinnamon sugar,” I said.

The lady scooped the fried dough on the plate and liberally sprinkled the cinnamon sugar. I took the plate and inhaled deeply.

As we walked towards our seats I held the plate out.

“Want a bite?”

Nick smiled and broke off a piece. “This is so going to ruin my 2,000 calories a day limit.”

I rolled my eyes. “And Lucky Charms doesn’t?”

“Touché.”

We sat down about halfway up on the bleachers. Nick broke off another piece of the funnel cake and fed it to me. I smiled.

“Practicing for the wedding cake,” he explained.

“Good job,” I said. “I figured you’d be a cake smasher, myself.”

“Well…”

He didn’t have a chance to continue. Loud thumping music and cheers drowned out any chance of conversation as the ringmaster took center stage. For the next hour we were entertained by trapeze acts, jugglers, and sword swallowing. Finally, the ringmaster announced an intermission. We walked down the bleachers to stretch our legs.

“No clowns,” I said happily.

“Yet,” Nick said. "They save the best 'til last."

I wrinkled my nose.

We walked around to watch some of the sideshows. I felt like an idiot, but I couldn’t help look back and forth. I was on perpetual clown alert.

“Shall we?” Nick asked. I blinked, fearing that I had missed something he had said.

“Shall we what?”

He smirked. “Still worried about the clowns?”

I blushed. “Slightly.”

He pointed towards a small tent draped in exotic curtains. “I asked if you wanted to go get our fortune read.”

I laughed. “Sure.”

“At the first mention of clowns, we’re gone. I promise,” he teased.

“Ha, ha.”

We ducked into the tent. The smell of incense hung heavy in the air. The room was dark aside from some outdoor patio lights swaying slightly.

“Come in,” a heady voice croaked.

A woman who didn’t look a day over two hundred sat hunkered down in her seat. She gazed at us with watery brown eyes.

“Who wishes a reading?” she said.

Nick looked at me; I saw a twinkle in his eyes.

“I’ll bite,” he said. I sat down next to him. The woman’s gnarled hands fiddled with a deck of cards.

“What do you wish to know?” she asked mysteriously. Nick looked thoughtful.

“I don’t know. Surprise me. Let me know about my family’s future,” Nick said. He gestured between him and me.

Within seconds she laid cards out on the table. She flipped them over one by one and studied them intently. After several long seconds of silence she nodded.

“Very interesting,” she murmured to herself.

“What’s interesting?” Nick asked. We both looked at the cards. All we saw were pictures. A thin shriveled finger tapped the card at the top left.

“Ace of Wands, when reversed,” she rasped. “Crisis as yet unseen. An explosive situation is soon to start, threatening to consume all who get to close. Primal force.”

Her finger went to the card at the top right. “Four of Pentacles, when reversed. You use your power for good. You find security someplace other than in material things.”

She went on and on like this until she finally tapped the last card. “The Star. Bodies and mines converging towards the light at the end of a dark time.”

She leaned back in her chair and studied us intently. Nick’s eyes went to each card and then to her.

“I’m sorry,” he said politely. “But I have no idea what this means.”

“You have one of the most interesting readings I have seen in some time,” she said. Her voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

“You have a pure heart. It has been said that your two souls have intersected time after time through the centuries.”

I smiled. That all sounded good.

“However, there are dark shadows ready to take that happiness away. Two dark shadows. She went back to the first card. Crisis yet unseen. Primal force.”

Nick frowned. “Didn’t you say I use my power for good or something? Can’t I just Batman the primal force out of Gotham City?”

The old woman didn’t crack a smile. “Good does not always triumph over evil.” Her eyes flickered to me and then down to my hand.

“You are planning a wedding?”

I blinked in surprise. Miss Cleo had nothing on her. I nodded. She tapped another card farther down.

“Beware the month of August.”

I sputtered. “What?!”

“You must overcome the crisis first.” She smiled; instantly I wished she hadn’t. She was missing a great number of teeth; half of the ones that remained were rotten, the others capped in gold. “Unless…”

“Unless?” I said breathlessly.

“Unless you think you can outwit fate.”

She cackled; from somewhere else in the tent I swear I heard the sound of a chicken squawking.

Nick looked at me and laughed. He seemed amused by the whole thing. He put a generous offering on the table and stood.

“Well, thank you for your time.”

Her fingers wrapped around the bills.

“Good luck to you both,” she said in barely a whisper.

I was ready to run out of the tent; Nick had other plans. He took my arm and calmly took his time looking at souvenirs. He bought a voodoo doll and handed it to me.

“What’s this for?” I asked, taking the little burlap cloth man in my hand. Nick grinned as we walked out of the tent back into fresh air.

“Think of it as Hunter. I’ll gladly stick a few pins in him myself. Consider it an averted crisis.”

He walked ahead of me, I grabbed his arm.

“Nick, you heard what she said.” I did my best imitation of the gypsy’s voice. “Beware the month of August.”

Nick threw his head back and laughed. “Oh c’mon. It’s all for fun.”

He began to walk again; I tugged at his arm.

“Nick, how would she know we were getting married in August?”

He started to shrug it off, but he must have noted the panicked look on my face because he sighed.

“C’mon Liv. What could go wrong?”

“I don’t know!” I said. My hands began to fly around as I talked; it was my telltale sign of nervousness. “But I know I can’t outwit fate. I’ve seen Final Destination. The boogie man does not like when you try to outsmart him.”

Nick started at me like I was crazy.

“I think you’re still just sleep deprived.” He began to head up the bleachers. I stomped my foot into the packed dirt.

“I’m not sleep deprived!” I said. I began to march after him. “This is serious!”

He sat back down with a thump. I flopped beside him.

“Well what do you want to do?” he said. I could tell he was just trying to humor me. “It’s not like we can call the wedding planner and say ‘Oh, hey…a gypsy told us August isn’t a good month so let’s move it up to July. Okay?’”

My eyes widened. I knew he was being sarcastic, but…

“Nick, that’s a perfect idea.”

He laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“She said beware August. She didn’t say anything about July!”

I took his hand.

“You’re a master outwitter.”

He shook his head.

“There’s no way, Liv,” he said.

“Why not?”

“You can’t just pick up all of our wedding plans and move them up a month.”

“Why not?”

He looked exasperated. “Because…because…” I saw him fumbling for a reason. He smiled.

“Because, Leighanne’s due July 9. You want your maid of honor there, don’t you?”

“If we get married July 2 we should be fine.” Deep down I knew that was a bunch of bologna, but I was in a nice little bubble of denial.

“That’s your birthday,” Nick said. On instinct I touched the heart necklace he had given me on my birthday the year before.

“So? You won’t ever forget our anniversary,” I argued. He shook his head, but didn’t say anything for a few moments.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

I shook my head. He sighed.

“You can call,” he said. “But don’t be disappointed when the wedding planner tells you you’re nuts.”

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him softly. At that moment the ringmaster came out and the circus continued. Even though I squirmed uneasily, I even managed to sit through the clowns.

After a few crazy moments of sheer panic, I felt better. In truth, I probably should have been more concerned about the two dark shadows the gypsy had mentioned. A primal force leading to crisis should have taken precedence over the wedding. For a normal person, it would. I was far from normal.

Brooklyn and Nick made up my whole world and I was getting tired of being the only one that couldn’t stake claim to the Carter name. The only thing my mind was focused on was being a good mother and becoming Mrs. Nickolas Carter.

Voodoo or no voodoo, Nick and I would exchange vows one way or another.

Chapter Six

“Weddings by Design, Valeria speaking.”

“Val, this is Olivia Ryans.”

“O-livia,” she said, stressing the ‘O.’ “I was hoping I would hear from you. We have so much to discuss.”

“Actually, we do have a lot to discuss. I have a problem.”

Nick was sitting on the floor by Brooklyn, a duck puppet on his hand. He looked at me and shook his head. He had been doing that a lot.

“A problem?” Val asked. As a professional planner, she was trained not to let her voice show any panic. “Let’s see if we can solve it, shall we? What’s the problem? Table covers? Dresses?”

“I need to move the wedding to July 2.”

Dead silence filled the line. Finally I heard a sharp intake of breath.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” Val said. “I think our connection broke. What do you need?”

“I need to move the wedding to July 2,” I repeated.

“That’s six weeks away.”

“I know.”

I heard papers flipping madly.

“Isn’t your maid of honor due around then?” she asked. I detected a hopeful note in her voice.

“She is,” I said calmly. “It will be fine.”

I saw Nick lean over and kiss Brooklyn’s forehead. “Mommy’s quackers,” he whispered.

I cupped the phone. “I heard that!” I whispered loudly. He grinned.

“Quack, quack, quack,” he teased, opening and closing the duck’s beak as he spoke.

“O-livia?”

I put the phone back to my ear.

“Yes?”

“You do realize that July 2 is the 4th of July weekend,” Val explained.

“Yeah?”

“That’s one of the biggest wedding weekends of the year.” I heard a huge note of hesitation in her voice.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think we’re going to be able to do this.”

“You don’t think or there’s no possible way?”

I could almost see her chewing her lip on the other end of the phone. On one hand, moving everything would be a total pain in the ass and she’d have to work twice as hard. I’m sure she thought I was being a total bridezilla. On the other hand, the Carter wedding was probably the highest profile wedding Weddings by Design had ever worked on. That meant keeping the bridezilla from freaking out was in the best interest of the company.

“Let me see what I can do,” she said slowly.

I let out a squeal.

“Meanwhile,” she continued. “Could you contact your wedding party? If I can do this, you need to make sure everyone gets their dresses in plenty of time to get any alterations done.”

“That’s fine,” I said happily. “I’ll take care of that.”

I hung up the phone and pumped my fist in the air. Nick looked at me and shook his head. Again.

“Did she say yes?”

“No, but she didn’t say no,” I said. I sat down beside him and picked up a bunny hand puppet. Nick leaned over and kissed me softly.

“You’re a crazy wabbit,” he whispered next to my lips. I laughed.

“Shut up. I’ll feel much better once we get the date moved. Plus, that means we get to honeymoon even sooner.”

That produced a big grin.

“I forgot about that. You still didn’t tell me where you want to go.”

I shrugged. “I really don’t care. I’ll be happy because I’ll be with you. Surprise me.”

Nick smiled. “I thought you don’t like surprises.”

I laughed. “Okay, so maybe I lied.”

I brought my puppet up to Brooklyn’s face and brushed her face in whiskery bunny kisses. I was rewarded with a smile.

“So you don’t hate me after all,” I said. She cooed.

Nick and I sat on the floor seeing who could make the stupid cartoon voices. After awhile I stood up.

“I’ve got to make some calls,” I said.

“To who?”

“The girls. I just need to give them a heads up, especially about their dresses and alterations.”

Nick smiled. “Make the phone calls in here.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t wait to hear Leighanne when you tell her you moved the wedding up.”

I rolled my eyes.

“You’re being overly dramatic. She’ll understand.”

Nick laughed. “We’ll see.”

-------------------------------------

“You’re what?!”

“We’re moving up the wedding. I thought tomorrow I can come up to Atlanta and we can get you a dress.”

“You’re kidding.”

I had Leighanne on speaker phone. Nick was highly amused.

“I’m due July 9!”

“I know. But it will be fine.”

“I don’t even know if I’ll be able to walk down the aisle!”

“Think positive,” I said. “Can I come up and help you pick out a dress tomorrow?”

I heard her put her hand over the phone. A few seconds later Brian was on the phone.

“Was this Nick’s idea?”

“What?” I said surprised. “No.”

“Are you sure? It sounds like something Nick would do.”

“I’m innocent!” Nick yelled out.

Brian sighed. “Well you’re more than welcome to come up tomorrow. What happened to August?”

I fidgeted in my seat. Nick spoke up.

“I took Liv to the circus and decided to get my fortune read and…”

“So this is your fault,” Brian interjected.

“Dude, let me finish,” Nick said. Brian made a clicking noise with his tongue.

“So the fortune teller tells us that these two dark forces are out to get us and then she proceeds to tell us to beware the month of August.”

“So how is this not your fault? Between the Ouija boards and the fortune tellers…”

“It was just for fun!”

“You don’t tell a bride that the month of her wedding is doomed. Take it from someone who’s been married more than a decade.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Well gee, thanks for giving me this advice before!”

Brian laughed.

“Hold on, I’m putting Leigh back on.”

“So tomorrow afternoon?” Leighanne asked.

“Yeah. I’ve got to call Rochelle, Leigh, and Angel, Leslie, and BJ. They’ve already ordered their dresses but I’m going to let them know that as soon as they come in we’ve got to get them altered. I’ll call you back with my flight time.”

I took her off speakerphone and we spent a couple more minutes talking about random things. When I hung up, I immediately dialed Rochelle.

I heard the ‘Are you crazy?’ line four more times. Even so, everyone was sticking by me no matter what. When I told Angel, all she could do was laugh.

“Are you sure you want to marry my brother? I swear he can get you guys in trouble without even trying.”
I laughed. “Lucky for him, I love him unconditionally.”

I heard a weird noise in the background. “Angel, where are you?”

“Oh, I’m up in Montreal doing a modeling shoot.”

I smiled. I had a soft spot for Canada. “I’m jealous,” I said. “I’ll call you if the boutique tells me your dress has come in.”

“Thanks, Liv. By the way, how’s Brooklyn?”

I glanced over to see Nick scooping her up. He pinched his nose to indicate a diaper change. I smiled.

“She was going through dad withdrawal. After three weeks of crying, he walked through the door and found the secret to keeping her happy.”

Angel laughed. “It figures. Listen, I’ve got to get back to work, but I promise that the second I’m home I’ll be ready to get into wedding mode. Geesh, I can’t believe it. Six weeks from now you’ll be my sister-in-law.”

I smiled.

“I can’t wait. I’ll see you when you get back.”

I hung up and made my flight reservation. I called Leighanne back with my arrival time and then set the phone down with a sigh of relief. Seconds later panic hit me like a tornado.

Even though all of the girls but Leighanne had their dresses, I had yet to find a dress. I had been determined to wait until the last moment to shed the last little bit of baby weight I possibly could. My palms began to sweat. I had a feeling that taking a quick look in Atlanta wouldn’t hurt.

As I was lost in my thoughts, Nick came back downstairs with Brooklyn. I heard the television turn on and the telltale sounds of a NBA pre-game show start blasting through the room.

I looked up and had to laugh. Nick had put on his Celtics jersey. I had almost forgotten that the NBA quarterfinals were going on. Nick, as always, was rooting for the boys in green. He was obviously ready for a father-daughter bonding moment; Brooklyn was decked out in a little Celtics cheerleading outfit. He had even put a green bow in her hair. She looked like an adorable miniature blonde leprechaun.

“I don’t remember that outfit,” I said with a laugh.

“I bought it when I did my solo tour. I was waiting for the perfect occasion to bring it out. We’re going to the semifinals, right Brookey?”

Loud gurgles filled the room. I saw Nick slide a cloth down across his chest.

“No droolin’ on the jersey, darling.”

Nick got lost in the game; Brooklyn fell asleep halfway through. I spent the time absorbed in bridal websites. After awhile all of the wedding gowns seemed to blur together.

Moving the wedding up a month didn’t seem like a big deal. Finding a wedding dress?

Near impossible.

Chapter Seven

The next morning, I packed my carry-on bag and stood in the kitchen giving Nick a list of instructions.

“Milk for Brooke’s in the refrigerator. Don’t drink it,” I warned. He rolled his eyes.

“If you need anything, call my mom and she’ll come over and give you a hand.”

“I know,” Nick said. He stepped closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I tilted my head slightly to meet his eyes.

“Now, I have some instructions for you,” he teased. His lips brushed mine gently. I smiled; so far I liked his instructions.

“Don’t stress out,” he warned. It was my turn to roll my eyes.

“Everything’s going to work out and whatever doesn’t will still be fine.”

I smiled and kissed him again.

“I’ll try to remember that.”

I glanced at the clock.

“I’ve got to get going,” I said. I picked up my car keys. Nick followed me to the front door.

“I still wish you would let me drive you.”

I shook my head. “It’s too much hassle to get Brooklyn in and out of the car just to watch me take off.”

Nick sighed. “Well, if anyplace has security, it’s the airport. Call me if you have any trouble.”

I kissed him again. “I will. Love you.”

“Love you too, babe.”

With a backwards step and a wave, I headed to my car. I threw my duffel bag into the passenger seat and climbed in.

A productive day in Atlanta was on the horizon.

-----------------------------------------

I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. I spent a few minutes at the newsstand flipping through magazines. I became so engrossed in an issue of People that I didn’t notice someone step up next to me so close that they completely crossed the line for personal space.

“So where are you going?”

I looked over surprised and instinctively grabbed for my purse. Hunter got to it before I did.

“Give me my purse back,” I hissed.

“So you can tase me again?” he said. He shook his head. “No way, uh-uh.”

He opened my purse and began to rifle through the contents. I didn’t want to make a scene in the airport; but if he pulled out the taser I was going to yell my lungs out. As he pushed his way to the bottom of my “Mary Poppins” purse, a few items fell out. I took a step forward and kneeled down to get them, all the while keeping my eye on Hunter. My foot contacted with something soft and squishy.

“MOTHER FUCKER!”

He dropped my purse and grabbed his knee. A few people stopped and stared; I decided to treat it as an opportunity. I scooped up hairclips and burp rags and put them back in my purse. I slung it back over my shoulder and began to back away. Hunter’s cries of pain seemed to stop immediately. When I looked down I realized that I had been stepping on the leg of the voodoo doll Nick had bought for me at the circus.

The one that Nick had proudly declared was ‘Hunter.’

I scooped it up while Hunter rubbed his knee in utter confusion and shoved it into my purse. Not wasting a second, I took off through the throngs of people towards the gate. I didn’t seem to breathe until I was safely strapped in my seat and we were cleared for takeoff.

Of all the places to see Hunter, I hadn’t expected to see him at the airport. I could only hope that he was taking a plane back to Wisconsin. As the city began to shrink and the clouds began to grow, I couldn’t help but take the doll out from my purse. A few strands of red wiry hair poked from the top of the otherwise plain doll.

It had to have been a strange coincidence, right? I mean, if I really thought about it, I had never considered myself superstitious before. I think the reason that I panicked about the wedding was because the old gypsy lady had found my vulnerability. No matter what, I didn’t want my wedding to Nick to be anything like my wedding to Hunter.

As a young twenty-something I thought of a wedding as a fairytale. I dreamed of a lush, bright outdoor gazebo wedding with yellow flowers everywhere and a huge wedding party. In reality I had gotten a Catholic Church wedding in dark gray and white, red roses, a maid of honor and one bridesmaid.

I refused to be bullied over this time around. At the slightest mention of a problem, I wanted to avoid it. I wasn’t getting married again. This was my chance to have a wedding that I could look back on with happy tears in my eyes. This was the wedding I could gush about to Brooke. I had been pressured to give my first wedding dress to Hunter’s sister. I had hated it anyhow, but it was just another instant of me giving in. This time I wanted to be able to pull out my wedding dress and offer it to Brooke for when she walked down the aisle someday. Hopefully a long someday away, but still…someday.

With a sigh, I stuffed to doll back into my purse. I had a sinking feeling that one of the ‘dark forces’ the gypsy had talked about was Hunter. I couldn’t fathom was he could do to our wedding, but I would try anything to stop him.

As soon as we received the all clear to use electronic devices, I checked my cell phone messages. My heart gave a little leap as I saw a voicemail from Valeria. I held my breath and listened to the message.

“O-livia. This is Valeria. I have good news and bad news. Bad news is that we can’t do Key West on July 2. Good news is I found a beautiful beach for July 2 in Tampa. I’ve also found a reception hall close by. Please call when you get this message.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I impatiently listened to the ringing of the phone.

“Weddings by Design. Valeria speaking.”

“Val, this is Olivia.”

“O-livia. You got my message?”

“I did. We’ll take it.”

“Really?” She sounded relieved.

“Yes. Now what’s the name of the reception hall?” I powered on my laptop as I spoke. I was ready to Google my heart out.

“Oh, it’s wonderful. It actually seats more than the one we found in Key West. It’s called the Plantation House. It’s fifteen minutes from the ceremony site. Dining would be held outside while they have outside dancing overlooking the ocean. I already spoke to our caterer and they can do July 2 in Tampa. It will cost a little more for such a last minute switch, but…”

“That’s fine. Absolutely fine,” I said. I found the website for the Plantation House. The moment I opened it up I fell in love. Our reception location in Key West had been the one thing that I had conceded on. It would have been a tight squeeze to fit all of our guests; this looked absolutely perfect.”

“Please go ahead and book both places,” I added. “How soon can we get our invitations out?”

“If I get these booked I can get them to the printers this afternoon. They can go out in about a week.”

“Wonderful. Thank you so much Val.”

“Oh, it was no problem,” she said calmly. I was wondering if she had a bald spot from tearing out her hair yet. “Happy brides equal happy weddings.”

We spoke for a few more minutes and then I hung up feeling much better. August 6 was now just a mere memory. July seemed to be a good karma month. I needed all the positive karma I could get.

------------------------------------------------

My plane landed in Atlanta right on time. I had my purse and my carryon and I was ready to go. I smiled when I saw Brian. He gave me a hug.

“Hey, Liv. How you doing?”

“Great. Where’s Leigh?”

“She’s at home with Baylee. I didn’t want her to mess around with all these crowds and everything.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Not bad.”

We walked out of the airport and I followed him to his car. Once we were driving along the Interstate, Brian glanced over at me.

“What are you going to do if Leigh delivers early?” he asked. I took a deep breath. It was something I didn’t want to think about, but I had.

“I’m going to have Angel be my stand in.”

“Well, Leighanne and I want to be there. But I mean there’s always that possibility. Babies have a mind of their own.”

I grinned. “Tell me about it.”

“I’m also going to warn you,” Brian said with a smile. “She’s extremely emotional. If she starts freaking out while you’re shopping your best bet is to suggest stopping for lunch. Preferably Chinese. I swear our daughter is going to come out holding a pair of chopsticks in her hand.”

I laughed just picturing it. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Twenty minutes later we pulled up to their house. I got out, thinking about the last time I had been there. It had definitely been under uncomfortable circumstances. I was hoping today would be much more enjoyable.

Leigh was sitting at the kitchen table with Baylee. He seemed to be in the middle of a worksheet of math problems. He was chewing on his lip in utter concentration.

“Anyone home?” I called out, peeking around the doorway.

“LIV!” Baylee said happily. He threw down his pencil and raced over to me for a hug. I squeezed him tightly. He had grown like a weed…

And his hair was short.

“Look at you!” I said in surprise. “You look so grown up.”

He smiled. “I cutted it myself.” I looked over at Leighanne. She looked sad.

“He decided to play barber one day when I went to take a nap. All that beautiful curly blonde hair…” she sighed.

While she sighed, I was having flashbacks to all the ‘Before they were Stars’ pictures I had seen of Brian. It looked like he had been cloned. I dug in my carryon bag.

“You probably don’t want this,” I teased. I held up an art set. Baylee’s eyes lit up.

“For me?!”

I laughed. “For you.”

“Thank you!”

Baylee ran back over to his seat and threw the lid open on the set. Leighanne calmly handed him his pencil.

“Math first. Then play.”

Baylee folded his arms across his chest and slumped down in his seat. Brian walked past me and took the pencil from Leighanne’s hand.

“C’mon Bay, math’s not that bad. That was my favorite subject in school. Let’s have a times table race.”

Baylee looked at him, I could see a pout forming.

“You’re going to beat me.”

“That’s not true. C’mon.”

Leighanne stood up and grabbed her purse.

“We’re going to head out.”

Brian paused to give her a kiss. Leighanne kissed the top of Baylee’s head.

“Do you math, sweetie. The sooner you finish the sooner you can play with the art set. Love you.”

Brian took a seat next to Baylee and they began to work on the sheet together. I followed Leighanne out the door.

“I wish I could turn back time and make him three again,” she said with a sigh. “He’s the moodiest eight year old I’ve seen.”

“Is he still having baby issues?” I asked. She nodded.

“I think it’ll be better after she gets here. Wait, scratch that. I hope it’ll get better after she gets here.”

As we buckled into the car, I glanced over at her. It hadn’t been long ago that I was eight months pregnant, but in contrast to me, Leighanne still looked great. Gravity was her best friend. She had a perfectly round tummy. Mine had scattered out like a swollen misshapen pancake.

“You look great Leigh,” I said. She sighed.

“I hate the last two months. I’m tired, I’m grouchy, and I’m impatient.”

I smiled. That pretty much summed it up.

We stopped at a boutique right in the heart of downtown Atlanta. Before we got out, she turned and looked at me.

“Have you gotten your dress yet?”

I shook my head.

“Well, I saw one when I tried on a couple dresses a few weeks ago. It might have been a Vera Wang. I think it would look great on you.”

There was no doubt in my mind that she had impeccable taste; I smiled.

“Let’s go take a look, shall we?”

As we walked into the boutique I couldn’t help but wonder if today was the day I’d find my princess dress. Every little girl dreams of the day when they can feel like royalty.

I hadn’t felt it the first time around, but then again I hadn’t found my prince.

Little did I know that my true prince was a blonde haired Florida boy with an amazing voice…

And an amazing heart.

Chapter Eight

The moment we walked into Bridals by Lori I was blown away. I almost feel bad calling it a boutique; it was a humongous couture bridal shop. I could tell that the names Vera Wang and Arnsale were heard often in the store.

With the sure air of someone who had already done the paces through the store, Leighanne and I walked through the store and ended up at a collection of bridesmaids dresses. The moment her hand touched one of the fabrics, a sales associate appeared out of the thin air.

“Hello. Welcome to Bridals by Lori. My name is Candace. What can we do for you today?”

Leighanne smiled. “Hello Candy.”

The girl’s eyes widened. “Oh, Mrs. Littrell. It’s so wonderful to see you!”

“I need to get a bridesmaid dress. I was in a few weeks ago and found a couple dresses to try on.”

“When’s the wedding?”

“July 2,” I said.

Candace’s eyes widened. “Oh dear, that’s six weeks away.”

“I know.”

She looked at me. “And you are?”

“She’s the bride,” Leighanne interjected. She put an arm around my shoulders and smiled.

In that second Candace’s whole demeanor changed. All of a sudden I was just as important as Mrs. Littrell.

“Have you found your dress yet?” she asked.

“Actually, I thought I would look around today.”

“Absolutely. Why don’t we see to that bridesmaid dress and then we can pull out some gowns.”

Candace pulled out several gowns that Leighanne pointed to.

“All of these can be ordered in mermaid, right?” I asked. Candance nodded.

“Absolutely. What a beautiful color choice.”

As we headed to the dressing room, Leighanne and I looked at each other. We rolled our eyes at the same time. There was such a thing as trying too hard.

“Now, will you have had the baby by July 2, Mrs. Littrell?” Candace asked as she hung the dresses in a large private room.

“No,” Leighanne said sadly.

“Well that shouldn’t be a problem,” Candace cajoled. “We’d be happy to rush any last minute alterations. You’re one of our best clients.”

Leighanne smiled. “Thank you.”

Candace disappeared and we were left alone in the private room. I smiled.

“One of their best clients, huh?”

Leighanne laughed. “Any time the guys have an event I come here first. It’s like a one stop shop. The least they could do was rush a last minute alteration.”

If I had thought getting into a dress six months pregnant was bad, I should have tried it almost eight months pregnant. I felt a deep pang of guilt as Leighanne teetered as I helped her get into the first dress. I couldn’t zip the back at all. She barely glanced at the mirror before she shook her head.

“No way. Even in a bigger size it would pull across the belly too much.”

The verdict was the same for the second dress. On the third try, I felt more confident from the moment she stepped into the dress. I zipped it up easily.

The dress she tried on was a champagne color, but I could already picture it in that turquoise color called mermaid. The dress had thin shoulder straps and a beaded bodice. It had an empire waist and then just flowed right down to the ground. If you looked at Leighanne head on, you almost couldn’t tell she was pregnant. Only her profile showed the bump.

“What do you think?” Leighanne said. I smiled.

“I think this one’s great. Is it comfortable?”

She nodded. “Extremely.”

We spent a few more minutes analyzing the dress. She turned in every direction.

“It would be easy to alter,” she added.

“It also supports the girls,” I mentioned. She laughed.

“Shall I call Candace back in?” Leighanne nodded.

I found Candace and we walked back into the dressing room. After listening to her gush for several minutes, we got down to business and placed the order.

“I can rush this in. It should be about two weeks. We’ll order it in a bigger size. Like I said we can do last minute alterations for you.”

“Oh, I appreciate it,” Leighanne said kindly. Of course, she was pretty much always kind. The woman had the patience of a saint.

Candace left us to place the order and I helped Leighanne slip out of the dress. Her hands rested on her belly for a moment.

“Have you thought of any names?” I asked. Leighanne smiled.

“Kayleigh Danielle.”

I smiled. “Oh, I love that.”

“Really? You’re the first person I’ve told. Don’t tell Brian. He wants to keep it a secret.”

I laughed. “My lips are sealed. But no, I love it.”

“I can’t wait to see her,” Leighanne said. She began to get dressed.

“I know exactly how you feel,” I said. I could still picture Brooklyn’s tiny little eyes staring up at me for the first time and the look on Nick’s face as he caught her.

We walked out of the dressing room, both lost in thoughts of baby; however, we won’t lost long. Candace was waiting right outside.

“So how about those wedding dresses?”

I smiled. “Sure.”

“Let me show you the one that caught my eye…” Leighanne said. The three of us walked through the stores. After we got past the bridesmaid section we walked into a sea of white. I felt like I was in a blank comic strip. It was just that white.

Leighanne stopped by a dress front facing on the wall. It was a beautiful dress with capped sleeves. I nodded.

“I’ll try that one.” I said. Candace picked it up and draped it over her arm.

I walked along feeling overwhelmed. For my first wedding my choice had been easier; the plus size section definitely did not have the selection that was available for the size 12 and under set. I picked out a few more dresses and then we began to make our way back to the dressing room.

As we rounded a corner that’s when I saw it. I first saw it on a mannequin from the back and yet right away I knew I had to have the dress.

“That one,” I said, pointing out. Candace bumped right into me, buried under the pile of silk and lace that I had already accumulated.

“Which one?” she asked. She lowered the pile.

“Oh that one?” she said. “That’s a one of a kind.”

I turned to look at her. “Can I try it on?”

“It’s a size eight.”

I stifled a curse. I had done a little dance when I had finally been able to button my size tens again.

“Can’t I try it on?” I asked hopefully.

Candace looked at me. I could tell she wanted to say something, probably along the lines of ‘Ir’s never going to happen,’ but she didn’t.

“I’ll come back and get it off the mannequin while you try these.”

Candace dropped Leighanne and I back off at the dressing room and disappeared. Half-heartedly I began to try on the other dresses.

“That one’s nice,” Leighanne would say; or “I like the beading.” Each time the dress went into the discard pile. I had just put on the last of my selections when Candace knocked on the door. I opened it eagerly.

“Oh look at you!” she gushed. “This one’s beautiful. I love the bare shoulders and the way it gathers right along the middle.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t really like it,” I said politely. I took it from her hands. I stared at it thoughtfully. Leighanne did the same thing. Candace bit her lip.

“Like I said, it’s a one of a kind. Size eight.”

“You know,” Leighanne said hesitantly. “I swear by Spanx. Have you tried Spanx?”

I looked at Leighanne gratefully then turned to Candace.

“Do you have some Spanx? I think I want some Spanx.”

Candace ran off. While she went in search of magical Spanx I admired the dress. Its thin white straps criss crossed to allow for a bare back. The sides and bottom of the dress gathered perfectly just above the backside and flowed down in perfect folds. The train was long, but not too long. It seemed like the perfect beach dress. The front of the dress was just as lovely. Light beading dripped down the bodice and the front of the dress. Unlike the other dresses it felt light in my arms.

“I’ve got to fit into this dress,” I said. Leighanne smiled.

“I felt the same way about my wedding dress,” she said.

At that moment Candace slipped back into the room holding a package.

“Here you go.”

I took the package; she stood awkwardly in the room. I smiled.

“I think that’s all I need. Thank you.”

“Let me know if you need any…help.”

She left the room and I opened the Spanx.

“Pray for me Leighanne.”

I had never been in a dry wet suit, but I had a feeling that would be the best analogy to the feeling of putting on and trying to breathe in the Spanx. With a shaky sigh that I tried to attribute to the lack of room to inhale or exhale, I reached for the dress. I undid the hidden zipper along the bottom and decided to go in head first.

I was fine until I reached my hips. The material stubbornly stopped and I had a few seconds of panic. I couldn’t see anything but white and my arms stuck out of the top of the dress like seaweed.

“Here, lemme help,” Leighanne said. I felt her working at the material, unbunching it in placed to give me the last few centimeters that I needed. We both let out a sigh of relief when I felt the dress fall to the floor.

“I’m in,” I declared as Leighanne slid the zipper up.

“You’re about this much from zipping up all the way,” she said, putting her fingers just barely apart. I turned towards the mirror.

The Spanx had worked fairly well. As I did a complete turn, I decided to make quiet bargains with God. If only I could lose about ten more pounds before the wedding I wouldn’t cuss so much. Or lose my patience. I’d volunteer at a soup kitchen. I’d donate clothes to Goodwill.

I just needed this dress to fit like a dream.

“What do you think?” I finally asked Leighanne. She smiled.

“If you’re like me when I was in the homestretch for my wedding, you’re going to spend the next six weeks living off lettuce,” she said with a laugh.

I looked back at the mirror; I bounced on the balls of my feet. I was tough; I was like Rocky Balboa. I could do this. Hell, maybe I’d even get out Nick’s Wii and do some Wii Fit. Aw crap, I just promised God I wouldn’t cuss anymore.

Maybe that could start after I bought the dress, right?

“I’m going to get it,” I said. Even though the zipper didn’t close all the way, I loved the look of my exposed back with just the thin white straps crossing across the skin. The front wasn’t extravagant, but it just felt like a beach dress. The dress was even the perfect length without shoes. I wouldn’t even need alterations. I just needed to lose a few pounds. Spanx would do the rest.

Spanx was my new miracle drug.

At that moment Candace knocked on the door. I opened it and smiled proudly. She looked surprised.

“Oh!” she said. She cleared her throat. “How lovely.”

“I’m going to get it,” I said happily. I turned around in a circle.

“The back isn’t closed all the way,” she pointed out. “I don’t think we’ll be able to alter it because of the hidden zipper.”

I waved her off. “It’s fine. I’m good. Don’t worry. I’m taking the Spanx too.”

She nodded and disappeared. Leighanne helped me wrangle the dress up and over my head. I took of the Spanx and began to resume normal breathing again.

“Are you going to wear your dress while you get your hair done?” Leighanne asked me. I studied the gown appreciatively.

“I’m going to have to. Maybe. We’ll see,” I said.

I redressed and Leighanne and I walked out. I held the gown in my arms. As we made our way to the counter, I heard a nasally voice let out a little cry.

“That’s my dress!”

The voice was so nearby, I couldn’t help but turn. When I did I saw a skinny blonde with her hair pulled so tight that her forehead looked like a blank billboard, pointing a thin finger at me.

“What are you doing with my dress?” she demanded.

I looked at her incredulously; on instinct I hugged the dress closer.

“I’m buying this dress,” I said calmly.

The girl whirled around to look at who I could only assume was her mother.

“That’s my dress!” she wailed.

I decided that it was probably in my best interest to just keep walking. I nudged Leighanne and we continued towards the counter; Candace seemed to have completely disappeared.

The word ‘surprised’ was an understatement when I felt a rough hand grab my hair and yank my head back. I let out a surprised yell as I lost my balance and landed hard on my tailbone on the showroom floor.

Skeletor was hovering over me again. Her hands reached down and for one crazy instant I thought she was going to choke me. Then I realized she was headed towards my dress.

My fight or flight instinct kicked in. With her fingertips barely a hair’s breath away from the dress, I grabbed her wrist and turned with all my might. She screamed and then did something I never expected any refine Southern lady to do:

She bit me.

I yelled out a string of cusswords. Desperate to get the barracuda’s teeth out of my hand, I reached around and yanked the blonde pony tail. Her head swung back, I saw her eyes water in pain. Even so, she grabbed my leg and twisted it at an unnatural angle.

In the melee, I lost grip of the dress. As I continued to struggle with the Paris Hilton lookalike, I saw Leighanne and the girl’s mom head towards the dress at the same time. Leighanne got their first and scooped it up. She backed up slowly.

“Is there a problem here?”

It was Candace. I wanted to smack her. What did it look like? I let go of the girl’s pony tail; she let go of my leg. I stood up; my leg protested.

“She attacked me,” the girl wailed. I looked at her incredulously.

“She attacked me, first,” I corrected.

“That’s my dress!” she yelled.

“No, it’s my dress!”

“Ladies, ladies,” Candace said. “There’s no need to fight.”

“Candace, I was in here last week. That’s my dress,” the girl said. Her lip overextended in a horrible pout.

“In all honesty Ms. Garber, you just tried it on last week.”

“So?”

I folded my arms; I just wanted to get out of here. Leighanne had disappeared with my dress. While Candace talked with “Ms. Garber,” the piranha, I snuck away.

Leighanne was waiting at the counter. Another girl was carefully bagging up my dress.

“Just whip out your credit card and that dress is yours,” she whispered. I smiled.

“Good thinking.”

With a slid of the card and receipt and bag in hand, the dress was mine. Unfortunately we had to walk by the girl and her mother on the way to the door. She freaked out the moment she saw me. I quickly waved to Candace.

“Thanks for the help!”

Leighanne and I couldn’t help but laugh when we got out the door. I had some puncture wounds on my hand and a pulled muscle in the back of my leg, but it was all for a good cause.

I had the dress.

Chapter Nine

“Want to stop for lunch?” Leighanne asked hopefully. I glanced back at the garment bag hanging by the passenger window. I had the irrational fear that someone would break into the car while we were eating and yank the dress out from under my nose. I’m sure Skeletor might have even decided to follow us. I looked in the rearview mirror; we were the only car on the street.

“Why don’t we go back to your house?” I suggested. “Maybe Brian can go get some takeout?”

Leighanne laughed. “Honey, if you’re this paranoid now, where in the world are you going to keep it when you get it home?”

“I’m taking it to my mom’s,” I said confidently. “Trust me; she’d tear someone’s leg off if they tried to mess with her daughter’s dress.”

I was more worried about getting it home on the plane. I knew I couldn’t squeeze it into a carry-on bag, yet the thought of having to send it through baggage…

“You know, you might want to ship it through the UPS store,” Leighanne suggested. “There’s one a couple blocks away.”

I felt my palms grow sweaty.

“You can insure it.”

I bit my lip.

“It would be better than having the airport handle it.”

I let out a sigh.

“You’re right.”

Five minutes later Leighanne and I stood in the empty UPS store while a bored looking twenty-something year old stared at us.

“I need this shipped,” I said. “I need a big box and packing peanuts. A lot of packing peanuts.”

He took his sweet time getting the box out. He pulled a lever and a cascade of packing peanuts flew out into it. When he filled the box halfway he looked back at me and held out his hands.

I stared at the bag in my arm. Leighanne put her hand on my shoulder.

“Liv, give the nice man the bag,” she instructed. “You’ll see it safe and sound in a day.”

I handed the bag over and let out a little cry as he put it down in the box. More packing peanuts showered down on it. When he was done, he turned to the computer.

“Address you want it shipped to?”

I carefully said my mom’s address. Before he printed the label I made him turn the screen to me so I could see for myself that everything was typed correctly.

“What shipping option would you like?” he asked. He gave Ben Stein a run for his money in the monotone department.

“Overnight, please.” I said. That way I would only have twenty four hours of sheer panic. I could handle that. I had given birth; I could handle anything. Right?

“Insurance?”

“Yes.”

“Cost of the item?”

I looked at him blankly. Leighanne nudged me.

“What was the cost of the dress?”

I looked at her blankly. She looked amused.

“They gave you your receipt, right?”

I dug around in my purse. I was in such a rush to swipe the card and get out of the shop that I had thrown everything haphazardly into my purse. I pulled out the slip and smoothed out the wrinkles.

I almost had a heart attack.

“Leighanne,” I said, my voice sounding weird even to my own ears. “I spent thirty five hundred dollars. On a dress.”

This didn’t seem to shock her. She laughed. “Hey you did better than me and I bought mine over ten years ago.”

“Did you say $3500?” the guy asked. I looked up; I felt myself nod. I looked back at the slip.

Nick had given be a credit card shortly after I had moved in with him. He told me to buy what I wanted and not worry about it. I guess he thought that a girl from Wisconsin was much more trustworthy than any Hollywood starlet he had ever dated. He had laughed at my ten thousand dollars in credit card debt that Hunter had racked up. With a simple signature to a check he had made all my endless worries disappear.

But now I had just spent thousands of dollars. On one dress.

“You know, that’s really not that bad,” Leighanne cajoled as we walked out of the store. “I mean, the dress is one of a kind.”

I nodded.

“And you are going to be photographed for magazines.”

I nodded.

“And you can always tell him Leighanne made you do it.”

I looked over at her.

We burst out laughing.

“So about lunch…”

Without the bag in the car, I was feeling much better. I nodded.

“Sounds good.”

We pulled up to a Chinese restaurant about a mile from their house. As we walked in, I saw Leighanne close her eyes and inhale deeply.

“Amazing,” she said.

We sat at a little corner table. Leighanne didn’t even glance at the menu. I studied mine intently, glad that they had little calorie information by each item.

“What are you getting?” I asked Leighanne.

“General Tsao’s chicken,” she said happily. “What about you?”

I glanced at the menu again.

“Egg drop soup.”

“Seriously? Just egg drop soup?”

“Yup.”

“You’re gonna make me look bad.”

I laughed.

“You’re pregnant.”

At that moment the little waiter made his way to our table. I ordered my soup. With a shake of her head, Leighanne ordered her general tsao’s. After he walked away, Leighanne smiled and took a sip of her drink.

“I don’t envy Nick for the next six weeks.”

I looked at her in surprise. “Why?”

“Because if you think you’re going to live off of egg drop soup and salads you’re going to be a bear.”

I rolled my eyes. “It won’t be that bad,” I said. “Plus, the end result will make it worth it.”

Leighanne started to say something else, but at that moment my cell phone rang. I looked at her apologetically and checked the display. It was Nick.

“Hold that thought,” I said. “It’s Nick.”

“Hello?”

“Hey Livvy, how’s dress shopping going?”

I heard a loud telltale cry in the background. I smiled.

“Fine. How’s it going with Brooklyn?”

“She’s giving me attitude. I put on those little hand mitts ‘cause she scratched her face and she’s throwing a hissy fit.”

I laughed. “Her doctor’s appointment is Monday. We can ask Dr. Tresher to trim them.”

“Okay. When’s your flight back?”

I glanced at my watch.

“In a few hours. Leighanne and I are at lunch now and then we’ll swing by their house and I’ll have Brian give me a lift to the airport.”

“Did you find a dress for yourself?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“I did.”

My heart began to beat faster. I felt my mouth go dry. I hadn’t told him I was shopping for my dress. There’s only one way he could have known…

“Good, otherwise I just approved someone else to have a field day with your credit card.”

I winced.

“Nick I didn’t realize it was that much.”

He laughed.

“I don’t care. As long as you’re happy—“

“I’m in love.”

“Ouch. I’m being replaced for a dress?”

“No! It’s just an amazing dress.”

“I can’t wait to see it.”

“You have six weeks to wait.”

“Ugh. Is it easy to get off?”

I laughed. “Why?”

“Because, as soon as you and I are alone I don’t care how much the thing costs, it’s going on the floor.”

I felt myself blush. He rendered me speechless. He laughed again.

“With that thought in your mind, I’ll see you when you get home. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I hung up and leaned back in the chair. Leighanne looked over at me.

“Credit card company call for approval?” she guessed. I nodded.

“What did he say?”

“He laughed it off.”

“See? No problems.”

The waiter returned with our food and we dug in. Well, Leighanne dug in; I just slowly sipped the soup. I hated egg drop soup. The general tsao’s chicken smelled like heaven. I tried to pretend the soup was the sugary chicken I loved so much. It was too far of a stretch. I took copious amounts of water to wash it down.

“Want a bite?” she said, gesturing to a piece. I shook my head.

“Nope, I’m good.”

“You look like you’re strapped to a chair and being tortured,” she said. I laughed.

“No, I’m good.”

I took another sip. I couldn’t do it anymore. I took another sip of water and decided conversation was better than trying to continue with the soup.

“So, we’re not getting married in Key West anymore,” I said. Leighanne wiped her mouth on a napkin and looked at me in surprise.

“Then where?”

“Right in Tampa. We actually got a bigger reception venue that overlooks the beach where we’re going to have the ceremony.”

Leigh smiled. “And it’s a quicker car ride for us.”

I made a face. “I’m so sorry.”

She waved it off nonchalantly. “It’s okay. I’ve been stuck on a bus for days at a time; I can handle a car ride. Brian’s just going to have to make a lot of bathroom stops.”

I laughed; I knew the feeling

“This is why you’re my maid of honor. You’re the most collected person I know.”

She smiled and brought her glass of iced tea to her lips.

“Oh, honey. You don’t want to see me when I blow.”

I raised an eyebrow. I had slept with her husband and I hadn’t seen her blow. I couldn’t imagine what would need to happen for her to lose her cool.

I didn’t think I wanted to.

We made light conversation for the rest of the meal and then made our way back to their house.

“Before you leave, I want to show you the nursery,” Leighanne said.

I followed her up the stairs and down the hall. Baylee’s door was open; his artwork covered the walls. I saw the big bear that he had gotten in Canada on his bed. Leighanne opened the door right next to his room.

The room was painted a soft a light brown. A dark brown crib with bright pink bedding was against the longest wall. Painted on the wall was a tree in dark brown that bloomed with accent flowers in pinks and whites. Kayleigh Danielle was printed right above the tree in vinyl wall lettering. A rocker and dresser were against another wall. In the corner was the largest dollhouse I had ever seen done in a beautiful white with scrollwork in pink cascading down the sides.

“Oh Leigh, this is amazing,” I said appreciatively. “I love the tree.”

“Thank you,” she said with a smile. I looked over at her.

“Did you?”

“Paint it? Yup.”

I walked over to get a closer look. It was awesome. I couldn’t even draw stick figures.

“I didn’t want to overdo the pink.”

“You didn’t. The light brown walls were a great choice.”

“Well, thank you.”

I turned to see Brian lounging against the doorway. He smiled.

“I spent a whole day in here painting. By the end it looked like I was covered with poo.”

Leighanne laughed.

“Well it doesn’t look like poo on the walls,” I said.

“Yeah, it looks good on the walls,” Brian admitted. “I thought I’d come up and check to see if you need a ride back to the airport.”

I glanced at my watch. It was time. I nodded.

“Yeah, I better take off.”

I hugged Leighanne.

“Thank you for saving my dress.” She laughed.

“It was fun. I’ll see you at your bachelorette party.”

I smiled. “Absolutely.”

I ducked under Brian’s arm back into the doorway. He followed me down the stairs. I stopped by the kitchen to give Baylee a hug and kiss. He was busy with the art set I had brought him.

“Hey Liv?” Brian asked as he held open the door for me.

“Yeah?”

He leaned in, peering at my head.

“What happened to your hair? It looks like someone took a huge chunk out of the back.”

My hand flew to the back of my head where Skeletor had yanked my hair back. I felt a bald spot and sighed.

“It’s a long story, Bri. A long story.”

His face erupted in a smile.

“Good thing we have a long ride to the airport.”

Chapter Ten

“Hi honey, I’m home,” I called.

“Hey babe.”

Nick walked out of the living room, bouncing Brooklyn as he walked. She was still wearing her hand mitts, her arms were waving around angrily in an attempt to dislodge them.

“How’s the little hyena?”

“She’s a little scary when she’s bottled full of quiet anger.”

I laughed and kissed the top of her hair. I looked up at Nick and felt myself relax.

I couldn’t remember a moment since Nick and I met where I had been uncomfortable around him. Even when I was angry at him for punching Hunter’s lights out, I still loved him because he did it for me. He leaned down and gave me a kiss.

“How are Bri and Leighanne?” he asked.

“Good. Leighanne’s very pregnant.”

Nick laughed. “Good, hopefully little Littrell will have as big of pipes as this one.”

“They can cry a duet,” I said. Nick laughed.

We headed into the living room. I sank down in the recliner. Nick set Brooklyn on her play mat and came up behind me. I felt his hands on my shoulders; he started to massage in slow circles. My eyes closed. I felt him lean closer to me.

“Liv?”

“Mmmm?” I was lost in a trance from the rubbing.

“What happened to your hair?”

My eyes flew open.

“Oh that.”

“Yes, that.”

“It’s a funny story.”

His hands stopped rubbing.

“A funny story?”

“I’ll tell you. Just don’t stop rubbing.”

He started back up again; albeit reluctantly. I launched into an abbreviated version of the dress story without the information about the Spanx, the prayers to God, and the fact that I couldn’t really breathe in it. When I got to the point about being yanked backwards by my hair, Nick stopped rubbing.

“Someone yanked you by the hair?”

“She went berserk and started yelling that I had her dress.”

“So what did you do?”

“I grabbed her wrist and yanked with all my might.”

Nick started to laugh. I tilted my head up and looked at him. His face was creased into a smile.

“I would have paid money to see that,” he admitted. I rolled my eyes.

“Well, anyhow, long story short, Leighanne grabbed the dress and the clerk came up. While she was asking what happened, I disappeared, swiped my card as fast as possible and we got out of there.”

“You know, you and Leighanne are quickly becoming like a Lucy and Ethel. You just stumble into trouble.”

I laughed. “That makes you Ricky Ricardo.”

“Want to bang my bongos around?”

I snorted. “You’re so lame.”

“Hey!”

He started to massage my shoulders again. I figured while he was in a good mood I probably should tell him by Hunter.

“By the way,” I said. “I kind of had a run-in at the airport.”

“A run-in?”

I nodded.

“Hunter.”

He stopped rubbing. I felt him lean over. He looked right at me.

“What type of run-in with Hunter?”

“He grabbed my purse and started rummaging through it.”

“Security didn’t stop him?”

I shook my head. “No, but it’s funny. That voodoo doll you bought me fell out and I stepped on it. Hunter grabbed his knee and started hollering. I took my purse and ran off.”

Nick didn’t seem to find it funny.

“We’re getting a restraining order,” he said in a controlled voice.

“I think he might have been heading back to Wisconsin,” I said. He shook his head.

“I don’t care. I don’t want him anywhere near us. It’s not just you I’m worried about.”

I followed his gaze to Brooklyn. She had given up her fight and was sleeping on her play mat. He had a point.

“You’re right. I’ll call the lawyer tomorrow morning.”

Nick smiled and gave me an upside down Spidey kiss. Before he could pull away, I wrapped my arms around the back of his head.

“Does this mean I’m getting lucky tonight?” he whispered. I smiled and nodded. His eyes sparkled. I let go of him so he could stand back up. He walked over and crouched down next to Brooklyn.

“I’ll put her to bed,” he whispered.

“I’ll slip into something more comfortable,” I suggested. I ran up the stairs. Between the running and the physicality of sex, I concluded that I should meet my exercise requirements for the day. Right?

I pulled back the covers and opted for candles instead of lamps. I tore off my shirt and jeans and rooted around the closet for some lingerie. I heard Nick head into Brooklyn’s room and the soft sounds of him singing a lullaby. I wiggled into a red lacy number that I hadn’t worn before.

As I walked into the bathroom to see for myself how bad my hair was, I heard Brooklyn begin to cry. I almost did the same when I turned around with a hand mirror and saw the small patch of baldness. I had never considered extensions before, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to be a bald bride. I was even more upset as I ran a comb through and a few more hairs fell out. She seemed to have loosened my entire scalp.

I brushed my teeth and still Brooklyn cried. I applied some perfume and still she cried.

“Do you need any help?” I called out as I walked towards the bed.

“No, I’m good! Just continue getting ready!” Nick called. With a smile I ran my hand over our sheets. I lay down and tried a couple “sexy” poses. Brooklyn’s cries quieted, but still Nick didn’t come in the room.

My head sank down into my pillow. The aromatherapy candles made the whole room seem like a huge bubble of relaxation. The air conditioner kicked on; any mugginess in the room disappeared.

And I fell asleep.

I never heard Nick come into the room. I can imagine that his face looked a lot like a child who learned that there really wasn’t a Santa Claus. There I was, my sexy pose completely lost, my boobs spilling out of the lingerie, my mouth open and fast asleep. And there was Nick, who had worked so hard to get his daughter to sleep and yet faced with a night of absolutely no nookie.

I woke up in the middle of night in absolute confusion. The candles were extinguished and Nick’s warm body was pressed against mine, but he was snoring softly. My eyes went to the clock. It was three thirty in the morning.

As Brooklyn’s cries became shriller, I realized she was the reason for waking up. I slid out of bed and padded into her room. I let the light from the hallway be my guide. I scooped her up and made the natural ‘shhhhh’ sounds.

After a diaper change I settled into the rocking chair for a feeding. I felt grateful as I watched her eyes close.

“You and I have something in common tonight,” I whispered. “We both fell asleep during something important.”

I placed her back in her crib and stood and watched her for several moments. She had grown so much. I loved the way her mouth made sucking movements even as she slept; the way she liked to tuck her legs like a frog, and the way her hands rolled into little mitted fists.

It was good to be a mommy.

With that happy thought in my mind I walked back into our room. Nick opened an eye and watched as I made my way back to the bed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I---“

I didn’t get a chance to explain why I was sorry. The words got lost in my throat as Nick hovered over me and kissed me hard. I’ve never stopped to analyze Nick’s kisses, but I knew that his kisses were like no other. Hunter was always a sloppy, wam-bam-thank-you-ma’am lover. Nick was the complete opposite. His kisses were slow and supple; I loved the feel of his tongue running along my teeth before probing the depths of my mouth. Even when he pulled away to start nipping and licking through the lace on my bodice, I felt the tingle on my lips.

“Don’t nip to hard,” I gasped as my hands ran through his hair. He looked up at me with a smile. I felt his hand dip between my legs.

“What about this?” he whispered. I moaned louder. His eyes sparkled mischievously as his fingers moved. “Or this?”

“Sweet Jesus,” I cried, throwing my head back. He worked quickly and with a mission. Stars exploded in my eyes as I felt my body shudder with sweet release. He leaned back, smiling proudly at his handy work.

The sight of him smiling triggered something in me. I sat up and pushed him sideways. He did a quick roll and landed on his back with a little ‘umpf.’ My hands pressed down on his abs as I swung my leg over him. His hands reached out for me, but I pulled them back over his head.

“My turn,” I said huskily. I kissed him softly and began to work my way down his body. His erection pressed into me as I lavished my way down the hard muscular plane of his stomach and down lower. It was his turn to moan and my hand wrapped around him.

“Not too hard,” he said. I smirked.

“What about this?” I taunted. His eyes widened, his mouth opened to release a strangled sound. “Or this?”

I felt his strong calf press against my behind as I worked my magic. His hands darted towards me again, but I scooted back against his leg. His sigh in frustration.

“What’s a matter?” I teased. My head lowered, my lips parted. I felt his entire body tense up.

“You’re killing me,” he said huskily. As my lips touched him, the only sound I heard was the sound of his breathing coming faster.

He didn’t make it more than a minute before I felt him reach down and touch me. We wrestled playfully along the mattress, ended up diagonally along the bed. I drew his bottom lip into my mouth as his hands ran along my legs.

It might sound saccharine, but every time felt like the first time all over again. I could still picture us at the condo in L.A. on the beach blanket and the way Nick carried me up the stairs. I remember my heart beating as we undressed and the feeling of our skin making contact everywhere.

“Livvy,” Nick murmured into my neck. I loved the sound of my name on his lips. I felt…complete.

I had all that I ever needed in this house.

-----------------------------------------------

Nick and I were still up as the sun rose in the sky. I traced hearts along his chest.

“Will you still love me when I’m old and wrinkly?” he asked. I laughed.

“I’d love you even if you were bald and ate prunes all day and had to soak your teeth in a glass at night.”

It was his turn to laugh. “I never thought I’d meet someone like you.”

I looked at him in surprise. “Nick…”

He shook his head. “I’ve met a lot of girls, but no one like you.”

I closed my eyes; his words were like warm cleansing water.

“Well,” I snuggled up even closer, wrapping my arms around him.

“You’re stuck with me.”

His head rested on my own. My eyes fluttered closed.

We slept for about two hours. Our living, breathing alarm clock woke us up with hungry cries. I groaned; I didn’t want to leave my warm little love nest.

“You want me to get her?” Nick asked groggily.

“No,” I whispered. “She’s hungry.”

I threw on my old robe and went to tend to Brooklyn. As she ate, I closed my eyes again.

My thoughts went back to my wedding dress. I had a feeling I needed to camp out at mom’s house today. I wouldn’t rest easy until I saw the UPS guy holding that big box.

I had risked a chunk of my hair for that dress.

The least it could do was arrive properly on time.

Chapter Eleven

“A watched pot never boils,” my mom warned me. I opened her front door for the hundredth time and stared out forlornly.

“I had it overnighted,” I said, more for my sake than hers. “It should be here. It’s it’s…” I looked back at the grandfather clock in her living room. “It’s eleven o’clock in the morning.”

“They do deliveries until about four o’clock in the afternoon,” my mom reminded me.

I closed the door and sank onto the couch. Brooklyn was lying on the floor cooing to herself. Her legs kicked out happily.

“I can’t believe she’s almost nine weeks old,” my mom said kneeling down next to her. “Look at those little legs kick.”

I smiled. “She’s a smart little girl. For the past couple weeks I’ve still been telling people she’s six weeks old. Time’s getting all screwy.”

I had been at my mom’s house since about eight o’clock in the morning. Nick had been all ready to enjoy a quiet lazy morning when I reminded him that he needed to get his tux ordered.

“The guys and I get tuxes all the time,” he argued. “We could request the day before the wedding and be fine.”

“Nick!”

One look at my face had him recanting. When I left the house with Brooklyn buckled safely into her carrier, he was sending e-mails to the guys with the vest color and style specifics.

“Don’t forget to eat a cinnamon roll,” my mom said. I stifled a sigh.

The minute I had walked into her house I had smelled her world-famous cinnamon rolls. My stomach, empty after having nothing but egg drop soup the day before, rebelled angrily. I had politely declined the first five times she had offered me a roll. My resolve was crumbling as my stress level rose.

“I’ll get one in a bit,” I said. My mom settled down cross legged by Brooklyn and picked up a rattle.

“Does your dress need any alterations?”

I shook my head. “Nope, it’s absolutely perfect.”

“What size is it?”

I hedged around and pretended to be very interested in the bridal magazine I had brought along.

“An eight.”

“An eight?”

I looked up. Mom was staring at me in surprise.

“You know clothes,” I said airily. “In one store you need a twelve; in another you need an eight.”

“You’ve never worn an eight before.”

“Well, I do now,” I said happily.

“Is this why you’re declining my cinnamon rolls?”

Ugh. Moms.

“I can’t eat when I’m nervous,” I explained.

“You always eat when you’re nervous,” mom replied. She was right.

“Okay, I might need to lose about five pounds or so. But it’s a one of a kind dress.”

Mom laughed. “Well I can’t wait to see this one of a kind dress.”

The hours crawled by slowly. I went online every thirty minutes and checked my tracking number. It always said the same thing: out for delivery. By three o’clock I called.

“UPS. How many I help you?”

I gave the guy my name and tracking number.

“The status of your package says that it is currently out for delivery.”

I sighed. “Yes, I know. But, I paid to have it overnighted. What time do you guys stop deliveries?”

“Typically seven o’clock. But, if it’s out for delivery our guys will tend to keep going until the packages have been distributed.”

“What if I don’t get it today?” I said. I heard my voice go up an octave.

“Then please go ahead and call our 24-hour number.”

He gave me a 1-800 number. I hung up feeling unsatisfied.

“What did they say?”

“Well, the guy pretty much hinted that I needed to be patient.”

I fed Brooklyn, hoping that my caught at an inopportune time would bring the UPS guy there faster. By the time I burped her I knew that plan didn’t work.

Nick called around four.

“Hasn’t it come yet?” he asked. “I’m hungry.”

“No, it hasn’t come yet. I’ve got to stay here until it does.”

“Well what are you going to do for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

I hadn’t eaten all day. I was a ball of pent up nerves.

“How late do they stay out and deliver?”

“About seven.”

“I’ll faint by then!”

“Go ahead and get something for yourself. Don’t worry.”

“Can I pick something up for you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll get something over here at mom’s.”

“I love you. Don’t stress out.”

I laughed. That was easier said than done. “Okay. Love you.”

I hung up and sighed. Mom poked her head out of the kitchen.

“I’m making meatloaf. You’re eating whether you want to or not.”

An hour later I sat picking at the meatloaf and looking at the clock. I powered on my laptop and check the status. I about choked on my mashed potatoes when I saw that the status said delivered.

“What’s wrong?” my mom asked. I didn’t stop to answer her. I leapt into the living room and through open the door.

No box.

I yanked out my cell phone and called the 1-800 number. This time a lady answered.

“UPS. How may I help you?”

I gave the lady my name and explained the problem. The more I spoke the squeakier my voice became.

“Okay, calm down. Let me pull up the truck information.”

A line of sweat broke out along my forehead. I could hear the ladies nails clicking on her keyboard.

“The package was delivered to 321 Millton Court.”

My eyes widened. I dug the receipt out of my purse.

“No. No. No. The label on the box said 3321 HILLTOP Court. Your stupid driver took my box to the WRONG street!”

‘Let me see if the driver’s still on the road.”

I was put on hold while the lady tried to dispatch the driver. My mom poked her head out of the kitchen.

“What’s going on?”

I felt tears spring to my eyes.

“They delivered my dress to the wrong house.”

I was heavily crying by the time the lady came back on the line.

“I got in contact with the driver. You should receive your package in the next half hour.”

I choked on a sob and then hiccupped. I was a mess.

“Thank you,” I said with a mighty sniffle.

The lady gave me her name and told me to call if I didn’t get my package in the next hour. I hung up and grabbed a bunch of Kleenex.

“Oh, sweetie,” mom said coming out of the kitchen. She wiped her hands on a towel and then hugged me tightly. “What are we going to do with you?”

I blew my nose hard. “I just want my dress,” I said in a teeny tiny voice. I also wanted to stuff my face full of mashed potatoes and meatloaf, but that was another story.

About twenty minutes later, the doorbell finally rang. I yanked open the door to see a sheepish driver holding my box. I grabbed it and clung to it possessively.

“I’m really sorry about the mix-up,” the driver said, sounding less than sorry. “That must be an important box.”

I glared at him with red rimmed eyes. “You have no idea.”

Without losing my manners completely, I thanked him and closed the door. The moment I did I set the box on the floor and used my nails to work the tape. My mom came and knelt beside me. Brooklyn was in her bouncer, fast asleep.

I pushed the packing peanuts aside. My fingers touched the pink garment bag and I hoisted it out. As I stood peanuts drifted lazily to the ground, some sticking to my leg on the way.

“Where can I hang it?” I said looked around. Mom pointed at the doorway.

“Hang it there and unzip it so I can see.”

I did as she instructed. My heart beat fast as I brought the zipper down.

And there it was in all of its beautiful white glory. I clasped my hands together and let out a sigh.

“Oh, Livvy,” mom said. She stepped forward and scooped the bottom of the dress out of the back. She pulled it forward and looked at the back. “This is beautiful.”

I beamed. My mom glanced at me.

“Can I see it on you?”

My eyes widened. “What?”

“Can I see it?”

I walked over and dug in the bottom of the garment bag. My Spanx was nestled within.

“Alright,” I said. “Let’s do this.”

Twenty minutes later mom tugged the dress down over my hips. Once again I couldn’t breathe, but damn I loved the dress.

“What do you think?” I asked my mom. She smiled.

“It’s beautiful, but it’s so tight. Have you tried sitting in it?”

I gave her a blank look. I had never thought of the need to sit down.

“It’ll be fine,” I said. “I still have six weeks to lose the baby weight.”

“Honey, the baby weight melted off of you. You’re a natural curvy girl.”

I lifted my head and tried to take a deep breath. It was easier said than done.

“Oh, honey. No dress is worth this,” my mom said. I shook my head defiantly.

“This one is.”

My mom knew when to quit. With her help I got out of the dress. I slipped off the Spanx and we put everything back in the garment bag. I watched with a hawk’s eye as she hung the dress in the empty hall closet.

“It will be safe here,” she assured me. I nodded.

“I know.” I pulled back my hair in a ponytail. “But I’m going to evoke visiting rights.”

She laughed. “You can come over here anytime you want.”

I gave her a hug; she gave me cinnamon rolls to take home. I loaded Brooklyn into the car and we took off for home.

I hadn’t done much the entire day, but I was exhausted. The stress of waiting hour after hour for the guy to drop off the box had mentally shorted my mind.

My mouth watered as the smell of icing filled my car. I made up my mind that the minute I got home I was going to nibble on some lettuce and call it a day.

It was hard work being a bride.

Chapter Twelve – May 23

“I’m sorry I had to reschedule,” Dr. Tresher said as she breezed into the office. “I was called out of town. Oh look how big she’s gotten. Ten weeks old, right?”

I nodded.

“So how’s she doing?”

I smiled. “She’s turning her head, she likes being in a sitting position and on her tummy, and she loves her daddy.”

Nick laughed. He had Brooklyn propped against his chest; her chubby hands were wrapped around his fingers.

“Let’s weigh her shall we?” Dr. Tresher said. Nick handed Brooklyn over. I saw a look of confusion on her face. Her head turned towards Nick.

She began to cry. Nick looked at her sadly; I could see him resisting the urge to snatch her back.

“Oh my, little one,” the doctor cooed. She placed Brooklyn on the scale.

“Twelve pounds. Wonderful. She’s gaining weight at a good rate.”

I smiled. The doctor handed Brooklyn back to Nick. He looked into her eyes. Her bottom lip shook as she caught up with her sobs. She began to babble as if to say ‘Dad, don’t let me go!’ Nick kissed both of her cheeks. Dr. Tresher flipped through the clipboard.

“I think we can safely space out our visits a little more unless she gets a cold or you have another concern.”

“Can you cut her nails?”

“Ah, I was wondering where the scratch came from. Sure.”

She scooted her chair close to Nick and with the smallest nail clippers I had ever seen, trimmed Brooklyn’s fingernails. Brooke’s face contorted in a million different ways, but she didn’t cry. She gave the most dramatic infant sigh I had ever heard in my life and leaned against Nick.

Daddy was better than any pacifier or stuffed animal.

“Alright cutie pie. You’re all set.”

Nick proudly carried her out of the room. We were stopped by no fewer than six nurses who wanted to oogle her (and I daresay, Nick). He puffed out his chest proudly; the peacock was getting cocky.

“I didn’t think you could get more irresistible,” I told him as he bent over to buckle Brooklyn into her car seat. “But put a baby in your arm and I’m surprised you got out of there without being stripped down and covered in butter.”

The thought of butter made my mouth water. What I wouldn’t do for butter…and dinner rolls…

Nick stood back up and laughed. “Oh c’mon, I’m just doing what millions of other guys do every day.”

“Yeah, but you look so damn good doing it.”

He kissed me softly. “You’re prejudiced.”

I laughed and got in the car.

Nick swung through the drive through for lunch. He ordered a double cheeseburger and fries; I got a salad, no dressing, no croutons. The smell of the grease had me foaming at the mouth.

“All I’ve seen you eat lately is lettuce,” he complained. “You know, if you want to lose weight, you need a balanced diet and exercise.”

I huffed. “You call a cheeseburger and fries a balanced diet?”

He grinned; I wasn’t getting to him. “Touchy touchy.” He reached over and took a fry from the bag. “Want one?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Uh-uh.”

Nick made orgasmic sounds as he popped the fry in his mouth; I quickly looked out my window.

We got home and I fed Brooklyn and put her down for a nap. I headed back to the kitchen; Nick’s cheeseburger and fries were long gone. I took out my salad and stabbed my fork into the leafy lettuce.

Nick leaned on the counter; his butt stuck up in the air. For one insane moment he reminded me of Brooklyn lying on her play mat. He smiled at me as I tried to make believe the lettuce was chocolate pudding. With cool whip. And a cherry.

“I have a proposition for you,” he said. I looked at him warily.

“Come work out downstairs with me. We’ll take the baby monitor in case Brooklyn starts crying.”

“Work out?” I said in surprise.

It was stupid; but I hated to sweat. The Wii Fit was about my limit on physical activity and that was because it was fun to see the little jumping piggy bank when I earned coins.

“Yeah, I’ll get you on the bike.”

I bit my lip. It was fun to see Nick get all sweaty; I wasn’t too sure about me. I looked down at my stomach and sighed.

“Sure.”

I shoveled down the rest of my ‘rabbit food’ and went up to our bedroom. Nick changed into some sports shorts and a tank top. I put on a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. I tugged my hair into a ponytail.

“That look works for you,” Nick said appreciatively. His arms went around my waist. His warm fingers trailed around my navel. I closed my eyes.

“You’re distracting me,” I murmured.

“Is that a good thing?”

“Mm-hmm.”

He spun me around and tugged on my ponytail. I sighed.

“Let’s call that a preview. If you get sweaty enough I’ll rinse you off in the shower.”

I laughed. “That’s incentive,” I said. He winked.

We headed downstairs to the workout room. The place smelled like Nick. Hot, sweaty, testosterone riddled Nick.

“So how about the bike?” Nick asked.

I walked over to the bike. It seemed perfectly harmless compared to the treadmill and the weight machine. I could do the bike. Right?

“C’mon,” Nick said. I swung my leg over the bike and scooted up on the seat. Nick moved things around so that I could reach the pedals.

“What level of resistance do you want?”

“Resistance?” I asked dumbly. Nick smiled patiently.

“You know, like when you ride a real bike up a hill? You can set this to resemble no hill, a little hill, or Mt. Everest.”

I felt my eyes widen. “No hill.”

Nick laughed. “I’ll set it real low.”

He pressed a couple buttons on the machine and then stepped back.

“Go for it.”

I started pedaling. After a few minutes I smiled. It wasn’t so bad. I was exercising. What was the big deal? This was easy.

“You good?” Nick asked. I nodded.

He drifted off towards the weights. I heard the telltale clink as he began to work out. The imagery of Nick’s muscles flexing under the weight actually caused me to pedal faster. I stared at the output. Maybe I had overreacted with the whole ‘no hill’ thing.

I leaned towards the display and found the resistance option. I set it up higher. I had to push a little harder but it still wasn’t bad. Feeling cocky, I cranked it up all the way.

Ten minutes later I thought I was going to die. I was gasping for breath; my feet seemed to forget how to move the pedals. A bead of sweat rolled down the bridge of my nose and onto the ground. I reached over and feebly turned down the resistance, but the damage was already done.

“You okay?” Nick said. I felt his hand on my shoulder. My sweaty shoulder. I nodded, but stopped pedaling and threw my arms over the bars.

“Want to try something else? How about the treadmill?”

I looked at him like he was crazy, but he just smiled and tugged me off the bike. My legs wobbled like jello. I actually prayed Brooklyn would start crying so I could escape.

No such luck.

I stumbled up on the treadmill. Nick once again demonstrated the control panel.

“I’m guessing you don’t want to feel like you’re running uphill?”

I shook my head.

“Alright, we’ll go easy on you.”

He started the machine off at a slow pace. With a kiss to my forehead he went over to the bike.

I kept up the pace on the treadmill pretty well for five minutes. Even so, I learned my lesson from the bike. I decided to lower the treadmill even more. Unfortunately for me, the treadmill’s controls didn’t work like the bike controls.

The treadmill took off like an out of control horse. With a little yelp I ran feebly for a few seconds and then felt myself begin to fall. I smacked face first into the mat. Red hot pain stung my face.

“Holy shit,” I heard Nick say. A few seconds later the machine stopped and he rolled me over onto my back.

“Are you okay?”

Through a haze of tears and sweat I stared up at him. My chest heaved; I felt nauseous. Nick looked concerned. I saw his eyes widen.

“Oh, your eye…”

“My eye? My eye?”

“I think you’re going to have a shiner,” Nick explained. “Let me go get you some ice.”

He took off at a run back up the stairs. I lay there trying to stare up at the ceiling. I had seen Howie fly off a treadmill once; back then it had been funny. It didn’t feel so funny now. I wondered if my eye had flown out of my head. I touched my left eye. It was fine. I touched my right. Pain shot through my face and I screamed.

“Don’t touch it,” Nick said, running back over to me. He knelt down and placed an icepack on my face.

“You must have smacked into the frame on your way down.”

I couldn’t help it. I began to cry. The tears made the ice pack stick to my skin. Nick’s arms went around me.

“It’s okay, shh, it’s okay,” he whispered.

I felt my nose begin to drip. Now I began to fear that I would walk down the aisle with a huge black and blue eye. Perfect.

“Let’s get you upstairs,” he said. He tried to hoist me up, but I just lay like a lump of lard forlornly on the treadmill. He hovered over me, hands on hips. With a sigh he scooped me up. I didn’t resist. I placed the unbruised side of my face on his shoulder and clung to the ice pack.

“Oh, Liv,” Nick said as he headed up to the main floor and then up to our bedroom. “I thought you getting your hair stuck in that tub had to have been the worst luck I had ever seen. But, trouble just follows you, doesn’t it?”

I choked out a sob. Nick held me closer. He walked into our room and then into the bathroom. Before I knew it I was sitting in a cool shower, still in my exercise clothes. Nick stripped down to just his tight jockeys and hovered over me.

As I looked at him, my tears subsided. I was sore, but distracted.

Trouble did follow me. But there were some kinds of trouble I could appreciate.

Nick was that type of trouble.

Chapter Thirteen – May 25

Nick had been right; two days after smacking into the treadmill my eye was bloodshot and the skin around it was black and blue. I had hibernated in bed yesterday while Nick took care of Brooklyn. He brought me a new ice pack every hour and told me an absurd joke each time.

I decided that this morning I was going to get up and just get on with small wedding details. I needed to work out seating arrangements. Nick was still sleeping. He sounded noisier than usual.

I walked into the nursery and couldn’t help but smile. Brooklyn was awake, studying her mobile with newfound curiosity. When I leaned over the railing, she turned her head to look at me and smiled.

“Hey pretty baby,” I said. I ran my fingernail gently down the underside of her foot; her toes curled in reflex. She began to babble.

“You hungry?”

Her lips pursed up and her whole body wiggled. I took that as a yes. I scooped her up and settled down in the rocker. As she ate I looked down at her profile. I think I might be slightly biased; but I couldn’t help but think I had the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen.

“We’re going to have to introduce you to formula,” I said. “That way grandmommy can feed you while daddy and I are on our honeymoon.”

She looked up at me with wide blue eyes. I felt myself go teary.

“Oh, how are we going to leave you for a whole week?” I whispered.

Brooklyn didn’t seem too concerned; I thought that might change once she actually realized her daddy was MIA.

After she grew bored with her feeding, I changed her and headed down to the kitchen. She was finally tolerating her infant sling, which freed up my hands to work in the kitchen or at the computer. I was nibbling on a rice cake, thinking that probably eating computer paper would be tastier, when Nick walked into the kitchen. I took one look at him and knew something was wrong.

His hair was disheveled like always, but he had dark circles under his eyes. Even that wasn’t unusual, but when he began to speak I knew right away that he was sick.

“Where’s Brooklyn?” he rasped.

His voice had gone four octaves deeper overnight. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. I pointed to my chest.

“In the sling. What happened?”

“I don’t know. It’s like I swallowed a golf ball.”

“Do you want some orange juice?” I asked. He nodded miserably.

I poured a tall glass of orange juice and handed it to him. He took a sip and winced as he swallowed. He pointed at Brooklyn.

“I better not be around her,” he said. “Germs.”

“Go to bed,” I said. “I’ll take care of you like you took care of me.”

I saw his gaze go to my eye; he winced. I shook my head.

“It’s okay. I’m thinking positive today. Go to bed.”

He sighed and nodded. I blew a kiss his way as he headed up the stairs.

Brooklyn began to get fussy about an hour after putting her in the sling. I dragged her baby swing downstairs and put it by the door, facing the ocean. I set her down and let it go. She wasn’t a big fan of her bouncer, but Nick had found that she was a big fan of her swing. She slapped at the little playthings across the bar and babbled to herself. I double checked that the door was bolted and headed up to check on Nick.

Nick was sprawled on the bed in his tight sports shorts. He was bare-chested but he had a scarf around his neck and a little humidifier plugged in on the nightstand. I handed him a warm mug of lemon tea.

“Thank you,” he said in baritone.

“No problem. Anything else I can get you?”

He shook his head. I smiled.

“I’m going to be downstairs working on seating arrangements. I’ll be back to check on you.”

Nick nodded. By the time I left he was on his cell phone, no doubt tweeting about his malady.

About an hour into arrangements, Brooklyn got bored with the swing. Bitsy was sniffing her feet and she was trying feebly to play “kick the squish nosed dog away,” but Bitsy kept darting away. She began to cry.

I scooped her out of the swing and held her up to my eyes. She sighed. I had successfully averted a dramatic meltdown.

Unfortunately, Nick chose that moment to sneak into the kitchen for a refill of orange juice. Brooklyn’s head turned just in time to see his back head towards the kitchen. Something in her mind must have triggered that she hadn’t seen her dad all day and now he was ignoring her. She let out a panicked cry. Nick turned in surprise.

“It’s okay Brookey,” he rasped. He waved at her; it just wouldn’t do. Her whole body wiggled against mine as she wailed.

“Oh crap,” Nick said.

“It’s okay. Grab your juice and head back up. I’ll distract her,” I said. Nick rocked on his heels and did an about face into the kitchen. I heard the refrigerator door open.

I tried a pacifier; she spit it out. I wound the swing back up; she wouldn’t go back in.

I had just lain down on the couch when I heard Nick head back upstairs. I placed Brooklyn on my chest.

You have no idea how disheartening it is to find that the one trick that had solved the problem before no longer worked. Before she had quieted down in moments; now she continued to cry and stare up at me as if it was my fault and she was far too smart to fall for the same old trick, especially if her daddy wasn’t holding her.

I knew at that moment that the second coming of crying had begun. The quiet had been nice while it lasted.

----------------------------------------

The next seventy-two hours were a living hell. Nick was sicker the next day and went to the doctor to make sure he didn’t have strep. Luckily he didn’t, but the doctor warned him that the antibiotics would take awhile to kick in. After twenty four hours of crying I had sent Nick to recuperate at my mom’s. Between orange juice, cinnamon rolls, and antibiotics, I prayed for a fast recovery.

Meanwhile I had gotten no sleep. I had talked to Nick the evening of the third day and he sounded much better. He assured me he’d be back home in the morning.

“She’s still crying?” he asked incredulously. I laughed like someone who needed a straight jacket.

“Have you eaten?” Nick asked worriedly. “Or slept?”

“I’m fine,” I assured him. “I went through three weeks of this. Three days is nothing.”

He sighed. “I love you.”

I smiled. “Did mom take care of you?”

“Of course. I think I gained five pounds.”

I laughed. “Okay, I love you.

“Love you, too.”

After I had hung up the phone I picked Brooke up out of her crib and went downstairs into the living room. I still feebly tried to lay her on my chest. I turned on the television to add some background vocals to Brooklyn’s solo.

I settled on watching a VH1 special on the Top 100 songs of the 90’s. It made me feel old because I remembered almost every single one. Seeing Britney Spears at number 7 singing “Hit Me Baby One More Time” made me think of high school. The pigtail look had made a roaring comeback.

After singing along to Whitney Houston (at which point I think Brooklyn’s cries got even LOUDER), I broke into a smile as number three flashed onto the screen. It was “I Want It That Way.”

By the time Nick sang 'we are two worlds apart', I had an absolutely quiet baby on my hands. I stared down in amazement. All of the concerts she must have heard in the womb must have rubbed off on her. As the commentators broke in, I saw her face crumble.

“Is that what you want?” I asked as she broke out into a loud cry. “You want to hear dad?”

I held onto her and slid off the couch. I stood for a moment thinking; it wasn’t as if Nick had copies of Backstreet Boys videos in his DVD collection. But I did.

I set Brooke in her swing and headed down into the basement. All of the stuff I had kept at mom’s house in Wisconsin was now sitting in boxes in the basement. One was labeled “Liv’s Music Stuff.” I ripped open the box and began to dig through it. Halfway down I found what I was looking for: Backstreet Boys Greatest Video Hits.

“Alright!” I called out over her screams. “Let’s have a video party little one.”

I fiddled with the remote and inserted the DVD. I didn’t waste time sorting through the menu; I hit all and repeat and scooped Brooklyn up again.

It was magic. She went to sleep halfway through I’ll Never Break Your Heart.

I wasn’t far behind. It might sound bad to fall asleep while your fiancée’s on TV, but I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity.

Plus, the real thing was so much better.

-------------------------------------

Nick was home bright and early the next morning. The DVD was still happily looping along. He shook me gently; I woke up to The Call.

“Wha?” I asked groggily. I looked up to see him smiling.

“Miss me that much?” he asked. His voice was still scratchy, but definitely much better than it had been. He pointed to the TV. I pointed to Brooke.

“It was the magic ingredient,” I explained. “She stopped crying.”

“Really? Huh,” Nick said thoughtfully. He sat down on the floor by the couch and watched the video.

“Damn, Howie’s hair was really long.”

I laughed. “Yes, it was.”

“I never understood how one minute I was driving the car and then Kevin popped up. It just never made any sense.”

“Yeah, I wondered that myself,” I admitted.

“By the way…where did you get this DVD?”

“Er, it’s part of my collection.”

“Your collection?”

I found myself blushing. Even so, I lifted my chin with a fake amount of pride.

“For your information, I had a music collection when I was a teen. My mom gave me the box when she moved into the condo.”

Nick grinned. “What else is in the box?”

“That’s not important.”

“I could go look.”

I sighed. “I have some concert tickets, some t-shirts, a glow stick that no longer glows, stuff like that.”

“All Backstreet Boys?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, not all Backstreet Boys.”

Nick grinned. “I bet you were a double dipper. I met you liked N’Sync.”

I knew he was teasing, but still my blush deepened. “Did not.”

“Did you go to a concert?”

I scoffed, but nodded. “But, it was only because my friends dragged me along,” I added in defense.

“If I go downstairs am I going to see any NSync stuff?”

I sighed. “Nick…”

“What?”

“Okay. I have the NSync Beanie Babies.”

He started to laugh.

“BUT that’s because I couldn’t even sell them. No one wants them. I’m stuck with them.”

“No Justin Timberlake dildo?”

I let out a little gasp. “Nick!”

“What?”

“You’re horrible.”

He snorted. Brooklyn’s eyes fluttered open. When she saw Nick she broke into one of her precious early morning smiles. He reached out and ran his finger under her chin.

“Hey princess. You’ve been quite the crybaby haven’t you?”

You wouldn’t know it by looking at her. She cooed happily, a big wad of drool landed on Nick’s finger. He scooped her off my chest.

“You sure you’re not contagious?” I asked.

“Seventy two hours. I’ve got the all clear. I just wish my voice didn’t sound so froggy,” he added. “The new website girl is coming here to do an interview with me today.”

Nick walked out of the living room and up the stairs towards the nursery. It took me a second to realize what he said; I jumped off the couch and followed him.

“You have a new web girl?” I asked, taking the steps two at a time.

“Yeah. Howie hired her.”

“What’s her name?”

“Kandy. With a ‘K.”

“How old is she?”

Nick put Brooklyn down on the changing table. He had gotten the tabs undone when he looked over at me. His eyes danced playfully.

“Why?”

“Just curious.”

“I think she’s twenty two or twenty three.”

“Oh. Do you know what she looks like?”

Nick laughed. “No. Why?”

“Just curious. Why?”

Nick smiled. “Just checking. I thought I detected a note of jealousy in your voice.”

“Jealous? Me? No way,” I said, shaking my head no.

Inside I was thinking ‘Jealous? Me?’ and I was shaking my head yes.

“You have nothing to worry about,” Nick said breezily.

“I’m not worried either,” I said.

But inside, maybe I was.

A little.

--------------------------------

Just a note: I won't have another Voodoo update until Sunday. I am taking a pilgrimage of a lifetime and will be basking in Backstreet Boys glory for three amazing days with a VIP pass and amazing concert tickets. I'll be back with a vengenance after getting a real-life taste of those four gorgeous guys!

Chapter Fourteen

When the doorbell rang a couple hours later, I was upstairs changing Brooklyn. Three days of endless crying and missing her daddy had left her with the worst case of diarrhea I had ever seen. I had always rolled my eyes at those people who pinched their nose during a diaper change, but I was eyeing the clothes pins and seriously considering it.

From downstairs I heard the sound of Nick's voice and a very high female's voice answering back. The voice was laced with excitement. It wasn't everyday a person got to interview Nick at his home. I worked a little faster on the diaper. I couldn't help it; I wanted to see what this "Kandy" looked like.

Brooklyn wasn't cooperating. Her little legs kicked at me as I tried to wipe and powder. By the time I got a new diaper under her, she was crying and we were BOTH frustrated. Finally I wrapped her in the kimono that Nick had bought from Japan and smiled. It finally fit her and she looked adorable.

"Ready to go with mommy?" I asked. Her bottom lip quivered, but stopped when I managed to get a pacifier in her mouth. Holding her close and kissing her pudgy cheek, I walked downstairs.

The foyer, living room, and kitchen were absolutely empty. I made my way to Nick's recording studio, figuring that would be the most logical place to do an interview.

I was right.

Nick was sitting on his drum seat in the studio along the wall where his guitars were displayed. He was swiveling back and forth, his legs casually apart, his hands gripping the stool.

Directly across from him was a petite strawberry blonde with the biggest brown eyes and biggest boobs I had ever seen. She could have been descended from Dolly Parton. I didn't know if her eyes were just naturally big but I knew even from a distance that the boobs were most certainly fake. She had set a camera up on a tripod, but the recording light wasn't on. She seemed to be fiddling with it nervously.

As I was sizing Kandy up, out of the corner of my eye I saw Nick wave. I turned to look at him; he smirked and made a 'c'mere' motion. I opened the soundproof door and stepped into the studio.

"Kandy, I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Olivia and my daughter Brooklyn. Livvy, this is Kandy."

Kandy looked up. I smiled and held out my hand; my natural politeness couldn't be stopped. "Pleased to meet you."

She didn't reach for my hand; in fact, her saucer eyes grew even wider.

"Oh my gawd, what happened to your face?"

That was JUST the reaction I was expecting...not. I looked over at Nick in confusion; he was smiling.

"She over judged the power of our treadmill a couple days ago. It's a really bad bruise."

I touched my face. I had almost forgotten about the bruise; the pain had diminished except for when I pressed the swollen skin.

"Oh, yeah," I said. "I accidentally sped the machine up to max," I explained. "I'm a little bit of a klutz."

"That's an understatement," Nick said with a laugh. He got up from the stool and kissed me. I felt his arms slide around Brooklyn and I passed her to him. As he sat back down, Kandy was still staring at me as if I was from an alien. I couldn't help but think she probably hadn't spent much time on a treadmill; there was no way she could run without knocking herself out, if you know what I mean. No sports bra was going to tame her.

"Ouch," was her only reply. Her eyes went back to Nick, but settled on Brooklyn. She seemed surprised.

"This is our daughter, Brooke," Nick said. Right on cue, Brooklyn let out a nice string of drool.

"I didn't know you had a baby," Kandy said.

"She was born in March," Nick said proudly. I smiled; his pride made me love him all the more.

"How'd you learn about this opportunity?" I asked Kandy. She looked at me blankly.

"What opportunity?"

"The webmaster job for the Boys," I explained.

"Ohhhhhh," she said, making the word sound way longer than it should. "I put up one of those job bid things and Mr. Dorough contacted me."

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you know a lot about the Backstreet Boys?"

She shook her head up and down. I did a quick calculation; she would have been about three when they first got together and a whopping nine years old during Millennium.

I felt old.

"I went to Nick's solo tour this year with my older sister. And we went in 2003 too," she said proudly. I saw her look back at Nick and flash a 1,000 watt veneer smile his way. I ran my tongue self-consciously over my own teeth. Nick chose that minute to look at me; I could just tell by the look on his face that he could almost read my thoughts. He looked like he was about ready to burst out laughing.

"So shall we get on with the interview?" he said kindly. Kandy did another enthusiastic head nod.

"Mind if I hold Brooklyn?" he asked. She emphatically shook her head no. It was almost like watching a mime performance.

"I'll just sit over here," I said pointing to the corner. I hunkered down in the corner, feeling like a chaperone observing a first date.

When I was married to Hunter I was never the jealous type. Of course, that hadn't gotten me very far. I didn't particularly like feeling cautious, but Nick was also ten billion times more desirable than Hunter.

"I'll apologize a head of time," Nick was saying as I sat stewing over my thoughts. "I've been sick the past few days. My throat’s a little croaky."

"Oh no," Kandy said. "You sound fine."

I thought she put too much emphasis on fine, but I crossed my legs and feigned interest in Nick's framed award for Millennium.

"Soooooooo," Kandy said, drawing out yet another short and simple word. "Are you excited about the new album?"

"Absolutely," Nick said enthusiastically. "I can't wait to have Kevin back in the studio with us. We want to make a great album that we can promote well into our 20th anniversary."

"Soooooooo, when do you get back in the studio?"

"In September. We want to take about a year and really get this album polished and then we'll embark on a two year anniversary tour."

"What are you looking forward to for the tour?"

"Well, the music, dancing, fans, everything," Nick said. "But it will be even better because this will be Brooklyn's first tour."

I smiled. Nick bounced Brooklyn on his knee; she broke into a happy smile.

Kandy continued to ask really generic questions; Nick answered them politely, but I could tell he was getting bored. I was trying to be good, I really was, but finally I couldn't help it.

"So, how many stops to different Targets do you think we'll have to make on tour so AJ can replenish his underwear?" I asked.

Nick burst out laughing. Kandy looked confused.

"Sorry," Nick said, his face still crinkled into a huge smile. "Last tour, AJ had laundry issues. It was easier for him to toss the old than wash them. Rochelle did all his laundry except the underwear."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Kandy said. I waited for some other comment, but that's all we got.

"So what is your favorite Backstreet Boys song?"

I stifled a groan; that was a question they got at Q&A events all the time. That wasn't something fan club members wanted to sit through again.

Obviously it was a question Brooklyn didn't want to sit through either. Before Nick had a chance to respond, I saw Brooke's face squinch up and I knew exactly what she was doing. Before I had a chance to get up from my chair Nick looked down. Diarrhea was everywhere.

"OH MY GAWD!" Kandy yelled as if someone had just opened fire in the room. Nick stood up calmly as if it was an everyday occurrence to be pooped on.

"I'm sorry," he said. "She's has a case of the squirts. I'll be right back."

As he left the room I noticed the camera was still rolling. As embarrassing as it was, I had a feeling that the fans would love to hear Nick say the word 'squirts.'

Kandy reached over and stopped the camera; her nose wrinkled in disgust. I grabbed some paper towels and began to tackle the seat Nick was sitting in.

"Do any of the other guys have babies?" Kandy asked me. It sounded like she was trying to talk and hold her breath at the same time. My back was turned to her; I grinned.

"Well," I said thoughtfully. "Actually, Brian and Leighanne are going to have a little girl in a few weeks. You've already met Howie's son, James, I'm sure. Oh, and Kevin has a little four year old boy. I don't know if he's potty trained," I said thoughtfully. I knew Mason was potty trained, but the little devil on my shoulder just couldn't help herself.

"Does this stuff happen all the time?" Kandy asked nervously.

The little devil kept poking me with her pitchfork. "Well, last tour James puked all over Brian right before they were supposed to go on Ellen," I said. I began to laugh. "Man, you should have seen the look on his face. That was the last time he played airplane with him for awhile."

"Do any of them not have kids?" she asked.

The little devil told me to go in for the kill. "Well AJ and Rochelle don't right now," I said thoughtfully. "But with any luck by the next tour, they will. We'll have a whole gaggle of kids along. Tours are really becoming a family affair.”

I turned around to see Kandy zipping the bag for her video camera. I held the soiled paper towels in my hand.

"Want anything to drink while you're waiting?" I asked sweetly. She stared at the towels.

"No, I, uhhhhhhhhhhh... actually I better be going," she said.

"Oh, is the interview done?"

She nodded her head up and down. "Yeah, I think so. Tell Nick I'll see him around."

I walked her to the foyer, still holding the towels. She opened the door and turned to look at me. Her nose was still wrinkled.

"It was nice to meet you," she said unconvincingly. I smiled wide.

"And so nice to meet you, Kandy," I said.

She closed the door quickly behind her.

I couldn't help it; I laughed a laugh that would make Dr. Evil proud.

----------------------------------------------

A half hour later the kimono was in the washing machine and I had just made sure that Brooklyn wasn't getting dehydrated when Nick's cell phone rang. He looked at the display and pressed talk.

"Hey Howie, what's up?"

I had a feeling I knew what was up. I saw Nick's eyes widened.

"What do you mean what did I do?" He listened for another few seconds.

"What do you mean she quit?" He listened again.

"Well, I didn't do anything. She freaked out about Liv's eye and then she flipped her lid when Brooklyn pooped on me."

Even at a distance I could hear Howie start to laugh. A few more garbled words were said.

"I'm not making this up, dawg," Nick said. After a few more seconds of laughter the line got quiet again.

"Well, if I can be honest, I thought she kinda sucked at interview questions. She told Liv that you hired her off a job bidding site or something. C'mon, man. It's not like we're with Jive anymore. We can afford someone good. We need a Liv."

My eyes narrowed. I coughed. Nick caught my expression and tilted his head.

"I mean, I've already got a Liv. But we need someone good with interviews and junk."

I coughed again. Nick covered the phone.

"You okay?"

"Can I talk to Howie?" I asked sweetly.

"Is it going to get me in trouble?" Nick asked. I couldn't help but smile.

"No."

"Hey How? Liv wants to talk to you."

Nick passed me his phone. I leaned forward on the couch.

"Hey Howie."

"Hey, Liv. What's up?"

"I think I have the answer to your problems," I said.

"Liv, I'd love to have you stay on as videographer, but you're going to be busy with Brooke and..."

"I didn't say me," I said. "But, I have just the candidate. Once you meet him, you'll love him."

"Him?" Howie said.

"Him?" Nick said simultaneously.

I laughed. "Yes, him. Sam's into videography and photography and he loves pop music. He actually finished a stint with Adam Lambert not long ago. If given the chance he would marry Lance Bass and while he loves your music none of you are his type."

Howie laughed. "You’ve got me curious now."

"If he's interested, when can you meet with him?" I asked.

"Just give me a call, Liv. But I’m not making any promises."

I smiled. “That’s good enough for me."

We talked for a few more seconds and then I disconnected. Nick was looking at me in surprise.

"Where did this guy come from?" Nick asked. "And why haven't I met him?"

I laughed. "Well, like I said, he was touring with Adam Lambert during your last tour. I hadn’t talked to Sam for years but we reconnected on Facebook. He actually just moved to New York. And as for where he came from, I grew up with him in Wisconsin. He was my date for prom."

"You went to prom with a gay guy?" Nick asked. I grinned.

"Let's just say I had the best dance partner in my whole senior class,” I said. “And we color coordinated perfectly.”

Nick laughed. “You know, you never fail to surprise me.”

I smiled. “I like to keep you on your toes.”

Nick’s eyes darkened sensuously. “Oh honey, you do that.”

“And more.”

--------------------

Author's note: Soooo...I'm back! I still can't believe what an amazing day I had yesterday. I'm in tears thinking that it's OVER! As promised, I have pictures; I didn't go through and weed out the bad ones yet, but hopefully you guys will get an idea of what I experienced yesterday between soundcheck and the concert (I got to request Siberia!). Click here to view my pictures.

Chapter Fifteen – June 1

A few days later I was eagerly waiting for Angel to get to the house. Her modeling shoot was finally over, her dress was in, and I was ready to get her alterations going. I also wanted some dieting advice from an expert. My body was rebelling against me; even after working out on the Wii Fit for a couple days and eating nothing but salad, I had only lost a pound.

“Do you want me to call her?” Nick asked from the living room. He was pushing Brooklyn’s swing with his foot while glued to his laptop. I could hear the telltale sounds of World of Warcraft.

“No, it’s okay. I’m sure she’ll be here any minute,” I said.

I sank down on the couch beside him and picked up my laptop. We reminded me of an old, albeit technologically advanced, married couple.

“You should sign up for World of Warcraft,” Nick said as Windows booted. “I could use you in my army.”

I laughed. “I know how many girls are in your army; I’m sure I wouldn’t make a difference. I’d probably get myself killed.”

“I’d protect you.”

I logged into my e-mail and shook my head. “Maybe when Brooke’s a little older she can be your minion.”

“Somehow I think I’ve become her minion,” Nick said thoughtfully. I smiled. One e-mail in particular caught my eye. I tapped my screen.

“Sam e-mailed me,” I said happily. Nick leaned over my shoulder; his breath warmed over my skin.

“Oh, your boyfriend?” he teased.

“Shut up,” I said. “He says he can come down for an interview a couple days before the wedding. You think Howie will wait that long?”

Nick’s arm snaked around me.

“I don’t know, but maybe if you play your cards right I can pull a few strings with the boss man.”

The hairs on the back of my neck rose in delight at the implication in his voice. Before I had a chance to respond, the doorbell rang.

“That must be Angel,” I said. I set my laptop on the coffee table and stood up. Nick took my hand and stopped me from running off too quickly.

“Hey, keep my offer in mind,” he said. I leaned down and kissed him softly. He let go of my hand to reach for my waist, but I ducked out of his grasp.

“Your sister,” I reminded him, pointing towards the door. He leaned back in the couch cushions, giving Brooke’s swing another push.

The doorbell rang a second time before I reached the foyer. After a quick glance through the peephole, I threw the door open wide. There stood Angel, looking beautiful as always.

“Liv!” she said happily, throwing her arms around me. I hugged her tightly.

“Hey, Angel,” I said. “How was Canada?”

“It sucked,” she said seriously. I looked at her in surprise. Finally the corners of her mouth lifted.

“It’s not fun being a model when you’re in a country known for amazingly delicious bacon.”

I laughed. “Funny you should mention that,” I said. I lowered my voice. “I was wondering if you had any fantastic model dieting tips for someone looking to lose ten pounds in a month.”

She looked thoughtful. “Well, there’s the grapefruit diet. That’s always worked for me. Of course, I love anything citrus-y.”

“How does it work?”

“You drink an eight ounce glass of juice before every meal. You’re limited to eight hundred calories per day in meals. No bread. No dessert. Basically lots of veggies and grapefruit juice.”

While it didn’t sound like my dream diet (that would include peanut butter cups and chips), I figured it couldn’t hurt.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said out loud.

“Is this about a certain dress you’ll be wearing soon?” she asked knowingly. I nodded. Together we walked into the living room.

“I heard the words grapefruit and vegetables,” Nick said. He had returned to his laptop; he didn’t even turn as we walked into the room. “That’s a stupid diet. All Liv’s been eating is lettuce anyhow. I’ll be glad when this craziness is over.”

I wrinkled my nose. “This craziness is our wedding. It's a big day.”

“If I had it my way we would have just gone to the court house,” Nick said. I knew he didn’t mean it, but we had already had a long "talk" (I wouldn't call it an argument, but it was close) during dinner the night before about my penchant for a certain green leafy food. He had told me nicely I was becoming a grouch. I knew he was right, but it was all for a good purpose. Right?

Angel walked around the couch and knelt down in front of the swing. Her face lit up in a huge smile.

“There’s my Brookey-wookey. You got so big while your Auntie Angel was gone! Did you miss me? Aww look at those ittle bittle toes. I got your toe!”

Nick looked up. He laughed.

“How was Auntie Angel’s ittle bittle trip?”

She looked up at Nick. “It was fine,” she said. She rolled up on one hip and slid her phone out of her pocket. I saw her look at it as if trying to make up her mind. Finally, she held the phone out to Nick.

“Take a look at a couple pictures I took,” she said slowly. “Tell me what you see.”

I leaned over Nick’s shoulder and together we looked at Angel’s pictures. Both pictures were almost identical; they were taken at the same place at around the same time. It was a crowded shot with models milling to and fro. Finally Nick zoomed in and began to span the picture.

Nick and I saw the same thing at the same time; both of us let out an audible gasp.

“Am I crazy?” Angel asked calmly.

“When was this taken?” Nick asked quietly.

“Three days ago.”

I leaned even closer to Nick to see the screen better.

One of the few guys in the picture looked exactly like Aaron.

“Angel,” Nick said slowly. “Did you notice him while you were taking these?”

She shook her head. “No, only afterward did I realize…” she trailed off, looking uncomfortable. “The same day I took these pictures one of our models went missing,” she admitted.

“What?” I said in surprise. Nick continued to hold the phone, his eyes glued on his younger sister.

“Did you go to the police?” he asked. Angel did something surprising; she laughed.

“Nick, how could I do that? They’d think I was crazy.”

“The girl that went missing…” I said, thinking out loud. “Did you know her?”

Angel nodded. “I knew her, but we weren’t really buddies. She’s one of those models whose diet plan includes a smorgasbord of illegal drugs.”

Nick looked back at the phone. He zoomed in as far as possible.

“Angel, this has to be Aaron,” Nick said. “If you look close enough you can see…”

“A scar? I know.”

Now they had me curious. I was practically crawling over the back of the couch as I peered at the screen. Nick held it up for me to get a better view.

In full zoom, the picture was horribly grainy. It was like looking at one of those optical illusions. I squinted and studied the blonde man’s head. Whether by power of suggestion or in actual reality, I did see a scar. It looked like the type of scar that someone might get if they hit their head against, oh I don’t know, a rock.

“What do you think I should do?” Angel asked. She cracked her knuckles loudly.

Nick bit his lip; it wasn’t something that he didn’t do often, but I had come to learn it was a nervous habit when he was thinking hard.

“Well, maybe it isn’t Aaron,” Nick finally said. “You’re right; if we go to the police they’re going to think we’re nuts. Or worse yet, if they do believe us, they might think we’re involved in that girl’s disappearance.”

I looked at him in surprise. Just seconds ago he said without a doubt that it had to be Aaron. It didn’t make any sense…

Yet, on the other hand it did. If it wasn’t Aaron, then there was no harm, no foul. If it was Aaron, then Nick was still protecting his little brother. Unfortunately that little brother had been involved in human trafficking before his untimely demise; if it really was a demise.

That thought made me think of something else. My very audible gasp had both Nick and Angel turning to look at me.

“What’s wrong?” Nick asked. I looked down, wondering if I should fuel the fire even more. But, it was so uncanny…

“The two dark forces the fortune teller warned about,” I said. “I know one’s Hunter, but the other…”

Nick shook his head. “Listen, I should never have taken you to see that fortune teller. It’s just all in good fun.”

It was my turn to shake my head. “Nick, normally I would agree. But don’t you think it’s strange that we’re looking at a picture of your dead brother a month before our wedding? He’s the other dark force!”

Nick sighed. “In all honesty, I wouldn’t call Hunter a dark force. We have a restraining order on him and the lawyer confirmed he’s back in Wisconsin. There’s nothing he’s going to do to ruin anything.”

“Well, it’s like they’re taking turns,” I said out loud. “Now that Hunter’s backed off, Aaron’s back in the picture.” I stopped, my eyes widening. “But what if they both decide to act at the same time? Maybe that’s why the fortune teller told us to beware of August!”

By this time Angel was looking at me like I had drunk a barrel of liquor and I had gone off the deep end. Nick was staring at me patiently; ever since Brooklyn was born he had acquired a level of patience that sometimes bothered me. I secretly have to admit I like Nick when he gets riled. Instead, Nick just passed the phone back to Angel, scooped Brooklyn out of the swing and stood looking between me and his sister.

“I’m going to go up and change stinker here,” he said. “Don’t you two have some dress appointment or something?”

Angel glanced at her watch. “He’s right, we better go.”

Even without looking at my watch, I knew they were right. I also knew Nick was trying to get me off the subject. I stood up and kissed the top of Brooklyn’s forehead. Nick kissed me softly.

“I’m still not going to let this go,” I said sweetly. Nick rolled his eyes to the ceiling, but I could tell he wasn’t agitated.

“I know you too well to expect you to,” he said. “But go out and have fun doing whatever you girls need to do. I’ll see you when you get home.”

We exchanged more kisses and ‘I love you’s’ while Angel rolled her eyes and did a horrible imitation of Nick. By the time we walked out, she seemed to have completely let the photos go. It was as if Nick confirming Angel’s suspicions had made her feel better; it would have made me feel worse.

When we got into the car, I turned to look at Angel.

“Promise me one thing,” I said seriously. She looked over in surprise.

“What?”

I took a deep breath. “If you even think you see Aaron again, call the police. Please? I just have a bad feeling about all this…fortune teller or not, the idea that Aaron could be alive and abducting women freaks me out.”

Angel closed her eyes.

“I know. It’s just…he’s my brother. If I saw him again, I’d try to talk to him.”

“Angel, the last time Nick tried that approach he got knocked out cold.”

“Liv, he’s my brother. My twin brother. He’d never hurt me.”

I didn’t agree; but I didn’t have the heart to argue. With a nod I buckled my seatbelt and started the car. It was time to change gears.

“Let’s see your dress, huh?”

Angel smiled.

“I can’t wait.”

Chapter Sixteen

“You make me sick.”

I was sitting on the floor of the bridal boutique watching Angel turn around in a slow circle. The color of the dress looked amazing with her dark hair and flawless skin. She looked at me and laughed.

“I’d be hurt except I know you don’t mean it.”

I shook my head. “I don’t. But damn, you look amazing.”

At that moment the seamstress came up with her little cushion full of pins and a measuring tape. She smiled.

“Are we just working on the hem?”

Angel tugged at the strapless gown and studied it with a careful eye.

“I think I’d like just a little tuck on the sides too. I don’t want any mishaps when I’m dancing.”

I laughed as Angel pushed the dress down to emphasize her point and then yanked it back up.

“So, when can I see your dress?” Angel asked as the seamstress knelt down and began to work on her hem.

“We can stop by my mom’s after we’re done here if you want,” I said leaning back on my elbows. “I’ve decided to try it on once a week anyhow.”

“Where’d you get it?”

“I was helping Leighanne get her dress and saw it. It’s amazing. One of a kind. Just like your brother.”

Angel rolled her eyes. “He’s one of a kind alright.”

I smiled. “Hey, you underestimate him.”

She smiled at me. “I never thought I’d see the day he’d find someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. You’ve changed him.”

I shook my head. “I didn’t change him.”

“Oh, yes you have. He’s grown up. But, don’t tell him that. You’ll break his heart.”

I laughed. “The secret is safe with me. Plus, I don’t know how grown up he is. I caught him having a conversation with Brooklyn’s bath toys this morning.”

Angel laughed. “Thank God you had a girl.”

I grinned. “I wouldn’t mind adding a little boy to the mix.”

“Oh really?”

“Not anytime soon,” I said, noting the interest in her eyes. “But it would be nice. Someday.”

“There’s always the honeymoon,” Angel teased.

I threw a rolled up pair of pantyhose at her, she ducked just in time much to the chagrin of the seamstress. I stuck my tongue out; she returned the gesture.

Not only was I gaining a husband, but I was gaining a great sister.

----------------------------------------

“You did a great job. I would have bought this dress and I’m not even getting married.”

“So you approve?”

“Absolutely.”

Angel was admiring my dress as it hung in the bag. I was bound up in my Spanx and ready for another dress run. My mom and Angel took the gown off the hanger and I was suddenly engulfed in a wall of white.

It might have been my imagination, but it seemed like I didn’t have to tug it so hard to get it over my hips. I smoothed the silk out over my stomach and turned around in a circle.

“Oh Liv,” Angel said softly. “You look so pretty.”

She teared up; my mom wasn’t far behind. I held up my heads.

“No, no, no. Don’t cry,” I said. “Don’t cry. I’m a serial crier. If one person starts I’m a goner.”

My mom left the room and returned with some wadded up toilet paper. Angel and her quickly dabbed their eyes and looked at me again.

“I think you’ve lost weight, honey,” my mom said. “The dress lays a lot nicer.”

I smiled. “You think so?”

“I know so. Want a cinnamon roll?”

I stared at my mom like she was crazy. She held up her hands.

“You can’t blame me for trying.”

After Angel inspected every square inch and once again gave me her approval, they helped me out of the dress. I changed back into my clothes and helped to put my dress back into the bag.

“Where are you guys going on honeymoon?” Angel asked.

“I don’t know. Nick’s planning that,” I said.

“Where would you like to go?” Angel said.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve only been through the U.S. and Canada.” I tilted my head thoughtfully. “I have always wanted to go to Australia.”

“Me too,” Angel said. “I’ve been to Europe, Asia, and South America, but never to Australia.”

“But, I really don’t care where we go,” I said.

“You won’t be doing much sightseeing anyhow,” my mom added. I blushed badly.

“Of course we will,” I stammered. Mom grinned.

“I’m old, but I’m not dead honey. Stop blushing. I know my granddaughter wasn’t delivered by a stork.”

Angel laughed. “Not unless the stork was 6’1” and blonde.”

Mom grinned.

“Okay, enough,” I said, even though I couldn’t suppress a smile. I checked my watch. “We better get back to the house.”

Angel gave my mom a hug and I did the same. As I turned, my mom wrapped her hand around my arm.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked. I looked at Angel. She pointed out the door.

“I’ll wait in the car,” she said. She closed the door behind her.

“What’s up mom?” I asked. She suddenly looked nervous.

“I want your opinion on some new clothes I bought,” she said. I followed her into her bedroom. She opened her closet and took out a cute sundress and jacket.

“That’s really cute!” I said, nodding my approval. “What’s it for?”

She seemed to pale slightly.

“I…have a date.”

Those were words I hadn’t expected to hear. I tried not to look too surprised. Instead, I just took a sharp little breath.

“Where’d you meet him?” I finally said. Her face relaxed; obviously the hard part for her was just admitting she had a date.

“The grocery store down the block. He works in the meat department.”

“What’s his name?”

“Michael.”

“How old is he?”

“Twenty.”

I must have looked horrified; she laughed.

“He’s my age. I’m not a cougar.”

I didn’t even think my mom knew was a cougar was; it was chalking up to be a day of surprises. I smiled.

“When’s your date?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Well,” I said. “You’re going to look fantastic.”

She hugged me tightly. “I was hoping you wouldn’t be mad.”

I returned the hug and pulled back surprised. “Why would I be mad? When I asked you to move down here I told you that you needed to get out and live.”

“I’m nervous,” she admitted in a small voice.

It was a weird role reversal; I assured her that her date was going to be fine.

“So are you inviting this Michael to my wedding?” I asked with a smile. She laughed.

“Let’s see how this date goes first.”

I gave her my vote of confidence. After another hug and a kiss I headed out to the car. Angel was looking at her phone; she looked up as I opened the driver’s side door.

“Everything okay?” she asked. I nodded and put the car in reverse.

“Everything’s fine,” I said. Then realization hit me.

“Oh my god. My mom has a date.”

-------------------------------------------------

“I wonder if she’s going to make him cinnamon rolls,” Nick said as I told him about my mom’s date over dinner. Angel had gone home to finally unpack and unwind. Nick twirled a large quantity of noodles on his fork and took a big bite. I took a small sip of my grapefruit juice.

“Nick, this is a huge step for her. I never thought she’d agree to go out with someone.”

Nick smiled. “Hey, your mom’s a good looking lady. I think it’s cute.”

“You think my mom’s good looking?”

“Well, her daughter’s a knock-out so, yeah, I’d say so. But I think the knock-out needs to have more for dinner than grapefruit juice and lettuce.”

“Nick,” I said with a sigh. Today was the first sign that my hard “work” was paying off. It only made me want to keep going. Nick didn’t see it that way; he held out a forkful of noodles towards me. I stared into his eyes as I took the bite. My heart gave a leap at the intensity in his face. For the first time since Brooklyn was born I felt the desire to initiate intimate contact. Nick seemed to read my thoughts. He raised an eyebrow.

“You look like you want to take a bite out of me,” he said slowly.

“I think food deprivation is increasing my sex drive,” I said quietly. I pushed my plate out of the way and leaned over the table. The noodles Nick had just twirled onto his fork slid off. His eyes darted right towards me cleavage.

“Hunh, I’m suddenly not hungry anymore,” he said, setting the fork down on his plate. I got off my barstool and walked around the island towards him, never breaking eye contact. As I came towards him, he twirled around in his chair. With a mischievous smile I yanked off my shirt. Nick sprang from his seat like I had flipped a switch. The moment he was on his feet, I jumped at him. He caught me under my legs as my arms wrapped around his neck and my lips crushed into his. I wiggled up against him.

“Jesus Liv,” he whispered as I came up for air. “Was that grapefruit juice spiked?”

I decided his question didn’t need a response.

“Nick. Upstairs. Now.” I whispered instead. My hands clawed at his back, pulling up his shirt at the same time. My fingers pressed into his warm flesh. His shoulders rippled and his grip on my legs tightened. I pressed my heels into him. By the time Nick got to the first stair step, I had managed to get his shirt off. I let it fall on the banister. Halfway up one of his hands had managed to unclasp my bra. With a quick shake and shimmy, I let it drop. At the top of the stairs, Nick tripped on the last step and we came crashing down. The soft carpet cushioned my fall and my legs wrapped around him tighter.

I didn’t let him get up. Instead I pulled his face towards mine, relishing the feel of his full lips against mine. I pressed my chest into his; his hands fell from my legs, sliding between our two bodies. I felt the button on my jeans come undone.

We both worked fast. The rest of our clothes started a topsy turvy spiral down the stairs as we tossed everything carelessly away. We were in the hall barely feet from our bedroom door, but I had no desire to move. I had him right where I wanted him. My teeth drew in the sensitive skin on his wrist as his hand moved down my face. He froze, watching under clouded eyes as I licked.

“Damn,” he finally managed to say. He began to get up, but I yanked him back down.

“Where are you going?” I said breathlessly.

“I need to get—“ he began to say. My hands slid down over him.

“You’re not going anywhere,” I said. He moaned and reached for my hands. Before I knew it they were pinned over my head; my bare feet braced themselves on the beginning of the stair rails. Nick smirked down at me; I tugged my wrists out of his grasp and growled. I had never seen his eyes so smoky.

“Liv, you have no idea what you’re starting,” he said seriously. I reached down and stroked him.

“Give me an idea,” I said playfully. He locked his hands on my hips and I felt like electricity was coursing through my veins. The musky scent of intimacy hung heavily in the air; I could practically taste it on the tip of my tongue. From the way the muscles in his arms tightened to the way his breathing filled my eardrums to the feel of him hard and ready made everything else seem nonexistent.

Here I was, just a girl from small town Wisconsin, lying naked at the top of a staircase ready to have wild monkey sex with Nick Carter.

I had intense pride in knowing that he was off the market and mine, all mine.

And he had been right.

I was ready to devour him…

From head to toe.

Chapter Seventeen – June 3

It’s amazing what thoughts can go through a person’s mind in the middle of the night. When I was a teenager I didn’t stay out late often, but when I did I always received the lecture about being courteous to those in the house who were trying to sleep. I always used to laugh and roll my eyes; I used to think that sleep was extremely overrated. Moms and dads just weren’t cool enough to appreciate all the fun stuff teenagers did at two o’clock in the morning. As I sat feeding Brooke at three o’clock in the morning, I was hit with the sudden realization that mom’s words had officially come back to bite me in the butt. Mom always used to say I wouldn’t know what she was talking about until I became a mom; now I realized just how right she was.

I had given up with breast feeding a few days ago; Brooklyn had taken to the bottle quite well. In fact, I had seen more smiles in the past few days than I had ever thought possible. Through bleary eyes I smiled down at her. Brooklyn was growing rapidly; I hadn’t realized how fast the time would go. Her eyes which had been blue since the day she was born had only changed shades, now color. Now when I stared at her it was like looking into Nick’s eyes, albeit way more innocent.

Brooke ate until the bottle ran out. After burping her I sat for a few more minutes, just staring down at her. Her eyes focused on my face and I was rewarded by a smile.

“Well sweetheart, after a rocky start you are completely making up for it with those pretty smiles,” I said softly. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. Her arm reached up, her fingers opening and closing like a little baby wave.

Humming softly I stood up, gently placed her in the crib, and started her mobile. I leaned over the bars and watched as her eyes focused on the lighted mobile and her legs kick as the music began to play. By the time the mobile wound down, her eyes closed and I could tell sleep was welcoming her once again.

Feeling absolutely lighthearted I walked back to the bedroom. Our night light threw long shadows across the room. Nick was fast asleep, his arms curled around his pillow as if hugging it. The sheets had dipped low on his waist, the band of his boxer briefs was visible as well as his long upper body. I pulled the covers back and quietly slid in next to him.

I must have fallen asleep rather quickly; the next time that I opened my eyes, Nick was sitting cross legged in bed, hovering over Brooklyn. He had her little hands in his own playing peek-a-boo. Between her toothless grin and her loud pitched coos it was a great way to wake up.

“Peeeeeek-a----boo!” Nick said, leaning down again so fast that his nose practically touched hers. I rubbed my face and sat up. Nick turned to look at me.

“Good morning, mommy.”

I smiled. “Good morning, daddy.” I leaned over and kissed Brooke’s cheek. “Good morning, Brookey.”

I scooted closer to Nick; for the next half hour we took turns playing peek-a-boo.

I couldn’t think of a better way to ease into a day.

----------------------------------------------------

Around noon, Nick was locked in the studio in the midst of a teleconference with the other guys. I sat down with the first RSVP’s for the wedding, inputting yes’s and no’s into a database for the wedding planner. As I tore open the last envelope, the phone rang. It was my mom.

She had been at the forefront of my mind the whole night before. I knew she was on her date and I was dying to find out how it went. I hit ‘talk’ and brought the phone to my ear while I scanned the last RSVP card.

“How’d it go?” I asked.

“Well, hello to you too,” mom said with a laugh. I took laughter as a good sign.

“Sorry. Hello.”

“Hi, sweetie.”

“How’d the date go?”

She was quiet for a few seconds. I set down the RSVP card and stared ahead, my lips puckered. Finally I heard the lift of a happy voice.

“It went very well. He bought dinner and then took me to a movie.”

“Oooh, a movie?” I said. “Was it a chick flick?”

“It was a comedy.”

“Did he do the whole “I’m yawning, but I’m really trying to get my arm around your shoulder” move?”

“What? No, he didn’t. Who does that?”

“Guys with no social skills,” I said, thinking about one of the first dates I went on with Hunter. “So are you going out with him again? Did he kiss you good night?”

“Yes to your first question and no to your second.”

I wrinkled my nose. “No good night kiss? Not even a peck on the cheek?”

“He’s a gentleman.”

I couldn’t help but think back to what seemed like a long time ago but was in actuality just a little more than a year ago. We had gone to a nightclub in Atlanta and because of Nick’s penchant for tickling I had set off the fire alarm and sprinkler system. Afterwards, I remember leaning against the bus saying goodnight to him. I can recall the slow movement of his face as it dipped towards mine and the utter panic as I ducked out from under his arm. Nick had known I was a married woman but it was like we had our own force field. We hadn’t kissed that night; I’m sure most people would say that even trying to kiss me wasn’t a gentlemanly act. But it had been the start of something that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

“So you had fun?”

“I did,” she said. I smiled at the enthusiasm in her voice.

“Has he been married before?”

“He lost his wife to breast cancer nine years ago.”

“Oh,” I said quietly. Even though I couldn’t imagine how hard that would be, it didn’t escape me that mom and this guy had both lost their spouse. There was mutual ground there.

“Does he have any children?”

“No, they never did.”

“So when am I going to meet him?”

“Let me get through another date first!”

I laughed. “Well, I’m just glad to know you had fun and that he wasn’t a serial killer. That would have sucked.”

“Yes, it would have,” my mom agreed. “You would have lost your babysitter.”

I laughed. “I love you, mom.”

We talked for just a little while longer and then I had to hang up; I had another call coming through. Without bothering to check the caller ID I hit the talk button on my cell phone.

“Hello?”

At first there was nobody; then I heard a little sigh.

“Liv?”

I pulled the phone away from my ear and double checked the caller ID in case I was mistaken; I wasn’t.

“Jess?” I asked incredulously.

I heard a baby crying in the background. When she finally spoke it sounded like she was beginning to cry.

“Liv, I called to warn you,” she said.

“Warn me?” I said bitterly. “About what? Are you going to try to sleep with my fiancée now?”

She gave a tremendous sniffle.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice. “I can’t believe I…”

“I don’t want to go down that road,” I said impatiently. “Why are you calling me?”

She said the one word that I didn’t want to hear. “Hunter.”

I sighed. “What about him?”

“I think…” the connection seemed to break. “be careful…” I strained to hear over the increasing static. “Florida…baby.”

The line went dead. I hit redial, but I heard a message about the user being out of service range. I sat with the phone in my hands, a deep frown etched on my face.

Feeling on edge, especially after hearing the word ‘baby,’ I looked over at Brooklyn. She was fast asleep in her swing, her head pressed right against her chest. Little bubbles escaped from between her lips and her blonde hair curled gently on her forehead.

I was still watching Brooke like a hawk as Nick walked into the kitchen. He glanced at me, opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water, and then glanced back at me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I just got a phone call from Jess,” I said, still watching the swing rock back and forth.

“Jess? As in Jess who slept with your creep of an ex-husband? That Jess?”

I nodded. “Her connection was bad but she said to be careful and something about a baby.”

“What? That’s insane. She just called you out of the blue? Did you try calling her back?”

I nodded. “The connection was broken.”

“Well, we have a restraining order,” Nick reminded me. “Even if Hunter was to show back up in Florida, his ass would be in jail so fast he wouldn’t know what hit him. Just like when my fist hit his nose. Ker-splat! Boink! Jinkies!”

I finally turned to look at him. He was holding the water up against his shirt; a big wet spot was spreading.

“Jinkies?” I repeated. Nick grinned.

“I had a little old-school Batman mixed with Scooby Doo moment there,” he said sheepishly. “But do you see what I’m saying? I have a security company monitoring the cameras outside the house and if he breaks in we have four dogs that would tear his throat out.”

I glanced into the living room. Three of the dogs were lying by the door that lead out to the beach. They were fast asleep. Only Iggy was pacing the floor. If he was a person I could picture him as Vin Diesel. Lila, Bitsy, and Atari would be the Three Stooges. I glanced back at Nick; he smiled.

“Okay, make that one dog that would tear his throat out. The others would probably just sit there and lick themselves.”

I couldn’t help it; I laughed. I felt my shoulders relax. “You’re right. I’m being silly.”

Nick opened his bottle of water and tossed back his head as he gulped greedily. He smashed the thin plastic on his forehead when he was done and tossed the bottle into the recycle bin.

“We do silly up right in the Carter house,” he said. He made a big show of flexing his muscles as if crushing already recycled plastic was a tough feat. I smiled.

“How’d your conference call go Hulkster?”

“It went really good, except Kevin forgets that he’s low man on the totem pole right now.”

“Kevin can never be low man on the totem pole,” I said.

Nick pouted. “See, that’s what everyone else said too. But the way I look at it is that it’s what he gets for dropping out. I’m tired of being low man.”

“How are you low man?”

“Because I’m the youngest. Kevin told me for years that I would always be low man.”

I smiled. I had a feeling that going on tour with Kevin along was going to add a whole new dynamic.

“So any insider information you can share with your soon-to-be wife?” I asked.

Nick bounced on his heels; the energy he got even talking about music never ceased to surprise me.

“We’re going to do four small club dates in September. Kevin thought that might help get the creative juices flowing and help us decide how to work his vocals into songs from Unbreakable and This is Us.”

“Are wives invited on this little tour?” I asked. Nick grinned.

“Well, I couldn’t very well leave my wife or daughter at home could I?” he said. He made a face as if he had just tasted something sweet. “Hmm.”

“What?”

“I like the sound of that. My wife.”’

My stomach did a ridiculous flip-flop. Nick broke into an excited grin.

“See that’s another reason I’m not low man anymore.”

I raised an eyebrow. It hadn’t taken him long to get back onto that subject again.

“What’s another reason?” I asked. I couldn’t help it; no matter how inane the subject was, I couldn’t help but want to follow along.

“I’ll be married. Kevin’s single. So not only do I have more years in the group but now I have a wife.”

“That’s not really his fault,” I argued. “And don’t you dare try to justify your “low man” theory with that.”

Nick pouted. “Well it makes sense to you doesn’t it?”

For some reason it really mattered; maybe it was because he had spent most of his formative years being fathered by Kevin. Now that he was in his thirties, he seemed to want to prove himself. I smiled.

“Yes, it makes sense. But Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve never been low man in my book.”

His eyes softened.

“Well, when you put it that way I think that’s the ranking that matters the most.”

I grinned. I couldn’t help but think that life would be so much simpler if the right words could fix everything. Even as I thought it, I knew that was a thought that belonged in a fairy tale. Even though Nick felt completely confident that we were untouchable, I had a bad feeling that one of those so-called “dark forces” was going to hit us.

And soon.

Chapter Eighteen - June 5

“For some reason I think I should be worried.”

“Worried? Why should you be worried?”

“When you’re hanging out with Leighanne I’m not worried. But you hanging out with Rochelle is like me hanging out with AJ.”

“Actually, I think you get in more trouble when you hang out with Brian.”

“Yeah, but that’s a good kind of trouble.”

It was eight o’clock at night and Rochelle had called about an hour ago to let me know that she was in town and that I was officially being kidnapped for the evening.

“Nick’s on babysitting duty,” she declared. “Get dressed. I’m taking you clubbing.”

Now I’m not someone who loves clubs, but I couldn’t say no to quality time with one of my bridesmaids, especially after she told me she was bringing her dress by the house to show me.

I had let each of the bridesmaids pick out whatever style of dress complimented them the most as long as it came in mermaid. Rochelle was the only one that had me worried; her style was unusual to say the least.

“Where are you two going again?” Nick asked.

“She said something about a club.”

“I think you should put on a jacket.”

“Nick, it’s ninety degrees out tonight.”

I was wearing a backless silver halter top, a black skirt, and silver tipped black boots. I was already sweating and Nick and I were just standing in an air conditioned living room.

“You never wore something like that when I took you clubbing on tour,” Nick complained. “I like you looking sweet and innocent.”

I laughed, wrapping my arms around his waist. He was looking like a disheveled mister mom; his Bucs jersey had dribbled formula down the front and his jogging pants were hanging low on his waist.

“Nick, I lost my sweetness the morning you de-toweled me on your tour bus after the Masquerade shoot. And I lost my innocence when we played ‘Interview Liv’ on your bus and you de-pantied me.”

Nick grinned. “Hey, that was one of my finest moments. Too bad Brian had to ruin it. Well, almost ruin it. I still got quite the treatment.”

I kissed him softly; the doorbell rang. I pulled away to find his arms still locked tightly around me. His hands slid to my bare back.

“I’ve got to answer the door,” I said with a laugh.

“Not necessarily.”

“Nick!”

With a laugh he dropped his hands. I ran into the foyer and opened the door. Rochelle was standing there dressed in head to toe leather with a pink garment bag draped over her shoulder. She whistled.

“You’re looking good Liv,” she said.

“She’s looking too good to be leaving the house,” Nick said, coming around the corner. Rochelle snickered at him.

“Jealous?” she asked. “I might just have to take your girl back to my hotel for the night.”

I could see that image playing out in Nick’s mind; his stupid smile echoed his thoughts.

“Wipe the smile off your face, Nick,” I said with a laugh.

“Where can I try this on?” Rochelle asked, jiggling the bag. I pointed up the stairs.

“The guest rooms up there two doors down on the right.”

“I’ll be right back.”

She bounded up the stairs. Her hair was currently streaked with orange. I couldn’t help but think how nicely that was going to look with the turquoise-y mermaid dress.

I didn’t have to wait long to see the real deal. Rochelle stood at the stop of the stairs and struck a pose.

The dress she had picked was absolutely modest. It had thin shoulder straps and gathering around the waist. The gathers swooped to the side where a crystal crescent moon accent provided a little bit of pizzazz.

“Ro, that’s beautiful!” I said.

“You sound surprised,” she said with a laugh.

“Oh, no!” I said, shaking my head. “It’s just…”

“Modest? Yeah, AJ said so too. But this is your day. All eyes should be on you.”

I smiled; I had the best friends in the world.

“I know my eyes will be on you,” Nick whispered in my ear as Rochelle turned and headed back to the guest room. I nudged his side, but I couldn’t help but think that while his eyes were on me mine would definitely be on him. I had seen him in a tux before, but this was going to be different. He was going to be the groom.

Nick played with the thin strings around my neck holding my halter top up. My thoughts got hazy.

“Did I mention I like this top?” Nick whispered. My toes curled in my boots.

“Hey where’s this baby you’re always talking about?” Rochelle called out. Her voice was like a bucket of cold water to my senses.

“She’s sleeping,” I called out. I pulled away from Nick and headed up the stairs. I met Rochelle outside the door of the guestroom and led her into the nursery. I quietly clicked on the nightlight; Rochelle leaned over the crib railing.

“Oh, she’s gotten so big,” she whispered. “Pictures don’t do her justice.” Rochelle smiled at me. “Y’know, I hate to say it, but she looks a lot like Nick.”

I laughed quietly. “I know. You should see her eyes. They’ve turned the exact same shade of blue as his.”

Rochelle placed a black tipped thumb on Brooke’s cheek and stroked gently. I had never seen her face grow so gentle.

“It’s your turn next,” I said teasingly.

I noticed a change come over her; her head lowered slightly and when she looked at me I noticed tears in her eyes. I knew immediately I had said the wrong thing and I felt like a cad.

When I was married to Hunter I hated when people would ask when we were going to grow our family. I struggled with infertility for years. I couldn’t believe it when I found out I was pregnant. It had happened so easily with Nick. One look at Rochelle’s face reminded me of the frustration and disappointment.

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I hated when people used to ask me that.” She shook her head, but something in my face must have told her it was okay to open up. She took a deep breath.

“I’ve miscarried twice since October,” she said morosely.

“Oh, Ro,” I said quietly. I put my hand on her arm; a tear rolled down her cheek.

“I just feel horrible,” she explained, wiping her face with the back of her other hand. “AJ’s gotten so excited both times and I’ve broken his heart twice now. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I even quit smoking.”

“Have you seen a doctor?”

She nodded. “Yeah, but I’m having a hell of a time getting AJ to go. In fact, that’s kind of why I’m here.”

I looked at her in surprise. “What?”

“I called him a selfish son of a bitch because he wouldn’t go get some tests done. I scheduled a plane ticket and flew out here.”

“So now I’m an accessory to the crime?” I said. That caused her to smile.

“You got it. And it’s also why I’m going clubbing. AJ thinks he’s perfect and I’m not going to be the only one to suffer. I’m long overdue for a drink and a night of fun.”

Somewhere there was logic in there that was a little twisted, but I didn’t think it was my place to say so. I could see the stress and emotion etched in her face.

“Well, what are we waiting for then?” I found myself saying. “Let’s get going.”

I leaned over the crib and kissed Brooklyn’s soft cheek. We bounded down the stairs; Nick was watching television in the living room. He looked up as we entered.

“We’re going to take off,” I said, grabbing my purse from the table. His hand wrapped around my wrist and sent me off kilter. I lurched forward; my face bumped right into his.

“Be careful, okay?” he said softly. I smiled and gave him a kiss.

“It’s my middle name,” I said lightly. He looked at me doubtfully.

“I’ll bring her home in one piece,” Rochelle said, waving off his concerns.

We headed out into the muggy night air. I began to walk to my car, but Rochelle tugged me back.

“I said I’d bring you home in one piece,” she reminded me. I saw a taxi round the corner.

“It’s not a limo, but it will serve our purpose.”

“An alcoholic purpose?” I guessed. Rochelle smiled.

“Damn straight.”

--------------------------------------------------

Three and a half hours later I was buzzed out of my mind, standing on stage with a microphone in one hand and a margarita in another. I was squinting at the screen desperately trying to figure out the words to Kenny Chesney’s Out Last Night.

Yeah we went out last night / One thing started leading to another / Out last night / Hitting on everybody in their mother / There were people doing body shots out on the bar..

I heard some catcalls from a group of college boys. Even though I couldn’t tell it, I was slurring badly, but having a blast doing so. By the end Rochelle scrambled up and we babbled through a duet. When we climbed off stage, the college boys were waiting for us with free shots. Rochelle grabbed both and downed them. I waved feebly, ignoring their advances.

“Let’s get out of this joint,” Rochelle declared. We teetered towards the door, still singing lines to random songs. We had just walked outside when my phone rang. I fumbled in my purse and held the phone up to my nose.

“Ignore it,” Rochelle declared, waving her hand in front of her face as if it was a mirage.

“It’s NICKY!” I said happily. I leaned against the building; the cars zooming past on the street made me dizzy, er dizzier. I pressed talk on the phone.

“Hellloooooo?” I called out into the night.

“Liv? Where are you?”

“Hi Nicky,” I said happily. “Where are youuuu?”

“I’m home. Are you okay?”

“Of course I am!” I dropped the phone and scrambled on the sidewalk to pick it up. Rochelle was puking her guts out over a trashcan.

“Helllooooooooooo?”

“Liv?” His voice seemed far away; I realized I was holding the phone upside down. I turned it right side up and pressed it against my ear.

“Do you know how hot you are?” I babbled happily.

“Liv? How much have you had to drink?”

“Just a sipple.” I snorted. “Sipple. Isn’t that a funny word?”

Nick sighed.

“Rochelle’s not picking up the phone and AJ’s here with me. Where are you guys? We’ll come get you.”

“AJ?” I said. Rochelle turned.

“Tell him he’s an asshole!” she called out.

“He’s an asshole!” I repeated into the phone.

There was some muffled talking and then AJ came on the line.

“Liv, can you put Rochelle on?”

Rochelle stumbled towards me. I held out the phone.

“Your husband wants to speak to you,” I said, tossing my head back. The back of my head connected painfully with the brick building that was holding me up. As stars danced in front of my eyes she took the phone, disconnected, and stuck it back in my bag.

“Let’s go,” she said, hooking her arm through mine. We stumbled into each other as we made our way down the street.

“Wh—where?”

“Who cares?”

In my alcohol soaked brain, she made sense. I laughed.

“Yeah. Who cares?”

Chapter Nineteen – Two Men and a Baby: Operation Find Rochelle and Liv (As Told by Nick)

“She hung up on me! She fucking hung up on me!”

“Who?”

“Rochelle!”

I had been in the middle of feeding Brooklyn when the doorbell rang. She was still sucking greedily on her bottle as AJ walked in looking extremely pissed.

“Is she here?” AJ had said, brushing past me.

“Well, hello,” I said, closing the door behind him. “What a nice surprise.”

“Is Rochelle here?” AJ repeated.

“She was here,” I said. Brooklyn got the last drop of milk and spit the nipple out. She let out a warrior cry that would have made Xena jealous. I set the bottle on the end table and placed her up on my shoulder for a burping. “Rochelle and Liv went clubbing.”

AJ turned to look at me.

“Seriously? Ugh, I can’t believe this. First she screams at me and takes off across the country and now she’s out getting drunk.”

I watched him dig around in his pocket. A second later he had a cigarette stuck in his mouth and was flicking his lighter.

“Uh, excuse me,” I said. I yanked the cigarette out of his mouth.

“You’re in the no smoking section dawg,” I said tapping the end of the cigarette against his forehead. “I’ve got a baby here.”

AJ threw his hands up in the air. “Ugh.”

He grabbed the cigarette back and headed outside. From the front window I could see a stream of smoke wafting through the air. Five minutes later he was back inside and much calmer. The nicotine had kicked in.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I should ask you the same thing. How did you get stuck being Mr. Mom?”

I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t get stuck being Mr. Mom. It’s called parenting.”

AJ sighed. “I wouldn’t know about that. We can’t even seal the deal.”

“What?”

AJ shook his head. “Never mind.”

AJ quickly gave me the brief version of what happened. Rochelle had yelled at him for no good reason and taken off after having a temper tantrum. AJ had hopped a flight and was coming to kiss and make up. Now all we had to do was find them.

I knew the second Liv said hello that she was drunk. I had only seen her tipsy once before. She made a cute drunk. Unfortunately, she was now a cute drunk out on the town with guys who would just love to take advantage of that cuteness.

I was the only one that could take advantage of her. I sighed.

“Okay, since she hung up on you I think we’re going to have to go look for them. They’re drunk so they’re not moving fast. I’m sure they went downtown so they could bar hop. Let’s just go take a look.”

“Sounds good,” AJ said, rubbing his goatee. I held out Brooklyn; he looked at me in surprise.

“What?”

“Hold her. I’ve got to get a diaper bag.”

“We’re taking her?”

“Liv’s mom has a date. Yes, we’re taking her.”

I passed Brooke to AJ and ran upstairs. Liv always packed the diaper bag; I had no clue what she put in it. I stood holding the light pink bag with butterflies on it feeling a little dumbfounded. Two years ago the room had held nothing but a collection of Playboys and a dartboard. Now I was my daughter’s bedroom.

Weird.

I stuffed a few diapers and wipes into the bag and headed back down. The bag felt much lighter than when Liv packed it, but I couldn’t imagine anything else I needed. I didn’t think our trip would take too long. AJ and I never had a problem finding drunk girls, haha.

I heard AJ singing as I hit the bottom steps. I smiled to see him holding Brooke like she was a piece of glass, a goofy smile lighting up his face as he sang softly.

“Hey, you ready?” I asked.

He looked up in surprise. His demeanor changed back to “bad-ass” AJ mode.

“What? Yeah. Let’s roll.”

I took Brooklyn from him and we headed out to my car. I got Brooke buckled into her car seat. AJ looked over my shoulder.

“Dude, that looks complicated.”

“Nope, it’s easier when she’s not kicking, but I know how to distract her.” I pulled out one of her bath mitt puppets and began to dance it in front of her. While her eyes followed the dancing duck, I finished strapping her in. I set the duck down on her lap and closed the door. AJ was looking at me with a smile.

“What?”

“I’ve never seen you distract a girl with a duck.”

I laughed. “There’s a first time for everything.”

We headed towards downtown Tampa. I tried not to think of how much trouble two drunken women could get into without someone sober along. The phone call Liv had gotten from Jess played through my mind. I had told her not to worry, but here I was doing exactly that. If Hunter was back in town and got to her first…

“Slow down,” AJ said. I glanced at the speedometer and slowed my pace. I didn’t need to be arrested. Again. My mug shot would haunt me forever.

I drove into the midst of downtown. I knew exactly which corner was overrun with night clubs and bars. Our first stop was Club Underground. I pulled to a stop.

“Go in and see if you can find them,” I told AJ.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I have a baby in the car!”

“Oh, right, right.”

I dropped him off and circled the block, keeping my eyes open for a little thing with orange hair and my curvaceous fiancée.

At least she had been curvaceous. Her stupid diet was making her look too thin. Now I knew what all the fans were talking about when they had told me my face looked gaunt when I was with Lauren. I had gained back some weight between the pregnancy and being off tour, but I still felt great. Now I just needed to get Liv to eat something besides lettuce.

On my third trip around the block I saw AJ emerge empty handed. I pulled up and he got in.

“No luck?”

“Not unless you count the two phone numbers girls slipped in my back pocket,” he said with a smirk. He took out the pieces of paper, balled them up, and dropped them out the window.

Out next stop was the Spice Lounge. AJ once again got out and I circled the block. It was a hot and humid night. Even with the air conditioner on, the inside temp of the car was oppressive. On my second trip around the block, Brooklyn began to babble crankily.

On my fourth trip around I was beginning to think that AJ might have found them since he was taking so long. Then I saw him walk out. He was alone. I double parked, but instead of getting in, he motioned for me to roll down the window.

“What does Liv’s ex look like?” he asked.

“Why?”

“Is he a fat ass with red hair?”

“That sums it up pretty well.”

“He’s in there asking around about Liv.”

“What?” Without realizing it I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid out of the car.

“Dude, you’re parked illegally.”

“Get in and drive around,” I said.

“What if Brooke needs something?”

“I won’t be long.”

AJ slid up into the seat and took off. I wound my way through the crowd. I was sick of Hunter meddling in our life. He was the one that had fucked up and drove Liv away. Now he was regretting it.

I wanted to give him something he’d really regret. My hand clenched into a fist.

It didn’t take long before I spotted him. He was chatting up a leggy blonde. I came up behind him to overhear his conversation.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen my wife in ages. She left me and my little girl without even a note. I’m trying to find her so my little girl can have both of her parents.” He held out a picture of Liv that must have been taken by one of those celeb magazines.

I snorted. Hunter turned around; he seemed surprised to see me.

“I guess the restraining order wasn’t a big enough hint that you aren’t welcome down here?” I asked. I had height and muscle over him, but he had bulk. He straightened up and glared at me.

“I’m just having a fun night on the town.”

The leggy blonde stared at me as if trying to place me and then fell back into the crowd. I cracked my knuckles and plucked the picture from his grasp.

“This is harassment,” I said, shaking the picture. “You have no reason to get involved in her life and she wants you to leave us alone. How hard is that?”

“You’re not married yet,” Hunter replied. I laughed.

“Oh, you think she’s going to run back to you?” I asked scornfully. “Hell, even your baby momma can’t stand you. She called Liv and warned her that you were coming down here.”

“What? Jess?” Hunter said. “She has no idea why I’m down here.”

I grabbed onto his shirt, yanking him close. “She mentioned something about a baby. I swear to god that if you fuck with Liv or my daughter I will kill you.”

Hunter didn’t bat an eye. “Now I see where your brother gets it.”

My blood ran cold.

“What? What about my brother?”

Hunter pulled away from me and laughed. A crowd of people pushed their way between us up to the bar. The last vision I saw of Hunter was of him running his finger along his neck and then pointing at me.

This couldn’t be good.

With new resolve to find Liv and Rochelle, I did another quick scan of the club and then went back outside. AJ was idling at the corner. He waved me over and rolled down the window.

“Get in, I found them,” he said. I hopped into the passenger seat. “Where?”

AJ drove about three blocks over. Rochelle was smoking outside of a tattoo parlor. Liv was slumped on the ground beside her. I thought she was singing, but I couldn’t be sure.

“I wanted backup before I approached them,” AJ said. “Ro hasn’t had a cigarette in forever. The nicotine’s probably given her the strength of ten men.”

AJ pulled up to the curb and we got out. Rochelle watched us under heavily lidded eyes. AJ walked up and plucked the cigarette from her hand and touched her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I didn’t know what he was sorry about, but obviously she did. She threw her arms around him and began to cry.

I just wanna take you home / we can make a story of our own / please don’t get me wrong / I just wannaaaaaaaa

I knelt down next to Liv. She stared up at me. A huge lopsided grin lit up her face.

“You’re Nick Carter,” she said goofily. Her fingers grabbed my shirt. “I’mma gonna marry you.”

“Yes you are,” I said. “But I think you’ve had too much to drink.”

She shook her head. “Nu-uh. Just one…or two...or three….” She started with two fingers then continued to add until she held up both her hands. I scooped her up.

“Are you going to take advantage of me?” she asked hopefully. She smelled like a living liquor bottle. I don’t know how women ever found me sexy when I was plastered.

I looked over at AJ. He had Rochelle’s face cupped in his hands, kissing her passionately. The rest of the street was deserted, but I still had a bad feeling.

“J, we need to get out of here,” I said tensely. He looked over and nodded.

I carried Liv to the car and climbed in the backseat with her. AJ helped Rochelle into the passenger seat.

As soon as I sat down Liv looked at me. She sighed dramatically.

“You’re so sexy. I don’t know why I ever liked Brian. That’s like enjoying chocolate sprinkles when you can have a whole jar of hot fudge.”

AJ began to laugh. Rochelle’s head was already resting on her shoulder; she was asleep. I felt Liv’s hands slide under my shirt. I grabbed her hands and rested them on her lap. Her face buried in the crook of my neck. Out of the corner of my eye I glanced over at Brooke. She was wide awake. In that second I felt the enormity of responsibility. Even the thought of potential wild sex with a drunk Liv wasn’t helping me at the moment.

“Hey, was I right?” AJ asked as he eased into traffic. “Was that her ex?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Did you put him in his place?”

I looked out at the night feeling the same chill I had experienced when Hunter had mentioned my brother. It was the second time in a week that Aaron had been mentioned.

“No,” I said quietly. “I think he put me in mine.”

Chapter Twenty – June 6

-- Olivia --

I woke up the next morning feeling as if I had been run over by a cement truck. The only time I had felt worse was when Aaron had laced my drink with roofies. I moaned and winced at the bright light that flooded our room.

The night before was hazy. The last thing I remembered was coming off the karaoke stage. I had drunk more than I ever had in my entire life. Somehow it was easy to keep downing liquor in Rochelle’s company.

“Good morning wild child.”

I winced as I turned my head towards the doorway. Nick was already full dressed, peering in at me with a little smirk on his face.

“Oh my god,” I moaned, pressing my palms against my temples.

“Want some aspirin?”

“Yes,” I moaned.

I heard the sink in the bathroom turn on. A moment later, Nick handed me a glass and an aspirin.

“Did you have fun last night?”

I felt myself blush. “I…don’t know. Yes?”

“Do you know how you got home?”

“Not really.”

“AJ and I scoured downtown Tampa to find you two.”

“AJ was here?”

“Yeah, Rochelle and AJ actually stayed in the guest room last night. I haven’t seen them yet.” Nick grinned. “But I don’t think they’re still sleeping.”

I realized I was wearing one of Nick’s t-shirts; a gray one that said Hershey’s. I looked over at him.

“You puked on that cute little shirt you were wearing. Then you tried to molest me and then you passed out,” he explained. “I put you in that shirt and got you in bed.”

“I’m never drinking again,” I said with a sigh. I went to lean back; an intense pain shot across my back. My skin felt like fire.

“Oh!” I cried out, my hand flying to my back. Nick’s grin widened.

“I’m going to guess you don’t remember that part of the night either,” he said.

“What? What part? What did I do?”

His eyes danced. “You got inked.”

“I what?”

Even though my head felt like it was about to crack open, I stood up and made my way to the bathroom. Grabbing my hand mirror, I turned around and lifted my shirt. I gasped.

Centered on my lower back just above my butt was a red heart with Nick’s name written in white cursive. Black scrollwork looped off of it going in either direction.

“Oh my god. I got a tattoo!” I cried out.

I have an intense fear of needles. Hunter used to tell me that tattoos on women were the ugliest thing in the world. It was the only thing him and my mom agreed on. Because of my fear, I assured both of them that I would never get a tattoo. And now here I was after a crazy drunken night. Inked.

The first thought that went through my head was whether my wedding dress would cover the tattoo. After a quick calculation, I assured myself it wouldn’t show. My skin was red and raw; I couldn’t even imagine the pain that came from getting such an intricate and large design.

I looked up to see Nick hovering in the bathroom door. His hands were braced on either side of the frame. He was smiling; I was pretty sure the look of horror was still on my face. I glanced into the hand mirror; I was right.

“My mom’s going to kill me,” I said. Nick laughed.

“She doesn’t like tattoos?”

“Not on her daughter!”

“Well can I voice my opinion?”

I glanced back over at him. His smile grew.

“I think it’s incredibly hot.”

I looked at it through the hand mirror again and took a deep breath. I adored Nick’s tattoos but it just seemed so weird to me. I didn’t remember even walking into a tattoo parlor let alone lying there with my ass hanging out while some guy went to work.

“Well it could be worse,” I said.

“Yeah, you could have had Brian’s name tattooed on you.”

I looked over at Nick, my nose wrinkled. He laughed and walked into the bathroom. He reached around me and opened the medicine cabinet.

“Lean over the sink,” he instructed. I looked at him in surprise; a thousand dirty thoughts ran through my mind. He clicked his tongue and shook his head.

“I’m going to put some ointment on so the burning feels better,” he explained with a smile.

Blushing I turned around and lifted the shirt. A second later I jumped as his fingers applied cold cream to the area. The rapid change from burning fire to cool felt amazing. I let out a soft moan. When he pulled his hand away I turned around and kissed him.

“Thank you. That feels much better.”

“Good.”

I noticed something in his eyes that I hadn’t before. He seemed…distracted.

“What’s wrong?”

He sighed.

“We need to talk.”

“Did I do something else stupid last night?”

Nick shook his head. “No. It’s about Hunter.”

My eyes widened which only hurt my head more. My fingers wrapped around the end of the sink.

“What about him?”

“I bumped into him last night.”

“Where?”

“In one of the clubs that we went to looking for you. He was asking people if they had seen you.”

I studied Nick from the top of his head to his toes; he didn’t seem to have a bruise on him.

“What happened when you saw him?”

Nick sat on the edge of the tub, resting his elbows on his knees.

“He mentioned Aaron.”

“What?”

“I threatened to kill Hunter if he came near you or Brooke and he said that he could see where my brother gets it. I didn’t get a chance to ask him what he meant. He got lost in the crowd.”

“So, what does this mean?”

Nick took a deep breath and looked up at me. “This means that I’m calling the police.”

-------------------------------------------------

Two hours later we had just said goodbye to AJ and Rochelle when an officer pulled up to the house. Nick showed him into the living room. The first thing Nick did was text Angel for a copy of the photos. Once she wrote back that they were successfully emailed, the officer brought them up on the laptop. They were even grainer on a bigger screen.

“Your sister didn’t approach him?” the officer questioned.

“No. She didn’t realize until afterwards when she was reviewing the pictures.”

“The last time you saw your brother was in Cozumel, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have any reason to believe that he is still alive? Has he tried to contact you?”

“No.”

“As for Hunter Ryans…you have a restraining order against him?”

“Yes.”

“Has he made any threats towards you or your family?”

Nick seemed to skip over the part where he told Hunter he would kill him. “Before he disappeared in the crowd he made a motion as if slitting my throat.”

My eyes widened. Nick had skipped over that part when he was telling me about his little “chat.”

The officer leaned back, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Your brother’s body was never found, right?”

“Right.”

The officer sighed. “You’ve got to understand that the possibility that your brother could have jumped off a lighthouse, survived, and ended up two countries away is a little hard to believe. It’s also hard to believe that a guy from Wisconsin would somehow get in cahoots with him.”

“What are you trying to say?” Nick asked, a hard tone creeping into his voice.

“I’m saying that I will file this report through our precinct and follow up with you at a later date.”

“That’s it?”

“If you see Mr. Ryans or Mr. Carter anywhere around your property, don’t hesitate to call us. If they contact you in any way let us know.”

Nick and the officer stood up at the same time. The officer closed his laptop and held out his hand. Nick shook it, but I could tell from the muscle ticking in his jaw that he wasn’t satisfied.

After Nick had shown the officer out he returned to the living room. He punched the back of the couch then smashed his face into the cushion. He looked like an ostrich.

“I feel like I’m in a fucking episode of CSI,” he said, his voice muffled from the cushion.

I walked over and placed my hand on his back.

“I’m sorry Nick,” I said quietly. “This is all my fault.”

He looked up in surprise. “Your fault?”

“If it wasn’t for me Hunter wouldn’t be bothering the crap out of you. And you’ve got to admit, all this crap with Aaron started in Las Vegas.”

Nick shook his head. “No, crap with Aaron started years ago. And it’s really not Hunter I’m worried about. It’s my dumbass brother.”

I wanted to remind him that he was the one that had lost it at his “dumbass” brother’s funeral six months ago, but I thought better of it.

“So what’s our plan?” I said.

“Our plan? My plan is to keep you and Brooklyn safe. I’m not leaving the two of you out of my sight.”

“How is that going to be possible?” I said. “We have wedding plans to finish and you’re doing preliminary meetings for the new album. Plus, if people see you holed out here like a hermit, that’s going to bring more attention to the situation. We have security all around this house and people that can go with us where we need to go.”

Nick looked doubtful, but I could also tell he knew he didn’t have much choice.

“I don’t like not having control,” he admitted. Tears sprang to his eyes.

“And if anything happens to you or Brooke I won’t be able to live with myself.”

Chapter Twenty One – June 9

A change came over Nick in the few days since the club incident. He wasn’t freaking out like he had been, but his face was set and smiles were few and far between. He seemed constantly on alert. When he held Brooke he looked at her like he wished he could enclose her in a bubble and tuck her safely away. The look on his face when I grabbed my keys in the middle of the afternoon was one of sheer panic.

“Where are you going?”

“We need groceries.”

“So?”

“So, I have to go to the store!”

Nick padded past me and opened the refrigerator.

“I think we have plenty of food.”

“We have a wilted head of lettuce, a half full carton of orange juice, and some taco cheese.”

“So?”

“I need a new head of lettuce. And we need diapers!”

Nick sighed. Under usual circumstances he hated going to the grocery store, but the thought of going now was probably like finger nails on a chalkboard to him. I know he would have ordered in all of our meals before going to the store, but he couldn’t argue with the need for diapers. He sighed again.

“If you have to go, then we’ll all go.”

“Nick…”

“No, I’ll get Brooklyn. You write out a list.”

Nick took the stairs two at a time; I took out a notepad. My stomach growled miserably. I was sick of lettuce and grapefruit juice. After the wedding I never wanted to see those two foods ever again.

After checking the cereal supply (low) and the milk supply (nonexistent) I scribbled out a few more necessities. Nick came back down, blowing raspberries on Brooke’s stomach as he descended.

“All good?” he asked. I held up the notepad and nodded.

“Yup. Let’s roll.”

It was another boiling hot day. The minute we stepped outside my t-shirt clung to my chest like it had been vacuum sealed to my skin. Brooke began to cry as Nick strapped her into the car seat.

“Need help?” I asked, leaning over him.

“Nope, just get in the car,” he said. He glanced over his shoulder, looking around the area.

The minute Nick climbed into the car, he hit the door lock. Brooke continued to fuss in the backseat as he eased into traffic.

I had picked the wrong time to go to the grocery store. Traffic was at an all time high. Just minutes away from the store we were stuck in a standstill. Nick cranked the air conditioner up to full blast but it did nothing to help relieve the humidity.

“What the hell is going on?” he asked, craning his neck to see what the holdup might be.

Ten minutes later we still hadn’t moved. Nick was sighed and tapping the wheel and he was looking around so much that I was sure he was going to pull a neck muscle. The tension was too much for me to take.

Stuck in traffic / we are never going to get to the grocery store / cause we are stuck in traffic / stuck in trafffficcccc /

Nick looked at me in confusion for a moment then smiled. He finished off the song.

We are living in helllllll / cause we are stuck in trafficcccccc

We laughed.

Traffic began to ease up about fifteen minutes later. Nick squeezed us into a tight parking spot and got out. I had never seen the man move so fast; Brooklyn was in his arms before I even got out of the passenger side.

I felt like I was a contestant in Supermarket Sweep. Nick hustled down the aisles, occasionally tossing something into the cart. When we got to the baby aisle, Nick threw so many packages of Pampers in the cart that Brooklyn would probably outgrow the size before she used them all.

“Nick, what are you doing?” I asked patiently. He paused with another package in his hand.

“Stocking up.”

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because this is stupid. I’m sick of being scared. Ever since we met with that voodoo lady I’ve been the one freaking out. Now that I’m seeing you freak out I realize how stupid this is.”

I was getting myself worked up in the middle of the grocery store. My hands were waving a mile an hour as Nick just looked at me dumbfounded. My hair stuck to my forehead; as warm as it was in the store I highly doubted the frozen foods were still frozen.

“Liv…” Nick began to say but I cut him off.

“No. We’re going to finish grocery shopping, unpack, and then go do something normal people would do. Like go to the park.”

“No normal person would go to the park on a day like this.”

I didn’t respond, instead I turned around and began to march down the aisle. I heard the wheels of our squeaky cart following behind me at a distance.

With every step I took the temperature seemed to rise. The heat mixed with the smell coming from the deli made my stomach flip flop. As I rounded the corner toward the water and soda aisle, the whole store seemed to spin.

The last thing I remember was grabbing onto a shelf before the world went black.

-------------------------------------------------

When I came around I was pretty sure I had died. The room where I was lying was so cold that I was positive that I had been taken to the morgue. I was going to be buried alive!

“She’s coming around,” I heard someone say. I was hoping it was the mortician before they embalmed me. I was kind of fond of my organs.

“Liv, are you okay?”

Nick’s face swam into my line of vision. I looked around in confusion. I was in the manager’s office of the grocery store.

“What happened?”

“You fainted.”

I began to sit up.

“Slow,” Nick commanded. Brooklyn’s head was resting on Nick’s shoulder. She yawned.

I slowed my movements until I was in a complete sitting position. The spinning had disappeared; I looked around and sighed. A woman who I assumed was the grocery manager handed me a cup of water. I took a sip; the liquid hit my stomach like a lead weight.

“Are you okay to stand?” Nick asked. I nodded. I stood up and tested my legs. They didn’t feel like Jell-O so I figured I was good to go.

Nick pulled up to the front of the store and got me and Brooklyn into the car. He disappeared into the store and came out a moment later with our cart of groceries. I sat slumped in the front seat feeling humiliated. After a few minutes Nick opened his door and got in. A blast of hot air filled the car. He pulled back into traffic. We were halfway home when he turned into McDonald’s.

“What do you want?” he asked. I shook my head.

“I’m not hungry.”

The tick in his jaw was back. “We’re not playing this game. I told that manager the heat must have made you light-headed but I know damn well it’s because all you have in your stomach is rabbit food and grapefruit juice. Now what do you want?”

I blinked back tears. Nick wouldn’t meet my eyes; I knew it was because he fell apart when I started crying. He inched up to the window.

“Can I take your order?”

“I’ll have a number one and a diet Coke.” Nick looked at me.

I sighed. “A cheeseburger.”

“And a cheeseburger, small fry, and diet Coke.”

He pulled up closer to the pay window. I folded my arms.

“Our groceries are going to melt.”

“We didn’t get any meltables.”

“Our milk is going to spoil.”

He didn’t answer. Nick pulled up and paid and grabbed the greasy bag of food. He handed it to me and continued our drive home.

When we pulled up to the house, Nick got Brooklyn out and carried her upstairs. I opened the back of the car and began to unload groceries. By the time I made the first trip in, Nick had walked out and returned with the bag of food. He set it down on the island.

“I’ll finish getting the groceries. You sit down and eat”

I slid up onto the barstool and sighed. I took a big sip of the Diet Coke; a rush of fizz flowed through my veins. It tasted amazing.

It took two more trips for Nick to get the groceries in and I had yet to open my burger. He quickly put away the cold food and slid up on the stool across from me.

“Eat.”

He opened his Big Mac and took a big bite. With slow deliberation I unwrapped my cheeseburger. I inhaled the scent greedily.

If the Diet Coke was amazing, the cheeseburger was heaven. I closed my eyes as the grease poured through my body. I sadly thought of my wedding dress. I took another bite.

The burger had won.

And I was almost glad it had.

Chapter Twenty Two - June 13

“Do you want spaghetti or tacos?” I asked Nick. He was doing laps around the kitchen, feeding Brooklyn. For the past four days I had eaten normal food. It felt good.

“Hmm,” he said thoughtfully. “Tacos.”

I laughed. “Muy buena.”

I was frying up the hamburger when the phone rang. Nick kept Brooklyn’s bottle straight with his chin and grabbed the phone.

“Yel-lo?” he said awkwardly before getting a better grip. “Hello?”

I couldn’t make out the words, but I could tell that the voice on the other end was in hysterics. I looked at Nick; he motioned for me to take Brooklyn. Turning off the stove burner, I walked over and scooped her up. The voice on the other end of the line continued to practically scream.

“BJ…BJ!” Nick finally yelled out forcefully. “Calm DOWN. I didn’t understand a thing you said.”

I sat down and began to pat Brooklyn’s back waiting for the burp. Nick frowned; I heard BJ’s voice slow but still remain incredibly high-pitched. The more she talked, the paler Nick got.

“Okay, take a deep breath. What time did he call you?”

Nick walked over and grabbed the pad I used for making grocery lists. With pen poised, he began to take down notes.

“Did he say where he was?”

Nick listened for a moment.

“No, I don’t think you’re crazy.”

He listened again.

“BJ, that’s crazy. Ouija boards are all in good fun. They can’t bring people back from the dead.” He sighed. “Yes I knew. Angel told me. Of course we didn’t tell you. Why? Why do you think? You’re hysterical.”

The rest of the conversation continued in pretty much the same way. Finally Nick hung up. He smacked the phone against his forehead.

“I wish I was an only child,” Nick said. I had a feeling that was putting it mildly.

“I’m going to guess that was BJ?”

Nick looked my way. “Aaron called BJ.”

My eyes widened. “Are you serious? He called BJ?”

“I know. Of anyone in the whole family to call he had to get in contact with BJ. She blamed me and Angel for playing with the Ouija board. She swore he was calling from beyond the grave.”

In ordinary circumstances, that would be really funny, but knowing how crazy Aaron was, I couldn’t even break a smile.

“What did he say?”

Nick looked like he didn’t want to answer.

“Nick?”

“He asked BJ about Brooklyn.”

My eyes widened. “What? What about her?”

“He told BJ all he wanted to know was her name.”

My heart began to pound in my chest. Nick picked up the phone.

“Who are you calling?”

“I think I’m going to put in another friendly call to the police station.”

-------------------------------------------

“Mr. Carter, I understand your concern and I’m going to add it to the previous report. I’ll also follow up with Miss Carter to get a preliminary statement. But, I’m sure you’re aware that you’re in the public eye. Until we have concrete information that you or your family is in extreme danger, all we can do is follow sources.”

Nick shook his head. “So what you’re telling me is that my family has to be dodging bullets before you’ll act? This is ridiculous.”

I was sitting next to Nick; his hand was squeezing mine tightly. We had put Brooklyn down for a nap just as the officer had arrived. My faith in our law enforcement system had officially hit rock bottom.

The officer stood and offered a hand to Nick. Nick didn’t take it. Instead his cool blue eyes studied the uniformed man. The officer coughed nervously and tucked his notebook into his breast pocket.

“I’ll just show myself off,” he said. Nick and I heard his hard soled shoes hit loudly on the foyer floor.

Nick stood up. “Liv,” he said quietly as we heard the front door close. “I want you to set the alarm system and make sure all the windows are locked.”

I looked at him in confusion.

“Where are you going?”

Nick cracked his knuckles. “I can’t sit around any longer. I’ve got to find out what’s going on and I can’t do that sitting here.”

“But…”

Nick shook his head. “I’m only going to be gone a couple days. I want you to call your mom and have her stay with you.”

He began to head towards the stairs. I stood and followed his; I grabbed his arm.

“Nick, I’m not going to let you do anything stupid.”

He gave me a crooked smile. “I’m not going to do anything stupid. But we’re getting married in less than three weeks. I’m not going to have this hanging over our heads.”

I argued feebly for the next hour as he packed a duffel bag. He wouldn’t tell me where he was going; instead he pulled me into his arms and gave me an urgent kiss.

“I love you, Liv,” he said. “Don’t forget that.”

I followed him to the nursery, blinking back tears. Nick leaned over the railing, stroking Brooke’s blonde hair. He kissed her soft cheek and sighed.

“Nick, you’re a singer. You’re not Rambo,” I reminded him.

“I’m not going to be a hero,” he said again. “I just want to stir up enough trouble that the police will finally take notice.”

With that he took off. An hour later my mom arrived, adding to my cluttered thoughts with bits and pieces about her mystery man. She was positively glowing. Her ‘mom-dar’ wasn’t even picking up on my stress like it usually did.

That night as I crawled into bed, I stared at the blinking red light indicating that the security was on through the whole house. I had checked the lock on every window; I had the video monitor propped on my nightstand so I could watch Brooklyn sleep.

I was scared, but I was even more terrified for Nick.

--------------------------------------------

June 17

Four days passed without a word from Nick. After the first day, my mom finally realized how upset I was. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what was going on. For anyone that wasn’t living it, the whole premise seemed absurd. I just told her that Nick was having family issues. Mom’s mind automatically went to Jane.

“There’s something mentally imbalanced about that lady,” mom commented. I just nodded; my mind was elsewhere.

Thankfully Brooklyn seemed to sense the urgency of the matter. I couldn’t have asked for a better baby. Mom was absolutely in love with her and I had no problem stealing away for a few moments when I needed to calm myself down. If Brooklyn wasn’t sleeping, she was either in my arms or my mom’s. On the fourth day without Nick, I watched as Brooklyn kicked her pudgy legs while she sat in her little tub in the sink. She squealed happily as mom poured water over her head. She was a water baby through and through.

Just like her dad.

Mom had just wrapped Brooklyn in a soft green froggy towel when I heard the security system being disarmed. I quickly walked down the hall and peeked into the room next to Nick’s studio. It housed a monitor that showed the views from our outside cameras. My shoulders slumped in relief when I saw the top of Nick’s head.

I raced back down the hall, past the kitchen, and slid into the foyer just as the door opened. Nick caught me before I fell on my ass.

“Nick,” I said breathlessly. His five o’clock shadow was more like a twelve o’clock shadow. He smelled like smoke and perspiration. He grabbed me and held onto me tightly.

“Everything okay here?”

“Absolutely fine.”

I waited for him to say something else. I was waiting for a “Hey, we caught Aaron and he’s never going to bother us again.” Or a “Hey, Aaron’s really dead and Hunter’s full of shit.”

I didn’t get either. Instead Nick nodded towards the hallway.

“I need to speak to you. In the studio.”

At that moment, mom walked into the foyer, still holding our little froggy girl.

“Welcome home,” mom said. I saw a look of surprise cross her face; Nick looked like crap. Nick smiled.

“Thanks. I appreciate you staying with Liv.”

Mom nodded; Nick took my elbow.

“I just need a few moments alone with your lovely daughter,” he added. I felt mom’s eyes on my back as Nick and I headed towards the studio. We walked in and Nick closed the soundproof door.

“You’re going to want to sit down,” he said calmly. It was a fake calm, one that seemed to be taking every ounce of control. I sat down on his drum chair and looked up at him.

“Aaron’s alive,” Nick stated. That was something I had already pieced together.

“He’s a little pissed at me for screwing things up in Cozumel.” Yet again, this came as no surprise.

“And he’s involved with the baddest mother fuckers I have ever seen in my life. He’s trying to get back on their good side by becoming a trafficker. But until he gets the targets they really want he’s still as good as dead.”

I felt my mouth grow dry. I was desperately hoping a director would jump out of the shadows and yell ‘Cut!’ and we could all have a good laugh.

No such luck.

“Who are the targets?” I asked quietly. Nick didn’t take his eyes off me. He had hardened himself from the revelation, but I could still see the pain etched in his face. Before he even spoke, I knew the answer.

“You and Brooklyn,” he said quietly.

“And how does Hunter play into all of this?” I asked.

“Aaron made him an offer he couldn’t refuse,” Nick said his voice breaking.

“A lot of money."

"A chance to get back at me.”

“And a little private time with you.”

Chapter Twenty Three - June 19

The waiting was the hardest part. We knew Hunter would strike; we just didn’t know when. Luckily we didn’t have to wait too long. Nick and Angel had formulated a plan. Two days after Nick returned home, he received a mysterious phone call and quickly put the plan into action.

“I don’t know about this,” I said nervously as Angel slipped into a pair of my jeans and a hoodie. The hoodie was way too big for her; it hung low over her eyes. All you could see was a few strands of her dark hair.

“It’ll be fine,” Angel said calmly. Nick walked into our bedroom.

“I’ve got the stroller ready,” he said in a calm equal to Angel’s. I sighed.

Their plan was to have Angel take “Brooklyn” out for a stroll along the new beach walk that had just been installed. Nick was counting on Hunter seizing the first opportunity he encountered to get “me” and “Brooklyn” alone. Nick would be hiding nearby. The whole thing had me breaking into a cold sweat.

“What’s in the stroller?” I asked.

“The teddy bear Baylee gave Brooklyn,” Nick said.

Angel gave a hard tug on the drawstrings, tightening the head of the hoodie even more.

“I’m ready.”

“I’ll be hiding behind the big drum,” Nick explained. He lifted the bottom of his shirt. I let out a gasp at the barrel of a gun tucked into his waistband. “He’s not getting away.”

“Nick…”

He turned to me. “Liv, I’m not going to shoot to kill. You remember your part of the plan right?”

I nodded. As soon as Angel and Nick left the house I was supposed to wait five minutes and call the police.

“What if we do this and Hunter’s not around?” I asked. “The police will have our asses for calling in a false emergency.”

“I don’t care,” Nick said. “It’s because of them that we have to do this anyhow. Plus, I trust my source.”

The three of us walked downstairs. Every single curtain and blind wad drawn; the house was like a…morgue.

Nick glanced at his watch. “I’m heading out.”

The plan was that he’d leave through the front door and take off in the car. He’d park a couple blocks away and then circle around. Angel and I stood in tense silence. Tears sprang to my eyes.

“It’s going to be okay, Liv,” Angel whispered. “I’m going to add bad-ass superspy to my modeling resume as soon as this is over.”

I gave a weak laugh. The minutes ticked by. Finally her hands wrapped around the stroller and she took a deep breath.

“I’m off. Don’t forget. Call the police.”

She opened the door leading towards the beach. Before I had a chance to say a word, she closed the door behind her.

I was greeted with dead silence. Brooklyn was asleep in her bassinet in Nick’s studio; all doors leading into the room were locked.

I looked at my watch. The minutes ticked by slowly. Finally, as five minutes elapsed I walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone, dialing the number that the officer had left with us. I was sent to voicemail. Cursing, I immediately hit redial. Again, voicemail. I was about ready to call 911 when a hand clamped over my mouth. I fought against it, but I was yanked back forcefully.

“Looking for me?”

My eyes widened even as I fought for breath. It was the officer that had blown us off about Aaron. His hand dropped from my mouth in order to yank my arm painfully behind my back.

“You?” I gasped. I didn’t even know the officer’s name; I would have had to look at his business card. It hadn’t seemed to matter. The police were all the same…right?

“You think the precinct pays well?” he asked with a laugh. “Honey, like I told Carter. He’s in the public eye. He reeks of cash. I do a little favor for his crazy brother and I’m set. I’m tired of getting shot at.”

He twisted my arm even harder so that I was braced against him.

“Let’s take a walk. Where’s the baby?”

“What baby?”

“Don’t fuck with me. Where’s the baby? Brooklyn, right?”

Before I could respond I heard a gunshot coming from the direction of the beach. I started to cry out, but his hands smacked into my face hard and I stumbled. The next thing I felt poking into my back was unmistakably a gun.

“Let’s stop playing around, huh?” he said. “Carter thought he was so smart with this little plan, but see, as a cop I knew something was fishy. I let your dumbass ex-husband believe it was you leaving the house and I snuck back here. Good thing I’m so great at security systems. Carter has a great one.”

I was pretty sure my heart was tripping over itself; I had never hyperventilated in my life, but now seemed like a good time.

“Now, where’s the baby?”

My mind focused again on the feeling of the gun. “The nursery,” I said. I prayed he would leave me to check, but he nudged the barrel against my spine.

“Let’s take a walk then, huh?”

As we ascended the stairs I tried to guess how much time I had left before he shot me. I figured as soon as he saw the empty crib that my hourglass would run out. I stepped onto the landing and paused. He pushed me forward.

A large tear ran down my face. I didn’t know if that had been Nick’s gun or a gun aimed at Angel or Nick…or both. My shaking hand reached for the doorknob.

The sound of a gunshot rang loud in my ear.

I was sure that I had been shot. I screamed louder than I ever had in my life and crumpled to the floor. Only after a few seconds had passed and I didn’t feel excruciating pain did I open my eyes and turn. The officer was lying on the ground, a dark red pool of blood spilling out on the floor.

I looked up to see a woman dressed in head to toe black still holding the gun at the ready. She looked at me.

“You okay?”

I was seconds away from swallowing my tongue. I nodded weakly.

“Your husband’s a good singer but he’s a lousy action hero,” she said.

“Nick?” I croaked. “Is he okay?”

The woman nodded. “He’s fine. A little wet but fine.”

I blinked. “Who are you?”

She reached into a black pocket and pulled out a badge. When she flipped it open I could clearly see the FBI badge.

“Justine McKenna. FBI.”

“How—“ I began to say, but she cut me off.

“We’ve been after Aaron since December. Unfortunately his stupidity got way too many people involved. This wasn’t the way we planned on taking him down.”

The toe of her boot nudged the officer. He was clearly dead.

“Of course cleaning out the local police department is an added plus.”

The full impact of what just happened hit me hard. The smell of blood, sweat, and fear overwhelmed me.

Before she could ask me if I was okay again, I vomited all over the carpet.

-----------------------------------------

Like Agent McKenna had told me, Nick was soaked, but fine. His shot had clearly missed Hunter and they had gotten into a drag out fight that ended with both of them splashing around in the ocean. While that was taking place, Aaron had appeared practically out of thin air and begun struggling with Angel. During the altercation, the hood of her sweatshirt had fallen back revealing her true identity.

Aaron might not have had a soft spot for Nick, but he still had a soft spot for his twin sister. As angry as he was to be tricked, he had only pushed Angel down on the sand and tore off down the beach. Fortunately, he ran in the direction of four waiting FBI agents. Hunter was in police custody and Aaron had been taken away by the FBI. The beach and our house were crawling with detectives. I sat on the couch with Nick; I turned my head as the body bag was carried by us. Nick’s arms were locked around me tightly. Angel was in the kitchen with Brooklyn.

“Olivia?”

I looked up to see an older agent standing in front of me. He was tanned, blonde, and incredibly handsome. His eyes were a deep cocoa brown and when he smiled he had dimples.

“My name is Michael Tanner. I’m the senior agent assigned to this case.”

He held out his hand. I reached forward and shook it; he had a firm, confident handshake. He turned and held his hand out to Nick. Nick let go of me for just a second to shake his hand, then turned his complete attention back to me.

“I want to assure you that these men won’t be bothering you again,” he said kindly. “I also want to apologize for the turn of events. We hadn’t been contacted about your meetings with the officer. We actually thought your fiancée here might have been helping his brother.”

“How could you think that?” Nick said coolly.

“Well, you gathered more information in four days than we had in months,” Michael said with a smile. “We figured you were in on it or you just got lucky.”

At that moment I heard a commotion at the door. Before Nick or I could stand up and see what was going on, my mom flew into the room.

“I was just coming by to drop off some brownies and I saw the police cars. What the hell is going on here? Are you okay? Where’s Brooklyn?”

Her eyes were wide, her face a mask of panic. I stood up; I was surprised to find that I had stopped shaking.

“It’s okay mom. Everything’s okay.”

“I saw a body bag. Nothing’s okay when a body bag’s involved. I’ve watched Law and Order and CSI. I know.”

“Everything’s fine Carrie.”

Upon hearing my mom’s name, I looked over at Agent Tanner in surprise. My mom, just now noticing that there was someone else in the room, looked shocked.

“Michael what are you doing here?”

I shook my head.

“Wait. You know him?”

My mom pointed. “He’s the guy I’ve been dating!”

I pointed at him too.

“I thought you said he worked at the grocery store!”

“That’s what I thought,” my mom said slowly, dropping her arm. She turned to glare at him. His eyes widened, he held up his hands. For a big bad FBI agent, he sure looked worried.

“I can explain.”

My mom folded her arms. I looked between the two of them. I couldn’t help but think they’d make a cute couple. Except that he lied to her. Mom hated liars.

“When this case heated up I was assigned to stay undercover in the area. I worked in a grocery store when I was younger and thought that would be the best hideout. I didn’t expect to see such a gorgeous woman coming into the store every day. When I found out you were Olivia’s mom it made it easier for me to ask you out. I was able to get to know you and keep close surveillance.”

“So you used me,” my mom said. Michael shook his head.

“No. I wasn’t using you. I was protecting you.”

I knew this wasn’t going to end well. I had done a good job of keeping mom oblivious of the whole Aaron situation. Now her boyfriend was going to rat me out. Nick pulled me back down.

Michael quickly explained the situation. My mom’s mouth got smaller and smaller as the enormity of the situation was laid out for her. She glanced down at me.

“Are you telling me,” she said slowly. “That my daughter and granddaughter were in danger?”

Michael shook his head. “They weren’t ever in real danger. As the case started to heat up I pulled in all my best men.” His voice softened. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to them. I know how much your family means to you.”

The scene made for a very twisted Disney-esque moment. I imagined little woodland critters coming out of the corners of the room and singing as the Prince declared his love for the Princess.

“Yes they do,” my mom said softly, lifting her chin proudly. She sniffed. “So, does this mean you’re leaving?”

“Actually,” Michael said. He stepped closer to her. The scene was getting weird; I wished I could turn into a pumpkin. I hadn’t seen any guy that close to my mom except my dad. I shifted on the couch; Nick put his hand on my leg to keep it from bouncing nervously. “This was my last case. I’m retiring.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure where I was going to end up, but a lovely lady told me that Tampa’s nice this time of year.”

My mom smiled. Like a school girl. It was really embarrassing.

“Really?”

Michael laughed. “Yes, really.”

The next thing I knew they were hugging tightly. I closed my eyes wondering if maybe being shot would have been the better option. Nick cleared his throat.

“Hey mom?” Nick asked loudly. I opened my left eye to see my mom looking over at Nick happily.

“Yeah?”

“Can we assume that Michael’s your date to the wedding?”

My mom pulled back and studied Michael’s face.

“Would you like to come to my daughter’s wedding? It’s in a few weeks.”

Michael grinned.

“I’d be honored.”

He kissed her hand; she beamed. Somehow I doubted she would be smiling so broadly if she knew that my upstairs carpet was soaked through with blood and her ex son-in-law had gone apeshit.

But I thought I’d save that information for another day.

Chapter Twenty Four – Once Upon a Twin – or What Went Down on the Beach (As told by Angel)

As the door closed behind me, I felt a chill creep down my spine. It was a good thing that I had dabbled in acting; I didn’t want anyone to know how truly scared I was. My hands clung to the stroller and I began to walk down the beach. The hoodie was hindering my perception. I felt as if at any moment I was going to be yanked backwards. The suspense was worse than any horror movie I had ever seen.

I tried to walk at an even pace, one that wouldn’t give away or jumpy I truly was. I gazed down the stretch of beach; my eyes zeroed in on the large trash drum where Nick said he would hide. The vision of the gun tucked into his jeans made me blanch.

In order to play up the moment as much as possible, I leaned over the stroller and checked on “Brooklyn.” Small black beady eyes peered out from under the blanket before I tucked it back up.

The beach was deserted. Nick had always relished the thought of a private strip of beach; it seemed like that was coming back to bite him in the butt. His other neighbors were spread far apart and if they were enjoying a day outside they were most likely lounging on the large yacht floating out in the ocean.

Even though Nick had prepared me for the attack, I still let out a surprised yell when I heard the heavy footsteps behind me. I took off at a run, pushing the stroller along as fast as possible. My goal was to get as near the drum as possible. As I neared it, I turned my head to look behind me. Nick had described Hunter and I knew without a doubt it was him. Liv’s ex had at least a hundred pounds on me and I had a pretty good lead. I passed the drum, feeling as if at least one thing had gone right so far.

As I passed the drum, I whirled around, my chest heaving from adrenaline. Hunter was steps away from the drum when Nick jumped out, the gun aimed. He fired off a shot.

It missed Hunter by miles, but it had served its purpose. Hunter’s focus shifted to Nick. With an angry yell, he charged at Nick. Nick didn’t have time to sidestep him; I actually heard the impact. Little clouds of sand flew up as Nick landed hard on his back. If he was hurt; he was oblivious to the pain. Nick’s strength gave him a momentary advantage and he managed to wrestle out from under Hunter’s bulk and stand. Hunter wasted no time; one moment he was on the ground and the next I saw him head butt Nick square in the stomach. They crashed into the water, fists flying.

I was so preoccupied by watching the struggle play out that I didn’t see Aaron. One minute I was alone with the stroller on the beach and the next moment there he was beside me. I let out a gasp as his hands grabbed my waist, pulling me off the beach walk into the more unstable sand.

We had often wrestled when we were younger. I had always won. Aaron was stronger than me, but he had one fatal flaw in his execution. With a simple twist of my head and hips I broke free of his lock. He was unprepared for the move. He reached out and grabbed the first thing he came into contact with.

Unfortunately that thing was my hoodie.

The hood flew away from my face. I turned around, trying to ignore the tightening of the hood strings around my neck. My eyes met Aaron’s. His eyes widened in shock. With his free hand he pulled the stroller to him. He yanked the blanket away and saw the teddy bear. A thousand unspoken things flashed across his face; his eyes sparked with fear.

“Aaron what are you doing?” I whispered. He let go of my hood. His eyes darted left and right. I could still hear Nick and Hunter splashing around in combat.

“Angel how could you?” he answered, his voice cracking.

“How could I? You’re trying to kidnap your own brother’s fiancée and daughter! And what for? Drugs?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” he said bitterly. He yanked at his hair in frustration.

I studied his face. A long jagged scar ran along his hair line. His cheeks were hollow; his eyes had a deadened remote look.

“How did you become…this?” I said. “Aaron, I want to understand.”

“It all got too big too fast,” he mumbled. “I just liked the rush of getting high. I loved the girls, the attention. It just got so I needed more. I always need more.”

He shook his head as if inner demons were screaming at him.

“I’m too deep into it to get out now. It would have been okay if it wasn’t for Cozumel. Nick got himself involved. He deserves to be punished just as much as I do.”

“Aaron, please,” I begged him. “As your sister, you just need to turn yourself in. You’ve hurt so many people. Do you realize that your wife is missing?”

“She’s not missing. She’s dead.”

“Dead?” My mouth felt like cotton.

“Aaron, what about the model in Canada?”

“How do you know about that?”

“I was there.”

He ran a hand down his face. “Fucking, shit.”

“Aaron these are human lives we’re talking about.”

“She was a crack head with a hot body. She went to the highest bidder. Just like Maile.”

I felt like I was going to vomit. I knew I was staring at my twin brother; but at the moment he seemed like an absolute stranger.

“Well, I guess we fucked up your plan. What are you going to do take me?”

He looked surprised. “What?”

“You can’t leave empty-handed. C’mon,” I goaded, stepping closer to him. “If you’re such a badass why not sell or kill off your sister? You don’t give a shit about your brother, why should you give a shit about me?”

I don’t know where I got my courage. For one ridiculous moment I felt like BJ; my emotions were overruling my common sense. I knew I couldn’t fix him and that made me beyond angry. I was out of control. My hands pushed hard into his chest. He stumbled back; a mask of rage shadowed his face.

“Angel, you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” he said. The last inch of space between us disappeared. I stood my ground. The salt of my tears burned my eyes.

“I know one thing,” I said. “I can’t believe I shared a womb with you. I wish you were dead.”

By this time I had killed a good deal of time but I still didn’t hear any police sirens and the beach was still deserted. Aaron looked at me and for one split second I saw the baby face of my cohort in crime. Then the coldness crept back in. He grabbed my arms and shook me like a ragdoll. As I struggled against him, I saw a knife strapped to his waist and a gun against his leg. For one split second, I truly did think he was going to kill me. Then all of a sudden I was airborne, falling hard on the sand. Aaron streaked across the beach. I was sure he was going to disappear into thin air again when about ten men and women dressed in black came from all directions. Aaron ran right into the path of four FBI agents. Another two were heading towards the water, guns drawn.

I sat on the sand in shock as Hunter was yanked back up onto the beach; Nick waded in the surf and sank onto the sand momentarily. He took several minutes to catch his breath and then looked around. He caught my eye.

He gave me a thumbs up, but it disappeared as we heard the sound of a gunshot from the house. Nick’s hands sank into the sand as he scrambled up. He tore off his shirt to relieve himself of some of the weight of waterlogged clothes and took off towards the house.

I couldn’t seem to find the energy to move. I watched as Hunter was handcuffed and lead down the beach. Aaron was face down on the sand being patted down. I saw an officer pulling out his knife and gun and several large bags.

“Are you okay ma’am?”

I looked up into a kind weathered face. He took out his badge and showed it to me.

“Agent Tanner, FBI. Are you okay?”

I nodded. “I’m…I’m okay.”

I burst into tears.

I had just lost my brother all over again.

--------------------------------------------

By the time I was lead to the house, the place was swarming with people. The gunshot that Nick and I had heard had come from an FBI agent. The officer Nick had gone to with information on Aaron had actually been working with him. Even with us trying to protect her, Liv had actually been in more danger than Nick and I. She sat on the couch in Nick’s embrace. She had a glazed look on her face.

“Is she okay?” I asked Nick. My voice sounded emotionless. I felt absolutely drained. He looked up and nodded. He tossed me a key.

“Brooke’s in the recording studio. Can you check on her?”

I nodded and headed through the house. The hallway to the recording studio was the only quiet place in the entire house. I unlocked the door and instantly heard the loud frightened cries. I scooped Brooklyn out of the bassinet and brought her close to me.

There’s something about the smell of baby powder and the look of pure innocence on an infant’s face that’s therapeutic. I sat in the control room and prepared a bottle of formula. Her cries disappeared as I stuck the bottle in her mouth and watched as Brooke’s eyes drooped in contentment. Her little hand rested over mine.

My head was spinning. I had known that Aaron wasn’t dead. But it hadn’t been enough. At the root of my distress was the fact that the entire Carter family had let Aaron destroy himself. Out of everyone, I felt like I carried the most blame. I should have called him more often; I shouldn’t have brushed off his requests for a visit or two. We had shared everything from birthdays to lost teeth to driver’s licenses. If I could do it all over again, what would I have changed? What would have happened if he had felt he had a place to turn?

Shoulda, woulda, coulda…

Another tear cascaded down my cheek. I knew what I had done was right. There was no other way to end the hell Nick had been living through.

So why didn’t that make me feel any better?

Chapter Twenty Five – June 19/June 20

--Olivia--

We spent the night at a hotel while crews cleaned the inside of our house from top to bottom. I had a feeling my mom was out with Michael. Angel was in the hotel room next door. The whole ordeal with Aaron had left her pretty shaken up.

“You know, I’m not overly attached to the house,” Nick said that night as he crawled into bed.

“You love that house,” I argued.

“I’m thinking we should pick out something together. I mean, we’re starting our life together as a married couple; we might as well start our life with a new home.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. I could practically feel the cold metal gun still pressed into my back. When I closed my eyes, I saw the dead officer and the pool of blood spilling out onto the floor. Unfortunately, mixed with these thoughts was the dream Nick and I had of our little one crawling up the stairs. Now the stairs in my vision had blood stains on them.

“Liv?” I could hear the worry in Nick’s voice. I opened my eyes.

“You’re right,” I said. “I don’t think I could walk to that nursery without seeing a dead body in my mind.”

Nick nodded.

“And as much as I love the beach, it’s not the safest place to raise a baby,” he added.

Nick scooted closer to me; his arms looped around me. We both looked over to see our little bundle sleeping peacefully in the bassinet.

“Is life ever going to slow down?” I thought out loud. Nick clicked his tongue thoughtfully.

“I can’t imagine anything else that could happen that would throw me for a loop,” he said.

I couldn’t argue with that. I snuggled closer to his chest and tried to relax. Without saying a word, we had both left on a small nightlight. Yet, even with the soft yellow light illuminating the dark corners, it still took me a long time to fall asleep. When I did, my dreams were plagued with unsettling thoughts of gunshots and Brooklyn being taken from my arms. Several times I jolted awake just to find Nick watching me.

“You need to sleep,” I finally whispered as I woke up for the fifth time. It was three o’clock in the morning.

“I’m fine,” he answered. “Just rest.”

--------------------------------------

I gave up on sleep by seven o’clock in the morning. Nick had showered and shaved. He was sitting at the little table in our room, holding Brooke. I wrapped my arms around my knees, watching them for a few minutes. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable; in fact it felt nice. After a few seconds it dawned on me that in the hellish events of the day before I had forgotten something extremely important.

“Nick,” I said softly. “Yesterday was Father’s Day.”

Nick laughed quietly. “I know.”

“I forgot. I’m sorry”

“We were a little distracted. Besides, every day for me is Father’s Day.”

He flashed me a gorgeous, proud smile. “And I have you to thank. I wouldn’t be able to celebrate without your hard work.”

I felt a rush of feminine pride. Nick glanced lovingly down at Brooke.

“Plus, the greatest gift I could ever get is to know that the two of you are safe.”

He walked to the bed and leaned down for a kiss. I happily obliged. As he pulled away, there was a knock on the door. Nick gently put Brooke in my arms and walked over to the door. He paused for a moment, looking through the peephole, and then opened the door. It was Angel.

“Hey guys,” she said quietly. Her eyes were red-rimmed. She looked like she hadn’t slept a wink.

“Hey Angel,” Nick said. He hugged her tightly. When she pulled away she tried to force a smile.

“Listen, I just came to give you a head’s up. Media is swarming all over the lobby.”

“You’re kidding.”

“It’s all over the news this morning. My cell phone has been ringing off the hook. Yours hasn’t?”

“We turned our phones off,” Nick admitted.

I turned on the TV. Sure enough, the Today Show was running the story. Pictures of the house, the police tape, and photographs of Aaron flashed across the screen. Finally, the picture of Nick and I taken by People magazine before Brooklyn was born was shown. The story’s headline scrolling along the bottom read: “Brotherly Love? Former tween sensation Aaron Carter arrested in human trafficking plot involving older brother, Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, his fiancée, and daughter.”

“Perfect,” Nick said tonelessly. He walked over to the window and peeled back the curtain. He groaned.

“There’s got to be fifteen news vans out there.”

“Do you want me to go down and give a statement on the family’s behalf?” Angel asked. Nick looked at her and shook her head.

“Angel, you’ve done enough. I can’t ask you to do that. I’ll just call my publicist and release a statement through her. Sit down, we just ordered breakfast.”

Angel came and sat down with me on the bed. She leaned over and kissed the top of Brooke’s head.

“I can’t thank you enough,” I said quietly. Nick leaned against the wall and then slid down into a sitting position, his phone pressed to his ear.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Bull,” I said. “This has to be harder on you than anyone else. He’s your twin. I can’t even begin to fathom how hard it was to lead him into a trap.”

Angel’s bottom lip quivered but she took a deep breath and regained control.

“The man I dealt with yesterday isn’t the Aaron any of us used to know,” she said quietly. “He’s gone. In my mind that Aaron truly did die jumping off the lighthouse in Cozumel.”

She began to cry. Juggling Brooklyn’s weight, I reached over with one free arm and squeezed her. After several minutes she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’m done,” she said. “We’re moving on.” She looked at me and smiled. “We still have a wedding to get through. You’re still marrying my brother right?”

I glanced over at Nick. He was picking his toenail as he talked. I smiled.

“Absolutely.”

---------------------------------------------------

The rest of the day was a giant blur. Nick and I both came to the conclusion that we couldn’t stay at the hotel for any length of time. We needed someplace that had a larger refrigerator and room for Brooklyn’s stuff. It was amazing how much stuff a baby needed. We had already gone through three outfits, numerous bottles, and an indeterminable amount of diapers.

Luckily, Nick had his “people” on the case and I had Angel. Angel had wheeled Brooklyn’s bassinet to her room so that we could make phone calls without interruption. Nick’s publicist had issued a statement regarding the Aaron incident that was now being shown on all the news channels. The house was off limits because of its crime scene status, but after calling and talking to Michael, I arranged for Brooklyn’s nursery furniture and clothing to be taken out. Having an FBI agent as my mom’s boyfriend had its perks.

“Where does it need to go?” Michael asked.

“Hold that thought,” I said, cupping the phone. Nick was on his cell talking with yet another contact. He looked up.

“Michael wants to know where to take the crib.”

“”Give me one second,” Nick said. He listened to the voice on the other end of the line for a few more moments and then looked back over at me.

“53215 Sugar Crest Road.”

I gave Michael the address and hung up. Nick finished his phone call not long after and fell backwards on the bed. His eyes crossed as he looked upside down at me.

“What’s 53215 Sugar Crest Road?”

Nick smiled. “Temporary housing. Leigh hooked me up through her contacts at the brokerage office.”

“That fast?”

Nick grinned and flipped over on his stomach. “Team Backstreet moves fast.”

“Team Backstreet? Is that like Team Edward or Team Jacob?”

He laughed. “I’m so Team Jacob.”

“You would be.”

“Hey, Team Jacob’s much cooler. Seriously, who would want to be a sparkling vampire when you could rip people’s throats out with your claws and fangs? Plus you get tight abs with natural genetics. I’d love to not have to work so hard to be this good-looking.”

I looked at him like he was crazy. He belched.

“That was the most narcissistic thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh, so you’re Team Edward?”

I groaned loudly. Nick laughed.

“Right now I’m Team Howie. Anyone that gets us out of here is amazing in my book.”

Nick crawled up to me. His hands snaked around my waist and I fell back into the pillows. A second later his nose was practically touching mine.

“You’re not Team Nick?” he asked softly.

Now, let me tell you from experience: it’s hard not to be on Team Nick when you’re staring right into his eyes and his hands have slipped under your shirt. I bit my lip as his fingertips gently circled my breasts.

“Absolutely not,” I said shakily. “Can’t stand the guy.”

“Really?”

I nodded, but his head dipped; I felt his lips drawing on my neck underneath my ear. My right hand pressed against his hip as if he were an anchor that I desperately needed to hold onto.

“Maybe I can change your mind,” he murmured as he licked and nipped. He tugged the sleeve of my shirt down to reveal a bare shoulder. I felt his teeth gently graze my skin. His hands worked their way from my breasts to my back. Before I knew it, my hips were raised and my pants were off.

“Seems like I remember someone getting a Team Nick tattoo,” he teased. I never thought toothpaste could be sexy, but the lingering smell of spearmint was driving me nuts.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said breathlessly. He grinned. Before I could stop him, his strong arms flipped me over. My face landed into the soft pillow; I felt the back of my shirt lift up and his fingers trail across the tattoo. I propped myself up on my elbows and with a slight wiggle, I let the shirt slide over my head. His hands gripped my bare waist and I could hear his breathing speed up as it always did before we made love. As I turned to look over my shoulder, I saw Nick strip off his shirt. He had nothing on Team Jacob; I could crack egg shells on his chest. As my eyes trailed up from his chest, I met his gaze and I froze. At that moment I felt like Little Red Riding Hood; Nick was the Big Bad Wolf.

And something told me I was about to be eaten.

Chapter Twenty Six - June 23

Whoever thinks planning a wedding is hard should try getting last minute wedding things done and try to get settled into a new place. When Nick had mentioned temporary housing, I had pictured a small little two bedroom house. What I hadn’texpected was a house where you had to ring in at a gate to get in and a pool large enough to be home to the U.S. Olympic swim and dive teams.

“Not bad,” Nick had said lightly as he lifted Brooklyn out of her car seat. The paparazzi were stuck about a mile and a half back at the gate.

“Not bad?” I had repeated. “This place is huge.”

As we walked inside, I was immediately reminded of the place Nick used to film House of Carters. Nick seemed to echo my thoughts.

“It’s a little much, isn’t it?” Nick finally said. I nodded.

“Well, it’s only temporary,” he added.

With the help of my mom and Michael we managed to get Brooklyn’s nursery, her clothes, and some of our own clothes brought over. The only thing missing was my car.

“I’m sorry, it’s going to be a few more days,” Michael said apologetically. “We’re making sure nothing’s been tampered with and it’s okay to drive.”

“It better not have been tampered with,” I said with a sigh. I loved my car. It had been my Valentine’s Day present from Nick. Plus, it was yellow.

Luckily, on the third day of our relocation, I stood at the door watching as Michael pulled up in my Nissan Pathfinder. He unrolled the window as I ran up to the car.

“So it’s okay?” I asked. He grinned.

“I wouldn’t be driving it if it had a bomb strapped to it,” he said lightly. He got out and handed me the keys. I couldn’t hide my happiness; I hugged him tighly.

“Thank you,” I said. He smiled down at me. He was as tall as Nick. In fact, he looked a lot like Nick if Nick was almost sixty and had brown eyes.

“No problem. If you need anything else let me know, okay?”

I nodded. “Do you need a ride back?”

He shook his head. He turned and I followed his gaze. My mom was literally creeping up the driveway in what I assumed was Michael’s car. I could see how tightly she was gripping the wheel.

“She hates driving in Tampa,” he mused. I nodded.

“Traffic’s not her thing.”

“Obviously long driveways aren’t her thing either.”

We laughed as she braked hard to a stop. She scrambled out of the car like it was on fire.

“Hi mom,” I said, trying to hide my laughter.

“Drivers are nuts here,” my mom complained. She handed Michael his keys and gave me a hug.

“You okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah we’re settled in as much as possible. I’ve only gotten lost in the house twice today.”

Mom looked at the house and shook her head. At that moment Nick came to the door with Brooklyn. Mom’s face lit up.

For the next fifteen minutes, we all played pass the baby. Finally, I looked at my watch and glanced at my mom apologetically.

“I’ve got to go,” I said.

“Where are you going?”

“I have a hair appointment.”

“For the wedding?”

I nodded. “Yeah they’re going to recolor it and then we’re going to play around with style.”

Mom smiled. “Can I come?”

As much as I love my mom, she was a nightmare at the hairdressers. But, she was the mother of the bride and she had already been left out of helping me pick out my wedding dress.

I nodded. “Sure.”

I gave Nick and Brooke a hug and kiss goodbye. Michael shook Nick’s hand and gave me a hug before getting into his car. Before he pulled away he rolled down his window.

“We still on for tomorrow night?” he asked my mom. She beamed and nodded. With a grin and a wave he turned his car around and headed off down the driveway.

“Geesh, mom. I’m going to have to schedule months in advance if I ever need you to babysit,” I teased. She rolled her eyes.

“It’s not like that,” she said lightly.

“Hmm. So you still like him now even though he’s packing a gun?”

Mom laughed. “He’s a nice guy.”

I drove the mile and a half down the drive and buzzed myself out. As I turned onto the street, I glanced over at my mom. She had a dreamy look on her face.

“You know he kind of looks like Nick. He’s got that tan, blonde, tall thing going on.”

Mom blushed. “That’s ridiculous. He has brown eyes.”

“Well three out of four ain’t bad.”

We both laughed.

-------------------------------------------------------

“So we’re doing an all over color and then we’re going to figure out a style. Right?”

I nodded. My stylist was in her late twenties, extremely short, and had one of those smiles that looked like she was trying way too hard.

“What color are you going with?” my mom asked.

“I’m going with just an all over natural dark brown.”

“No blonde highlights?”

“No.”

“But you look so good with highlights.”

I tried not to roll my eyes. “Mom, I have no time to maintain highlights. Maybe when Brooke’s, oh I don’t know, fifteen, I’ll have time to take care of my hair again."

“But it’s an outdoor wedding. You should look sun kissed.”

“I’m not worried about the kiss part.”

Mom sighed. “It’s your wedding.”

My stylist showed me a book with hair samples. I picked out one as close to my natural hair color as possible.

“Alright, I’m gonna go mix this. I’ll be right back.”

She walked off towards the back and I picked up a bridal magazine. I had no idea what I wanted my hair to look like.

“You’re not going to have it all pulled up are you?” my mom asked.

“I haven’t decided yet,” I said.

“It looks so pretty down.”

“But it might be windy. I don’t want to eat hair while I’m trying to say my vows.”

Before mom had a chance to respond, my stylist came back. I returned to the magazine as she began to apply the color.

“What are you going to do with your hair for the wedding?” I asked, deciding a change of subject was in order.

“I don’t know…” my mom said thoughtfully.

“You want highlights while you’re here?”

“Oh, I’m too old for highlights.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re not too old. You need to look sun kissed.”

I saw mom’s smile in the mirror. “Where did you learn to be a smartass?”

“From you.”

“I’m proud.”

We managed to flag over another stylist and fifteen minutes later my mom’s hair was being pulled through a cap for highlighting. My stylist finished putting on my color and set the timer.

“I’ll be back to check on you in twenty minutes,” she said. She handed me another magazine.

“Feel free to mark any that look like possibilities.”

Now the one thing about bridal magazines is that most of the dresses and stylists come from either New York or Los Angeles which means that they’re always trying to stay three steps ahead on trends. As I looked at the various brides I realized that I wasn’t that concerned with being trendy. My mom leaned over at one point and tapped a picture.

“You don’t want peacock feathers sticking out of the back of your head?”

I laughed. “Shut up.”

In the back of my mind I had a teeny tiny idea of what I might want done to my hair. My dress was simple and elegant and I wanted to mimic that with my hair style. I pictured the sides of my hair pulled up in a simple twist and the rest of my hair curled softly down my back. To make it seem more “beachy” I thought we could incorporate a small white or yellow rose as well.

I was trying to figure out how to describe what I was thinking about so that there could be no mistaking, when my timer went off. It was hard to believe it had been twenty minutes already. My stylist was nowhere in sight. Mom had just walked over to the dryer to speed up her process.

I waited for a couple more minutes. Finally I stood and approached another stylist.

“My timer went off,” I said.

“Who was working on you?”

“Becky.”

“Okay, one minute.”

I returned to my seat and tapped my foot. Usually I wasn’t so antsy but something just looked wrong with the color crème. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Finally my stylist came in, a soda from McDonald’s in hand.

“Sorry, the line was wicked long.”

She picked up a goopy strand and a towel and began to rub. The look on her face was nothing compared to the look on mine.

“Why’s it blue?” I said quickly. She didn’t answer. She picked up another strand and rubbed.

“Why’s it BLUE!?” I asked again, panicking.

“We need to get you under the sink. NOW.”

Every eye in the salon was on me...except mom who was oblivious with a magazine pressed up to her face and the drier blowing in her ear. I quickly sat down at the sink and my stylist began to wash.

I tried to tell myself that this was all just a little ‘whoops’. After a little toner my hair would be a beautiful shade of dark brown and we could get on with the styling.

No harm done.

I was under the rinse longer than I had ever been in my entire life. I was hoping that was a good sign, but those hopes were shattered when I heard my mom’s voice.

“Oh my GOD! Her hair is blue.”

My stylist seemed to give up at that point. Grabbing a towel she wrapped it tightly around my head. I felt like I was doing the execution walk as we headed back to the styling chair. I sat down and as she undid the towel I let out a scream.

My hair wasn’t just blue…it was bright blue.

“How did this happen?” I screeched.

“One of the dyes must have been mislabeled,” Becky explained. I looked up at her.

“I could see it if this was just a shade or two off,” I said, my voice rising higher and higher. “But this is blue. BLUE! I’m getting married in a week and my hair is BLUE!”

“It’s okay,” she said, picking up my hair and giving it a shake. It only made my hair seem bluer.

“It’s not going to be okay until it’s dark brown,” I said. “Dry me up and let’s go.”

“I can’t dye your hair again so quickly,” she said nervously. “Your hair will fry.”

“I can’t walk around with blue hair!”

By this time my mom had gotten her own hair rinsed and was sitting there getting it blow-dried. I could have killed her. She looked sun-kissed and I looked like a Smurf.

“I can dye it again in maybe two days,” Becky said. “Just two days.”

“I can’t live with blue hair for forty-eight hours,” I said miserably. Besides, I didn’t want her touching my hair. She had come highly recommended, but this wasn’t just a small mistake.

A half hour later mom and I left the salon. My mom looked fifteen years younger, I looked like a thug. My hair was wrapped up in a do-rag. I got in the car and fought back tears.

“Honey, I’m sorry,” my mom said, all teasing aside. “But, I’m sure this will work out. Remember when you dyed your own hair orange?”

I sniffled. I was fifteen and had dreams of being a blonde. I tried to go from almost black hair to blonde. For three weeks I could have given Carrot Top a run for his money. But the kids at school had thought it was cool; I was being ‘rebellious.’ I was past being rebellious.

I was a bride with blue hair.

My mom did most of the talking as I drove back to her condo. I dropped her off and she leaned back into the car.

“It’ll be fine, honey. Don’t worry.”

I gave a half-hearted wave. “Love you, mom.”

The drive home wasn’t pleasant. At one point I looked in the rearview mirror and saw a huge hunk of bright blue hair that had worked itself loose from the do-rag. I was hoping to get in the house and get my hair under a hat before Nick saw, but of course my luck was at rock bottom. I couldn’t even get up the driveway; the sight of a women in a do rag was obviously cause for concern. Before I could explain to the monitoring station, Nick’s voice came over the intercom.

“What’s with the rag? Did you go to an urban beauty shop?”

I sighed. “Nick, can you just buzz me in?”

“You look like you’re going to gun down the place.”

“Nick!”

The gate swung open and I did the slow creep up the driveway. I had no doubt that Nick would be waiting for me at the front door.

I was right. I stepped out of the car and walked up the steps, my head down. I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed the do-rag. Blue hair spilled out everywhere. Nick let out a noise somewhere between a gasp and a laugh.

“Holy shit, your hair’s blue.”

Nick tried to hide his grin. Tears sprang to my eyes again.

“What happened?”

“The hairdresser mixed my color wrong.”

“That’s an understatement.”

I felt a tear fall and begin its descent down my cheek. Nick wiped it away, his eyes softened.

“It’s not that bad,” he said. I looked at him doubtfully. He picked up a piece of my hair; I could tell he was struggling not to fall on the floor laughing.

“You look like that one hot chick from Avatar.”

“Nick…”

“Or Smurfette. I always had a crush on Smurfette.”

“Nick…”

He pulled me to him and kissed me gently.

“So does this mean we’re going to have to change our wedding colors?” he asked lightly. I couldn’t help it; I cracked a smile.

“I can get it fixed in two days.”

Nick smiled. “Good. But in the mean time…I’ve never slept with a Smurf. You game?”

“There is absolutely no way I’m sleeping with you with blue hair.”

Nick grinned. The man loved a challenge. “No way?” he repeated. I backed up towards the stairs, shaking my head. He followed me, walking like a lion stalking prey.

“Absolutely not.”

“Even if I do my sexy dance?”

I laughed. “No sexy dance.” I began to walk backwards up the stairs, keeping my eyes trained on him.

His body began to move to an invisible beat. It was the same sultry move he used on stage when they sang Incomplete. I bit my lip.

“Not going to work,” I said. I hopped up two steps.

“Oh, it’ll work.”

I shook my head, but as his ran his hand down his stomach suggestively I knew, blue hair and all, that it was going to work.

Chapter Twenty Seven - June 26

Three days later I was back to being a brunette. I had paid four times as much at a top of the line salon but I had gotten the exact results I wanted. The stylist I had found, Flora, had even done a trial run of my style for the wedding. I cried when she was done, but unlike my experience with Becky, they were good tears.

On the day after my return to the world of normal hair color, I woke up expecting to feel pretty content. We had defeated our dark forces, my hair felt soft, and my wedding was in six days. The cherry on top was that Brooklyn had slept eight straight hours for the very first time.

Unfortunately, I woke up feeling grumpier than I had in a long time. My body hurt like I had just run a marathon. Nick was still asleep; his arm hung loosely around Bitsy who was snoring right into his face. I headed into the bathroom and took a shower. I let the water run cold before getting out.

As I was brushing my teeth, all of a sudden I felt the metallic taste of blood invade my mouth. I quickly spit, but the water was clean. I rinsed and gargled, but the taste still lingered.

Nick was still sleeping as I got dressed for the day. I couldn’t help but think that the events of the last week must have finally hit him. I let him snore softly and went to check on Brooklyn.

She wasn’t asleep. The moment I walked through the door I heard her babbling and cooing away to herself. She “talked” more than any baby I had ever met. I walked up to the railing and leaned over. Her blue eyes met mine; she smiled.

“Hey little girl. Did you have a good night?”

She let out a shriek. Her legs kicked up and then back down. She was like a little coil of energy just waiting to be unleashed.

I scooped her up and we did our usual routine of feeding, burping, and changing. I headed down to the living room. Usually I put her in her swing while I fixed breakfast, but this morning I felt like I couldn’t eat a bite. The taste in my mouth was making me nauseous.

Trying to keep myself distracted, I laid out one of her soft pink blankets on the wooden floor and put her down on her back. I pulled out a few of her puppets. Her eyes widened as they danced in front of her face. My inner librarian couldn’t help but begin to act out a little story with the puppets, written, produced, and directed by me. I got so absorbed in the story and the happy look on Brooklyn’s face that I forgot how queasy I was.

“And Mr. Cow said ‘Moooooo-ve over chicken!’ And Mr. Chicken said ‘It’ll cost you a bawk-bawk-bawk’!”

“That was really corny.”

I looked up to see Nick at the foot of the stairs. He was standing there clad in his underwear and he was holding my camera. He was recording; I had no idea how long he had been standing there.

“Shut up,” I said with a laugh as he walked over. He knelt down next to Brooke and zoomed the camera in on her.

“Is mommy a silly lady?” Nick asked. Brooke laughed.

Then she did something unexpected.

She rolled over.

“Oh my god!” Nick said. He dropped the camera.

“Did you get that?” I asked.

“I don’t know! I hope so.”

I looked down at Brooke. A second ago she was on her back, now she was cooing happily on her stomach.

She had been rocking side to side for about a week now, but I hadn’t expected for her to just one day whip over like she had been doing it all her life. Nick picked up the camera and hit replay. I scooted close to him. Keeping one eye on the real deal and one eye on the screen I watched the footage. Nick had caught it on tape. I laughed.

“That is so cool,” I said.

“Our daughter’s brilliant,” Nick said proudly.

I laughed. Nick picked Brooke up and flipped her back over on her back. A few minutes later she rolled back over on her stomach.

“I could do this all day,” Nick said.

I was just about ready to advise him that treating his daughter like a roly poly might not be such a good idea when I heard my cell phone ring. I got up, hopped over Nick, and picked the phone up from the end table.

“Hello?”

“Liv, it’s Leighanne. Everything okay?”

“Hey Leigh. Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Brian and I saw the whole thing about Aaron on the news. We couldn’t believe it. Well, Brian could believe the part about Nick falling into the ocean, but other than that…”

I sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

“Is everything still on schedule for the wedding?”

“Absolutely. No crazy ex-husbands or murderous family members are going to stand in our way.”

Leighanne laughed. “Okay, good to hear.”

“How are you doing?” I asked.

“I just got back from trying on the dress. So far so good. It’s a little tighter, but we got it with room to grow.”

I made my way into the kitchen and rummaged around for a mint. The taste in my mouth was getting stronger and I desperately needed to nibble on something before I puked.

“You guys getting excited?” I asked.

“Brian’s going nuts. He got this daddy book on how to raise a daughter. It’s like he’s been told he has to raise an alien.”

I laughed and looked over at Nick; he was blowing raspberries on Brooke’s tummy. I knew Brian was going to be just fine.

“If Nick can do it, Brian can.”

“I have no doubt,” Leigh said lightly.

As we talked, I managed to find a box of crackers. I took out a sleeve and took a bite. Instantly the salt seemed to do the trick.

“So Brian and I are going to drive down a couple days before the wedding,” Leighanne was saying. “We’re meeting up with Kevin and his new lady. And then of course there’s your bachelorette party.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I really don’t need one,” I said. “And Kevin has a new lady?”

“Listen, as your maid of honor I will promise you that we will keep it clean and boring. Rochelle should hate every minute. And yes, from what Brian tells me he’s head over heels in love with this girl named Addy. She lives in the small town where Kevin lives now. Something tells me she might have been part of the reason for the move.”

I laughed. “I can’t wait to meet her. And I put my trust in you that we will put the b in boring for my bachelorette party.”

I took another bite of cracker.

“Okay, the noise is driving me nuts. What are you chomping on?”

“What? Oh, crackers.”

“It’s ten o’clock in the morning.”

“Well, we don’t have a lot of food in the house.”

“Sure you’re not pregnant?” Leighanne teased.

I choked on the cracker; the dry flakes scratched down my throat.

“What?”

“Relax! I was just kidding. You’re not are you?”

I laughed nervously.

“Of course not.”

“Well, since I put us on the subject of babies. I’ve got to bring you some of the new Wylee designs that have just come through. We designed the cutest little sundress…”

As she began to talk about her new line of children’s clothes I have to admit I only half listened. My throat still hurt from choking on the cracker and my mind was still on her question.

Pregnant? Ha…

Finally, Leighanne came up for breath.

“Well, I’m just glad the three of you are okay. Brian just texted me to ask me to tell you to tell Nick he’s going to call about bachelor party plans in the next day or so. Can you give him the message?”

“Absolutely.”

“Excellent. Well, Miss Bride-to-Be, I will see you soon.”

I smiled. “See you soon. Give Baylee a kiss for me.”

“Will do. Give Brooke one for us.”

We hung up and I walked back into the living room. Nick looked over at me.

“How are things in Littrell land?”

“Good. Brian’s going to call you in the next day or so about your bachelor party.”

Nick grinned. “Excellent. Maybe it’s about the boatload of strippers.”

I raised an eyebrow. He laughed. “Just kidding. Hey, I’m going to go upstairs and put on some clothes. Want to take Brooklyn patrol to make sure she doesn’t roll under a couch and out the door?”

I grinned. “I think I can handle that.”

Nick pinched my bottom affectionately as he passed me. I sat down on the couch. Brooklyn was on her stomach again. She turned her head to look at me.

“Want your binkie?” I asked, picking up the pacifier from the blanket. Her little lips parted as I stuck it in her mouth. She began to suck happily.

Seeing that she was content, I grabbed my laptop that I had left lying on the couch the night before. I had been up late e-mailing Valeria with the final, final seating chart arrangements. As soon as the Internet booted, I went straight to Google.

I’m not one to be a hypochondriac, but as the salt from the crackers faded I still had that disgusting taste in my mouth. I did a search for “metallic taste in mouth and nausea” and hit ‘Search’. I quickly ruled out any medications because I wasn’t taking any medications. I got to the bottom of the first page and looked at the related searches.

Three of them included the word pregnancy.

I exhaled heavily. There wasn’t any possible way, right? We had been careful…most of the time. We hadn’t been careful for the last week, but that wouldn’t have mattered. Before then, we had been diligent. I always had a condom at the ready…

Except for the night on the stairs when I had practically ripped his clothes off with my teeth. I vaguely remember him starting to get up and saying that he needed to get…but I hadn’t let him go.

But that was just one time.

Then I remembered that Brooklyn had been the result of our first time. All of a sudden my nausea seemed to intensify. I sat on the couch staring ahead at absolutely nothing, letting the possibility sink in.

“Hey Liv? You want to go out for lunch?”

“Liv?”

I was surprised to see Nick standing beside me. He smiled.

“Hey, you were thinking awful hard. Hopefully it was about me.”

“What?”

Nick laughed. “I asked if you wanted to go out for lunch, space cadet.”

I licked my lips.

“Why don’t I go through the drive through and bring lunch back here?” I asked. “That way we won’t have to drag Brooke out. It’s so hot today.”

I don’t know where all of my words came from. In the back of my mind my only thought was that I needed to get a test and then have a good laugh when it came back negative.

“Alright. You want to go to Carl’s Jr.?”

“Sure thing.”

I closed the lid on my laptop and went around gathering my keys and purse. Nick sprawled out on the floor by Brooklyn. He flipped on the TV to Cartoon Network.

“Get me a jalapeno chicken sandwich,” Nick called out.

“Okay. I’ll be back soon.”

I got into the Pathfinder and slid on my sunglasses. As I drove into downtown I also put on my do-rag from my blue-haired caper. I felt stupid going incognito, but the paparazzi was still roaming around and the last thing I needed was them to find me buying a pregnancy test at the drugstore. I could see the headlines now – “Nick Carter’s fiancée having brother Aaron’s love child!’ or something equally ridiculous.

I pulled up to a Walgreens and walked inside. Because of the extreme heat, more people were looking at me because I was wearing the bandana. With a mild curse I took it off and stuffed it in my pocket. I did a nonchalant stroll through the store. When no one was looking I dodged into the family planning aisle.

I didn’t waste time to compare and contrast. I grabbed the first box I saw and headed towards the counter. Along the way I bought a bag of chocolate covered raisins and a pair of flip flops. That was the best way to make sure the test didn’t stand alone, right?

There was only one person in front of me in line when I made my way to the register. An extremely bored teenage boy was cashier. I quietly said a thank you prayer. A bored teenage boy would care less about someone else’s purchases.

Unfortunately, after the boy rang up the guy in front of me, there was a shift change. A little old lady took his place behind the counter. I could just tell this was going to be trouble. Little old ladies are notoriously nosy.

“Good day dear,” she said as I made my way up.

“Good afternoon,” I said. She scanned the raisins.

“Oh, I just love these. Haven’t had them in years. Diabetes, you know.”

I nodded in understanding. My foot began to tap. She grabbed the flip flops.

“I don’t know how you young ones keep these things on your feet. I’d break a hip if I tried to walk in these.”

I cracked a little smile. She grabbed the test.

“Oh, well look at you! I hope you get the answer you want sweetie,” she said, waving the box in the air. I stifled a groan and just nodded. I swiped my card before she even gave me the total. By this time the line had gotten to be several people long and I was sure that me, my flip flops, and my pregnancy test had given everyone a good show.

I took the receipt and mumbled a ‘thank you.’ By the time I got to the car I was sweating like a pig.

The power of suggestibility has an amazing effect on the human body. As I sat in the car I could almost feel my boobs start to hurt and the little tugs in my stomach.

“You’re crazy, you’re crazy,” I muttered to myself as I backed out and headed towards Carl’s Jr.

Everybody in the nearby vicinity must have had a craving for one of the six dollar burgers. I waited in the steaming car as everyone inched along. By the time I got up to the order speaker I was practically ready to scream.

“Can I take your order?”

I ordered Nick’s chicken and even though I had sworn I would never eat lettuce again, I got a cranberry apple walnut chicken salad. If Kim Kardsashian could eat it and still look amazing, why couldn’t I?

Fifteen minutes later I got my bag and pulled away from the fast food circus. I cranked the air conditioner up full blast on the way home. Finally, I reached the gate and was buzzed in. As I drove up the driveway, I stuffed the Walgreens bag in my purse.

I must have been gone longer than I realized because the minute I unlocked the front door, Nick was there like a dog that had just heard the shake of his food bag. I handed over the Carl’s Jr. bag and he looked in, inhaling the scent.

“I just put Brookey down for a nap,” he said.

“She must be going through a growth spurt if she fell asleep already. She slept eight hours.”

Nick smiled. “I know. Lucky us.”

He sat down at the table and began to unload the bag. I missed having our kitchen island. I loved sitting on a bar stool and being able to swing my feet inches off the ground. And Nick was so tall that he actually looked kind of funny sitting at a normal table.

“C’mon. Sit your butt down and eat your salad,” Nick said. “I can’t believe you’re eating lettuce. Again.”

I smiled and sat down across from him. I really wanted to just run to the bathroom and get it over with, but instead I opened the lid to my salad.

For the next few minutes the sound of fries being folded in half and eaten came from Nick’s end of the table while the crisp stabbing of lettuce came from mine. After taking a large sip of his soda, he drummed his fingers on the table.

“You okay? You don’t look so hot.”

“What?”

“You look like you don’t feel good.”

That wasn’t what I needed to hear. I forced a smile.

“I’m fine. I’m just preoccupied.”

Nick smiled knowingly. “Are you getting nervous about the wedding?” he chided.

I swallowed hard. The apple tasted like crap. “Yeah, a little.”

Liar, liar.

“Me too. Not because of the actual marriage part,” he added. “There’s just so many rules to remember. It’s going to be as bad as learning a new dance routine.”

I laughed. “It’s okay if you break the rules. I won’t tell.”

He leaned over the table and kissed me. I could taste the jalapeno on his lips; mine burned for a moment. He laughed.

“My kisses are hot, baby.”

A few minutes later I tossed the last little remnants of my salad in the trash. After wiping down the table I headed towards the bathroom.

“Where you going?” Nick asked, heading back to the couch.

“I gotta pee,” I said. I wasn’t lying.

I had just reached the bathroom door when Nick called down the hall to me.

“Well let me know if it’s positive or negative, alright?”

I turned around and headed back down the hall. Nick was sitting on the couch.

With my laptop open.

“You forgot to clear your Google search,” he said more seriously. I blanched. His face softened.

“Do you really think you are?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to be?”

“I…don’t know.”

“Are you going to castrate me if you are?”

I cracked a small smile. “No.”

“Okay, good. Now go pee so we can freak out together.”

I took a deep breath. I almost felt better now that he was in on the secret.

“Will do,” I said.

As I sat down on the toilet, holding the stick, I couldn’t help but think that I was minutes away from yet another possible life changing revelation.

Just days before, I had asked Nick if he thought life was ever going to slow down.

At the moment, I was pretty sure the answer was a resounding NO.

Chapter Twenty Eight

When I was married to Hunter, I had been on a first name basis with negative pregnancy tests. With Brooke there wasn’t even a little stick. Our confirmation had come in the form of an ultrasound blip on the screen.

“Liv?” Nick asked, tapping on the door. I had just flushed and set the stick on the counter.

“Yeah?”

“Did you take it?”

“Yup.”

“Well?”

“ I don’t know.”

“Can I come in?”

Hunter had never wanted to come in. He just waited in the living room watching TV. When I came out and told him it was negative he would just sigh and tell me that I must be doing something wrong. I opened the door and peered out at Nick.

“Can I come in?” he repeated.

I nodded. I stepped back and he entered the bathroom. We both stood there staring at the little stick on the sink.

“So how long does it take?”

“Three to five minutes.”

“How long has it been?”

“About two minutes.”

Nick stuck his hands in his pockets. Then he took them out and cracked his knuckles.

“How bout now?”

“About fifteen seconds later than the last time you asked.”

Nick rubbed the back of his neck.

“We’ve been pretty careful,” he said slowly.

“Pretty careful,” I agreed.

“Of course there was that one night…” he said, trailing off. “On the stairs.”

I felt myself blush.

“Yeah, there was that one time.”

“That was an amazing night.”

Nick took my hand. I looked up at him. He smiled.

“Liv, stop worrying. No matter what it’s going to be okay. We’ve done a pretty good job at this parenting thing so far.”

“But, they’d be just a year apart,” I said numbly.

“BJ and I are less than two years apart,” Nick said.

I wanted to remind him that BJ was a little crazy. Sure, she wasn’t as crazy as Aaron, but she was so…sensitive. Then for one crazy moment I was reminded of the conversation I had with Angel less than a month ago. I remembered what I had told her word for word – ‘I wouldn’t mind adding a little boy to the mix.’

It looked like those words might be coming to bite me in the butt.

Nick smiled.

“You know, the guys will never let me hear the end of this,” Nick said lightly.

I closed my eyes. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. The alarm on my cell phone went off.

“Time?” Nick asked. I nodded.

“Time.”

We both took a step closer to the counter. I was glad that he had come in. I was a notorious peeker. He had kept my mind occupied. I picked the stick up and looked down at the screen.

It was a very clear negative.

I was waiting for Nick to say something like ‘Thank God’ or ‘Phew, we dodged a bullet,’ but he sank down on the edge of the tub and looked at me.

“Guess we’ll have to try harder,” he said lightly. I must have looked at him in shock because he laughed, leaning back into the shower curtain.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he said with a chuckle.

I sank down on the toilet lid, still holding the stick. Nick’s smile faded.

“Liv, are you okay?” he asked seriously.

“I’m fine,” I said softly. “I just feel stupid.”

Nick looked incredulous. “Why?”

“For even thinking…” I waved the stick in the air.

“Don’t feel stupid. It could have happened. When I’m with you I’m extremely lazy in the protection department.”

I smiled. “Gee, I don’t know why.”

“Hm, maybe the fact that we’re days away from you becoming my wife?”

I laughed. “Maybe.”

“You know,” Nick said, still keeping the smile on his face. “I am a little disappointed.”

My eyes widened. “ Really?”

He nodded. “I mean, I don’t want a huge gap in age between kids. Two or three years, y’know?”

I nodded; I felt the same way. “I agree. That way they can relate to each other.”

“Exactly. But by that time we’re going to be smack dab in the middle of our world tour for the new album. I mean I’m up for the challenge but…it’s easier to get alone time at home.”

I smiled. “I know that first hand.”

“Plus you’re a gorgeous mommy-to-be.”

“You just like prego sex,” I teased. He laughed.

“I do. You look cute with a little round belly.”

“I had a huge round belly.”

With a smile I tossed the stick in the trash can.

“Our little secret?” I asked. He nodded.

“Absolutely. But next time don’t hesitate to tell me, okay? I don’t care if there’s a thousand false alarms; I want to be sitting in the bathroom with you for each and every one.”

I smiled. “Deal.”

We both leaned forward and met with a kiss.

I felt good that another crisis was averted. I definitely wanted more children with Nick…

But I also wanted to enjoy my wedding and honeymoon without needing a barf bag at the ready.

---------------------------------------------------

“So Sam will be here tomorrow,” I reminded Nick. “I offered up one of the guest rooms.” We were on the couch again; Nick was sprawled across the entire length of it with his head in my lap. My laptop was teetering on the edge of his head.

“Is he going to your bachelorette party too?” Nick asked with a smile. I rolled my eyes.

“No, he’s not. Leighanne already promised me it will be clean. I think Sam prefers more excitement.”

“Well, Brian’s throwing mine so I shouldn’t have to worry either,” Nick said his smile transforming into a full out grin. “And I know mine will be alcohol free too. Do I have to worry about you getting any more drunk tattoos?”

“I’m not drinking,” I said. “Ever again.”

Nick chuckled. “We’re having a glass of champagne at the wedding.”

“I know. But other than that...”

Nick’s legs stretched out even farther; his heels were hanging well over the end of the couch.

“Speaking of our parties…my mom offered to babysit.”

My fingers paused over my keyboard. “Your mom?”

Nick nodded. “She’s feeling guilty for putting all her trust in Aaron and blaming me. Plus she’s convinced we’re keeping Brooklyn away from her.”

I sighed. In all honesty I probably was pulling a little bit of a sheltering act.

“What did you tell her?” I finally asked.

“I told her she could babysit as long as she came here to watch her.”

“Will she get mad if I call and check in?” I asked. Nick smiled.

“If she does, she’ll get mad at me too. I’m going to be checking in several times.”

Even though Jane wouldn’t have been my first choice, I couldn’t say no. Nick seemed to be waiting for my approval. I gave him a reassuring smile.

“Okay. That’s fine with me.”

Nick’s attention returned to the TV; I went back to my laptop. Out of habit I went onto Nick’s Twitter. I smiled as I saw no less than three tweets about Brooklyn’s vast intelligence and her new found ability to roll over. I glanced over at his fan counter.

“Hey Nick, do you realize you’ve hit 100,000 fans?”

His arm shot up and reached for the laptop.

“Really?”

For the last six months he had been stuck at ninety nine thousand. Every other day or so the count would inch up; but he had been on a quest for a hundred thousand fans for a long time. In fact, last summer we thought he was going to make it without a problem. By the end of July he had almost reached ninety eight thousand.

“Damn. I’m at one hundred two thousand!” he said. “Sweet!”

“What’s the surprise?”

“What surprise?”

“You promised a surprise once your Twitter reached 100,000 fans,” I reminded him. He looked confused for a moment.

“Oh. I hadn’t thought of what I’d do.”

“I think you should take one of the BSB songs and spoof it to commemorate your achievement.”

Nick grinned. “I do spoofs well.”

“I know you do.”

“Instead of I Want it That Way I could sing I Love my Twitter,” Nick said thoughtfully. “Maybe I could work in some of the stupid stuff I’ve posted. And hey, I could make fun of Brian’s chirps!”

“And the fact that AJ hasn’t updated his status in 132 days,” I said wryly.

“And how Howie still sometimes calls it twitting instead of tweeting,” Nick added.

Nick handed me my laptop and rolled off the couch.

“What are you doing?”

Nick rummaged along the bottom of our coffee table. “I need paper and a pen.”

I raised an eyebrow; he turned and looked at me with the face of a serious artiste.

“It’s going to be a long night, Liv,” he explained.

“You and I are going to write a masterpiece.”

I couldn’t help but smile. The timing was excellent and I had come up with the perfect idea. What better way for Sam to prove himself than to start by recording Nick’s Twitter thank you to his fans?

I just wouldn’t mention that part of the plan until tomorrow.

Besides, Nicky Nick and I had a lot of work to do.

Chapter Twenty Nine - June 27

Sam arrived the next day around noon. I had spent the morning convincing Nick that he should probably wear something besides his pajama bottoms.

“Why?” Nick asked.

“Because,” I said. “You didn’t wear pajama bottoms when I auditioned for my job.”

Nick grinned. “Oh, so you’re saying that if I was dressed like a slob you wouldn’t have taken the job?”

I blushed. “That’s not my point.”

Nick laughed. “Well to make you happy, I will go put on my big boy clothes.”

I smiled. “Thank you.”

I waited until the last minute to change Brooklyn. She had developed a case of the sniffles that I prayed wouldn’t develop into a full blown cold. I wiped the little snot bubbles from her nose as I picked out a sundress to put her in. Leighanne had also found some packs of limited edition denim diapers and sent me a couple.

In the world of babies, having denim disposable diapers was the fashion statement.

“You ready to meet mommy’s friend?” I asked her.

She blew me a giant raspberry before shoving her fingers in her mouth. She was so cute; I just wanted to eat her up. I scooped her off the changing table and headed into our bedroom. Nick was standing in the closet stark naked.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m trying to decide what to wear.”

“And you’re naked why?”

Now believe me, Nick doesn’t need a reason to be naked around me, but the fact that Sam was due at the house in less than twenty minutes was making me a little antsy.

“I figured if I’m going to get all snazzy I better change my drawers too. But now I can’t find where I put the new ones I bought.”

“Why don’t you just put on clean ones?”

“I’ve pulled an AJ. All my old ones are dirty so I just bought new ones.”

“Nick, I do laundry three times a week. Why don’t they make it in the basket?”

“I don’t know!” he said, throwing up his hands.

I felt weird holding Brooklyn while Nick was naked. I know she’s still a baby, but still...

“Let me put Brooklyn down in the nursery and I’ll come back and help.”

Nick was already on his knees looking under pair after pair of sneakers.

“Okay.”

I headed back into the nursery. Brooklyn began to cry as I lowered her into the crib.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. Daddy’s naked and he’s lost his underwear.” It sounded even weirder when I said it out loud. “Mommy will be right back.”

I kissed her forehead and turned on the mobile. Then I headed back into the bedroom. I stepped into the closet and began to rummage through shelves and drawers.

“Wait, I think I remember where I put them!” Nick finally said. His bare arms shot around me from either side. I was pinned against his naked body. He yanked open a drawer that had various hats, chains, and sunglasses and yanked the package out from the very bottom.

“I knew I’d remember eventually,” he said proudly.

I turned around and wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt the package of underwear press against my back. Nick grinned.

“So do we have time for a little nookie?” Nick asked hopefully. “I mean, we’ve already saved time. I’m already naked.” I rolled my eyes. The sound of the doorbell rang up from the main floor. My eyes widened.

“Oh crap, he’s here!”

I ducked out of Nick’s embrace and ran out of the bedroom before Nick could say another word. I scooped Brooklyn out of her crib and jogged down the stairs. After double checking that it was indeed Sam (even though the guys at the gate would have made sure first), I opened the door, smiling wide.

I hadn’t seen Sam in years. He had always been a good looking guy, but he seemed to improve with age. His wavy brown hair and baby blue eyes made him almost irresistible to look at. As he stood at my doorstep, he wore a pair of jeans paired with a light yellow t-shirt. He had topped it off with a black velvet jacket and a scarf. He had a photography bag slung over his shoulder. I would say that no one but a gay guy could dress that well, but that would be a lie. Leighanne did a great job keeping Brian coordinated. I was failing miserably with Nick.

“Sam!” I said happily. I hugged him with my free arm. He kissed my cheek then looked at Brooklyn.

“And this must be Brookey,” Sam said. “Hi cutie patootie.”

I daresay that Brooklyn had already begun to develop Nick’s love of the limelight. Her face lit up with a big gummy baby smile.

“Oh, she’s a doll,” Sam said. He looked at me. “You look good. Life with a Backstreet Boy seems to be doing you well.”

I blushed and laughed. “Shut up.”

I stepped back and welcomed him in. He stepped in and looked around.

“We’ve come a long way from Wakamata, Wisconsin, kid.”

I laughed. “No kidding.”

“So where’s the guy I have to impress?”

“Right here.”

Sam and I both looked over as Nick walked down the stairs. I smiled. He had his ‘hair did’ and he looked absolutely gorgeous. He had put on a dark pair of jeans, a dark grey t-shirt and a light blue dress shirt that he left open for that dressy-casual look. Around his neck I saw the chain that I had gotten him for Valentine’s Day.

I made the introductions and the guys shook hands. I didn’t waste any time breaking the ice or getting down to business.

“So, Sam, we had a huge milestone last night,” I said.

“Oh yeah?” Sam asked. “What was that?”

Nick looked at me. For one split moment I could tell that he was thinking about the pregnancy test. His brain seemed to chug along a little, but it finally caught up.

“I reached a 100,000 followers on my Twitter,” Nick said proudly.

“And he wrote a song about it.”

“That he needs videotaped,” I continued.

Sam smiled. “So does that mean I’ll have an audition tape when I go meet with the Backstreet boss?”

Nick snorted. “Howie’s so not the boss of me.”

“He’s the money man,” I reminded Nick with a grin. “He’s your boss.”

I turned to Sam. “So want to give this a shot?”

Sam laughed. “Honey, I was born boy band ready.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick had set up a makeshift studio in the basement of the house. I propped Brooklyn up on my lap as Nick fiddled with his guitar. Sam was already recording.

“This is going to be an acoustic performance,” Nick explained. “I want to thank each and every person who clicked that Follow button. This is for you.”

You are the best fans
You followed with those hands
A strong 100,000 hitters
I love my Twitter

And we are two worlds apart
But you touched my heart
So I say
I love my Twitter

Tell my why
AJ never updates
Tell me why
Brian always chirps
Tell me why
I always want to hear you say
Nick Tweet-ed, oh yay!

Now I can see that we’re growing some more
From the time that I recorded this song, yeah
No matter the number, I want you to know
That deep down inside of me

You are the best fans
I am a lucky man
I am, I am, I am, I am…

By the time Nick finished the song, I was near tears from laughing so hard. Sam wasn’t far behind, but he was trying not to laugh sine he was so close to the video camera. Nick had poured his heart and soul into the song, complete with over the top facial expressions. As the last long note faded away, Nick flashed the camera an irresistible grin.

“I hope you guys liked my 100,000 follower surprise. Now, if we can get to two hundred thousand, they’ll be something even more fabulous. And look on nickcarter.net soon for more fun surprises. I’m out. Word.”

Nick flashed the “W” sign and Sam switched off the camera. I put Brooklyn’s little hands together and clapped.

“Yay, daddy!” I said. Brooklyn let out what I can only describe as an adorable giggly laugh.

Sam wiped his eyes. “That was awesome. Move over Chinese boys, Nick Carter has spoofed his own band.”

Nick and Sam did a weird high five handshake thing that I couldn’t even begin to copy.

“So, now that we’ve put you to work, why don’t you stay and have a late lunch with us? I want to know all about growing up with Liv.”

Sam looked over at me and winked. My eyes widened and I began shaking my head no.

“Oh, high school with Liv was definitely not boring. All the dirt I have will cover a lot more territory than lunch.”

“I’ve got all night,” Nick said.

I puffed out my cheeks and let out a big gust of air.

Oh boy.

Chapter Thirty

“So let’s see…high school. Do you realize it’s been ten years since we graduated, Liv?”

I was in mid-bite of my slice of cheese pizza. I chewed quickly and washed it down with some water. “Really?”

“Yeah, didn’t you get your invite to the reunion?”

I laughed. “No. Of course, I don’t think anyone has a clue where I am right now.”

“Want to go? It’s not like you have to worry about bumping into your ex,” Sam said with a little smile. “I can send you a copy of the invitation.”

I rolled my eyes. “I think I’m going to be a little busy between getting married and honeymooning and raising a baby. I think I’ll pass.”

“Aw, c’mon. Imagine the look on everyone’s face when you walk in with your husband.” Sam glanced over at Nick. Nick smiled.

“I don’t want to relive high school,” I said. “Trust me.”

“So about high school…” Nick said. Sam laughed and pointed at me. I feigned interest in my slice of pizza; I poked at the darker spots of cheese.

“Liv was the straight A student. She was part of the yearbook staff, head of the computer club, was stage crew for all of our plays, and the shyest girl you could ever meet who closeted a wicked sense of humor.”

Nick grinned. “Well, I am marrying her for her book smarts, y’know.”

I snorted. “Oh, shut up.”

“Liv and I were friends since junior high,” Sam continued. “Back then both of us were a lot pudgier than we are now. Her mom swore that we were going to grow up, marry each other, have 2.5 children, and live in the suburbs.”

I laughed. I could almost hear my mom go on and on about Sam. Each time I would tell her, ‘mom we’re just friends,’ to which she would just wink and say ‘oh, just wait until you grow up a little more.’

“Really? Did you two ever date?” Nick asked. His eyes were sparkling with amusement.

Sam shook his head. “No, by the end of freshman year I told Liv I was gay. Actually she was the first person I came out to. While her mom thought we were locked in her bedroom swapping kisses, we were really just going through issues of Tiger Beat and having intense discussions on which guy had the cutest butt.”

“I didn’t tell my mom about Sam until the end of junior year,” I added with a smile. “She was devastated.”

“Of course by that time our sweet little virgin here had her eyes set on someone new anyhow,” Sam said. The teasing tone had gone out of his voice. “Even though I told her she could do so much better.”

“Water under the bridge,” I mumbled. Nick looked at Sam.

“So I take it you weren’t part of the Hunter fan club,” Nick said lightly. Sam laughed.

“Major understatement. He would go out with other girls and flaunt them under Liv’s nose even though he knew she had a huge crush on him. She turned down three guys that asked her to senior prom because she was holding out for him. Lucky for her, I just happened to be free that night after all the other guys were taken.”

I made a face. I didn’t even want to think about anything from that time in my life. I had wasted almost a decade on Hunter.

“You didn’t go out with anyone else in high school?” Nick asked me in surprise. I looked up and met his gaze; I shook my head.

“Nope, her world revolved around that jackass,” Sam said with a sigh. “There was only one person that could have trumped Hunter Ryans.”

I looked over at him; I knew exactly where this was going. “Sam, shut up.”

Sam laughed. Nick grinned. “Who was that?”

Sam put his hand to his forehead and swooned dramatically. I grabbed his arm and started to pull it back, but he was already in his theatrical mood.

“Oh Sam, isn’t Brian Littrell the dreamiest? I would go to prom with him in a heartbeat. I’d marry that man.”

Sam began to make kissy noises. I yanked his arm hard and he stopped, but his smile was deeply etched into his face.

Nick shook his head. “Was it really that bad?”

“Did you ever see pictures of her room? It was a shrine to the Backstreet Boys.”

“No. Did she even have my picture up?”

I let go of Sam’s arm. “Of course I did!”

“Yeah, but you weren’t her favorite. She didn’t like your hair. Until about…2001, right Liv?”

I glared at Sam. I was beginning to rethink having him along for a whole tour.

“My hair?” Nick questioned. “What was wrong with my hair?”

“Remember how you used to have it?” Sam asked. “It was really long and parted down the middle. You had that bob thing going on.” Sam wrinkled his nose. “So not a good look.”

Nick looked at me and smiled. “Maybe I should grow it out like that again.”

I punched him in the arm. “Don’t start.”

“Ouch,” Nick said unconvincingly. He rubbed his arm. “Don’t hit me. I’m the one that should feel bad. After all, I am just your second choice.”

All kidding aside, I was glad that Nick didn’t take my old Brian obsession too seriously…especially considering I had slept with him. Sure I had unknowingly slept with him, but that can still bruise a guy’s ego.

“So didn’t Liv do anything crazy during high school?” Nick asked. Sam nodded.

“Yeah, there was this one time. Her mom and dad went out of town and left her alone at the house. Well, she decided to invite some of us over. Of course, some people invited other people and before Liv knew it we had half of our senior class at her house. Someone’s older brother brought over cases of beer and things got out of hand.”

Nick laughed. “Did you freak out, Livvy?”

I sighed. “No, I didn’t freak out. I got drunk. Accidentally.”

Even back in high school a lot of things happened to me accidentally. Like the orange hair. And ripping my pants while working on the set of Beauty and the Beast. I’ve never had the best of luck.

“What happened?”

“Hunter spiked her drink,” Sam said dryly. “Him and his buddies thought it would be funny. Needless to say I arrived just around the time that she dropped off the chandelier and was about ready to tear off her shirt. I think she was attempting to do a dance number to the ‘Thong Song.’”

I was waiting for Nick to laugh but he didn’t look amused. The mutual hatred society for Hunter was in full gear.

“What did you do?” Nick asked Sam.

“I dragged her off the kitchen table and told everyone the party was over.”

“Good man.”

Sam smiled. “Trust me, I had Livvy’s back. And she had mine. She introduced me to my first boyfriend.”

I grinned. “Oh yeah! Patrick. Whatever happened to him?”

“He’s an accountant in Detroit. There was no way I could see myself staying with an accountant. I desire a little more excitement in life.”

“What about now?” I asked. “Anyone special?”

Sam didn’t answer. Instead his attention turned back to Nick.

“Did I mention the time Liv tried out for pom squad?”

“Seriously, Sam,” I said. “Sometimes there are things not worth telling.”

“Which means that this is probably a good story,” Nick concluded.

Sam nodded. “Oh yeah.”

Sam launched into the story that took place during junior year. Looking back, I have no idea why I even wanted to try out for poms. Well, actually I do. First and foremost, I wanted to impress Hunter. I knew I was too fat to be a cheerleader. Secondly, I secretly coveted the spot of baton twirler on the pom squad. I loved the shiny metal rod with the streamers on either end. I also liked that the poms had a whole wardrobe. Of course I forgot two major things when I went to try out; I was (a) shy and (b) uncoordinated.

“She had practiced her tryout routine for weeks,” Sam said. “I helped her choreograph,” he added proudly. “Her number was set to Larger than Life.”

“And so I got up there and I froze. So Sam comes up and joins me just like he did in practice. I started to feel real good about it halfway through the routine and then I did a complicated number with the baton, flipping it behind my back and then leaning back to catch it,” I said, staring straight ahead as if I was seeing a replay on the wall.

“What happened?” Nick asked.

“She misjudged the velocity of the baton and it smacked into her mouth. She started to cry, but her mouth was full of blood. She had knocked out her two front teeth.”

“You’re kidding,” Nick said, his mouth falling open. I shook my head.

“Nope. I spent the most excruciating hours of my life in the dentist’s office and I missed school for two weeks,” I said.

“Well, did you at least make the pom squad?”

I looked at Nick like he was crazy.

“Nope.”

“That’s bullshit.”

I smiled sadly. “No, it’s called high school.”

“You’re just lucky I wasn’t there,” Nick said.

“She wouldn’t have given you the time of day,” Sam said. “Remember the hair?”

Nick’s eyes crossed as he looked up at his spiky hair. “Oh yeah, the hair.”

“Can we get off the subject of hair?” I said, slightly grumpily. The little bit of pizza I had wasn’t sitting well on my stomach all of a sudden. I saw Nick look at Sam.

“Hey, speaking of hair…did Liv tell you hers turned blue?”

I groaned. Sam leaned forward like an eager child ready for story time.

I got up and picked up Brooklyn.

“Where are you going?” they asked at the same time.

“I’m putting sleepy doodle down in her crib,” I explained. I left just as Nick started to describe my likeness to Smurfette.

Brooklyn gave me no trouble when I put her down in the crib. For that I was grateful. I had just tucked her in when I knew I couldn’t keep the pizza down any longer. I ran towards the bathroom and heaved. With just days before the wedding, the last thing I wanted to do was get sick.

But that seemed like just my type of luck.

Chapter Thirty One – June 29

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“I’m sure. I’ve got to go over to my mom’s and try on my dress as soon as I’m done.”

“So? I can come with you?”

“Nick, you’re not seeing my dress until the wedding.”

“Well, you can’t blame me for trying. I need to see how easy it’s going to be to get you out of it.”

I laughed; Nick leaned forward and kissed me.

“Well, I guess Brooklyn and I will just have a daddy daughter day. Y’know, cruise the town, grab a few beers…”

I rolled my eyes. ‘Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.”

Nick squeezed my hand and smiled. His voice grew gentle. “Hey, don’t be too late. This is our last day of peace before the craziness begins.”

I smiled. Our bachelor/bachelorette parties were scheduled to take place the next day. The day after that was the rehearsal dinner. And then on Saturday…

The wedding.

“I won’t be. I’ve just put off meeting this doctor too long. I might as well go and get an all clear before we take off to parts unknown. Which reminds me…where are we going on our honeymoon? I have no idea what to pack.”

Nick grinned. “You don’t need to pack anything.”

I laughed. “Nick I’m going to need to know what type of clothes to bring. Dressy, casual, short sleeve, long sleeve.”

“Who says I’m going to let you out of our room?”

I suddenly felt warm all over. I grabbed my purse and looked over my shoulder at him. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Be good this afternoon,” I said. Nick grinned.

“I’m always good.”

Didn’t I know it, I thought to myself.

---------------------------------------------------

As I sat in the waiting room of Dr. VanSynz’s office, I flipped through a magazine restless. I couldn’t help but think that it was stupid that one doctor couldn’t do it all. I liked Dr. Tresher, but she wasn’t a general practitioner. I had been lucky enough that she was an OBGYN and a pediatrician so that I didn’t have to find anyone else for Brooklyn to see. I liked that the same doctor that brought her into this world could help her grow up.

Unfortunately for me, all of my other aches and pains required that I find another doctor. So, after complaining to Dr. Tresher, she had written me a referral for Dr. Leslie VanSynz. I had made it very clear I wanted a female physician.

“Olivia?”

I looked up to see a nurse leaning in the doorway leading back to the exam rooms. I tossed the magazine down and followed her back.

“So why are you here today?” the nurse asked pleasantly as I sat up on the cold exam table.

“Oh, I’ve just been feeling under the weather,” I admitted. “I’m getting married in a couple days and I just want to make sure I’m not coming down with a bug.”

“Yeah, you don’t want to be sick on your honeymoon,” the nurse said with a smile.

“Exactly,” I said.

The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature; both were normal. She patted my chart.

“Dr. Tresher sent over some of your other information. Dr. VanSynz will be with you shortly.”

I thanked the nurse and sat there swinging my legs, feeling like a nervous five year old who was about to get a shot. Feeling antsy, I turned on my cell phone and checked my messages.

The first message was from Sam. It was a quickly written e-mail.

Interview with Howie D. went well – here’s to hoping I’ll be your roadie!

I smiled. Even though Sam had enough dirt on me to embarrass me endlessly, I still couldn’t help but think how fun it would be to have him on tour. His work was fantastic and he had a great sense of humor.

I had just put away my phone when I heard two quick knocks upon the door. I looked up just in time to see the door swing open and a short Asian lady walked into the room. She smiled at me and held out her hand.

“Hello. I’m Dr. VanSynz.”

“Olivia Ryans.” I had to remind myself that in a few short days I would be saying Olivia Carter. I prayed the doctor wouldn’t check my heart again, but just the thought made it start to race excitedly.

“So this is your first visit today. Is there anything in particular that brought you in?”

I laughed. “Well it’s silly…”

Dr. VanSynz smiled. “I don’t believe anything’s silly. What’s going on?”

“Well, I’ve just been feeling kind of crappy the last few days. Nausea, a weird taste in my mouth, body aches… I’m getting married Saturday and I really don’t want to get sick. If I’m coming down with anything I’d like to prevent it ASAP.”

The doctor flipped through my chart. “You had a baby girl in March?”

I nodded. “March 15.”

“Dr. Tresher notes everything’s been going well for you. No problems with bleeding or anything. Are you breastfeeding?”

“I was,” I said. “But Brooke had a bout of colic and the lack of sleep and everything was getting to me. Plus, we’re going to be leaving on a 10-day honeymoon so I started to supplement with formula to get her used to that change. She took to it so well that we switched all together.”

“Well, even though we recommend breast milk, we know it’s hard to keep that up,” Dr. VanSynz said. “Have you had your first period yet?”

I shook my head. “No. But if you look at my chart, that’s not so uncommon.”

She flipped through the pages and scanned the notes.

“You know it’s funny,” she mused. “A lot of times women who’ve struggled with infertility actually have better fertility after one successful pregnancy. Are you on birth control?”

I shook my head. “No, I intended on breastfeeding longer than I did and I’ve just been so busy that I haven’t gotten around to it.”

“Actually,” I continued, then paused. “I had a moment of insanity a couple days ago and took a pregnancy test. It was negative, though. So, that’s what led me to believe that I might be coming down with a cold. In fact, Brooke’s been sniffling the past couple days.”

Dr. VanSynz smiled. “Okay. Well let’s just go over a quick routine exam and see if I can see any throat or mouth irritation that might be making you feel rundown.”

Once again my temperature and blood pressure was taken. She looked in my eyes, throat, and ears. She felt my glands.

“Everything seems fine. How’s your sleep pattern?” she laughed. “Or lack thereof.”

“Brooklyn’s starting to sleep for six to eight hours,” I said. “The last week or so I feel like I’ve caught up on sleep pretty well.”

“Excellent. Well, I think the next thing we’ll do is take a blood sample. I want to double check your insulin and blood sugar levels. I can also double check your thyroid levels.” She stood up. “I’ll send a nurse in to draw a sample and I should be able to call you before the office closes tonight.”

I shook her hand. “Thank you, doctor.”

She walked out and once again I was alone in the exam room. I sighed. I hated needles. I know that everyone says the poke only hurts for a second, but that’s a second too long for me.

Ten minutes after the doctor left, a nurse came in rolling a cart set up with the needle. I feigned interest in a poster discussing heart disease as the nurse prepared my arm.

“Just a little poke,” she said. I always wished the nurses wouldn’t say that. I’d almost rather be surprised. Instead, my body tensed and I felt the sharp prick. I sucked in air hard through my teeth and began to count in my head. Finally I felt the nurse press a cotton ball into the crease of my arm and then apply a Band-Aid.

“All done!” she said cheerfully.

Even though I didn’t feel thankful, I thanked her and headed out of the office. As I walked to my car I called my mom.

“Hello?”

“Hey mom. Can I come over and try on the dress?”

“Sure. How’d it go at the doctor’s?”

“Fine. No temperature, no sore throat, no ear infection.”

“Good. The last thing I’d want is for you to be miserable on your wedding day.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I already was once. I don’t want to be again.”

Twenty minutes later and a half dozen curse words later, I pulled up to my mom’s condo. She met me at the door with a big hug.

“I’ve got to tell you, I’m getting excited,” she said happily as we both walked back into the living room.

“Would that have anything to do with a certain handsome detective being your date?” I asked. Mom laughed.

“A little, dear. A little.”

I unzipped the bridal bag and stood for just a moment looking at the dress. Every time I looked at it, I knew more and more that I had picked the perfect dress. I got into my Spanx and Mom helped me slide it off the hanger. In nervous anticipation, I slid it over my head. This was the moment of truth…

The dress slid over my hips like a gem. I let out a little gasp of delight.

I was officially a size 8.

“Oh, that’s just absolutely perfect,” mom said. “That dress was made for you.”

Gathering the material in my hands, I stepped up to the mirror. I wiggled my newly pedicured toes. I couldn’t wait to walk barefoot down the beach towards the flowered arch and Nick and know that I had finally found someone who loved me no matter what.

Without realizing it, I had begun to cry. I wiped at the tears futilely while mom procured some Kleenex. She hugged me tightly.

“I have never seen a more beautiful bride,” she said lovingly. “You’re daddy’s going to be shining a thousand smiles down on you Saturday.”

I sniffled loudly and dabbed my eyes again.

“Thank you, mom.”

We spent a few more minutes admiring the dress.

“The dress was tight last week. What happened between then and now?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t had much of an appetite lately,” I admitted. And even when I did, the stomach pains and queasiness wouldn’t allow me to do more than just pick at my meal.

“Well, as beautiful as you look, after you and Nick get back from the honeymoon I expect you to come over and eat an actual dinner,” my mom said. She helped me get out of the dress. I smiled.

“I don’t think that will be a problem. Nick will be drooling before we hit the doorstep.”

Mom laughed. I took off the Spanx and got redressed. Mom disappeared for a moment; when she returned she had a dress in her arms.

“This is what I’m wearing for the wedding,” she said.

It was a beautiful turquoise sundress with light yellow accents. A sash wrapped around the waist. The back was low cut. It was dressy and sexy, yet there was still a proper level of modesty about it.

“That’s perfect,” I assured her. “Even just eyeing it, I can tell the color will match perfectly.”

Mom smiled. “That’s what I thought too. And it’s easy to clean. Just in case Brookey spits up on me.”

I laughed. “My daughter? Spit up on you? Never!”

I spent another twenty minutes with mom, going over instructions while we were gone and teasing her a little bit about the good detective. Finally I gave her a parting hug.

“I’ll see you for the rehearsal, Friday!” mom called out. “Have fun at your bachelorette party.”

I laughed. “I will!”

Feeling better than I had for the past week, I cranked up the radio and jammed out to Nickelback on the way home. After being buzzed in, I coasted up the driveway, a smile on my face. My dress fit perfectly and the big day was almost here. Nick and I had only known each other for a little less than a year and a half, but it felt like we should have been married a long time ago.

Mrs. Olivia Carter. It sounded so good.

I had just walked through the front door when my cell phone rang. Checking the display, I recognized the number of Dr. VanSynz’s office. I walked into the kitchen to find Nick giving Brooklyn a bath. He turned around and smiled. I waved as I answered the phone.

“Hello?” I said happily.

“Olivia? This is Dr. VanSynz.”

I hadn’t expected to hear from the doctor herself. Usually a nurse called.

“Oh hello, doctor.”

“I just got back your test results,” she said. I walked up to the sink and ran my fingers along the underside of Brooklyn’s wrinkly foot. Her toes scrunched up in response. Nick flicked me with Johnson’s baby shampoo.

“All good?” I said into the phone. I felt like I had inhaled positivity potion. My wedding dress fit; ergo, everything was perfect. I heard Dr. VanSynz shifting papers on the other end of the phone.

“Well…”

Chapter Thirty Two

I didn’t like that ‘well.’

“Well?” I repeated.

“I’m going to have to refer you back to Dr. Tresher. You're pregnant.”

“What?”

Nick looked up, his hands covered in shampoo. I saw him mouth ‘What?’ but I just waved my hand in his direction.

“Your thyroid tests were perfect, your blood sugar was good, your insulin is a little high, but I’ve seen much worse. But your very high HCG levels indicate a pregnancy.”

“But…how?” I asked dumbly.

“While home pregnancy tests have a 90% success rate, in 10% of cases, a blood test is needed. Your levels look great, by the way.”

“Are you sure?”

Dr. VanSynz laughed. “I’m positive. I’ll send the paperwork over to Dr. Tresher if you want.”

“That’s fine…” I said trailing off. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Congratulations.”

I hung up and set the phone down on the table gently. Nick rinsed Brooke off and wrapped her up in a towel. She cried a little in protest.

“Hey now, nekked baby girl. You’ve got to get out of the water before you get pruney.” With a smile, he took the corner of the towel and wiped some renegade water drops off her face. As he did so, he looked over at me. The smile left his face.

“Liv?”

I looked over at him. Pregnant. Again.

“Huh?”

“What’s up?”

“I’m…pregnant.”

Nick’s eyes widened. “What? But the test…”

I laughed; I was still in shock. "I guess I’m part of the ten percent that gets false negatives.”

Nick came and sat down with Brooklyn. Her fingers wrapped around a loose piece of towel and she began to suck on it happily.

“Well…well…are you okay? I mean…” he trailed off. He looked as shocked as I felt.

“I’m fine,” I said lightly.

“So what do we do?” Nick asked. “Do you think we need to postpone the honeymoon? I mean…you’re going to have to go to Dr. Tresher and get checked out and…”

I stopped him. “We’re not postponing the honeymoon. Do you know how much harder it would be to go on a honeymoon with two babies? I’ll just get checked out when I come back.”

“But if we conceived when we think we did, you’d be what? Six weeks along?”

“I’ll call Dr. Tresher tomorrow. If I need to, I can always get a blood test wherever we’re honeymooning. Unless we’re going to be on a desert island, I should be fine. We’re not going on a deserted island, right? I don’t need any immunizations or anything?”

Nick shook his head. “I was trying to keep it a surprise,” he said. “But, we’re going to Australia.”

As freaked out as I was, I still couldn’t help grinning. “We’re going to Australia?” I said excitedly. “Like the continent?”

“No, I’m taking you to Outback Steakhouse and we’re pretending it’s Australia. Of course, I mean Australia,” Nick said with a laugh. Then he paused. “Is it a continent? I always thought it was a country.”

“Trust me, it’s a continent. I’ve always wanted to go to Australia.”

“I know, I remember.”

I looked at him in confusion. “When did I tell you I wanted to go to Australia?”

“Howie asked you where you would go if you could go anywhere and you said Australia. Remember when we interviewed you?”

“How could I forget?”

“Plus, I had Angel ask you again when you guys did your girly dress thing,” he said.

I vaguely remembered the conversation. I smiled.

“You’re sneaky.”

Nick smiled. “I try.”

We sat in silence for a minute, both of us watching Brooklyn drool all over the soft yellow terry cloth towel. She leaned back in her fuzzy cocoon oblivious to us. When she did finally look at me, she laughed.

“Well, having another baby so soon is good for one reason,” Nick said thoughtfully.

“What?”

“We aren’t going to have to deal with sibling jealousy. Brookey’s too young to know any better.”

“That’s true…” I said.

“And we have tons of baby clothes. And a lot of the sleepers and junk could be used for a boy or a girl.”

I smiled. “True again.”

“And we do make pretty babies,” Nick finished with a smile. I laughed.

“Three for three.”

Nick leaned over and kissed me softly. Brooklyn let out a little squeal as she momentarily got smushed against Nick’s chest. When Nick’s lips gently left mine, I saw a familiar sparkle in his eyes.

“Here we go again, Livvy.”

I smiled. “Here we go.”

------------------------------------------------------

June 30

Nick let me sleep in the next morning. I woke up to the sounds of Dora the Explorer on TV. Nick was lounging beside me with Brooklyn on his lap.

“C’mon vamamos. Everybody let’s go! C’mon we can do it. C’mon let’s get to it!” Nick sang. From my viewpoint, Brooklyn was looking at him like he had completely lost his mind.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and sat up.

“I’m a little scared. We only have a four month old and you’re already singing the lyrics to Dora the Explorer.”

Nick looked over at me and grinned sheepishly.

“She’s educational. How do you think I’m able to speak Spanish so well?”

I raised an eyebrow. He only knew about ten words of Spanish and three of them were dirty. Nick laughed.

“Okay, maybe I don’t speak it well. But, I have Howie so it doesn’t really matter. Good morning, by the way.”

I smiled. “Good morning.” I leaned over and kissed the tip of Brooke’s nose. “Good morning, Brookey.”

She looked up at me and I waited for a smile. I got a sneeze in return.

“I really hope she isn’t getting sick,” I said worriedly. Nick shook his head.

“It’s a sneeze. Everybody sneezes.” Nick picked Brooke up and kissed her pudgy cheek. Then he paused and held her out at a distance. “Ugh, she pooped.”

I smiled. “Everybody poops,” I teased.

We got out of bed at the same time; I went to take a shower while Nick headed for the changing table.

After a quick shower, I wrapped a towel around me and stood at the sink while I brushed my teeth and flossed. The metallic taste in my mouth seemed to come and go at random times. I hadn’t had that with Brooklyn, but it was absolutely disgusting. I ran my tongue along my teeth, making a face.

At least now I had a confirmed suspicion about how I had lost those last few pounds that I had wanted to lose. I had dropped a few pounds while I was pregnant with Brooklyn.

Until I had blown up to massive proportions.

I just hoped that I wouldn’t blow up unti lafter I was back from the honeymoon.

I headed back into the bedroom and walked into my closet. Unlike Nick’s, my closet was neatly organized. I had just dropped my towel and was contemplating what to wear when Nick appeared in the closet doorway.

“Where’s Brooke?” I asked.

“She’s in her swing watching Dora. She’s like Boots the Monkey. ‘Cause she’s swinging. Hey, you’re naked.”

I looked over at him. He gave me a slow once over.

“I’m getting dressed. I’ve got a lot to do today before our parties tonight.”

“Do you want to see my monkey first?”

My eyes widened. His fingers looped around the band of his basketball shorts.

“Nick, when God handed out testosterone he must have accidentally given you a couple extra doses,” I said. My eyes watched him pull the shorts down exposing that amazing dip from his abdomen that I knew all too well.

“I can’t help it. I am who I am,” Nick responded. He took another step into the walk-in closet.

“I know and I love you. But it’s also why I’m pregnant again,” I said with a laugh. I held a t-shirt up in front of me and backed up. He took another step forward.

“Actually that was your fault,” he said with a grin. “You wouldn’t let me get up if I remember. I had your claw marks in my back for a week and a half after that.”

I blushed. “I don’t know what came over me that night.”

“You were horny. You were baby-making horny.”

He closed the distance between us and wrapped his arm around my waist. He thrusted against me. I dropped my damn shirt.

“Well what’s your excuse today?” I said, slightly breathlessly.

“Well, like you told me,” he said. One of his hands dropped down to the back of my leg. I wrapped it around his hips. “I love prego sex.”

Before I could respond, I leaned back slightly, pressing against the closet wall. Nick grabbed my bottom and like a replay of that night, I did a little jump so that he was completely bearing my weight. His mouth dipped to the crook of my neck, the spot that always elicited a moan as he sucked. I playfully dug my nails into his back; in response he pressed into me, momentarily taking my breath away. I knew he wouldn’t drop me, but even still, I reached up and grabbed a hold of the rod hanging above my head.

I wondered if marriage would mean a slowdown of our sex life.

In a way, I hoped it wouldn’t.

On the other hand, if we kept this up, I’d be giving the Duggar mom a run for her money.

And twenty miniature Carters running around was a terrifying thought.

Chapter Thirty Three

“I would really like to see you today. I had a cancellation and I can squeeze you and Brooklyn in.”

“Really? That would be great Dr. Tresher.”

“Can you make it in an hour?”

“I sure can. See you then.”

I hung up and turned to Nick. “Dr. Tresher wants to see me today. She can see us in an hour.”

“An hour? It’ll take us at least thirty minutes to get there from here.”

“Well, I’ll get Brooklyn, you pull the car around, and we’ll make it.”

Nick grabbed his car keys from the hall table and headed outside. I picked Brooklyn up out of her swing. Her little nose was still dripping. She felt warm to my touch.

“Okay, pumpkin. Let’s see if we can get you feeling better.”

I locked up the house just as Nick pulled his car up to the front door. I opened the door and put Brooklyn into her car seat. She tossed her head back and forth, letting out a whine in protest.

“It’s okay. Once daddy starts driving I know you’re going to get over your hissy fit,” I said calmly. I double checked the buckles and hoped in. Nick looked behind him at Brooklyn.

“All set?” he asked. I nodded.

“Let’s roll.”

Forty minutes and one traffic jam later, we pulled up to the doctor’s office. While I got out and checked in at the desk, Nick got Brooklyn and the car seat out. I had just sat down when he walked in and sat down beside me. A young pregnant woman sitting across from me lowered the magazine she was reading. Her eyes widened in surprise. She quickly brought the magazine up again, but I could see her eye trained on Nick. I leaned over, my mouth brushing his ear.

“You’ve got a fan,” I whispered. His smile widened. He caught her eye and she lowered the magazine again.

“Hello,” Nick said cheerfully.

“H—Hi,” the girl said.

“Are you having your first?”

The girl nodded. “Your little girl’s adorable.”

Nick kissed the top of Brooke’s head. “Thank you.”

“You’re Nick Carter, right?”

Nick nodded. “I am.”

“My older sister used to love you.”

Before she could say anything else the nurse called us back. Nick gave her a smile and followed me to the exam room. Once we were in the room, Nick’s smile fell.

“What?” I asked confused.

“I hate when people say they used to love me,” he said. He was practically pouting. “What did I do that made them not love me anymore?”

I stifled a laugh as the nurse wrapped the blood pressure cuff around me.

“I don’t think it’s so much you, babe,” I said. “I think they just mean Backstreet Boys in general.”

“Well we haven’t gone anywhere,” Nick complained.

“I know, but Jive screwed you over on airplay. To a lot of people you have.”

“That’s going to change,” Nick said. He sat down with Brooklyn. The nurse finished up with me and asked us some generic questions about Brooke’s eating, sleeping, and pooping habits.

“Dr. Tresher will be with you in just a minute or two,” the nurse said. I smiled and thanked her; she closed the door behind her.

“What time’s your party starting tonight?” Nick asked.

“Seven. What time is your mom coming over?”

“Six. My party starts at eight.”

“Really? I figured since Brian and Leighanne were planning our parties they’d coordinate times.”

Nick shrugged. “I don’t know. He won’t tell me what he’s got planned.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Don’t say uh-oh. If it was AJ planning it I would say uh-oh. But Brian? It will be fine.”

At that moment Dr. Tresher knocked on the door and walked in. She broke into a big smile as soon as she saw us.

“Well, well, well,” she said lightly. “I knew you guys would be back for Round 2. I just didn’t think it would be this soon.”

I blushed; Nick grinned. “I can’t be tamed.”

“I see that. But, before we get to that, let’s take a look at Brooke. I see a red little nose. Has she been drooling a lot?”

Nick nodded. “She’s a slobbery little booger. She’s been chewing on her blanket a lot lately too.”

Dr. Tresher put her finger on Brooke’s bottom lip and tried to nudge her way in. Brooke gave her a haughty little glare. She seemed to be trying to keep her mouth shut even though little baby bubbles were dripping through the sides. Finally Dr. Tresher managed to use the slobber to work her way in. Brooke let out a loud open-mouthed cry as Dr. Tresher shined her light in.

“Well, I don't hear any chest congestion. And her little mouth holds the answer to the stuffiness and the runny nose. She’s cutting her first tooth.”

“Already?” I said in surprise. Dr. Tresher nodded.

“It’s not uncommon. Around four months is when they can start cutting. That also explains the increased drool. Getting teeth is hard work.”

“It’s probably a good thing you stopped breastfeeding,” Nick teased. He chomped his teeth in my direction. I shook my head.

“What can we do to help ease the pain?” I asked the doctor.

“Rubber teething rings, baby Orajel, even just running your fingers along the gums can provide some comfort.”

“I’m guessing whiskey’s out?” Nick said.

“You’re in rare form today aren’t you?” Dr. Tresher answered with a laugh. “Yes, absolutely no whiskey. For baby or dad. And not for mom either.” She turned to look at me. “Let’s take a look at you and see if we can’t give you guys an idea of a due date.”

She walked over to the ultrasound equipment. Nick was eyeing the internal ultrasound wand; I still remembered his shock at discovering a ‘dildo’ at the doctor’s office.

“When was the last time you had intercourse?” Dr. Tresher asked. I blushed. If I would have known I had an appointment today…

“This morning,” Nick said lightly. Dr. Tresher looked from him to me.

“This explains why you two are here again,” she teased. “Alright, tummy ultrasound it is.”

I lay back on the exam table and lifted my shirt. Even though I had plenty of experience with the gel, I still jumped at the coldness.

“You got back to pre-pregnancy weight quickly,” Dr. Tresher remarked.

“Actually, I even lost a little more,” I said.

“Well, as you know, that will change soon.”

I sighed. So much for my size 8’s.

Nick scooted his chair closer so that he could see the monitor. After a few seconds, Dr. Tresher pointed to the screen.

“You’re about six weeks along,” Dr. Tresher said. “We’ve got a good heartbeat here.”

Even though it had come as a huge surprise, the mention of a heartbeat and the sight of a teeny blip on the screen made my heart melt. Once upon a time in the not so distant past Brooklyn had been that little tiny blip. I couldn’t imagine life without her now.

Dr. Tresher turned off the screen and wiped the goo off my stomach. As I sat up, she tapped her pen thoughtfully on the chart.

“I’m going to put your due date as February 21,” she said.

“Eleven months apart,” I said, glancing at Brooke.

“You’re going to have your hands full for sure,” Dr. Tresher said. “Now I also need to discuss some risks. You’re at a higher risk for miscarriage and for preterm birth. Keeping that in mind, don’t hesitate to call me or head to the ER if you see any bleeding or feel any cramping.”

“What about flying? We’re going to Australia on our honeymoon,” Nick explained.

“Well, you flew early in your last pregnancy if I remember correctly. Just don’t go crazy and make sure you know where to seek help if you need it. I’d like to schedule another appointment when you get back to check things again.”

We spent a few more minutes talking and scheduling my next appointment. Before she left the room, Dr. Tresher shook both our hands.

“You guys are going to need a bigger tour bus,” she said with a smile. Nick laughed.

“Yeah, I thought it was going to be rough with one.”

“Well, I’ll see you all soon. And congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.”

“Thank you,” I said with a smile. She left and I took a moment to get my shoes on. Nick handed me my purse.

“Liv?”

“Yeah?”

“What are nuptials?”

I laughed. “The wedding ceremony.”

“Ohhhh,” he said. “That makes sense. I thought it was an Australian word. Like marsupial.”

As we walked out of the room I shook my head.

He was adorable, but he gave new meaning to blonde moments.

Chapter Thirty Four

Jane arrived at the house at six thirty, a half hour later than she said she would. It wasn’t a good start. By 6:01 Nick was already in a huffy mood. By the time he answered the door you could tell he was frustrated.

“Sorry,” Jane said breezily, walking in. She took a look around.

“Nice place.”

“Thanks,” Nick said.

“Where’s my granddaughter?”

I was sitting in the living room with Brooke. She was lying on a blanket, gnawing on my pinky like it was a bone. I looked up as Jane walked in.

“Hi Jane,” I said.

“Hi.” She came around the couch and knelt down and scooped Brooklyn up. As soon as my finger left her mouth she let out a startled (and if I may say so, pissed off) cry.

“Aww, shhh, shhh,” Jane cooed. “Don’t cry for grandma.”

Nick walked up behind Jane and stroked Brooke’s cheek.

“She’s cutting teeth, mom,” he explained. “She’s a little crabby.”

“Cutting teeth? Already?”

“She’s four months old.”

“Well, if I would have seen her more it might not come as such a surprise,” she said. I could tell Nick was biting his tongue. I stood up.

“Let me show you around, Jane,” I said.

I gave Jane a tour of the house, pointing out the formula and extra bottles in the kitchen and the diapers and outfits up in the nursery.

“She loves her swing,” I said. “She hates her bouncy seat.”

“Nick used to love his little swing,” she said. For once her face relaxed into a warm smile.

“Did Nick like baths?”

“Loved them.”

“So does Brooke.”

I was waiting for the orchestra to start playing a sappy instrumental. We were sharing a moment.

“Liv! Your limo’s here!” Nick called up the stairs.

So much for that moment.

“Okay, well…” I kissed Brooke’s cheek. “Have fun with grandmommy,” I said. I looked up at Jane. She bounced Brooke gently.

“Have a good evening,” she said.

I smiled; I was already nervous about leaving Brooke. Lord, help me.

“I will. Thanks.”

I ran down the stairs before I could change my mind. Nick grabbed my hand and spun me towards him.

“Have a good time,” he said quietly, his lips right next to mine.

“I will. You too. Be careful.”

“I’ll try. Something tells me I’m going to be a little preoccupied.”

His eyes darted towards the stairs. I turned his face back towards mine. I kissed him softly.

“I love you.” Nick smiled.

“I love you too, Livvy.”

He smacked my bottom.

“Now go before I drag you up the stairs and lock you in the closet.”

The thought of the closet brought back visions from this morning. Nick laughed evilly.

“I’m leaving,” I said, opening the door. I blew him a kiss. He jumped up with an exaggerated leap and caught it. He fell over the back of the couch on landing, his face smashing into the pillows.

“Be careful!” I reminded him again. I shut the door and headed towards the limo.

It seemed like we had just done Ro’s bachelorette party.

Now it was my turn.

-----------------------------------------------

Leighanne was waiting for me as I walked towards the limo. She smiled brightly. She looked like she was ready to pop right on the spot. I hoped the limo was roomy enough in case we had to do an emergency delivery.

“Happy Bachelorette Party!” she said, hugging me tightly when I got to the door.

“Thanks, Leigh,” I said with a laugh. She opened the door.

“Go on. Get in.”

I slid onto the plush leather seat. The moment I sat down, someone placed a blindfold over my eyes.

“What’s this for?” I complained.

“Just go along with it,” I heard someone, I think Rochelle, say. “It’s a Backstreet bride tradition.”

I heard the door close and we took off. I was patiently quiet for all of five minutes.

As the limo picked up speed, I began to get antsy.

“Hey, how come Nick’s crew isn’t leaving to eight?” I asked.

“We have a longer trip,” Leighanne explained.

“Don’t give her any hints!”

To say the limo ride was long would be an understatement. Rochelle was only blindfolded as we made our way across town. I knew by the speed of the limo that we were on an interstate. After an hour my butt fell asleep.

“Okay, where are we going?” I asked impatiently.

“Just be patient,” Angel said with a laugh.

After what seemed like an eternity, the limo finally stopped. I heard the sound of doors opening and high heels hitting concrete. Finally a warm hand grabbed mine.

“Slowly," Leighanne said. "Watch your step."

Feeling a little like an eel, I flopped my way along the seat until I felt the warm night air on my calf. I stood awkwardly, blinking rapidly behind the blindfold. I heard the door close behind me.

"Alright, one...two...three!"

The blindfold was yanked off of my head. My eyes widened.

I was standing at the entrance of Universal Studios. BJ, Angel, Leslie, Rochelle, Leigh, and Leighanne were all grinning at me.

"What's this?" I asked dumbly.

"Well, I asked your mom where you might like to go for your party. And your mom mentioned Harry Potter world."

I laughed. My mom would mention Harry Potter world.

"But what time is it? It's closing," I said. The display on my watch read 9:00. People were pouring out of the gates. Leighanne's grin only widened.

"I pulled a few strings," she said lightly. "C'mon."

We made our way to the ticket booth. A moment later she was passing around VIP passes.

"Now, the rides are off limits, but I've talked a couple friends into keeping a few shops open." Leighanne handed out an itinerary.

LIV'S BACHELORETTE PARTY ITINERARY

9:00 - Arrive at Wizarding World
9:30 - Dinner at the Three Broomsticks; Dessert at Honeydukes
10:30 - Sightseeing
11:15 - Pedicures at Dervish and Bangs
Midnight - head home

I looked at Leighanne. I could have kissed her at that moment. She smiled.

"Sound good?"

"I love you. This is AWESOME."

"Well what are we waiting for?" Rochelle asked. "I'm starving."

We walked in just as they were locking the doors. I had a feeling this was going to be a night to remember.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Our first stop was the Three Broomsticks. One lone bartender was manning the shop. Leighanne gave him a big hug and turned to all of us.

"This is Tony. I've known him since I filmed Olive Juice. He was part of the food crew."

Tony smiled and waved.

"Unfortunately, you ladies will have to enjoy a non-magical spread of pizza and salad," he said. "But I do have nonalcoholic butterbeer. For those looking for something with a little more kick I have some imported drinks."

Tony brought out three humongous pizzas. Leigh and Leslie went in the back to check out the wine selection. I smiled as a huge mug of butterbeer was set down in front of me. I grabbed my phone.

"What are you doing?" Angel asked. She had opted for water.

"Taking a picture."

"Why?"

"Because it's butterbeer!"

Angel rolled her eyes. I guess she didn't see the awe-inspiring power of butterbeer. For a moment I felt like Nick as I took the picture and sent the Twitpic to my Twitter account.

@livvyliv Butterbeer anyone?

"Do you have any idea what the guys are doing tonight Leigh?" Rochelle asked Leighanne. Leigh glanced over at me and then she shook her head.

"Nope. No clue." I knew it was a lie.

"Hey, why didn't Kevin's girlfriend come tonight?" I asked. I knew Brian and Leighanne had gone out to dinner with Kev and his "lady" the night before.

"She offered to watch Mason and Baylee. I think she's kind of shy," Leighanne said. "But, she is SO cute and sweet. I can so see Kevin and her together, riding off into the sunset."

I smiled. "So he's happy?"

"Absolutely."

I took a big bite of pizza, feeling happy and content. I was having my bachelorette party at an amusement park. And not just any amusement park. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter! It couldn't get any better than that.

"So do we have to be on labor alert tonight?" Leigh asked as she returned with a glass of wine in her hand. Leighanne shook her head.

"I had a doctor's visit right before we drove down here. No action. I think she's probably going to be late."

"Baylee was early wasn't he?" I asked.

Leighanne nodded.

"Yup. But it was a good thing. The waiting was killing us. This time around, I have Baylee to keep me preoccupied."

I nodded thoughtfully. Brooklyn was definitely going to keep me preoccupied.

"Hey Liv, AJ wanted me to ask you if you had any hand in Nick's Twitter video," Rochelle said with a smile. I laughed.

"Why?"

"Because I about died when Nick sang about AJ never tweeting," Rochelle said. "You should have seen his face. It was priceless."

Leighanne started laughing.

"Brian thought it was hilarious, but he did mention that he was going to tell Nick he could go chirp himself."

I grinned. "That was an all night jam session. It was videotaped by my friend Sam."

"Speaking of Sam," Leigh said. "Howie was incredibly impressed. He's offering him the job tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. Howie invited him to the bachelor party."

My grinned widened. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall...

"Who's watching Brooklyn?" Leslie asked. My grin flickered. I was hit with the sudden urge to call home.

"Your mom."

"Our mom?" Angel asked. "Whose idea was that?"

"She called Nick and said she felt like we were depriving her of quality time. Nick told her she could babysit," I explained. My hand slid down towards my purse.

"He's a dumbass," Angel said.

"Yeah. She's been kind of crazy lately," BJ said. "With the whole Aaron thing and everything..." she trailed off and sighed.

I picked up my phone and stood up.

"Where are you going?" BJ asked.

"To check in."

As I walked down the hallway to the bathroom, I couldn't help but think if Jane's own daughters were worried about her babysitting that I should be very, very scared.