Prologue


"Congratulations Class of '98!"


I stood up with the other graduates, tossing my red cap in the air and breathing a sigh of relief. High School was officially over, I was out of there for good. I didn't have to deal with anyone anymore, I could go wherever I wanted and start fresh.....I could make all new friends. Life felt great.

I wasn't the best in my class, nor was I popular or the most athletic. I was average. I had gotten an art scholarship to the University of South Florida in Tampa.....not far from home, but I wanted to get away from everything. A lot of my friends were going to the University of Central Florida or Florida State, so I didn't have to worry about running into them.

It was time for a change.



Remember when you were a kid and times were tough, people would say that God was testing you? I felt like my whole life up to that point has been just one big test. I've done a lot on my own....with nobody's help. I basically raised myself, with the exception of my uncle Kevin. He took me in after they passed away.....after I lost my family that night. Since then I put that behind me. I am ready to start my new life in Tampa.

Kevin's not my real uncle....he's a friend of the family. He's the only one I've gotten support from for my artwork. My dream is to be an animator.....I've always wanted to work at Disney since I was a kid watching the cartoons. I know almost everything about the animation process, I've watched every single movie since I was a baby.

Not even gonna lie, my first word wasn't momma or daddy. It was Mickey. Since my parents weren't around, I would sit and watch the Disney channel all day long, I was mesmerized by it. I was told that if someone turned it off, I'd throw a fit. I needed my fix.

So here I am, packing up my things for college.....staring at a picture of me with Mickey at Disney World (might I add that was the highlight of my life).


"You okay, kiddo?"


Kevin is a sneaky bastard. Didn't even realize he'd been standing there.

"Hey. Yeah, I'm fine. Just packing."

"It's finally here, isn't it? You're really leaving....aren't you?" Kevin said, patting my back as I put the photo in the box and smiled at him.

"Yep. I start classes in about a week. I just gotta get moved in by the weekend. I will have a roommate and everything."

"I'm real proud of you, Nick. You've come a long way since that kid in the picture." he said. I blushed a little, he really knows how to embarrass me.

"I wonder if they're proud of me too." I said without thinking. I rarely mentioned them, but I was really thinking about my parents.....how my mom smelled like brown sugar and my dad played catch until it was dark.

"I think they are. Their son is going to college to be a great artist." Kevin said with the worst french accent I've ever heard. I lapsed into a fit of giggles and he ruffled my hair.

"For real, Nick. Your parents would be proud of you for that art scholarship. Hell, I'm proud of you. You're gonna do great, kiddo." he said.

"That means a lot to me. You've been like a dad to me but better."

"You better call me or write while you're at school." Kevin said, sitting on my bed and watching me pack. You'd think he'd help me knowing he has to help me drive these boxes down to school.

"I will send you a University of South Florida toilet seat." I said in a serious tone, making him laugh.

I was really gonna miss it here. But don't tell Kevin.

Chapter 1


"We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney



I've always gone by that quote when I'm in doubt. The night before I left for college I couldn't sleep. I was awake all night with anticipation so I watched Aladdin. This is one of my favorite Disney movies, like EVER. I aced my art class final by studying while listening to "Arabian Nights".

I always felt a lot like Aladdin. On my own with no family.....free to do what I wanted but feeling like I wasn't good enough to actually GET what I wanted.

Kevin always scolded me for feeling that way. He always taught me to keep upbeat, look at the silver lining of things.....and it's worked for me since they passed away.

Did I mention how cool it would be to have a pet monkey, though?


"Today's the big day, isn't it?"

Why must he interrupt me when I'm eating my Fruity Pebbles? He's not gonna get all philosophical on me now is he? I haven't even had time to eat before the cereal gets soggy! You'd think he would learn by now. Nothing is worse than soggy cereal.

"Nick?"

Oh shit, he's still talking...isn't he?

"Yeah?" I said, not realizing milk was dripping down my chin. Way to keep it classy, Carter.

"I can't believe I'm driving you to college." he continued, motioning at my chin and handing me a napkin. Jeez. I'm 19, not 5. Well....on the outside.

"Well, I had to grow up sometime." I told him matter-of-factly.

"That's not what I meant. Your parents wanted you to have this." Kevin replied, handing me a package wrapped in Mickey Mouse paper. It was a photo of the three of us at Disney World when I was just five, me on my dad's shoulders in front of Cinderella Castle.

"Wow. I haven't seen this before."

"Your dad said give it to you when I felt you were ready. This is why you've had a mild obsession for anything Disney.....your parents used to take you there a lot."

I held the picture the whole way to the college. We drove from Orlando to Tampa without blinking an eye, away from the happiest place on Earth and into a place where I didn't know anyone.


"Is this your dorm?" Kevin asked when we reached the campus.

"Yeah, I think so. My room should be....um...here." I said, opening the door. There was a guy about my age with sandy brown hair sitting on the bed by the wall....hanging up a picture of a goat.

A goat? Really?

"Brian? Is that you?" Kevin laughed, and the guy smiled.

"Hey, there cuz. Long time no see." Brian replied. I lugged some boxes in and set them down on the floor, pulling at my Mickey t-shirt.

"Well, at least I will have you to look after him. Nick, meet my cousin Brian from Kentucky."

To be honest, I wasn't all that interested in him, he looked like he walked out of an episode of Hee-Haw. He had on jeans and a plaid shirt, and a thick country accent. I shook his hand but I moved to start unpacking.

"Nick, are you going to be okay or do you want me to stay for a bit?"

"Huh?"

See how well I pay attention?

"I'm taking off, behave yourself." he said with a laugh. I went over and hugged him, my eyes tearing up. I'd never been away from him for more than a day, so this would be hard for me. We embraced for a bit and then just like that....he was gone.

"So you're Nick. Kevin's told me about you before. You're Bob's son, right?" Brian drawled. I blinked at him, not sure how to take this.

"Yeah....Nick Carter. So....um...don't take this the wrong way, but what's with the goat?" I asked awkwardly.

He beamed with pride and took something from a box on his bed.

"This is Bella....my prize winning goat. I raised her from a baby. First place in the county fair. I'm studying agriculture, I'm gonna run the farm with my dad when I'm done with school." he said happily. He had some blue ribbons in the box as well.

"Oh...that's cool, I guess." I said, trying my hardest not to laugh. He talked about that goat for another hour, telling me how they milk the goats and make cheese out of it...I was kinda disgusted. Someone who loves a goat that much just isn't natural.

"So what are you gonna be studying?" he asked suddenly. I was almost finished unpacking. I hung up some pictures and placed the picture of me and my parents on the night stand next to my bed, smiling at it. This place didn't feel like home yet, but I was sure it would soon.

"I want to get into animation so I am taking a lot of art and some computer classes." I replied, flopping down on the bed. He looked at me and raised his eyebrow.....geez I haven't been here even a day and I'm being judged.

"I guess that's why you have those drawings on the wall, huh?"

Brilliant observation. I rolled my eyes as my stomach growled.

"Where do we get food around here?"



Brian ended up being pretty useful after all, he showed me an awesome pizza place after I got myself registered.

"So what do you do for fun back home in the sticks?" I asked, mocking his accent without thinking.

"We have too much work to do to have fun." he said blankly.

"Come on, man. You have to have fun sometime. What do you do when you're not working?"


"PIKA, PIKA!"

We turned to see a group of guys cheering on what looked to be an eating contest, they were all wearing red shirts with yellow lettering.

"We race lawnmowers and-"

I ignored him, watching them.

"Who are they?" I asked, taking a gulp of Coke.

"They're in a frat....Phi Kappa Alpha....or Pikas. You don't want to be mixed up with them. They're known for partying and causing trouble on campus." Brian commented. I nodded, this was my first semester and I didn't need to get involved with anything like that.

However, part of me was really curious. How could having a little fun be so bad?

Chapter 2


"All it takes is Faith and Trust..." - Peter Pan



My first week of classes went pretty well. I got hit on by one of the older girls, but she just didn't interest me. The professor thought I had potential and this made me a lot less nervous. Of course, I attributed that to my lucky Goofy pencil topper, I carried it with me everywhere.

Something I've always wondered, If Goofy is a dog and Pluto is also a dog.....why can Goofy speak and Pluto can't? Makes no damn sense.

When I got back to the dorm farm boy wasn't around, so I settled into my bed and took out my DVD player. Tonight's movie was Toy Story. Come to think of it....Brian reminded me a lot of Woody....I guess I would be Buzz?


Brian came moseying in halfway through the movie, carrying some books and looking tired.

"Lord have mercy, what a day." he said, falling into his bed and sighing. I ignored him, fully engrossed as I was sketching.

"Yep."

"You're not listening to me, are you?" Brian asked, staring at me.

"Not really."


I continued to ignore him as I worked on some sketches for class, and after a while he got the hint. His phone rang and I tried not to listen in.

"Yeah, Ma. I'm doing ok. Classes are going good but it is just my first week back. My roommate? No, he's not living with me anymore. I got a new one, he's different."

That was when my ears perked up. Did he forget I was sitting here? What the hell did he mean by different?


"He's interesting.....what? Yeah...I guess." Brian said as I rolled my eyes. I shut off the movie and picked up my sketch pad, heading out of the room. I didn't know why but I was highly annoyed by Brian being on the phone with his mother. I wished mine was still around, when I closed my eyes I could smell the cookies she baked for my 5th birthday...


"Mama...."


I could hear myself calling her, but she faded away and all I could smell was the lead from the pencil I was using. I felt my eyes water. There was no way I'd let him see me cry.


"I miss you too." Brian said.

I had to get out of there. I snatched up my sketch pad and took off, slamming the door behind me as I stormed off. I hate when I get like this. I am always upbeat but sometimes it hits me like this, I could feel the tears come already. I plopped down on the ground in the courtyard and just let it all out.


"Hey, kid. You okay?" someone asked me as I sat leaning against a tree, wiping my eyes. I hated thinking of them, especially when things have been going so well.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." I smiled weakly at the guy. I finally stood up, my back was stiff....having no idea how long I'd been sitting for. He was really short....and wearing one of those red shirts that the Pikas had. He picked up my fallen sketch pad and studied it, nodding.

"Wow, these are really good. What are you studying?" he asked me with a wink. Or was it an eye twitch? Anyways, he kept complimenting me....which I was used to hearing from my professor, but not strangers.

"I'm trying to get into animation, those are some sketches I did for class. The name is Nick, by the way." I smiled at him, taking it back.

"That's pretty cool. I'm Howie. You sure you're alright? You looked pretty upset there." he asked. I took another breath to calm myself down.

"I just got something in my eye." I said, blushing a little. Pshh, like I need to act like a pussy in front of a frat brother....especially a frat I kinda had intentions of joining.

"It's ok, kid. You don't have to tell me. Did you just start here, or...."

"Howie! What you doing, bro? Jay's been looking for you." someone called.

"Guess you have to go, huh?" I laughed.

"Yeah. Why don't you come to one of our parties sometime? It is a great way to meet new people. I'm sure you don't know anyone yet, being new." Howie smiled. I nodded, he was right, I didn't know anyone but Brian, who bored me to death.

"Sure."

"Well this....is our address, we're having a party next Friday. You could bring your roommate if you like." he winked before running off to meet up with his friend. I stared after him....it couldn't hurt to go at least.





"Where were you?" Brian asked once I got back to the room. I slammed the door behind me and sat down on the bed, still ticked at him a little bit.

"Why do you care? Because Kevin asked you to look after me? I don't need anyone to do that, I've taken care of myself just fine." I hissed.

"Come on, you really think that? I just want to get along because we are roommates. Now what the heck did I do to get you all riled up?"

I couldn't handle his accent anymore, I fell backwards on my bed laughing, lapsing into a fit of giggles and holding my stomach.

"What did I do?" he asked, looking puzzled.

"Say 'there's a snake in my boot'. Do it." I begged.

"Why?"

"Pleeeeeeeeaseeeeee." I begged. He looked so confused and then smiled.

"There's a snake in my boot." he drawled. I swear to fucking god he is Woody. I busted out laughing again and he tossed his pillow at me, grinning.

"It's good to see you smiling again." he said.

"Sorry I snapped at you, parents are a touchy subject with me."

"Next time my mom calls I will take it outside if it upsets you." Brian said as I tossed his pillow back.

"You don't have to do that....sometimes it just hits me. I miss them.....I'd give anything to get them back." I replied.

"I know. They were good people." he said.

"They really were, they didn't deserve what happened. To be honest, I don't want to talk about them right now." I told him as I sighed. He nodded and I put Toy Story back on, he actually pulled up a chair and sat beside me.

Maybe he wasn't so bad.

Chapter 3


"Just stay loose, have a little fun, and you'll be fine." - Toy Story



I woke up to a phone ringing thursday morning, my cell phone was right next to my bed, so I answered it.


"Hey, college boy. How is it going?"


I was so happy to hear Kevin's voice I jumped up, grinning. We talked for a long time, and it was as if I'd never left home. I told him about classes and rooming with Brian.

"Are you two getting along okay?" he asked me. It then occurred to me they were cousins.....


"Kevin, how come I've never met Brian before if he's your cousin? I've known you basically my whole life." I said, yawning. My stomach growled and I decided breakfast could wait.

"I wanted him to keep an eye on you and the admissions director is a good friend of mine, so he pulled some strings. You don't think I'd leave you completely alone, do you? Plus Brian's older, he can help you find your way around and keep you company. I figured the two of you would get along." he admitted. I felt kinda bad for not giving Brian a chance, he was kind of a dork....but I knew Kevin meant well.

"Thanks, Kev. But how come I haven't met him before this?"

"He's from Kentucky, remember? Our families don't get along well so we haven't seen each other in a long time." he said.

Quite frankly, I didn't accept that. I got off the phone, still wondering how Brian knew my parents.


I got dressed and went to classes before coming back to the dorm to find Brian laying in bed, looking bored.

"What's up?"


"I got invited to a frat party tomorrow. You interested? I mean, they don't race lawnmowers or anything, but..."


"You got invited to the Pika's party? How did you manage that?" Brian asked, sitting up.


"I got skills."


Asking around campus, I found out it was like THE spot to party at U of SF. So I felt like it was my duty to at least show up. Howie personally invited me, it had to count for something.

"I guess. You want to come with?" I asked. He made a face at first like he wasn't sure.

"You sure I won't be cramping your style, city boy?" he joked in that accent of his.

"Nah. I think you need to get out more."

"I suppose. You're not gonna wear that, are you? This is a college party....a frat party. Mickey isn't invited."

I looked down at my Mickey shirt, suddenly feeling very self conscious. I pulled it off and put on a black tank top before we left for the party.



"This must be the place." Brian said, as we exchanged looks. There was garbage scattered all over the yard, beer cans on the front steps. It smelled heavily of alcohol, making my stomach turn. Music blared from the speakers, sounding like Green Day or Third Eye Blind. We were greeted by cigarette smoke as the door opened, the place was packed with people. I'd never been to a real party like this before....Kevin would have flipped out if he knew. A table was set up with snacks and various alcoholic drinks, ranging from beer to mixed drinks.


"Hey, Nick....isn't it?" Howie called from the bar. He looked like he hadn't been drinking long, holding a plastic red cup.

"Yep. This is my roommate, Brian. Nice place you got here." I said. I was feeling nauseous from the smoke. As Howie and I talked we heard people chanting in the backyard.

"What's going on out there?" Brian asked apprehensively. I could tell he'd never been to a party before either, he didn't approve of the half naked girls walking around. I wasn't complaining.

"They're playing beer pong. I think AJ is winning again." Howie laughed. He handed us both beers and led us to the backyard before Brian could tell him I was underage.

"Nick..."

"Shut up. I'm trying to fit in....I don't have to actually drink it, just look like I am. The cup isn't even full." I protested. To tell the truth, I had drank before at home on my birthday, Kevin said it was all right as long as he was there with me.

Of course in my opinion, I could handle it.

Brian held his cup and smiled nervously at Howie when he was facing us, pretending to take a sip like I did.



"PIKA, PIKA, PIKA!"

They were all chanting as the guy in the center of the group chugged a beer, he didn't look that much older than Brian.

"I don't have a good feeling about this." he muttered. I pretended to take another sip and walked over to the table, watching them play. It didn't look like a hard game, all you had to do was toss the ping pong ball into the cup across the table. When the ball landed in the other person's drink, you had to drink it.

God, I hope they don't ask me to play, that AJ guy looked like he was gonna hurl everywhere.

"AJ, this is the kid I told you about." Howie said, bringing me over. I almost spilled the beer everywhere but I managed to catch it in time.

"Whoa, don't spill it. That's booze abuse." Howie chuckled.

"Oh, which one is he? The one who can belch the alphabet?" AJ asked. He stood up and shook my hand, I smiled at him.

"No, he draws."

"Yeah, whatever. Want to play a round, kid?" he giggled, holding out the ping pong ball for me. I looked at Brian who was mouthing NO WAY at me and scowling.

"Sure." I said. I took the ball and chucked it.....it went in on the first try, landing in the cup. Everybody around me started cheering and Brian shook his head. AJ drank the cup in one go and then tossed his ball, it landed in my cup on the first shot.



"Now what?" I asked, staring at the cup. AJ passed it to me and they all looked like I was going to do a trick....I mean seriously....why do all these college guys like staring so much?

"Drink it, stupid." AJ said, followed by a large belch. It was so nasty I wanted to throw up.

I took the cup and held it to my lips, this time I couldn't fake anything. I had to drink it....and it tasted HORRIBLE. Oh my god. If I ever drank piss, this is what it would taste like. Jesus, what was I thinking?

"Nick, we should get out of here." Brian said, but someone pushed him away from me and I finished the beer, throwing the cup down for effect and wiping my face. I felt queasy already....but they gave me the ball again.


Needless to say, I ended up beating AJ at beer pong....and wow can someone make the room stop spinning please? I don't like this ride anymore, mom.

"Wow, you're a natural. I like you, kid." AJ said, punching my arm. It didn't even hurt. They passed me beer after beer and I drank like there was gonna be a shortage and this was the only beer left.


I felt like I was on top of the world, the hit of the party. I didn't care I was drinking underage, it was nice to make friends. I felt welcome. It was then that I realized.....where was Brian?

"Brian? You mean that guy you came with? He left a while ago. Now how do you feel about tequila?"

Guess I didn't realize I was speaking out loud.

"I don't know, but give me some." I said. To hell with moderation.



Next thing I knew I was being kicked. I also noticed I was laying in something wet.....I opened my eyes and realized I was in the middle of somebody's lawn. I had no idea where I was at all.

"Nick, get up. People are staring."


I realized Brian was talking but when I looked at him he was blurry.

"Woody?" I mumbled. Everything was spinning again. I felt myself being lifted up and I could swear my pants were missing.

"Kevin's gonna flip a shit."

"Don't tell him, sheriff." I begged.

"Okay, I won't. Let's get you back to the dorm before we are caught." Brian said, almost carrying me on his back. I wondered how he was able to do this when I was like two feet taller than him.

"I don't feel so good."

"Well, I told you not to drink, Nick." Brian snapped in a fatherly sort of way. I scowled at the blurriness....I think. I can't tell which way is up or down. Oh god. I'm gonna....


"Jesus Christ."

Was that his shoes? Please tell me I didn't hurl on his shoes. Seriously, where are my pants?

Somehow we got back to the room and he shoved me into the shower.

"I don't want to take a bath, mom."

"Nick, please. We gotta get the puke smell out of here. Now take off your clothes."

"Huh?"

"Strip. Now." he barked. I tossed my shirt at him and went for my boxers.

"Nuh uh. Little guy stays inside." the blur said. I giggled.

"He's not little."


Brian just sighed and shoved me under the water before I passed out again.

I love college.

Chapter 4


"You know the thing about good food? It brings people together from all walks of life." - The Princess And The Frog



I felt like a truck had hit me.


Make that ten trucks. Carrying bricks.



"You alive over there, champ?"

I ignored him.


I opened my eyes but my brain seemed to crap out on me. What the hell had happened? I remembered playing beer pong with....with....what was his name? Oh. AJ and Howie. It seemed like a dream. The room started spinning again, so I laid back down. I really don't like this ride anymore. I felt like I was on the teacup ride at Disney World and it wasn't stopping.

"Nick?"

Oh, I'm in our dorm. So it wasn't a dream....and now I have a killer headache. I also feel like I'm gonna throw up.

"Huh?" I muttered, keeping my eyes shut as Brian attempted to talk to me.
"I hope you're satisfied with yourself." he continued. I just kept my eyes closed, trying to make the migrane go away. It felt like a million Brians were screaming at me , all at the same time with giant megaphones. He shook my shoulder gently and I squinted at him, my brain screaming again.

"Fuck off," I mumbled, hugging my pillow. I had never had a hangover before.....I had never even been drunk once in my life. Kevin let me drink at home, but it was one beer and no more. I didn't know how to hold my liquor, I felt so stupid.

"Just stay in bed, take it easy."


Brian seemed to leave me alone for a while. It was Saturday and I had no classes, so I pretty much stayed in bed all day. He stayed in the room with me, checking me every so often.

There was an amazing smell in the room, a smell that seemed to waft straight down from heaven. A culmination of tomato sauce, garlic and hot, gooey cheese....

My stomach was going wild.

"Nick, you hungry? I ordered some pizza if you want any." Brian said, and I opened my eyes. I could smell the most delicious looking pizza ever created, a pizza to end all pizzas. How did he know? I can't resist pizza, because well....for one I'm in college, and that's all we've been eating lately...two, I just plain love it. So naturally I accepted it. I never turn down food.

"Thanks for keeping me company, I'm sorry I was a brat earlier." I told him, grabbing for the cheesiest slice in the box. I smiled at it for a minute, thinking.

"It's all right, you weren't feeling well. So what's that grin for?" Brian asked, shoving half of his slice in his mouth.

"Do you remember the Ninja Turtles?" I replied. When I wasn't watching Disney, I was also really into the Ninja Turtles....I wanted to be Raphael or Michelangelo when I was a kid.

"Yeah I do. Never got into that though."


Why the hell am I friends with this guy?


"They were always eating this stuff, when I was little, I thought if I ate enough pizza I'd turn green and kick people's asses." I laughed, biting into my pizza.


"Are you serious?"

"Yes." I said, belching. He made a face but I ignored him.

"Mr. Disney World wanted to be a Ninja Turtle? I figured you'd want to be Goofy or something." Brian drawled with a small chuckle.

"Goofy? Nah. I was Peter Pan a few times for Halloween. Captain Hook once." I took the cheese off and ate that first before eating the rest of it. The headache was almost completely gone now, and my stomach was satisfied. Each of us ate half a pizza.

"Thanks for staying with me today and taking care of me." I said finally after we were quiet for a while.

"That's what friends are for. I promised Kevin I'd look after you." he replied, picking up the box and tossing it in the garbage can by the door.

"He never told me how I've never met you before. You are really cousins, right?" I asked. His eyes wandered for a bit and he sighed.

"Yes, we are. I knew your parents but not as well as Kevin....I grew up in Kentucky my whole life. Kevin and your dad went to college together, that's all I know." he told me.

"They did? I never knew how they even met. I just knew he was my dad's best friend and my godfather. That's how I ended up with him when....when they...you know." I said, laying back against my pillow, feeling a bit dizzy all of a sudden. My head was swimming at that point, my stomach flipping.

"You don't look so good." Brian said, looking at me with concern.

"I'm okay." I lied, holding up a hand in front of him.

"Nick, it is okay to talk about them. Holding everything inside isn't good for you."

I never answered him, I rolled over and faced the wall, holding my stomach as I felt the tears come.



The next few weeks were insane. I was thrust into more graphic design and art....laden down most of the day with heavy textbooks and my sketch pads. I was heading back to my dorm when someone ran right into me, nearly knocking me over.

"Oh, shit. Sorry kid, I didn't see you."

I looked up and saw Howie. I liked him but I felt embarrassed from the party.

"Hey, Nick." he said with a wink. Why is he always winking at me?

"Howie." I said softly, not catching his eye.

"So what did you think of the brothers?" he asked. Quite frankly, I liked the house. I also liked the guys....it was the partying I wasn't really into. I'm all about having fun, but hearing all I've heard about the Pikas....maybe Brian was right.

"They were cool." I said finally.

"AJ really likes you. He was thinking you should try rushing our frat, would you be interested?" he asked. I felt my books slipping and I adjusted them, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"Rushing?"

"We are looking for new members. They liked Brian too, maybe he could get in. You should come by, we are having a mixer on Saturday if you are up to it." he explained. I nodded but didn't give him an answer. I didn't think Brian would be so into this idea, but there was no harm in me trying on my own right?

I was at college and wanted to make the most of my experience here, after all we only live once.

Chapter 5


"Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories" - Genie (Return Of Jafar)



"Nick you can't be serious. The Pikas are bad news. Why the hell do you want to pledge their frat?" Brian asked me when I brought it up.

"Please, Brian. Just do it with me....so I have some company. I don't know what I'm doing and it would be fun." I said with a pout. If there is one thing I know how to do, it is pout. I'm known for it back home.....it works on Kevin all the time. Just jut out your lip and make the big sad eyes....add in a little lip quiver....gets you whatever you want.


"Not the pout." he sighed.

Works every time.

So here we are, sitting in a class where we have to learn the history of the frat chapter. I'm bored out of my mind but trying to remember as much as I can before the test. Howie said we are all given a test at the end of the week.

"I don't know if I can do this." Brian said as we walked out of the classroom, our heads swimming.


"Toss it here, Jake!"


There were two kids about my age playing catch nearby....I smiled but I guess I didn't realize I was tearing up again. I flashed back to a long time ago with my father, playing catch the night before the accident.

"What's wrong, Nick?" Brian asked. He's always so nosy. I bet that runs in his family because Kevin is the same way.

"Me and my dad used to do that." I said, closing my eyes and starting to remember. I'd blocked it out for so long and it was coming back.

"That's nice."

I was kind of filled with rage almost instantly, he was just so.....so causal whenever I brought them up.

"At least you HAVE both of them, Brian. I don't have anyone. Just Kevin." I snapped, storming away. Brian ran after me this time and I pushed him away when he tried to hug me.

"Nick....Nick, will you listen for Christ's sake? I know how you feel." he said, breathing heavily as our feet went in sync with one another.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I don't have a dad either."

"I thought you said your dad owned the farm back home?" I asked.

"He is my step father." Brian said, looking at the ground.

I suddenly felt like the world's biggest asshole. Here I was sulking and being a prick but Brian.....my roommate Brian didn't have a dad.

"Wow, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I never met him. I don't know if he's even alive or not....my mom just kind of raised me." he told me as we reached our dorm. I unlocked it and we sat down, talking. I found out Brian's dad wasn't even around for him being born. How selfish was I?

I really felt like an asshole.

"Dude, I am so sorry." I said again, although he told me not to worry about it. He was being really calm, I wished I could be that strong.

"It's fine. I'm not upset or angry. Your dad was taken from you. I never knew who mine was. I never got to play catch or go fishing, I was raised by my mom and my step dad that she married. I never knew my real father. My step dad owns the farm." Brian explained.

"Your step dad never played catch?" I wondered.

"No. We were too busy working to have fun like that. I had a lot of chores from when I got home from school until dark, plus early in the morning until I went to school. He never did much with me but milk the cows. I wish I'd had a real dad like you did."

I really felt like hiding under my bed. We both took a nap and when I woke up, I remembered I had brought my baseball mitt from home. I waited for him to wake up first, he seemed a bit down after our talk earlier.

"Hey, Brian? Want to play for a bit?" I asked. His face really lit up, it made me so happy. We went outside and tossed the ball around for a while, until we got hungry.

"Thanks, Nick." he said, smiling again as we ate our pizza.

"Don't mention it. You play pretty good for a farm boy."

"Okay, okay. I should have told you about my step dad, I know that's confusing. I never considered him to be my real father, just the guy my mom married. We don't get along that great unless we are working together." he said, taking a drink from his soda.

"I understand. I don't know why....I never thought about the accident much until I came here. I just sort of...blocked it out." I confessed.

"Maybe part of you wants to remember something."


"Thought I'd find you two here."

I looked up and saw Howie standing in front of us. I offered him a seat but he declined.

"What's up?" Brian asked.

"I was told to give both of you this, and to meet at the house tomorrow night at 6. Don't be late, AJ hates when things don't run smoothly." Howie said before running off. I opened the envelope and a folded up piece of paper fell out, along with a note.

"What is it?"

I looked at it, it looked like we had to go on a scavenger hunt of some kind. I raised my eyebrow at it.

"We are going on a scavenger hunt tomorrow night after classes. It says we are on a team by ourselves, not to tell anyone about the hunt or have help of any kind other than your own teammate." I read as we got back to the dorm again.

"Does it say what we need to find?" Brian asked, taking it from me. A map of the campus had been included. We already knew where the frat house was but the map would come in handy tomorrow.

"Nope. Just says not to tell anyone and we have to get all the items on the list." I said.

College was a lot of work, but I wanted so badly to get in this frat....even though Brian didn't approve. I didn't care. I guess I just wanted to finally belong somewhere and be a part of something. I'd never been in any kind of group or club before. This was big.

Brian and I went to sleep that night, hoping good things would come tomorrow.

Chapter 6


"We can do whatever we want to do with teamwork." - Phineas and Ferb



We went to the frat house at 6, well make that 5:45. Brian insisted on being early, but nobody would let us in until 6. There were about 8 of us, 4 groups of two guys. I recognized one from computer class but there was nobody else I knew.

"It's not to early to back out of this, you know." Brian whispered as we stood waiting for the frat brothers to come in the room.

"We have to at least try." I whispered back. A door opened and they all filed in, it was kind of like a court room and they sat in a row of chairs. AJ came in last, this was the first time I'd seen him since the party.

"I have called you all here for this to see which of you can think quickly under pressure. Howie will be giving each of you an envelope. You are not allowed to open it here or on Pika property....you must wait until you are not around any of those in competition with you. Once you open those envelopes, you will find a list of items. These items are essential for you to move onto the test portion of pledging. You must retrieve all of the items or you will be disqualified." AJ said.

He paused for a moment while Howie gave us the envelopes. I tucked it inside my shorts pocket.

"You have 3 hours to get said items and meet back here. Good luck ladies." he added. Me and Brian walked to our pizza place before opening the envelope and saw ten items on the list.

"Well? What kind of stuff do we have to get?" Brian whispered.

I laughed at the list.

"Well, first on the agenda is a pair of ladies underwear. Where are we gonna find those?" I smiled. We left the parlor and walked quickly, Brian had a plan already.

"I sure as hell am not sneaking in a sorority for a panty raid. So we will check the laundry." he said.

God damn it why didn't I think of that?


I felt like Mission Impossible as we headed towards the laundromat. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun......dadada...

"Nick, shhh."

"Sorry."

We snuck around the corner where the laundromat was and heard a girl singing in there. Something about having the right stuff. Either way, it was a pretty crappy song. She got a phone call and walked away from her basket.

"I'm going in." I said, walking up to the laundry basket and looking through it. I held up a T-shirt that said NKOTB on it and made a face.

"Brian....what is a New Kid On The Block?" I asked, scowling at it. Whoever these guys were, I didn't care for it one bit.

"Oh. The New Kids On The Block. Some cheesy boyband from the 80s. My mom likes them. Made me listen a few times." Brian said.

"I would not be caught dead in some stupid boyband." I said. I then thought about it, but I could never be a musician. I'd tried to be in a garage band during my high school days, but I grew bored of it quickly. Kevin always said we made too much of a racket and took away my drums.

I never touched an instrument again.

"Ditto. Although I did sing some of their songs to get dates in high school." Brian admitted, blushing as I rolled my eyes. I put the shirt back and picked up the largest pair of underwear I have ever seen. I mean, geez. They were twice the size of my own ass.

"Holy crap. Is that a tent?" Brian whispered as I cracked up. We both exchanged looks and I shook my head.

"No way, bro. Next basket."

I moved to another basket I saw on the counter, reached in and pulled out a pink, lacy thong. I pocketed it as the NKOTB fan walked back in, still singing about the right stuff. She gave me a funny look and I smiled at her, she blushed.

"Come on, Romeo." Brian teased, pulling my arm.


I followed him until we could safely pull out the list again.

"Okay, well we got the underwear. Now what?" I asked, twirling the panties around my index finger.

"Put that away! I'm checking." Brian said. Next thing on the list was a Budweiser. Now neither of us were 21. How was this going to work?

"Dude. We could just get an empty can or bottle. It doesn't say it has to be a full one." I said suddenly. Man I impress myself sometimes. Brian nodded and we went looking around campus a bit, but we found an empty beer can. Time was ticking, we had an hour or so to go.

"Next is black nail polish."

"What the hell does AJ want this for? Is he going to a goth convention?" Brian asked. I shrugged. As the list went on the items got weirder. We had to get nail polish, condoms, lotion and toilet paper....and various other things.

Once we retrieved them, we headed back to the frat house. AJ was shaking his head at us, we were the last ones there.

"You two went over the time limit." he said, tapping his hand on the counter in front of him. I then noticed his nails were painted black. No wonder he needed the nail polish. Part of me wondered if he was secretly bisexual. I mean....look at him, he's wearing eyeliner.

AJ looked really disappointed in us and I looked down at my feet, thinking we were gonna get kicked out.

"I'm sorry. We lost track of time." I apologized. I was surprised when a grin appeared on his face. He motioned for Howie to come over and whispered something in his ear.

"AJ says he's willing to forgive you if you do one more thing." Howie replied, smirking.

"What is it?" Brian asked. He and Howie kept exchanging looks as if they were angry with one another, I'd never noticed it before.

"You will find out soon enough, for now you're dismissed. AJ expects you both at class tomorrow morning." Howie replied. We both left feeling quite confused and wondering what AJ could be planning. It was just before Halloween and we were getting hit with more and more homework. Brian and I found ourselves studying a lot, spending hours in the dorm hitting the books.

Kevin called me once in a while but I was always busy. College was starting to settle in and I was finally feeling at home there. We would wake up early to go to the frat classes and then our regular classes.


I really wondered if Brian knew what he was talking about with the Pikas, because it seemed like he knew Howie. Part of me wondered if he was his old roommate, but I guess that is a question for another day.

Why must things be so damn complicated?

Chapter 7


"When I'm with you, I don't feel so alone." - Hercules


After the scavenger hunt, I went for a few days without hearing from the Pikas except at the classes. We had to memorize a lot of dates and people that had to do with the frat, it was hard but Brian and I quizzed each other to make sure we knew the information. He still was hesitant about pledging and tried to talk me out of it quite a few times.

"Brian, why are you so against that frat? They're not bad guys." I said as we watched tonight's movie. We were watching Twister. It wasn't a Disney movie but Brian said we needed a break from Disney and plus, I had a unrequited crush on Helen Hunt.

"Ok, so I have another confession." Brian told me as the cow went flying across the screen. We were eating Chinese tonight and I set down my container of white rice.

"All right..." I replied.

"Howie and I don't really get along. We used to be roommates, he lived here before you came along."


This I was not surprised by. I kind of figured that out already, just by how they interacted during classes. It was super awkward.

"That's disgusting, Nick."

I didn't realize I was slurping my wonton soup and it dribbled down my face, making a wet spot on my favorite Mickey shirt. I grabbed a napkin and started blotting.

"Sorry. So what about Howie?" I asked.

"Howie and I had a falling out because I kind of stole his girlfriend without realizing." Brian whispered. I raised my eyebrow at this, Brian.....farm boy Brian. The one with a goat on his wall, lived the secret life of a womanizer. I was shocked.

"No, I'm not kidding." he added after he saw my expression.

"Can you blame me, though?" I retorted, laughing. He rolled his eyes.

"Howie wasn't in the frat then, and he was dating this girl Marisol. Well, I had classes with her last semester and we started talking. I took her out a few times, had no idea she was his girl because he never brought her back to the room. One night she came back here with me and we were kissing, he walked in and lost it."

"Wow."

"Yeah, see that dent in the wall by the door?" he added. I looked but didn't see anything so I got up to check it out. There was an indentation in the wall. Holy shit. Howie didn't look like he'd hurt a fly, but apparently he had a bad temper from the sounds of things.

"Howie punched the wall and ended up moving out. We haven't spoken since, because Marisol blamed me. She's in a sorority....Omega Kappa Delta. She told him I came onto her. Next thing I knew, he was gone and had joined AJ and the Pikas." Brian explained, taking a bite of his egg roll.

"You don't think he's holding a grudge, do you?" I asked. It seemed like Howie was harder on Brian and me during our lessons, we got the brunt of it each time.

"Howie is very vengeful, I know he seems like a nice guy but he can be a douche. Same with any of the Pikas. You can't trust them."

I really found this hard to believe, but part of me thought Howie was a bit too nice for my liking. Halloween came up fast and I found myself wishing I was a kid again. I loved dressing up in costume. I had just finished my graphic design class when two of the Pikas were waiting outside. Their Halloween party was the next night, Brian and I had been invited but I wasn't planning on going. I had a lot of studying to do.

"Hi guys." I said, waving. They didn't wave back, they just stood there. It was Brock and Gary, I hadn't talked to them very much since I started pledging.

"You're coming with us, Carter." Brock said. I didn't like how that sounded....so like a chicken shit I started running. They caught me pretty fast and both carried me off.

"Put me down, why can't you just tell me where we are going?" I demanded. Gary blindfolded me and after that I felt myself being hit in the head.




"Nick, Nick wake up."

God damn it, my head hurts. What the fuck?

I opened my eyes and saw Brian. We were locked in some room, but he was wearing a brunette wig. Hold up. A wig?

"Brian what are you wearing?" I asked.

"I don't know where my clothes are. I woke up like this. You should see yourself." he snickered. I fully opened my eyes and looked down. I was wearing a pink dress. PINK. And frilly.

Oh hell no.

"Jesus Christ." I muttered. I was also wearing a blonde wig with pigtails.

"Nick you make a cute girl." he said, laughing and looking at me awkwardly. I backed away from him. Where the fuck were my clothes?


Suddenly the door opened and it was Howie. He took a look at us and smirked, I wanted to punch him.

"What did you do with my clothes?" I demanded. I was wearing these flats with pink puffballs on them....they were so uncomfortable. How do girls wear this stuff?

"As punishment for being late during the scavenger hunt, you must perform for the brothers at our Halloween party. We've chosen your costumes and song already. Break a leg." Howie said.

"Howie, please don't do this. Don't hold what I did against Nick....he didn't do anything wrong." Brian begged.

"Should have thought about that before you slept with Marisol." Howie winked. I looked at Brian....he'd never mentioned sleeping with her. Howie slammed the door and we were left to ourselves. I looked in the mirror and realized the outfit looked familiar.

I was dressed as Baby Spice.

"Brian, how are we gonna perform? I have never sung a single note. I can't do this. I'm a artist not a singer." I confessed. I looked again at his outfit, he must be Sporty Spice. His wasn't too bad, a girls tank top and shorts with sneakers.

"I screwed up big time Nick. We are gonna be humiliated out there and it's all my fault." he said, falling to his knees.

"We can make the best of this. I won't let them think we're being punished. We have to just put on a smile and act like nothing is wrong." I told him. I placed a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at me.

"Nick, we don't sing."

"You're right but it doesn't mean we can't have fun."


"Showtime, ladies."

Howie led us out to the backyard. There was a small platform and a karaoke screen, everybody was wearing costumes. They all laughed at us but I strutted like I didn't care even though I felt humiliated.

AJ was laughing the loudest as he drank his beer.

"Nice get up, Carter. Don't be a pussy, you can't back out of this now." he commented.

"That's Nikita to you.....and don't count on it." I smiled smugly, taking the microphone. Brian was not as into it as I was, I thought he would take off running any minute.

The song that was chosen was Wannabe. I didn't have the best voice but I still tried to be entertaining. Brian eventually joined in.


Even though the two of us made ugly girls, I think this was the best Halloween ever. I couldn't wait to tell Kevin all about it at Thanksgiving.

Chapter 8

"What do you like doing best in the world?" -Christopher Robin
"What I like best is me going to visit you." - Pooh (Winnie The Pooh)



Kevin picked me up the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I'd been so busy with studies and pledging that I hadn't spoken to him in a while. I missed my Uncle Kev time.

Not sure he missed me or not.

"How's college?" he asked as we pulled into the driveway in Orlando. I wish I had taken my bicycle to campus. There's a reason why I don't like cars....after that night I use public transportation or my bicycle.

"Huh?" I said, zoning out. I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand and he helped me with my suitcase.

"I asked how college was going. Your grades have been good. Do you like your professors?" Kevin asked again.

"Yeah, they are pretty cool. I get along with everybody okay. Brian and I are getting to know each other." I said. I wondered how Brian was coping with the holidays not knowing his real father and it made me sad to think about it.

"That's good to hear. I was hoping you two would. You're not that different from each other, you know." Kevin said. We went inside and I settled into my room. The house seemed awfully quiet, I remembered it being much louder than this. Or was it my imagination?

We ate dinner in silence the first night I came back. I was tired and it had been a long time since I could just be Nick and not Nick the college kid. I went to my room and saw my parents picture still sitting on my night stand. I picked it up and smiled at my 5 year old self on my dad's shoulders.

"Nick, you all right?" Kevin asked, rapping on the door a while later. I wiped my eyes and laid back in bed, putting on a fake smile.


"Yeah, I'm fine."


I hated lying to him but I was supposed to be over this now, wasn't I?




Thanksgiving came up quick and I was more chatty closer to it than before. I told him about pledging and about my classes, told him about Brian....but I was afraid to tell him about the Pikas. I wasn't sure how he'd react to them knowing how they were notorious on campus.

"Nick, as long as you aren't getting arrested....you're an adult now and having the full college experience."


"Really? I thought you'd be pissed about me joining a fraternity, honestly." I said, rubbing the back of my head with my hand. He shook his head at me and smiled.


"I didn't know you wanted to be in a frat, Nick. You know your dad and I were in college together with Brian's mom. We were all classmates."

This caught my attention.

"Wait, you guys know Brian's mom? I've been wondering why I never met Brian before." I said. We settled at the table with our plates of Chinese food and took out our chopsticks.

Kevin and I lived by ourselves and didn't have company, so on Thanksgiving we'd sit in our boxers and t shirts at the living room table, and put on a movie. Kevin let me choose, so naturally I picked Peter Pan. Movies with dinner was always a tradition of ours and I highly enjoyed them. We might not be a normal family but I prefer it this way. Although one day I'd like to have a real Thanksgiving dinner like we used to when Mom and Dad were still here.
We settled in and began Peter Pan, me grinning like an idiot.

"I always loved this one, it's my favorite." I commented. Kevin shook his head at me as I used my chopsticks. He had taught me how to eat with them. I always thought that's why Chinese people were skinny, because you just can't eat fast with these things.

"It gave us a lot of trouble when you were younger." Kevin chuckled.

"Really? Why's that?" I asked, although I knew the answer. I had to laugh, because it is something he won't let me forget....not to mention I have a scar on my arm from my infamous incident.

"Nick, you tried to fly off the roof." he said, playfully hitting my arm.

"Jumping is similar to flying." I reasoned.

"No it isn't. You were ten and you climbed out the second floor window, holding a kite over your head to see if it would catch wind. How can you justify breaking your arm with 'jumping is similar to flying'?" he said, mocking my voice and eating his rice. I shook my head, grinning. I knew I was a handful as a kid.

Someone give Kevin a medal because he put up with me for so long.

"I can't believe I did that."

"This is why I wouldn't let you read Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter just came out this year. I'm pretty sure I won't jump off the roof again." I said, rubbing at my scar on my elbow.

"I'd better hide the broomsticks." he joked. To be honest, I'd not read the book yet....I had been way too busy.

"I wish I could fly. You know.....just take off one day and go wherever I wanted." I thought out loud, falling back onto the couch behind us. Kevin passed me the soy sauce and chuckled.

"You can do that now, but you don't need to fly. Just learn to drive."

Again with the driving thing. Kevin doesn't understand my fear of moving vehicles. I remember him trying to teach me......and me freaking out when a rabbit hopped in front of us. I hit it. I remember insisting we give Thumper a proper burial. He thought I was weird....but I had a soft spot for bunnies.

"Are you thinking about the Thumper incident?" he asked. How does he do that? I swear once you become a parent you gain superpowers. Kevin's superpower was reading minds and embarrassing me. He was perfect at both.

"Maybe." I whispered. Looking at the movie, I never noticed that Tinker Bell sure had a body. Well, for a fairy.

However, if I could pick a sexy Disney character.....definitely Jasmine. Definitely. Or maybe Ariel. I wonder how sex would work though. She'd have to be human first....

"Nick?"

I really gotta stop daydreaming.

"Focus." Kevin said.

"Sorry."


Kevin didn't say anything, he just ruffled my hair and smiled as my hand shot up to get my bangs out of my face.

"So where's that toilet seat you promised to send me?" he asked.

I had to laugh. Kevin may be old but he is still a kid at heart. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I made a mental note to ask Brian who his favorite princess was when I got back to school.

Chapter 9


"Remember, they'll say anything to make you doubt yourself." - Toy Story 3

I didn't sleep well the night before Kevin brought me back to campus. I kept dreaming of police sirens and ambulances.....the memories were coming back more now than before and I wanted to get back to school so they'd stop. I hardly talked about that night because it was too painful. On the way to campus I was quiet, watching the road outside.

"I guess the next time I'll see you is for Christmas, eh kiddo?" Kevin asked. We got to the dorm before Brian....who was driving from Kentucky. I'd messaged him on AIM from home before we left to make sure he was ok, but Kevin needed to use the phone and I got kicked off the computer. He didn't say much but that he would see me soon.

"Kevin, we should invite Brian and his mom for Christmas." I suggested without really thinking about it.

"I don't know.....I could talk to Jackie about it, but her husband doesn't really like me......we'll see, okay? Just keep in touch is all I ask. Stay out of trouble." Kevin smiled. I smiled back, it felt good to be back on campus.

We had gotten there on Saturday so I still had an extra day of no classes. Brian got there late, around dinner time. I'd gotten some sandwiches in case he was hungry when he got in.

"Hey, Sheriff." I said, and he laughed.

"You still calling me that, Nick? How was your holiday?" he asked.

"Good. Did you know your mom and my dad went to college with Kevin? I can't believe it." I told him. He looked at me, his face kinda stunned, like I'd dropped a bomb.

"Really? My mom never mentioned college." he said, grabbing a turkey sandwich and taking a bite. This was really weird. I wish I had gotten more information than what Kevin gave me. Part of me wondered just how close my dad and Brian's mom were.

"She was friends with Bob but that's as much as I know. She didn't know your mom well, just kept in touch with him sometimes." Brian explained.

"I see. Hey, I know this is a random question, but who is your favorite Disney princess?" I asked, remembering my mental note.

"Definitely Princess Aurora." he smiled.

Really?

"Okay, well I think Jasmine is hotter." I protested. Aladdin was a lucky bastard.

"Yeah she isn't bad, but I like blondes." he chuckled.

"So what did you see in Marisol then?" I asked. I saw her around campus, she was an exotic looking girl, half Spanish and half Italian.

"She came onto me. Nothing compared to my girlfriend in high school. Didn't you have someone in school too?" Brian asked. I thought about it....I never actually had a real relationship before.

"No, I mean there were girls I liked, but I want into dating any of them. I kept to myself a lot." I confessed.

"Really? I thought you would be a womanizer."

I looked at him like he grew two heads. Where the heck does he get these crazy ideas about me? He's the womanizer.....not me.

"Okay, I take that as a no." he laughed.

"So what was your high school girlfriend like?"

"Her name was Samantha. She was a lot of fun, but after school we stopped talking. She went to college in New York. Haven't heard from her since." he said, looking a little down.

"Sorry to hear that. I've always wanted a relationship....but I dunno. Girls are too much work. I didn't even go to prom." I said. I never regretted this decision. Call me weird but dating wasn't my forte.


"Have you at least kissed a girl?" he asked.

"Yeah, but I always wanted a kiss like in Lady And The Tramp....ya know, with the spaghetti?"

Brian pretended to vomit.

"That's seriously nasty, and never mention that to anyone again."


I laughed and threw my sandwich at him.



That first weekend back was calm.....the calm before the storm.

I was back into my regular routine of classes, even more homework. Brian and I had so much studying that we spent nights in our dorm with our heads buried in books.

I took a walk the week after we got back to clear my head, and I ran into Howie.

Not literally this time, I promise.


"How was your break?" he asked me. I thought this was weird.....the Pikas had pretty much rejected us after failing the scavenger hunt and the other test.

"It was ok. I went home to Orlando." I said, stuffing my hands in my jean pockets.

"Look. We don't normally do this, but AJ wants to give you another chance to join." Howie whispered, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"Me? Why me? I thought you guys said we failed." I stated. I didn't know whether I liked him after he'd made me dress like a Spice Girl.

"You did. Majorly." he said. I rolled my eyes and started walking, but he stopped me.

"I'm not done with you yet, Carter. AJ wants to give you another chance to join. I'm being serious." he said with a wink.

That winking thing is starting to piss me off.

"Okay...." I replied slowly.

"There's one catch, though. Brian can't know about this." he said, looking around as if Brian was going to pop out of the bushes.

"Why not?"

"The guys like you, but Littrell is dragging you down with him. He's an embarrassment. You're better off if you hang with us. We already saw you can do that." Howie replied. I thought back to the beer pong night. If that was what he meant, I wasn't sure about joining. My scholarship was too important to throw away for a frat, especially one that emphasizes on partying.

"I don't know." I said hesitantly, my eyes narrowed.

"We won't take no for an answer. Just think about it. I'll be around." he said, patting me on the back. I watched him walk away, not even sure of what to do next. I loved living with Brian.....but what did Howie and the Pikas want with me?

Chapter 10



"Open your eyes now before you get hurt." - Princess and The Frog




I was so undecided about what Howie had offered me. On one hand, being in a frat could help me.....but again it could hurt me as well. I spent a lot of time thinking about it as I went over some sketches I made while in Orlando during break. I was doing really well in my classes and having a good time as well, we were doing some life drawings with models this week.

I am not complaining. The girl we had to draw was pretty hot.

Brian was studying a lot, he had to memorize a bunch of things for his agricultural class that he was taking, and he had a test coming up. I don't know the first thing about farming, it just seems like a lot of work from how he described it.

So here we are, spending another weekend in our dorm studying while others were at parties and doing normal college things. It would be worth it in the end, I hoped. I really wanted to be an animator and this is what I chose to do.

"Nick, I'm bored." Brian commented.

"I thought you had to study." I said, putting down my Game Boy. I'd taken to playing Tetris when I needed a break from studying and it helped relieve some stress a bit.

Side effect was that afterwards I could not look at a tiled floor the same way again.


"I do, but I want to do something fun. We haven't done much since college started." he said.

"Where are you going with this?" I asked.

"We should see a movie. Like at the movie theater." Brian suggested. I thought about it, I hardly went to the movies unless there was a new Disney one out. Kevin and I had seen Mulan earlier this year. I liked it, it was pretty good and I enjoyed the music.

"Which one?"


"You pick."

I opened the newspaper sitting on the table.....nothing really appealed to me but the new Adam Sandler movie. I had seen a preview while back in Orlando and it looked really funny, it was about a guy playing college football.

"How about The Waterboy?" I asked.

"Sounds good to me, I love Adam Sandler. We can go see it at 9." he said. I let him finish studying and went for a walk.

It was pretty quiet on campus that night, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and enjoyed the fresh air.

"Yo! Nick!"

I looked up to see Howie running over. This was odd because AJ never asked me anything himself, he always sent Howie to find me. I personally felt like Howie was the one running the show when AJ wasn't paying attention.

Either that, or he was too drunk to pay attention.

"Hi." I said. I kept walking and he matched my pace before moving in front, blocking my path.

"Look. AJ isn't gonna wait anymore. We want you to join." he told me sternly.

"I'm not so sure....I mean you took out your issues with Brian on me before at the Halloween party." I snapped. Did he really think I was that dumb?

"You have a legacy to uphold with the Pikas. We can help you....put a good word in with the animation studio. Brock's uncle works for Disney. He can get you in." Howie winked. My ears kind of perked up at this, but my guard was not down yet.

"I'm not taking an easy way out, Howie. I want to earn that internship, not have anything handed to me. My father would have wanted it that way." I said.

Howie seemed impressed, he nodded his head and rubbed at his chin.

"Okay, Disney.....about your father. He was a Pika. Did you know this? You have a legacy with the frat. He's well known among the brothers, that's why AJ wanted you in the first place. His dad was a Pika too. It's fate." he said softly. I wondered for a moment if what he said was true. I also didn't like him calling me Disney.

"Why doesn't AJ talk to me himself? He has a mouth, doesn't he?" I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm his vice chairman. I have to go and find members, it's my duty to the frat. If you want to talk to him, come with me. I'll take you to see AJ and you can ask for yourself." Howie offered. I stood there for a minute, thinking. It couldn't hurt to go and see AJ.

Brian could wait, couldn't he?




"So where is he?" I asked when we got to the frat house. The place was a mess and it smelled like dog shit. It was rancid. My stomach was doing backflips.

"Before you see AJ, you need to do some things to prove yourself." Howie winked. Here we go. I knew there was a fucking catch.

"What?"

He was holding up a french maid's uniform. Why do they always want me to dress in women's clothes? These guys are freaks.

"Hell no." I said, heading for the door, but Brock and Gary blocked the way. Brock shoved me to the floor and Howie threw the uniform at me.

"You have 2 hours to clean the place up, kid. You can't leave or miss anything.....it has to be cleaned perfectly. If you fail, there will be consequences." he smirked. I was fuming, I ran at him but Brock pushed me again.

"Don't cross me, Disney. I can make your life hell." Howie sneered. I reluctantly went to go and put the maid outfit on.....when I came out, the brothers stood there laughing at me. Some were even taking Polaroids. My eyes almost watered but I wouldn't let them get to me.

As I cleaned, they cat called and threw things.....all I could think about was just finishing so I could leave. I wanted nothing to do with them....the house was a horrendous mess. I swear, there was vomit....human shit....animal shit, it was the worst I could have ever imagined. Halfway through Howie stood in the door, laughing at me.

"Hey, Disney.....um, there is a way you can get out of this."

"What is it? Nothing is worth this shit," I said, throwing down the towel. The skirt was riding up my ass too much for my liking.

He held up a razor.

"No fucking way. I'm not shaving my head." I protested.

"Not yours. Brian looks like he could use a haircut....why don't you help him along?"

I stared at him in shock, he stood there smirking at me and relishing my humiliation.

"Are you kidding me?" I shouted, standing up.

"Nope."

"I'm not doing that."

Brock was now in the doorway too, which was a damn miracle considering he's twice the size of Howie. I never noticed before how tiny Howie was.....how could someone so small be such a douchebag?

"You'll do what we tell you." Howie barked. I got in his face and looked him dead in the eye.

"Listen here. You may treat me like shit up and down but I will NOT do anything to Brian just because he stole your girlfriend. You've been an ass since I started rushing this frat, and I don't give a fuck who was in it before me because I quit!!" I screamed. They all busted out laughing, jeering about my maid's outifit.

"Y'all can kiss my rosy white ass!" I said, lifting up the skirt and pulling down my underwear, mooning them. I stormed off, picking up the bag with my clothes in it and walked out.

I didn't care if I was dressed as a maid, it felt wonderful to finally tell the douchebags off.

What a fucking night.

Chapter 11


"Bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it, right? So why worry?" - Simba (Lion King)



Brian sat up when I walked into the dorm, still in the maid's outfit. I was so pissed from what happened that I forgot to change my clothes....luckily nobody had seen me walking back.

"Nick?" he said, raising his eyebrow. I stormed into the bathroom, slammed the door and threw my clothes on the counter before sitting down on the toilet. I was breathing heavily and I wanted to cry, but once again pride held me back. I never liked to cry in front of people and I wasn't about to start looking like a pussy. Kevin had always taught me not to show my emotions to anyone, that it was a sign of weakness. I wasn't weak.

"Are you okay?" Brian's voice asked from behind the door. I ignored him, undressing with shaky hands before turning on the hot water in our shower. Eventually he walked away. I sat under the hot water, just letting it roll across the curve of my spine. I felt so stupid, letting Howie do that to me....letting him humiliate me like that. I was a ball of emotions all at once, I wanted to punch something.

I got out of the shower and Brian was still up, looked like he was waiting for me but I didn't talk to him. I walked out in a T-shirt and my boxers, the ones with Goofy on them.

"Are you okay?" he asked again, but I got into bed and threw my blanket over my head, sighing. I wasn't in the mood.


I turned on my side and ignored him, before falling asleep for the night. Maybe if I stayed here long enough everyone and everything would just disappear...at least I hope that it would.


The next morning I woke up and Brian had gone to classes already. I stayed in bed, debating on going myself. I hadn't missed a single class yet....and I wasn't about to start now. I got up and took a breath before leaving the dorm, heading off to graphic design. The day went surprisingly well, but I was alone for most of the day. I saw some of the Pikas around campus but none of them seemed to be bothered with me after yesterday.

"Hey, Sheriff." I said when I got back to the dorm that night. Brian looked surprised that I was talking to him as I set my books down.

"Hi." he said over his Farmer's Almanac. Wait....he reads that for fun? You gotta be shitting me.

"Brian, we aren't on the farm right now," I joked. He looked as if he realized what he'd been reading and we both laughed.

"Nick....you think we could go see that movie tonight instead? I know I was looking forward to it." he asked...but I wasn't in the mood. I didn't really answer but I flopped down on the bed and sighed.

"I'm surprised you still want to hang out with a loser like me." I said, sounding very un-Nick like.

"You're not a loser. Why would I think that?" he drawled.

"Apparently hanging out with you makes me one." I said in the nicest way possible. His smile fell after that and I sat up.

"I've heard this....but coming from you-"

"No....Brian. I wasn't saying you were a loser. Yesterday when you were studying I took a walk and ran into Howie. He started telling me a bunch of stuff and i ended up going to the frat house." I explained.

"You blew me off to go hang with them?" Brian asked, looking even more hurt. I once again felt like the world's biggest asshole.

"Brian, it wasn't my choice. I went to go see AJ because according to Howie our dads were in Phi Kappa Alpha together. I thought maybe he would know something, but it turns out AJ is a pussy. Howie does all his dirty work....and I should have listened to you. Instead of talking I had to clean that whole fucking frat." I explained. I spilled everything, about the maid outfit, the dog shit.....them throwing things...everything came out.

"Howie also wanted me to shave your head while you were sleeping." I confessed, not looking him in the eye.
"That asshole. Nick, I never wanted you to get involved in my feud with Howie and the Pikas..I'm so sorry they did all that to you." Brian said. He honestly didn't have to apologize, I did it to myself without even trying really.

Sometimes I think i don't deserve to have friends, I almost ditched the one friend I have for a bunch of guys that only liked me because of who my dad was.

"It just really pisses me off that Howie used your dad to get you to join." he continued, looking pissed off. I'd never seen Brian get really mad before, but he was pretty heated.

"Don't worry about it." I told him. I stayed to the dorm that night and I was about to fall asleep when Brian came running in looking angry again. He was holding a paper in his hand.


"Brian?"

He threw the paper down and was cursing under his breath so I picked it up. My eyes went wide at the advertisement for housekeeping services.....and there was a picture of me. Me cleaning a bathroom in the fucking french maid outfit.

"WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS???" I yelled, shaking him.

"On the bulletin board at the student center....." Brian said. I threw the paper down. The frat brothers must have Xeroxed the polaroids and made this out of them. I knew Howie had threatened to make my life hell....but was this necessary?


"I can't leave the dorm again," I said, throwing myself onto the bed and putting the pillow over myself, as if I were going to cut off air circulation. At this point that would be fine with me.

"Hakuna Matata, Nick." Brian said suddenly, and I peeked out of the pillow....stunned he was quoting a Disney movie.

"Hakuna Matata?" I asked.

"No worries....don't let those assholes get to you. We aren't gonna let them think they won, remember?"

"But they did." I pouted. I heard him walk over and pick up the pillow, smiling at me. I was feeling lower than low, I didn't want to show my face anywhere.

"Bad things happen....and there's nothing you can do about it. So why worry?" he quoted. I hated to admit it, but he was right.

"Let's go have some pizza and forget all about this, okay Nick? How does that sound?" he offered. Brian usually didn't sound so confident, it was like we switched personalities. I decided to follow him to the pizza place anyway, looking over my shoulder to make sure nobody was laughing behind my back.

"Look who it is."

I almost crawled under the booth but I knew I wouldn't fit. Brian grabbed my shirt to stop me from hiding. I looked up and Howie was standing in front of us, smirking at me.

"What the hell do you want?" Brian snapped. He stood up and the two were as tall as each other, I can't believe how short Howie is compared to me. How could I let this little midget intimidate me?

"I saw Disney's advertisement today and I wanted to let him know we have some more toilets that need cleaning." Howie said with a wink. I was filled with so much rage then that I stood up and punched him square in the face. He hit me back and we were soon involved in a scuffle....Brian had to pull me off of him. Howie came at me again but Gary held him back.

"Stay away from me. If you come near me or Brian again...." I growled as I wiped blood off my lip. Howie and the others left and Brian took me back to the dorm to clean up. It felt good to stand up for myself....but part of me was looking forward to christmas break so I didn't have to deal with these stupid college kids.

I just hoped that was the last I'd see of Howie and the Pikas.

Chapter 12

"First, just analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without thinking." - Phil (Hercules)

After my run in with Howie, things were pretty smooth after that. Brian and I were like two peas in a pod, I was passing my exams and so was he. Life was good.

However for me there was one thing missing.

I'd never been on a date.

Brian always talked about these old girlfriends he'd dated back home and I was slightly jealous. When he'd ask me to tell my girlfriend stories, I would make something up or change the topic. Not  to mention some of my classmates thought I was gay and Brian was my boyfriend...by the way I talked about him. Brian said this, and Brian said that. I mean, not that he isn't appealing and all....but I prefer women. I swear.

It was then that it hit me, I'd never really been with one....ya know, in the sense of being with someone. Brian told me he had slept with Howie's girl and I just kept thinking he's some expert on girls, and I hadn't learned his secrets yet.

I wish there was a class on this girl crap.

So as I'm here having these thoughts during class, I realize I'm hungry. We got let out and I headed for a vending machine, looking for something to tide me over in between. There was a hot girl there, preventing me from satisfying my craving for Twinkies.

"Hi," she said. I looked up and just smiled at her.

"Hi."

Instead of impressing her, I managed to trip and almost land into the machine. She giggled and helped me up. Her hair was red and she had blue eyes, like Ariel. I grinned but ended up blushing.

Smooth, Carter.

"You're funny." she said. I laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of my head. Funny was girl code for 'you're a idiot'.

"Um, thanks.....I guess." I blushed.

"I was trying to get that pack of Twinkies, it got stuck." she said. I looked at the machine and was faced with a really tough decision. It was either impress her and let her have them, or act like I couldn't reach them, then grab them and eat them myself.

Choosing food over women is not fair, I thought as my stomach growled.

"Let me help you." I said.

No, Nick. You want to eat. What are you doing? There's plenty of other vending machines on campus.......but I look at her again. I stuck my arm in as far as I could....and the Twinkies managed to slide out. However....my arm wouldn't follow suit.

"Oh shit."

"Are you okay? Should I get help?" she asked sweetly. I struggled.

"Um....no..." I said, trying to sound manly and failing miserably. I started to panic a little and my arm was throbbing at this point.

"Let me see if I can pull you out." she said. She wrapped her arms around my waist and for a second it seemed like we were the only ones there. We pulled together and I finally broke free, falling backwards.

"Thanks." I smiled, rubbing my arm. She looked me over and smiled back.

"My name is Crystal. Will you be okay....uh....." she said, and I realized I hadn't told her my name.

"Oh....Um.....Nick....my name's Nick. I think."

"You think?" she chuckled.

I blushed again. I was a mess in front of hot girls.

"Nice to meet you." she replied with a small giggle. I held up the Twinkie bag and she blushed a little.

"Want half?" I offered. Now I was even surprised with myself, I never shared food with anyone....ever. I gave her half of it and we walked together, eating and talking. We talked about lots of things, she wanted to be a nurse. We had some things in common, she was from Orlando too.

"Well, Nick....we walked halfway through this building and you haven't asked me out yet. I'm impressed."

"I just met you." I said flatly.

"Okay, then I will save you the trouble. Would you like to go out tomorrow? I like you." she asked. I was stunned, I'd never been asked out before.

"Sure. Where should I pick you up?"

"Brian!!!!!" I shouted, running into the dorm a few hours later. He was napping so I pulled his covers off and he woke up.

"Yes?"

"BrianImetahotgirlthatlookslikeArielandIneedyourhelp!" I said without stopping to breathe. He sat up, looking at me in confusion.

"What?"

"I met this girl today..."

When I was done telling him, he started laughing.

"You got your arm stuck in a vending machine and got a date out of it? Clearly we need to work on your technique on picking up girls."

"Briaaaaaaan.....I'm being serious. I've never been on a real date in my life. I don't know anything about girls." I whined. I gave him the pout and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Save it, Nick. So all those dates you told me about weren't true? Even the one about having sex in Kevin's pickup truck?" he asked.

"Um....let's not tell Kevin about that one. That was the night I lost my virginity. It wasn't a date. She was a friend of mine and we agreed to have sex so neither of us went to college a virgin." I confessed. I did regret doing that because I never did hear from her again. I don't remember her name, it started with a M.

"Okay, well I don't know how I can be of help. You kinda need to figure this stuff out on your own." Brian said.

Well fuck a duck. How was I going to handle this one? I was hopeful but extremely nervous about seeing Crystal, especially after making an idiot of myself...I wasn't expecting anything to come of the date, but hey. Stranger things have happened.

I would have to just wait and see.

Chapter 13


"How do you know? How do you know something bad isn't going to happen?" - Marlin (Finding Nemo)




I was really nervous about meeting Crystal again....I mean, I'd never been on a real date before. I walked to her dorm which was not far from mine and she drove.

"You don't drive, Nick?" she asked. She looked so pretty, and I wanted to tell her but I was too shy.

"No, my uncle brought me to campus. If I gotta get somewhere I walk or take a bus." I explained.

Me and cars don't get along, but that's a story for another day. I didn't want to bring THAT up. Especially because it had been a while since I thought about that night.

"That makes sense. When I came to campus I brought this with me. I don't like to walk anywhere unless it is close by. Do you have your license at least?" she asked. I thought about what she'd asked and told her that I did, I just chose not to drive because it would be less pollution or some crap. I don't remember but a white lie never hurt anything, did it? We haven't known each other long enough to be telling our life stories.

"So where are we going, Crystal?" I asked, hearing my stomach growl. She had talked about getting food and I was looking forward to it.

"I thought we could go somewhere simple. There's an IHOP not far from campus, I figured we could go there and have some dinner." she said as I smiled.

"IHOP is so good. I am in the mood for pancakes." I laughed, rubbing my stomach. I had made a big effort not to wear any Disney stuff on this date, at Brian's advice. I didn't want to look like a dork in front of her, although I wasn't sure how I could make myself look any worse than getting my arm stuck in a vending machine.

"I like the stuffed french toast." she said as we pulled into the parking lot. We walked into the IHOP and I immediately noticed Howie and AJ were there sitting in a corner booth with two girls. Fuck. I hoped they hadn't seen us.

The last thing I needed was Howie to see me and start shit.

Crystal and I ordered our food, she got french toast with bacon. I ordered scrambled eggs, bacon and a side of pancakes because I was hungry. She laughed at the waitresses' reaction to my order but didn't judge me.

"You weren't kidding when you said you were hungry, were you?" she giggled as I took a sip of orange juice.
"I like my food." I replied flatly with a grin. We seemed to be getting along, this was a great sign.

"So what music do you like?" she asked. I wasn't sure how to answer, I didn't want to start overloading her with my Disney obsession. I liked show tunes but I also liked my rock and heavy metal.

"Um....I like Nirvana....Metallica, Journey. I like my rock music." I said, and that was the truth. I loved Journey a lot, something me and my dad had shared together.

"Nice. I'm the same. I like the pop scene happening right now. Britney Spears, NSYNC....98 Degrees." Crystal told me as she stirred her coffee.


"Who?" I asked.


"You mean you don't know NSYNC? Justin Timberlake?"


I made a face. I'd heard of them, but it wasn't my cup of tea. I preferred music that had a story behind it, not a group of pretty boys dancing and singing about love. You'd never catch ME doing that.

"I just learned what a New Kid On The Block was, don't get me wrong I like music....but do I look like someone who listens to them?" I chuckled.

"True. So how about movies?"

"Movies....I like comedy. Science fiction....but I will watch anything." I said. That answer seemed good. I really wanted to tell her my favorite movie was Peter Pan but I thought that wasn't good enough.

"Huh, that's funny. I thought you'd say Disney or something, I've seen you around campus. I like that Mickey shirt you have." she said. I sat back in the booth, blinking at her. Did I hear her right?

"Um, sorry?"

"I thought you would answer something else. It's ok to like Disney, Nick. I like it too. I like that you are a kid at heart. That's why I asked you out." she replied. I was floored.

"Really?"

"I loved Peter Pan growing up. I always dreamed of learning how to fly. For a while I wanted to be a flight attendant before I started in nursing."
I couldn't believe how much we had in common and felt I must be dreaming. I was so distracted that my hand knocked into her coffee and spilled it right onto her lap.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, jumping up. I saw some people turn around....including Howie. I tried to make myself inconspicuous.

"I'm so sorry." I muttered as I sopped the mess up with some napkins. Our food hadn't come yet so it wasn't too bad. I just apologized over and over, feeling like an idiot.

"Don't worry about it, Nick. I'm just gonna go clean up in the bathroom." she said, smiling at me. I felt horrible after she'd left so I wondered how I could make it up to her.



A while later, I wondered if she was all right, but I saw Howie hanging over by the women's room. I was about to get up but I saw him talking to Crystal, whispering and pointing at me. She had a coffee stain on her pants but it wasn't that noticeable. All of a sudden she came storming over....her face twisted with rage.

"HOW DARE YOU?" she shouted. I looked at her, raising an eyebrow. I couldn't say anything....I simply shrugged.

"I....uh..." I stammered.

"Nick, I thought you were a nice guy...." she said, her eyes swimming with tears that were about to be shed. I went to stand as the waitress came with our food, but I tripped over my own shoelace.

"Watch out!" the waitress yelled. I saw it happening in slow motion, the tray going flying......I put my hands over my eyes, peering through my fingers.
SPLAT.


"UGH!!!!!"


My mouth hung open in shock.

I didn't want to look. I could hear Crystal fretting but I didn't want to look, yet curiosity got the better of me. Her red hair was covered in my scrambled eggs. Pieces of pancake, bacon....hash browns.....splashes of butter and syrup dripped down her face. I winced. It had also gone down her top and she was just covered.....covered. I got up and tried to comfort her, but instead her hand came across my face.

It stung like ten bees......damn this girl has an arm.

I didn't know what else to say. The only thing that came to mind was-

"Check please."



We were silent during the ride back to the dorm, she was so furious with me. My face had a bright red handprint on it.

"I know I said this a million times, but I'm so sor-"

"Save it, Nick. I don't want anything to do with you now. So you can tell your little friend that you lost the bet and we can move on with our lives." Crystal hissed, her foot slamming on the accelerator. This made me very uneasy as she was speeding...

But I would have been very foolish to tell her to slow down. Kevin always said to never piss off a woman when she was driving.

"What bet?" I asked, realizing what she had said.

"The one you have going with your roommate to see if you could get me laid by the end of tonight. Nick, I can overlook the Disney stuff. I can overlook being clumsy and socially awkward. But this.....I don't like being used. Get the fuck out of my car." Crystal yelled as we pulled up by my building. She still smelled like pancakes and had egg in her hair.

Again, I wasn't about to tell her.

"Listen, let me explain.....Howie...." I started, but she slapped me again.

"GET. OUT." she said, and I got out of the car, watching her speed off. She rolled her car window down and flipped me off as she left. I stared in surprise, rubbing the side of my face absentmindedly. She looked like Ariel, but she sure was a moody bitch. At that point I didn't care about her anymore. Howie had ruined something yet again and I wondered if it would ever stop.

It was then that I reached down and realized I had french toast stuck to my ass the whole time.

Fucking beautiful.

At least I'd have a fun story to tell Brian tonight.

Chapter 14


"Bad guys are there to make the good guys look better, and they will get their comeuppance in the end." - Pixarpedia




"Whoa, what happened to you?"

Brian was looking at me like I was road kill or something. Cause that makes me feel so much better. I glared at him and he shrunk back.

"I take it the date didn't go well." he observed. as I went to change.


Thank you, captain obvious.

"It was going fine until that midget showed up." I said bitterly. Howie was getting on my last nerve but I'd never stand up to him. He was in a frat and I.....well I was nobody.

"Howie was there? Where'd you and Crystal go?" Brian asked. I laughed at the fact he knew who I was talking about right away. I came back in the room and sat down before telling him the whole story. He shook his head afterwards.

"So she slapped me and told me to get the fuck out of her car. Brian....I am just not cut out for this dating shit." I said with a sigh. I felt like such an idiot that it wasn't funny, also felt like as long as I was at this school....I was doomed. Doomed to be a loser.

"Nick, you need to stand up to that asshole." Brian said.

"I can't. He always manages to screw me over." I whispered, hanging my head in shame. Brian stood up and grabbed both of my shoulders, shaking me.

"No, Nick. You HAVE to. You keep letting him walk all over you. It's time we gave him some payback."

"How are we gonna do this?" I asked. Part of me kinda wanted to show Howie we aren't pussies, but I didn't think this plan would work. I mean....me and Brian can't even eat with chopsticks properly, how are we supposed to come up with a plan?

"I'm sure we will come up with something." Brian said with a wink.



We had a long weekend coming up the week before Christmas. Christmases in Florida were normal for me, but Brian didn't understand how you could have one without snow.

"So what do you do? Decorate a palm tree?" he joked.

"Me and Kevin will probably do what we did for Thanksgiving, eat Chinese food in our boxers and watch Peter Pan." I said as he raised his eyebrow.

"Yes, I'm serious."

"Okaaay. So you've never seen snow?"

"Nope. Not a flake." I replied. I really wanted to see it. I wish there was a way to make it snow in Florida.

"You and Kevin should spend Christmas with us. Have a real one....I can ask my mom since she and him know each other." Brian smiled. I hadn't had a real Christmas since I was a kid, so I agreed but we decided to ask Kevin in person and surprise him. We drove to Orlando and Kevin was happy to see me. Orlando was about an hour away, not a far drive with the directions I gave Brian.

"So this is where you live?" he asked.

"Yup. Since I was twelve." I replied. I hadn't told him much about back home but I missed it all the time. Brian kind of glanced at me and opened his mouth, but he seemed to think better of it. The two of us rode in silence until we got to my house.

Kevin was sitting on the porch, he stood up and walked over to greet us before letting us into the house.

"I see we have a guest." Kevin smiled. Brian was looking at everything, the pictures on the walls and some artwork I did in high school that Kevin framed.

"Yeah, Brian wanted to tag along." I joked as he nudged me.

"I was your ride here, remember. Nice to see you again, Kevin." Brian said as they shook hands.

"So what brings you two by?"

"We wanted to talk to you about some stuff." I told him as Brian looked at a picture of me and my dad on my tenth birthday. We told Kevin everything that had went down with the Pikas and he just shook his head.

"Nick. You shouldn't have gone with him, I'm surprised you didn't figure out what would happen. Still doesn't make it right though." Kevin said as we all drank some fresh iced tea.

"I just was curious, is all. We want to get back at him, but we can't think of anything good enough." I said, setting down my glass and feeling refreshed.

Kevin smiled and we were all quiet for a bit.

"Well, back when I was in college with your dad....we played a prank on this other frat. They were always messing with us. Your dad didn't take crap from anybody." he said. I hung my head in shame.

"Don't feel bad, kiddo. Here's what you can do...and I'm gonna help."



"You sure this is gonna work?" I asked as we waited for Kevin's signal. He'd ridden back to the campus with us after we made the frat some special brownies.

Not the pot filled kind. These were different.

Brian and I waited for Kevin's signal and we went inside the frat while he distracted Brock and Gary. He was disguised as a building inspector. He'd come up with most of the plan himself, I was impressed.

"Quick....give me that fish." Brian whispered when we got to the air conditioning vent in the kitchen. I took the plastic baggie out from under my shirt and he opened it.

"UGH!!!" we said in unison. It smelled rancid. I wanted to hurl.

Brian climbed up on the kitchen table and put the fish inside, then closed the grate. It was already smelling. I wondered if this would be enough to get them back. We were almost out of the house when Howie came walking towards us.

"Shit.....shit!" I whispered as Brian dragged me along. We hid inside someone's room until he was gone.

"Looks like we are stuck here for a bit." Brian said, peeking out of the door jam. Howie was now talking to Kevin and we grinned. He had a brownie in his hand and was eating.

"Geez, Kevin. What is taking so long? I hate when he does this." I muttered. They were talking for quite a while, about a hour and I saw Howie headed in our direction, holding his stomach.

This was his room.

"Hide!!!" I whispered. I wasn't looking, I just picked the first door I could find. Unfortunately it was the bathroom and I did NOT want to be in here. No way in HELL. It wasn't going to be pretty.

Me and Brian managed to both squeeze into the closet, and it was a tight fit.

"Dude we have to get out of here." he whispered.

"Yes because I always wanted to get trapped in a closet with you. Let's just wait until he's on the toilet. He won't be going anywhere for a long time." I laughed. We heard Howie go into the bathroom and were horrified at the noises coming from it.

"Nasty." Brian whispered. We somehow managed to get out of there, and it smelled awful from that and the fish. Kevin was waiting for us outside.

"Did it work?" he asked.

Brian and I glanced at each other and the three of us started laughing.

We drove Kevin home and we celebrated that night. Score one for the "losers".

It felt like Christmas had come early this year.

Chapter 15


"Remember, Laughter is ten times more powerful than screams." - Mike (Monsters Inc.)



Christmas was getting closer but one thing was coming up I wasn't looking forward to: FINALS. Brian and I were going nuts studying....so much that many nights we ended up hitting the books all night long. Classes were taking their toll and lack of sleep made us cranky.

I kept to myself while Brian studied and took walks so I wouldn't overload. One morning I decided to go get some coffee and ran into someone I wasn't expecting.

"AJ?" I muttered. He was alone, and to my surprise- sober. Then again, it was ten in the morning. He didn't have Howie or anyone else with him so I approached him slowly.

"Carter!" he called over to me as he waved. I ordered my coffee and we sat down at the table to talk.

"I just wanted to say I am sorry for Howie ruining your date with..."

"Crystal." I said bitterly. My face still stung when I thought of her.

"I tried to tell him not to do that." AJ said as I almost choked on my coffee. I was really confused. Every time Howie came to get me, he blamed him....now I wasn't so sure AJ had anything to do with it.

"You did? What about everything else? Howie told me you really wanted me for the frat." I said. AJ looked at me and shook his head.

"He pretty much runs shit behind my back, I never realized until recently. He's a bully, I heard all the stuff he did to you, I never wanted any of that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I thought the Spice Girls shit was funny but I didn't want them to make you clean our house. The hazing stuff was out of control. So I was hoping I'd run into you to talk to you about it." AJ said. I sipped at my coffee and just stared, feeling like he was telling the truth, but part of me was nagging. How did I know Howie wasn't fucking with me yet again?

"Our dads went to college together." I said.

"Yeah I know. They weren't really friends, so I can't tell you much. Just some old pictures we keep as a record of alumni and stuff."

"I'd like to see them." I smiled. AJ and I went to the frat house and he showed them to me as we hung out and talked. AJ was nothing like Howie and he was actually a cool guy.

"This is from when your dad had the toga party the last year he was here. Is that your mom with him?" AJ said, holding up the picture. I looked at it. The woman had brown hair and definitely did not look like my mother.

They were kissing.

"No, that isn't her. This is weird." I said. I wondered for a moment if it was Brian's mother but shook that thought out of my head. There was no way.

"Maybe it's his college girlfriend...." AJ said. They were in a few more pictures together, holding hands and just partying. We heard someone yelling downstairs and figured out that it was Howie.

"He's such an ass." I said bitterly.

"A lot of the brothers don't like him. He thinks he's in charge around here when I'm too drunk to notice." AJ commented. He had told me a lot while I was with him, how Howie was a huge manipulator.

"You could always get back at him." I suggested with a smirk.

"I think someone tried that. Our kitchen still smells like fish."

I busted out laughing, remembering what Brian and I had done.

"That was me. Sorry about that." I confessed. A smile appeared on his face.

"Wanna help me get back at him some more?"

He didn't even have to ask.


It took us quite a while to set this prank up but AJ told me it was a classic and sure to work. Plus we had used a lot of butter to grease the floors in certain spots.

"Howie, can you come into the foyer?" AJ called. Howie came marching in but looked pissed.

"What the hell is he doing here? He's not welcome HERE!!!" he screeched as his feet slid. AJ and I were full blown belly laughing at the sight of him slipping and sliding. He fell on his ass but got up, then fell again. Even some of the brothers were laughing.

"Someone help me!" Howie yelled. Brock and Gary stumbled over and they all fell in a heap. The three of them tumbling over made it even more hilarious. I was gonna piss myself if this kept up.

Howie finally managed to stand and start walking over to us, but he slipped again. He slid and I opened the door, he went flying off the steps and right into a giant mud puddle outside. Everyone was laughing as he splashed.

AJ walked over, smiling at Howie.

"For lying to a pledge and running things behind my back.....you are on double probation until further notice. Now go clean up."

A few of the brothers cheered, me included. Howie stormed up to me pointing a muddy finger in my face and opening his mouth.

"Furthermore- you better not do anything else to Carter, because if I get wind that you have....you will need to find yourself a dorm. I don't want our frat to be known for hazing." AJ added. Howie growled and stomped into the house, leaving muddy footprints.


I was so happy when I went back to the dorm, but I knew hell was going to be starting. I had a lot of exams coming the week before christmas, and I was not looking forward to any of it. Brian had invited me and Kevin to Kentucky for Christmas.

I'd borrowed the picture of my dad and the college girl, I was gonna ask Kevin what that was about for sure. As far as I knew, my dad didn't have a lot of girlfriends in school. Why did this girl look so familiar?

It was definitely weird.


I woke up the morning of finals week with my head swimming. I grabbed a coffee on the way to my exams, not sure how I was gonna get through them. I was pretty sure things were gonna work out, I wasn't exactly a genius but I wasn't an idiot either.

All I wished was for this week to be over so I could just enjoy my vacation. Kentucky seemed like a great idea. I was looking forward to meeting Brian's family and seeing where he grew up, what could possibly go wrong?

Chapter 16


"Don't get too comfortable." - Hercules



"You almost ready there, Nikita?" Brian asked as I laughed at him. He'd taken to calling me various nicknames because we couldn't find one that stuck. I called him Sheriff because he reminded me so much of Woody, but I'd refused him calling me Buzz. I certainly didn't feel like a Space Ranger.

"Nikita? That's a new one." I commented as I threw a bag into the trunk of his car. We would be heading to pick up Kevin on the way, and driving to Lexington, Kentucky....which was pretty far.

I didn't know how I would survive a 13 hour drive with a detour in Orlando. Especially with the cousins. Lord have mercy on my soul.

"Well you gave yourself that name, remember? I'm gonna keep trying until I find one that fits you." he chuckled. I hopped into the car and after we stopped for some gas and snacks, we were on our way.


We picked up Kevin and started to move along but by the time we got into Georgia, I was feeling queasy. I didn't get sick on rides....but for some reason I didn't like cars.

"You okay, buddy?" Kevin asked, looking at me with concern.

I looked back, obviously about to hurl.

"I told you not to eat that breakfast burrito." Brian teased. He didn't tell me shit, he was the one who made them. Microwaved them. Whatever he did to them, I was gonna blow chunks. We pulled over in some town on the border.

"You poisoned it." I moaned as Kevin was inside a Burger King getting seltzer water for my stomach.

"I did not." Brian protested. We got back into the car and Brian turned on the radio, flipping through stations.

"You're all I ever wanted..."

"This is a good song." Brian commented. I made a face. I swear sometimes I wonder why he's my friend. I thought he'd be listening to Garth Brooks or something. Whoever that is.

"NOT THAT!" I yelled, not wanting to be reminded of a band Crystal liked. I was not gonna listen to Nsync. Not unless I wanted to puke again. We listened to another station and Kevin told him to stop.

"Wait, isn't this that Titanic song?" he asked. We kept listening and it was definitely Celine Dion.

"I'm not changing it." Brian said. Nobody argued and halfway through we ended up singing it....badly. The three of us sounded like crap on a stick....but it was still fun.

"This does not leave the car." I told them as Kevin laughed at me.

"You kind of look like Jack." Brian mused at the red light, smirking.

"No, I do NOT." I protested, pouting. I did not want to be compared to Leo whatever-his-name is. Great. Now here come the Titanic jokes. Can we send Celine back to Canada and forget this happened?

I finally fell asleep halfway through Georgia and woke up with my head on Brian's shoulder, Kevin was driving. I guess they must have switched at some point because Brian was leaning on me, fast asleep. It should have felt weird, but I wasn't bothered at all. I put my head back down and when I woke up, we were in Kentucky.

"Wow." I said as I looked out the window. The farm Brian lived on was pretty huge, with white fences and rolling hills. It was beautiful. I definitely wasn't in Tampa any more. Brian yawned and stretched, reaching for his seatbelt.

"Home sweet home." he drawled. I swear, every minute that went by....he was getting more and more country. His accent was coming back.

"Ew, what reeks?"

I wanted to gag when I stepped out of the car. The ground was a bit dusty and covered with gravel, and it smelled like manure. Well, it smelled like shit anyways.

"Nick, be nice." Kevin said as Brian's mom walked over to greet us. She looked really familiar, reminded me a bit of Belle with her dress and apron. It wasn't very cold although I was dressed warm, expecting to be freezing my nuts off.

"Hi, ma." Brian said as she hugged him and kissed his forehead. I looked at my feet, feeling my heart ache a bit for my own mother. I wondered if she was watching me and quickly shook that away. Not here.

"Where's the snow?" I said without thinking.

"It hasn't been cold enough, but I reckon it might snow for Christmas. You never know, hun." Brian's mom said. I almost snickered at "reckon" but Brian nudged me. Jackie led us into the house and it was really nice and roomy unlike at Kevin's.

"Hello, boys." a stern voice said from the doorway. A tall man stood there, eyeing me and Brian.

"Hi, dad." Brian muttered. I could tell he wasn't exactly thrilled to see him. Brian's dad- Harold glared at Kevin and me as if we were not welcome.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce us to your friend?" he asked.

"This is my roommate from college that I told you about. His name's Nick. You already know Kevin." Brian explained.

"I'll show you where y'all be staying." his dad told me.

Harold took me to the room next to Brian's and I set my bag down.

"So you're my son's roommate? Nick, was it?" he asked gruffly. He kinda made me.....no, really made me nervous.

"Yes sir." I said. He kept staring at me, staring at me hard and squinting. I was squirming a bit without stopping myself. After a while he nodded and left the room. Brian came in the room and practically tackled me.

"What do you think of my house?" he asked as I pushed him off. The room was tiny but for some reason I felt at home there. I felt a connection somehow to this place.

"I like it."

"Awesome. I want you to meet Bella. Come on." he said excitedly, pulling me up. I wondered briefly who Bella was until we got out to the fence and he started calling her......well making goat noises. This was the goat I'd seen on his dorm wall all semester.

I swear, I do not know him.

This black and white goat came out and Brian reached down to pet her. I didn't know whether to laugh or not. I knew he loved that goat, but the noises were too much.

"This is Bella. She's prettier than her pictures." he beamed. I bent down to pet her, but she decided to gnaw at my sweatshirt.

"Your goat is trying to eat me." I said, rolling my eyes as he laughed.



That night was the night before Christmas eve and we had fried chicken for dinner. Like real fried chicken. Not from KFC. I was in heaven.

"That was delicious." Kevin said, patting his stomach.

"Son, tomorrow morning you can show Nick how we do things around here. Take him while you do your chores." Harold told us. Kevin frowned and Brian looked offended.

"Dad, come on. Nick doesn't want to see any of that. Plus it is Christmas Eve and we have guests." he protested.

"Nah, it's cool. I don't mind." I smiled.

What was I getting myself into?

"Good. You boys better get to bed then if you want to start early. No excuses." Harold winked. I looked at the clock, it was only nine.

"It's not time for bed yet." I whispered on the way.

"You didn't have to tell him yes. Now we have to do work tomorrow." Brian sighed.

"A little work never hurt anyone." I reasoned.

"This is different, Nick. You'll see. Maybe we will get a snow day. I'm not that lucky though. My dad would have me working on Christmas too if you weren't here." he said, not looking at me. The feeling that Brian didn't like his father was stronger now. We said good night to each other and went to bed, me holding the picture up as I lay awake. The woman was so familiar.

It suddenly hit me. My dad was kissing Brian's mom.

The question was, why?

Another thought occurred to me as I fell asleep that night....

I really hope I don't have to milk any cows tomorrow.

Chapter 16


"That's the trouble with the world. Too many people grow up. They forget." - Walt Disney



I woke up in the backseat of a car. I looked around, confused. I was much smaller, I wasn't 19 anymore. Was everything a dream, and I was still eleven?

"You okay back there, kiddo?"

My heart skipped a beat at my dad's voice, and I smiled.

"He was out for a while. We're almost there, Nicky." my mom said. I felt safe and warm, like nothing bad could happen to me.

Suddenly everything got dark and there was a loud crunch....everything got shaken up and I found myself upside down. I could hear a boy crying but it sounded far away. I felt pain but I wasn't sure where it was coming from....and then there was a flash of light...




"Nick!!!"

My eyelids fluttered open and Brian was hovering over me, looking worried. I felt sweaty and sick to my stomach.

"Nick, you scared the crap out of me." Brian whispered. It was still kind of dark out and I felt like I'd only slept for five minutes. I wiped my eyes and sat up, trembling. It had been a dream.

Only I knew it had really happened.

"Where are we?" I asked shakily.

"My parent's. Nick, are you okay? You were calling for your mom." Brian replied. I looked at the clock, it was five.

Why in god's name were we up at five? It's too damn early for this crap.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a dream." I said. I didn't want to tell him anything about it, I knew he wanted to ask me but I got up and put on my jeans.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up but we need to get up and go start the chores." Brian said. I looked at the clock and hadn't been seeing things, it was definitely five.

"Why are we up this early? God isn't even up yet." I mumbled, trying to flatten my hair as we went down the hall.

"God's always awake." he said bluntly. I ignored him.

I was still yawning as I pulled my Team Mickey hoodie over my head. It was also freezing out, my teeth were chattering as I went over to the barn.

"Morning, boys." Harold said, grinning at us. I took a breath and nearly gagged. Did it smell like shit here all the time?

"You're gonna help milk the cows, Nick. Have you done this before?" Harold asked. I just mumbled and yawned again, not paying attention.

He stood next to the cow, a bucket placed underneath with a stool. He held up his thumb in front of me.

"Let's say this is the cow's udder. You grip it like this and squeeze gently. Not too hard because you'll hurt her."

No way in hell was my hand going anywhere near that cow.

"Excuse me? You want me to put my hand.....WHERE?"

Brian and his dad started to laugh.

"Don't worry, we don't milk the cows like that anymore. We use these machines. The other way would take forever." Harold said. I didn't find it one bit funny. I was tired....cranky and hungry, up before god o clock in the morning.


So a while later I stood there with the pump thingy, staring at the cow and not sure how to approach it.

"Nick, are you afraid?" Brian asked from behind me.

"No."

"Well, the pump isn't gonna get on by itself." he smirked.

I took a step towards it and it looked at me, I thought it was gonna just turn and trample me to be honest.

"Nice cow...." I said cautiously before I got the pump on the cow.

By the time we finished that and some other chores, we were ready to eat breakfast. Surprisingly it tasted amazing.

"So how was it? Did you get to do everything?" Kevin asked.

"I learned today that animals don't like me." I confessed over my scrambled eggs.

Brian brought his plate over and sat down, gigging.

"Nick, you got frightened by the rooster."

"Dude, you don't know what it was thinking."

I was convinced that the large rooster was on steroids and wanted to peck me to death. I'm not big on animals because they can't speak human language. You don't know if they're plotting something or not. Plotting to wreak havoc on the human race.

Maybe I'm just being dramatic.



We took naps for the rest of the day and I woke up first, seeing Brian's mom cooking in the kitchen. She was a really nice woman, but I still wondered about the photo.

"Hi, Nick." she smiled at me. I offered to help set the table.

"Nonsense, you're a guest."

I sat at the table and just watched her cook. It almost felt like having a mom.

"You look just like your father." Jackie commented, suddenly standing in front of me. I pulled at my sweatshirt and debated asking her.

"Did you and him....like....date?"

She looked down at me and I could have sworn her eyes watered.

"We saw each other in college, yes." she said as she poured me a glass of juice. She took a cup of coffee and sat down.

"I found this picture at the frat back at school." I said, holding it out to her. She smiled at it and gave it back to me.

"Yes, that was our first kiss. We saw each other for a few years and broke it off when he met your mother, one of my sorority sisters. That was so long ago...."

I was going to ask her more but Brian came waltzing in, his hair sticking up in all directions.

"Morning sunshine." Jackie said, returning to the breakfast. Brian poured himself some coffee and we sat down to our breakfast, leaving me to think about what his mother had said.




Christmas Eve was pretty uneventful, other than the giant turkey and all the trimmings. I hadn't had a real Christmas in a long time, not since I was eleven.

"What's that stuff?" I asked, seeing the bowl of lumpy red blob on the table.

"Cranberry sauce." Harold replied. I looked at it again, then at Kevin. I always thought it was supposed to be in the shape of a can...

"Nick, this is fresh cranberry sauce." Kevin said.

"You mean it doesn't come in a can all the time?"

"Shoot, no. That's the problem with kids now. Everything is processed these days. They don't eat real food anymore." Harold said, launching into a rant about how commercialism was going to ruin his farm and that was why America was becoming so fat. I wanted to crawl under the table and just die there. So did Brian by the looks of it.

"Nick, it's ok. I knew you wouldn't eat this, so I packed us a can before we left." Kevin said with a wink.

"He should eat what is on the table." Harold commented. The more time I spent with this guy, the more I wondered if he didn't like me or something.

"He's not a kid, Harold." Jackie said sweetly. That ended the conversation and we continued in silence. I helped them clean up and went to bed that night with more questions on my mind than ever.

At least I had Christmas to look forward to.

Chapter 18


"A mother, a real mother is the most wonderful person in the world." - Wendy (Peter Pan)



I snapped awake about seven in the morning Christmas Day....with the urge to piss like a race horse. I ran to the bathroom but when I was finished, I heard Jackie and Harold arguing. I was tired as hell but something told me to listen in.

"I'm telling him today."

"Harold, He doesn't need to know what happened, he's not our son. As for Brian, right now he is better off not knowing. I'm not making Christmas more complicated." Jackie said thoughtfully. They were getting breakfast ready and I wondered what they were talking about me for.

"Complicated? Those boys need to know the truth. I was not raised to be a liar, damn it! It's bad enough Robert Carter was a deadbeat." Harold whispered in angry tones.

"Shhh! I've heard enough. We're not lying to the boys. I just ain't telling them right now. Someday I will, but I don't want you jabbering on to them about it...." Jackie hissed.

I slipped back around the corner, heading towards my room and letting them continue to argue. It was something that could wait until later.


I didn't understand any of it and my head hurt thinking of what Harold had said about my dad. I went back to my bed and slept for another hour before we were all woken up to unwrap presents. I watched Kevin, smirking as he picked up the box I'd gotten him.

"What could it be?" he asked jokingly, pretending to shake it. Me and Brian sat in our T-shirts and boxers on the floor while the three parents sat on the couch. It felt like Christmas back at home.

"A toilet seat?" Kevin exclaimed as I cracked up laughing.

"Yeah, remember I said I would send you one? Well, I couldn't fit it into a mailbox, so I wrapped it up." I joked. I handed him another box and winked.

"This is your real present." I said. I got him a new pocket watch, as his old one had broken recently. He handed me a box as well and I opened it.

It was a Harry Potter book and a watch. I laughed at the book, it had just come out that year and we'd talked about it at Thanksgiving. Kevin and I always had a tradition of giving one fun gift and one that meant something as well. So far we've been pretty good at it. The watch had Mickey on it, of course....the hands pointing at the hour and the minutes.

"Turn it over." Kevin said. On the back were some numbers engraved into the watch. I teared up, it was the day my parents had passed away. I wasn't sad about the gift, I liked that he did that, it really touched me. It hurts to remember them, but I won't forget what happened. I stood up and hugged him, not controlling myself as I cried.

I finally settled down and gave Brian his present. It was a book about farming that he'd had his eye on for a while.

"Wow, this is cool. Thanks, Nick."

I grinned.

"It is tradition to give another present at my house, so here." I handed him another box and it was a Woody bobblehead. It was really cheesy but he laughed at it.

"I'm gonna put this in my car." he chuckled as he put it back under the tree. He reached and got a gift out, it turned out to be some art supplies for class that I needed, and a Buzz Lightyear shirt.

"Thanks, Brian."

"You're always gonna be Buzz to me." he said, patting me on the shoulder. It was then that....as I looked at him, it felt right for him to call me Buzz. I was finally getting comfortable around him as if we were family.

It was really a nice moment until I let out a huge fart. Why do I gotta ruin everything?

"Gross, Nick!" Brian exclaimed, moving away from me and pretending to air out the living room as everyone laughed.




We had ham for christmas dinner this time, with some vegetables and buttermilk biscuits. It wasn't as fancy as Christmas Eve, but we still enjoyed ourselves.

"That was a lovely dinner." Kevin remarked. It really was. For dessert we had a homemade apple pie with ice cream. I swear if I ate like this every day I would not fit into my jeans.

"Have some more, Nick. You're so thin." Jackie said, putting another slice of pie onto my plate. She was such a sweet woman, Brian was lucky. Several times during the trip to Kentucky I wished to trade places but I don't think I'd have it any other way. I liked living with Kevin when I wasn't at school, even though he seemed more like a friend than a parent.

Harold kept eyeing me from across the table, this time it wasn't a glare but a look of remorse, as if he'd felt bad for how he was treating me. I didn't hate the guy at all, just had a feeling he wasn't thrilled about me or Kevin being there. After dinner was over he asked me if I wanted to sit on the porch with him for a bit, so I went.

"Nick, I just wanted to say I was sorry for misjudging you." he drawled. It was chillier than normal outside.

"You don't like me, do you Mr. Littrell?" I asked flatly, pulling my Mickey sweatshirt on.

"Now see here, son. I never said that. When you got here I thought you were some spoiled city kid. But I can see you aint one."

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Okay..."

"I knew of your father back when you was just a baby. There's something you need to know...." Harold started, but Kevin came out onto the porch. He glared at Brian's father and the two of them exchanged looks as if they were speaking through telekenisis.

"What's going on out here?" Kevin asked.

"Just talking." Harold said, and Kevin raised an eyebrow before looking at me. I just shrugged. Mostly because I was cold but also confused, I headed back into the house....the two of them started to argue. Something was definitely fishy.

That night before bed, Brian and I sat in his room, talking.

"Do you ever feel like the grown ups are keeping something from us?" I asked cautiously.

"No, why?" he wondered, sitting Indian style on the bed.

"Everyone's been acting funny."

I debated on telling him what I heard his parents say that morning but thought better of it. He was so happy, there was no reason to cause problems.

"I dunno. So Kevin told me your birthday is in a month?"

"Yeah, the big 2-0." I said. I wasn't excited about my birthday because it was around the time.....the accident happened. We tended not to celebrate it back home, just treating it like any other day.

"So what do you want to do for your birthday?" he asked.

"Nothing special. I'm not big on birthdays." I replied softly. I finally told him I was tired and headed off to bed, leaving him confused and deep in thought. We were leaving the next day to go back home and Brian was coming with us. He didn't feel like spending holidays at home this year, and I couldn't blame him. We would be going back to school before we knew it, and things would go back to normal.

That nagging feeling that something big was coming just wouldn't leave, and I hoped to God it was wrong.

Chapter 19


"The way you laugh is the best." - Pooh (Winnie The Pooh)



For some reason, after Harold had cornered me outside, Kevin told me to pack up. I knew we were leaving tomorrow, just not first thing.

"Bri, do you know why he wants to leave all of a sudden?" I asked as Brian came past my door.

"I dunno, but he and my step dad had a huge fight after you came back inside." he pointed out.

"He says we are leaving right in the morning." I told him. I felt a bit disappointed because I wanted to really talk to Harold and find out what it was he wanted to tell me. If he was going that much out of his way, it had to be important.


"Good, because I can't wait to get out of Kentucky." Brian said thoughtfully.

"I thought you got along with your family."

"To be honest, I do but not lately. They've been fighting a lot and I just don't want to be here. Talk to Kevin...I'm sure he will be ok with me staying with you for a while."


As it turned out, Kevin had already been planning for Brian to spend the rest of break with us. We said goodbye to Kentucky for what I hoped was a long time. I liked the farm, but I decided I wouldn't fit in there. Florida was my home. Plus, it was just too far away from Disney for my liking. On the way back, Kevin drove the first half. I didn't get car sick this time luckily......so far.

"Nick, you all right?" Kevin asked. I flashed back to my dream, the hairs in my arms standing up. Brian noticed how nervous I was, I was shaking again.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied.

"Want to play a game?" Brian asked suddenly. I felt my heart beating quicker than normal.

"Sure."

"I'm thinking of a person." he said. I wasn't even in the mood to play this game.

"Uh....Walt Disney?"

"Dang, you got it. You didn't even try to guess." he drawled. He finally left me alone and I fell asleep. I knew he'd pick Walt Disney....everyone chooses him first. Brian's just not good at that game.

I pretty much slept nearly the whole way back to Orlando. I woke up half through Georgia, like last time...and Kevin was sitting next to me eating chips....loudly.

"Can't you eat quieter? You sound like one of those cows I had to milk."

"Morning, princess." Kevin smirked. He offered me some chips but I declined. All I wanted was a bed to sleep in, I wasn't feeling myself.

Ever since the accident I just did not do cars. Not for long periods of time anyway. Kevin knew this too, but he thought we'd save money by driving. He's such a cheapskate.


Brian and I had a blast while he was at my house. We played basketball, watched cartoons and pretty much acted like 11 year old boys the whole first week. Kevin kept saying how he missed me being so active. One thing still bugged me, I wanted to know what he was keeping from me and Brian. I assumed that it had to do with my dad and Brian's mom....but I swore to myself there was no way.

There was no way me and Brian Littrell were related. I mean....the guy loves goats. But part of me still wondered if we could be related somehow.

I thought about how to get it out of Kevin when New Year's rolled around and we went grocery shopping, just the three of us. I loved hanging out with Brian away from school.

"So what do the two of you do for New Year's?" Brian asked as he pushed the cart around the corner. He stopped and I held the loaf of bread, tossing it.
"Two points." he said.

"Um, not much. We watch the ball drop and eat pizza rolls until one of us barfs."

"Classy."

"What do you guys do back home?" I asked. He tossed a jar of peanut butter in the cart and I took it out, making a face. There had to be something wrong with a guy who ate Skippy.

"What's wrong with that?" he questioned. I took the Skippy and put it back, grabbing for the Peter Pan.

"We only use Peter Pan. Skippy has no flavor." I replied bluntly. He shrugged.

"I don't see a difference." he told me.

"Peter Pan is sweeter, Skippy is bland and Jif is more peanutty tasting. There's a BIG difference."

"Peanutty? Is that a word?"

He gave me the oddest look and we both cracked up laughing, but I was completely serious about the peanut butter. I had it down to a science.

"Back home we don't do anything special. Just my step dad drinks beer and falls asleep in front of the TV." Brian said with no emotion.

"We city boys are gonna show you how to party." Kevin said, appearing next to us using his ninja skills. We ended up getting a ton of junk food for New Years and at Brian's surprise, alcohol.

"As long as you don't go anywhere you can have it." Kevin said. New Year's at the Carter/Richardson's was pretty swanky for our standards. It really wasn't anything other than Kevin and I sitting in our boxers, drinking and pigging out on cocktail wieners. Of course I was only allowed to drink once I turned 16, I just couldn't tell anyone. We only drank at holidays.

Brian was skeptical about the beer at first, he kept looking at his cup as I tossed a pizza roll in my mouth and chewed, careful not to get sauce on myself.

"It isn't gonna kill you, Sheriff." I said, taking a swig of my cup. Being at college had increased my tolerance, not something I had told Kevin. Speaking of which, he was already on his third beer. At this rate he'd be drunk by midnight.

"You're not gonna throw up on my shoes again, are you Buzz?" Brian asked, as I rolled my eyes and drank again. He finally warmed up as me and Kevin were just getting buzzed. No pun intended.

"Who the hell is that on Dick Clark?" Kevin asked as we saw THEM appear on the screen. I was reminded of Crystal as NSYNC showed up performing some song of theirs. I threw a pizza roll, missing Justin Timberlake by a split second. The three of us had fun cat calling and booing the lame acts performing, until we saw someone doing a rendition of 1999 by Prince.

"That is appropriate." I remarked. I was the only one who knew the words. Brian was half passed out and Kevin was singing Raspberry Beret instead of 1999.

"Hey, is your Nintendo Y2K compliant?" Brian asked me. I cracked up at him. People had been making this big thing about the world coming to an end when 2000 hit, but I couldn't think of a better way to spend it with. If we were all gonna die together, I'd be happy with my family.
"I think it is. We could play Mario Kart after the ball drops if the world doesn't implode." I said. When I turned, Brian was sleeping, cuddling with a couch cushion. Kevin and I were awake and the countdown was starting.

"Kevin....come on, the countdown." I whispered.


"50....49....48"


Kevin looked me in the eye and hiccuped. He was wasted. I was a bit disappointed, I was basically alone for the turn of the century.

"26....25....24...."

"Nick...."

I snapped to look away from the countdown, watching the big crystal ball inch closer to its destination.

"Yeah?"


"20....19....18....17"

"I need to tell you some- something." he said, hiccuping.

We were moments away from 2000.

"What is it?"

He was half laying in my lap, as awkward as it was....I wanted him to just spit it out.

"10....9....8...7"

"Kevin what do you need to tell me? Kevin?" I asked, shaking him. He stirred. The crowd on TV was going crazy.

"Huh?"

I wanted to choke him. I shook him again.

"Brian's..."

"3...2....1....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!"

I was watching the TV again, waiting to see if anything would happen....but it didn't. No bombs, no missiles, no apocalyptic destruction.

"Brian's your brother." Kevin whispered suddenly. My eyes went wide.

Maybe I was wrong about the bombs.

Chapter 20


"Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing." - Judy (The Santa Clause)




I blinked at Kevin....not believing what he had said.

"What did you say?" I asked, looking down at him.

"Brian's your brother." he repeated. My heart literally stopped, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Brian? Woody? was my......my brother?

Whoa.

I needed a drink.


I grabbed for the beer in front of me and chugged it, tossing the cup down. I couldn't even watch whoever was performing on TV....I think it was No Doubt.

"Brian?" I shook him but he was fast asleep. I was alone. Both of them had passed out and I was left alone.

I turned off the TV and went outside, looking up at the stars. I could see the fireworks coming from Disney World across town. They were really nice....but so far away. Everything was so far away and confusing. All I wanted was everything to go back to normal.



The next morning Kevin was up before me as if nothing had happened, he was even whistling as he cooked breakfast. I helped set the table but I was pissed at him.

While I was annoyed at him for leaving me alone when the ball dropped, I was pissed at the fact that he threw me together with Brian...let me live with him for three months without telling me he was related to me. In fact, I'd gone my whole life not knowing he'd existed. I felt sick.

"What's wrong?" he asked slowly, putting a plate of bacon on the table. I grabbed a piece and started chewing.

"You lied to me." I snapped. He stared at me in confusion and that's when it hit me, he remembered nothing from the night before.

"Oh, crap. Nick....I was drunk. It must have slipped."

His attitude outraged me even more and I practically laughed at him.

"Slipped? Kevin, why didn't you tell me? He's my roommate. You knew all along and you never told me."

He dropped the frying pan on his foot, splashing grease everywhere as he cursed. Karma was a bitch.

"What are you.....I don't know what you're talking about." he stuttered, hopping slightly as he went to get paper towels. Brian still wasn't up yet and I planned on talking to him. We'd been lied to our whole lives.

"Kevin, I know he's my brother. You blurted it out as it hit midnight. When were you gonna fucking tell me?" I shouted, standing there in my Goofy boxers and a tank top. I didn't care if I wasn't wearing pants at that point. I needed an answer.

"Well, I was gonna tell you. I don't know when....but we did plan on telling you. Sit down." he said, offering me a chair. I found out a lot of shit....that my dad had dated both Brian's mom and my mom around the same time.

Now I know where Brian got the womanizer skills from.

Apparently my dad was married to my mom when he saw Jackie again. They had an affair, and that resulted in Brian when I was a month old. My dad was not told about Brian being his son at all or about his birth, Brian never knew about his real father, and life went on.

I suddenly felt very bad for Brian. I couldn't tell him all that.....his head would explode from all that information. At least not now, anyway.

"So he's my half brother then?" I asked, slightly less angry. Now everything made a bit more sense. Kevin had put us together not for Brian to watch over me, but for us to get to know each other without feeling we had to.

"You can tell him, if you like. Just wait for the right moment. You'll know when that is." Kevin said with a wink, and with that he went back to making breakfast. How was I supposed to eat without blabbing everything?


I suddenly wished my dad was here so I could smack him and to tell him how much of an ass he was.


Brian and I went back to college a couple days later and we immersed ourselves in schoolwork for the first couple of weeks. We didn't see each other a whole lot except before bed and our weekly pizza run on Fridays. I was mostly in the animation lab, we had started to learn basic animation stuff. It was a lot of fun, but I was beginning to get depressed as my birthday inched closer.


"So did you decide what you want to do for your birthday?" Brian asked. I had been kind of avoiding him since I found out we were related, and I think he was catching on to the fact something bothered me because he kept offering to take me places.

"I don't celebrate my birthday." I said flatly, staring down at my half eaten pizza that had long gone cold.

"Nick, what is wrong with you? You've been like this since new year's. We haven't gone anywhere since we started school. Let's go on a trip." he smiled.

"I don't think it is a good idea." I protested. I kept getting this feeling something was going to happen. I never went anywhere around the day of the accident for this reason, the fear that history would repeat itself. I never told anyone but I always thought I was meant to die with my family and that one day Death would find me too. This was why I stayed away from cars.

"Well, I guess these passes to Disney World will go to waste then." Brian told me, holding up the tickets. I hadn't been there in a long time but part of me just couldn't get excited. He looked disappointed and I put on a fake smile for him.



The morning of my birthday me and Brian set out for Orlando, which was an hour and a half away from campus. It was a weekend, but the only free time we had. We were gonna early in the morning but I didn't want to get out of bed, he had to practically drag me. If this was any other day, I'd be waiting by the door before anyone else got up.

"Dude, if you don't get up I'm coming in there after you. I thought you loved Disney." Brian commented, scratching his head. I sighed and got dressed, every second I looked at him I felt more guilty for knowing.

After showering and getting dressed, we headed out. Halfway through our trek he looked at me and noticed how I was slumped against the window, sighing and being all emo.

"Nick, I thought you would be excited....we're going to the happiest place on earth." he said.

"I told you I don't celebrate my birthday. I haven't been to Disney since my parents passed away....I love it there but they died 9 years ago today." I confessed. We hadn't talked about them much since we had met and he seemed to feel horrible that he had made me go somewhere which would make me more depressed.

"Shoot, I'm sorry. I'm so insensitive. Do you want to go back home? We could always hang out in the dorm and get Chinese food or something." he said.

"Nah, you already spent the money. I'm just being emo, Bri. I'm sure once we get there I will cheer up. I can't wait to see the new rides. I've been keeping up on their website." I smiled to make him feel better. As much as I didn't want to go, he had gone through all this trouble so I decided to suck it up and deal with it.

But one thing I decided in the back of my mind.....I was gonna tell Brian before our trip was over for sure.

I went back to watching the window...it was a nice day, it seemed like everything was gonna be just fine.

Then why did I feel like going to Disney was going to be one giant mistake?

Chapter 21


"With you here, I know that life is much more fun." - Pooh (Winnie The Pooh)



"Which park are we going to?" I asked. Disney is made up of four parks total: Epcot, The Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and Disney's MGM Studios.

"Well, since we are older, I thought you'd like MGM Studios. We are gonna take a tour of the Animation Studio and do some rides." Brian said. I had a genuine smile on my face this time....I was kind of disappointed we didn't go to the Magic Kingdom but this would be just as good. He laughed when he saw the large smile and I hurried to get out of the car.

"This is awesome. I can't believe we're seeing the animation studio...." I said happily as we walked through the gate, going into a long explanation of why I wanted to be an animator. Brian listened intently and I almost forgot about the secret I was keeping from him.....almost.

Since we were there we saw the Beauty and the Beast show, it was only a half hour long and by the end I was humming Be Our Guest, along with Brian. He was amused at how much of a kid I'd turned into....I was no longer acting 20.

"Kevin deserves a gold medal for taking care of you all this time, I can hardly keep up." Brian said, running to catch up with me in one of the gift shops. I didn't buy anything, I was just looking around mostly.

"I tell him that all the time, that's nothing new." I agreed with a small laugh. We got ice cream and there it was looming in front of us.....one ride I was finally big enough to go on.

The Tower Of Terror.

I turned to Brian and motioned up at it, I almost laughed because the color drained from his face.

"No way." he said.

"Why? It'll be fun. Don't be a chicken, Sheriff." I took his hand and started pulling him towards the line, which was pretty long. As we got closer inside, the ominous music started and Brian became more and more nervous.

"What is your deal?" I asked. He was literally shaking, his face pale.

"I'm afraid of heights. Can't we skip this ride? I can't do it."

Well I'll be damned. I found something Farm Boy is afraid of.

"Oh no, it's my birthday and you're coming with me. We are gonna be strapped in and everything, there's nothing to worry about." I told him. He tried to sneak past me but I wasn't about to ride this alone. We boarded the ride which was to resemble a broken run down elevator, with two rows of seats. Brian was shaking next to me and I nudged him.

"We'll be fine." I said. The rest of the passengers loaded and the ride started. The ride rose up and up, we could see outside and Brian was starting to freak out already. We hung there until finally it released, dropping us as we both screamed. I felt my stomach try to go in my throat. We finally got off and the two of us wobbled out, the sensation of falling still tingling.

It was time to take a break and buy some souvenirs. Brian ended up buying me a authentic Indiana Jones fedora after I mentioned I'd always wanted one. I spent the way to the next ride imitating Harrison Ford and pretending to save us from the Nazis. Brian cracked up and I wondered if it would be the right time to tell him as we sat down to have burgers. I kept thinking of how to tell him but each time I rehearsed it in my head, it came out wrong.

"Dude there's a Star Wars ride here. We have to go." Brian said, looking at the brochure and grinning like an idiot. I almost choked on my burger.

"You mean you like Star Wars?" I asked in surprise.

"Like it? I LOVE it. As a kid I wanted to be Luke so bad. I used to have everything....bed sheets and toys...."

I shouldn't have asked. While I was kind of impressed that he was secretly a geek like I was.....it just reminded me more of the fact we shared DNA.

"....and then there's the part where Princess Leia tells Han she loves him and he says "I know"....." Brian finished as we got to the ride. Star Tours was fun, it was yet another simulator but it took you to the moon of Endor. I liked it because I loved Star Wars myself. After the ride we both got lightsabers and kept hitting each other with them, not caring anyone saw us.

Once again I thought over how to tell him.

"Look! You can get pictures with Buzz and Woody!" a kid shouted, distracting me.

I grinned at Brian and we both did it. Nice birthday souvenir, and future blackmail all rolled into one.

"Don't show anyone that." Brian commented as if he were reading my thoughts.

We walked to the Animation Courtyard and saw the line for the Animation Studio tour, something I'd looked forward to all day. I was positively giddy while in line, explaining to Brian how they make the films. Although I knew a lot the tour would still be tons of fun.

"Looks like it might rain." Brian commented. Spontaneous rainstorms in Florida were normal....it could be sunny then raining like hell the next so I shrugged it off. The two of us were gonna be inside anyway, so I ignored it.

"Dude, this is what I'm gonna be doing in a few years." I said, after we watched a short film that told us about the animation process.

"That was pretty cool. You really want to do this, don't you?" Brian asked. The two of us moved onto where you could actually see the animators working at their drafting tables.

"Yep. Ever since I was a kid. My parents were really supportive, they put money away for me to go to animation school when I got older....but I ended up going to college first because I had the art scholarship. My teachers said I had lots of potential."

That was the damn truth. My art teacher said if I didn't become an animator by the time I was 30 she'd come kick my butt and I accepted the challenge.

After yet another film we exited the tour with me humming A Whole New World under my breath until Brian nudged me. A few rides later, A clap of thunder and people running to get dry signaled our day was going to get cut short.

"Looks like we have to call it a day." Brian told me. Today had been so perfect I didn't want it to end. The rain was coming down really bad as we left and pulled out onto the highway....it was dark and hard to see.

"I can hardly see the road. We should pull over for a while or something until it stops." Brian said, turning off onto the shoulder. It was pouring so much that we couldn't see across the street, the car lights were our only indication that we were on a road to begin with. Lots of cars were sliding and we sat there watching them to pass time.

"Brian.....I just want to say thank you for today. It was really fun." I said, breaking our silence.

"I'm glad you had fun, cause so did I. I feel like you and I have gotten really close the last few months, almost like family." Brian told me. My heart hurt at the sound of "family".

"That's really nice of you to say."

"I mean it. You're like a brother but better." Brian said with a smile. I was bursting, I had to tell him now. The guilt was killing me.

"Brian, I-"

A loud crunch silenced me, I never finished my sentence.....I was tossed into the air and everything turned upside down.....I heard Brian screaming next to me. I felt something hit me in the head and then there was nothing.

I was met with darkness.

Chapter 22


"I wasn't worried at all. Except for the part I was worried, of course." - Pooh (Winnie The Pooh)



Not Brian.

Not this again. Please, not again.


I was scared when I woke up in the emergency room alone, my head hurting as much as it did after I'd gotten drunk at the frat party. All I could think about was Brian. Was he okay? Would he blame me for this?

I blamed myself anyway, so it didn't matter. It didn't seem I was hurt very badly, just my head only. I also had a couple of scrapes but I was alive. For a fleeting moment I hated myself for this. I didn't deserve to be here. It was all my fault.

"You're awake." Kevin said, but I didn't hear anything else. I kept hearing my parents voices. My chest felt tight and I wanted to cry, but I held it in.

"Yeah, I guess."

"I'm glad you're okay."

I didn't say anything but he took the chair next to mine as my head sunk into the pillow which was nowhere near comfortable. I hated hospitals, they always reminded me of death.

"Where's Brian?" I asked, still not looking at him. I remembered getting flipped inside the car and not much else.....how was it I was okay?

"Brian is pretty banged up-"

I started to shut him out again, the realization hitting me. This was my fault. Brian was hurt and it was my fault.

I wanted to run away like I'd done after high school. That's why I went to Tampa....I wanted away from every thing and everyone that reminded me of my parents. I suddenly knew how Simba felt when Mufasa died.

"Nick?" Kevin said, and I felt his hand on my arm. I shook my head and blinked, my eyes watering.

"It's m-my f-fault. I killed them.....everyth-thing is m-my f-fault." I stammered.

He stared at me, stunned as I began to cry. I was shaking as he moved in to hold me against him, the tears splashing onto his shirt. I cried and cried, heavy sobs drowning everything else out. Nine years of bottled up emotions spilled over.

"Nick you know that isn't true." he whispered, rubbing my back.

"If it wasn't my birthday we wouldn't have been there. Now Brian's hurt because of me. I didn't want to go there and look what happened." I replied. I felt lower than low....I wanted to run, do anything but be here right now.

"Sometimes things happen that we have no control over. We talked about this, remember? Even your therapist did. She said you shouldn't blame yourself like this." Kevin said. After he finally calmed me down, the nurses checked me over and I was getting released from the hospital. I kept thinking about Brian.

"I want to see him." I said suddenly as Kevin signed my release papers. I had minor injuries, a sprained wrist and a concussion with some small scrapes. Nothing too bad after all.

"We will go see him in a bit, okay kiddo? Just hang tight."


The walk to Brian's room seemed to take forever but we made good time. I felt dizzy but I didn't care, I wanted to make sure he was okay. There was no way I could forgive myself if anything serious happened to him. When I went into the room, he looked like he was sleeping but he opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"Buzz." he whispered, and I went to the bed to hug him....but his leg was in a cast, hanging up to elevate it.

I didn't even care at this point that he called me Buzz. Now that I knew he was okay, he could call me whatever the hell he wanted. As I stood there I noticed he was watching an episode of Friends on the TV in the room.

"I'm so sorry," I said. Kevin was standing in the doorway but after a while he left the two of us alone.

"It ain't your fault." he drawled, looking down at the hospital gown he was wearing.

"Yes it was....."

"I'm not blaming you. There was nothing you or me could have done about what happened." he said, interrupting my speech I'd planned in my head on the way to his room. We sat there talking and comparing our injuries, he had a broken leg and a lot of bruises but would be just fine. When I mentioned my concussion, Brian stated that he always knew I was hard headed. We laughed and watched Friends together for a bit. He seemed to be happy and not upset with me at all for anything. I was grateful but still felt guilty, as if I'd taken a bat to his leg and broken it myself.

"I remember this episode....this is the one where Phoebe finds the thumb in her soda." I said.

"Nick, you were gonna tell me something right before the car hit us, weren't you?" Brian remarked, and then my chest sunk. I was going to tell him what I'd been meaning to all day, and I wasn't prepared for this now.

I opened my mouth but Kevin said we would have to go home and not to strain ourselves too much today.

"I will see you tomorrow then." Brian said, with an air of disappointment. I headed for the door and he had a sad smile on his face as he watched me go. I didn't like leaving him alone in the hospital, it made me uneasy.

"Tomorrow."

As Kevin and I walked to the car, I couldn't help but wonder if he'd kept me from telling him on purpose.

"Why did we have to leave? Visiting hours aren't over yet." I commented.

"Look. I know you want to tell him he's your half brother, but now is not a good time. You've both just been through a rough accident....I don't think it is good for him." Kevin said, starting the engine up. I immediately got pissed, how long did they plan on keeping this from him?

"Brian doesn't know who his fucking father is, and you want me to lie? I can't look at him knowing the truth. You all have been lying to him his whole life and it is not fair." I shouted. My head was throbbing again, I was not liking the car ride at all.

"Don't talk to me like that, Nick. Brian's been through a lot. You think I want to keep this from him?"

"Sorry, but that is bullshit. Jackie lied to him too, and Harold tried to be honest with us. At least he had the balls to say something. Brian deserves the truth." I said angrily, slamming the door when we got home. Kevin stood there watching me in surprise, I'd never spoken to him like that in my life.

"Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to be my friend instead of the parent I needed, things wouldn't be like this Kevin. Maybe I wouldn't have run off to fucking Tampa." I shouted.


This time he didn't run after me, he just let me go because he knew I was right....I went to my room, laid down on my bed and screamed into my pillow to drown it out.

Tomorrow I was going to tell him, even if it killed me.

Chapter 23



"The truth sounds insane sometimes, but that doesn't mean it's not the truth." - Linguini (Ratatouille)



Brian got out of the hospital the next day and we went to pick him up. He was in a wheelchair so it would be a bit easier to get around campus. He didn't seem too upset and insurance would fix the car, which was really lucky.

"How you doing, Sheriff?"

"I feel okay, besides my leg. Can't wait to get back to the dorm and sleep for a bit." Brian said. I opened my mouth but Kevin glared at me and I thought better of it. I knew if I was gonna tell Brian, it had to be when we were back at school when nobody was around to stop me.

We drove back to college Sunday afternoon after Brian got out of the hospital, he was in a pretty good mood.

"Brian....I went and got our stuff out of the car. I saved this for you." I said, handing him the bobblehead I'd gotten him for Christmas. He smiled and put it on his night stand, and I helped him into bed.

"Thanks, Nick. You know we are very lucky to be here right now....I'm glad we are okay." he told me.

"Me too."

"I meant what I said, I think of you like a brother."


That lump in my throat appeared and I wanted to tell him so badly....but something kept me from it. Brian's cell going off jarred me from my thoughts.

"Hey, can you pick that up for me?" Brian asked. I handed him the phone, kicking myself for chickening out again.

"Hi, ma. Yeah....we just got in. I'm doing fine."

I laid back onto my bed, listening to the conversation and feeling sick to my stomach that his mother was lying to him. Flat out lying....they all were and he didn't even know. I wish I'd never found out.

"Yeah, Nick is okay too. The car's a little jacked up though."

I almost coughed. Jacked up? We were hanging upside fucking down!


He got off the phone with his mother and eyed me, I hate when he does that.


"Is something bothering you?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope." I lied.

"Okay, fine. Shut me out like you always do.....I tell you you're like a brother and you shut me out. What kind of friendship is that? How can I trust you?" he snapped. I sat there in silence, there wasn't anything I could say.

"Nick, I've been taking your little hissy fits and outbursts but now it's time someone told YOU. You can't keep shutting people out and pretend everything is fine when it's NOT! I'm your friend..."

"Brian, come on. This isn't like you." I blurted out.

"No, YOU come on. I've had enough. You and I just went through a goddamn car accident and you still won't tell me what's been eating you for the past few weeks. Ever since we got back from Kentucky you've been weird." he insisted. I was near my boiling point, everything was threatening to spill over.

"Brian, I can't do this right now." I sighed.

"We need to talk about this. I've never had a problem with you before. What was my step dad harassing you about? Can I fix it? I just want to help you."

"I don't need help." I hissed, getting annoyed.

"You're a asshole, you know that?" he shouted.

"I'm an asshole??? I'm an....I'm an asshole? You can't be fucking serious right now....if you knew what I've been holding in for the last few weeks-" I shot back at him. He shifted on the bed, and I just let him sit there. He was supposed to keep the leg elevated but I ignored it.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"I don't think you can handle it." I said. He looked at me like a puzzled cat, and I turned on the TV. An episode of Frasier was on but I wasn't really interested.

"I can if you just talk to me." he said.

I looked at him but I just couldn't get myself to tell him. As much as I wanted to, as bad as it was that I held it in, I couldn't.

"Forget it." he said, turning away and looking annoyed. He tried to get comfortable and fall asleep, the two of us in silence the rest of the day.



Things got really awkward between us after that. He pretty much stayed to himself and while I was left to my thoughts....it really bothered me. He was right. Classes were wearing both of us out again by the time February started, and we fell back into the studying routine. I wish I could say we partied like normal college kids but we weren't really into that kind of crowd like the Pikas were. I saw AJ around campus occasionally. He had invited me to a few parties but I wasn't sure I wanted to deal with Howie or the others anymore.

"Dude, come on. You and Brian can't sit in your dorm every weekend. Just ask him to come." AJ said, nudging me. I nodded and went back to the room to find Brian laying in bed.

"Hey, how you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm ok today. Just tired."

"AJ invited us to a party again. I think we should take him up on that. We've been sitting here angry at each other over the stupid accident." I suggested with a chuckle. He didn't seem amused, he picked up his Woody bobblehead and flicked it so it bounced up and down.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you. I just feel like I can't trust you because you're so private." he said finally, sighing.

"When you said you're like a brother to me it really meant a lot. I should have told you that."

"I did mean it."

"What if I told you we were really related?" I asked. He really stared at me, almost disbelieving.

"I'd say you've been smoking or something, haven't you? How could that be possible?" he laughed. I didn't laugh and he looked at me again as if I had grown a second head.

How cool would that be, if I just sprouted a another head out of nowhere?

"My dad and your mom dated and he had an affair with her." I said. His mouth dropped, I mean if this were a cartoon it would have made that clang noise and everything.

"You're kidding."

"Nope. You're my half brother."

"That's bullshit. Why didn't anyone tell me all this time? When did you find out?" he asked, sounding kinda pissed.

"New Year's eve. Kevin got drunk and told me after you passed out. I was just as shocked as you were."

Brian just looked at me again, and after that I knew things were really going to be different between us....it was hard to wrap his head around it but I would help him through it.

We would help each other.

Chapter 24


"Don't worry, buddy. I'm here for you. Everything's gonna be okay." - Timon (The Lion King)



Brian seemed okay at first, I mean....well, he took it better than I expected him to.

"I'm your brother? Are you sure?" he asked me again, looking at me like he was trying to see if my pupils were dilated.

"Dude, I'm not high."

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. I dug into my backpack for the photo AJ had given me.


"Look, this is your mom and my dad during college. They dated. My dad was a real player then." I chuckled. He shook his head as he handed it back to me, it didn't look like he believed me.

"Maybe I should ask my mom. If this was true, they would have told me by now."

I was afraid he would say that. I didn't want him to find out his mom had been lying to him. He took out his phone and tried calling her, but nobody was home to my relief.

"Well, that solves that," he said sadly, putting down his phone.

"So how about AJ's party? We haven't gone to one in forever." I suggested.

"I guess we could. We're not doing anything else today." he said. I wheeled him over to the frat house and AJ greeted us.

"Nice to see you out and about," he said, handing us both beers. Brian didn't hesitate this time, he started his right away. I watched him as the party went on, he was throwing them back like he'd been drinking for years and it worried me.

"Bri, maybe you should slow down." I suggested.

"I can stop whenever I want." he snapped, wheeling away from me.

I sighed, this was not gonna end good.


I drank as well, but moderately so there would be someone to watch Brian. I didn't need to lose my pants again. Halfway through our time at the frat house, AJ came over and handed me another drink, patting me on the back.


"Wow, Brian's loosened up since he was here last." he laughed, drinking his third beer as I started my fourth. I wasn't feeling anything yet.

"I haven't seen Howie around." I commented, noticing his absence. Come to think of it, I hadn't seen him since we came back from winter break and that was odd.

"Howie? Oh he's gone. I kicked him out after what he did to you. He was so embarrassed that he changed colleges. He is starting in the University of Miami next semester."

I full on belly laughed after that and to my horror I saw Brian....in his drunken state reach for his cell phone as it rang

"Hey, ma."

"Brian!" I called but he was already on the phone with Jackie.

"No ma, I'm not drunk." he slurred.

I scrambled to get to the phone but he was already asking her about what I had told him. Within a few moments his attitude had changed. He was full on shouting into the phone.

"FUCK YOU! No. Fuck you. Why would you fucking lie to....lie to me?" he demanded. He'd put her on speaker because he was about to drop the damn thing.

"Brian, honey I didn't mean to lie. We wanted to tell you."

"No....you lied to me AND Nick. How come I can't trust my own family to tell me the truth?"

"Brian, give me the phone." I said sternly, but he turned away from me like a child. This was suddenly a role reversal. He'd been taking care of me, and now it was my turn to take care of him so to speak. I didn't want him to feel betrayed by his mother, although I privately agreed.

"What are you going to do with my phone?" he asked drunkenly, pouting. I almost laughed but knew better with his emotional state this way.

"I'm....I'm uh,,,gonna charge it for you. The battery is pretty low." I said quickly. AJ whispered to me to take him back to the dorm. Brian was a mess the whole way back, half crying and saying he couldn't trust his mother.

"Brian, please. Calm down."

"You're a good man, Buzz." he mumbled stupidly.

"Thanks, Woody."

"I don't want to go back to the farm." he whispered as I tried to wheel him to the shower, he was still mumbling as I carried him, his head on my chest.

And he's fucking drooling on me. Gross!

"You don't have to go there." I said, turning on the water as I took off his shirt and pants.

"I've been wanting to move out anyway....y'know...maybe change majors. I don't like the farm. You and I could get a place." he continued. I didn't know how we would afford something if we didn't have jobs. I had a job during high school but right now I was living off what I'd saved up. I wasn't ready to move out of Kevin's yet.

"Sounds great but I'm not ready to live on my own yet."

A light snoring told me he fell asleep but I turned the water on, he flailed and

"JESUS CHRIST!"

I doubled over, cupping my boys....damn he has a strong kick. He kicked me with his good leg. I sat on the floor with my nuts yelling at me.

Not how I wanted to end the day, but I guess payback's a bitch. Hopefully Brian and I could talk for real once he'd sobered up a bit.

Maybe by then I would be out of this bathroom, because I can't see myself moving any time soon.

"Nick, I don't feel so good."


My eyes snapped open but my balls hurt so much I couldn't get up. I was immobilized.

Please don't do it Brian. For the love of Mickey!

I was suddenly covered in puke.

UGH.

See what I mean?

Chapter 25


"Although it hurts, I'll try to smile." - Ratigan (The Great Mouse Detective)



After Brian's little breakdown things seemed to get a bit better. As the weeks passed he healed and was walking again, but he wasn't talking to his mother like he used to. I felt guilty but he always reassured me it was for the best.


The whole of February was pretty much dedicated to studying. I wondered if we were the only ones on campus who just studied all the time, there were a lot of parties but we never went. I didn't want Brian to be near any alcohol while he was in this state. Brian's birthday came and went as well, he spent it sleeping mostly and refused to go anywhere. His mother had called but he didn't answer.

By the end of February we both were tired already and still had a few more months to go of school before summer. This was my first year of college, how was I gonna pull off three more?

"You and Brian need to get out and have some fun. Can't study all the time." Kevin said when I called him up.

Wait, Kevin's telling me to have fun? KEVIN?

"Since the accident Brian doesn't really want to go anywhere anymore." I told him. I thought about Brian back in the dorm, sleeping on our days off instead of hanging out.

"Spring Break is coming up, isn't it? We can take him on our fishing trip." Kevin suggested.

"I dunno. Aren't me and Brian a bit old for that? Everyone our age is going to Miami for Spring Break."


I actually didn't know if they were, I just didn't feel like going fishing this year.

"I keep forgetting you're a college kid now. I'm sure we will think of something. I'll pick you up when break starts." Kevin said, and that was the end of that. I wasn't particularly looking forward to the trip but at least we'd be away from school for a bit. I went back to the dorm where I found Brian tearing up his Farmer's almanac.

"Howdy, Sheriff." I said tentatively. He glared at me and kept shredding the book. Yikes.

I didn't say anything, I went over to my bed and dumped my bag onto it. I had some drawings to finish for class the next day.

"My mom called again." he said after we were both quiet for a while.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going back there." he drawled without emotion. I looked up at him in surprise.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean I'm not going back to Kentucky. I'm staying in Florida and I'm changing majors. We talked about this before."

If by before, he meant when he was drunk and puking on me....I would agree.

"You remember that?"

"Nick, I may have been half wasted but I was dead serious. I'm not going back to the farm. I told my mother already." he snapped. I fiddled with the bottom of my shirt because I was getting antsy with all this tension. I hated when he was pissy like this.

"Brian....what are you going to do when we are off for summer break? You don't have anywhere to go, do you?" I replied.

"Look, I have a plan. I could crash with you and Kevin. Orlando isn't far from school and I can just hitch a ride back to campus in the fall."

I somehow didn't think Kevin would be so into the idea of Brian just ditching Jackie. Granted, he had a right to be peeved, but this wasn't the answer.

"You'd have to ask him. I can't answer for Kevin anyways. He called me today by the way." I said softly. He put down the remnants of his book and looked up.

"I suppose my mom told him what happened."

"I dunno anything about that, but he wanted to know if you'd like to spend Spring Break with us. That is, if you didn't have anything better to do-"

"That sounds like a good idea."

I was half expecting him to protest going on any sort of trip. Brian smiled for the first time I'd seen in weeks, and it felt really good.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we have been working hard. I think we need a break. Where are we going, South Beach? That's where everybody else is going." he grinned.

"Something like that." I smiled back.

He was in for a surprise.


The night before Spring Break started, Kevin came and picked us up at the dorm. We went to Orlando and slept before heading out in the morning.

"How far is it to Miami?" Brian asked.

"I dunno, probably two hours or so." Kevin told him. I didn't want to break it to Brian that we wouldn't be seeing hot girls in bikinis, but large mouthed bass or trout. Kevin didn't seem to catch onto why Brian asked this either. He just drove, whistling to songs on the radio.

"What kind of music is this?" I asked. Some guy was asking if he was sexual. I raised my eyebrow. Who wrote this stuff?

"Change the station!" Brian shouted from next to me.

Thank God me and Brian have the same preference in radio stations.


"I can't wait to see the beach. I heard there's topless beaches there." Brian said, and I saw Kevin looking at me from his mirror. I shrugged. Brian talked about Miami like it was his job and he was selling us a condo there.

"You practicing to be a travel agent or something?" Kevin chuckled.

"He is changing majors...." I said and Brian laughed.

"Nah, I might get into teaching. I don't think farming is for me. What did our dad do, Nick?"

I looked at him in surprise but I smiled. It felt good to hear him call him our dad. I didn't mind sharing.

"Uh, he worked in restaurant management. My parents owned a diner." I said.

I closed my eyes as Brian babbled.....remembering how I went to work with them once or twice, the customers were always so friendly.

I missed the Belgian Waffles and pancakes....I hadn't had them in a long time. Kevin took over owning the place, but it just wasn't the same without them. My dad had bought the diner because he met my mother there. I loved that story.

It wasn't long before I fell asleep, licking my lips for stray crumbs I dreamed up as we headed for our destination. Part of me wished we were going to Miami, but fishing would be just as good.

At least I hoped that it would.

Chapter 26


"It's good to be bad." - Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmatians)



"Wakey, wakey." someone said, poking me.

I yawned and stretched, my back hurting like that time I went on Space Mountain. I opened my eyes, but this wasn't the campground we usually stayed at. It was a hotel parking lot.

"Dude, come on! We gotta go check in." Brian called.

I saw some girls in bathing suits walking past as we went inside. This was not where we should be. I ignored them and ran after Kevin, Brian lingered and waved at them. He was going to go and talk to them until I grabbed him and pulled him away.

"Kevin?"

Kevin was at the front desk checking us into our rooms. He didn't seem to notice we weren't at the right place.

"Yes, Nick?" he asked, after signing some papers.

"Where are we?"

"Miami. I thought we could change things up this year." he smiled, picking up his bags and the room keys. It was a pretty nice hotel we were staying in. Nothing overly expensive, but there were some college kids staying there. Brian and I had a room together, but it was more like seperate rooms....separated by a wall. Kevin's room was two doors down.

"How did you talk Kevin into coming here?" Brian asked, jumping into his bed. He seemed happy so I figured it was okay.

"I didn't. We were supposed to go fishing like we used to. I don't know what we are even doing here. This isn't his kind of place." I said, shrugging. I was kind of eager to get down to the pool, though. Our room faced it and it looked very inviting.

"Maybe we should go check out the pool." I suggested.

"I like that idea."


Me and Brian changed into our swim trunks and headed down by the pool, it was a really nice day. He took off his shirt and dove right in.....I was a bit jealous that he was more in shape than me. I wasn't fat, but I didn't have big, muscular arms like he did. I finally took off my shirt and jumped in the pool as well, we swam for a while before getting out and laying on the lounge chairs, talking while we tanned.

"We haven't seen you two before." a couple of girls said as they walked over to us. Brian looked at me and winked.

Here goes the womanizer again.

"Oh, we're not from around here." Brian said innocently. I moved onto my back and tried to tan my stomach as they were talking...I was horrible talking to girls on my own.

"Well, we like your friend." the second girl said, and they were both staring at me. I sat up, feeling self conscious. They looked like they were over 21.

They were also twins. Hot twins. I almost looked around, I couldn't be this lucky. Could I?

"That's Nick and I'm Brian. We go to college in Tampa...we're just here on vacation."

"Nice. I'm Lana and this is Laura."

I grinned stupidly at them.

I kinda stopped listening after that and let my eyes wander, until they left. They looked just as good walking away. Damn it.

"We just got invited to a party tomorrow. How the hell do you get girls without talking to them? Can you teach me that trick?" Brian laughed. He seemed as excited as I was.

"I didn't do anything special." I said, putting on my shirt again. We went back to our room and laid down for a while before Kevin got us for dinner.



"What is this place? I thought we were going out for Chinese?" I asked.

"You need to experience more, broaden your taste in food."

There was raw fish on my plate. At least I think it was fish. It looked like little tires.

"Is it cooked?" Brian asked, poking at it. Kevin shook his head and just started eating. I shrugged and grabbed one, tossed it in my mouth and chewed.

Not bad.

"What is this, anyway?" I asked.

"Sushi. It's good for you, I thought you needed a break from regular old Chinese." Kevin grinned. Brian decided to try his and he wasn't really into it, but I really liked the yellowtail and california rolls, plus the shrimp was pretty damn tasty. I even got brave and had eel.


When we got back to the hotel, Brian and I went back to the room and I dug out my Nintendo, we played a couple rounds of Mario Kart before bed. Kevin was gonna take us snorkeling the next day, something he knew I'd love to do. I have a scuba diving license but I hadn't done it in quite a while.

"Tomorrow is gonna be fun. I wonder if we could ditch snorkeling and just go meet the girls." Brian said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"I don't know about the party, Bri. Kevin won't like us sneaking off."

"Don't wuss out on me now." he said, standing in the doorway. He and I said goodnight to each other and I rolled over, nervous about tomorrow but hoping for the best.




Snorkeling was amazing, the water was perfect and I couldn't ask for better weather. Brian even had fun, but I could tell he was thinking about his family, he was never good at hiding his feelings like I was.

Okay, I guess we have that in common.


We got back to the hotel when the sun was setting and Kevin started asking some questions.

"What are you guys doing tonight?"

I looked at my Mickey watch, we were supposed to meet the girls in ten minutes.

"Probably hang around the room." I said.

"Why don't you both go explore or something? We're getting up early to go fishing tomorrow, so don't be out too late." Kevin smiled.

"Sounds like fun."

"Don't wait up." Brian told him. I nudged him hard and we both left, heading up a few floors to where the girls were.


I was a bit disappointed with the "party"....it turned out to be me, Brian....two girls and a bunch of alcohol.

What the hell were their names? All I remember is one girl had long legs and the other had boobs.

Legs answered the door and a few drinks later, things got going. I didn't really want him around alcohol again, but farm boy seemed to be doing okay.

"So, Nick....do you like tequila?" Legs asked me.

"Uh....sure...."

"Laura." she giggled. Strangely enough, the alcohol seemed to be making me less of a idiot in front of the girls. I felt more confident. I also didn't realize how much I drank, I was just having a good time. Until I didn't feel so well.

"You okay, Nick?" Laura asked when she noticed me looking a bit sickly. I had to admit I liked her kind of mothering me a bit, it had been a long time since anyone took care of me like this.

"Not really. I like hanging with you but I think my stomach is acting up." I mumbled. I got up but the room began to spin like the teacup ride.

"Let me walk you back to your room." she offered.

"I can do it." Brian said, but he was just as wobbly.

Laura giggled and ended up walking both of us. I could hear Brian puking in the bathroom but I just wanted to lie down.

"I can stay with you if you like." Laura offered. We ended up laying in bed together and she kissed me on the cheek. It felt different with her than Crystal. After I was feeling better, I sat up and she headed for the door.

"Where you going?" I asked.

"Back to my room. I can't go through with this." she said finally, looking guilty.

"What?"

"My sister Lana and I have a bet going to see who could get you in bed. I feel so embarrassed now because you turned out to be such a nice guy." she confessed. I was shocked. No girl since Crystal had paid attention to me.

"It's early yet. How about we order a pizza and watch a movie or something?" I asked, smiling. Again, I think the booze gave me some confidence.

It was going to be a good night.

Chapter 27


"Who says you have to grow up?" - Walt Disney


I woke up feeling very hungover and smelling pizza.....in fact my hand was laying on a pizza box.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

My eyes snapped open, it was morning and Kevin was here to take us fishing. Fuck.

"Nick?"

Shit. Shit.

I got out of the bed and tripped in the sheets, falling face first into the night stand and knocking over the lamp.

"Goddamn it!"

"You ok in there?"

Yes. Peachy fucking keen. I stubbed my damn toe. A flurry of curses came from my mouth and I sighed.

"Uh....yeah." I said, taking the pizza box off my head and untangling myself. I had bits of sausage in my hair, not a cute look. Kevin said he'd come back soon and I stumbled to the bathroom, on my way there I stepped in something sticky. It was maple syrup and half of a waffle. I stared at it in confusion before blinking and looking at the room again. There were two pizza boxes, but I saw plates scattered around. What the hell did I do last night?

"Mmm, you're awake."

Oh fuck. Laura was laying in the bed naked. That's when I looked down and realized I was naked too. She stared at me and smiled, I grabbed a pillow to cover myself and I blushed.

"Um, yeah." I said, smiling and laughing awkwardly.

"I had fun last night....I was hoping we could have a repeat performance. Morning sex is the best." she said. I just stared and started stuttering like an idiot.

"Haha, about that. My uncle is coming to take me and my friend fishing. I'm gonna shower but I will be back later."

"Lana and I are checking out in two hours, I won't be here." she said, putting on her clothes. We talked for a few minutes and once again I was a nice guy, which I'm pretty sure was girl code for "you're horrible in bed".

"Oh, sorry to hear that." I told her, still holding the pillow. She leaned in and kissed me, still smiling.

"Come find me if you're ever in Pensacola." she whispered.

I think Brian's womanizing skills rubbed off on me.


After I showered, Brian was waiting for me. I strolled out, drying my hair and acting like nothing was wrong. He was smirking, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

"Dude, what?"

"What do you mean what?" he laughed.

"You're giving me that look." I said, putting on my sneakers and tying them. We met up with Kevin and he continued the conversation as we waited in the car.

"So?"

"Brian I don't know what you're trying to ask me." I said finally.

"Did you and Laura have sex?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at him. He knew I wasn't a virgin so why was he making a big deal? It's not like I did anything special.

"No."

"So what's this then? Is this like Cinderella and we will have to find the woman who it fits?" he asked, twirling a red thong on his finger. My eyes bugged out and I jumped on him, trying to get it from him from across the car seat.

"Fuck you!"

"Dude get off me!"

"Ow, quit shoving you prick!"


"Are you two finished back there or should I wait?" Kevin sighed, and we both were quiet. I flattened my hair and he smirked. He is such a child, I thought angrily as I took out my game boy and played Pokemon.


The fishing place was kind of a bit away from our hotel but it was really nice. The water was so clear you could see everything, the sand was white...and Kevin had rented a little boat.

"We're going a bit off the coast." the captain said. I felt nausea coming on, from my hangover and Brian was also looking a bit green.

"Urgh." he mumbled as he sat down next to me. I smiled, looking out over the ocean....it was so peaceful and I felt at home there. Like everything was going to be just fine.

"Bri? Ever worry that you're gonna fail?" I asked.

"Fail college? Nah. Our grades are fine." he said, rubbing his stomach. Kevin was talking to the captain.

"No.....fail at life." I muttered. He stared hard at me. Given, it was a deep question but sometimes I wondered if I really was going to make it to graduation, if I would make it into animation.

"That's pretty deep. What brought this on?"

"Sometimes I think about it." I said, playing with the fringe hanging from my swim shorts.

"I was like that when I started last year. I've seen your drawings and I think you're gonna be just fine. It's normal to worry but you can't let that stop you. They're not here, but your parents got your back." Brian smiled. I nodded, feeling a bit better. I was never a confident person to begin with, but I was glad to have someone to talk to about things. It really felt like we were becoming family.


"We're here. You boys ready?" Kevin asked. We both took our fishing poles, Kevin and I casted but Brian had trouble.

"I've never fished before." he confessed.

I watched Kevin go over and teach him how to cast, and I smiled. He was the one who had taught me....when my dad was gone. I felt bad for telling him he wasn't a good parent.


We didn't catch much but the three of us had a good time, heading back later that day as the sun went down. I stood on the boat, leaning over the railing and Kevin appeared next to me.

"You okay, kiddo?" he asked, patting my back. I grinned at him.

"Just thinking."

"I heard you and Brian talking....he's right, you'll be fine."

"Thanks, Kev." I whispered. He looked back at me and it was like he was looking into my soul, waiting for me to say something else but he turned to look at the ocean.


"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you back at the house....you aren't just a friend. You took me in and raised me...and I was a brat." I said. He smiled and just chuckled.

"You are a brat but you don't need to apologize. You had every right to say that, I should have told you the truth about Brian from day one. I wanted to see if you and him got along and you do. That was my plan from the beginning."

"I am. He's not that bad." I said, laughing.

After Kevin and I talked I walked back over to where Brian was sitting and we didn't say much for a while. It was hard to believe a few months ago I was annoyed with him and thought we were complete opposites.


"So are you gonna frame it?" he asked, holding up the thong again.

"Asshole!!!" I yelled, lunging at him. We collapsed onto the chair, laughing.

He might be a prick but I couldn't have asked for a anything more. He is family after all.

Chapter 28


"Do a good job. You don't have to worry about the money. It will take care of itself. Just do your best work." –Walt Disney




Miami seemed like it just happened yesterday, but here we are on summer break. Brian did as he said he would, he's moved into Kevin's. He insisted on paying rent, but Kevin decided to let him work in the diner to earn his keep. I am working there as well, I do prep.

By prep, I mean I am Kevin's bitch.

"Nick, can you bring in those eggs from the cooler?" Kevin asked. He was cooking today because the fry cook was out sick....and it was breakfast. We were pretty busy and it was Brian's first day.

"I'm on it Chief!"

"Chief?" Kevin questioned as I smirked. I disappeared into the cooler and came back with the eggs...then I went to work prepping some stuff for lunch. I was halfway through slicing up tomatoes when I heard a loud crash and tinkling glass.

I ran around the corner to see Brian on the floor with the buspan of dishes, some of them broken. I felt bad as he looked sheepishly up at me. Why did Kevin think he'd be good at busing tables?

"Don't stress so much, it is just your first day." I said softly as I helped him up. He seemed like all he wanted to do was drown himself in the sink.

"I'm screwing up so bad. Back home I was good at everything." Brian confessed with a sigh.

"You'll get the hang of it." I said. I patted him on the back and he carried the remainder of the dishes to the sink to wash.

By the end of our shift, we were beat. We had planned to shoot some hoops but all we wanted was to flop down on our beds for a well deserved rest.


"Nick?"


"Mmmmph." I said groggily a few hours later, rubbing my eyes. It was 8 and it was our day off, but what the heck was Kevin doing waking me up? Did he have a death wish?

"Time for your driving lesson." he said. I sighed, he'd been giving me a few lessons and I still wasn't crazy about the concept. Especially not after what happened with the rabbit.



"I don't know about this." I said, sitting in a random parking lot in Orlando.

"Trust me. I made sure we are not near any wooded areas, there's no way Thumper is going to run in front of the car." Kevin told me calmly, waving it off. I gripped the wheel and took a breath, putting my foot gently down on the gas.

"Steady now."

I was driving. I was driving and it felt wonderful, I circled the lot twice and even parallel parked, did a K-turn and everything I'd need for the test.

"Well?" I asked when we were done. He even let me drive home where Brian was waiting on the porch. I smiled at him sitting there with his basketball.

"I think you're ready for the test." Kevin said, patting me on the back.

I almost laughed, Brian was waiting on the porch for me when we got home, a basketball sitting next to him. He looked brightly at me.


"Hey, Buzz." Brian said as his phone began ringing.

"Howdy, Sheriff. Wanna play some hoops?" I asked, taking the ball from him. He didn't answer me, instead he turned off his phone and put it back in his pocket.

"Ok, let's play!"

I couldn't help but wonder if it was his mom calling.





"Hey, Nick....phone for you." Kevin said a few days later. I was a bit surprised someone would be calling me.

"Hello?" I said when the reciever was to my ear.

"Nick? This is Jackie."

I almost dropped the phone. Kevin looked at me oddly but I waved him off and took the call outside.

"How are you, Mrs. Littrell?" I asked.

"I'm doing well but I haven't talked to Brian since after the accident...is he doing all right? He won't talk to me and all I want to know is if my son is okay." she said tearfully. My heart broke a little for them, I still partially blamed myself for them not speaking.
"He's walking okay now, but in my opinion he really should be telling you himself what's going on. I'm so sorry for this." I said. She started crying on the phone and I felt even worse.

"Brian stopped talking to me. Just before Spring Break, he told me he wasn't coming back. Is that true?" she sobbed.

"No, Mrs. Littrell. He probably just needs some time."

I hated lying, but I didn't want to upset her anymore. I needed to talk to Brian. After I got off the phone, I headed upstairs two at a time and ran into him as he came out of his bedroom, the one across from mine. It used to be the guest room. Only one thing seemed to be missing. There was no picture of Bella, no sign he had even lived on that farm.

"Geez, Nick. Where's the f-"

I didn't even let him finish speaking, I pushed him into the room and slammed the door behind me.

"You're gonna listen to me and you're gonna listen good." I hissed, pushing him towards the bed. He flopped down and I stood there, my chest heaving from talking to his mother. I wanted to cry myself.

"Nick...."

"Don't you Nick me. You need to call your mom. How long have you been avoiding her?" I asked angrily.

"I, uh...I don't know." he said finally, looking at his feet.

"She's really upset and worried about you. So much that she called to ask me how you were doing. Why won't you talk to her?"

"She lied to us, Nick. She lied to me. Until a few months ago, I thought I was an only child....I thought I would grow up and take over the farm. I don't know anything anymore!" he told me in frustration. I could see his eyes welling up.

"How do you think I feel? Kevin lied to me too.....and I feel like I've broken up your family. You won't even look at them or your sheep." I said seriously, throwing up my arms at him.

"Bella is a goat, Nick!" he yelled, unable to keep a straight face.

We stared at each other and suddenly the anger turned into laughter. We belly laughed so much we were nearly on the floor.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like that, Nick. I just feel so lost, yanno? Like I don't belong anywhere." he said on the way downstairs. I could smell the pancakes and bacon, it was only making me hungrier.

"I know you feel like you belong here, and we love having you....but you really need to talk to your mom." I suggested. He just nodded and sat at the table, Kevin eyeing me from across the room.

"So Nick, I think you're ready for the test next week." he smiled, trying to change the subject. That was the last of the discussion, and I shoved my bacon in my mouth. Just because I can.




The day of the driving test I was nervous to say the least.

"You should bring this for luck." Brian said, holding up his bobblehead I'd given him at Disney.

"Nah, I am just gonna take Kevin's watch." I replied, still laying in bed. Kevin came up the stairs and knocked on the door, Brian smirking at me.

"Time to get up. I've been calling you for an hour."

"I don't feel so good." I said, pouting and trying to look sick, fake cough and all. He just stood there and gave me the angry brows.

"Nice try, kiddo. Get dressed." Kevin chuckled before leaving the room.

"It worked when I was 9...." I called after him as Brian laughed at me.



I felt like I was gonna hurl. I didn't think I'd done very well, I ran over like two cones and I was shaking the whole time.

"Dude you look sick." Brian said, looking at me when I came back from the driving course. His phone rang but he ignored it again.

"Brian....promise me you will call her today." I whispered.

"Okay, if you pass the test I will call." he laughed. The driving instructor came over smiling and handed me the paper, showing I'd passed.

"Congratulations, Mr. Carter." she said. I looked at Brian, he was pale.

"Oh shit." he said.

He took out his phone and began dialing.....I guess there were two victories for me today.

Chapter 29


"I'll keep wondering, and wondering, and wondering, and wondering, when will my life begin?" –Rapunzel (Tangled)



"Nick!!!!"


Ping.

I knew I was late waking up but I couldn't stop this text conversation I was having.

Ping.

"Hurry up, Nick. We're gonna be late!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold your horses there, Woody."

I giggled at my own joke, feeling my phone vibrate.

Ping.

I opened my phone and grinned wider before typing out the text, I was gonna get lucky tonight. I couldn't wait. It would be perfect after today's festivities.

I mean, it wasn't every day you graduated from college. I was graduating with my degree in animation, minoring in graphic design. Not bad for 4 years. I look at my 22 year old self in the mirror, adjust my glasses and fix my mop of hair, and I'm good to go.

"A Mickey tie? Guess some things don't change." Brian grinned from the doorway. I grabbed my cap and gown, feeling my phone vibrating again.

"Nobody's gonna see it, it'll be under my gown." I stated. Brian looked over my shoulder at my phone and I nudged him away.

"Dude, she won't leave you alone, will she?" he chuckled.

"I don't know what it was. The sex....the alcohol or the waffles, but she can't resist the Carter charm. I had to grow into it someday." I replied cheekily. Brian rolled his eyes at me and we headed to the cars parked near our dorm.

"Carter charm? Please." he scoffed.

"Yuck it up.....by the way, I'm driving." I said, holding up the keys. Mine was a black Ford with a Mickey decal in the window, along with the matching seat covers and floor mats.

Do you expect anything less from me?


"Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase...."


My phone was ringing, and it was Kevin. Still being a worry wart like he always was. Ever since I started driving he got more parent like.

It sure took him long enough. He sometimes forgets to be a parent.


"I'm on my way. We're not that late." I said into the receiver before hanging up.

A lot of things have changed in the past few years. Brian is graduating too...he was supposed to graduate last year, but he changed majors to teaching. He's looking for a job, but he wants to teach high school or middle school. Far cry from farming, but he still has Bella on his wall.

In the words of Brian himself, some things don't change. As for me, I got glasses last year. It's been hard to adjust but I needed them for driving....guess there was a reason for Thumper, sometimes I have trouble seeing. Kevin still brings that up whenever I take out the car. Hence my "I brake for animals" bumper sticker.

I'm not kidding.


Brian and I got there just in time to say hello. I didn't have anyone but Kevin....but Jackie and Harold had shown up.

"Hi, Nick." Harold said, smiling at me. Brian didn't make eye contact but I nudged him. He hadn't been back to Kentucky like he'd said.....but he was talking to his parents at least. They took his career decision well.

"Hi, Mr. Littrell." I replied. We stood there in silence and he finally stepped towards me.

"Call me Harold." he said, holding out his hand for me to shake. I was surprised but I took it. It was like being accepted into Brian's family, and I felt great. I nodded and watched Brian slowly walk over to his mother. They just looked at each other and he threw his arms around her, the two of them crying.

"My baby is all grown up..." she whispered. I could have sworn I felt my mother saying the same thing....I felt my eyes tearing. I wondered for a moment if they were watching. Jackie also gave me a small hug and patted me on the back.


"Thank you, Nick. Thank you for bringing us back together." she said softly into my ear.

"Brian needed you, he just didn't realize how much." I said. We parted and she went back to Brian, leaving me to my thoughts.

Kevin walked up next to me as I was gazing off into space.

"You all right?" he asked. I felt a slight chill on my neck....it was strange because there was definitely no wind that day.

"Just thinking." I smiled.

"They can see you....you know. You've grown up a lot since everything happened, Nick. Your parents are watching." Kevin told me. Brian was hugging his step dad and we were being waved to our seats onstage.

"You think so?"

"I know so. You're gonna be just fine, kid." Kevin smiled.

I paused, looking at him and still feeling that lump in my throat...I knew I was ready. Although I was shaky and sweaty....my heart was going a mile a minute, I was ready to graduate.

"Trust me. Now go before all the good diplomas are taken." he winked.

I grinned at him and went to my seat, really feeling like my life was about to begin.

Chapter 30 (Epilogue)


"All stories have an ending, you know." –Narrator (Winnie the Pooh)


I sat in my cubicle behind my desk, staring at the picture frame in front of me....Brian and I on Graduation day. I'd come a long way since I graduated college ten years ago. 2012 was being pretty good to me, in more ways than one.

"Yeah, I will be home around eight...I gotta work a bit late tonight, then I'm gonna go out for a beer with Brian."

"All right honey. See you when you get in. The kids will be in bed already."

I hung up the phone and looked at the picture of my family on my desk, Laura and I had gotten together during college Junior year and were married not long after. We had two sons, Peter, who was five- and Andrew, my hyperactive 3 year old...who we called Andy for short.

If you don't know what those names are in reference to, you haven't been paying attention to me very well. I've been a storyboard artist for quite some time, and I couldn't ask for anything better. I finished up my work for the day and packed up my briefcase before leaving, saying hello to some of my co workers.

On my way out, I nearly tripped over a mop bucket in the hall.

"Oh, wow. I'm sorry...."

The man in front of me was short and grumpy, trying to clean up the spilled water.

"Watch where you're going, buddy. I'm trying to work here!"

I recognized that voice, although I hadn't heard it in a long time.

"Howie?"

He looked up at me and his eyes went wide before he rushed around the corner, me laughing because he was a janitor.

Karma's a bitch, isn't it?




"Hey, Sheriff!" I called as I walked into the bar. Brian was sitting there, sipping at a beer and watching the football game on TV.

"Buzz." he said, smiling at me. I sat down and ordered a beer as well. I had taken to the name he'd given me in college, and whenever we got together it felt like old times.

"Remember when we went to that frat party?" I chuckled.

"The one where you threw up on my shoes? How can I forget that?" he teased, nudging me with his elbow. We ordered some wings and got to talking. Brian and I didn't see each other a lot these days because of work and my kids....but we tried to hang out every so often. I also kept in touch with AJ even though he lived in San Fransisco now.

"So how are the rugrats?" Brian asked. He was seeing this girl he met while teaching in Orlando. I wondered if he would have kids and get married one day too. Being a father was something I had never expected would happen, but when Laura told me she was pregnant, I took to the role almost right away. I wanted to give my kids what I missed out on when my parents had passed away. The pain wasn't so bad now, but sometimes it feels like there's an empty spot.

An empty spot that right now is being filled with chicken wings.

"They're ok. Peter is getting big, he was chasing the dog around today so I have to pick up some more safety gates. That kid is so accident prone."

"I wonder who he takes after?" Brian teased.

"Don't mention it to my wife, she will start agreeing with you." I laughed.

"I never thought you'd ever get married. We were so awkward in college." he told me. He was right- and although I'd grown up a lot, I was still the same guy. I dug into the chicken wings when they arrived, I was starving. What can I say, I love food.

"So when are you settling down with April?" I asked.

"I was thinking of proposing soon actually. That's why I asked you to hang out, I was wondering if you'd be my best man?"

"Do you need to ask? You were mine so I think it's fair." I smiled.

"I'm gonna ask when we all take Peter to Disney for his birthday. Pete really takes after you doesn't he?"

"Like father, like son." I muttered happily. I was proud of my kids and loved my work, I loved sharing it with my family.


It was like everything had come full circle in my life. It was perfect and as I sipped at my beer, I definitely would do it all again....even living with Brian for four years and putting up with his farm boy tendencies.

"So did you ever frame Laura's thong from spring break?" Brian said, totally ruining my moment.

Jackass.

Some things REALLY don't change.