Hi again!

So, a year has gone by since the cruise. WHat's new with me, you ask?
Sold my house, bought a new one. Lost 5 pounds, got a dog, and got rid of the dog. And yes, I did see Jeff again. In Germany, where he got married to Franke, his GSK assistant who-happens-to-be-pregnant.

I finished the school year last June, wondering if I had taken the right career path. In July, St.Lukes (hospital) called me to see if i'd be willing to help out a few hours a week, since I still had my medical license. The 'few hours a week' became '60 hours a week' because I was also doing tele-medicine for patients in secluded areas, where urologists lack. When my school sent me the paper work to sign my 2011-2012 teaching contract, I just couldn't. So here I am, as off December 2011, working full time (and overtime I might add...) up people's asses and  IN their business...

My senior collegues got to choose their Holiday shifts before I did. Perks of being at St.Lukes for longer than I have. Of course, everybody wants to work on the 24th or 25th. Not.

I had chosen the second week of January and the third of February. That's when Judy called me.

''How about we hit the cruise again this year? Hopefully this year, you wont get food poisoning from the shrimps!'' she said.

Right. Stomack virus. I had blamed my lack-of-explanation and my hiding-in-our-cabin on stale shrimps. That's how I got away with Judy last year. I also had to explain that the smell in our cabin was Jeff's body spray that I had brought with me and used on my sheets because I was sooooooooo (not) heartbroken.
As for the manly flip flops Judy found next to her bed, well, I managed to have her believe SHE had brought those with her when she got back from the party.

I don't like lying, but I had no other choice.

I booked our flights. I am the friend with a credit card and the salary. Funny how I always end up paying for her...I'm sure you have a friend like that too...Or maybe YOU are the friend. Needless to say, she was beyond happy when I called to inform her I had booked flights and hotel in Miami. And one of those ridiculously-overpriced top cabin. Judy said she'd pay me back when I'd get my statement. Right.

So morning of December 1st, our flight landed in Fort Lauderdale (FLL), 2 hours after take-off. We got our rental and drove to Miami where our hotel was.

Judy informed me about a pre-cruise party at some nightclub.

«I pass», I told her. Wasn't ready to be surrounded by heaps of girls. Judy had texted a few twitter acquaintances of hers and decided to meet up at Cameo.

She got ready, while I was reading Last Night at Chateau Marmont. She was dressed in a short dress which she looked really good in, I have to admit. Clutch and shoes in hand ('shoes' you're wondering? We were staying at the Courtyard Miami South Beach, located a few hundred feet away from our room, literrally), she waved and told me not to wait up. I rang room service; got a piece of NY cheesecake with a latte and read for a few hours.

The next morning, I was up and ready to go. Had even went for my morning jogging along the beach, «I could get used to this», I thought. Judy got up, applied Preparation H under her eyes, boy did she look tired! And before you ask, yes, Preparation H constricts blood vessels hence why it helps getting rid of puffiness. Of course, it's not something you wanna be using everyday. How do I know? Remember what I do for a living? Good.

We checked in around 12h15. Boy was it chilly and windy. Got our cabin. Dropped our bags and admired the view for a few minutes. We had a 6E with ocean view. When I booked, I thought it'd be nice to read out on the deck. I regretted it now because there was no way I would be able to keep a book opened with these winds. Had no clue about the privileges we'd be getting (concert tickets, for example) but I'll get into that later. I left the cabin (and Judy .. poor her she was having some minor cramps in her lower abdomen) and walked around for a bit. Girls were busy decorating their doors. Crap, I hadn't had the memo... Some other girls were busy taking pictures with a huge Backstreet Boys cutout that looked nothing like the real deal. Some were walking around, drinks in hand (already?) and some had just gotten on the boat and were going in all directions, chanting OhMyGods for everyone to hear.

I was excited, but I like to keep my emotions bottled in. That's how I am. I can show excitement, but only when prompted...or drunk. Met with Luciana, a lovely girl who would be taking care of our cabin and went back in. Judy seemed to be doing better. Good.

I can't lie and say I wasn't excited/nervous about seeing Nick again. I was nervous as hell, but not for the obvious reason. I was afraid he would stick his nose up in the air and ignore me. Kind of the reason why I didn't want to go to the party at Cameo the night before. I know what you're thinking right now, 'Right Hannah, like you'd actually get close enough to have him look at you'. Well, let's just say Judy is seeing someone in his entourage (by 'seeing' of course I mean 'shacking up' with someone who works for him/them. It's been going on for a little over 2 years, but nothing serious you guessed it. How would have I been invited to the party last year, had it not been from 'that guy' ?! come on!).

On my bed, I opened my suitcase and dug deep to find the bottles of Heineken I had carefully wrapped in 2 dishcloths. I had brought a few. I had one (or three...) and we decided to get our outfits ready for the night and skip on the 'in it to win it' kinda thing the boys were hosting/taking part in.

«Hey, Han, you think we'll be close enough to I can see up Brian's nostrils?» Judy asked.

«Probably»

«Excited to see Aj again? Too bad he probably won't be drinking tonight...You could of gotten him drunk off his ass and drag him back here after the party!»

Right. I had told Judy my favorite was Aj. I'll try to keep that in mind.

«He's still as sexy as last year, but I think he fell asleep in one of those tanning beds. Something's wrong with his tan».

«Bah, I'd still hook up with him, given a chance», I lied.

We looked like crap. But good crap. 80's crap. I had black ripped leggins over neon green tights. A mesh skirt with a black cropped top that read 'Cinderella' (of course, not the obvious Disney princess)and because of my ahem, enhancement of last year, the 'CIN' and 'LA' were stretched like you wouldn't believe. I had gloves a la Mickael Jackson and two lollypop-y rings. My hair? Oh gosh...Judy has brought her original 1985 pink hair crimper. Need I say more? Make-up wise, it was aweful, but it worked with the outfit. Judy pinned (that's what Blackberry phones do, right?) her 'guy' and told us where to meet with him so we could get passed security. We looked at our watch (Swatch watches!!!) and realized that we were running late. Perks of having Judy's 'guy' tell us the wheres/whens/hows ..

We ventured out. We were looking for a special set of stairs that would lead us to 'where it's at', so 'the guy' had told Judy. By the amount of girls and empty plastic cups, I could tell the party had already been under way for a while. Give or take an hour. We got to the area where 'he' was waiting for us (well huh, Judy...) and he gave my friend a quick pity-cheek-kiss. Girls were yelling behind me, some more sober than others. I soon discovered why; Brian (and his blonde curly wig -im talking about his hair, not his girlfriend. Come on people!) had arrived. The eye make-up on this one! So he greated all of us and Judy got her picture taken with him.
 
«Yay!», she said.
 
«I know, right? Almost too easy. I give him 5 minutes before he starts saying NO».
 
«Ha ha ha, probably. Eeeew, I have some of his hair in my drink..and down my crack...and on my lolly-ring. It's everyhere!»
 
«Eeew, gross». I said   I didn't have time to finish my sentence when I felt his hair on my semi-bare shoulder. It was extremely windy and his hair was tangled in my Flavor-Flav clock necklace (smaller version!). I turned around to warn Brian about his hair being all over the place but I had to yell louder, he seemed to have gone up on a stool or something.

  «Brian?» No answer.

«Brian!», I yelled louder. I grabbed his wrist while my other hand tried to unchain his plastic-y hair but was welcome by a :  

«Hey, what? I already have my partner for beer-pong» he said.   I stood there motionless. It wasn't Brian on a stool, taller. It was Nick. It was Nick's hair stuck in my necklace.

  «Huh, hi. It's just to tell you that your hair is all tangled in my necklace».   Nick looked down my shirt, literally, and tried to untangle his mess-of-a-wig. His cold hands brushing against my somewhat tight top.  

«Oh, sorry about that. Here, let me help...Nice clock! Flavor-Flaaaaaav!», he reeked of alcool. Beer. No, lemon drop. Or both.

  «Ah, a connoisseur!» I laughed, while he removed the last stand. I doubt he knew what connoisseur means.  

«You look like TIffany. The singer» he said.  

«What?»

  «Wait, is that your name?» he asked me, looking puzzeled.   I stood there for a few seconds, and that's when it hit me; thank God, he does not know who I am. I grabbed my drink (which was on the table) and said «cheers!»  

Judy tripped over a piece of god-knows-what. I laughed a little and said:   «How fucking wonderful Jude, he does not know who I am!»  

«Oh, Hannah honey, one day he will, I promise you. Flash him, he might like the view!»

  «Jude, you don't understand! I was worried for nothing. Shoulda gone to that pre-sail party!» I added, not remembering I had NOT told Judy about last year.  

«Hannah, you're drunk! I like it! Let's get you another drink».  

We stayed around the table while Brian and Nick were playing beer-pong. Even though Nick never went to college, you could tell he had had a lot of practice. He switched side and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He did the same with his other arm, but around a girl twice my size. He turned around to look at me and said:

«You smell nice, what are you wearing?»

  «Hairspray» I laughed.   He then let go of the other girl and grabbed a mike. Started yelling nonesenseness and sang along(off-key) to the tune that was playing.

  «Smell you later!» he said and took off. Went up a set of stairs and joined Aj on the deck. Judy and her 'guy' were exchanging dirty looks and I knew she would not be coming back to our room that night. We got some more drinks and I was ready to call it a night. THe music was loud, it was windy and I was cold. My feet were killing me (when you're 5'9 you don't need to wear heels all the time), but Judy refused to let me leave.  

«Let's go up and have your picture taken with AJ» Judy said.

«You're at least getting one with Aj today».   I knew she wouldnt let me convince her of anything else, so being the good friend that I am, I followed her. Up the stairs. In heels. High Heels.

  We had no trouble walking past security. The 'guy' ( note to self; I really should give him a name before I start using his)escorted us, telling pretty much everybody that we encountered on our way that WE were with him.

Aj was easy to talk to. Seems like we chatted for hours before I asked him for a picture. I was not really comfortable with the whole concept, but Judy insisted and he didn't seem to mind. We talked about anything and everything. Nick was behind him, looking at what was going on on the lower deck. It got to a point where I thought he was going to pass out and lean over the ramp. I tried not to look at him too much, because when I did, he'd match my stare and I'd look down. Aj asked me if I was on break from school, which I thought was cute.

  «I work, actually. I'M done with school»

  «Oh really? And what do you do?» he said.

  «I'm a urologist right now».

  He spat out his Red Bull and laughed. A lot.

  «No shit. Get out. You? Fuck, how old are you?»  

« I'm about your age, maybe younger». Where was Judy? Usually she explains my carreer path before I get the chance to.  

«Yo, Nick boy, listen to this...» he turned around and grabbed Nick by his sleeve

  «Aj, I don't think you need to ...» I hurried,

  «This lovely lady over here is a urologist. That's pretty fucking wack man!»

  Nick looked at Aj, eyes half closed. He patted Aj on the shoulder and said:

  «No fucking way dude! I met a urologist once...» then lowered his voice (or so he thought) and added « I'd kill to do her again...».

  Nick looked at me, as if to say HI :

«TIffany!!» he yelled, in a high pitched voice.  

«So Age, where is your urologist?» Nick asked.

  «She'S right here! TIffany, right?» Aj said.

 I motioned to shake his hand, but ended up in a semi-hug. With stands of hair too close to my mouth for my liking. Nick studied his surroundings and about 5 girls were on the upper deck with us. Two bodyguards, Judy (and her 'guy') and a couple of dudes taking pictures with kick ass Canons.

  «Actually, my name is Hannah».

  «Hannah? you're not Tiffany?» Aj asked.

  «Nah, I'm pretty sure my birth certificate says Hannah».  

«Then why did my boy Nick here call you Tiffany?» he turned around «Nick? Buddy? What's up?»

  I knew by the look on Nick's face that he had done the maths...

«Oh Fuck. He knows now», I thought.
 
«I'm sorry, but it's just funny. I just can't picture you...you know...doing what you do» AJ said, sheepishly.
 
«Well, boys and girls, I'M gonna call it a night» Nick stormed out, looking at Aj and me.
 
I knew he didn't want to be out on the deck with moi. What if I asked him embarrassing questions or try to get in his pants again in front of AJ better yet, what if I told AJ about last year and Aj told Lauren? Nick made the wise choice of calling it a night. Though it left AJ wondering why Nick was leaving this early. I, on the other hand, was kind of glad.

Judy stopped sucking face with Mr whats-his-name. She had seen Nick walk out as if his ass was on fire and of course, she was looking at me as if I had done something. She grabbed my left forearm and said:

  «What did you say to make him this mad? You know fans are going to be pissed about this, right? Or wait...Did you do this so you'd be alooooone with AJ? I knew it!»She said, proudly.

  «Are you kidding me? Nick wasn't mad. I think nature called...maybe he needed to use the washroom. I don't know» I added.

  «We'll see about that»   Judy went back to her guy and I stayed on the deck, looking at the fans on the deck below ours. They were snapping pictures, drinking and waving posters at Aj. Aj grabbed the mike and started talking about his wedding and the Holidays. He went on and on for what felt like hours. I ordered two shots, which I downed quite fast. I glanced at my pink Swatch watch and decided to head to my room.

  «Calling it a night too?» Aj asked  

«Yes, I'm tired and well, I don't think my friend over there will be getting any sleep tonight. So might as well rest a little, that way, one of us can actually take pictures in the Bahamas tomorrow, while the other one sleeps in. I'll let you guess who's going to take pictures....» I smiled.

  «Alright, alright. I understand. I wont stay out here forever either. I doubt Nick is coming back. Either his eggwhite wrap went down nasty or he's gone back to Lauren. And he says I'm the one that's whipped. Is he your favorite? You must be pissed he left» Aj added, chuckling.

  «Kevin is. Hum, was» I told him. I figured I'd lie.  

«Aaw, then you've chosen the perfect year for the cruise!»  

«Yeah, I did, didn't I» I said, not sounding too convinced.  

«Well, good night and naughty dreams to you. Was nice meeting you!» Aj hugged me and I left. Pheeew.

  So I made my way back to our cabin. Some fans were in the hallway, taking pictures and admiring the art work on doors. Many had gone all out, decorating theirs. My gosh. We had the only door not decorated on our floor. Pretty embarrassing.  

«Oh, I thought the cruise was sold out" a girl said. 

«Isn't it?» her friend replied.  

«Can't be, there's a door here without decorations. So we know there's at least one cabin that'S not occupied» said the first one.

  «Unless...it belongs to one of the g uys! Oh my god! You think it could?» she told her friend.

  «Oh my god yes! could be! Oh how I'd just die to be next door to Nick»  

«Right, so you can hear him going at it all night with Lauren?»  

«You know, I read on a forum that she doesn't put out much..» the first one said.  

Not wanting them to know I was the proud owner of that cabin, I politly said HI, faked looking for my purse and went back to the elevators. Didn't know exactly where I was going so I pressed all the buttons. I had always wanted to do that. Since there were only 9 floors, it wouldn't be too long should somebody decide to join me. I got out, after a series of 'DINGs' and noticed a steak house. I looked through the glass doors and saw a killer Saeco Coffee machine.

«I could use caffeine» I thought. I went straight to the counter, and ordered myself a double espresso. I roamed around and decided on a spot. I sat down and leaned my head against the wall behind me.

  «Are you following me or something» I heard someone say.

  Nick...  

He was sitting 2 tables (booth) away from mine. I hadn't even seen anybody in the restaurant, let alone him.  

«I should ask you the same question. It's a steakhouse Nick. Aren't you a vegetarian or something?» I asked, a little bit shocked.  

«Exactly! You think fans would come and look for me in here? » Nick said.  

«Good point»  

«A lot of them are probably lined up in front of the gym, hoping to catch me sweating like a pig on an elliptical bike» he added. «Plus, my bodyguard got me coffee from this place earlier tonight, it's really great coffee».  

I lifted my cup and said «sure is».   He stood up, coffee in hand and said, pointing at the empty seat in front of me «can I ?»  

«Be my guest»   I couldn't look at him. My mind was focussing on my hand, which was playing with a coaster on the table. Making it spin. I didn't know how much he remembered from last year and I didn't want to talk about it to be honest.

  «So, enjoying your time on the boat so far ...?» he said, trying to remember my name.

  «Hannah» I said  

«Hannah. I knew it. Hannah. So once again your friend has ditched you to go 'his' room?

 «What? You know about Judy and (insert name here lol ) him?» I asked, intrigued.  

«Oh, everybody knows around here. He can't stop talking about 'the next time he gets to see her'. I just wasn't sure if she was your friend...I mean, if she was the one with you last year...Not that I didn't remember you, or her, I...Last summer, she came to a few NKOTBSB shows, and knew I had seen her somewhere...with someone...I just..." Nick tried to act cool, I could tell. 

«Don't worry about it. We didn't exchange numbers, I didn't try to find you, you didn't try to get a hold of me and honestly, you were history to me the next day» Take this, Carter! Huh, not really. I was just trying to sound cool too. Thank god for alcool, I was nrevous as hell

«Is that why you spent the following days in your cabin?» He asked  

«What? Oh, no. Food poisoning actually. Don't flatter yourself».

«Yeah, that's what your friend said the next day when she was with 'him'» Nick said.

«You want my opinion? I think you were just avoiding me. You did kick me out, remember? And I don't recall you feeling sick that night». he added

Bastard.  

Playing with the handle of my now empty mug and still avoiding eye contact i said , «Avoiding you? No. Avoiding your tall and physically imposing girlfriend, yes».  

«Imposing? You are about the same height ... and huh size » he added, a bit of laughter in his voice.

«Did you see the muscles on her arms? Come on...»I paused, « No, seriously Nick, she was really nice to me that night, after my ex dumped me, right in front of you guys .. on my phone. It would have been awkward if I had run into her the next day...she probably would have asked how I was doing and I doubted I could have lied».  

«I'm sure you would have been great at it» he looked down, playing with his own mug.   Was Nick Carter blushing? He had lost his famous cocky attitude. He even looked...shy!  

«So...Why are you here, at a steakhouse, at this hour ? You left the party over an hour ago Nick. »

Nick took a long pause, staring at his mug. Had I gone too far with my simple question? I’m sure the look on my face gave him a hint that I was regretting my choice of words.

«Actually, my girlfriend –

«You mean Lauren?»

«Yeah. She’s giving me the silent treatment, sorta».

I didn’t know if I should ask ‘why’. He looked down. I simply stood up and got another cup of coffee. I grabbed his empty mug and got him a refill too. I don’t know if he wanted one, but it sure looked like he needed one. His hair was all flat from the wig he had been wearing earlier and his left hand was twisting stands of hair. What looked like a slightly-annoyed look on his face soon became a pissed off look. I didn’t know if it was a good idea to sit down (but hey, I was here first!) in front of him again.     

I set the cup of coffee in front of him. I reached for my small purse and thought about leaving, but his hand on my wrist told me otherwise.

«Please, don’t go» he said.

«Nick, you need to go back to your cabin. Or to the party. You can’t stay here, they will find you eventually. Your bodyguard is not in sight, they’d eat you alive.»

«Not if I offer to buy out the place for a little while. They’ll put the key in the door », he added.

«Alright then. Have a good night Nick» I said. I took one last sip and settled the mug on the counter. I was finally able to reach for my purse.

«Hannah, wait. I need to talk to someone»

«Don’t you have a best friend, or a bodyguard or I don’t know, a band member you could talk to?» I asked, puzzled.

«Yes I do, but I already know what they’ll tell me to do. Maybe I don’t want to hear it. Maybe I just feel like talking to you. I don’t know you a whole lot, but talking to a girl is easier.Please, sit».

I knew I’d probably regret it later, but I sat down. Nick stood up and went to talk to the manager of the restaurant and came back.

«Alright, before you start talking, I just want to know if you’re looking for advice or a shoulder to cry on Nick. I’m not sure why you want me here but I need to know what you want out of this discussion». I said, looking at him straight in the eye, for the first time that night.

Sighing, he said «I…huh…I just need to get it out of my system so I can pretend like nothing is wrong tomorrow. It’s super late, or early, I lost track of time. And until I talk it out or hit the gym and kill it, I won’t be able to sleep, no matter how many pills or drinks I swallow».

«So, let me get this straight. You need some sort of help with Lauren but don’t want to ask someone you know because you already know what they’ll tell you…»

«Yeah. Since you don’t know my girlfriend all that much, maybe you’ll be able to give me advice without, you know, saying the obvious, or…huh…getting the wrong idea…» Nick added.

«Totally. So, why is she giving you the silent treatment?» He wanted to talk? There!

«Basically, she’s pissed at me for dragging her along with me on the cruise».

«Why? Didn’t she have a great time last year?» I asked, without thinking.

«Oh she did. Thing is, she was supposed to go to New York City with her girlfriends. She had her weekend all figured out; shopping, sightseeing, eating out. But then, management strongly suggested she’d come. Turns out fans don’t like seeing me drinking and they have this idea that when she is with me, I keep it down. Fans are worried because I gained a little bit of weight and they think I’m back doing drugs and drinking».

«Well, do you?» I asked

«Of course! But nothing compared to what it was like a few years back. I enjoy drinking with my people. Lauren is always getting plastered and hammered whenever we go out. I find it hard not to do the same. Besides, I can fucking drink if I want to. I’m not going out every night and doing blows every day. I’m good now. It pisses me off, thinking management makes me do things that I don’t want to do». Nick added

I simply looked at him while he was talking. I was trying to figure out what he meant by ‘the obvious’. I was still dressed in my 80s outfit and my tights were starting to itch. I reached down and managed to get them off without him noticing anything. My skirt was long enough to cover a little bit of leg. I had them in a ball in my right hand and considered placing the fabric in my tiny purse. Nick looked at me, with an eyebrow raised. Then I realised he was waiting for me to say something. I mind had gone elsewhere with the tights situation.

«Right. You’re saying you didn’t want Lauren here with you ?»

«Yeah. Exactly. She’s great, but this is a fan event. I’m not Brian; I don’t drag my girlfriend everywhere I go. He can’t decide on his own. Fuck, she has his balls in her bag – it’s called a purse Nick! (mocking Leighanne). She has him do whatever he wants. I need my space.» Nick said

I laughed a little at his impression of Brian’s girlfriend and said, «And you couldn’t say no?»

«Well, after the meeting with management, I told Lauren what they had advised me to do and she got mad. She could of said NO! Fuck, why is she making this all about her? »

He was right. She could have said NO and gone on her trip with her friends. She decided to tag along and go with what management had suggested.  «And it’s your fault she’s here?»

«Yep, pretty much. I huh, I didn’t want her here but couldn’t tell her that, right? I simply said she could fly to NYC as planned and that’s when things got ugly» Nick confessed.

«Ugly?» I asked

«Huh huh» He said, looking down at his mug.

«How so?» I continued

«Well, since we’re being honest…Lauren found out about huh…you know…you and huh, me last year, at least I think she did».

«Excuse me, what? Nick, you can’t be serious! It’s impossible. You said she wouldn’t! How…when…why?»

«I don’t know how much she knows, but I know she knows something sorta happened»

I motioned to stand up but his eyes told me not to. «And she didn’t dump your ass?» I asked

«No…I, huh, I’d done it before and well, she knew. She doesn’t like it, but she puts with it when I…huh, when I misbehave…yeah. I know…» Nick said.

«I can’t stay here. I thought kicking you out of my cabin that morning was a good move. Judy was my only worry and she still doesn’t know anything».

«You didn’t tell her? Why?» Nick asked, looking seriously disappointed

«Nick, really...I—

«No, I wanna know why you still haven’t told her. Not to brag but usually girls talk about me all over the internet…» He added shyly.

«I’m not telling you. And there’s nothing to tell, really. We had sex, that’s it. I don’t usually talk about people I hook up with»

Nick laughed a little and gave me this funny accusing look, «nothing to tell? Really…»

How did he manage to make this conversation about me now. I didn’t like where this was going. I was pretty sobered up now and didn’t want to put my foot in my mouth. He was pretty pissed about the whole situation, but his body language was telling me otherwise. «Nick, let’s go back to your story now. I think Lauren was just insecure. She didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, she’s just insecure you’re gonna do it again. And she can always go to New York next week, no?»

«That’s the thing, though. I was a good boy all year. Well, most of the year. She has nothing to be insecure about, right?» Nick convinced himself

«Right!» I said, smiling at him.

«Unless…» He added

«Unless what?» I asked

«Unless you’d want to…you know…do it again» he smirked

«Nick, Are you kidding me? No!»

«I was just joking, don’t worry. I’m glad you didn’t say Oh yes, Nick, take me right here on this very table» Oh my gosh, he was mocking me!

I motioned over the table to plant my hand over his mouth, before the manager heard anything. He grabbed my wrist and said «Huh, Hannah, I can see down your shirt. Hmm, no bra? That’s not how they did it in the 80s. But for the record, they still look pretty good from this angle». I hit him in the arm , sat back and stuck my tongue at him. «Alright, so where is Lauren anyway? Was she at the party earlier?» I asked, laughing. He then told me she had been gambling his money away at the Casino ever since they had set foot on the boat.

Gambling HIS money away. He didn’t sound too happy about it. Not because it was HIS money, but because she wasn’t being seen with him. Or so I assumed.

It was now 5:47 am and it was starting to be pretty quiet in the halls. Most of the girls had  gone back to their cabins and it had been nearly an hour since the last footsteps in the hallway. I was facing the windows, in case you’re wondering. Unless someone walked in the restaurant, they wouldn’t see Nick and his blonde-mess-of-hair.

I hadn’t heard from Judy. Well, I couldn’t really. I had learned my lesson last year: my phone bill from the last cruise went up in the two hundreds…for 4 days. This time around, I turned off most of my apps and the 3G thingie and the data instant upload. Judy hadn’t called but I knew where she was; in our cabin with her guy. Or maybe his cabin…

«Where on earth did you get a Swatch Watch? I never realised they were still around» Nick said.

«Actually, it’s the one I used to have as a teenager». I replied

Considering it was pretty late (or early…) conversation had run dry. Small talk can only go so far, right?

«Aight. I gotta get up in 2 hours» he said.

I grabbed my purse and stood up. This was my cue. I needed to head back and try to sleep a little because I had a shuttle to catch to get to the beach party. I had promised Judy I would take pictures. Then I realised my sunglasses would be my best friend.

«Thank you Hannah. I’m glad you stayed. I owe you one» he said, while attempting to slide off the booth. He stood up and gave me a quick hug.

«Duck!» I yelled

«Huh? Where-»

«Nick! Sit» I said, pushing him so he’d sit. «There’s 2 girls, right there. Hold on. I’ll be right back».

«Shit» he sighed.

«I got it». I went to the door, turned the lock and opened it halfway . The first girl, drunk off her ass, asked me if we were open. I looked at her with my best ‘You-think-I-work-here’ face, but then realized that I had no other choice than to say yes. «huh, we’re opening in 15 minutes». Pissed off, that’s what she was (and in desperate need of caffeine). And they left. Thank God. I locked the door, grabbed Nick by the arm and told him he needed to leave. He had 15 minutes.

«Alright, I’m two floors down. Let’s go». He said.

«What? »

«Let’s go. I got your purse, now let’s go».

Nick waved at the manager and they exchanged something that looked like a nod. We headed out and ran to the elevators, tiptoeing. I’m sure it was funny to watch. He pressed his floor number but never asked for mine. What the hell?

We both leaned against the wall. Quit Playin’ Games was playing, elevator style. Nick looked up, noticed the mirrored ceiling and grinned.

«Thanks again. Still pissed, but ya know…»

«Hey, I do this all the time. (Pause). When a patient is diagnosed with cancer, I usually am the only other person in the room. They’re pretty quiet at first, but then, they start talking. Funny how a 10 minute frame provides so much information about a person’s life. Kids, wife, pets, jobs, debts, hopes, fears. Telling a man the age of your dad he’s got cancer is not my favorite part of the job!» I shared.

Chuckling, Nick said «And we all know what your favorite part is».

«What? No! Come on! »

Nick couldn’t stop laughing. I was tired to I started laughing too. He looked at me for a few seconds and the doors opened. I got out first, strenching out  my arm as if I was protecting a little kid.

«Wait here. Ok…It’s safe. What number are you?» I told him.

«Third door to your right, next to the flower pot» He informed me.

«Alright, coast clear. Go!»

«You’re coming with me». Nick grabbed my arm (yes, he was still holding my purse) and we ran to his door. He got his room card, slid it in and opened it. He pulled me in, kicked his shoes off and flicked the lights on.

«Ok, that was fun and everything, but I gotta go now». I said.

«She’s not here» Nick looked around.

«Oh I see…Nick, just so you know, I’m not- »

«She’s not here. She’s really pissed at me. Yeah, pissed…» Nick sat on the corner of his bed.

Ok. I felt stupid now. I thought he wanted to, well, you know. I’m glad he cut me mid-sentence. I would have made a fool of myself. What was I supposed to do now, comfort him? Heck no.

«Nick…huh…listen. Maybe she’s next door, in the little suite. Text her, I’m sure her phone is on. Maybe she just got tired of waiting for you to come back. Maybe-

«She’s probably staying with Jenn. Or Stacy. She does that on tour, if she’s mad at me. Or gets a room of her own…And in what, 4 hours, she’ll be glued to my ass backstage while I get ready to hit the stage on the beach. All for the cameras».

«Ok…» I didn’t know what to say

«I would kill for a cigarette. Got any?»

«No, I don’t. I don’t smoke Nick, I’m a doctor!»

«Right. I don’t suppose you have some stuff either…» he asked with an eyebrow raised

«I don’t do that stuff either. Sorry»

«Damn. And I’m out of booze» he added.

I sat on the floor, playing with my mesh skirt, wondering if now would be a good time to say good night to him. He moved off the bed and sat on the floor in front of me. Dangerously close.

«Nick, I should go now. You have a party to host, and I have a party to attend in a few hours» I said while looking at my watch.

«Fuck it. Stay. We could play Angry Bird on our iPhones?»

«Haha, right. No. As tempting as it sounds, I better get going. I have to take a shower and get ready for an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G beach party.

«Alright, I won’t keep you where you don’t wanna be. But wait. Before you get up, can I ask you one thing?»

«Yeah, sure. But I must warn you, it’d better not be anything related to my job mister»

«Ha, no, don’t worry» Nick said

«Ok, then what?»

«Can I kiss you Hannah?» he asked, his eyes never leaving mine

«Huh, not was I was expecting» I said, puzzled.

«So? Can I?»

I turned my head so he’d give me a kiss on my right cheek. His two hands grabbed my face on either side, his thumbs playing with my ear lobe while his fingers were massaging my head. His face approached mine with confidence. «Nice try Hannah» he whispered, his lips a few millimeters from mine. I was screwed. Couldn’t say no. Besides, I don’t think I wanted to say no. His lips brushed against mine, in the softest of kisses. His breathing was heavy, his nose nudging with mine. His lips were full, swollen with blood. It felt awesome. He lightly sucked on my bottom lip and I smiled into the kiss.  I felt like I couldn’t keep up even if he was being extra gentle. He tilted my head so I would open my mouth slightly. His tongue was warm and was playing with mine. My hands found his hair and the back of his neck. I had goose bumps on my arms,  I’m sure he felt it. He had me moaning like crazy when he nibbled on my bottom lip. Oh God.

Light-headed? Yes, I guess you could say I was… 

I felt a drop of cold and sticky liquid hit my nose. Some larger-than-life fan was standing next to me and her ice-cold drink was too close to my face for my liking. I refused to move, I am not a big fan of small talks. Pretending I was still asleep sounded like a good idea. I didn’t have to pretend for long; the hot sun and the light ocean breeze sent me to napville.

I got into a deep deep sleep. It felt awesome. I even dreamed about Jeff (remember him?). In my dream, we were still together, married with 2 kids, big house and a white picket fence. We even had a dog. I was a dentist (go figure…) and Jeff was still working for GSK but he was in Chicago, not in Germany. Life was good.

«Hannah, wake up. Hannah, girl, wake up! Hann! C’mon!» I heard Judy say.

I opened my eyes, Judy was up, drink in hand.

«C’mon, we are going to miss out on the action, we’ve got to move closer to the stage» she said.

«If I stand up, am I going to lose my chair?» I asked, trying to block the sun from my eyes with the back of my hand.

«Most likely» she said.

«Then I am not going anywhere!»

«Hannah, the boys are about to play some game, and I wanna be picked! Don’t make me beg »

«Jude, really? You’re basically dating someone who works for them, you get to be around them plenty»

«Not true. I haven’t officially met all of them»

«Define ‘officially’ ?» I laughed

«You know what I mean. Now will you please get your ass off that chair and follow me» Judy said.

So I grabbed my straw bag and reluctantly followed Judy. She lead me to the corner of the impromptu stage where the boys had gathered. We were next to the stairs and Judy waved to her guy. He came over, asking if we were having a good time and Judy whispered something in his hear and then gave him her best puppy dog eyes and pouty lip. He nodded nonchalantly and then went up the stage. I was happy for her, she was way more into them than I would ever be.

Judy unbuttoned her loose white shirt to reveal a tiny bikini and snaked her way close to Brian. Boy did she look happy. Aj hugged her and Howie shook her hand. The other girls also introduced themselves.

I looked at my iPhone; no Wi-Fi. I was happy in a way, Dr. Keaton (or should I say, Intern Keaton…) would not be able to iMessage me. Wait, let me rephrase that; I would not be able to get his iMessages…Thank you, airplane mode.

Nick came out with a bright orange t-shirt. He looked tired but was still drinking some girlie beverage (ok, anything IN a plastic cup, with a tiny colored straw is a girlie beverage in my book). He scanned the audience and grabbed a mike. My legs gave out and I sat on the first step of the stairs, not wanting sand crabs to pinch my behind.

I opened my straw bag and took out my Fifty Shades of Grey. I know, I know…Don’t judge me, okay? I had read a few pages (Oh, Christian…) when Judy’s man came my way.

«Yo, Hannah! C’mon!» he said, grabbing my arm

«Oh n-no, I’m good here»

«Don’t be silly, c’mon! I’ll even hold on to your bag for you»

«Get someone else, really, I’m good here. I can even sit someplace else if that’s a problem» I informed him. I was NOT going on that stage.

«Look, even AJ is wanting you on that stage» he said, AJ standing next to him, holding out his hand my way.

«Hey, camera girl! Come play with us» Aj said.

I grabbed his hand, knowing I’d regret it. Judy’s guy kept my straw bag (which he’d better take good care of, it’s a f*cking Burberry, thank you very much)and I climbed up on stage. Aj had his hand on my lower back and took me to where Judy was.

«Oh my God Hannah! That’s fucking awesome!! We’re going to be on everybody’s pictures. See those girls?! They SO want to be us right now!» Judy said, fanning herself.

«Great, I’m going to be on YouTube thanks to you»

«C’mon, could you please look like you’re having fun? »

«I am having fun Judy. I am a private person, you know me!» I said

Judy flashed her pearly whites and told me to remove my tank top. My bikini wasn’t as skimpy as Judy’s, so I didn’t mind taking what I had on. Nick kept trying to make eye contact with me but I wouldn’t let him. They informed us we would be playing Twister. Great.
Judy was the first one to play. I was the last one. Of course, all the easy body part/color spots were taken so I had no choice but to scoot over to Nick. He didn’t look at me nor did he try to make small talk.

The first five minutes were rather difficult. There were too many of us and not enough spots. We lost the first two players within minutes. Then Judy slipped and fell, and I followed. We watched the remaining players and Nick, the only boy left. AJ came over to us and asked us a few questions, you know, the usual where/when/what/why. Nick kept looking our way, but I ignored him. When the game was over, we all hugged one another and exchanged a few ‘thank yous’ and most of the girls left. Judy was holding my hand and gave a quick peck on her guy’s cheek. Nick was heading dangerously close to where we were standing and I tried to let go of Judy’s hand but of course, she wouldn’t let me.

«I get to have your phone number now» Nick whispered in my ear.

I looked at him and mouthed ‘no’ and smiled. He hugged me (like he had everybody else) then hugged Judy . His left hand brushed through his hair, his eyes never leaving mine and he yawned.

«I can see your piercing» he whispered, his hair softly brushing against my cheek. I crossed my arm over my chest, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He grinned. Some beefy guy gave him another drink, which he accepted gladly. «It’s diet Sprite» Nick said, winking.

«Alright ladies, thank you for playing!» we heard through the speaker and we were escorted out. Judy got my bag from her man and we went back to our ‘area’. I went through my stuff and noticed my novel was missing. «Crap» I said. Judy questioned my sudden mood change and I went back towards the stage. I told Judy to stay where she was, that I had to get something I had left behind. When Judy’s guy finally saw me standing there, he came to the side of the stage and bent down.

«Everything alright Hannah?» he asked me

«My book –em, novel. You have it» I informed him.

«Oh, right. Hold on, I gave it to AJ. I’ll be right back» he said.

I looked up and saw AJ holding my book, reading the summary on the cover. Nick was next to him, whispering something that made him laugh. AJ turned around, so I couldn’t see what he was doing and Nick followed him. Great. Then, Judy’s man went over to them and must of said something funny because they both started laughing hysterically. They both looked my way and laughed some more. Great. Effin’ great. I waved shyly and they laughed some more.

I knew I should have left that book at home!