Halloween Party

Brian had spent most of the night talking to a fork and a spoon, only stopping for a few minutes when he’d been interrupted by a WII controller that he hadn’t seen in almost seven years. He finally managed to rip himself away from the cutlery and headed across AJ’s living room, hoping to blend in with a crowd of crayons, but there’s really not many places to hide when you’re only the ass half of a cow.br> Oh… and just in case you’re curious, Brian was at a Halloween costume party.

A lion in a tutu approached Brian and slapped him on the back. “What’s up, Cow Ass?”

“Hey AJ,” Brian said, turning around. “Nice party.”

AJ grinned. “Thanks dude.”

“Where’s Rochelle?”

AJ gestured across the room where his fiancé was standing, wearing a costume that can only be desribed as a “sexy gorilla” (I know, I know, impossible to imagine isn’t it? But it IS Rochelle after all, she’s pretty creative, so trust me, she pulled this off) was serving some bottles of beer to two Greek Gods carrying a little thunderbolt.

“I can’t believe Howie and Leigh dressed James up as Zeus’ lightening,” AJ laughed, “That’s creative as hell.”

“Right?” Brian laughed, too. “Have you seen Nick yet?”

AJ thought for a moment. “Nope. Is he even here yet?”

Brian shrugged.

Rochelle swung by and wrapped her arms around AJ’s furry body suit. “You’re so sexy with this much hair,” she mumbled into his ear. She offered a Rolling Rocks to Brian, who shook his head. Rochelle kissed AJ’s neck from behind. “Later the monkey wants to eat your banana,” she whispered.

Brian stared at his feet, feeling awkward, kinda wishing he’d taken the beer.

AJ growled under his breath. “Hmmm…” he muttered, “And the lion wants to eat the monkey…”

“Hey guys?” Brian asked, raising a hand, “Still here.”

AJ grinned. “Excuse us.” And quickly they disappeared.

Brian sighed.

Zeus and Aphrodite and their little lightening bolt came over, laughing, having watched Brian’s discomfort with the Lion and his prey and Howie winked at his Backstreet brother. “Hey, you look udderly lonely over here,” he cracked.

Leigh laughed.

“Haw haw,” Brian muttered, running a hand across the udder that was affixed to his crotch. He laughed. “Hey, have you seen my head?”

Howie glanced at Brian’s hand location. “Uhh..”

“I mean Leighanne, pervert.”

Leigh thumbed over her shoulder, “I think I saw her talking to a computer mouse about ten minutes ago by the punch bar.”

Brian nodded, “Ah. Okay then. Have you seen Nick?”

“No what’s he dressed as?” Howie asked, glancing around. “Freddy Krueger again?”

Brian shrugged, “I have no idea. I haven’t seen him yet.”

The tutu-lion returned. “Monkee got distracted.”

“Lion didn’t move quick enough?” Howie chortled.

“No, dammit,” AJ laughed.

Suddenly there was a commotion at the front door. The four of them turned and watched as a puff of confetti fell to the floor in front of the open door, and a moment later, Nick appeared.
Brian gasped.

AJ choked.

Howie and Leigh both had dropped jaws. Leigh covered the lightening bolt’s eyes. “Oh nawh he did-int!” Howie groaned.

Nick, wearing only boxers with a green and silver snake printed on them, a pair of white gym socks, and a pointed wizard’s cap, was carrying a stick he'd probably picked up on the front lawn. He had on a maroon and gold scarf around his neck and big fake black-rimmed glasses. He scanned the room, spotted his friends, grinned, and made his way over to them.

“Oh Jesus,” AJ muttered.

“HEY GUYS!” Nick cried.

“What the hell are you supposed to be?” Brian demanded, looking at their mostly-naked friend.

Nick grinned. “Harry Potter.”

AJ was wheezing laughing.

“Doesn’t Harry Potter wear uh clothes?” Brian asked.

Nick grinned even harder. “Not SEXY Harry Potter. He held out the stick he was carrying. “Wanna touch my wand?”

AJ officially fell on the floor laughing.

“Uh no, thanks,” Brian laughed, “I’m good with that.”

Nick smirked, “It’s made of hard wood.”

AJ was snorted and was pretty certain a dust bunny had taken up residence in his lungs as a result.

Howie laughed, “Christ, who knew Harry Potter was such a pervert?”

Nick laughed, “I gotta million of’em…” he winked.

Leighanne arrived at Brian’s side, spotted AJ on the floor panting as he laughed, then noticed Nick. “Oh my,” she muttered.

Nick held out the stick again. “Wanna feel my wand?” he asked.

Leighanne laughed.

“That’s my wife,” Brian said in a scolding voice.

Nick laughed, “Wanna feel Brian’s wand?”

Leigh shook her head. “Nick you are beyond belief.”

“Good luck with this one,” Howie muttered, thumbing at Nick and following Leigh’s lead as they went to mingle with the crowd.

Nick grinned.

Leighanne shook her head, “What’s with the Slytherin boxers?” she asked, laughing.

Nick snorted, “Everyone knows Harry should’ve turned evil in the end…”

“I liked the way it ended,” Brian said.

“Dude, Harry should’ve died,” Nick said. He paused. “Besides, I was gonna be sexy Voldemort but I couldn’t find clay that would stick to my face long enough to fake out the nose and I didn’t have time to make new boxers.”

“Voldemort’s wand I would’ve felt,” Leighanne winked.

“The noseless bastard?” Brian asked, looking offended. “That’s it, you’re an assless cow forever now…” he pretended to walk away.

Leighanne laughed and caught him by the elbow, “Don’t go, you’re sexier than any wizard.”

“Even Dumbledore?”

“Oh yes. Although I won’t bitch if you grow a beard…”

Nick snorted. “You guys are twisted.”

“Says the man asking everyone to feel his wand,” said Brian.

Nick laughed. “Ohh, I see Hermione now.” He pointed to the door, where Lauren was just coming in, dressed in the shortest grey skirt Brian had ever seen and spikey Mary-Jane style shoes that made her already incredibly long legs look even longer. Nick winked. “See yawl, I gotta see if she needs a ride on my broomstick!” He bounded off.

“He is such a perv,” Leighanne laughed.

“Tell me about it,” Brian snorted.