The rain was pouring and the sky was grey. Nick, however, was dry as he stood inside the waiting room watching through the window. His hands were in his pockets. He was breathing heavily and every so often his breath would catch in his throat.

He was trying his best not to cry.

He had always found waiting rooms to be bleak and the weather outside wasn't helping. He glanced around. Would it have killed the hospital to give the room a bit of colour? Not that it would have served any purpose. He was sure that even if the walls were lime green his mood wouldn't be improved any.

He sighed, continuing to watch the drops of rain as they hit the ground. There wasn't anyone else with him. Lauren had offered to come with him, but he'd declined.

This was something he had to do on his own.

Still, he couldn't shake the resentment he had towards the others. He knew that AJ hated hospitals and the sight of blood. Kevin was home with his family, as was Howie. It wasn't that they cared any less, but this whole thing had begun with Nick. It had been an unspoken agreement that when the time came, Nick would be the first person to see him.

This was the way it had to be, and yet it didn't feel right.

Perhaps it wasn't the fact that the other boys were missing. Maybe it was the fact that Leighanne and Baylee weren't there. That Leighanne had up and left the moment that things got hard. Yes, that was most certainly it. Every time Nick pictured her face his blood boiled.

The leaned his head against the thick glass and lightly hit his fist against it.

The rain continued to fall.

“Nickolas Gene Carter?” he heard the nurse call his name.

“Yeah,” he said, looking up from his self pitying stance. “That's me.”

“You can come right this way,” she said, motioning towards the hall. “He's ready to see you now.”

Nick nodded slowly, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. He knew he was supposed to focus on the future from here on out, but it was so difficult for him to forget what had started all of this in the first place.

One Year Prior

“Sixteen thousand dollars, I can't believe it!” Nick exclaimed, staring at his laptop screen in shock. “Guys!” he shouted, carrying his computer over to where the others were sitting in the catering area. “Check this out!” he pointed excitedly to the screen.

“What's that?” AJ asked, leaning over to look at Nick's computer. “Oh, your shoe auction?”

“Yeah!” Nick grinned, setting his computer down. “Look! Sixteen thousand! Isn't that great? We're really going raise awareness for clean energy with this!”

“Good for you, buddy,” Howie smiled, though he appeared to be busy with something else. Still, he turned to AJ. “At least signing those dirty shoes wasn't for nothing,” he laughed.

Nick wasn't fazed by their less than enthusiastic reactions. He continued to grin ear to ear, sitting down at the table and making sure to post on Twitter.

“You'd better send those shoes to her fast,” AJ said after a couple of minutes. “She paid a lot of money for them.”

“Yeah,” Nick nodded, shutting his laptop closed. “You're right. I should go get them.”

So he scurried off to his tour bus in search of his dubbed 'Dirty Kicks'. However, when he got there what he found was most certainly not what he was expecting.

He had stepped onto the bus excitedly, but froze when he saw Brian at the kitchen table. He was just sitting there, staring at the sixteen thousand dollar pair of shoes. He had a look on his face that Nick couldn't read. It almost looked like the same look he wore whenever Leighanne wore a low cut top.

But that couldn't be right.

“Rok?” Nick asked nervously, stepping towards him.

Brian looked up at Nick, but he still looked deep in thought. It seemed as though he was somewhere else.

“What're you doing?” Nick asked, sitting down at the table across from him.

Brian continued to stare at the shoes that were resting on the table in between the two men. It seemed like he was in a trance.

Nick raised his eyebrow and waved his hand in front of Brian's face. What the hell was going on with him? Was this some kind of elaborate prank that was being pulled on him as revenge for all the torture he'd given the others over the years?

Nonsense, if it was a prank, then it would have been Howie eyeing the shoes lustfully.

“Yo, dude,” Nick said, snapping his fingers.

Brian shook his head and came back to reality. “Sorry, Nick, did you say something?”

Nick gave his friend a strange look. “Uh, yeah... what were you doing?” he asked, momentarily forgetting that the reason he'd come to get the shoes in the first place was because they'd managed to raise so much money for his cause.

“Oh...” Brian said, shifting his weight uncomfortably. “Just taking a little breather before the show,” he laughed.

Nick wasn't convinced. “On my tour bus?”

Brian avoided Nick's eyes. “Yeah.”

“With my shoes?” Nick pressed, and protectively snatched the shoes off the table. “My shoes that won sixteen thousand dollars on eBay, by the way!” he grinned, but it held less delight than before.

Brian's eyes followed Nick's arms as they held the shoes. He leaned over just a little as one of the laces came untucked.

“Dude!” Nick exclaimed, looking at Brian oddly once again. “Are you the one that won the shoes or something?”

“Uh...” Brian stammered, looking down at his palms. They were sweating. He glanced up at Nick. Nick, who was still wearing that look of confusion and horror. Nick, who had once been his best friend in the entire world. “If I tell you... will you promise not to think I'm crazy?”

“No,” Nick replied, clutching his shoes close to his chest.

Brian sighed and looked back down at the ground. He muttered something inaudible.

“What?” Nick asked.

“I wanted to eat them,” Brian repeated, a little louder.

It was then that Nick burst into a fit of giggles. He laughed so hard he almost doubled over, all the while clutching his precious shoes. “I'm sorry,” he said, taking a few deep breaths. “I thought I heard you say you wanted to eat my shoes.”

“I did,” Brian said, in all seriousness.

Nick looked at his friend and felt all the blood drain from his face. Was Brian actually being serious? “B...but, they're shoes,” Nick stammered.

“I know,” Brian said, gazing over at the canvas objects of his affection. “Shoes... they smell so much like your feet, Nick...”

Nick watched in horror as Brian leaned over and took a whiff of the shoes. He leaned in closer, stuck out his tounge and began to lick one of the scuffed up rubber bottoms. For a couple of seconds, Nick was in too much shock to do or say anything. Then he jerked away from Brian.

Suddenly, it all made sense. His precious Nikes he'd worn for the entirety of the This Is Us tour had gone mysteriously missing. He had been sure that AJ had stolen them, but the more he thought about it, the more little things came back to him. Howie had complained of missing shoes at one point or another as well.

In fact, so had AJ.

And every time the boys had fought over said shoes, Brian had always stayed mysteriously silent.

“I... I need to go...” Nick said, backing away from Brian slowly and exiting the bus. He was breathing heavily. Once he was far enough away, he began to run. His feet hit the pavement hard, but he didn't dare stop. He nearly knocked over their manager, Jenn, as he barrelled backstage.

“Guys,” he said, catching his breath as he dropped his shoes onto Howie and AJ's table and leaned over.

The two of them both looked up at him with confusion.

“What's going on, Nicky?” Howie asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Brian... shoes... licking...” Nick breathed, unable to form a coherent sentence. He could hardly form coherent thoughts.

“What?” AJ asked, giving Howie a glance.

Nick shook his head as he continued to breathe. He tried to collect his thoughts and slouched down into one of the chairs. Once he was breathing steadily again, he eyed his two Backstreet brothers. “Brian wanted to eat my shoes.”

Howie rolled his eyes and went back to eating his dinner. “Yeah, okay Nicky,” he laughed. “Your pranks are getting weak in your old age.”

“No,” Nick said solemnly, annoyed that they weren't taking him seriously. “He said it. He was just sitting there on my bus... looking at the shoes... and then he licked them and said he wanted to eat them...” Nick looked down at his hands. They were shaking.

AJ and Howie exchanged another look. “Are you serous?” AJ asked sceptically.

“Of course I'm serious!” Nick exclaimed, tears starting to form in his eyes. “And think about it... my Nikes went missing. And your shoes did too...”

“And mine,” Howie whispered.

The three men looked at each other. None of them knew what to say or do.

Howie was the first one to speak. “Well, we'll just have to confront him,” he said as Nick and AJ nodded.

“When?” Nick asked shakily.

Howie looked down at the watch on his wrist. “We'll have to do it after the show.”

~~~

Howie, Nick and AJ gathered in front of Brian's hotel room door later that evening as planned. The three of them looked at each other. Nick took a deep breath as he knocked.

As she usually did, Leighanne answered right away. “Hi guys,” she said with a look of slight confusion on her face. “Aren't you supposed to be at the after party?” she asked sweetly.

Nick shook his head. “It was cancelled. Important group business. Can we talk to Brian for a second?”

Leighanne gave Nick a look of annoyance, but nevertheless she opened the door and allowed him, AJ and Howie into the room.

“Can you give us a minute, Leigh?” AJ asked her once they were inside.

“Uh... sure,” she said. “Come on Baylee... let's go find something to eat,” she called out to her son, who was always up for a midnight snack.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Nick, AJ and Howie stood around Brian. He was just sitting on the hotel bed, staring at the television.

“Brian,” Nick said, switching off the screen. “We need to talk.”

Brian avoided eye contact with them. “Sure... about what?”

“I think you know what,” Nick said, sitting down next to him. He, AJ and Howie had agreed that in this intervention he would take the lead. After all, it had been him who Brian had confessed to. Even though he'd eaten all of their shoes.

“I don't,” Brian said, looking around nervously.

“Brian,” Nick said softly. “You tried to eat my charity shoes. And we know you ate my Nikes.”

“And mine,” AJ said, with his hands in his pockets.

“And mine,” Howie added.

Brian shook his head and looked at the ground. “I didn't mean to...” he said quietly. “I'm so sorry you guys...” he breathed.

Nick glanced up at Howie and AJ. He awkwardly placed his hand on Brian's back. “It's okay, man. I mean... it's shoes... but... it's okay. We forgive you.”

“You don't understand,” Brian said, looking up at Nick with tear filled eyes. “Those shoes...” he glanced down at Nick's feet. Nick's feet that were housed in an old pair of Vans. They were somewhat snug and a little scuffed up. Nick had yet to go out shoe shopping since he'd decided to donate his 'Dirty Kicks.' Brian leaned down. “Those... shoes...” he said again, almost hypnotized by them.

“Dude...” Nick said anxiously.

But it was too late. Brian's face was next to his sneakers, his mouth was open and ready to take a bite.

“Whoa!” AJ exclaimed, pulling Brian away from Nick. Brian fought against him, elbowing him, as Nick just sat there in shock, unable to believe what he was witnessing.

Howie grabbed hold of Brian's arms. “Brian!” he shouted. “Stop!”

“Let me go!” Brian shouted, trying to break free. He kicked and frantically moved from side to side as Howie and AJ restrained him. “I need them!” he screamed, not taking his eyes off Nick's feet. “I need them! They look so delicious!”

“Nick, go!” AJ shouted, as Nick just sat there, his face white. “Get out of here!”

Nick just nodded. He felt like he was going to throw up. He exited the room slowly looked back at Brian.

Brian didn't look at him at all. His eyes were still fixated on his feet.

That was the last time Nick had seen Brian.

As he walked down the hall to his friend's room, he couldn't help but think about the past year leading up to that point. The way their tour had been cancelled so quickly. The story they had invented to keep Brian's mental illness out of the papers. The disdain in AJ's voice when he had called and told him that Leighanne had filed for divorce.

Nick shook his head as he stood outside Brian's door. The feeling in his stomach was eerily similar to the last time he had done so.

“You'll have to remove those before you go in,” the nurse said, looking up at Nick, and then down at his feet.

“Oh,” Nick said, slipping his sneakers off. “Of course.” He handed the shoes to her, and she walked off.

Nick took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Silence.

Then, “Hello?”

“Bri?” Nick said quietly, slowly opening the door.

He glanced around the clean white room. There wasn't much in it. A bed, a dresser, a chair, a couple of books.

And his best friend in the entire world.

Nick didn't know what to say, suddenly his mouth felt dry.

“Hey buddy,” he said, sitting down on the chair and looking over at Brian, who was sitting cross legged on the bed.

“Nick,” Brian said, looking over at him. “Thanks for coming to visit me. It's been such a long time since I've seen anyone.”

Nick nodded, swallowing so he wouldn't cry. “I know. They told us you needed time away from the world. That you couldn't see anyone and you needed to recover.”

Brian looked down at the floor. “I know... I missed you guys so much. I can't wait to get out of here.”

“You will,” Nick said with assurance. “I know you will. You're going to get better, and we're going to go back on tour. Everything's going to be fine.”

Brian didn't seem convinced. “I guess so.”

“You will,” Nick repeated.

“I'm so sorry Nick,” Brian said, his voice shaking. “I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry the tour had to be cancelled, and I'm so sorry that the group had to go on hiatus again. And Leigh...” he couldn't contain his tears any longer.

Nick moved to sit beside Brian on the bed. He rubbed his friend's back, not even caring about how awkward he usually felt in situations such as these. “Don't even worry about her, man. Just worry about you. Me and the rest of the guys are going to be here for you. Hell, we are here for you. And when you get out of this place, we'll be ready and waiting to record again and go back on the road.”

Brian nodded and pulled Nick in for a hug. “Thank you, Nick. I was just under so much stress, you know? Something snapped in my brain... I didn't know who I was or what I was doing. I dealt with it... in such a poor way.”

“You ate our shoes, Brian...” Nick deadpanned, unable to stop himself.

“Yeah, I did. And I'm so sorry.”

“It's okay,” Nick soothed. “It's really okay. We've all been there... I mean, not shoe eating, but AJ and I, we've had our issues too. Everyone deals with fame differently. We understand.”

“Thank you, Nick,” Brian said again, pulling him in for another hug.

Nick held him tight as he drew in a deep breath. He felt better now than he had in a long time.

He knew now that Brian was going to be okay.