Fearful Renegade

One

December 28th 2011

AJ sat on the couch in his cottage, the fire was roaring in the fireplace as the cold ocean air blew against the house.  He looked outside and saw the wind and snow coming in off the ocean. His mind started to drift to a time much different than this…

November 2010

The music was loud and pounded against his chest, he looked around at the people as they chatted, danced and drank.  He looked down at the whiskey glass in front of him and wrapped his hand around it.  Bringing it to his lips he took a sip and let the liquid sit in his mouth before swallowing it.  It was a time to relax and sit back before the crazy rush of touring but all of that was the farthest from his mind.  The only thing he could think about these days was the crazy fan that sent him letters, called him at all hours and even left presents at his door.

As he took another sip of his Jack he got a funny feeling in his pocket.  He pulled the glass away and looked down.  When he saw the bump his cell made sitting in his pants he realized it was his phone.  Hesitantly he pulled it out of his pocket as he looked up.  He saw his band mate and friend Nick Carter sitting across from him playing touchy feely with his girlfriend.  His eyes went back to his phone and he looked at the number, it was blocked and his heart began to race. 

Was it her again? Was it even worth answering?  He went to put the phone back into his pocket when something in him made him think twice and he answered the call.  With a loud enough voice he spoke into his cell.

“Hello?”

“Is this Alexander Mclean?” A man asked

“Yes?” AJ replied hearing the voice was male and paying more attention.

“Do you know an Emily Stone?” The voice asked.

“Yes, she’s my girlfriend, who is this?” AJ asked.

“This is Detective Snyder I need you to come to Cedar Sinai hospital.” The man told him.

“Why?” AJ replied confused.

“There was a break in at your house and she was attacked.” The Officer told him. AJ quickly hung up the phone and stood up from the table as the people around him looked at him confused. 

“Hey man where are you going?” Nick asked a little tipsy.

“I gotta go, something happened to Emma, god damn bitch broke into my house.” AJ growled with anger as he left the table and left the club.

AJ drove as fast as he could to the Hospital, he prayed he didn’t get pulled over and busted for DUI.  He parked in the Emergency room and bolted out of the car.  When he arrived at the nurses’ station he told the woman who he was looking for and she told him to wait in the waiting room.  So he waited and waited and about a half hour later an Officer greeted him.

“What happened is Em okay?” He asked as the Officer approached him.

“She’s in stable condition, we’ll know more in about a half hour.” The man told him.

“What happened?” AJ asked a little breathless.

“From what we know your alarm went off and that’s when the alarm company sent an Officer over to check on things, they saw the front window broken and when they went inside the found Emily on the floor by the stairs.” Officer Snyder said as AJ sat down in disbelief.  “She was unconscious, had injuries consistent with physical assault and injuries accruing during a fall or most likely a push down the stairs.

“C-Can I see her?” AJ asked as he looked up at the man.

“Yes” He replied with a nod and AJ stood up.

He followed the Officer through the ER up pale wooden door, the man stopped and turned to look at him.  “She’s in here.”

AJ lightly smiled as the man stepped back and AJ walked into the room.  He saw her sleeping or at least her eyes were closed.  She had bruises around her face, eyes, and mouth.  There were scratches everywhere and even some dried blood still in her hair.  Slowly he walked over to her and took her hand.

“I’m so sorry” He whispered as he let out a small whimper.  As he took her hand he sat down on the chair by the bed.  He held her hand against his face as he sobbed for her.  He blamed himself for this, his career, his job, put her in this kind of danger, and if this stalker was willing to do this to Emily who knows what she would do to him.  He stayed by her all night and when she woke in the morning,

“Hey Boo” He said with a light relieved smile as he brushed the hair from her face but then he noticed the look in her eyes.  “You okay? Need me to get the Doctor?” He asked a starting to panic a little.

“I can’t do this” She whispered.

“Do wha..”

“I can’t do this anymore Alex, the gifts, the phone calls, and now…this is just too far…”

“Em, you’re okay and we’ll get some security…”

“You said she wasn’t a threat, you said she was harmless, and she’s not Alex, no, no no I can’t do this, I need to think about me…”  She said lightly shaking her head as she pulled her hand away.

“Well okay then you can go stay with your Sister or something until this…”

“No, Alex, I could have died last night…I…I…I can’t I’m sorry.”

“Emily”

“Please go” She said.  “Please just go”

When he walked into his house he realized he couldn’t deal with it anymore, he didn’t want to live in fear, he didn’t want to live in worry, and he didn’t want suffer anymore.  It wasn’t worth it, it was what he loved to do but it just wasn’t worth it.

Just over two years had passed since he left the group, left his friends and even his family and moved to some place with seclusion.  He found himself in British Columbia, Canada.  In a small town on the coast of Vancouver Island called Parksville, he bought a small cottage and tried to start over, even quitting smoking because going outside was just not an option when he first got here.  His Mother only knew his phone number, she didn’t know his address and the only time he saw her or she saw him was for a week in the summer and this Christmas.  He had just gotten back from being down there for the Holiday. Not even the guys knew how to get in touch with him. 

If they didn’t know then she didn’t know either. 

Something touched his hand and he looked down.  With a smile and a pat on the head AJ said hello to his Great Dane Dew.  Dew was by far the biggest dog he had ever owned and sometimes he could be a handful but he was also the only friend AJ had.  Living alone wasn’t easy especially since he spent so much time running from it in the past but now he didn’t have a choice, he didn’t want anyone else to get hurt or worse.

He was glad to be back here, this place was nice, and the people were nice.  If any of them knew who he was they never made mention of it.  After he moved here the solitude was getting to him, so he went in search of a friend and that’s when he got Dew.  The dog got him to go outside, he got him interacting with the people of the town but there was one, a girl named Siannah, she’s the town Vet, she also takes care of Dew when he goes to his Mothers.  She’s his age, an inch shorter than him, her hair is jet black and he assumed it’s dyed because he’s never seen natural hair that black before but he liked it, it really made her bright blue eyes pop.  She liked Rock new and old and she had a weird little obsession with anything Rat Pack.  Like Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. She loved Marilyn Monroe, Lucille Ball, and Betty Page and when he would see her out at the dog park or shopping at the grocery store, it’s kind of the style she put off but it was still very new and today.

But it was just friendship and nothing more.  It could be nothing more because the last thing he would want would be for something to happen to her.  He knew a lot about her but she didn’t know a lot about him besides what he had told her in conversations at the clinic or dog park, or when they ran into each other around town.  She knew his name and knew he left the group but as you can tell she wasn’t really a fan.  When she asked him one day why he left he told her.

“It was just time.”

He didn’t want her to know the truth and that was as close as he would let himself get to her.  No matter how many dreams he had or how many times she would softly smirk and tuck her hair behind her ear.  He would make sure they stayed just friends.

The muffled thumping of someone knocking on the screen door took his and Dew’s attention.   He put down his glass of wine and walked over to the door when he opened it he saw Siannah, shivering a little as she stood outside waiting.

“Jeez it’s windy one out there eh?” She said as he looked at her a little confused. “What that’s my Canadian accent.”

“Hi” He said with a smile and a laugh as he let her in.

“I know I’m a horrible Canadian but I eat enough donuts from Timmy’s to make up for it.”  She said as she walked in.

“So what’s up?” He replied still laughing a little.  “Aren’t you supposed to be going to see your family?”

“You forgot Dew’s wubbie at my house so I thought I would drop it off and no, all flights have been cancelled can’t get off the island, Dad called and said they’re snowed in until the trucks can get up to the cottages, even if I left tomorrow I doubt I could get up here.  So looks like I’m spending the weekend here.”

“Oh thanks” AJ said as he reached for it “Maybe that’s why he’s been pissy.”

Siannah lightly laughed as she handed him the toy but Dew saw it and immediately began softly jumping trying to get at it.  Well as softly as a Great Dane could.  AJ tossed the bright yellow toy across his living area and his dog went running after it.

“Well that’s crappy are you going to reschedule?” He asked.

“Probably not, won’t have time once the holiday is over, pretty busy at the clinic.” She said as he gave Dew a rub on the head.  “Speaking of which he’s due for his next set of shots.”

“Right” AJ replied with a nod.  “I’ll call Monday then and make an appointment.”

“Well I need to head out, going to get some stuff and hunker down in the house until I go back to work.” She said as she tightened her jacket. 

“Well, thanks for dropping the toy off.” He said as he opened the door for her.  The wind blew in and snow started falling into his house.  He looked outside and frowned.  “Are you sure you can drive in this?”

“Ha, California boy not use to a little snow?” She asked as she turned back to him.  Just then a huge snow plow came by and scrapped all the snow on the road past AJ’s drive way, making a Mt. Everest type hill behind her truck.  “Well what the hell.” She sighed throwing her hand gently into the air as they both watched the plow continue down the street.

“Ha, little Canadian girl not use to a little snow.” He replied jokingly at her. 

“Can I use your shovel?” She asked clearly annoyed.

He looked at her for a moment.  It was snowing, blowing, whistling, and cold.  Was his stalker really out there in that shit watching, would it really matter if he just let her stay until the storm stopped and she could get her truck out. Who’s to say the crazy bitch even followed him here. He wished he would stop being so damn paranoid cause he really wanted to her to stay; it would be nice just to chat with someone for a little while.

“Alex?” She said again and it broke him from his thoughts.

“Why don’t you just chill here till the storm passes, then we’ll work on getting the truck out.” He said even though he felt himself get nervous and worried he pushed it down.

“Okay” She replied and he heard the uncertainty in her voice.

Fearful Renegade

Two

“That is just not right. So wrong.” Siannah laughed shaking her head.

“Hey, they were the ones sitting in my bathroom eating fucking Pizza.” He replied a little defensive. 

He watched as she continued to giggle as she brought up the glass of wine and took a sip.  It was now well into the night and the storm still hadn’t let up.  He was kind of glad the storm was still going.  It was nice to be able to sit down and talk to someone again.  His thoughts were broken when she turned and looked out the window.

“Damn, it still hasn’t let up.” She sighed as she turned back around.  “Maybe I should just suck it up and start shoveling.”

As he spoke he tried to stop the words from falling out of his mouth.  “Or you could stay here.” She looked at him with a little bit of shock.  “I mean even if you did shovel you still have to drive in it.” He told her.  “I have extra blankets and pillows up stairs; you can crash on the couch.”

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude.” She said with a light shake of her head.

“Sia, you’re not.  It’s crazy out there; I wouldn’t want you trying to get home in that and getting stuck.” He told her.  “I can’t promise Dew won’t try to get frisky while you’re sleeping.”

Siannah lightly laughed and he waited for her answer. “Okay” She replied.

“Sweet.” He said as he stood up.  “More wine then?”

“Sure” She said as she handed him her glass.

AJ walked over to the kitchen, he picked up the bottle and began pouring fresh wine into the glasses.  When he was done he corked the bottle back up and headed back over to the couch.

“You know” She said as he handed her the glass she had.  “I may be the farthest thing from a Backstreet Fan but even I know you shouldn’t be drinking with me.”

“Yeah” AJ sighed.  “I know I shouldn’t be but it’s not like it was back then, I live here now, a nice small quiet town, no parties, no pressure.  Besides you didn’t say anything when I handed you the first glass.” He said a little defensive.

“I’m not your babysitter.” She replied with a light smile and then took another sip.  “This place is really nice.” She said as she looked around.  “They don’t look like this on the outside.”

“I know that’s what I love about it.  It looks like a small cottage from the front but when you walk in you see living room, the kitchen and island, the spiral staircase up to the loft, the back door, you see everything when you first walk in.”  He told her.

“So what made you come all the way up here?” She asked as he looked at her over his glass.

He thought about what to say.  Pulling the glass away he answered.  “When the group ended, I just decided I wanted some time alone, it was a crazy ride and now I just want to sit back and enjoy the quiet.”

Sure it was a lie but not all of it was a lie.  In a strange ironic twist forcing himself to go into seclusion actually made him learn to enjoy it.  No one calling and bugging to see how he was doing and if he was okay, no Dad popping in and out, and no fans asking for a picture or to sign something.

“Have you thought about what to do next?” She asked.

Maybe this was a bad idea; he was so caught up in talking that he forgot about the questions, questions he just didn’t want to answer. He started to fight with what he wanted to say, making sure it didn’t lead to more questions.

“Not really” Was all he came up with.

“Cool, well at least you got the money to figure it out.” She replied jokingly.

He light smiled.  “Yeah”

Dew whined and AJ looked over at him.  He wanted out.  With a sigh he stood up and headed to the back door.  His place wasn’t fenced in but Dew was well trained and knew to stay by the house.  Sometimes he would go a little far exploring but one call and he was back.

“Do you have any animals at your house tonight?” He asked.  He had kind of forgotten that she would take some of the animals into her home, if they needed an extra night.

“Nope, not during the holidays.” She replied shaking her head.

“But you took Dew?” He said a little confused.

“Well, Dews special.” She replied with a light smile. 

A loud thump at the door made both of them jump and AJ spun around.  He saw his large beautiful Great Dane lying against the door starting to stand up.  Puzzled he looked out further and saw the ice.  Realizing the dog was running to come in, slipped on the ice, and hit the door he turned to Siannah.

“Definitely special” He replied and she chuckled.  Pulling open the door he let the dog in and Dew stopped inside and shook off the snow.  When AJ closed the door he patted the snow his dog had left him off his legs. 

“So is it always like this?” He asked as he walked back over to her.  “I didn’t really pay much attention to the weather last year, was inside unpacking mostly.”

“In the winter we get storms like this because we’re on the Island. It’s all caused by the Ocean, cold winds coming down from Alaska, Russia, the Arctic, all the warm air coming up from California, and voila.”  AJ smiled.  “But it’s mostly rain and ice storms we get here.”

“How long have you been here?” He asked.

“About five years, finished school, didn’t want to work in the city so I looked around and found this place.”  She said.  “I had been here couple of times when I was little for vacation with my Family.”

“That’s pretty shitty about missing out on the holidays because of this.” He told her.

“Well usually we have it at my Parents place in Vancouver but my Brother wanted it at his place up by Whistler for some reason this year, my parents and brothers are there already but I had to stay because of the clinic. Oh well what can ya do?” She replied with a light smile and a shrug.

“How many Brothers do you have?” He asked because he had heard her mention at least 2 different names before.

“4” She replied.

“Wow”

“Yeah, I learned to get tough quick.” She replied with a laugh.  “There’s Me, Josh, Randall, David and Bret.”

“Bret’s the oldest?”

“Yup” She replied with a nod as she took another sip of wine.

AJ took a sip of his wine and looked over at Siannah when she yawned.  “Tired?” He asked.

“What time is it?” She asked.

“Twelve thirty” He told her.

“Wow” She said as she showed surprise on her face and he titled his head a little.  “Way past my bedtime.”

“Oh” He didn’t realize at the time, she would have to get up early to open the clinic and get it ready for the day.  “Well I’ll go upstairs and get you those things.” He said as he put down his glass and stood up.

AJ made his way up the spiral staircase to the small door way that lead into the loft section, where his room was.  He opened one of the tall wardrobe dressers he had and pulled out a blanket and grabbed a pillow from the bottom.  Why he had extra he didn’t know.  When he came back down he noticed she cleaned everything up and put the glasses in the kitchen.

“Well here ya go” He said as he handed her the blankets. 

“Thanks” She replied as she took them.

“Do you want me to take Dew with me?” He asked.

“Naw it’s alright, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” She said with a light smile.

“Okay, well goodnight.” He said to her as he started to head back upstairs.

“Night” She replied.

AJ walked up the stairs as he heard her settling onto the couch below.  He wanted to look back but what if she was looking at him, what would she get from that? And he couldn’t give her any misconceptions.  He walked into his room and changed for bed; he walked over and pulled down the blankets as he crawled into it.  As he lied there staring at the ceiling a thought popped into his mind. 

“Wait…why would she be watching me walk up the stairs? Was she watching me walk up the stairs?”  And then a feeling of regret came over him for not looking.  “No, no not getting involved, who cares if she looked, just friends so no one will get hurt.” His mind fought back but his heart was lonely and it shouted.  “She cares about you; you know that by now.”

His heart and mind raced for the rest of the night and it wasn’t the first time since he meet her and got to know her that these battles would take place when he was home thinking about her.  He wasn’t sure how long it took him to fall asleep but it seemed like forever.  When he finally did fall asleep his heart played tricks with his mind as he slept.  Images of her and him together alone in his bed, images of walks with Dew in the dog park, and by the time he woke the next morning, his heart had won the battle. 

Pulling off the covers he reached for clean clothes from his dresser and began to get dressed. When everything was zipped up, pulled down and flattened he walked out of his room and stopped at the landing.  He looked down at the couch and saw the blankets folded and a note sitting on top.  He quickly walked down the stairs and over to the nice neat pile.  Picking up the note, he opened it and his eyes scanned the words as he read them.

“I think another plow went by last night, the pile wasn’t as bad this morning, so I cleared it out.  Thanks for letting me crash and drink all your wine.” And he smiled at the happy face she drew.  “Don’t forget to call my clinic for Dew. See ya soon, Siannah.”

AJ sighed as he looked away.  Maybe this was a good thing, he shouldn’t let her in, and it was safer for her.  His heart backed away as his mind calmed the emotions that ran through him.  When he felt something nudge his leg he looked down and saw Dew looking up at him.  He walked over to the back door and opened it; the dog went running outside ready to play in the new snow.  He jumped into the giant pile of snow and then would snap around at the falling flakes he kicked up.  AJ laughed as he watched.  When his dog came back in he closed the door and headed over to the couch, turning on the TV.

Fearful Renegade

Three

December 30th 2011

The sun was shining and reflected with a blinding brightness on the snow below.  His eyes squinted against it so he reached into his pocket and pulled out his sunglasses.  It was warmer than it had been yesterday or during the giant snow storm the day before that.  He turned to the door and shouted.

“Dew let’s go buddy!”

The dog came running out of the house and headed right to the Dodge Ram Laramie in the drive way.  AJ locked up the house and then walked over to his truck; he unlocked it and opened the back door for Dew.  The dog eagerly jumped in and AJ frowned as the wet paws hit the back leather seats. 

“I need covers” He sighed remembering for the eighteenth time. Closing the door to the back seats he opened the driver’s side and climbed in. Tossing Dew’s leash on the passenger seat beside him he started the truck and sat there for a moment, letting it warm up. He looked in the review mirror to the dog lying down on the back seat.  He smiled as he pressed on the break and put the truck into reverse.  Looking out his mirror he checked everything before pulling out of the driveway. 

He followed the roads and made his way to the community dog park.  It was a large field on the outskirts of town and it gave Dew a chance to run around.  He tried to get out there every couple of days.  When he hit the edges of town he saw the parking lot and noticed it was empty except the lone car pulling out.  The person drove pass and gave him a wave and he politely waved back.  Turning into the lot he got the spot right at the entrance and parked the truck.

When he and Dew where both out of the vehicle, he remotely locked the doors and turned on the alarm, not that he had to in this town.  The dog made a dash for the gate knowing this was the place he could go to let it all out.  He was gone in a flash running around the snow as AJ walked through the entrance.  Noticing his hands were getting a little cold he put his them in his pockets, not ready to use the gloves yet.

He liked coming out here with Dew, the view of the town, the trees surrounding you, and the sound of the Ocean in the close distance.  Remembering he brought the yellow wubbie out for him to play with he quickly walked back to the truck and unlocked it.  As he closed the door after retrieving the toy AJ heard a car pull in.  He looked through his windows and saw the familiar Chevy Silverado park beside him.  Walking around the front of the truck he waited for Siannah to get out. 

“Hi” She said as she closed the door.

“Hey” He replied a little shocked to see her out at this time.  Usually she did her walking in the evening.  Looking back he checked on Dew and saw him rolling around in the snow, he rolled his eyes at how childish that dog could be. 

“Looks like he’s having fun” She said right beside him.

He turned and looked at her.  “Yup” It was then he noticed the two dogs on leashes ready to hit the park.  She bent down and unhooked their leashes.  AJ followed her back inside the back and he watched as the two dogs and Dew began sniffing each other.

“The volunteer at the clinic was sick so I had to come in and give these guys a day walk.” She told him as he looked back at her.

“Well it’s a nice day out.” He replied.

“Yeah” She nodded. “Hey are you going to the New Years Eve party at the community center?”

“Huh?” He replied and then he remembered the posters that hung in the grocery store.  “Oh, naw probably not.” He replied.

“You’re not going to spend New Year’s Eve alone are you?” She asked with a light laugh.

“Well I’ll hardly be alone Dew will be with me.” He said as he looked to his dog, Dew’s head shot up as he blew some snow out of his nose.

“Seriously Alex come to the party, it’s not a complete bore I swear.” She replied and it kind of made him smile on the inside that she wanted him to go.

“Hey spending New Years Eve alone isn’t all that bad besides, I’ve had many New Years Eves where I’m with thousands of people, it’s kind of nice.” He said to her lying a little.

“Okay” She said with a small frown.  “But if you change your mind, I’m heading there around nine.”

There was a long silence and he looked for something to talk about because he didn’t want the conversation to end but he didn’t want to talk about the party or going out.  His eyes darted over to her she was wearing a long thick wool grey jacket, she had on matching grey leather gloves, her boots also grey went up to just below her knees where her jacket ended.  Her hair was twisted along the side and collected into a black flower like clip with netting that held the rest of her hair. Her lips were red with lipstick but it wasn’t the shiny glossy lipstick, it was the stuff that looked like it stained her lips.  He didn’t know he knew eye liner and nail polish.  Her sunglasses were like something Audrey Hepburn would wear and it covered the usual cat’s eye eyeliner style she wore no matter how her makeup was styled.

“Well, I should head back.” She said as she turned to him. 

“Okay” He replied a little disappointed.

“Guess I’ll see you around” She replied giving him a light smile.

“Yeah of course” He said returning the smile and adding a nod.

Siannah whistled for the dogs and they came running back, AJ noticed Dew followed.  She reached down and leashed them up and then headed to her truck.  He gave her a wave as she pulled out and she wave back.  When she was gone he looked back down to Dew.  The dog was playing with his wubbie still in AJ’s hand.  Pulling it away AJ pulled back his arm and let the weird cloth wrapped rubber toy fly through the air.  Dew quickly spun around and headed for it. 

AJ sighed.  “Was she asking me out? Or just asking me to go?” He thought.  Dew came back with his toy and dropped it in front of him.  Bending down AJ picked it up and gave it another good toss.  “What if she was asking me out and I just shot her down with some lame ass excuse about spending New Years Eve alone.” He sighed again.  “Naw, she wasn’t asking me out.” He thought as he lightly shook his head. “Was she?”

His mind and heart wrestled with that question the rest of the day and night.  Again his heart play tricks on his mind to get the upper hand for the morning.  Pictures of them dancing, drinking, laughing and then the kiss at midnight, flashed throughout his mind the entire night.  His body wanting to feel, touch, and be touched again took his mind and the kiss all the way back to his house, to his living room and then too his bed.

When he woke the next morning his heart had won again and this time his mind didn’t talk him out of it.  After breakfast he took Dew for another run around the park just in case she was there but she wasn’t.  When he got home he went up to his room, to the closet and walked in.  He searched through the rows of hanging clothes for something suitable.  Something black and stylish and he lightly smiled when he found the suit he was looking for.  Her grabbed a red shirt and decided to go tie-less tonight.  Taking shoes from the shelf near the front of the closet he walked out and laid the clothes out on the bed.  He also made sure to search for his dress coat, since his puffy red winter one wouldn’t look so good.

The rest of the day was spent cleaning; making sure his place was presentable.  Although it’s not like he had late night parties and all night pizza binges.  Then when it was time he started getting ready.  He took a shower, he shaved he did the normal ‘getting ready for a date routine.’

“It’s not a date” He thought to himself.  “She just wanted to know if I was going and if I changed my mind she would be there.”

When he was done he jogged down the stairs and saw Dew lying on the couch, he brought up his giant head, his sad but happy eyes looked up at him, and his ears stood tall. “Well I think I still clean up pretty damn nice” He said as he looked in the mirror above the fireplace and then too Dew, the dog just stared at him.  AJ walked over to his back door and let the dog out, he closed it, headed over to the wine fridge and opened a bottle.

His nerves were starting to get to him.  Thought about whether the stalker would find out.  He didn’t want anything to happen to Siannah, it wasn’t like he wanted anything to happen to Emily either but this is why he was out here, to get away and now he was possibly going to let someone in.  Taking a sip from the glass he looked over when he noticed Dew was standing at the door.  Putting the glass down he walked over to it and opened it.

“You better not shit while I’m gone; I’m not rushing home tonight so I can let you out.” He said as the dog walked in and lied down in his spot between the fireplace and couch.

“Alright” He sighed as he walked over and took one last look. “I think I’m ready” He walked over to his closet and grabbed his dress coat putting it on.  Pulling his keys from the hook he made sure he had his wallet and then set the door and window alarms.  He left the house, locked it and headed to his truck.  He looked around and noticed how cold it was.  He couldn’t figure out how they calculated temperature out here but this month it had been in the minus for weeks.

“Whoa that’s cold!” He said as he slammed the truck door.

With a shiver and a moan he started his car and impatiently waited for the heat to come on.  When he was warm again, he buckled up and pulled out of the drive way.  He drove through the town and made his way near the dock where the community center was located.  He saw her truck when he was pulling in and found himself smiling that she was there already.

Fearful Rengade

Four

When he walked in the front doors he heard the music thumping and saw a small table with a woman who worked with Siannah at the clinic and he had seen her out with Siannah too. She was taking the cover charge so he waited for his turn and walked up to the table.

“Hi Alex, it’s so nice to see you here.” She said with a smile as he handed her the money.  “Have fun tonight” She replied as he smiled at her.

“Thanks” He replied and then headed into the large dance hall. 

It was weird he wondered if this is what high school was like, walking into the gym for the big end of the year party.  Except there wasn’t just kids there, there were people his age, older, and even a few seniors in the mix.  He smiled wondering if that would be him in those years. His eyes began the search; he wondered where she would be.  It was kind of dark with the only lights being the ‘club’ type lights dancing around the room. 

He made his way over to where they had the bar on the one side of the room and ordered a beer.  Then he began to walk around the room, saying hello to people he barely knew but had seen them around town time and time again.  And then he looked over to a table by the dance floor, she was sitting at it, her face illuminated by the screen of her phone.  He noticed she was typing something.  He took a sip from the bottle and made his way over to her. 

She must have noticed him approach because she looked up and her face showed shock.  “Hi” She spoke.

“Hi” He replied as he stopped by the chair beside her. “Can I sit?”

“Sure” She replied as she put down her phone and sat up a little.  “So you changed your mind eh?” She asked.

“You said eh” He smiled and she rolled her eyes.

“We all say eh every now and then get over it.” She heckled and he lightly laughed. 

“At least there’s a DJ.” He said as he saw the man on the stage.

Siannah laughed very sarcastically and he looked at her confused.  “The Mayor’s Son thinks he has mad spinning skills.” She told him and he saw the detest on her face and the sarcasm in her tone.  It made AJ laugh and then she laughed too.

“Well I’m glad you came normally I wouldn’t even be here but with the storm and all.” She said with a sigh as she picked up her drink.

“So do you dance?” He asked as he nodded to the dance floor.

“I’ll slow dance but I don’t dance dance at least to this kind of music.” She replied as she swallowed her drink.

“Aww come on.” He said pouting.  “Not even a little”

“Nope” She replied shaking her head.

“Well you’re no fun” He replied pouting again.  She smirked and returned her eyes back to her glass; he sat there for a moment and waited.  Then when she put it down he gently took her by the wrist and pulled her up.

“Alex no really I don’t dance” She told him as he dragged her out to the dance floor.  He brought them out a little ways and then stopped, turning to face her.  It was then he saw what she was wearing.  A knee high black empire waist dress, white pearls adorned her neck, her hair was up in a fancy bun all tight and neat, with her bangs swooping across her brow.  He shook the shock from his head.

“Okay watch what I do it’s simple.” He said as he let go of her wrist.

“Alex” She sighed turning away.

“Watch watch.” He said grabbing her hands again and stopping her.

He heard her moan and then started with a simple step.  He looked up at her and she was just standing there.  “Please” He said as he pushed out his bottom lip.

“That’s not fair” She replied and he smiled.

“I know, now dance” He said to her as he started doing the step he showed her. Slowly she started to dance with him and he smiled again.  “There ya go you got it, I told you it wasn’t that hard.”  Siannah lightly laughed as she danced with him.  When the song ended they returned to their seats. 

“You did good out there kid” He nodded jokingly as he took a sip of his beer.

“Look out Broadway here I come” She replied as she did a little jazz hand motion.

“Well I wouldn’t go getting a big head about it.” AJ teased.

“Ass” She gasped as she smacked his arm and he started laughing. He caught himself staring, staring at that smile and then he looked away quickly before she busted him.  His eyes drifted back to his beer and for a moment he thought about what he was doing here but he pushed it away.  He wasn’t even here for an hour and he was having more fun than he had in year. 

“Oh I know I wrote it but thanks for letting me crash at your place the night of the storm.” She said over the loud music.

“No problem” He replied with a light smile. “I hope Dew was a good boy”

“Yes he was fine” She replied with a laugh.

“And this special song goes out to our favorite Vet, Ms Siannah Jenners.”  The DJ said and both AJ and her looked to the stage.  As Dean Martins Mambo Italiano blasted through the speakers AJ looked back at her and she was smiling.

“Now this is something I can dance to.” She said as she grabbed his wrist and stood up, dragging him to dance floor.  He was able to put down his beer just in time.  When she got to around the same spot they were in before she stopped and turned to him.  “Do you know how to Swing?” She asked.

“Swing?” He replied confused and then his eyebrows shot up slightly in surprise.  “You mean as in the dance?”

“Yeah” She replied with a nod.

He shook his head.  “No” And lightly laughed.

“Okay, watch me.” She said as she nodded for him to look at her feet.  She kicked her foot in and out as she swayed her hands back and forth to the beat.  “And then you do it with the other foot.”

“Okay” AJ replied unsure but on the count of three did it with her.  They preformed that step a couple of times and AJ smiled as he started to get it.  She then showed him another move and then another.  Soon he was dancing away with the few steps she had taught him.

“I must say not bad for your first time” She replied as they walked back to the table.

“Ha, flash back to when I lost my virginity.” He laughed as he followed her.

“Ugh god Alex I didn’t need to know that” She replied as she looked back at him.

“Are you thirsty?” He asked still giggling a little.

“Yes” She replied as she looked over to the bar.

“That’s pretty cool you can swing dance” AJ told her as they waited for someone to take their order.

“I can Jive, Jitter Bug, I mean I’m not a professional but those dances always seemed so fun to me.”

“Seriously?” He said as his eyebrows rose in interest.

“Next time we see each other at the dog park I’ll show ya.” She said with a smile and he smiled back at her.

“Another White Freezie Sia?” The bartender asked.

“Please” She replied with a nod and then she looked back at AJ.  “Another beer?”

“Actually I’ll take a Jack and Coke” He told her and then she told the events bartender.  When they got their drinks they went back to their table and sat down.  “You know I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those?”

“Try it” She said handing him her glass.

He took it from her and took a sip. “Nice” He replied.  “Wow really is like a White Freezie” She nodded as she took back her drink.  As he put his glass down he looked at his watch and saw the time.  It was about an hour and a half till midnight. 

The two sat and talked, well mostly Siannah talked and he listened.  She told him who certain people were and a little bit about the town.  When they finished a drink they would go up and get more and then sit back down.  Soon both of them were feeling really good and AJ noticed with each drink she got closer and closer to him.  He was absolutely enjoying himself.  Maybe a little openness couldn’t hurt, this stalker was still being looked for, and he’s all the way in Canada.  His eyes darted to Siannah and a memory of the dream from the night before flashed in his mind. 

“Alright ladies and gents almost that time” The DJ announced.  “Everyone on the floor”  There were cheers and the room got louder as everyone got excited to ring in the New Year.  Grabbing his glass he stood up, Siannah took his hand and they walked out to the dance floor.  The giant screen that had been showing videos all night cut into a live shot of downtown Vancouver.  People in the large city gathered at the event and all were focused on the large ball that hung above them.

“Alright here we go!” The DJ shouted into the mic and AJ looked beside him as Siannah cheered with the rest of the crowed in the room.  His hand slipped behind her and she looked at him, she smiled and they both looked back at the giant TV. 

“5…4…3…2…1!” Everyone shouted and then let out a giant cheer as the usually New Years Eve anthem rang through the speakers. AJ raised his class and cheered with the others and then he turned to Siannah. 

She looked at him and smiled. “Happy New Year Alex”

“Happy New Year Siannah” He told her and then without giving it another thought he leaned in kissed her.  It wasn’t a quick kiss nor was it a long passionate one but when he trapped her lips between his, he definitely felt something. 

“A toast” He said to her as he brought up his glass.

“To what?” She asked with a light smile.

“To a New Year…” He started to say stating the obvious.  “…and to new paths in life, one that I really did not see coming until I got there.”  Siannah lightly smiled as they touched glasses and then took a sip.  The music started and as a familiar slow song came on the radio he sighed.

“I knew I couldn’t get through the night without hearing something.”

Siannah started laughing but then she took him by the hand.  “This one’s not so bad.” She said pressing her body against his and started to slow dance with him as they held their glasses.

Fearful Renegade

Five

AJ fumbled with his keys in his frozen hands as he wobbled trying to stay up.  The trucks were still in the Community Center parking lot, taking a cab home from the dance.  Finally he got the key into the hole and opened the door; he punched the numbers into the key pad as Siannah walked in behind him closing the door.  Dew was up and over at them in no time.

“Whoa” AJ said as his dog greeted his drunken state.  “Alright, alright” He started laughing as he walked over to the back doors.  He opened them and let Dew outside closing it as the cold air blew in.  When he turned around he saw Siannah taking off her heels.  “Drink?” He asked.

“Sure” She replied. 

“I have beer and…”

“What are you having?” she asked.

“Straight Jack on ice.” He told her.

“I’ll have that then” She said as she sat down on the couch. He raised his eyebrows a little surprised not too many women drank straight Jack.  “You really like JD.”

“Yeah” He replied with a nod.

Pouring them each a glass he walked over and handed her one, he then set his down and started a fire.  When he sat down he took his glass from the table and took a sip. 

“So did you have fun tonight?” She asked as he looked at her.

“Yeah I did” He replied with a nod.

“So you’re glad you came then?”

“Yep” AJ nodded.

“Good” She replied with a smile.  “I have to admit I didn’t think you would show up, what made you change your mind?” She asked.

“You” He said and she looked at him.

“Me?” She said.

He nodded.  “Honestly, I started thinking maybe you had asked me because you wanted me to go with you and I gave you that really lame excuse about being ok with spending New Years Eve alone.”  He told her and she lightly smiled which confirmed to him she knew it was a lame ass excuse.

“Why do you spend so much time alone?” She asked and he looked at her. “You’ve been here a year and you barely know people and it’s not like this is a big city or even a big town when you take out all the part timers.”

He sat there for a moment, he wanted to tell her, and he wanted to be honest with her but what if she got scared? What if she didn’t want to deal with it like Emily?  When he felt her hand on his he looked up.  She took the glass from him and set it down.  She moved closer to him and then looked him in the eyes.

He took a deep breath.  “November of last year I was out with Nick at a club and I got a call from a police officer.  A few months before this I had been getting phones calls, letters, gifts, and threats and it really wasn’t anything major I’ve dealt with it before but…” He paused as he remembered that night.

“But what?” She asked.

“When the Officer called he told me my house had been broken into and my girlfriend at the time Emily had been assaulted.” He told her and he saw her frown.  “She was beaten up and tossed down my staircase, when she woke up the next morning she told me she couldn’t deal with it anymore.  That’s when I decided I couldn’t deal with it anymore either.   It just got way to personal and I had to get away.”

“Did they find her?’ Siannah asked.

“No” AJ replied and hoped she wouldn’t take off running.

“So that’s why you’re here?” She asked.

He nodded.  “I’m hoping she’s on the run since the cops are looking for her.  I basically just packed up and moved once I found this place.”

“You didn’t tell anyone?” She asked.

“Just my Mom, didn’t tell her where I was going too, just that I was and I would call her when I got settled.” He told her.  “None of my friends know where I am either…”

“Wait...” She said stopping him.  “Is this why the group broke up?”

“Yeah” He replied.  “I told them I couldn’t do it anymore, it became personal, I know not all fans are or were like this person but it’s like being cheated on, the trust is gone.”

“Wow Alex I had no idea” She said with a frown.  “But you shouldn’t hide away because of this person, they’re sick in the head, and…”

“Dangerous.” He told her.  “She doesn’t care how she gets to me as long as she does.”

“But to leave your friends, your family, your Mom?” She asked.

“I just don’t want anyone else getting hurt.” He said with a sigh.  “Especially you”

With a sympathetic whimper she placed her hand on the side of his face and then looked him in the eyes.  “I’m not afraid.” She told him, he looked at her for a moment and was about to reply when he was stopped by her lips on his.

At first he was a little taken back by it, kissing at midnight was one thing but this…It had been a while since someone had kissed him like this.  When they pulled away she lightly smiled at him and then reached down and picked his drink back up.  She handed it to him and then took hers again.  That was it and he sat there a little puzzled.

Something scratching at the door made him jump up and hurry to the backdoor.  He quickly opened it and let Dew in.  He whined as he shook the snow off and walked over to the fireplace.  AJ walked back over and sat down.

“Sorry bud” He replied with a frown as the dog looked at him.

When he looked back to Siannah she was taking a sip of her Jack and he lightly smiled.  He guessed that was her way of letting him know she didn’t care about the stalker, she didn’t care about any of that.

“So what about you?” He asked and she looked at him as she pulled her drink from her mouth.

“What about me?” She asked.

“What don’t I know about you?” He asked as he sat on the couch with one leg tucked in and the other hanging off the side.  She was facing him with both legs tucked under her as the bottom of her dress hung down to the floor.

“Well I’ve been more upfront than you have.” She said and AJ rolled his eyes.  “My Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was fifteen she’s been in remission for about 10 years and every May I got to Vancouver and we do The Walk for Breast Cancer.”

“It’s cool you are so close with your family.” He replied.

“I take it besides the fact you’re here, you’re not that close with yours?”

AJ raised his eyebrows with a slight nod.  “I am with my Mom, I mean we have our moments but I’m an only child…”

“You are? See I didn’t know that” She replied.

He looked at her confused.  “No I guess you wouldn’t.  Sorry I’m just so use to talking to people who know my whole life story.” He replied with a shy smile.  “I grew up with my Mom, Grandmother and Grandfather; my Dad wasn’t in the picture at all he left when I was three. Long story there that I really don’t wanna talk about right now.”

“So you grew up in Florida right? Cause that’s where the group is from?” She replied and he nodded.

“What’s the coolest place you’ve been too?” She asked and he was glad she changed the subject.

            “Hmm…” He replied thinking.  “Shakespeare’s house was pretty cool. I remember the houses being so small and thinking these places would be perfect for my Mom.” He told her and she lightly laughed.  “Maybe the really old parts of Europe so much history there.”

            “Nice” She replied with a smile and a nod.

“What about you, where’s the coolest place you’ve been?”

“Seattle” She replied and he looked at her a little confused.

“Really? Seattle?” He said a little shocked that was her answer.

“Outside of Vancouver it’s the only place I’ve been.” She said looking at him.  “We got Whistler to the North and all this water to play on in the summer, don’t need to go anywhere.”

“True” He said with an agreeing nod. “Okay then where do you want to go?”

“Easy, New York.” She replied before she drank the last that was in her glass.

“I should have known.” He replied with a light smile.  “I’m empty too did you want another one?”

“Sure” She replied and she handed him her glass.  When he stood up he noticed the JD went right to his head. 

“Are you going to make it?” Siannah asked with a laugh.

“I’m good” He replied getting his bearings and heading to the kitchen.  After pouring them each a new glass he walked back over to the couch and sat down.

“Hey why don’t you show me more Swing steps?” He said as he put his drink down.

“Sure” She replied before taking another sip.

“Wait we need music.” He replied as he stood up.

“Here…” She said walking over to his radio.  Turning it on she ran the dial down and began searching for the station.  “Here it is” she replied as she turned around and he heard big band music playing.  “So you remember what I showed you right?”

“I’m not that drunk” He sighed and she giggled.

“Okay” She replied as she took his hands.  “So when we finish those steps, I’ll spin out and you pull me back in and then raise your arm over me like this.” She showed him.

“K, think I got it” He replied.

They went through the steps again and began dancing right there in AJ’s living room.  Both of them started laughing as AJ got the hang of it and they went with the fun.  He spun her out for a third time and pulled her back in, he raised his arm and let her swing under and she spun out, turning to face him.  But her inebriated stated couldn’t handle another spin and she wobbled. 

“Whoa” AJ laughed as he caught her and they both started busting out laughing.  As he held her in his arms, his eyes locked on hers, his laughing calmed.  Slowly he leaned in and kissed her again.  Trapping her bottom lip between his he gently sucked it before slightly opening his lips again.  This time it was her turn to trap his and as hers parted he drifted his hand from her hip up to her neck.  His fingers brushed against her soft skin before settling against the side of her neck.  Their lips parted and gradually he let his tongue slip from his mouth and fall into her hers.  He felt her hands tenderly squeeze the side of his arms and he realized he needed air.  Sluggishly he pulled his lips away from hers and opened his eyes.  Her one hand moved aimlessly from his arm to his chest and he could tell she was a little light headed too.

“Shall we take this upstairs?” He asked as she looked up at him.

A soft smile broke from her lips as he felt her hand lay flat against his chest.  He watched as she softly bit her lip before she whispered. “Yes”

Fearful Renegade

Six

            AJ’s eyes slowly fluttered opened, the pounding in his head wasn’t that bad but it was there.  With a tired soft moan he raised his hand to his head and rubbed his eyes.  He felt something move beside him and then the memory of last night flashed through his mind.  The party at the center, the kiss at midnight, the drinks at his house, the dancing and then…

            He turned his head saw her sleeping beside him, his arm was under her as her back laid against him.  His sheet barely covering her upper body, he carefully rolled over, sitting up on his arm that was tucked under her as best her could.  Letting his eyes explore they wander down her body and flashes of her on top of him last night made him smile softly.  Slowly he leaned down pressing his lips to her shoulder and then they traveled up her neck.  Gently he pulled her hair away as his lips moved closer to her ear and the memory of kissing her like this last night as his chest pressed against her back danced in his head.  She mumbled something and he lifted his lips away as she slowly started to roll over.

“Morning” She mumbled half groggy and he wondered if her head thumped like his.

“Morning” He replied with a light smile.

She stared at him for a moment perhaps for the same reason he was staring at her, the lustful memories of the night before played back in their minds.  Leaning down he finally broke both of their stares and kissed her.  He pulled the sheets over them and pulled her closer to him.  His hands started to explore her body as his lips drifted down her neck but as his hands reached its goal between her legs, their sheets started too slide off them.

“What the…” AJ said as he pulled away quickly.  “Dew!!” AJ groaned as he saw his dog tugging the sheet off.  Siannah started laughing as AJ sat up and the dog jumped onto the bed and plopped himself down between his master and Siannah. “Seriously Dew not cool.”  He said to his dog as Siannah kept laughing.

“I think he needs to go out” She replied as she sat up holding the blankets around her.

He reached over and grabbed a pair of track pants he had on the floor and put them on.  When he stood up he walked out of the room.  “Let’s go!” Dew jumped off the bed as Siannah started giggling at how pissy AJ was. 

When he reached the door he opened it and let the dog saunter outside.  Closing the door he walked over to the stairs and back up to the room.  He walked over to his bed and sat down in front of Siannah. 

“Are you going home right away?” He asked as his fingers tangled with hers.

“I don’t have too” She replied and it made him lightly smile.

“I’ll get you something to wear.” He said still smiling as he got up from the bed.  Handing her a T-Shirt and a pair of his sweats he left the room so she could get changed.  When he went downstairs he opened the back door and let Dew in.

“You and I are going to have a talk when she leaves.” AJ said in a joking manner to his dog.  The animal paid him no attention as he walked over to his usual spot on the floor and lied down.  With a chuckle AJ walked over to his fridge and pulled out the carton of Orange Juice.  He grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and removed them from the shelf.  When he turned around Siannah was coming down the stairs.

“Are you hungry?” He asked.

“Not really, my head hurts too much right now” She replied with a light smile as she walked over to him.

“Here” He said turning around and reaching into another cabinet.   Pulling out a bottle of Advil he handed it to her.

“Thanks” She replied as she took it and opened the bottle.  He watched as she took out two pills and popped them into her mouth.  She then took the glass of Orange Juice he had pour and swallowed them.

“So” She said after she swallowed her juice.  “When’s your birthday?”

“Wow” He replied looking at her a little shocked.

“What?” She replied confused.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been ask that question by someone who’s not a reporter in years.” He replied with a gentle smile and she smiled back.  “Actually it’s coming up on the ninth.”

“Like, this month?” She replied a little shocked and he nodded. “Wait, that’s like, in a week.”

“Yeah” AJ replied with a light laugh.

“Are you doing anything?” She asked.

“Nope” He replied before taking a drink of his juice.  When he put his glass down she turned to him and let her fingers fall down his bare stomach.

She looked at him.  “Well you are now”

He was able to get in a small smile before her lips pressed against his. The two stood by his kitchen island passionately kissing and when they pulled apart, she took his hand and led him back upstairs to his bed.

When he awoke from that second time or the fifth time depending on how you were keeping count.  His eyes fluttered open as he saw Siannah staring back at him. A soft smile broke from his lips when he realized she had woken him with her kisses and then he realized she was dressed.

“You’re going?” He frowned.

“Becca called from the clinic one of the cats chewed open her stitches…”

“Ewww” AJ replied a little horrified.

“Welcome to my life.” She sighed.  “I need to go home and change, then go to the clinic.” He told him as he sat up. 

“Did you want to go out to dinner tonight?” He asked as he reached for his sweat pants.

“Sure” She replied with a smile.

“Wait is there anything opened?” He asked.

“Bella’s is.” She told him.

“That place by the harbor?” He asked as he stood up and she nodded. “Sweet” He replied and then he pulled her into his arms. “So I’ll see you tonight then?”

“Yes” She replied and he kissed her.  “I’ll call when I’m done at the clinic.” She said as he pulled away.

“Okay” He said and he hid the frown sad to see her go.

He walked her down to the front door and she said goodbye to Dew.  When the door closed he stood there for a minute.  Remembering everything over the past day he smiled.  It felt good to be touched again and held again and he couldn’t wait until tonight when he could feel it all again.

The rest of the day went by really slow as he waited for her call.  He watched some TV, took Dew outside for a bit, and even had a hot bath but the day just seemed to drag on until the moment the phone rang.  It still was weird hearing it ring; the only person that ever called him was his Mom.

“Hello?” He said into the phone.

“Hi, I’m home now” She said as he smiled.

“Sweet, what time do you want me to pick up at?” He asked.

“Mmm, around six?” She asked.

“Sounds good” AJ replied as he looked at the time.  He had an hour and a half so he went upstairs and started searching through his clothes for something to wear.  When he found what he was looking for he began the shower routine.  After he had showered, he got dressed, and then he walked over to his dresser.  He opened the drawer, reached inside picking up the rectangular box and dumped the last strip of condoms into his hand. Looking at them for a moment he found it funny, they had sat there for a while after he had picked them up one day grocery shopping.  His mind was blinded by a conversation he had with her only moments before and figured he’d rather have them then get stuck without them. Folding the strip up he tucked them into the inside pocket of his jacket; he then walked downstairs and let Dew outside.  He made sure his dog had a good run outside cause who knows he might not be back tonight.  Making sure Dew had enough food and water for the night he headed to Siannah’s. 

When he got there he parked on the street in front of her house and walked to the front door.  Pressing the small button beside the screen door her rang the bell and waited.  A moment later she opened the door with a smile.

“Hi” He said as she opened the door for him.

“I’m just about ready come in” She said as she stepped back to let him inside.  He walked into her house and there was no need to look around since he had been there a few times before.  “So have you ever been to Bella’s?”

“No but I always over here people talking about it.” He said as he watched her walk past him into another room.

When she walked back down the hall she reached into the bottom of the closet and grabbed her boots.  The dress she wore was a stunning grey satin, the shoulders were gathered at the top, with a long v-neck line into an empire waist, the dress went to her knees and he watched as she slipped on a pair of black pointed toe heels.  She reached up and grabbed her grey wool jacket and slipped it on.  When she pulled out her hair he watched it fall around her, it was thick and wavy and he loved how she had the sides gathered in big twists.  It was very Betty Page. 

“God you’re gorgeous.” He said and then realized he said it out loud.  Siannah lightly laughed but he could tell it was an embarrass laugh.  “I mean it” He said as he took her hand when she was done getting ready.  “You are stunning.”

“Thanks” She replied still blushing.  “So whose truck are we taking? Is yours on the road?”

“Yeah” He nodded.

“Kay we’ll take that one then.” She said as she grabbed her keys from her small purse.

“Sweet” AJ replied as he opened the door and headed outside.

Fearful Renegade

Seven

When they arrived at the restaurant AJ saw the large cottage style building with the large wrap around deck.  He parked the truck and got out meeting Siannah on the other side.  He wrapped her arm through his and walked her across the parking lot making sure she or he didn’t slip on the ice.  He opened the door for her and she thanked him.

They got to their tables and sat down as the waiter gave them their menus.  He told them that someone would bring water and take their drink order and then left.  AJ scanned the plastic folder and noticed they had a bunch of everything here. 

“Excuse me” Someone said and AJ looked up from the menu.  He saw a woman standing in front of him and he found his palms getting sweaty.  “Are you AJ Mclean?”  Now his legs began to quake a little.

“Um” He said and his throat went dry, he cleared it and then spoke. “Yeah”

“Can I get you to sign this?” She asked and he lightly smiled.

“Sure” He replied and took the pen and napkin from her.

“So are you up here visiting?” She asked.

“Yeah” He replied as he finished his signature.  He handed the pen and napkin back to her.

“Awesome thanks so much hun.” She said with a bright smile.  “We miss you guys” AJ gave her a light smile and she turned and walked back to her table.  When he looked away he saw Siannah staring at him.

“You okay?” She asked with a slight frown.

“Yeah” He replied.  “Why?”

“You kind of went white there.” She told him.

“Oh” He replied but he wasn’t surprised.  He was in complete panic mode that whole time and he was shocked she didn’t see more than just him going white. 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” She asked.

“Yeah yeah, just outta practice, haven’t had that happen in a while.” He replied as he flashed a smile and looked back down at the menu.

The waiter came over and took their drink order.  They sat quietly as they continued to look over the menus.  He realized he had been a little too quiet and he wasn’t as freaked out about what happened

“So, what do you have planned for my Birthday?” He asked.

“I’m not telling” She replied with a scoff.

“Tell me” He said and she smiled.  “Tellll meee” He said jokingly like a little kid.

“Nope” She replied leaning in closer to him.

With a frown he looked back to the menu.  A minute later the waiter came and took their order.  They talked and held hands as they waited for their food.  When their food arrived the topic changed to him telling her about life as a kid, the movies and shows he did and she talked about her time in veterinarian school and when her family would come to the town for vacations. 

“It’s actually not that bad out tonight.” AJ said as they walked outside.

“No, it’s definitely warmer than it has been.” She said as he wrapped the belt to her jacket tighter.  “Did you want to go walk down the boardwalk?” She asked.

“Sure” He said as he put his arm behind her and they started walking.

“Can I ask you a question?” She said as they slowly walked down the wooden path along the shore line.

“Sure” AJ said as he looked at her noticing her tone was somewhat serious.

“What made you change your mind?” She asked and he looked at her a little confused.  “About letting me in.”

“Oh” He replied and the question made him smile lightly.  “It was the night of the storm, I haven’t sat down and just talked with someone in a while, especially a girl.”

“Really” She replied and he stopped walking.

“My track record ain’t the greatest and the one good thing I did have…” He paused and lightly sighed.  “I really like you, you’re funny, amazingly stunning…” AJ said and she blushed it made him chuckle.  “You’re relaxed and fun and really, really, really great at other things.” He said hoping she got the hint.  When she started to laugh and blush he knew she did.  “If you haven’t guessed already I’m pretty stubborn.”

“Yeah” She replied with a nod.  “It’s why I drove in a storm to drop off Dew’s toy.”

AJ looked at her and when he saw the look in her eyes he smiled.  “Clever” He said as he raised an eyebrow at her and she softly giggled.  “I was also worried”

“Why?” She asked.  “Because of the stalker?”

He nodded.

“I’m not scared” She said as she wrapped her arms through his and up his back.  “And you shouldn’t be either.”

“I’m not” He replied.

“Right” She said.  “That’s why you left the group, moved out here, waited a year to kiss me and turned white as a ghost when that fan walked up to you.” 

Busted.

“I don’t care about some crazy fan, who probably isn’t even following you anymore and I’m definitely not going to let her stop something that could be really special in my life.” She told him and it was his turn to blush.  “And I know you feel bad about Emily but if she was so easily scared off then her loss.”

“Siannah she was…”

“I don’t care.” Siannah said.  “When you love someone you stick by them no matter what and…”

“Hold up what?” He said looking at her.

“What?” She replied confused.

“You said when you love someone”

“Well yeah I mean I assume she loved you.” She replied and AJ eyed her wondering if there were more to that.  “So if she did why would she give up so easily? I know if I was her and someone was trying to hurt you the last thing I would do is leave.”

“I see your point” He replied with a light smile.  “And I get what you’re saying”

The wind picked up and AJ pulled his jacket closer to him.  They started walking again and this time it was his turn to ask a question.  “Okay my turn” AJ said and she looked at him as they continued to walk slowly down the walkway.  “When did you know you liked me?”

“Honestly?” She replied and that intrigued him.

“Honestly” He replied.

“When I first saw you at the Dog Park” Siannah told him.

“Really” He replied a little shocked.  “When did you see me at the Dog Park before I went to the clinic?” He asked.

“It was the day before.” She said.  “You were running around and he was chasing you, you were laughing and smiling and by then everyone in town knew about the guy in the cottage that never came out.”  He lightly laughed. “A Person like you don’t really come around a place like this that often.” She said and he grinned.

“Well I’m freezing where did you wanna go now?” He asked.  “Your place?”

“And leave Dew alone all night?” Siannah replied.  “We’ll go to your place.”

“Okay” He smiled as they returned the way they came and loaded into his truck.

When they got to his place Dew was happy to see both of them and greeted them at the door.  AJ took off his jacket and walked over to the backdoor letting his dog out.  When he closed it he turned to look at Siannah. 

“Did you want anything to drink?” He asked.

“No I’m good right now” She replied with a light smile.  He reached into the fridge and grabbed a beer, opened it, tossed the cap and headed over to the couch.  Putting the bottle down he sat beside her and then slid next to her.

“Hi” He replied with a light wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Hi” Siannah replied with a soft chuckle.

            “How’s that cat doing by the way?” He asked as he squished his face thinking about this morning.

“She’s fine” She replied laughing.  “I stitched her back up and put a cone collar on her.”

“Don’t you do that after the surgery?” He asked.

“No, it freaks them out when they’re waking up from the anesthetic, so we wait some don’t bother, some try and others succeed.” She told him.

“What’s the grosses thing you had to do?” He asked.

“At school, we went to Saskatchewan; they have a live stock school there, like for Cows, Horses, Sheep’s, and how to take care of them.”

“Cause it’s a lot of farm land out there right?”

“Yeah” She nodded.  “So any Vet school here makes you go there for two weeks and take a course, just in case, you need some knowledge.”

“So what did you have to do?” He asked and for a moment he thought he shouldn’t.

“I had to put on this long glove that went all the way to my shoulder and then stick my hand and arm up a cow’s ass.” She replied with a nod and a smile.

“Awesome” AJ replied with a light giggle.

“Yep” She replied.  “That’s why I stick to pets, nothing more the two fingers max.” AJ laughed and then took a sip of his beer.  Putting down the bottle he got up and walked over to the door and let Dew in. “So why did you pick Canada?” She asked after a moment.

“I’ve always liked it here, the cold can kiss my ass but it’s awesome out here.  So laid back but you all seem to still give a shit about things.” He said as he sat back down beside her.  “Not that they don’t back home, it’s just…a little different.”

“So why BC?”

“It reminded me of Northern California, so it was almost like I was kind of still home and plus the Island is a nice seclusion.” He told her.  “So be honest, have ya googled me yet?”

“No” She replied with a chuckle.

“Lie” He scoffed.

Slowly she leaned forward; her hand drifted up to his neck and her fingers gently brushed against his Skull and Rose tattoo. “Now why would I do that, it would be like peaking before Christmas it’ll ruin all the fun.”

He was impressed with her answer and even more impressed with it as her lips replaced her fingers on his neck.  His eyes closed and he gradually titled his head to the side.  Her lips began to trickle up to the bottom of his ear and then drifted down the edge of his jaw.  Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her over onto his lap as they’re lips grasped at each other.  Her nails drifted along the base of his hairline and he couldn’t help but let a soft moan escape his lips as he felt goose bumps pop up on his arms.

When she pulled away they were both breathless.  “Upstairs?” He exhaled.

“Mmhmm” She replied with a light nod and in one swoop he was carrying her in his arms and then headed to the bedroom.  As he carefully walked them up the staircase she gently let her lips explore his neck some more and when he reached the top they returned to back to his.  When he walked into his room he gently kicked the door closed with his foot and walked over to his bed. 

Fearful Renegade

Eight

Gingerly he set her down on her feet but their lips did not break. He reached into his jacket pocket and tossed the package he had put in there before he left for dinner onto the bed. Helping her take off his jacket as their lips grasped passionately at each other.  His fingers drifted across the back of her shoulder as he reached for the zipper to her dress and pulled it down.  Her fingers undid each button on his shirt and she tilted her head slightly as his lips tenderly kissed her shoulder.  As he slowly pulled her dress off her one shoulder he let his lips trickle behind.  When Siannah pulled her arm from the dress he let his lips drift across her collar bone stopping at the dip at the bottom of her neck.  She tilted her head back as he let his lips gently suck that one spot and then continued to the next shoulder where he did the same thing all over again.

Siannah pushed his shirt over his shoulders as he let her dress fall to the floor.  He pulled his arms out of the sleeves and let it follow her gown.  As her hands began to unbuckle his belt he let his fingers explore the black lace bra and panties that were under her dress.  When their lips found each other again AJ stepped out of his pants that lied on the floor, slowly walking her back to his bed and when she reached the edge he gently sat her down.  Letting his finger tips brush against her skin as he reached for her bra, he unclasped it with just a snap of his fingers.  Slipping his pointer finger under the black lace covered fabric he slipped it around her side, stopping at the middle of the bra.  He pulled it away from her letting the straps fall down her arm and then tossed it to the floor.

It was then he pulled his lips away and let them creep down her chin, to her neck, and down to her breast.  With a gentle yearn in his hands he cupped her breast as his lips reached the now erect nipple as he dropped down to his knees.  He stopped here a moment, concentrating on that one spot and then continued down to her stomach.  His lips trickled down her soft skin and as he reached her belly button he noticed the small goose bumps appear.  Withdrawing his lips his fingers slipped under the heavy lace material of her stalking around her thigh and pulled it down her leg.  He then did the same to the other stalking and then began to adoringly kiss the inside of her thigh by her knee and slowly made his way up her inner thigh.

They’re lips met again as his fingers took over where his kisses left off and began to caress her clit through her lace panties.  Leading with his lips he pushed her down onto the bed as his fingers pulled her underwear off.  Slowly he made his way back down her body like he did before as his fingers erotically teased her.

AJ stood on his knees as he gently draped her left leg over his shoulder and let his tongue tenderly play with her clitoris.  He felt her fingers tangle his hair and as she let out a soft pleasurably moan she lightly pulled his hair.  As he slipped his pointer and middle finger inside her she began to lightly buck her body.  Soon her body started to quiver and she tried pulling him up but he didn’t want to stop, he wasn’t going to stop until get got what he wanted.  Removing his fingers he softly began to suck on the soft tissues of her vagina.  Siannah’s back arched as she let out a moan, he heard the ruffling of his sheets as her right hand grasped them.  The grip on his hair tightened and he lightly moaned against her as his desire was satisfied.

AJ slithered his way back up her body as she breathed heavily.  His lips returned to her neck and he made sure to give her a moment.  He crawled his hand up her thigh, over her hip, along her side and tenderly cupped her breast again.  As she reached for his boxers and began to push them down, his fingers searched for the strip of condoms he tossed earlier.  Sighing to himself when he found them and didn’t have to break the moment he ripped one off and then followed her as she moved up the bed.  As she pulled the loose sheets away he took the rubber from the package and slipped it on and then joined her under the covers. 

Their lips teased each other with passionate affection as he slipped himself into her.  With an unhurried, gentle pace he rocked his body against hers.  His head rolled to the side as her lips drifted down his neck.  Holding himself up on his left arm he pulled her left leg against him and then took her arm and gently pinned it over her head.  With her leg draped around him, she started to buck her lower body against his as he thrusted into her.  With a deep gasp her back arched and her head rolled back, he let his lips and tongue caress the skin of her exposed neck. 

He felt her lower body tighten as her body began to lightly shake but then something unexpected happened.  Some how she flipped him around and he lied there staring up at her.  She pinned his arms over his head and her lips trapped his.  Her pace was quicker and harder than his but he didn’t mind.  With each deep grind against him he moaned against her lips and his hands tightened their grip on hers. 

“Sia…” He whimpered breathlessly as their foreheads pressed against each other.  His body trembled as she let go of his hands and he was able to pull her against him.  With a hard passionate kiss they let their bodies calm and then she gently crawled off of him.  He gave himself a minute and then discarded the latex condom.  When he rolled over he saw her lying with the blankets around her tucked under her arms.  He leaned down and let his lips brush along the bare skin of her arm all the way up her shoulder.  His eyes darted up at her when he began to kiss along her collar bone and she rolled her head and looked at him.

As their eyes locked and her fingers brushed along his jaw bone, he didn’t need to tell her how incredible that was.  He didn’t need to say a word as he kissed her again and then she tucked her head against his neck and lightly draped her arm over him.  She grabbed his hand and tangled their fingers together pulling then against her.  They lied there quietly and he thought she was asleep until she spoke.

“Alex?” Her voice was quiet and tired.

“Yeah?” He replied back in the same away.

“You’re really, really, really, good at other things too.” She replied and it didn’t matter how tired or exhausted he was he started to laugh.

The next morning he was again woken up by her kisses as she left to open the clinic for a regular work week.  He made sure he gave her a long goodbye kiss as the memories of the night before were still fresh in his mind.  When he woke the second time Dew was more than ready to go outside.  As he closed the door his phone rang and he found himself smiling expecting Siannah to be on the other end.

“Hello?” He replied as he put the receiver to his ear.

“Where have you been?” She asked.

“Mom, Hi” He said a little shocked.

“I called New Years Eve and you didn’t answer, I called last night no answer, you need to get an answering machine.” She told him.  “I didn’t mind before but now I can’t get a hold of you and I don’t have your address.”

“I was out” He replied a little annoyed.

“Where did you go?” She asked and he heard the shock in her voice.

“To the New Years Eve party they have out here.” He told her.  “And last night I was out to dinner.”

“Have you met someone?” She asked.

“Ma” He replied like all boys do.

“Well no, don’t get me wrong darling that’s good, I’m glad you’ve gone out and met someone.” She told him.  “So…”

“So what?” He asked.

“Did you meet someone?” She asked.

He rolled his eyes and sighed knowing she wasn’t going to let up.  “Yeah, I have.”

“Well what’s her name?” Denise asked.

“Siannah”

“Oh that’s a pretty name, I take it she’s Canadian then?” She asked.

“Yeah” AJ replied. 

“Alex I’m just trying to see how you’re doing and if you have this new girl in your life then I want to know about her.” She told him.

“I know Mom, I know.” He replied.  “It’s just that it’s still new and I don’t know where it’s going to go.” He told her lying somewhat.

“Well like I said I’m just happy you met someone, is she there now?” She inquired.

“No Ma she’s a work.” He said disappointed she didn’t drop it.

“Oh what does she do?” She asked.

“She’s the Vet here.” AJ replied.

“Really…” She said with a surprise tone and again AJ rolled his eyes.  He knew where that was coming from.  He changed the subject and asked about everyone back home.  They talked for a few more minutes.

“Well I need to go, I gotta let Dew in and clean up some stuff.” He told her.

“Alright sweet heart, don’t wait so long to call next time ok?” She said.

“Okay” He replied and even though he was annoyed by it he still enjoyed the motherly love he got from her. 

“Wait Alex?” Denise said quickly into the phone, he head her and put the receiver against his ear.

“Still here” AJ replied.

“Did you say clean?”

“Bye Ma!” AJ sighed into the phone as he put the receiver back onto the base he could hear his Mother laughing.

He walked over to the door and let Dew inside.  He followed the dog over to the couch and sat down.  With a sigh he looked up to the bedroom door at the top of the stairs.  He smiled. 

“Definitely something new” He thought as he looked away and reached for the TV remote.

Fearful Renegade

Nine

            Over the next few days AJ found himself and Dew traveling back and forth between his place and Siannah’s place.  They had dinner, they watched TV, they took Dew to the park, and AJ found himself starting to want to talk to his friends again, he started to want to see his friends again.

Then the time came for his Birthday and the only thing he knew about the day was that Dew was going to be spending the night at Becca’s house.  She packed his bag, she made the plans, and it was her truck that was loaded and ready to go before she left with Dew for work.   He wondered if she did all this on purpose, so he would have to spend the rest of the day stewing on what the hell was going on.  It was something he noticed of her, she loved to torment him and she knew how.

When he heard the truck pull into the driveway at noon he knew something was up, she was off work early.  He greeted her at the front door with a kiss and then studied her.  She didn’t look dressed up, she wore jeans, black rider style boots, her wool jacket, and her hair was in a ponytail. 

“Ready?” She asked as she stood by the open door.

“What now?” He asked.

Siannah nodded. “Yep”

“Okay” AJ said as he grabbed his jacket and threw it on.  He followed her out to the truck and climbed into the passenger side.  “So am I going to have to wear a blind fold?”

“No” She said with a light laugh as she started the vehicle.

AJ looked around as he realized Siannah drove towards the Island airport in town.  When she parked the truck in the parking lot he looked at her confused but she just smiled and got out.  Unbuckling he climbed out of the vehicle, helped her with the bags, and followed her to the building. 

“Hi” Siannah said as walked up to the counter.

“Hi hun, are we going to go see the folks tonight?” She asked.

“No not tonight” She replied with a smile and AJ got a clue.

“Eric will be out to take you up just have a seat.” The woman told her.

“Okay” Siannah replied and AJ followed her as she left the counter.

“So, we’re going to Vancouver.” He said with a smile.

“Yep” She replied with a nod.  “I use the helicopter shuttle it’s faster than the ferry.”  AJ continued to stare at her as she looked so normal so calm.  “What did you do today?” She asked as she looked at him.

“Nothing” He replied.

“Hey Siannah ready to go?” A man asked as he walked out from a door beside the office.

AJ followed the two as they walked outside to the helicopter pad.  The man AJ assumed now was Eric opened a side door for them and Siannah climbed in first and then he followed.  He took the head set from her and put it on as he noticed the pilot putting their bags into a compartment.  When Eric got in he started the chopper up and soon they were flying over the channel towards Vancouver.

As he looked out Siannah’s window his eyes drifted towards her.  He wondered what this caring, amazing woman had in store for him tonight and a small smile broke from his lips.  His head turned and he looked out his window at the water bellow but he started to wonder if this was too much, they could have celebrated in Parksville.  When he felt a tap on his arm he turned his head looking at Siannah and she pointed out the front window.  He looked out and saw the tall buildings of Vancouver as the Rockies roared upwards in the distance.

“Wow, that’s nice” He said into the mic and she smiled with a nod.

When they landed he got out first and took her hand as he helped her out of the helicopter.  They retrieved their bags and holding her hand he let her lead him to his next destination.  She led him out of the building where there was a limo waiting.  The driver opened the door but AJ stopped.  When Siannah stopped she turned and looked at him confused.

“What’s wrong?” She asked as she walked up to him.

“You didn’t have to do this.” He replied.

“What do you mean?” She said still puzzled.

“The helicopter, the limo…I don’t need all of this.” He told her.

“I know” She replied and her face was blank.  “But it’s your Birthday.”

“I know but this stuff is expensive and…”

“And you don’t think I can’t afford it?” She replied.  “I’ve been a full time vet for five years, of my own clinic, practically single that entire time, how much shopping do you think I do? I told you I don’t ride the ferry I take the Heli, and the limo cause well it’s so much nicer than a cab…” She asked and it brought a smile to his face after a brief moment of embarrassment.  “…now if you don’t want to we can go back home…” She said as she started walking back to the building but he stopped her, turned his head slightly and looked at her.  “Alright then” She replied as she took his hand and they walked to the limo.

When they got into the limo she took his hand into hers.  “I want you to have fun tonight okay? Promise me you’ll have fun tonight.”

“I will” He as he placed his hand over theirs and when he looked back up at her she kissed him.

First they pulled up to the Vancouver Aquarium and this was one place he had heard of.  He held her close to him as they walked around the tanks and looked at all the exotic fish.  They walked over to the Dolphin Exhibit, where they got to touch, play, and learn how to get the Mammals to do tricks.  Next they were onto the Sea Turtles, where they learned about them, prepared them a meal and then were able to feed it to them.

Soon they were leaving the park and AJ found himself getting hungry.  “So where to now?” He asked.

“You’ll see” She said as she laid his head on his shoulder.

To his surprise they didn’t drive very far. “What is this place?” He asked as he looked out the window.  “Wait I know this place.”

“It’s the GM Center.” She told him.  “You can’t live here and not go to at least one Hockey game.”  AJ smiled as the driver opened the door and they climbed out.  “And don’t worry my Dad has season tickets so I scored them from him.” She said leaning towards him a little.  He looked at her and she smiled at him, he smile back with a light chuckle.

To AJ’s relief they went to the restaurant and ate.  Through out the entire dinner he asked her questions about the game and she helped him understand.  He didn’t really realize how complex Hockey was.  It wasn’t like learning plays in football but there were a lot of rule, formations, which sets of players to put out depending on if you wanted defense, offense, power play specialist or face off specialists. 

When dinner was over they walked through the Canucks store and AJ even bought himself a hat. Then they took their seats as the players were on the ice warming up.  The energy from the crowd was infectious and when the Go Canucks Go chant started AJ found himself cheering along. 

“So is this a rivalry?” AJ asked as he looked at her.

“All Canadian teams are rivals when they play each other.” She said with a light smile. “But these two do have some good battles, the Colorado Avalanche are our real rivals but the Flames come a close second.”

When the home hockey team took to the ice everyone started going crazy.  AJ found himself really getting into the game since he someone there to help him out. When the second period horn went off he looked down at his watch just wondering what time it was and he read his watch as 9:30 he looked at her.

“Don’t you have work tomorrow?” He asked.

“No” She replied as she looked from the action on the ice.

“Oh, sweet” He replied with a mischievous smile and she chuckled.

“So what’s with that Lou chant?” He asked.

“It’s for Luongo, our goalie; every time he makes a good save we chant it.” She told him.  “It really picked up after his performance for the Olympics last year.”

“Did you go?” He asked.

“Yeah, my family went to a bunch of stuff, my Dad took my brothers and I to the Gold medal game too, dunno how he got those tickets but it was awesome.” She replied and he noticed her eyes drifted remembering.  “And it was in this building too but we were sitting on the other side.”

When the third period horn went off, the crowd went crazy that the home team won and the players celebrated on the ice.  AJ and Siannah followed the shuffling crowed out of the Arena and as they walked down the large stairs outside he saw the limo was ready and waiting.

This time as AJ sat in the car he didn’t ask any questions he just sat there holding Siannah in his arms as the limo drove along the coast line.  When the vehicle came to a stop she sat up and he looked around.  They were at a hotel.  Collecting their bags he took her hand as they walked into the building.

“Reservation for Jenners” She said walked up to the attendant.  The woman typed quickly and then nodded.  Siannah took the keycards from the woman and grabbed her bag.  He followed her over to the elevators and waited.

The lift took them up to the tenth floor and the doors opened.  Siannah walked out first and stopped in the floor lobby.  “This way” She said as he walked over and followed.

When she stopped in front of a door she swiped the card and the large gold box’s light went green.  She turned the knob and pushed on the door opening it.  As AJ walked into the room, he looked around and put his bag down.  There was a small kitchenette beside him, a living space in front of him with a couch, TV and table.  As he heard a door open he looked to his right and saw Siannah going into another room.  He followed her and it led him to a private bedroom with a private bath.

AJ walked over to her and when she turned around he was standing right in front of her.  “This…” He said as he took her by the hands. “…has been the best Birthday ever.”

“Oh I don’t believe that but you’re sweet.” She replied with a light smile.

“I mean it Sia, thank you.” He said as he looked into her eyes.

“Well, you’re welcome.” She replied softly as he leaned in and kissed her but they were broken apart by a knock at the door. “Can you go get that I gotta go to the ladies room.”

“Sure” He replied with a small chuckle and then gave her a quick kiss.

AJ walked out of the bedroom and across the hotel room to the door.  He looked out the peep hole and the sighed.  With a light smile he opened the door.

“Come on in” He said as he ushered the servant with the rolling cart and a Birthday cake complete with sparklers on it.

“Happy Birthday” The man said with a nod.

“Thanks” AJ replied still chuckling and then closed the door.  When he turned around he saw Siannah standing by the couch with a handful of presents.

“Sia” AJ said as he tilted his head down a little.

“It’s your Birthday, cake and presents, it’s a given.” She said as she sat them down.

Fearful Renegade

Ten

January 10th 2011

AJ pulled Siannah’s truck into the drive way of his house and put it into park.  He looked over and noticed she had fallen asleep during that fifteen minute car ride back.  Reaching over he gently shook her and she opened her eyes and looked around.

“We’re back” He told her.

“I feel asleep?” She asked confused.

“Yeah” AJ lightly laughed.  They both got out and grabbed their bags.  When AJ reached into his pocket he pulled out his keys and started looking for his house key.  He looked up and saw a small box sitting on the step and he smiled.

“Sia, seriously.” He sighed as he turned around.

“What?” She asked as she walked up to him.  He said nothing as he turned his head and looked at the package and then looked back to her. “What’s that?” She asked.

“Sia” AJ sighed again.

“That’s not from me Alex” She told him with a light laugh.  “I swear”

Still not believing her he bent down and picked up the box and pulled off the lid.  His heart stopped.  There inside was one single rose head, clipped from its stem.  Just like the others.  He stared at it not wanting to believe it. 

“Alex?” He heard Siannah say but he didn’t answer his brain to busy processing the gift that was in front of him.  Dropping the box he fumbled with his keys.

“Come on, come on.” He whispered in a panic.  When he found it he shoved it into the key hole and unlocked the door.  Turning around he grabbed Siannah by the wrist and pulled her inside, she almost dropped her bag from the force.

Alex!” She said shocked as he slammed the door, locked it and turned on the alarm.   Quickly he walked over towards the middle of the cottage as he figured out what to do.

“I knew it, I knew it.” He whispered to himself as he sat down his foot tapping on the floor.

“Alex?” Siannah said again when he looked up she was sitting down beside him.  “What’s going on?” She asked with great concern.

“That…She’s…” He couldn’t get the words out; he didn’t want to get the words out. “Not now, not again” He said as he put his head in his hands.

“Hey” Siannah said as she tried to get him to look at her but he couldn’t.  He didn’t’ want to say because if he did he would have to leave, leave this place, leave her and he didn’t want to.  “Alex, talk to me.”

He had too; he had to get her as far away from him as possible.  He had to keep her safe; he didn’t want her to get hurt, not her.  His heart gave one final plea against it but his mind was winning this battle.  He needed to protect her no matter what.

“You need to go.” He said as he stood up.

“What?” She replied confused.

“You need to go home and not come back.” He told her and when he turned to face her she stood there staring at him.

“Is that what this is about?” She asked and then she walked over to him. “Is that what that was?”

“You need to leave Siannah please.” He said as he tried to move her to the door.

“No” She snapped stopping herself.  “I told you I wasn’t scared and I’m not.” And then she walked past him and out the door but she didn’t slam it or close it, she left it open.

“You hear me!!! She screamed.  “I’m not afraid of you!” She yelled making sure everyone heard.  Alex grabbed her and pulled her inside.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He shouted at her as he slammed the door.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She told him.

“You have no idea how dangerous she is Siannah.” He snapped at her.

Siannah yelled back. “I don’t care!”

He growled with frustration as he took off up the stairs.  He gathered all her clothes that were there and went into the bathroom.  He took her toothbrush and then headed out of the room.  He tossed the items down to her and she looked up at him.

“Get out.” He snarled and then walked into his room slamming the door behind him.

AJ stood in the middle of his bedroom furious, he panted and clinched his fist but when he heard the front door slam he closed his eyes.  No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t fight back the tears and dropped down to his bed as he started to cry. 

After he had gone to Becca’s to get Dew and called the Detective back in California, he locked himself inside the cottage, only going to the Dog Park.  He hadn’t seen her walking the dogs from the clinic in the evening and then one night when he saw the volunteer doing it he wonder if she was avoiding this place.  Probably was and it was for the better.

January 24th 2011

It had been a couple of weeks since his Birthday, since he got the package and he sat on his couch waiting for his realtor to come by and go over some final things before putting the cottage up on the market.  When there was a knock at the door he stood up and walked over.  He stopped when he saw Siannah on the other side.  Unsure why she was here he walked up to the door and opened it.

“Hi” She said as she stood with her wool coat tightly around her.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as his eyes darted to look around the front yard.

“I came to talk; I need to talk to you and…”

“Sia, I need you to go home.” He told her as he felt his heart tear a little.

“No Alex you don’t understand I’m not…”

“No Sia you don’t understand the longer you’re here the more your life is in danger, please, I don’t want to get mad at you. Just go home.” He told her and his heart ripped a little more.  She stared at him for a moment, her lips were tight and he could tell she was now angry with him.

“Fine” She was able to spit out before turning around.  Just then his realtor pulled up and got out of the car.  He looked over to Siannah she was watching the man as she walked to her truck.  AJ looked back at the car on the side of the road as the man reached in and pulled out the For Sale sign.  He looked back to Siannah and she stopped dead as the man walked past her.

“Hello” He said greeting her with a smile.  AJ noticed she didn’t say anything as she turned still watching the man.  Then she looked up at him as he stood in the door way.

“I’m just gonna leave the sign here till we’re done with the paper work.” The man told him as AJ looked away from Siannah. 

“Okay cool” AJ replied as he stepped back and let the man inside.  Before closing the door he looked up and saw Siannah still staring at him.

“You’re moving?” She asked as she went to take a step but stopped. Without saying a word he turned around and shut the door. 

“So have you found a place yet? The realtor asked.

“No, just gonna rent while I search.” AJ told him as his mind started to focus on Siannah and not on his house.

“You have any idea on where?” The man asked.

“No, not yet, maybe I’ll go back to the States.” He said with a light smile.

Truth be told he didn’t want to sell the house, he loved this little place, he loved this little town and he loved…

“Ok so this page is the agreement.” The man said and AJ looked back at him his thoughts were broken.  He looked down at the paper; with a sigh to himself he pushed Siannah from his mind and grabbed a pen from the table beside him.

Signing what he was suppose to sign and initialing where he was suppose to within an hour after arriving the sign was sitting on his lawn.  He stared at it as the car on the side of the street pulled away.  He couldn’t stay here, she knew where he was she was still watching and following.

Closing the door he walked back inside his house and plopped down onto the couch.  Dew came over and laid down in front of his feet.  His dog had been unusually unhappy and moppey and for a moment he wondered if it was because of Siannah.

January 31st 2011

Over the next week he packed his things, packed his clothes, and soon the house was close to nothing but boxes and furniture but then he had to take Dew for his check up and get his papers before leaving.  There was no avoiding this so, he sucked it up and headed to the clinic.  No eye contact and try not to acknowledge she was there was his game plan.

When he arrived he saw Becca at the front desk and hoped Siannah’s best friend didn’t make a scene here.  “Hi” she said when she saw him.

“Hey” He replied in a mono tone.  “I’m here for Dew’s Check up.”

“Right” She said with a nod and went to the cabinet to get his file.

When she walked back over he had to ask.  “Sia’s not doing it right?”

Becca looked up from the folder and her expression confused him.

“What?” He sighed knowing she wanted to say something.  “Go ahead Becca just let it out, tell me what you think of me and just let me have it okay, so I can go on with my day.” He said in a mono tone.

“No Alex it’s not that it’s…” She stopped.

“What?” AJ asked confused again. Quickly she looked away and he could tell she was thinking.  “Becca? What’s going on?”

“Come here” She said motioning for him to walk over to the other side of the desk and he followed.

“She called last Tuesday said her Mom was sick and she needed to go to Vancouver for a few days.” Becca told him.

“Last Tuesday? That was when the Realtor came by.” He thought remembering and then he saw her standing there at the door.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as his eyes darted to look around the front yard.

“I came to talk; I need to talk to you and…”

“Sia, I need you to go home.” He told her as he felt his heart tear a little.

“No Alex you don’t understand I’m not…”

“No Sia you don’t understand…” 

His memories disappeared as Becca spoke again. “But then she called this morning.”  He looked at Becca and saw her eyes. 

“What?” He asked.

“Alex, her Mom died last night.” Becca frowned.

“What?” AJ replied a little breathless. “Where is she now?” He asked.

“I think she’s still at the hotel.”  Then she turned around, grabbed a piece of paper and began writing a bunch of things down  “Go” Becca said to him as she handed him the paper and he looked at her confused.  “She needs you right now Alex really bad and I don’t care if she kicks my ass for sending you.  I’ll take Dew, just go find her.” She told him.  “That’s her hotel, the room number and the address to her parents place just in case.” AJ looked at her for a moment and then walked out of the clinic

Fearful Renegade

Eleven

First he drove past her house, her truck wasn’t there and it looked like it was closed up.  So he headed to the landing pad.  When he got there he saw her truck sitting in the multiday parking lot.  He made his way into the building and up to the counter.

“How soon can I get to Vancouver?” AJ asked the woman.

“Anytime I’ll let Bobby know.” The woman said.  He paid her and then took a seat.  It was funny but until now the only thing he thought about was her, not the stalker just her.  Becca was right, she must be a mess right now but why didn’t she call him.  He heard the door open and looked up.

“Vancouver?” The woman asked and AJ smiled.

“Yeah”

“Okay follow me” She said and he stood up.

When they were in the helicopter over the water he found himself staring at it lost in thoughts on how she was.  The thumping of the chopper was almost kind of soothing and he sat back as his mind relaxed.  He started thinking about the past month.  He thought about the moment he slammed his bedroom door and shut her out. All because of a box with a flower, how could something so small do so much damage to his life? 

When he felt the chopper descending he looked up and saw the tall buildings of the city again and his mind flashed back to his Birthday.  The Helicopter landed and he climbed out.  As he walked towards the building he reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper Becca gave him.

He flagged a cab and decided to try the hotel first, telling the driver the address.  Sitting back he watched out the window wondering which one she was in, if she was even there but he prayed she was because he dreaded going to her parents.  When the cab merged into the left hand turning lane he looked out the window and saw a hotel coming up.  It was near a residential area so he started to get some hope this was it and when the cab slowed down to turn he became a little anxious.   Paying the driver he got out and looked at the piece of paper again.

“Room 304” He said to himself as he read the writing. 

Walking onto the elevator he pressed 3 and waited for the doors to close.  He looked up at the numbers that lit up and waited for the number of his floor to illuminate. With a ding the doors opened and he walked off.  The hallway was empty as he looked for the signs on which way to go.  He found the sign for 300 and up and headed to his right.  The closer he got to her door the more his hands began to sweat.

He stopped outside room 304.  What should he say? Would she even open the door? She’d probably look through the peep hole and walk away.  Taking a deep breath he reached up and knocked on the door.

Nothing.

He knocked again and waited.  Again he heard nothing. He sighed as he realized maybe she wasn’t here.  Not giving up yet he knocked again.

“Go away!” He heard someone shout from behind the door.  “I don’t want anything, I don’t need anything, go away!”

“Sia?” AJ shouted a little so she could hear him.  He waited for an answer but he didn’t get one.  “Siannah, darling open up please.” 

He didn’t hear her shout anything back but he did hear the soft footsteps of someone coming to the door and he relaxed a little.  Next he heard the light scrapping of metal and the click of a lock, slowly the door opened and she poked her head out from behind the door.  She looked like shit.  He walked into her room and turned around as she closed the door.  Her satin night robe hung open but it wasn’t the sexy lingerie he was use to under it, just a T-shirt and a pair if light cotton sweats.

“Look, I know you’re probably really fucking pissed at me and I…” Her body slammed against his as she wrapped her arms around him and started sobbing.

“I’m so sorry Sia” He said after he let her cry as he held her tightly against him and brushed his fingers through her hair.  When she had calmed down a little he walked her over to the couch and sat her down.

“What happened?” He asked.

“The Cancer came back.” She replied with a gasping breath.  “She didn’t want us to know, she…” She paused closed her eyes and began to cry again.  He laid her against his chest and held her tightly.  “She didn’t want us to worry, they both thought she would do treatment and beat it just like before but she got sick, she got pneumonia and her immune system was already weak because of the Chemo.”

“God, Siannah I’m sorry” He said with a frown as she sat up.

She whipped her eyes, took a deep breath and then asked.  “How did you know I was here?”

“I had to take Dew in for his check up and papers and Becca told me what happened.” He said.

“Where is Dew?” She asked and he lightly smiled at her concern.

“With Becca” He told her.

When she started crying again AJ took her into his arms and slowly he laid them back onto the couch.  He lovingly played with her hair in his fingers as he felt her body get heavier and heard her breathing get deeper.  His eyes drifted down to her and he tilted his head as his fingers pulled back her hair that had fallen across her face.  Her eyes were closed and she looked calm and peaceful.

His mind raced with memories of them, memories of when they first met, memories of when he finally let her in, and memories of when he shut her out.  He didn’t want her to get hurt but now he didn’t want to be without her either.  The past month had been miserable.  A year of living alone, the calm, the quiet, and the acceptance he had living that life gone because of two weeks with her. He didn’t want to be alone anymore; he didn’t want to be without her.  It was the fear, the fear of what would happen to her, more than just gifts will come if he lets her back in, and he can’t ask for 24 hour protection because he wants a girlfriend.

When his thoughts disappeared she came into focus again and he thought about moving her to the bed but he didn’t want to disturb her.  Carefully he shifted his body a little and then closed his eyes.  A little sleep couldn’t hurt him either.

He wasn’t sure how long he was sleeping when his eyes fluttered back open and he felt something slowly sliding around his stomach.  Still half asleep his eyes drifted down and he saw Siannah’s finger gliding around his shirt. 

“Hey” He said in a low tone.

Her head tilted up as she looked up him. “Hi”

“Everything alright?” He asked and he always felt like that was a stupid question to ask someone at a time like this but what else could you say?

“Yeah” She replied as her hand stretched out across his lower chest.

“Why didn’t you call me?” He asked and her eyes drifted down to her hand.

She shrugged.  “I figured you were busy moving or…” She paused.  “Or you had already left.”

“I’m just…I’m just worried. I don’t want you to end up like Emily.” He said as she slowly sat up.  “I don’t want to seem like I didn’t care about her but if that happened to you…Sia…I could never forgive myself.”

“But I can’t do this without you.” She said her voice in a whisper.  “I need you here with me.”

“And I’ll be here” AJ said as he took her hands.

“But what about after, when we go home, will that for sale sign still be there?” She asked.  “Are you going to give up on the best thing that ever happened to the both of us? You have to stop running Alex.”

“Sia” He sighed.

She moaned as she stood up.  “I knew you’d do this.” She walked around behind the couch and as she sniffled he could tell she was crying again.  “You know…Alex you’re such a fucking hypocrite.” 

“Hey!” AJ snapped and he got up from the couch.  “Look I came here…”

“Ooh you came here, for what why?” She asked bitterly sarcastic.  “You’re a hypocrite, you come in here and tell me you don’t want me to get hurt, you don’t want her to hurt me, but yet you push me away because of her, she’s still getting what she wants, you alone and un happy.” She yelled at him.  “She may not be hitting or punching or throwing me down a flight of stairs…” Siannah paused as he looked away from her.  “But she’s still hurting me.” She hissed before she turned around, walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.

He stood there leaning against the couch and he could hear her crying.  With a deep breath he looked up and sighed.

“What do I do?” He asked anyone who was listening.  He dropped his head and something caught his eye.  Lifting his wrist he saw the sterling silver skull men’s bracelet he wore.  It was one of the gifts she got him for his Birthday; his other one was getting old and dingy. 

People could say what they wanted about his girlfriends most of them, not all but most did have the means to take care of themselves, they were independent. They bought him gifts, they took him out to dinner, and threw him big parties to invite their friends too but not a single one had given him a day like Siannah had. None of them made him feel the way Siannah did, none of them knew exactly what he was thinking like Siannah did, and none of them could hold a candle to her.  This, this was the one worth fighting for.

Pushing himself off the couch he walked over to the door.  “You’re right” He said as he leaned against the wall.  “You are the best thing to ever happen to me and I’m letting her take you from me.” He laid his head against the wall.  AJ waited there but he heard nothing. 

“When I first saw you the day I brought Dew in to get his shots and license, you made me feel something.”  He told her as he stood outside.  “I had been in my house since December and I got Dew in March.  I only went out to get what I needed and then I came back.  I didn’t miss my Mom, my friends, the fellas, I felt nothing.  But one look at you Sia and…well I don’t know what the fuck it was but it felt good.” The bathroom door clicked and then slowly opened and he lifted his head up.

“She’s going to go after you.” AJ said with a hint of pain in his eyes.

“I don’t care, I told you before she doesn’t scare me, and I’m not…” She stopped.  Letting go of the door she walked past him and he looked at her confused.  He watched her walk over to the couch and sit down.  His brow frowned as he pushed himself off the wall and walked over to her.

Putting his hand on her shoulder as he sat down and turned her to him he asked her.  “You’re not what Sia?”

“Nothing” She replied with a light sigh.

“No not nothing.” He said as he pulled her chin towards him and turned her face.  “You’re not what?”

“I’m not just going to walk away when…” She paused again, her head tilted a slightly.  “…when someone I love is in trouble.”

His heart stumbled. “…Sia…”

“I-I don’t care if it’s too soon or too late or…” She paused I closed her eyes.  “I just lost my Mom, I don’t care about hours or days or…”

“I love you too.” He replied cutting her off and she looked at him as his hand cupped the side of her face.  Pulling her against him he wrapped his arms around her back.

“Please don’t leave Alex.” She whispered and he closed his eyes.

“I won’t.” He told her and he noticed her grip around him tightened.  “I promise I’m going to stop running.”  And with those words Siannah started crying.

Fearful Renegade

Twelve

            AJ walked down the hall to Siannah’s hotel room and hoped she was up by now.  He realized he was going to need something nice since he was going to be staying with her until she went back to the island.  With all his things being packed and not wanting to go all the way home to unpack them he went on a light shopping spree.  While they were sitting on the couch he noticed how tired she was, almost falling asleep sitting up, so he took her too the bed and lied down with her until she feel asleep.  That’s when he decided to get the things he needed then instead of later.

            A minute after he knocked the door opened, she was in a hotel robe, her hair wet, and a towel in her hand.  “Hope you got my note.” He said as she let him walk in.

“Yeah” She replied as she scrubbed her hair with a towel.

“I got a suit, shoes, and something to wear that’s a little less dressy.” He said as he looked through the bags.

“Why didn’t you just go home?” She asked.

“Everything’s all packed.” He said as he sat down on the bed and then he saw the look on her face. Taking her by the hand he pulled her closer to him.  “Which I will be unpacking when we get home.” He told her and that made her lightly smile.  “I even called Jake and told him to take the house off the market and the sign will be gone by the time we get back.”

“Good” She said as he gently sat her down on his lap.

Her fingers drifted along his jaw line and it gave him a shiver of goose bumps.  He looked at her as her eyes studied her own fingers.  “Sia?”

“Yeah?” She replied looking at him.

“The day the Realtor came, last Tuesday, when you showed up at the house, what were you there to talk about?” He asked.

She sat silent and the longer she sat quietly the more he realized she was there to tell him about her Mother and he just shut the door in her face.  “Jesus Sia I’m sorry I didn’t know…”

“I know” She replied as her fingers picked up the pieces hanging from his necklace.  “I lost count how many times I picked up the phone to try and call you last night but I couldn’t.”

“Afraid of what I would say?”

“Afraid the line would have been disconnected.” She replied as she looked up at him.

“I’m scared” He told her.  “I’m scared for me and I’m scared for you but I’m not going to run anymore.  I already let her chase me from one life I loved; I’m not going to let her chase me from another.” 

Siannah lightly smiled as her fingers drifted along his chin to the other side of his jaw, she cupped her hand along his neck and then gently pressed her lips to his.  When he slowly pulled away from her she kept his bottom lip trapped between hers longer than usual and then let it go as her eyes looked up at him.  He softly moaned having missed the warm softness of her lips.

The phone rang and she hesitantly got up from his lap and walked over to the table to answer the phone.  She picked up the receiver and put it to her ear. “Hello?”

She paused.  “Hi Dad…I’m okay…no, no I’m fine Dad how are you doing?” He watched as she ran her fingers through her hair.  “Supper? Yeah I’ll be there…do you need someone to go to the…” She stopped and he could see the fight in her eyes.  “Okay” She replied with a quick nod.  “I’ll see you at dinner…I love you too Dad.” And that’s when she started crying.  AJ got up from the bed as she wiped her eyes with the robe.  “I’m fine.” She said into the phone. “I know” She replied and then sniffed.  “Okay, I’ll see tonight.”

When she hung up the phone she turned and saw AJ, she started crying again and he pulled her against him, holding her tightly. Suddenly he got the strong urge to call his Mom. 

“He wants me to go over there for dinner; him and Bret are going to the funeral home now…” She paused and sighed.

“Do you want me to go with you?” He asked and she nodded quickly.  “Okay” He replied with a light smile.  He started to become a little nervous, he had never met her family before, he had heard a lot about them, but never met them, and to do so at a time like this.

“Are you hungry? I haven’t had lunch yet.” She told him as she started to pull away.

“Yeah I could go for something to eat.” He told her.  His eyes followed her as she walked over to the table and grabbed the hotel menu.  She then walked over to the couch and sat down.  AJ followed her and sat beside her.

They decided what they wanted, they ordered, and then when it arrived they ate.  Afterwards AJ went and had a shower while Siannah got dressed.  He noticed she didn’t talk much but he wasn’t surprised, he’s sure she had things on her mind.  When they were finished AJ started to collect the dishes and trays to put out in the hall.  He watched Siannah when she got up from her chair and walked over to the window.  Staring for a moment he waited to see what she would do but she did nothing but glare out the window. 

Putting the dishes down, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms over hers in front of her.  Siannah leaned back against him as he gently laid the side of his head against hers.  “She’s in a better place now and where she is now she can put all her focus into you, your Brothers and your Dad.”

“But when I want to talk she won’t answer and when I need to see her she won’t be there.” Siannah whispered. 

“No, physically she won’t” He said as he slowly turned her around.  “But now she’s here…” He said as he touched her chest.  “…and she’s here.” He said as he brushed the back of his first two fingers down her temple.  “You get to carry her around with you when ever you want, anytime you need her that’s where she’ll be.” Just before she pulled herself into his arms, he saw a small smile crack from her lips.  He wrapped his arms around her and held her.

“I love you” She whispered.

He pulled her closer.  “I love you too Sia.”

When it was time for them to go to Siannah’s Parents house they left the room and hailed a cab.  AJ was introduced to her Father Thomas and her Brothers, all four of them, Josh, Randall, David, and Bret.  Each of them were almost exactly two years apart. Siannah being the youngest at 32 and Bret being the eldest at 40 and he could tell right away what made her so tough because even now, her Brothers picked on her but they got her laughing so he really didn’t mind.  He also noticed where she got her whit from, her Father.  There was uncomfortable moments when the family would break down and all he could do was hold Siannah’s hand but there were a lot of funny moments as her Brother’s made sure AJ knew as many embarrassing stories about her as possible.  When they got back from the hotel room they took a shower together and the fun playing that had started there was carried over to the bed.

The next day AJ went with Sia and her Brothers to get the flowers and go over last minute arrangements with the Cemetery.  He was glad to see she was holding up better today.  She had her moment after they left the Burial Lawns but that was the only one of the day.  The day after that was the viewing, that day was a little harder for her.  She was quiet, a little withdrawn, she just seemed a little off but he knew it was just because of the day it was for her.

February 2nd 2011

The next day AJ sat beside her on the white seat as a circle of people surrounded him.  Her Brothers were on her other side with her Father on the very end.  He held her hand and noticed half way through the service she looped her arm through his, snuggling closer to him.  The service ended and everyone slowly began to say their goodbyes to Siannah and her family and then return to their cars, most of them going to Siannah’s Aunt’s house for a gathering.

AJ and Siannah got into a limo with Josh, his Wife, Bret and his Wife.  Everyone was talking about memories of Grace except Siannah, she was quiet and she just sat there hiding behind those Audrey Hepburn Sunglasses.  While he was at the gathering he got talking to Siannah’s Brother Dave about an Indy group from California that AJ use to listen too and he lost track of her.   After the conversation was over he went looking for her.  He walked around the house politely smiling at people he didn’t know who politely said Hello. When he walked out to the Kitchen someone called to him.

“You looking for Sia?” Her Brother Josh said.

“Yeah” AJ replied with a nod.

“She’s out back on the deck there.” He said nodding to the back kitchen door.

“Cool, thanks.” AJ replied and her Brother smiled as he walked out the other door.

AJ made his way out back and saw her sitting on the swing at the end of the deck on the left side.  “There you are.” He said as the door closed and she looked up.  “You ok?”

“Yeah” She said with a nod.  “Just wanted to get some air and quiet time.”

He sat down beside her and she leaned against him as he wrapped his arm behind her.  “So how are you today?” He asked.

“I miss her” Siannah said with a sigh.  “And I know I’m going to keep missing her for the rest of my life.”  She then turned on the bench a little as she slipped her arm out from his.  Facing him she took his hand and held it as she looked at him.  “When we get back to Parksville promise me something?”

“What?” He asked.

“Promise me you’ll call your Mom and have her come out here to see you.” She said and he saw her bottom lip start to quiver a little.  He lightly smiled as he cupped the side of her face with his other hand. 

“I will, promise.”  He replied  and she slid her arms through his hugging him.

Fearful Renegade

Thirteen

February 4th 2011

AJ turned the key and unlocked the door.  When he opened it Dew was there to great him.  “Down boy” AJ told him as he pushed him back gently.

“He’s huge” His Mom said from behind him.

“Yeah” AJ nodded as he opened the door to let the dog out.  He had just returned home from picking up his Mom in Vancouver.

“This house is gorgeous.” Denise said looking around.

“Thanks” AJ said as he closed the door.

“So will I be meeting this Siannah?” She asked.

“Yes she’s coming here after work.” He told her.  “And please don’t turn this into twenty questions about her income and career.”

“Alex you moved away without any notice and refused to tell me where you were living.  Then you meet this girl and you start going out, you not only tell me where you have been but you invite me here, I’m sorry if I’m curious about her.”  His Mom told him.

“Well just keep the questions to a minimum she’s still upset over her Mom.” AJ told her as he handed her something to drink.

“Poor thing” Denise sighed.  “So have you heard anything from this Stalker?” She asked.  “I had an officer at my door, said Detective Snyder called from California wanted someone to stop by and check up on us.”

“After Siannah and I started seeing each other, she took me to Vancouver…”

“She?” Denise said shocked.

“Ma” AJ replied annoyed and she raised her hand apologetically.  “She took me to Vancouver for my Birthday, we spent the night there and when we got back there was one of those gifts on the door step.”  AJ told her.

“Alex” She frowned.  “Does she know?”

“Yes” AJ told her.  “I told her before why I moved here and I kind of freaked out when I realized what it was.”

“Freaked out?” She asked.

“Broke up with her, I was ready to run again, I saw her a couple of weeks later, I didn’t know at the time but she came to tell me her Mom was sick and she wanted to talk but I didn’t even give her chance to tell me that.” AJ told her.  “I was getting ready to leave in a couple of day and I had to take Dew to the clinic, that’s when I found out about her Mom dying.”  He continued as his Mom listened.  “We talked and she made me realize that I didn’t want to run anymore, I didn’t want to lose or give up what I have with her.”

He sighed.  “The RCMP patrols by here every couple of hours, I have the alarm, can’t do any more than that. I guess.”

“How long have you known her?” Denise asked.

“I moved here in December, I got Dew and took him to the clinic in March, that’s when I met her.” AJ said.  “We didn’t start seeing each other until New Years Eve it just sort of happened.”

“It usually does.” Denise replied.

“What?” AJ said confused.

“Nothing sweetheart.” She said with a light smile.  “Well I can’t wait to meet her she sounds like a lovely girl.”  There was a moment of silence.  “Is she living here?”

“No” AJ replied quickly.

“But she does stay here.” Denise said.

“So what if she does, I’m 32 years old.”

“I’m just saying because your place is clean.” She said with a light smile.  AJ lightly rolled his eyes with a soft chuckle.

“God she drives me nuts but I love her.” AJ sighed to himself.

“Are you still smoking?” He asked.

“No” He replied and she threw her hands up and sighed with relief. 

“Are you still drinking?” She asked and he didn’t say anything.  “Alex” She sighed.

“I have a glass or two of wine at night, a beer here or there and yeah I got drunk on New Years Eve, ok I’m not hitting the bars every night, I’m not snorting coke…”

“But you’re still an Alcoholic.” Denise snipped back.  Just then they heard a car pull into the drive way.  AJ walked over to the door and saw the Silver Chevy in the drive way.  “She’s here please don’t start with that shit okay?” He asked.

“Does she know?” Denise asked.

“What that I’m an alcoholic? Yes.”

“Does she drink with you?” Denise asked and AJ could see a small fire in her eyes.

“Ma” AJ replied in a whisper knowing Siannah was going to walk in any minute. Denise huffed as she turned on the couch as the door to his cottage open.  AJ got up and walked over to Siannah as she took her jacket off.

“Hey Babydoll.” AJ said as he leaned in a kissed her.

“Hi” She replied with a light smile.

“So any cool gross stories for me today?” He asked as he waited for her to take off her winter garb.

“Nope, pretty quiet today.” She said with a sigh.

AJ pouted as he walked her over to the couch and she lightly laughed.  “So Sia this is my Mommy.” AJ said smiling and Siannah laughed again at him.

“Hi Ms. Mclean.” Siannah said shaking Denise’s hand as Dew nudged her.

“Please, call me Denise.” She replied with a smile.  “How are you doing, Alex told me about your Mother I’m so sorry.”

“I’m ok, doing better.” She replied and his Mom might not have been able to see it but he saw her fighting back the sadness.  Dew nudged her again and Siannah looked down.

She grabbed the Great Danes face the slobber plastering on her hands and she didn’t care.  “And how’s my Dewwie.” She said as Dew licked her and she started to rub his head and ears as the dog got excited.  AJ lightly chuckled as he watched the two start to wrestle as she headed to the back door with him.

When she was outside Denise spoke up.  “She’s gonna freeze out there.”

“Mom she was born here, this isn’t cold to her.” AJ replied with a smile.

“So she’s still coming around even though that girl is still out there?” Denise said.

“Yes, she says she’s not scared but doesn’t mean I’m not.” AJ told her as sat down.  He looked over to the door and saw Siannah tossing snow and Dew as he happily snapped at it, he smiled. The door rolled open and Dew along with Siannah came into the house. 

“I need to go change.” Siannah said and then made her way upstairs.

“So, what did you do for your Birthday?” His Mom asked as he looked away from his bedroom door.  “In Vancouver.”

“We took the Heli-Taxi over there, she rented a limo, she took me to the Aquarium and spent a couple of hours there, she took me to the GM Place we had, dinner here at the Restaurant and then we stayed for the Hockey game.”

“Hockey?” Denise replied confused.  “Oh she must have you good if she has you going to sporting events.”

“Mom, I live in Canada if I didn’t go to at least one, they would kick me from the country.” AJ said jokingly too her.  “After the game we went back to the hotel where she had cake and presents waiting for me.”

“Sounds like it was a great evening.” She replied with a light smile.

“It was.” AJ said with a nod.  “I just wish the next day would have been better.”

The door the bedroom opened and Siannah walked out showered and changed.  He watched as she walked down the stairs and over to the couch. “Feel better?” He asked.

“Yeah” She said with a light nod.  “So did you decide on a place to eat?”

“Was thinking Bella’s.” AJ said.

They talked for a little bit, AJ catching his Mom up on the past year.  He figured he’d give Siannah a chance to relax after work.  After an hour or so they headed down to the harbor where they enjoyed a fantastic meal.  The talk was light on AJ’s Mom part and it put a small knot in AJ’s stomach, which usually meant she had something to say later.

“So are you going to go home soon?” Denise asked.

“There it was.” AJ thought with a sigh.

“I don’t know” He replied with a shrug.  “Why?  I mean I like it here, there’s nothing in Cali for me…”

“But the group?” Denise said with a concern tone in her voice.

AJ looked at her for a moment.  “Is over, so there’s nothing for me in California.”

“But it was only over because you left, if you come back…They miss you so much Alex not knowing where you are, Kevin calls me at least once a day to see if I’ve heard from you.”

“Mom” AJ sighed.

“I’m just saying if you’re feeling better…”

He interrupted her. “Feeling better? I’m being stalked Ma, by some crazy ass bitch who will stop at nothing to hurt me.  It’s not the fucking flu!” AJ snapped as he slammed down his fist and then stood up from the table, leaving.

As he stood outside pissed off and annoyed, he began to shiver.  “Damn” He whispered when he remembered he forgot his jacket.  Walking back inside he headed back to the table.

“Why did you do that?” He heard Siannah say and he stopped behind the blocked booth.

“Excuse me?” Denise replied.

“He’s practically spent his entire time here inside.  He doesn’t talk to any one, you didn’t even know where he lived, he invites you out here one time and you just…”

“And what makes you think you can tell me how to talk to my Son?” His Mom snapped.

“You don’t get it do you?” Siannah said to her.

“Excuse me?” Denise gasp shocked.

“He thinks he’s protecting you, you can’t see how scared he is of this woman?” Siannah whispered angrily and he could barely hear her.  “Alex is just starting to open up again you can’t expect him to just return to his old life again.”

“Old life?” Denise replied.  “That is his life, the group, those boys, but I wouldn’t expect you to understand that.”

AJ stepped around the booth and glared at his Mom.  “I forgot my jacket.” He replied.

“Well I’m done too” Denise relied as she got up from the bench.  “I’ll be by the truck.”  He watched his Mom as she walked away and then he looked down at Siannah.  Sitting down across from her where his Mother was sitting as she started to collect her belongings he looked at her. 

“I’m sorry” AJ said and she looked up at him.

“For what?” She replied as she draped her wool coat over her arm.

“I heard what she said to you.” AJ said as she started to get up but she didn’t say anything. “Sia” He said as he gently took her arm.

“It’s fine” She sighed.  He let her go as she headed towards the front because he wasn’t going to start bickering here.

“Sir?” A man said from behind him and he turned around. “Your bill”

AJ took it from him.  “Thanks” He replied with a light smile.

Fearful Renegade

Fourteen

February 5th 2011

AJ sat at the island in his kitchen with the mug of hot coffee sitting in his hand.  The small burning sensation didn’t bother him though, he was to busy being angry.  Angry at his Mother for the hissy fit last night and angry because Siannah went home last night because of it.  She wouldn’t talk to him about it all she told him was he should spend a night with his Mom because she was only here for a couple of days.  He knew it was more than just that.

His Mom was now in the shower and going to get ready because she was going with him to take Dew to the dog park.  He looked over at his dog who laid on his stomach, legs behind him, his snout resting on his paws.  The dog stared at the door and then sighed.

“What’s wrong with him?” His Mom asked and he looked up as she came down the stairs.

“He’s waiting for Sia” AJ said before taking a sip of his coffee.  “And before you go spouting off no, I did not get the dog for her, I got the dog before I met her, it’s how I met her.”

“I know you told me that already.”

“Really? Cause I thought I told you how I felt about her but judging by last night you heard sweet fuck all.”

“Alex don’t swear at me.” Denise replied with a tone of discipline.  “Look she’s the one that attacked me.”

“Attacked you?” AJ’s voice squealed slightly in anger.

“She should have kept her nose out of something that wasn’t her business.” Denise snapped defensive.

“She’s been apart of my life for a year, a major part of my life…”

“But does she know you Alex, does she know about the drinking, drugs, girls, and the battle you fight with your Father…”

“You don’t understand Ma…” AJ said interrupting her.  “That’s not me anymore.  I like it out here, I like just being able to sit around and do nothing or get up and go out and not have to inform fifty people I’m doing so.”  He stood up from the bench.  “I locked myself in this house for months and I did a lot of thinking.  One of the things I’ve learned out here is you can’t control what people do, no matter how much you want too.  So I’ve learned to let go of some of it.”  He put on his jacket and looked at her.  “She knows about the drinking, the drugs, the girls and she knows about Dad, she knows it because I told her, and that’s all I can do because it’s in the past.  There are things about her past I don’t know but one day I’m sure I’ll find out.”

“But Music is your life, you breath it you’ve said that before.” She said to him as she followed him to the door.

“And right now it’s not, whether it’s because of the stalker or I’m just over it I don’t know.  Maybe some day I’ll start writing, maybe some day I’ll go back to it but right now I am happy with the way things are.”

He put on his jacket and grabbed the leash hanging on the wall.  Dew quickly made his way over and he hooked the leash through his collar.  Standing up straighter he looked at his Mom and sighed.

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it mattered but she asked me to call you, it was her idea for you to come out here.  She wants me to let everyone else back in but there’s a difference between you and her.” AJ said.

“And what is that?” Denise replied with a snotty tone.

“She’s not forcing it on me, she was just happy with me letting her into my life, with letting you come out here, and despite what you told her, she does know me, she knows me pretty damn well.” AJ said as he opened the door.  “Now I’m going to go are you coming with me?”

His Mom didn’t say anything as she grabbed her coat and walked outside putting it on.  AJ sighed to himself and then looked down at Dew.  Giving him a gentle tug he motioned for the dog to follow him.  He loaded him up in the truck and climbed into the diver’s seat.  Knowing he should let it go he started to truck up but as he looked out the front window waiting for the vehicle to warm up, he looked over at his Mom.

“Look I didn’t know it then but I needed to get away.  I needed to learn how to do shit on my own because when it comes down to it all there is, is me.” AJ told her.  “I’m not who I was a year ago, I’m not who I was two months ago.”

AJ drove them out to the dog park.  His Mom didn’t say anything on the way out there or while they were there.  He didn’t say much either, just spent the time tossing Dew’s Wubbie across the field.  When they got home he went upstairs and showered.  He got dress into a fresh pair of jeans and a hoodie and then made his way downstairs.

“There’s food in the fridge, Dew’s got lots of food, just let him out once in a while…” He said as he bent over and started writing something.

“Where are you going?” She asked.

“Going to Sia’s and fix the problem you caused last night.”

“Problem?” Denise replied shocked.

“That’s her number I’ll be a couple of hours but I’ll be back.” AJ told her ignoring her stunned state and handing her he piece of paper. 

“Alex” His Mother said in protest as he started to walk towards the door but he again ignored her as he opened the door and walked out.

When he pulled up in front of the house he saw her truck sitting in the drive way, so he parked and climbed out of the vehicle.  He walked up the drive way and stopped at her front door.  Opening the storm door he knocked and waited.  When he looked into the wooden door window he saw her coming down the stairs.

“Hi” She said when she opened the door, he noticed her hair was in ponytail and it was still wet.  “Where’s your Mom?”

“She’s not here can I come in?” He asked.  Siannah nodded and let him inside.

            “So what’s up?” She asked as she closed the door.

            He didn’t say anything and when she turned around he gently grabbed her by the arms and kissed her.  At first she was tense and then she relaxed, when he pulled away he looked at her.

“I am so freakin’ sorry about my Mom.” AJ told her apologetically.

“Alex I told you...”

“I know what you told me but I know there was more too it so talk to me.” He said as he let go of her arms.  She walked over to the couch and sat down.  “Is it what she said last night?” He asked as he followed her and sat down.

“Not really” Siannah replied with a light shrug.

“Then what?”

“It’s just that what if you do decide you want to go back there, I don’t know if I would fit in there.” She told him.  “I just don’t think I could handle someone bringing in their ‘fashion accessory’ for check up.”

He lightly chuckled and then sighed.  “I never said I was going and I don’t want to, I’m happy with my life here in Parksville.”

“But your friends” She replied with a slight plea in her voice.

“I’ll call Kevin if he wants to come out, he can come out and I’ll tell him the same thing I told my Mom.” He said to her as he took her hand.

“What did you tell her?” She asked hesitantly.

“That’s not my life now, I don’t know exactly when it stopped being my life but I’m really happy here, with you, and just living.” He said and she smiled slightly. “I know that was fucking corny I’m sorry.” He replied quickly.

“No” She said still giggling a little.  “No it wasn’t.”

“I’m sorry about my Mom she’s always been way, waaaay over protective.” AJ told her.

“It’s ok” Siannah replied with a light smile.

“Got anything planned wanna go out to dinner?” He asked.  “My treat this time.”

“It was your treat last time.” She replied.

“Ya cause you walked out on the bill.” He said jokingly nudging her.

“Alright” Siannah said still chuckling. 

They walked to the door and Siannah grabbed her jacket.  They walked to AJ’s truck and climbed in.  He drove around town a bit to distract her and then he made his way to the Heli-Taxi building.  When he parked the truck she turned and looked at him.

“We’re going to Van to eat?” She asked.

“Why not?” He replied.  “The Helicopter only takes twenty minutes.”

“What about your Mom?” He asked.

“I told her I would be gone a while.” He said as he shut the truck off.

“Alex you really should spend time with your Mom, she’s only here another day.” Siannah said as she looked a him.

“Look Sia, I know you’re still dealing with the loss of your Mom but the relationship I have with my Mom is totally different then the one you had with yours.” He told her.  “Don’t get me wrong, I love her but you and me, we just went through different things and some times I just gotta step back.”

“Why doesn’t she like me?” Siannah asked.

“It’s not that she doesn’t like you Babydoll, it’s me, she’s just so worried about me and she’s lashing out.  She hasn’t been around and yeah that’s my fault but she doesn’t understand that I’m not that person anymore.  This whole stalker thing has changed me and it’s just going to take time for her to realize that.”

He took her hand and kissed it.  “So let’s go have a nice quiet dinner okay?”

“Okay” She replied and he lightly smiled.

Fearful Renegade

Fifteen

When they got back from dinner things were pretty tense.  Denise made it a point to ignore Siannah and by the time AJ’s Mom left her son wasn’t talking to her either.  He was livid she treated Siannah the way she did and after he reached out to her and let her in.  And even with all this drama going on he never forgot about the package and when the next one would be, now that him and Siannah were back together. 

            Then that day came.

February 8th 2011

“Thanks Alex I’ll get the officers to step up patrols and I’ll get someone to watch the coast line.” The Detective told him as he took another ‘gift’ from AJ.

“Okay thank you” AJ replied.

He walked the officer to the front door and let him out.  Closing the door AJ locked it and turned around.  Siannah was sitting on the couch, Dew sitting on the floor in front of her, and his head on her lap as she softly rubbed his ears.

“I don’t understand, if she cares about you wouldn’t she want you to be happy?” Siannah asked as he sat down beside her.

“She’s sick, she doesn’t see it that way, in her eyes and her mind she’s the only one who can be with me.” AJ told her. “She probably thinks your brain washing me into not being with her, who knows.”

Siannah slid over next to him and slid her arms through his as she laid against his chest.  He wrapped his arm over her and laid his hand gently on her head.  How could his Mom not see how much she loved him, how much he loved her and happy he was? 

“I have an idea” AJ said as he looked down.

“What’s that?” She asked looking up at him.

“Why don’t you pour us some wine, start a bath and I’ll meet you up there after I let Dew outside for a bit.” He told her.

“That sounds like a great idea” She replied as he leaned down at kissed her.

AJ watched her for a moment as she got up and then he looked at Dew.  “Alright buddy let’s go.”

He walked over to the door and grabbed his jacket.  Opening the door he let the large dog out first and then he walked out closing the door behind him.  Wrapping the winter coat around him tighter as a crisp cold breeze blew past he shivered a little. Dew’s head and ears perked up and AJ sighed.

“Dew you better not go taking off after a rabbit, I swear if I have to chase you down again…” He said as the sound of a branch breaking distracted him. 

Suddenly he went crashing to the ground.  When he hit the snow he frantically turned to get onto his feet but stopped dead when he saw a small black tube a couple of inches from his face.  He heard a growl and then turned his head as Dew jumped on the person dressed in tight black clothing.  A bang went off as the person was slammed into the glass door by Dew.  The woman scrambled to her feet and took off as AJ scrambled to his.  He started to take off after her but then a fleeting thought passed.  Dew had been awfully quiet. 

AJ turned around and his breath was taken away.  Quickly he ran over to the Great Dane and dropped to his knees.  “Oh no Dew, buddy” AJ gasped out.  The dogs breathing was labored, his short white fur now red, and a bullet wound in his shoulder.  The dog whined when he saw AJ.

Jumping to his feet he ran to the door, pulling with a force he did not need.  “Siannah!” He screamed and then ran back to his dog.  He quickly took off his jacket and bunched it up.  Holding the fabric part to Dew’s shoulder.

AJ looked up when he heard the thunderous foot steps coming from his house.  Siannah came flying out with her medical bag and the phone.  She dropped to her knees and handed him the bag.

“Open this.” She told him as she took the coat from him.  Frantically he unclipped the snap and pulled apart the two sides.  “I can’t see anything.” He heard her say and her voice was panicky.  “Give…give me my otoscope.”

“What?” AJ replied not know what the hell it was.

“The light that Doctor uses to look into your ears.” Siannah replied sharply.  AJ looked into the bag and found what she wanted.  When he handed it to her she grabbed it in her hand upside down, she put his under her knee and pulled.  The top part snapped and all that was left was the light. 

“Get me the piece that looks like a tweezers.” She said as she looked at him.  “I think I can see the bullet.”

“Sia” AJ said worried and scared.

“Alex, just find me that piece please.” She said to him and he lightly nodded.

As he was digging through the bag he heard sirens and then squealing.  He found the ones that looked like large Tweezers and handed them too her.

“You already called the police?” He asked.

“When I heard the gun shot.” She told him.  “Then I heard you screaming.” He stopped talking when he saw her leaning down towards Dew.  “Hold his head, this is gonna hurt him a little.” She said quickly looking up at him.

AJ put both hands around his dogs head, the animal’s large, saggy sad looking eyes darted to him.  “Hang in there buddy, please.” He whispered.  Dew’s head jerked as he whined but AJ held it still. 

“Fuck” Siannah snapped.

“What?” AJ replied as he looked from her to Dew and back again.

“I can’t get it, I need to get him to the clinic I can’t do this here.” She said as she reached over and grabbed her bag.  It was then he noticed her hands, they were red and it wasn’t from being out in the cold.

“Siannah?” Someone shouted and AJ looked.

“Where’s the ambulance?” She asked as an officer AJ had seen before knelt down beside him.

“The call said someone was shot?”  The man said to her.

“And someone is, now where is that ambulance? I need to take him to my clinic.” She said and her tone was a little loud.

“Sia” The cop said in slight protest.

“Come on Charlie he’s a Great Fucking Dane how else am I suppose to get him there.” She snapped.  

AJ watched as the man gave into Siannah’s demands and grabbed his radio.  “What’s the ETA on that ambulance?”  The radio slightly squealed and then a woman’s voice came on. 

“2 minutes Charlie.” The woman replied.

“Sia” AJ said as she grabbed a bottle from her bag.  Her eyes darted to him.  “Is he going to be okay?”

“I don’t know” She replied as she looked back down.  AJ watched as she twisted the cap off grabbed a cloth from her bag and poured the liquid onto the cloth.  It splashed everywhere but she didn’t seem to care as she placed the cloth over the wound in Dew’s shoulder.  The dog whined as it lied there panting.

“I know, I’m sorry Dewwie.” He heard Siannah whisper.

AJ looked up when he heard something loud coming down the road.  He sighed a little when he saw the ambulance.  The men jumped out and pulled a stretcher from the back.  He was kind of impressed how they were able to get it through the snow. 

“We need to get him to the animal clinic.” The man Siannah called Charlie told the ambulance driver.  “It’s the only thing big enough.”

“Just put him on like a human.” Siannah said and the men looked down at her.  “I’ll go with you, just please Peter we need to hurry.”

“Okay” The man Siannah called Peter replied with a nod as he walked over with the long back board. 

AJ watched as they placed it beside him and on the count of three Siannah, AJ, the officer and the EMT rolled Dew so the board could be slipped under.  They lifted the dog up and put him on the stretcher.

“Mr. Mclean, I’m going to need a statement on what happened.” Charlie said too him.

“I need to go with him.” AJ told him.

“And you can go as soon as I get a statement.” Charlie said.

“Alex its okay I’ll be with him, I’ll see you at the clinic.” Siannah told him as she wiped her hands on a towel an EMT had given her.  He pulled her into his arms and closed his eyes.

When he let her go she ran over to the ambulance and jumped in.  He watched as the vehicle took off down the street sirens blaring.  As he looked back to his backyard, he was shocked to see more officers walking around; he hadn’t seen them arrive amongst all the commotion.

“Alright Alex what happened?” Charlie asked.

Taking a deep breath AJ started to tell the Officer what had gone down and for the first time replayed everything in his head.  The calm night, the chilly breeze, Dew’s reaction to something in the woods and he realized then the dog must have heard her.  When he had finished talking another officer came over to Charlie.

“Found a small pistol over by the back doors Sir.” The man said .

“Alright, bag it; I’ll make sure Siannah saves the bullet.” Charlie said and then he looked at AJ.

“Can I go to the clinic now?” He asked.

“Sure” Charlie replied.  “I’ll take you over there.”

“Thanks” AJ replied because he wasn’t sure if he could drive right now.  His whole buddy was a fuzzy numb and he had a hard time just putting together a sentence. 

It may seem silly to some but Dew was his dog, Dew was his best friend, and he didn’t want to lose him.  That Dog was there for him during a time when no one was and as he sat there staring out the police car window he realized.  It wasn’t Siannah that got him to open back up, it was Dew.

When the car stopped he looked up and saw they were waiting to turn into the clinic.  The loan car drove pass and then the Officer turned into the plaza parking lot.  Charlie parked next to the ambulance as AJ unbuckled his seat belt.  He opened the door and quickly got out of the car.  With a hurried pace he made his way to the buildings door and walked inside.

“She took him in the back; Matt’s back there assisting her.” The one EMT too Charlie as they walked in.

“Did you want to go back there?” Charlie asked AJ.

“No, no I don’t want to bother her.” He said and then he walked over to one of the waiting chairs and sat down.

“You’ve taken a lot of things from me but you are not going to take him.” AJ thought as he rested his chin on his hands.  He sighed as he closed his eyes and waited for Siannah to come out.

Fearful Renegade

Sixteen

AJ sat in the room waiting.  He listened to the EMT bicker with Charlie about how this was a waste of their time and AJ wanted to punch him out.  Every once in a while his eyes would dart to the clock on the wall.  Ten minutes went by; twenty, thirty, and AJ found himself getting restless.  The door to the clinic opened and he was shocked and a little confused to see Becca come in.  She said nothing as she walked past everyone and down the hall.

They were coming up to the one hour mark when he heard a door down the hall open.  Standing up he listened and heard the footsteps coming down the hall.  His heart pounded against his chest and when the Peter the EMT walked out he held his breath.

“Let’s go” Siannah’s friend Peter said to his partner and without another word the two left.  AJ looked over at Charlie and then he heard more footsteps.  Slowly almost hesitantly like his body didn’t want to go, he walked over towards the hall way.

When he saw Siannah he couldn’t hold it in anymore.  “Is he going to be okay?”

“Yeah” She told him with a relieved smile.

“Seriously?” AJ blurted out as he started to cry.  He grabbed Siannah and pulled her against him.

“Alex I need to tell you something.” Siannah said and he pulled away from her.  He looked at her waiting to hear what she had to say.  “The bullet went into his shoulder, there’s a lot of muscle before the bone, especially on a Great Dane so it slowed the bullet down but it hit his shoulder bone.  It cracked it vertically, splitting it into two so I had to pin the two pieces back together.” She continued.  “He’s going to need a lot of therapy to get that shoulder strong enough, he may never be able to walk right again, it could lead to arthritis, I just want you to know what he’s in store for.”

AJ nodded. “Okay, can I see him now?”

“He’s still under the anesthetic.” She told him.

“I don’t care, just for a second please Sia.” He said and she gave him a light smile.

“Okay.” She nodded.

“I’m going back to the station see what they’ve put together, any leads, I will call you tomorrow Alex.” The Officer said.  “Oh Sia, I need the bullet.”

“Right here.” She said as she pulled the plastic bag from her jacket pocket.

“Thank you” Charlie said taking it and then he left.

“So why is Becca here?” AJ asked as they started walking down the hall.

“Peter was bitching at me so I got a second and called her to come assist me.” Siannah told him and she sounded just as annoyed about it as he was.

“Yeah the other one was bitching at Charlie about wasting time here.” AJ said with a small frown remembering.

When they stopped in front of the door AJ found himself holding his breath.  She opened the door and walked in, he followed.  He let his breath out and quickly breathed in again as he saw Dew lying on the table.  A long incision mark on his shoulder, the dog laid there like he was past out on AJ’s floor.

“I’m going to go write out his care list for Sasha, I’ll watch over him until she gets here, you two should go home and rest.” Becca said as AJ walked over to Dew.

“Thanks Becca” He heard Siannah say.

“No problem hun, he’s a tough dog.” She said as Siannah lightly laughed.

AJ looked down at Dew, the dog laid sleeping with a small breathing tube taped around his snout.  “I didn’t know you used those.”

“Well we usually have a cone but I don’t have anything big enough for him, I’m sure he’ll try to eat it when he wakes up.” Siannah replied as she sat down in a chair.

AJ lightly laughed.  “So he’s going to be okay?” He asked again just wanting to make sure.

“Yea” Siannah nodded.  “He’s going to have to stay here at least a week; he’ll be mostly sedated so he won’t want to walk.” She took a deep breath.  “And then it’ll be a couple of weeks of light walking, we’re going to have to figure out how to move him around.”

“Move him around?” He asked a little confused.

“The light walking means when he has to go to the washroom, we carry him outside on a leash and basically let him stand there, he’s gotta build strength back up into the shoulder, otherwise it’ll put to much pressure on the pins and they could break.”

“Jesus I’m gonna have to buy a fork lift.” AJ said with a light laugh.

“We’ll lay him on a blanket and pull him around.” Siannah replied lightly laughing herself.

He looked down at the sleeping dog and gently put his hand on the top of his head.  AJ lightly petted behind Dew’s ears like he always did and sighed.  His dog was going to be okay.  He then looked at Siannah.

“Thank you” AJ said and she looked at him.  “Thank you for saving him.  He means so much to me and I thought I was going to lose him tonight.”  He started to break down again and then he felt Siannah’s arms wrap around him.  She held him until he got himself under control again.

“We’ll go back to my place okay? It’s closer to the clinic.” She told him and he nodded.  “I’m just going to go into the staff room and shower.”

“Can I wait here?” He asked.

Siannah softly smiled.  “Sure”

He brought the chair over and sat down by Dew.  He looked at his paw which had an IV tube going into it and it was wrapped and tapped much like a human’s would be.  A small sigh escaped from his lips as he frowned.

“I’m sorry Dew, sorry you got caught up in all of this too.” He told him.  “And I promise when you get home I will barbeque you up the best sirloin you’ve ever had, even if it’s minus fifteen outside.”  AJ continued to talk to him as he sat there just in case his lovable companion could here his voice. 

After a while AJ looked down at his watch and realized Siannah had been in there for a while.  With a kiss on Dew’s head AJ stood up.  “I’ll see ya later bud” He said and then walked out of the recovery room.

He wasn’t exactly sure where the Staff room was, he had only been back this far a couple of times.  Walking down one hall he looked at each of the name plaques on the door and got lucky when he saw the one labeled Staff Room.  Knocking on the door gently he waited her to say something.  When she didn’t he opened the door slowly and peaked his head inside. 

The room was a pretty decent size, a couch, table, chairs, a TV, Soda Machine, Microwave, and a fridge.  Near the left back side of the room he saw a door at read Lockers.  Walking into the lounge he headed to the door and listened again.  He didn’t hear water running so he slowly opened the door.  When he did he could hear the muffle cries of Siannah and he frowned as he gently closed the door.  When he walked around the lockers he saw her sitting on the bench, her hair wet, and she was wearing hospital scrubs. 

“Sia?” AJ said as she looked up at him.  She looked back down as she wiped her eyes.  Her breathing was labored like it usually was after a good cry.   He sat down in front of her and placed his hands gently on her knees.

“I-I heard the shot and I grabbed the bedroom phone, I heard you scream and I thought…” She stopped and started crying again.  AJ said nothing as dropped to his knees from the bench and wrapped her in his arms.  After a moment she pulled away.  “And then I saw Dew lying there so I grabbed my bag…and I thought I could get it out right there but it was too deep and…”

“Sia you did a fucking spectacular job.  That dog is still alive because of you.” He told her as he took her hands. 

“I still don’t know what happened.” She told him. 

AJ stood up and sat beside her, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against him.  He then told her what happened.  Going outside, the reaction Dew had and what he thought it was, and then what happened afterwards. He told her about getting tackled, the gun, Dew attacking and then the gun going off.

“I was about to chase her down because she was right there but then I realized about Dew, I ran to him and saw him lying there, that’s when I yelled for you.” AJ told her as she sat and listened.  “Let’s get you home okay?”

“Okay” She nodded.

At that moment it was about her.  Dew was fine and resting and now he just wanted to make sure she was ok.  This amazing woman who stayed calm, focused and strong through out the night, she is the reason Dew was still alive and he was going to let her know how thankful he was.

“Hey” Becca said from the desk as they walked past.  They both stopped and looked at her.  “Take my car”

“It’s only a few blocks.” Siannah said.

“Si, your in scrubs and neither of you have a winter jacket.  Take my car” She replied as she reached into her purse. “When Sasha gets here I’ll walk over and pick it up. I have an extra set.”

“Thanks Becca” Siannah said as she took the keys and hugged her friend.

“Go home and get some rest.” She said as she looked and Siannah and then she looked at AJ. “Both of you”

They both got into Becca’s car and headed out of the plaza parking lot.  It wasn’t long till they reached Siannah’s house and she parked the car in front where AJ usually parks.  He climbed out of the passenger side and shut the door.  Following her up to the door he waited for her to unlock it and then followed her inside.

“So…” Siannah said as she turned to look at him. “…you still up for that bath and wine?” She asked as she slipped her arms around his back.

“Hell yes” AJ sighed as she lightly smiled.

Fearful Renegade

Seventeen

February 9th 2011

AJ turned his head as his eyes opened and he looked at the empty pillow beside him.  Slowly he sat up as the sheet fell down his bare chest and he rubbed his eyes waking up a little more.  He yawned and looked over at the alarm clock by Siannah’s nightstand.  It was one in the afternoon.  Pulling the blankets off he put on his boxers and his jeans and proceeded to leave the bedroom.  When he opened the door he was immediately hit with the strong aroma of bacon and eggs.

“Mmm” He sighed with a smile and then headed down the hall.  With a slight skip he walked down the stairs.  He hit the hallway and walked towards the kitchen.  When he reached the source of the aroma he smiled.  Siannah dressed for the day was putting bacon onto a pan as the toaster popped out some toast.

“Hungry?” He asked as he walked over to her.

“Yes and if I am lord knows you are” She replied with a sarcastic smile.

“Haha” AJ replied rolling his eyes as he walked to the fridge. “Have you checked on Dew at all?” He asked as he grabbed the orange juice from the shelf.

“Yes” She said as she sat down and put the plate of toast on the table.  “He’s doing well but he’s been whiny and not eating.”

“Really?” AJ replied as he sat down.  “Is it just cause he’s all groggy?”

“Could be but when we’re done we’ll head over there, maybe you can get him to eat.” She told him as she grabbed the ketchup.

“Ok” AJ replied with a nod and then looked at the food in front of him.  Scrambled Eggs, Bacon, strips and Canadian, home fries and Toast, she had everything laid out.  Not that he minded but it just seemed a little much for the two of them.

“So what are these pins doing for him?” AJ asked as they ate.

“The bone cracked almost right down the middle, so I needed to attach a plate to hold it together while the bone heals.” She told him as she reached for her glass.  “The screws hold the plate in place.”

“How did you put them in?” He asked as she took a sip from her glass.

“The same way they put them into people.” She replied.

“A drill?” He replied a little queasy.

“Normally humans would be put into a sling afterwards but we can’t do that with Dew, so we need to keep him sedated until he can stand on it for a few minutes every few hours and slowly work it back in.”  She said as reached for some toast.

“So why do we have worry about the pins breaking?” He asked.

“Well it’s not so much the pins breaking as the fresh holes for the pins, it will only take them a week or so to heal then the bone on the inside of his shoulder will be strong enough that the pins won’t create a fracture.”

“I get it now” He replied with a nod.  “Are they permanent?”

“Could be we’ll just have to see.” Siannah said with a slight frown.

When they finished they got into Siannah’s truck and headed to the clinic.  There were few people inside.  One lady with a cat, someone with a lab and another person with a small lap dog, and when the door chimed even the animals responded.

“Hi” Sasha said with a smile.

“Hi” Siannah said as she walked up to the desk.  “Can I get Dew’s charts?” She asked.

“Yep” The woman replied she walked over to a filing bin.  “He still hasn’t eaten anything, and Becca and I moved him to the Staff Room, there’s more room in there for him to lie down.”

“Okay” Siannah replied as she opened the folder.  She then turned to AJ.  “Let’s go” He followed her down the hall and walked in behind her into the Staff Room.  His eyes scanned the room and he saw Dew lying in the corner.  When his head didn’t move AJ wondered if he was sleeping.  He walked right over to him and knelt down beside him.  When he did the dog’s head slowly lifted up a little and he let out a sighing whine as he saw AJ.

“Hey buddy” AJ said with a smile as he rubbed behind the dogs ear.  The dog nudged his head around and he knew Dew was happy to see him.

“Here” Siannah said as she handed him a bowl.  AJ took it and looked inside at the dog food.  Reaching in he scooped some up with his pointer and middle finger.  “I have gloves.” Siannah said.  Dew began licking the food off of his fingers.

“I’m good” AJ replied with a light smile and she smiled back.

“His blood pressure looks good, heart rate looks good, his white blood cell count is a little high but that’s normal after surgery.” Siannah said as she sat down in a chair by them.  AJ sat there and made sure Dew at the whole bowl of food.

“Figured it was just him missing you” Siannah said as he walked over to the sink with the bowl.  “I’m going to go check on some of my patients while I’m here.”

“I’ll be here” AJ said as he dried his hands.  He walked back over to Dew as the door to the Staff Room closed behind Siannah.  Sitting down on the ground he crossed his legs and sat on the floor.  “Should have brought your Wubbie” AJ sighed and the dog whined a little as he nudged his head.  “Fine” He replied as he began to rub behind Dew’s ears again.  His eyes drifted over to Dew’s shoulder and he frowned at the gaze and bandages around his chest and shoulder.

“Man Dew I’m so sorry” AJ sighed. 

He sat on the floor of the clinic Staff Room rubbing behind the dogs ears, to afraid to pet anywhere else, not wanting to hurt him.  When the door opened they both looked towards the door and saw Siannah walking in.

“How are things?” AJ asked.

“Good” She replied as she sat down beside him.  Dew shifted his body and nuzzled into Siannah.  “I got a call from Charlie, he wants us to go down to the station.”

“Now?” AJ asked and Siannah nodded.  He frowned at the thought of leaving Dew again.

“We can come back when we’re done.” She told him and he realized she must have read his face.

AJ and Siannah said goodbye to Dew and left the room.  The sound of Dew whining not wanting AJ to go broke his heart.  “He’ll be fine” Siannah said as she took his hand.

“I know” He replied with a light smile.

They went to the Parksville station and met with Charlie.  AJ noticed how small the station seemed.  It was definitely smaller than the one in California.  As he looked around the building he wondered where the cells were.  Only a couple of desk, a few office doors and that were the make-up of the building.

When AJ heard a door open he looked to his left and saw Charlie walk out and then to his surprise so did Detective Snyder.  His face fell in confusion but brushed it off as him needing to be out here to investigate.  The two men walked over to him and Siannah.

“Hello Alex” The Detective said.

“Hello” AJ replied.

“We can talk in this room” Charlie said as he pointed to the room the two had just walked out from.  AJ and Siannah followed the men into the room and sat down at a large plain table.

“We think we may have gotten a lead.” Snyder said as he looked over at AJ.

“Really?” AJ said a little hopeful.

“Do you recognize this?” Snyder asked as he handed him a bag with a gold bracelet.  AJ’s eyes frowned as he took the bag from the Detective.  It did look familiar too him but he’s soon so many pieces of jewelry it was hard to remember where.  “There’s an inscription on the back.”

AJ turned the bracelet in his fingers and looked at the writing on the back.  His heart stopped, his breathing stopped, everything stopped as he stared at the words.  “I-I- don’t understand.”

“Nothing was taken from your house that night Alex, she never reported that bracelet missing and now I can’t locate her.” The Detective told him as AJ sat completely still.

“We found it by the bushes against your house; looks like it got snagged and broke off.” Charlie said but AJ didn’t look at him he kept staring at the name.

“Did you give her that bracelet Alex?” He heard Snyder ask.  “Is that Emily’s bracelet?” 

He could hear Siannah’s head snap around to him.  It couldn’t be, why would it be here.  “Yeah…” AJ spoke quietly as his throat dried up and his stomach knotted.  “Yeah it’s hers.”

“Alright” Snyder said.  “I’m going to go see if the database has updated I will be right back.” Snyder told them.

Snyder stood up from the desk taking the bracelet from AJ and grabbing some folders.  He said goodbye to AJ and Siannah and then walked out of the room.  AJ sat there motionless.  Why didn’t she report it missing?   

“I’ll be right back” He heard Charlie say through the hundred of thoughts flying around in his head.  Then he heard a door close and then he felt something touch his arm.  He knew it was Siannah but he just couldn’t get his brain to function.

“I’m confused” Was all he could spit out.

“It doesn’t mean anything Alex, maybe the stalker took it and the way the two of you broke up she just didn’t want to bother.” Siannah told him.

“No” AJ said shaking his head.  “She loved that bracelet, sh-she…” He could speak as his throat went dry again. 

Just then the door opened and Charlie walked back in.  “Alright Alex I just need you to fill out this form stating that you identified that as Emily’s bracelet and that you were the one who bought it for her.”  Charlie told him as he handed him a piece of paper.

AJ stared at the paper not being able to get his hand to write anything, his whole body was in a state of shock.  “Why would the stalker take it?”

“Who knows, it could be because it was given to Emily from you as a sign of affection and to her if it’s in her possession then the affection transfers to her.” Charlie replied. “People like this make up all kinds of things to convince themselves they are doing the right thing, for love or whatever.”

“Then why can’t you get a hold of her?” AJ asked.

“I don’t know Alex, Snyder just said he couldn’t contact her with the info he had so he’s getting a check on her for any new information.” Charlie told him.  “We can’t jump to conclusions.” AJ looked down at the paper, he stared at it.  Was she okay? Did the stalker hurt her? Where was she? His eyes darted down when he felt something touch his leg.  He looked up at Siannah and she softly smiled at him.  Taking a deep breath he looked back down at the paper and wrote a letter confirming that was the bracelet he bought Emily, and then signed it.

“Please be okay Em” AJ thought as he sat back in the chair and sighed.

Fearful Renegade

Eighteen

February 12th 2011

“So what if I’ve been there every fucking day? He’s my fucking dog!” AJ snapped as he stared at Siannah.

“I’m just saying Alex one day of going out isn’t going to hurt him.” Siannah replied.

“I don’t care Siannah I’m not going to Vancouver, if you want to then go fucking nuts.” He said as he walked over to the door, grabbed his jacket and went flying out the door.

By the time he got into the truck he regretted yelling at her but he started it anyways and headed to the clinic.  His mind was a whirl wind of thoughts between how Dew was doing, what was going on with Emily, and now Siannah was suffocating him.  Giant meal after giant meal, always wanting to sit and eat and now she was on his ass about going out.  He had enough on his mind couldn’t she just let him think.

He pulled up to the clinic and walked into the building.  He saw Becca behind the counter and walked over to her.  “Hey I’m here to see Dew”

“Where’s Sia?” Becca asked.

“At home probably cooking again” He sighed annoyed.

“She’s been cooking a lot?” Becca asked.

He looked at her.  “Yeah, like huge meals just for the two off us.”

“She’s stressed out” Becca told him.  “When she’s stressed she cooks.”

“Oh” AJ replied as the last few days started to kick in and now he really felt guilty. 

AJ gave her a light smile and then headed into the back.  He opened the door to the Staff Room and saw Dew lying on the floor on the blanket they brought him from home.  Siannah told him something with AJ’s sent will help keep him calmed and relaxed.

“Dew my man what’s up” AJ said as he sat down beside his dog.  The dog as usual was happy to see him.  “Only a couple of more days buddy and you can come home.”

He sat there in the corner of the room petting and lightly playing with his dog.  He also made sure Dew had something to eat while he was there and made sure he ate it all.  He thought about the last couple of days and what Becca had said.  Then he remembered when he found Siannah in the locker room the night Dew was shot.  He had been so caught up in what happened to Emily.  What if he left Emily there for easy pickings?

“What if the stalker…” AJ thought and then closed his eyes pushing the theory from his mind.

“Well buddy I think I need to head home and spend some time with Siannah.” AJ said as the dog looked up at him. 

Playing with the dog a few more minutes, he said goodbye and then left the staff room.  He said goodbye to Becca on his way out and then headed to his truck.  Making a detour he headed to the local flower shop and bought her a bouquet of Daisy’s and then headed to his house. 

As he turned onto his street he looked down the road, his eyes frowned in confusion as he peered closer.  One, Two, Three RCMP cars sitting on the street, his mind did a mental check and as his heart raced when he realized they were at his house.  He sped up a little and then hit the breaks along the opposite curve.  AJ jumped out of the truck and headed across his lawn.

“Stop!” Someone shouted.  “Stop!” The man shouted again grabbing AJ’s arm.

“My name is Alex Mclean, this is my house…my…my girlfriend is in there.” AJ replied with panic.

“Come with me” The Officer said as he let go of AJ’s arm.  He followed the man to the front door and he held his breath.  His heart was going a mile a minute and his body shook with fear.  When he walked inside he looked around, clothes everywhere, the end table by the couch was knocked over, and Siannah was sitting on the couch…

“Sia!” AJ gasped out when her saw her alive.  She looked over at him as he ran up to her, knelt down and pulled her against him.  Then he pulled her away just as quickly and looked at her.  She had a bandage on her forehead, her hair was messed up and there was a bruise on the corner of her lip.  “What happened?”

“After you took off I went to start some laundry, she came flying through the door at me, and she knew exactly where I was standing.” She said and then she nodded to the dryer sitting in the small cubby across the living room.  “I hit her with the basket, then I slammed the dryer door in her face, and then ran for the Panic button on the alarm.  She grabbed me, pulled me down; we got into it on the floor.” Taking a breath Siannah continued.

“I hit her with something, I-I don’t know what it was and then I climbed to my feet and was able to reach the button.  She lunged at me, knocked me over I hit my head and passed out.  The EMT’s woke me up.”

He pulled her back into his arms.  How could he be so stupid as to leave her by herself? Knowing the stalker was waiting for the moment.  He closed his eyes and whispered.  “I’m sorry”

She pulled herself away and looked at him.  “For what?”

“For taking off, for being so miserable.” He told her.

“You’re worried about Emily, its okay really.” Siannah told him.

“No, no it’s not I should be worried about you not her.” AJ said.

“I’m fine Alex” She said with a light smile.

“When I went to the clinic I told Becca about you cooking all the time.” He said as he sat down beside her.  “She then told me why you’ve been cooking all the time.  So I think since Dew is coming home in a couple of days and lord knows he’s going to be a handful.” He sighed and she lightly smiled. “I think with what happened today, we should go away for a couple of days, stay at a hotel in Vancouver or something what ever it was you wanted to go do this morning.

“It’s okay Alex really.” Siannah said.

“Sia”

“No really, I want to stay here with you, I get why you want to be close to Dew and…” Siannah before AJ interrupted her.

“And you’re stressed, if being here is making you stressed…”

“It’s not being here.” She replied and he could tell by the tone in her voice there was more.

“Then what is it?” He asked. She didn’t say anything but he saw her lightly bit her lip.  “Sia?”

“The last couple of days, I’ve gotten the feeling that you still love her and…”

“I don’t” AJ told her.  “I love you Siannah.”

“Yeah but Alex…”

He interrupted her again.  “No buts Sia, Yes I was worried about her, I am worried about her but she left me, she wasn’t strong enough to stick this out, and she made her choice.”

“But it wasn’t yours” Siannah said

“True” AJ replied with a nod.  “But it’s my choice now and I’m not going anywhere, I’m glad she left me because now I have you.” Siannah lightly smiled as AJ pulled her into his arms and hugged her.  “Now” He said as he gently pulled her away.  “Do you want to go to Vancouver?” AJ asked. 

“No” She replied.  “We can stay here; we need to get this place ready for when Dew comes home anyways.”

“You sure?” He asked as she sat down beside her.

“Yes” She replied with a light nod.

AJ sat on the couch with her waiting while the police went over every inch of his house.  He could hear the search dogs barking here and there.  As Siannah went over with Charlie again about what had happened AJ was kind of impressed.  She fought back and she fought back hard.  His eyes drifted over to the cubby to the dryer door now closed the dent still visible and he wondered where she learned to be tough like that but then again with four brothers, he assumed maybe it came as second nature to her.

“So I will have someone posted out front and I’ll inform the coast guard to keep an extra eye on this area when they patrol.” Charlie said as Siannah stood up.  AJ looked up as she walked Charlie over to the door. “Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?”

“Oh Charlie I’m fine, Randall and Bret have done far worse to me playing hockey.” She replied with a light laugh. 

“Alright then good night folks.” Charlie said with a wave.

“Night” AJ replied with a light smile and wave.

As Siannah walked back over to him her cell went off.  She pulled it from her belt and looked at it, then put the phone to her ear.  “Hey, what’s up…I’m fine…” AJ heard Siannah say and he could hear someone on the other end.  “No…No Bret…listen to…” Siannah grunted in frustration and AJ looked at her confused.  “I’m fine Bret” She said angrily.  “Then let me talk to Dad…Yes I knew…he told me a while ago…I don’t see…Put Dad on.” Siannah said her tone getting angrier and angrier.  “I said put…No I’m not going to Vancouver, I’m staying here.” She snapped.  “I don’t care Bret….are you going to put Dad on?” She asked and then another grunt of frustration was let out as she spoke again. “Fine!” And with that the call was ended.

“What’s going on?” AJ asked as Siannah slumped down onto the couch beside him.

“Someone from town called my Dad and told him I was attacked, he called Bret all worried, Bret called me.” Siannah said with a sigh.  “They don’t want me staying here, they want me to go to Vancouver and before you say anything no, I’m not going I don’t care if they or even you think it’s a good idea, I’m staying here.”

“I’m sorry” AJ said with a frown.  The last thing he wanted was to come between her and her family.

“Don’t be Alex they’re just worried and over reacting, they’ll calm down.” She told him as she took his hand.

Fearful Renegade

Nineteen

February 13th 2011

AJ leaned over across the arm of the couch and grabbed the phone.  “Hello?”  There was silence on the other end.  “Hello?” AJ spoke again as he sat up a little.

“Sing for me?” The voice said, it sounded distorted.

“Yeah” AJ replied and then hung up the phone.

“Again?” Siannah asked and AJ turned around on the couch and looked at her.  She was cooking again but this time she was making a meal that was suitable for them.

“Yeah, that’s number five this morning alone.” AJ sighed.  “Do we really have to call Charlie every time?”

“Yes” She replied. He rolled his eyes and picked up the phone dialing Charlie’s number and between last night and this morning he knew it off my heart.

“Hey Charlie it’s Alex…again.” AJ sighed and he heard Siannah snicker.  “Yeah, alright talk to you in ten minutes I’m sure” He hung up the phone and laid back on the couch. 

“Why do you think she’s calling so much?” Siannah asked.

He sat up and looked over the back of the couch at her.  “Probably because she’s not getting what she wants, so she’s pushing harder. That’s what Charlie said this morning when I first called him.”

“Do you think she’ll step up an attack?” She asked.

“There’s a cop outside twenty four seven, she would be…”

“Crazy” Siannah said and he looked at her.

Just then there was a knock at the door and AJ got up from the couch to answer it.  As he walked over to it he made it a point to look out the window, he saw the officer that was parked outside his house standing there.

“Charlie must have told him to make an appearance.” AJ said as he looked back to Siannah.  He opened the door and as he turned to greet the Officer the man tackled him to the ground.  He heard footsteps running past him and Siannah shout.

“What the hell dude get off!” AJ shouted as he pushed the man off of him.  The cop rolled to the floor and didn’t move.  Quickly he looked up and didn’t see Siannah but he heard scuffling from by the kitchen.  He jumped up to his feet and ran over by the Island; there he saw the stalker fighting with Siannah.  AJ grabbed the woman from behind and pulled her off of Siannah.  As he reached for her she shouted something and then he felt a stinging pain in the back of his head as he dropped to the ground.  Grabbing the back of his head as the floor beneath him spun he pulled his hand away and looked at it.

Blood.

As another sharp pain ripped through his brain he looked up and saw the stalker grabbing Siannah and tossing her out the door.  How the back door got opened he wasn’t sure.  He climbed to his feet and stumbled as his body went woozy.  Grabbing onto the island he held himself up.  With everything he had he walked over to the alarm and hit the panic button.  Then he stumbled his way across the house.  When he got to the door he saw the stalker and Siannah going at it.  A fist came flying at Siannah and she blocked it.  She brought her leg up and kicked the woman back.  The stalker came flying at her again but as Siannah threw a punch, the woman slammed Siannah down to the ground and he heard her grunt as her head smacked the frozen ground.  Then the stalker turned to AJ.

“You were supposed to come back.” The woman spoke as she stood over Siannah.  AJ looked down at her she was clearly out of it. 

“Come back?” AJ replied confused.  “Fuck you bitch; I don’t want shit from you!”

He went to lunge for her but she quickly withdrew another gun and cocked it.  “Don’t” She hissed as she pointed the gun at Siannah.  AJ stood there frozen as the light screeching of sirens were heard a ways away. 

“Please don’t hurt her” AJ begged.  “It’s me, right I’m the one you want so please.”

“So you beg for her life…” The woman said.  “But you didn’t beg for mine.”

“What?” AJ replied confused his breathing was quick and jagged, tears forming in his eyes, as he lightly shook. 

“You were supposed to come back!” She yelled.  “You were supposed to make it right, you were…” The woman paused and looked at AJ.

“What the fuck are you talking about you crazy bitch!” AJ shouted at her.

And then something happened, he wasn’t sure how his mind came to this thought, or these thoughts but as each one entered his mind they fit together like a puzzle.  Why he was suppose to come back for her, why he didn’t beg for her life, and why the bracelet ended up all the way out here.

Anger rose through AJ and he growled as he looked back to the stalker.  His body shook but this time not with fright.  His eyes burned a whole right through her and the woman gripped her gun tighter.

“You…you…” He wanted to say every dirty name he could think of to call her and first on the list was the dreaded ‘C’ word.  But he couldn’t.

He heard a loud thump and the stalker dropped to her knees.  He saw Siannah standing there holding a large branch.  As she brought the branch up to hit the woman again the stalker swung the butt of the gun and hit Siannah in the face.

“Sia!” AJ shouted as he started to run for her but there was a loud bang and he froze dead in his tracks.  “Sia!!!” AJ screamed as the stalker turned the gun at him.  “Sia!!!” He screamed again not caring.  “Sia stay with me baby please!”

“Shut up!!” The woman screamed as she cocked the gun again.

“Go head!” AJ yelled.  “Do it!” AJ shouted as he moved closer and put the gun to his chest.  “Do it!!” He screamed at her.  His eyes stared at the set of eyes looking back at him behind the black mask.  “Do it…Emily.” AJ said with a scary bitter tone. 

“Drop you weapon!!” He heard someone shout but his eyes didn’t break from hers. 

“Put the weapon down.”  One Officer said calmly. 

The woman dropped the gun, the officers ran in around them, as one officer put her hands behind her back another took of her mask.  “You were supposed to come back” Was all Emily said as they dragged her off.

AJ looked back to Siannah and he saw Peter and another EMT working on her.  He stood there watching, waiting and then…

“We’re loosing her!” Peter shouted.

“No, no” AJ whispered in shock.

“Alex” Charlie said from beside him.

“Siannah” AJ spoke but it was meant to be a yell ignoring Charlie. “Siannah!!” AJ yelled this time as he took a step forward.  “Sia please!!” He screamed as Charlie grabbed him.  “Siannah stay with me Babydoll please!!!” He cried.

“What did she say?” He heard the other EMT say to Peter.

“She’s crashing; we gotta get her outta of here!” Peter shouted.

“Crashing…” AJ said as he watched Peter get up on his knees as start CPR as another person put air into her lungs with a hand pumped oxygen mask.  He went to take a step but the emotion, the fear, the fighting, the whole thing had just been too much and he dropped to his knees.

“That’s a pretty big cut Alex; let’s get you to the hospital.” Charlie said as he helped AJ up.  He looked up as he heard the cart roll by.  Peter was running along side of it still performing CPR on her.  He closed his eyes tightly and started to cry.

The memory of only a couple of hours before played over in his mind as he sat on the hospital gurney.  The nurse, who cleaned him up, stitched him up and bandaged him up, had left the room and now it was just him with his thoughts. 

“She’s crashing!” Peter shouted and he closed his eyes trying to trap the tears but as the image of Peter giving Siannah CPR tortured his mind, they fell.

He looked up when he heard the curtain open and he saw Charlie walking in.  Wiping his eyes he calmed himself and then looked back up at the Officer.  He wanted to ask if she was ok but then again he didn’t.  He didn’t want to hear Charlie say she didn’t make it, didn’t want to hear Charlie say…

“She’s holding on right now.” Charlie said and AJ sighed as more tears fell. “She’s still in surgery; they got the bullet out now they’re trying to stop the internal bleeding.”

AJ started to cry harder.

“I also got the report from the Detective that questioned Emily.” Charlie said and AJ looked up at him.  “Turns out Alex, it was her all along.”

“What?” AJ replied confused.  “What?...How?...she was pushed down the stairs.”

“She paid someone from the Sunset Strip to push her, five hundred dollars and a homeless junkie will do anything for you.” Charlie said to him. “She set it all up, the gifts, the calls, the letters, she wanted you to be her hero, she wanted you to save her and when she told you to leave the hospital…”

“I was supposed to come back.” AJ replied hearing her words shout at him. 

Charlie nodded.  “When you didn’t she searched you down and when she found you.”

“She saw me with Siannah.” AJ replied.

“Had to sting a little.” Charlie said with a sigh.

“I guess I’ll head to the waiting room.” AJ said as he slowly climbed down from the gurney.

“Wait Alex there’s something else.” Charlie said and AJ stopped and turned around.  His heart raced and his palms got sweaty, what else could there be?  “Her Dad and Brothers are here.  They’re pretty pissed.”

“Pissed?”

“At you” Charlie told him.

“Me? Why?” He asked confused.

“They blame you for putting her in this danger; they don’t want you near her.” Charlie said.  “If you want to go home I can call and keep…”

“Go home? The hell I am, I’m staying here until Siannah comes out of the operating room.” AJ snapped.

“Alex, her father is her emergency contact, what he says goes; if he doesn’t want you there he can have security escort you out.” Charlie told him.  “You wouldn’t be allowed back in…ever.” AJ sat there quietly as his more anger went through him.  “If you go home, let them cool off and hopefully Sia will pull through this, and then you can come back I’m sure.” Charlie told him

“Fuck this shit” AJ said as he jumped down the bed and walked out into the hallway.  He made his way down to the waiting room and when he entered he was ambushed.

“Charlie I thought I told you not to bring him around here.” Bret barked as he walked right up at AJ.  He went to grab AJ but he blocked Siannah’s brother’s arm.

“I’m staying here until she gets out.” AJ snapped.

“No you are not” Bret said.  “This is your fault, you said you cared about her, even loved her yet you put her in this danger!”

“I told her to leave, I didn’t…this was the last thing I wanted to happen but she wouldn’t listen to me, she told me she wasn’t scared and she made her choice.” AJ snapped back.

“Get him out of here!” Bret snapped to Charlie.

“Go ahead kick me out but what are you going to tell her when she gets out and wakes up?” AJ yelled.

“You won’t need to worry about that.” Bret told him and then he looked at Charlie.  “Get him out of here before I call security.”

“Alex let’s go.” Charlie said as he took AJ’s arm.

“This is bullshit!!” AJ shouted as he pulled away from Charlie and walked away from the waiting room.

Fearful Renegade

Twenty

February 16th 2011

AJ grunted as he pulled on the blanket with his two thousand pound dog on it.  Okay it wasn’t two thousands pounds but he sure did feel like it.  Once he got to the back door he clicked on the leash and picked Dew up the way Becca had showed him.

“God damn it why didn’t I get a Chihuahua.” AJ grunted as he walked out the back door.  Carefully he set Dew down and watched him as he stood on his legs.  Slowly AJ lead him to the grass and then let him walk or do what he chose to do. 

His eyes fell in confusion when he heard his front door closed.  Turning around he looked into his house.  Taking a couple of steps making sure he was still close to Dew he peered inside and saw his Mother walking across the living room.  Then he saw Howie, Nick, Brian and Kevin.

“He’s out here!” Denise shouted into the house.

“What are you doing here?” AJ asked.

“Well when you called and told me what happened I called them, they want to talk to you.” Denise said as the four guys came out of the house.

“Hey man.” Kevin said as AJ looked at him, he then looked at his Mom.

“I’m not going back.” AJ told her.

“Whoa, that thing is huge!” Nick said as he walked out behind the others.

“Alex…”

“No” AJ snapped.  “I can’t believe you dragged them all the way out here.”

“You said yourself Siannah doesn’t want to see you.” Denise said.

“Her family says she doesn’t want to see me and until I hear it from her mouth.” AJ started to say but Nick interrupted him.

“But the stalker or Emily whatever she’s gone dude, you can come back and…”

“I don’t want to go back I like it here.” AJ told them.

“But what about the music, you said…”

“I know what I said; I also said that a couple of years ago.” AJ took a deep breath a sighed.  “I’m not getting into this again.”

“Well to god damn bad.” Kevin snapped and everyone looked at him. “We’ve spent the past year worried sick about you Alex, only hearing about you from your Mom, don’t you think we deserved better than that?”

“Look I did what I did because I didn’t want you guys ending up in the same danger as Emily.” AJ told them.

“But it was Emily that did that.” Brain replied and AJ looked at him.  “And she’s in jail now, there’s no reason to protect us.”

“No one’s saying you can’t come back here man, but don’t you want to start writing again, signing again, and get out on the road again.” Kevin said as AJ turned around and carefully picked up Dew.

AJ walked into the house and carefully laid Dew down on the blanket.  Brushing his clothes off he looked at his Mother and Friends.  “No” He replied.  “I want Dew to be able to walk so we can go fuck around at the dog park, I want to be able to know what is going on with Siannah, I want her to come home, and I want to move on with my life, with her.”  He told them and then bent down and dragged Dew over to his spot in front of the couch.

“I’m sorry I pushed you guys away for a year but honestly it was something I needed to do and not because of Emily but because I needed to deal with shit on my own, no safety net.” AJ told them.  “At first I didn’t even realize that’s what was happening  but it happened, who knows if I’ll ever get back into music, not saying it won’t happened but right now, this, here, with her, is my life.”

“So what about us then?” Kevin asked.

“You’re more than welcome to come visit, to call now that everything’s ok, you’re still my Brothers so that’s why I hope you can respect what I want.” AJ told him. “And I’m not saying I won’t ever go back to Cali, who knows maybe we’ll get a summer place there.” 

“A summer place?” Denise said.  “You’ve known her for…”

“For almost a year, like a month to the day, she’s not some chick I met on tour, someone I was looking for because I didn’t wanna spend the night alone, or some chick I met in a Karaoke bar.” AJ said putting an emphasis on the last statement.  “I met her a couple of months after I got here, I saw her at least once a day, we talked, we slowly got to know each other, and then we started dating, sounds pretty fucking normal to me.”

“But you’re already talking about spending the rest of your life with her.” Denise replied.

“I would like to yes, I don’t know what’s going too happened but now that all this bullshit with Emily is over, it’s something I can work on, what’s so hard to understand about that.” AJ said to her.

“We’re sorry Alex it’s just kind of hard for us to grasp our heads around, you weren’t exactly citizen of the year when you left.” Kevin said as AJ sat down on the couch.

“I know” AJ sighed. There were a few moments of silence and then Kevin spoke up.

“So, what all have you heard about Siannah?” His band mate asked.

“Not much” AJ said as he sat back.  “Charlie called the night I came home, said she was in post OP, she was stable but they weren’t sure if they stopped all the bleeding, and it was touch and go for the night.” AJ told them.  “Becca called me the next day told me she was still stable but the Doctors said it was going to be a couple of days before she actually woke up.”  The memory of her getting shot relapsed in his mind.  “She lost a lot of blood.”

“Who’s Becca and Charlie?” Howie asked.

“Becca is Siannah’s assistant at the clinic, she’s also Siannah’s best friend, and Charlie is a cop here in town.” AJ told him.

“And her Brothers and Father still blame you?” Denise asked and AJ nodded. “But I thought you said Siannah said she didn’t want to see you.”

“They said, well David said she didn’t want to see me.  He came by last night said she woke up and told them she didn’t want to see me and I should stay away when she gets out.” AJ told them.

“And you don’t believe them?” Brian asked.

“Fuck no!” AJ scoffed.  “She stayed through out everything even after I tried pushing her away.  After Emily attacked her, the phone calls, she wasn’t scared, and it makes no damn sense for her to just give up what we have now.”

“You could always send her flowers.” Nick said and everyone looked at him.  “Maybe they won’t think anything of it, thinking it’s from a friend, and then she’ll read the card.”

AJ thought about it for a moment.  “That’s actually a pretty good idea Nick.”

“Oh can I dress up as a flower dude and deliver them myself?” Nick asked.  AJ raised an eyebrow at him.  Howie rolled his eyes and lightly shook his head, Brian sighed and Kevin just stared at him, almost like Nick was growing a third head.  “This way you know she’ll get them.”

“What if they recognize you?” Brian asked.

“Well, I mean it’s not like her Brothers would know you well enough, a hat, sunglasses, it might work.” AJ replied.

“You’re not serious.” Kevin said as AJ looked at him.

“I can do it” Nick said with a nod.

“Wait you two don’t even know what room she’s in.” Kevin said and AJ frowned.

“He’s right” And then he snapped his fingers. “But Becca does.” Quickly AJ reached for the phone and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.  He dialed the number and waited as the phone on the other end rang. 

“Hello?” Becca said as she picked up.

“Hey Becca its Alex” He said as the people around him stayed quiet. 

“I’m at the hospital right now, can it wait till later?” Becca asked.

“Um, I want to send something to Siannah what room is she in?” AJ asked.  There was silence.

“Ohh, yeah the order. One second.” Becca said and AJ’s face fell in confusion.  “Okay so what did you have?” She asked again and he was still a little confused, was her cell phone getting crossed signals.  “Yeah 4 of those, okay, 5 of those right, and 9 of those yep that’s right.”

“What the hell are you talking about, 4 of what, 2 of…” AJ stopped. “Oh, oh oh.” AJ replied quickly.  “Okay cool thanks.”

“No problem thanks for calling and double checking.” Becca said and then hung of the phone.

“Room 429” AJ said after he hung up the phone.

“That was a weird conversation.” Brian said.

“I think Siannah’s brothers were around her, she was pretending to double check an order or something.” AJ told them with a shrug.

“So what should I ware?” Nick asked.

“Are you sure they’re not going to think something is up, it’s a small town.” Kevin said.

“Her Brothers and Dad don’t live here, they live in Vancouver.” AJ told him as he walked over to the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Brian asked.

“To get Nick a hat and glasses.” He told them as he hurried up the stairs. 

“This is gonna be awesome, I’m like a secret agent.” Nick said with some excitement. “Carter…Nick Carter.”

“Wasn’t there a fanfic like that?” Howie asked and AJ shrugged as he handed Nick the hat and glasses.

“Yeah” Nick replied and everyone stared at him.  “I never read it.”

“Bullshit” Kevin replied in a muffled cough.

“Eat me Richardson.” Nick snapped back.

“Alright so I’ll drive you to the flower shop, get the flowers and the card, and then take you to the hospital.” AJ told him.

“What about us?” Denise asked.

“Wait here we’ll be back.” AJ told her and then she rolled her eyes as she sat down.

“Don’t have time for this.” He thought to himself as he grabbed his jacket.

AJ and Nick got into his truck he chuckled as Nick bitched about how cold it was.  He started the truck and let it warm up and then pulled out of the drive way.  They went over what Nick should do as AJ drove them to the flower shop.  When they arrived he went inside and ordered a bouquet of daisy’s and then took Nick to the hospital.

Now for the hard part, the waiting.  He watched as Nick walked in the regular doors and took a deep breath.  Hoping that Nick made it through with no problems, hoping no one recognized him, and hoping her Brothers were wrong and she wanted to see him.  Then as he found himself getting antsy and tapping on his steering wheel he saw Nick walking out of the Hospital, no flowers either.

“So?” AJ said as Nick shut the door.

“Package Delivered.” Nick said with a proud smile.

“Was she awake, how did she look? Did she recognize you?” AJ asked a little excited.

“Yes, Tired, and No but I think her friend did.” Nick told him.  “Curly blond hair, kind of 80’ish looking?” Nick asked

AJ lightly chuckled.  “Yeah”

“Yeah she kind of had this look like she knew who I was.” Nick told him as they pulled out of the parking lot.  “I knocked on the door and some dude answered, told them I had flowers for her, they let me in and I gave them too her.  That’s when I looked over at her friend and she was like…well…we see that look all the time.”

“Hmm” AJ replied as he stopped at the light.  “Becca never lead me to believe she was a fan.”

“Yeah well like I said I’ve see that look before.” Nick replied.

“Did she read the card?” AJ asked.

“She was reading it when I left, didn’t want to stick around cause what delivery boy does.” Nick told him.

“Well at least she was reading it.” AJ sighed.

“What did you say?” Nick asked.  “I mean if it’s not too personal.”

“I just told her that I hoped she was okay, that I was going out of my mind worried about her, I missed her and that if what her Brothers told me was true I would respect that.” AJ said as they stopped at the last intersection before his street.  There was a moment of silence and the AJ looked over at Nick.

“Hey Nick”

“Yeah?” replied looking from the window to him.

“Thanks” He said with a light smile.

“No problem dude” Nick said returning the smile.   

Fearful Renegade

Twenty-One

AJ sat on the cold wooden chair as he lightly hung onto Dew’s leash.  The dog slowly walked around the area the leash would let him go.  It was now nightfall, the sun behind the horizon but still leaving a trail of light.  He took a deep breath and sighed as he wondered about Siannah.  He hated not being able to be there, not knowing what was going on, and wondering if they still even had a future.  The patio door opened and AJ looked up as Dew looked over.

“Hey” AJ said as he saw Kevin come out.

The fellas were still there and his Mom too.  Although his Mom had been much quieter than his friends were.  When him and Nick returned he ended up chatting with the guys and then they ordered Chinese food.  Now he sat out here making sure Dew got his nightly outing. 

“So is he going to get any bigger?” Kevin asked as he sat down on the cement step.

“Yeah, Siannah said he’ll grow a little bit more but mostly he’ll bulk up.  That’s why she’s worried about him walking in the future.  The bone is still growing and that could affect the bone scar when he hits adulthood.”  AJ told him.

“He seems like a tough dog.” Kevin replied with a light smile.

“Yeah” AJ replied with a nod.  His mind went back to Siannah and all the what if’s that followed.  What if her Dad and Brothers were right, what if she didn’t want to see him, what if their future was over.  He sighed with a light moan as he rubbed his eyes.

“What’s up?” Kevin asked.

“Just thinking about Sia.” AJ replied.  “This not knowing anything about her is driving me nuts.  Like if she got my card why hasn’t she tried to get back in touch with me.”

“I dunno, maybe she doesn’t want to push her Brothers.  I’m sure they’re hovering around her right now.” Kevin said.

“Maybe they are right” AJ sighed.

“You said yourself she wouldn’t have stayed through everything just to end it now.” Kevin replied.

“I just wish I knew what the hell was going on.” He sighed again as he leaned back a little.

AJ stood up opened the patio door and walked over to Dew.  He picked him up and carried him back into the house.  Laying him down on the blanket he dragged the dog back over in front of he couch.

“How long you gotta do that for?” Nick asked as AJ sat down on the floor.

“About a week Sia said.” AJ told them as he looked down at his dog.  “Help him slowly get strength back.”

Just then there was a knock on the storm door and AJ found himself a little jumpy.  He stood up and walked over to the front door.  Looking out the window he saw Charlie standing on the other side and he wasn’t in uniform.  His heart started to race a little.

He opened the door and as he did Charlie opened the storm door. “Hey”

“Hey” Charlie said as AJ stepped back to let him in.

“Is everything okay?” He asked as he closed the wooden door.

“Yep, she’s doing good, still really tired but she’s more aware when she’s awake than she has been the past few days.” Charlie told him.

“Good” AJ replied with a nod as he felt himself relax.

“So which one of you played delivery boy today?” Charlie asked as he turned to look at AJ’s friends.

“Ah-What?” AJ replied trying to play stupid.

“Alex” Charlie said looking back at him.

“It’s Valentines Day and I wanted to send some flowers what’s so wrong with that?” AJ asked.

“A normal delivery boy couldn’t have sufficed? Charlie asked.

“I wanted to make sure she got them.” Alex as he headed towards the couch.

“Alex if her Brothers had found out…”

AJ spun around.  “Had?” He asked.  “You mean they didn’t find out?”

“No” Charlie replied and he had calmed down already.  “In fact it’s why I’m here.”

“Listening…”AJ said showing interest.

“I got a call from Becca asking me to come down and make it look like I needed to talk to Siannah about what happened.” He told him.  “I go down there do what Becca asked and then Siannah told me about the delivery this morning.”  And he looked at AJ annoyed.

“She needed time to write a letter back and her Brothers haven’t left her alone for a second.” He said as he reached into his pocket.  “So while I was interviewing her.” Charlie said as made air quotes. “She wrote a letter to you.”  As he handed AJ the letter.  “Now I gotta head back I start early tomorrow.”

AJ took the letter from him. “Okay, see ya Charlie and thanks.” He said barely able to take his eyes off the envelope.   When he heard the door close he ripped open the side and pulled out the letter.  When he flipped it open his eyes began to scan the words.

“Thank you for the flowers, NOW GET YOUR ASS HERE PLEASE!”

At first his eyes frowned and then he started laughing.

“What?” Nick and Kevin asked at the same time.

“I need to go to the Hospital.” AJ told them after he gave himself a moment.

“Everything okay?” His Mom asked.

“Everything’s fine, I just need to get down there.” AJ told them.  “You’re more than welcome to crash here but I don’t know when I’ll be back.” He told them.

“I’ll stay and watch Dew” Nick said.

“I’ll stay too.” Denise replied.

“I think we’ll all just stay till you get back.” Kevin said.

AJ grabbed his jacket and said goodbye to his friends and Mom.  He climbed into his truck, started it and pulled out of the drive way.  At first he was extremely happy, she was okay, she wanted him there and everything would work out but the closer he got to the Hospital the more he realized what was in store.  Her Brothers weren’t going to be happy and he didn’t want to put her through that, not until she was stronger. 

When he parked the truck at the hospital he sat there a moment.  His mind drifted back to when he heard the loud ricocheting bang, the way his body jerked in fear, seeing Siannah lying there.  He tightly closed his eyes as he remembered screaming for her, remembered Peter yelling, and watching them wheel her away. 

He gritted his teeth and unbuckled his seatbelt. He got out of the truck, locked it and headed into the building.  It was weird how most Hospitals no matter where you were smelt the same, sterile, clean, yet a hint of something that your brain can never really register what it is.  He made his way to the elevators and waited until one came down.  Hit pressed the fourth floor and watched as the doors closed. 

Taking a deep breath AJ waited as the lift brought him closer to his floor.  He wondered if they would be standing there and he wouldn’t even get a chance to go to her room.  He wondered if some of them would be sitting in the waiting room and created a scene if front of people.  The bell dinged and the doors opened.

As he walked off the elevator he looked around, looking to see if he saw anyone.  With no one in sight he looked for the number boards to see which way her room was.  When he found the right direction he began to walk down the hallway.  His eyes scanned down farther and farther and when they reached the window at the far end, he realized her Brothers weren’t in the hallway either.

“Great” He sighed knowing they would be in the room with her.  When he arrived at her door he stopped and listened, hearing nothing so he slowly, quietly, opened the door, and when he poked his head in he saw no one but Siannah in the room.  She was lying on the bed; her eyes closed looking like she was lost in a peaceful sleep.  She was still pretty pail, her eyes a little sunken and as he got closer he saw the dark circles around them.

He exhaled as he caught his breath as the over whelming relief he felt just by seeing her chest go up and down as she breathed. The fear and nerves brought on by her family disappeared as he stood over her bed.  His eyes drifted along her body following the wires and small tubes they slithered around her body.  He cringed a little at the sight of the IV sticking into the back of her hand and he frowned when he saw the tub under her nose. 

Carefully he tried to lower the bed rail without making noise but the thing kept sticking as it went down, to his surprise it didn’t wake her.  Gently he placed one hand beside her on the other side of the bed and rested his other hand beside her head.  Slowly he leaned down and softly kissed her on the lips making sure he didn’t disturb the air tube on her nose.  He trapped them again and again and then just as he was about to pull away for the final time she kissed him back. As her finger slid down the side of his neck he pulled away.  Her eyes were half open and she gave him a tired smile. 

“Hi” She whispered.

“Hi” He whispered back.

“I’m sorry about my Brothers they’re dick heads.” She told him with a frown.

“Its okay” He told her as he pulled a chair over to the bed.

“No it’s not” She replied.  “When I woke up and you weren’t here I was confused I thought something had happened to you.” She told him.  “Then they told me that you took off to California.”

“What?” AJ replied a little bit pissed and hurt.

“Yeah” She replied as she shifted her body a little.  Her face squinted in pain a little.  “They’re idiots though…”

“Sia” AJ said with a small frown.

“No they are, like Becca wouldn’t have told me you were still here.” Siannah said and it made AJ laugh a little.  “When I found out you didn’t leave and they were lying to me I spazzed on them, even my Dad for letting them do it.”

“Look Sia, I get it they were upset, you guys just lost your Mom.” He told her and he noticed she had a funny look on her face, like she was remembering something. “And then this happens to you, they freaked out, and look who you’re talking to, I’m like king of freakouts.” He told her and she lightly smiled.  “So where are they now?”

“Hopefully back home, I’ve seen enough of them for this week.” Siannah told him.  “Now I know why they never left my room.”

“Why?” AJ asked.

“Didn’t want you sneaking in.” She told him.  “But I’m glad you’re here now and thanks for the flowers.”

He stood up from the chair and kissed her.  “You’re welcome” And then gently he she pulled him into a hug.  His eyes closed and he sighed.  “I’m so glad you’re okay, I really thought I had lost you.” He said before he succumbed to his sobs again.

“Alex?” Sia said her voice tired and groggy.  He pulled away and looked at her.  “Charlie told me…Was it really Emily?”

AJ lightly nodded.

Her brow frowned and squeezed his hand.  “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be” He replied as he brought her hand to his lips.  “Everything that happened led me to you, so nothing else matters okay?”  AJ said and then gently kissed the back of her hand.  As he leaned down he draped it over his shoulder and softly kissed her.  When he pulled away he looked into her tired half open eyes.  “You’re here, alive, breathing, and that is all that matters to me.”

Fearful Renegade

Twenty-Two

April 6th 2011

AJ grunted as he carefully set down the box onto the bare floor.  When he stood up he looked around.  This place was much bigger than the cottage.  The giant living room was cut off from the rest of the open house.  The large fireplace in front of him, the huge bay window that open the house to the view of his very large front yard to his left, and the breakfast window into the kitchen on his right. 

“Hey Alex!?” He heard Kevin shout and he walked out of the room.

“Where do these go?” He asked as he stood there carrying a couple of chairs.

“Kitchen” AJ said as he nodded in the direction.  He looked up at the tall long staircase that followed the side of the house up to the second floor.  He smiled when he saw Siannah lightly skipping down the stairs.

“Hey who said you could stop?” She asked as she walked up to him.

“You did.” AJ said with a light smile.

“I did?” She replied a little confused and then he pulled her against him as he kissed her.  “Oh so I did.” She replied as he pulled away.

“Awesome we’re busting our balls moving their shit and those two are making out.” Nick yelled as he walked past them with a box.

“Heaven forbid if the great Nick Carter has to lift something.” Siannah sighed.  Nick looked at her like a deer caught in head lights and then looked at AJ annoyed.

“You’re learning” AJ said with a proud smile as Nick huffed into the kitchen with the box he was carrying.  “Any word from your family?”

“Nope” Siannah replied with a light sigh.  “I emailed them the new address so…” She said with a light shrug.

“I’m sorry” AJ said as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t be” Siannah said as she titled her head to look him in the eyes.  “They’ll come around.”

AJ gave her a light smile.  He sure hoped they did.  He didn’t like the fact Siannah wasn’t talking to her Dad or her Brothers, or they weren’t talking to her, he knew how close they all were.

He watched her walk out the open door to the big moving truck outside.  AJ took a deep breath as he looked around again.  It had been about two months since Siannah got out of the hospital and after about a month of her staying at AJ’s they decided to get a place of their own.  It was outside of town along the tall cliffs of the island but still a ways away from the shore line below.   He walked into the room that was going to be their entertainment room.  Stopping at the patio doors he looked out onto the deck that wrapped around the entire house.  The wood looked like it floated above the large BC trees.  Only the tree tops jutted above the deck and he could see the ocean and the horizon.  When they came to see this place Siannah fell in love with the deck and the view.

He heard someone come in the front door and turned around, he saw Siannah carrying a box.  “Hey” He said as he quickly walked over to her.  “You’re not supposed to be carrying anything.”

“It’s light, it’s just bathroom stuff.” Siannah sighed as he took the box from her.

“You’re not supposed to be carrying anything.” He repeated and then headed upstairs with the box.

“What the hell am I suppose to do.” He heard her mumble as she walked to the kitchen.

“Go bug Nick” AJ shouted as he headed into their bedroom.

“I heard that!” AJ heard Nick shout from downstairs.

AJ set the box down in their bathroom off of their bedroom.  When he walked back out he sat down on the mattress that was put on the floor to outline where the bed would be.  With a deep sigh he let his mind wonder.  Things sure had changed in two months.  The stalker was gone and he still had trouble grasping the fact that it was Emily.  Gone to jail for ten years, out of his life for ten years but it could be sooner with good behavior or for her parole in five.

He realized Siannah was right, now was not the time to worry about hours or days, it was about them.  He didn’t care if his Mother or even the fellas thought it was too soon for them to be living together, he didn’t.  They weren’t the ones who felt what he felt when he saw her, when he woke up next to her or when he would go to bed with her.  They weren’t the ones who saw her get shot, they weren’t the ones who watched Peter give her CPR, and they weren’t the ones who almost lost the most amazing, beautiful, loving person he had ever met. 

It was true what he said to her New Years Eve.  He was headed down a path he didn’t even know he wanted.  He sighed as he thought about that night and a light smile broke across his face. 

“Hey” Siannah said from the door and he looked up.  “You okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine” He said standing up.  “Just taking a moment.”

“A moment?” She asked as he wrapped his arms behind her.

“I was thinking about how I had to get lost in order to fine myself.” He said and she lightly smiled.  “Just seems kind of funny.”

“And are you happy with what you found?” She asked as her hand rested on his arm.

He lightly nodded as he leaned in towards her. “Very” AJ whispered just before his lips took hers.  At first it was slow and soft but then as the world around them was pushed away…

“For the…come on guys seriously!” Nick whined as the two quickly pulled away. AJ and Siannah started giggling as they saw Nick standing at the top of the stairs with a box marked bedroom on it.  “Here” He said handing AJ the box and turned walking back down the stairs.  “I’m so done, every where I turn they’re sucking face.”

“Is he always this whiny?” Siannah asked as AJ’s chuckle turned into a laugh.

“Yes” Kevin said from beside them as he walked up the stairs.  “But only when he’s doing something.”  AJ nodded still chuckling.

“Fuck you Richardson!” Nick shouted from the kitchen.

“Nick please stop with the swearing!” Brian shouted from the door.

“See doesn’t it feel good to have us back man?” Kevin said with a sarcastic smile.

AJ turned into his room still holding the semi heavy box and scoffed.  “Yeah it’s just so over whelming I don’t know what to do with myself.” Kevin walked away laughing as AJ walked back over to Siannah.

“So since this is the last load, I’m going to go to Becca’s and get Dew.” Siannah said.

“No” AJ replied and she looked at him confused.  “Nothing strenuous, if Dew sees something and takes off.” He said.  “I’ll go get him.”

“Alex really” Siannah sighed with a slight roll of her eyes.

“Sia please”

She stared at him a moment and then lightly smiled.  “Okay, I’ll go start unpacking the kitchen, so we can eat soon.”

“No reaching” AJ said as he started jogging down the stairs and he lightly smiled when he hear her softly grunt in frustration.

“Hey where are you going?” Brian asked as him and Kevin lifted up the table top to his new dinning room table.

“Getting Dew” AJ shouted back as he walked up to the truck.

He made his way back into town and even drove by the old place stopping to double check they didn’t leave anything.  Then he made his way to Becca’s place.  He parked the truck in large drive way and walked up to the front door.  When he heard Dew bark he lightly smiled.

That was something they noticed he started doing, when someone knocked on the door he would bark, when he thought there was something around the outside of the house he would bark, and sometimes nothing at all would startle him and he would bark.  Siannah said it was because of what happened it’s a new defense mechanism he’s decided to use.  He wondered if it was a good thing but Siannah told him just have patients and teach him one or two barks are ok but nothing more.

“Are you guys done?” Becca asked as she opened the door.

“Just about” AJ said as Dew wiggled his way and almost knocked Becca over. “Hey buddy” He said as he knelt down and rubbed the dogs face.  She handed him Dew’s leash and he clipped it on.  “Well thanks for watching him.”

“No problem, tell Sia I’ll be by tomorrow and fill her in on stuff she missed at the clinic.” She told him.

“Okay” He agreed then they two said goodbye and AJ and Dew headed to the truck.

AJ watched as the dog walked ahead of him knowing exactly where they were going.  He still couldn’t run at full pace but his walking was back to normal.  Dew jumped into the backseat and AJ smiled.  Siannah said that was a good sign, that his shoulder could handle jumping around and rough housing, which Dew and him did before the dog left for Becca’s last night.

When he got home he didn’t bother with the leash and let the dog run towards the house.  He shouted incoming and everyone with boxes stopped moving as Dew flew into the house.

“Someone’s happy to be home” Kevin laughed as AJ walked up to him.

“Yeah” AJ replied with a light sigh.  “Dew seems happy too.”  Kevin smiled at him as he walked into the house and joined Siannah in the kitchen.

 He walked over to the fridge and pulled out the packaged meat he bought earlier that day.  “Is the Barbeque on?” He asked.

“Yeah but I thought we were having hamburgers?” Siannah asked as he walked away.

“We are, this is for Dew” AJ replied as he opened the door.  He heard Siannah lightly chuckle as he walked outside.