The pool water is refreshingly cool against my skin. It’s a scorching hot February, even for Los Angeles. I float on my back and stare up at the sky: bright blue with not a cloud in sight, only the birds and the occasional airplane cruising by. It’s quiet up here, me being the solitary occupant of the condo’s rooftop pool. The portable stereo nearby is blasting Bob Marley and I let myself relax, closing my eyes and feel the hot sun against my face.

I can get used to this.

I’m startled a moment later by the sound of the sliding doors opening and the shuffling of feet a few seconds later. I adjust myself upright, kicking my feet and waving my arms to float. I make eye contact with bright blue eyes watching me, a small smile set against a handsome face.

“Hey, beautiful,” he says, kneeling by the pool as I swim to the ledge. He leans down and I greet him with a peck on the lips.

“You’re home early.”

“Rehearsals went good, everyone was actually on time today,” he replies with a slight roll of his eys. “I’ve had my mind all day on taking a beautiful woman out to dinner tonight.”

“What’s her name and where does she live?” I ask, playfully narrowing my eyes at him.

“Why don’t you get out of the pool and find out?” He grins at me and stands to his feet. “You can give me the jealous girlfriend strip search.” He gives me a wink and I giggle, making my way towards the pool steps.

When I come up, he hands me a towel and I take it from him, drying myself. I catch him eyeing my mint green bikini appreciatively and I give him a small, shy smile. When I wrap the towel around myself, he walks forward and embraces me in a tight huh. “The California weather definitely agrees with you,” he murmurs against my hair and I blush.

I have noticed a difference in my appearance the few weeks I’ve been here. The sun has lightened my hair slightly, drying it wavy and has since grown longer. My usually pale skin is now sun kissed with a golden tan, my cheeks pink from the heat. Not being one to spend my days indoors, I’ve caught on to frequenting the condo’s public pool while Brian attends rehearsals and have even taken up surfing at a nearby beach – with a driver and a couple of bodyguards in tow, of course. I still haven’t gotten used to having a bodyguard with me where I go, but I know it’s necessary for my safety. Although there have been no signs of Rooney or any of his men and no leads, either. This gives me hope that perhaps he’s forgotten all about his deal with Brian and has decided to leave us alone, but I know it’s not likely. Though not physically, his presence lingers like a threat. I can feel it in the way Brian holds me a little tighter when we’re out in public, the shift of his eyes carefully sweeping every room we walk into, and the heavy paranoid feeling in my chest when I wake late at night.

I shudder and Brian pulls back to look at me. “You okay?” he asks softly and I nod.

“Let’s go inside now,” I reply and he takes my hand as we walk through the sliding doors and to the elevators. Once inside his condo, Brian immediately sweeps me off my feet in one smooth motion. I gasp in surprise but end up laughing as he carries me to the bathroom, anticipation clear in his eyes.

“Being that I’m all sweaty and gross from rehearsals and you’ve been in the pool all day, I figure it would be quite efficient for us to shower together, yeah?” he says slyly as he sets me down gently inside the stand-up shower.

“Whatever you say, hun,” I giggle as he quickly discards of his clothes before joining me in the shower.

“Better be whatever I say,” he grows sexily, grabbing my hair and kissing me hard.

I feel his hand reach for the shower knob behind me and turn it on, his lips not leaving mine. I feel the cold water hit my back first before it warms up. He pushes me gently against the shower wall, grabbing at my hips and cupping my behind. “Let’s get u out of this,” he murmurs, taking the strings of my bikini bottom and pulling them loose. He’s already working on my bikini top before my bottoms fall to my feet. He groans as I take his erection in my hand and I gasp when I feel his fingers at my opening. I gaze up at him as he plays with my clit, the pleasure overwhelming me and making my legs weak. He’s watching me, eyes hooded and clouded over with want. His mouth hangs slightly open, water droplets cascading down and dripping onto his lips. I lean forward to kiss him and he responds eagerly.

In one swift motion, he lifts my leg and wraps it around his waist and he’s inside me, pressing my hips against the cool shower wall. I moan in pleasure and wrap my arms around his head for support as he pumps passionately into me. “Unh, Brian!”

“Yes, baby,” he whispers, burying his face into the crook of my neck. “You like that?”

“Don’t stop,” I breathe, wrapping my other leg around him, tightening my hold around his neck.

“Fuck,” he growls, biting at my earlobe gently. “You’re so tight.”

The pleasure builds as he continues to thrust inside me at a steady pace and I feel the tightening in my belly. My breaths are now coming out in short gasps as my walls close in around him. “Brian-“

“Unh, come with me baby. Yes,” he breathes, pumping faster as I feel myself letting go. I cry out in pleasure as my orgasm racks my body. “London!” he moans as I feel his load fill me. His hold on me tightens and his eyes squeeze shut, lips between his teeth as his body twitches slightly from his release. We’re both breathing hard, our bodies trying to recover. He sets me gently back down onto my feet and I feel the blood rushing back to my legs. He pulls back to look at me and smiles. “You ok?”

I nod. “I feel amazing,” I grin and he gives me a soft kiss on the lips.

“Now let’s hurry with the rest of this shower. I’m excited to take my lady out.”

I can’t help the giddy feeling in my stomach at the thought of finally spending some quality time with him and for the night he’s planned just for us. “How did I get so lucky?”

He eyes me with a questioning look. “You? I’m the lucky one here,” he replies, turning me over to run the bar of soap down my back. “For you to be here with me, still, after all that I’ve put you through.”

“It’s worth it,” I say softly. “You’re worth it.”

I feel his lips on my neck and a shiver runs down my spine. “I’m going to take care of you, baby. For as long as you want me.”

I turn my head slightly to look him in the eyes; they’re filled with affection and sincerity. I love you. I want to say it; the moment feels so right but… I feel the hesitation and I give him a small smile instead. He continues to run the soap down my body, his touch gentle and familiar. There’s that longing in my heart again. The one that wishes the circumstances between us were different. Our future is so uncertain, yet I want to be with this man. I’ve never been in this situation, have never felt this way. How can I be in love, hopeful, and happy - yet fearful, anxious, and unclear all at the same time?

I’ve just finished drying my hair and am just working on my make-up when Brian strolls into the bathroom, phone in hand and a guilty look etched on his face. I gaze at him quizzically through the mirror, a mascara wand to my eye.

“You’re gonna hate me,” he says, moving behind me to wrap his arms around my waist. He’s changed into a pair of dark grey slacks and a simple white button up, a simple silver Rolex watch peeking out from under his right sleeve.

“What did you do now?” I ask jokingly and he buries his face in my neck. I can barely hear what he says next.

“I totally forgot about the dinner with execs from the record label tonight,” he mumbles quickly before peeking up to look at my reflection in the mirror. His blue eyes are squinting at me, regarding me with an apologetic look.

I can’t help but feel a little disappointed; I was really looking forward to finally spending some quality time with him in between his hectic rehearsal schedule. But I take a deep breath and give him a reassuring smile. “I understand, baby,” I reply and he gives me a small smile back before turning me around.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he murmurs, cupping my chin in his hand and giving me a light kiss. “But, I’m taking you as my guest tonight. I mean, if you want. I understand if you don’t want to sit through some boring exec dinner.”

I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck. “I’ve missed you all day. I think I can get through a couple hours of mamba-jamba that I probably won’t understand… as long as you’re sitting beside me.”

A cheesy grin forms on his face and he hugs me tightly, picking me up off my feet. “You’re the best.” I laugh and he gives me another kiss before placing me back down. “A car will be here to pick us up in about twenty minutes. I have to make a few phone calls, but I’ll meet you out in the living room when you’re ready?”

I nod and he gives me a wink before slipping out of the bathroom again. I look at myself in the mirror, not believing what my life has turned into. Million dollar estates, expensive cars complete with a chauffeur, bodyguards, fancy record label dinners, and life with a celebrity. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, picking up my mascara wand and continuing as if nothing had happened.

-

Twenty minutes later, my hair is straightened and falling halfway down my back. I’ve done a smoky look for my eye make-up with clear gloss on my lips and have slipped into a light grey dress that falls just above my knees, with straps that make an ‘x’ across my back. I check myself once more in the mirror, step into a pair of black suede stilettos, grab a deep red clutch, and make my way to the living room. Brian is sitting on the black leather couch, fiddling with his cellphone, with a slight frown on his face. My heels click against the hardwood floor and he immediately looks up as I walk towards him. The frown on his face disappears and his eyes soften as he looks me up and down.

“Wow,” he breathes and I feel the blush creep on my cheeks as he stands to his feet. His blue eyes are burning into me as he closes the space between us, taking my hand and pulling me into his arms. “Why are you so beautiful?” He kisses my cheek, my ear, then my neck, sending a jolt of electricity down my spine. Just then, John one of the security guards, clears his throat by the door and Brian looks up, a slightly annoyed yet still polite look on his face.

“Sir,” John speaks up. “Your driver has arrived.”

Brian gives him a smile and pulls away from me. “Thanks, John,” he replies with a nod. He looks down at me and raises my hand to his lips. “You ready?”

I nod, my heart fluttering from his kiss. “As I’ll ever be.”

A few minutes later, we’re sitting in the backseat of the black SUV in silence. I’m staring out the window, watching the Los Angeles sunset glow beautifully in the horizon. I’m momentarily reminded of Banff’s beautiful sunset against the mountains and I let myself reminisce fondly. It’s hard to believe that Brian had moved in across from me just a few months ago. Suddenly, I remember his troubled look in the living room and glance over at him. He’s staring out the window too, with that same frown on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask softly and he’s pulled out of his thoughts. His gaze slowly turns to me and his brows raise up in question.

“What’s that, baby?”

“Is everything okay?” I ask again and he gives me a reassuring smile.

“Everything’s great, baby,” he tells me and reaches over to squeeze my hand. “I was just talking to Detective Brady before you walked in. They had a lead on Rooney doing some smuggling down near the Mexico border, but now they’ve lost him… again.” He says the last part in a sigh and I see the troubled look back in his eyes. “At least he’s nowhere near here.”

“Perhaps he’s gotten bored of us?” I suggest hopefully, though I know that’s a lost cause.

“Wouldn’t that be great,” he murmurs and gives me a small smile. “I was also talking to management about dinner. Apparently, it’s supposed to be a short one which is good. Just need to sign some contracts and what not.”

I nod. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yeah, I just wish they’d set up some sort of short meeting for it and not a whole grand fancy-schmancy dinner, ya know?” He rolls his eyes and his troubled look turns into a tired one. “I was really looking forward to taking you out and just… hanging out.”

I smile and reach up to touch his jaw. “I think you just need a day off, a nice home-cooked meal, and a massage.”

He closes his eyes and sits back, allowing his head to relax against the seat. “That is exactly what I need, baby.” He sighs and I feel for him at that moment. I can tell his schedule is taking a physical and mental toll on him. “I’m just fighting to stay grateful for everything I have right now. I mean, I’m living the dream. Twenty-six years old, famous, wealthy, and doing what I love? I could do without the fame, but it’s all been a blessing.”

“I think once you get on an airplane and out to the see the world again, you’ll feel a lot better about all of this,” I reply quietly and he opens his eyes to look at me.

“You’re right. That’s my favorite part; seeing the fans.” He lets out another sigh and gives me a small smile. “It’s just hectic because I need to catch up. My disappearing act for those few months caught up to me.” He sits up again just as the SUV slows and pulls up in front of a white building with large pillars and a beautiful garden in the front.

“Only a couple more weeks, hun,” I tell him and give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

He grins and gives me a peck on the cheek. “Then I get to take you out on dates all over the world.”

My heart soars at this; the thought of finally being able to see different cultures and cities across the globe… and all expenses paid. Wow. Before this overwhelming thought can consume me, John opens the door and Brian steps out first before reaching his hand out to me. Immediately, I’m blinded by a light and I automatically assume that it’s headlights from another car pulling up behind us. Shortly after, another flash of light makes me stop but I feel Brian pulling me behind him. I suddenly realize that they weren’t headlights, but the bright flashes of cameras. Paparazzi. Wow, I did not even see them come up. Brian waves at them politely, still with my hand in his and I follow him up the stairs of the building and through the doors. I look back, relieved that the fiasco only lasted a few seconds. It’s only been my second brush up with paparazzi since that night at the airport. I see Nick climbing out of a different car and smiling cheesily at the cameras. I can’t help but giggle.

“He loves it, doesn’t he?” I say and Brian turns to me, a confused look on his face. He averts his attention back outside as Nick takes his time walking up the stairs, conversing with some reporters on the way. Brian rolls his eyes and gives me a knowing smile.

“He’s a ham,” he replies. “Come on, we’ll grab our seats.” I stifle a yelp as he grabs my behind playfully and squeezes.

“You are such a pervert!” I whisper jokingly as we approach a podium with a male host standing behind it. He’s dressed in a smart black suit with a white dress shirt and a black bowtie. Brian only grins and gives me a quick wink and informs the host of which party we belong to.

We’re led upstairs to a private room under the reservation “Jive Records”. Kevin, Kristin, Howie and his female guest, along with two members of their management team and a handful of security guards are already in the room; some seated at the table and some hanging around by the private bar. My mouth drops slightly at the extravagant chandelier hanging above the round oak table that seats a dozen people. Fine china and cutlery are set and a breathtaking arrangement of flowers is placed in the middle of the table. The S-shaped bar is all expensive dark marble illuminated under a blue light and another man is situated behind it serving the guests drinks; this one is wearing a crisp white dress shirt underneath a black vest and a light purple tie. In the corner sits a beautiful ivory grand piano, behind it a man in a penguin tuxedo softly playing classical music. It feels so… chic, and I suddenly feel important.

Brian and I greet everyone around the table and Howie introduces his female friend whose name is Chloe. I’m offered a glass of wine from one of the servers. Oh, Cristal. I take a glass and revel in the smooth, cold, and delicious taste. It’s the first time I’ve ever had Cristal and it tastes…well, wonderfully expensive. Nick finally enters the room, trailed closely by AJ who is wearing black nail polish, loose black dress pants, a silk black button up, a white fedora, and dark sunglasses. I’ve grown accustomed to his quirky sense of style – besides Brian, he’d be my favourite Backstreet Boy. I smile to myself at this and Brian eyes me quizzically. Before he can ask what I’m thinking about, two really important looking men walk into the room. I’m introduced to the balding one almost immediately. Barry Weiss – President of Jive Records. I nearly choke on my Cristal.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir,” I say as gracefully as I can, shaking his hand firmly.

He grins at me and then at Brian. “She’s beautiful, Brian.”

I blush at this but before I could reply, Mr. Weiss is quickly whisked away to be introduced to Chloe. I turn to Brian and he has his eyebrows raised at me. “Blushing, are we?” he teases and I roll my eyes at him. He leans over to kiss my cheek. “You are gorgeous, Ms. Cartier.”

“Why thank you, kind sir,” I reply lightly and his grin grows wider.

A few minutes later, everyone is seated at the large table and Barry and his assistant get right to business. I catch on to a little of the meeting’s details, including the new contract that had obviously been discussed and looked over with prior to this evening. I have a feeling, though, that this could have been discussed with other Jive execs – not the president himself. I can also tell that there is an underlying issue related to this fact, seeing that Brian has become increasingly uncomfortable and fidgety during dinner. I can also see the tension in Kevin’s face, AJ’s is hidden behind his glasses, Nick looks indifferent, and Howie is the only one who has managed to remain calm as Mr. Weiss continues to ramble on about contract issues that only sound foreign to me. I focus on my half eaten steak meal, but notice that Mr. Weiss and his assistant are the only ones who haven’t touched their plates.

Before I could gather what was happening, Mr. Weiss excuses himself and stands up. “Well, it was nice meeting with you all. I hope this has cleared up any confusion or miscommunication about the new contract. I understand that I have your word.” He looks directly at management before giving a warm smile around the table. “Though I would love to stay and chat, I unfortunately have another meeting with a newly signed artist. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your evening.” With that, he strides out of the room, followed closely by his assistant.

Brian’s shoulders relax a little, but the tension in his eyes remains. Jenn, a kind lady from their management team, stands up and produces a manila envelope from a briefcase. Wordlessly, she begins to hand out the fairly thick contracts to each band member and I watch as Brian signs it, that same troubled look in his eyes.

Once every contract has been signed and handed back to Jenn, conversation breaks out again and I take this opportunity to squeeze Brian’s hand. He looks up at me and I see the exhaustion in his eyes. “You okay?” I ask softly and he nods quietly.

“I think Kristen and I are going to head out,” Kevin says, his voice filled with strain. I catch Kristen’s eyes and she smiles warmly at me. I smile back. This woman must know so much about the goings-on with the band and everything that they’ve been through these past years. It must pain her to see her husband go through it, too. “I’ll see you all at rehearsals tomorrow.”

Brian looks at me then and there’s a glitter in his eyes that almost takes the tension out of them. “Let’s get out of here,” he says, a grin forming on his face. “Let’s just get out of here.”

“And go home?” I ask quietly. I didn’t really want to go home – I’ve been so holed up in that condo that it felt nice to be out at least.

He shakes his head and looks down at my half eaten steak, the untouched caviar, and the orange gourmet-looking gloop designed into a flower that I had pushed to the side of my plate. It’s mashed sweet potato – I think. “What would you really like to eat?” he asks, a hint of humour in his voice and his eyebrows raised.

“Honestly? I just really want an In N Out burger,” I giggle and there’s that grin on his face again. He reaches a hand out to me and I take it, the smile on my face growing.

“Sounds like the perfect date.”

Half an hour later and we’re sitting on the hood of the SUV atop a hill overlooking the city of Los Angeles. I’ve replaced my heels with black Converse Chuck Taylors, my legs outstretched and crossed in front of me as I take another bite of a juicy In N Out burger.

“This is the best,” I murmur in between mouthfuls. “Don’t judge me. We don’t have this in Canada.”

Brian only grins cheekily at me as he dives into the bag of fries. “You know, I never thought I’d be dating a Canadian girl.”

I laugh at this, wiping my hands on a napkin. “Is it any different from dating an American girl?”

He shakes his head slowly. “Not really,” he replies, unwrapping his second burger. “Except for the whole, I still don’t even know all of your ethnic backgrounds thing.” He laughs slightly. “I’ve only ever dated blonde Southern types. You know, all American.”

“Funny. I’ve only ever dated mixes. You know, all Canadian.”

We both laugh at this and he takes my hand to kiss it. “The only thing I can tell you is… you’re not hard to please.” He gives me a small smile and I stare back questioningly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” he pauses and looks around us. “Were in Los Angeles and all you want to do is sit on a car and eat burgers with me. My past girlfriends expected so much more, to say the least.”

“Fancy dinners and expensive gifts?” I question and he nods. I shrug. “I was never raised that way. This is all I’ve known and all I really need.”

He sighs and cups my chin. “That’s what I love about you,” he says softly and places a light kiss on my lips. “You’re not like that. I love that you’re comfortable in sneakers and stuffing your face with food around me. I love that you don’t use my lifestyle as an excuse to get… more.”

I smile and give him another kiss. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Brian Littrell. What I appreciate about you is that you don’t even act like you’re world famous. You’re just a good old family guy with strong values. You’re grounded.”

He squints his eyes at me. “Who you calling old?”

I laugh and pull back, remembering something. “Oh that’s right, it’s your twenty-sixth birthday next week!”

He stares at me incredulously. “You mean twenty-one for the sixth time right?”

“Oh c’mon, it’s not that old!” I take a sip of root beer, biting the straw out of habit and also in thought. “What to give the man who has everything?”

“I do have everything,” he agrees and pulls me towards him. “I have you!”

“Oh my God,” I giggle. “That was the cheesiest!”

“You love it,” he teases, pulling me onto his lap.

I love you. The passing thought startles and comforts me at the same time. It feels so natural, so right at this moment. I look at him; blue eyes burning into hazel. “I-“ I hesitate and he raises his eyebrows at me, a small smile on his face. “Brian…”

“Yeah?” Whether intentionally or not, his voice comes out in a whisper. I realize I haven’t told a man that I loved him, really loved him, in a long time. What if it comes out wrong? What if it drives him off? Oh God. I’m thinking too much.

I shake my head. “Nothing.” I follow his gaze, which is towards the three bodyguards who are standing not too far away. I can tell they’re being attentive to us while still trying to give us as much privacy as they can, given their job requirements.

He sighs. “I wish we were really alone,” he says softly.

“It’s just us,” I reassure him and look off into the distance, pulling his arms around me and leaning back onto his chest.

The twinkling lights of Los Angeles sparkles in the horizon, competing with the beautiful stars scattered against a clear night sky. The moon is full tonight, casting a cool glow on the grassy hill. I sigh, content filling my heart, feeling Brian’s warm arms engulf me and his chin resting gently against my shoulder.

“I do love it,” I say and he lifts his head.

“Love what?” He shifts me so I’m looking at him, his impossible blues filled with curiosity.

“Us,” I reply.

“I love you,” he whispers without hesitation. I let in a sharp intake of breath, not expecting those words from him. My eyes widen as I stare at him, not being able to speak. I can tell he’s nervous too. Then he smiles. “Your eyes are so beautiful.” Then he pulls me into his arms and buries his nose in my hair. “The things you can make me do, London.”

“I love you, too,” I breathe, an indescribable feeling swelling in my heart. He pulls back to look at me, his blue eyes glowing. Oh, I can get lost in those eyes.

“For a second there, I thought you were gonna reject me,” he says softly, his shoulders relaxing.

“A little too late for that now, huh?” I tease and he playfully rolls his eyes at me.

“You’re such a romantic.”

“Hearing my boyfriend tell me he loves me for the very first time surrounded by In N Out wrappers?” He lets out a small laugh and pulls me back into his arms, hugging me tightly. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” I add, whispering into his ear.

“Ohh, now who’s the big cheese?” He tickles me playfully and I pull back instinctively but he holds me tight. “No. I want this moment to last for at least a few more minutes.”

We both sit still, just holding each other in silence. I can almost hear the drum of his heart against mine, his soft breathing close to my ear. “This is perfect, Brian,” I tell him and he pulls back to look at me again.

“I love you,” he says and it sends a jolt of electricity through me. I don’t think I can ever get enough of that.

“I love you too,” I reply and his face breaks out into another one of his cheesy grins.

“Just checking.”

I giggle at this and we sit in comfortable silence for a few seconds. “This is the happiest I’ve seen you all night,” I say, searching his face. “What was that meeting all about?”

He sighs and I almost regret bringing it up until he starts talking. “I’ve wanted to vent about that and just let it out, actually,” he replies. “I just didn’t want to ruin the evening.”

I shake my head. “Vent away.”

“We’ve just been having a lot of problems with our current record company.” He pauses. “For a while now, I think I speak for most of the members in the group when I say I feel like we’re just puppets on strings. It’s not the first time. The industry can just be so cut throat. People are greedy, selfish. Always taking more than what they want to give.”

I nod. “From what I saw, it seems that none of you are very happy with how you’re being treated by your label.”

“Yeah, to say the least.” He leans back, taking me with him so that we’re lying flat against the hood of the vehicle, staring up at the night sky. “I’ve been in this since high school. High school. Being young and ignorant like that, people take advantage… ya know? I’m just tired of being cheated financially, mentally, emotionally and feeling like we have no control over where our career is going. I just want to sing, that’s what I’m passionate about it. Screw all of these policies and legalities and what not, let me just sing and meet the fans who have made this all possible.” He takes a deep breath and I turn my head to watch him. He has a slight frown on his forehead and I see the strain back in his eyes. “If I had all the say in it, Black & Blue would be our last album and tour with Jive.”

“But?”

“But…” He lets out another sigh. “We’ve just signed the contract for another five albums with them. And my gut is just telling me to get out. I know better… this time around.”

“What do you think will happen after the tour?”

“I think we’re talking about some sort of hiatus,” he replies and I see the sadness in his eyes. “As much as I love touring and making music, I have to say that we’re all so burnt out.”

“What do you want?” I ask softly, squeezing his hand. He shifts so that he’s gazing at me now, really looking at me straight in the eyes.

“I want a… somewhat normal life.” He gives me a small smile. “I want to focus on my Heart Foundation, take some time off to travel the world and actually see it. I want to build a stable relationship in a home and in the not-so-distant future, I want to build a family of my own.” He laughs slightly, and his gaze turns back up to the sky. “I know… poor little rich boy, right? I have no need to complain.”

I shake my head. “No, not that,” is my reply. “At least you want the things that are most important in life. I think… once people experience the success, the wealth, and the fame, they crave simplicity. That’s to be admired, Brian, not to scoff at.”

“You know what, London?” His gaze is back on me, his expression unreadable. “You’re that for me. You’re my simplicity and stillness in a world full of crazy. That’s why I knew I didn’t have a chance at trying to stay away from you the moment I laid eyes on you.” He pauses. “Is that selfish of me?”

I mull this over in my head for a moment, and then I give him a sad smile. “Yeah, a little. But, given that someone wants me dead just for being with you and we’re completely disregarding that fact just to be together, I’m just as selfish for wanting it more than my own safety.”

He takes my hand and his stare is intense. “It’s going to be okay, baby,” he says firmly, surely.

I nod and squeeze his hand back. “I know.” After a short pause, I smile at him and add, “I trust you.” And, in that moment; safe in his arms, I feel like I’ve never spoken truer words.

I turn the dial on the radio atop the kitchen counter, playing around with it until the KIIS FM station is set loud and clear.

“And coming up after these commercials is what pretty much every teenaged girl out there is waiting for and have camped out for right outside our studio,” the male radio host says enthusiastically.

“No seriously guys,” a female voice cuts in with a slight laugh. “I cannot believe how many girls are outside the building right now just waiting for a glimpse of these guys. It is insane out there. I’ve never seen anything like it. They’ve been here since last night!”

“Don’t they have a curfew or something?” The two radio hosts laugh at this before the male voice continues, “But yes, ladies, the Backstreet Boys have just arrived in the studio!” Loud screams could be heard from the distance and I can’t help but smile at the excitement of the fans. “So we’ll get them settled and after this short break, we will be talking about their upcoming tour, as well you’ll get a chance to ask them a question if you call in fast enough!” With that, he cuts off and a radio jingle about car insurance comes on.

I step away from where I was leaning on the counter and stride over to the other side where I’m preparing breaded chicken for dinner. I sprinkle on the last of the garlic breadcrumbs and shredded crackers before sticking it into the preheated oven, setting the timer for forty-five minutes. I’m just getting started on cutting up some potatoes and mushrooms when the radio station cuts from the commercials and I hear the female radio host, Angie, come through again.

“Alright, here with us at KIIS FM are…” She pauses for effect. “…none other than all five members of the Backstreet Boys. Guys, introduce yourselves!” There’s a slight pause until I hear Nick’s familiar laughter and then his voice; all charm and boyish.

“Hey, it’s Nick.”

Then a deeper, more mature one. “Kevin here.”

“This is AJ.” Ever so raspy and mysterious.

“Hey, I’m Brian.” My heart does a funny flip at the sound of his voice; I can never resist that soft Southern twang.

“And I’m Howie.” Even through the radio, I can see Howie’s friendly grin.

“Welcome, welcome to the studio fellas! Glad to have you back here with us again,” Angie says and there’s a murmuring of thank you’s and appreciation from the guys.

“Thanks for having us again,” Kevin’s southern drawl replies politely.

“Now I understand that you’re about to kick off a crazy world tour next week. Tell us a little bit more about that.”

I listen as Brian’s familiar voice comes through. “We’re doing something a little different this time around. We’re starting off in Europe and Asia for the first leg of our tour, then coming to Canada and back home for half of our US dates for the second leg. Then, we get about a month break before hitting up South America, Australia, and then finally ending off back in America.”

“Sounds like you guys will be busy in the next few months!”

“Definitely, but we love it,” Howie replies in his always enthusiastic voice. “It’s definitely been a blessing.”

I smile to myself as I continue to listen to their radio interview, occasionally laughing at the boys’ usual antics. By now, this is probably the fifth of their radio interviews I’ve listened in on today during their promotional tour around Los Angeles. The boys had an early start to the day, filming three talk shows in the morning and spending the afternoon travelling around to different radio stations in the city. Each interviewer have brought up Brian’s disappearing act from earlier this year and each time, he’s politely explained that it was a needed time off for personal reasons. I admire his grace to pull through the rumors and the tabloids, though I can tell just in his voice that he’s growing tired of talking about it.

The rest of the interview talks about the new album, what to expect from the concert, and fan questions from those lucky enough to have gotten through the line. I smile as an overly excited fan comes on the line and screams, making me cringe slightly. I listen in as I sprinkle sea salt on some green beans and sauté the mushrooms in some garlic, working around the kitchen as I go.

“Hi, my name is Megan and I just wanted to say happy birthday to Brian!” she squeals and I laugh as the radio hosts begin to tease Brian about not mentioning his birthday today.

“Ah, it’s no biggie,” he replies, laughing along.

“I just wanted to ask how are you spending your birthday this year?” Megan continues before proclaiming her love for the boys once more who voice their appreciation in return.

“Well, to be honest, I just wanted to have a quiet birthday,” Brian replies and I can imagine that little grin on his face. “We’ve been doing press tours all around the city all day so at least I get to spend some time with the fellas,” he laughs. “They each gave me birthday punches of course. Just a quiet night in at home later, then celebrate with my family over the weekend before I jet off for a couple months!”

“No VIP parties in L.A. with a red carpet and private booths?” Angie jokes.

“Nah, we did that last year,” Brian jokes back.

“It was at Chuck-E-Cheese, they do it big!” AJ chimes in and more laughter follows.

By the time the interview is over, the baked chicken is ready and I’ve kept the veggies at low heat in a pan to keep warm. I’m just laying out the cutlery on the table when John the bodyguard strides into the room in his usual curt and polite manner.

“Ma’am, Mr. Littrell has just informed me that he’s on his way home and will be arriving shortly,” he tells me.

“Thank you, John,” I reply, giving him a smile. He nods and turns on his heel, leaving the room as quickly as he left. It’s still strange to me that I can’t text my own boyfriend due to precautions, but sending messages through security will have to do.

I set the finishing touches to the table and plate the food before taking a seat on the couch. Though I get up a few seconds later, suddenly feeling nervous. I realize I’m pacing now as I wait, not knowing what to do with my hands.

Why am I so nervous? Chill out, London.

I stop pacing when I hear his voice at the main foyer greeting security and a few seconds later footsteps walking down the hallway toward the kitchen. He walks in and sees me first by the couches, a smile forming on his face. Then his eyes travel to the dining table across the condo and my heart does a leap of joy at his surprised expression.

“What is this?” he asks softly, walking towards the table where two plates of baked chicken, garlic mushrooms, red potatoes, and green beans are set across from each other. In the middle are three lit candles and soft acoustic music is playing from the radio on the counter. He swivels around to look at me, realization hitting him. “You did this?”

I nod, smiling and walk over to him. “Happy birthday,” I say and in a heartbeat, he scoops me off my feet and spins me around.

“Baby, you didn’t have to do all of this.”

“I wanted to do something special… within the means that I can,” I add and he sets me back down on my feet to gaze at me. “Plus, you’ve been so drained lately with tour preparations that I just want you to finally relax and just have a nice, quiet dinner.”

He sighs and pulls me into a tight embrace. “Thank you,” he whispers, kissing my hair. “Thank you so much. I’m speechless.”

“It was no problem, baby,” I reply and give him a kiss on the lips. “Now eat up before the food gets cold.”

“Oh thank God, I’m starving!” he says enthusiastically and I have to laugh as he sits down eagerly, then stands back up to pull the chair out for me, and then sit backs down.

“How was your day?” I ask, as I stab at a forkful of green beans.

He shrugs. “Just another day at the office.” He winks at me and I laugh softly, suddenly feeling shy. He narrows his eyes, his gaze questioning. “Blushing are we?”

I shake my head slightly, giving him a look. “It’s just warm in here.”

“Oh, I thought we were just getting started.” He chuckles at the look on my face, clearly enjoying himself. “This is delicious, by the way. Gotta love a woman who can cook.”

I give him a sly smile. “Gotta love a man who can sing.”

“Me?” He feigns an appalled look. “I just do it on the side, you know.”

“How modest of you,” I joke and he gives me that cheesy grin of his.

And that’s how the rest of dinner goes; flirtatious conversations, cheesy remarks, and the occasional hand squeeze across the table. It’s amazing to me how different he is from the mysterious man who lived across the street from me, but it still catches me off guard at how similar he is at the same time. Though he’s all clean boyish charm for the public, there’s a side of him that no one else sees… a side that I only see behind closed doors. He’s still all charm, but in a sexier, more provocative way. I catch him staring at times with a look in his eyes as if he’s undressing me right at the dinner table. He’ll make small remarks that vibrate from my belly down to my womanhood. He is absolutely irresistible and my carnal attraction to him hasn’t changed since the first night he kissed me. By the end of dinner, I’m practically squirming in my seat under his intense gaze, blue eyes alight with desire. Yes, this is definitely a side that the public doesn’t see. And I can’t help but blush thinking that it’s for my enjoyment only.

I breathe out slowly when he stands up to clear the dishes, a sigh of relief from my increasing yearning to jump on his lap and rip his clothes off. He turns his head just enough to give me a look from the corner of his eye, a small smirk on his lips. He’s doing this on purpose, I realize.

“I’ll be right back,” I call out to him and he murmurs his response as I head over to the bedroom where my other surprise is. I walk out a few seconds later and he’s sitting on the couch waiting for me, slightly slouched over, elbow to his knees and hands clasped together. He gives me a wary look when he sees the gift bag in my hand.

“What’s that?” he asks; curiosity and excitement in his voice.

“Just something small for the man who has everything,” I reply, handing him the gift bag and taking a seat next to him. He grins and opens the bag eagerly, peeking into it first.

Then, he chuckles. “No way!” Grinning from ear to ear, he pulls out a package of cut up fudge and the same bottle of wine we had shared that fateful night.

“Express delivered from Banff,” I tell him and his facial expression changes to an unreadable one; his eyebrow slightly furrowed and his gaze softened.

“Baby,” he breathes and pulls me into his arms. “You have no idea how much this means to me.” He pulls back to look me in the eyes. “That night…” he swallows. “That night was… is so much to me. Our first kiss… it was the night I realized I was falling hard for you… realized how amazing of a woman you are.”

I give him a small smile and stand up, taking the wine bottle from him. “Then, let’s recreate that night,” I say seductively. “With a different ending. Look in the bag.”

He looks inside again and pulls out something wrapped in delicate silk. He opens it to reveal a pair of handcuffs and gasps. “Wha-“

“Silk or metal?” I ask, my voice dropping down to a husky tone.

He swallows. “Do I get to choose?”

“Nope.” I giggle as he stands up and follows me into the bedroom.

“Good Lord, woman. Just when I thought I had you all riled up.”

“Play harder, Littrell if you want to keep up.” With that, I take the cuffs from him, push him gently onto the bed, and kick the door closed before pouncing. 

I stare at my gigantic piece of luggage now sitting in the trunk of the Lincoln SUV. I’ve squeezed as many articles of clothing as I could; probably the most I’ve ever packed, aside from my move to Banff. It’s about three months’ worth. Three months. I’m going to be gone for three months. And then only back for a little while, and it’s another few months on the road. This is the longest I’ve ever been away from home, ever. Excitement builds at the pit of my stomach at the wonders I’m about to see… everything that was so unreachable to me in books and magazines, now I’m off to see distant lands and the world. My head is swimming as I try to recollect my thoughts from the past week. It has all been such a blur.

After Brian’s birthday, we took a trip to his parent’s home in Kentucky where I met the Littrells, including his brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews. Mind you, I had to keep up with the deep Southern accents but they were the most welcoming, kind, and devoted Christians I’ve ever met. It gave me a deeper understanding of how Brian holds his family values so strongly. After a couple of days, we jetted off to Vancouver where I was more than happy to introduce Brian to my family. ‘Oh, he was worth the wait,’ Karen had joked, but I had agreed wholeheartedly. We went to a hockey game, ate at a restaurant by the pier, and watched movies all night with my brothers. I remember feeling so content at that moment… like nothing else could touch me, not even Rooney. In fact, I had forgotten all about him…

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I jump, startled out of my reverie and look up to see Brian gazing at me. I shake my head slightly and blink. “I… was just thinking of how much I’m going to miss my family.”

His face softens and he takes my hand, squeezing it gently. “I know, baby. That’s the toughest part. But, we’ll be back before you know it.”

I smile back at him. “Though I’m so excited to see Europe! I’ve never been.”

“I’m glad that your first experience there is with me.” He grins and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. “But if we keep standing here we’ll never make it to our flight.”

“Right!” I’m suddenly alert, eyes bright and he laughs softly at the eager look on my face.

“Come along, Ms. London. Our horse and carriage awaits!”

-

Our “horse and carriage” are first class seats in the largest airplane I’ve ever been on. Usually, I’m fidgeting around in my seat on airplanes, trying to find the spot that is the least uncomfortable while trying not to disturb the sleeping man beside me. This time, I’m in a large seat that feels more like a couch with as much room as I want to incline it. There’s about a foot of space between my chair and Brian’s. And you can set the temperature on the seat while it gives you a massage. There’s a TV screen in front of me playing Sex and the City and the stewardess has gone around at least ten times in the past hour offering glasses of champagne and truffles. Geez. So this is how the other side lives.

Brian has gone to sit by Nick for a while and I can hear their conversation about basketball filtering through the snores of Kevin. I fidget with the pillow behind my head until its fluffy enough and relax against my seat. Outside the small cabin window, it’s nighttime and the stars are out. As a child, I always used to think we were soaring right above the moon and that if I could reach out, I could catch a star. As I recall the memory, my eyes start to feel heavy and I could feel my body drifting off. Right before my eyes fully close, I see a pair of baby blues gazing at me then feel a light kiss against my temple. And then I fall into a deep sleep, dreaming of soaring above the clouds and tiptoeing from one star to the next with not a care in the world…

-

I’m startled awake by the sound of urgent voices, all hushed and secretive. I sit up, frowning and let my brain catch up, realizing that I’m still in the airplane and it’s still dark outside. I look around and notice that the other guys have left their seats and the voices are coming from the back of the airplane where the group and management have huddled at a table. I stand up, still feeling groggy and run a hand through my hair. My eyes lock with Brian’s, his eyebrows furrowed and worry evident in his eyes. The others follow his gaze and they all have the same worried look on their faces. I feel a jolt of panic and stand up straight as he approaches me, waiting for the news.

“Brian, what is it?” I ask, my voice filled with concern.

He sighs and sits me back down, taking the seat next to mine. “We just got word from Detective Brady that Rooney arrived in Sweden yesterday, the first stop for us.”

Something in the pit of my stomach jumps to my throat and my mouth drops open, but no sound comes out. Finally, I take a sharp intake of breath as I feel all the blood drain from my face. “Oh my God, Brian-“

“Don’t worry, we have security waiting for us at the airport. We have security here and they’ll be following us all the way to our hotel. No one’s going to touch you.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, collecting my thoughts for a few seconds. When I open them, he’s staring at me with that same worried look on his face. “Then why do you look scared?” I ask softly, swallowing the lump in my throat.

His face changes, his eyebrows raised. He takes my hand. “I’m scared of what I’ll do or what it’ll do to me if anything ever happened to you,” he whispers. I swallow, trying to keep my breath steady.

“Were… did Detective Brady have any lead as to why Rooney would be in Sweden… other than…” I trail off, not trusting my emotions to bring it up.

Brian shakes his head, his face downcast. “Apparently he has family there but… it’s just too big of a coincidence. We can’t assume, but we also have to take every precaution.”

I nod slowly and sink back down into my seat. I’m aware of the pairs of eyes still on us and I look up to give them all a reassuring smile. It’s fine… I’m fine. It’s ok.

“Are you okay?” Brian’s voice is gentle, careful. I look at him and his blue eyes are studying me carefully, his brows still furrowed.

I nod again, this time a bit more confidence in my movements. I push my hair back and tilt my chin up. “Everything’s going to be okay,” I tell him. “Nothing’s happened, and it won’t. We just have to trust and believe that. I’m safe.”

His eyebrows raise and I can tell he’s slightly taken aback by my reply. “Yeah, baby… you’re right.” His voice is slightly raspy; maybe from lack of sleep or the stress of tonight. He sighs and leans his forehead against the palm of my hands. “Thank you for being so positive throughout all of this.”

I lift his chin up so that we’re eye to eye and my gaze doesn’t leave his. “That’s all we can do. We can’t let this affect us. We just have to keep going.”

His face softens then and he leans up to give me a sweet kiss on the lips. “This is why I love you,” he whispers.

I smile at this and squeeze his hands. “We’ll get through this together.”

-

My eyes flutter open at the touch of someone’s hand on my elbow. I jump up in my seat, startled out of a nightmare and grip at the armrests with sweaty hands.

“Baby, it’s just me.” I’m staring into familiar blue eyes and I instantly relax at his soft voice. “It’s okay, it’s just me.” He gives me a reassuring smile and I rest my hand against my chest, willing my heartbeat to slow down. “Look out the window,” he tells me softly.

I shift in my seat and realize that we’re completely stopped on the ground. I turn back to look at him, my heart soaring with excitement. “We’re in Stockholm?”

He grins at the look on my face and nods. “Get ready for your first experience on tour, baby.”

My “first experience” on tour ended up being a mini attack of a mob of about a hundred girls waiting at the airport lobby. Of course, I didn’t feel it as much because obviously they weren’t there for me but I got to see firsthand at what a throng of adolescent girls could do. I was surprised at how familiar this situation was to the guys and had to remind myself that they’ve been dealing with this for years. It was strange to see signs professing their love for Brian and a few in tears at the sight of him. Though, it was a good strange feeling. I haven’t gotten used to it yet, the thought that girls would give an arm and a leg just to hug him.

“Oh please, you cried at the sight of me too,” Brian had joked on the way to the hotel.

“Yeah, I recall that now. Cried from irritation at Asshole Neighbour,” I’d joked back, eliciting a laugh from Nick.

I was in absolute awe in the car, staring up at the magnificent and antique buildings as we passed. Brian would point some out to me and tell me historical facts as well as random memories from past travels here. I listened eagerly, still not believing that I was actually finally outside of Canada and seeing the world. I was speechless, to the say the least, when we arrived at our hotel, the Grand Hotel Stockholm facing waterfront right across the Royal Palace.

“Oh… geez,” I gush as I stare up at the magnificent glass chandeliers in the main foyer. It was extravagant, classy, and so breathtakingly elegant. I felt like I was in one of those old fashioned movies in the 1940’s with my aristocrat husband.

My thoughts are interrupted by a deep, kind voice behind me. “How are you liking Stockholm so far, London?” It’s Kevin, and his handsome face is set into a genuine smile beaming down at me.

“I…” I trail off, really not knowing what to say. “It’s a dream come true. It’s absolutely beautiful.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far. We have a meet and greet as well as a press conference later today, but hopefully you get the chance to take a boat out on the water. It’s absolutely amazing at night.”

I nod. “That sounds perfect.”

“Ma’am, are these your suitcases here?” I turn around to see a tall man with wavy blonde hair and adorned in a bellman uniform standing behind me, motioning to some unfamiliar suitcases beside him.

“I’ll see you later, London,” Kevin calls out behind me and I wave at him as he follows security toward the elevators.

“No, those aren’t mine. Thank you,” I reply politely.

“I apologize ma’am.” He pauses and studies my face carefully. “Canadian?”

I grin at this and nod. “Yeah, how’d you guess?”

“I lived in Montreal for about ten years before moving back home here,” he replied, his face breaking out into a smile. “I can tell a Canadian accent from an American one in an instant.”

I laugh. “Well, you definitely don’t have a Swedish accent. I guess you’ve gotten quite accustomed to Canada.”

He nods. “Yeah, I miss it actually.” A slight blush appears on his cheeks and I raise my eyebrows when he says, “If you’re any indicator, the girls there are absolutely beautiful.”

“Well, thank you,” I say, giving him a smile. Just then, I hear someone clear their throat behind me and I immediately know who it is.

“You ready to go up to the room now, baby?” He’s beside me instantaneously, his hand at the small of my back and giving the bellman a tight smile. “We have all our luggages being sent up,” Brian informs him, who in turn nods back. “Thanks for all your help.”

“It was nice meeting you,” I call behind my shoulder.

“Have a great stay at the hotel, ma’am.”

When the elevator doors close, I can tell that Brian is glancing sideways at me. I shift on my feet beside him. “I don’t like you flirting with the hotel staff,” he mutters and I stare at him incredulously.

“Do not pull Asshole Neighbour on me now.”

The corners of his mouth twitches and I can tell he’s trying not to smile. He shrugs. “You fell for Asshole Neighbour as well as Brian Littrell.”

I roll my eyes at him. “I wasn’t flirting.”

“Did you roll your eyes at me?” He glares down at me and I glare back.

“What if I did?”

He stares at me for a few more seconds before grabbing my face and planting a hard kiss on my lips. “You are so difficult, Ms. Cartier.” Then he grins. “This is going to be an interesting tour with you around.”

I wink at him. “Very.”

-

“This is our hotel room?”

“Yes, why?” Brian laughs as he follows behind me. “Does it meet London Cartier’s standards?”

“My standards are a bed with, hopefully, clean sheets and maybe even a radio. This…” I paused, taking it all in. “This is a house within a hotel building!” I run my hand against the silk sheet of the king sized bed, where a basket of fine Swedish chocolates and a bottle of iced wine are presented at the foot of it. “This is bigger than my house.” I gush as I walk around the bed, taking it all in.

There’s a seating area across the room, where plush red velvet couches circle a large round coffee table where a beautiful arrangement of orchids are placed. A big screen TV is turned on to a welcome screen showing beautiful and popular tourist attractions of Stockholm. I make my way into the bathroom and flick on the lights. I can’t help the gasp that escapes my lips. There’s a cream marble hot tub in the corner surrounded by unlit candles and complimentary bottles of oils and lotions. The floor is dark cracked stoned that match the walls, and the stand-up shower is all beautiful clear glass. The counter tops are marble, with steel fixtures and a large hand-washing basin. Brian is still standing by the entryway, watching me carefully as I walk out of the bathroom dumbfounded. I walk toward a doorway across the room in-between the bed and the seating area. It’s complimented by grand floor-to-ceiling dark red velvet curtains, where a white frame peaks through that are adorned with intricate spiral carvings. I grab the gold doorknob and pull the door open, revealing a breathtaking view of the waterfront.

I rest my hand against my heart, feeling it beat against my chest. I’ve never felt more alive, being in another place like this, looking across the river to the Royal Palace. I’m in Sweden. Sweden. There are several large boats and yachts docked at the pier and I can hear the laughter of fishermen from here. The sky is blue, the sun is bright and a light breeze pushes the hair away from my face. I close my eyes and breathe in.

“Get used to it,” Brian says softly behind me and I feel his arms circle around my waist, his chin resting against my shoulder. “I’m going to show you the world, Ms. Cartier.” 

After a late lunch, we head to the concert venue for the boys’ four o’clock call time for sound check. This is my first Backstreet Boys concert, ever. Apparently, I wasn’t allowed to have previews during rehearsals. “I want you to see it full out and experience opening night. The real deal.” Brian had said to me.

Once we’re at the venue, I make sure to make my introductions to the crew and the dancers. The venue is huge, seating about 8,300 people and every seat is sold out. “It sold out within five minutes,” Michelle, one of the stage managers informs me as we take a seat in the far back by the exit doors.

“That’s insane!” I exclaim, trying to imagine more than 8,000 bodies occupying every seat in this arena. I look toward the stage, where Brian is now singing in to the mic. His gentle voice fills the stadium and I can’t help the smile on my face. The fans with VIP tickets to sound check have all but squished themselves against the metal barricade, their screams echoing all the way to where we were sitting. Just then, I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around to see a little girl about the age of twelve smiling shyly at me.

“Excuse me, but are you London?” she asks and I sit up, racking my brain as to where I’ve seen or met this girl before.

I smile gently at her. “Yes, I am.”

“You’re Brian’s girlfriend,” she gushes, her face breaking into an ear-to-ear grin. “Can I have a picture with you, please?”

Dumbfounded, I glance at Michelle who instantly takes the girl’s camera and nods at me to pose with her. “What’s your name?” I ask as I stand up and walk around the chair to stand beside her.

“My name is Linda,” she replies and the name tugs at my heart. Linda, my dear friend back in Banff. Oh how I miss her. Those days seem a lifetime away.

“Ready?” Michelle asks, holding the camera up. She snaps a couple of pictures and Linda takes it from her excitedly.

“I can’t believe I met you! My friends are going to be so jealous!” she squeals and gives me a hug. After she bounds away with her Mom, who is patiently waiting to head down to watch sound check, I’m left in disbelief.

“Okay, did that just happen?” I take my seat again and look over at Michelle who’s smirking at me.

“You’re kind of the new girlfriend of one of the members of the hottest boy bands right now,” she replies, chuckling. “Don’t you read the tabloids?”

“I’m in the tabloids?!” I shake my head and sink down into my seat. “Brian won’t let me read them for now.”

She shrugs. “Typical Brian.”

Before I could process this in my mind, I feel another tap on my shoulder and I turn around. This time, it’s not just one girl but a group of five who all look very eager to see me. Before I know it, a line-up has formed. A line-up. For me. I’m taking endless amounts of pictures now with girls who are so excited and eager to meet… me. London Cartier, no one special. Now this could get a little getting used to.

After sound check is done, I’m escorted backstage by security. Brian is in his dressing room, sitting on a stool and strumming softly on a guitar. He glances up when the door opens and our eyes meet. He looks gorgeous, as ever, in dark jeans and a hoodie. He sets the guitar aside and motions for me to come to him.

“I saw that little line-up you generated,” he murmurs, pulling me in between his legs and wrapping his arms around me.

“Yeah, I still can’t believe it.”

He smiles. “I don’t think one can ever get used to the fame.”

“Fame…” I mull this new concept around in my head for a few seconds. “I don’t think I’m famous.”

He grins. “Says the girl who made about twenty or so girls happy today just with a couple pictures.”

“Says the man who’s known around the world.”

He chuckles softly, then his face changes to a serious one. “Just … be careful,” he tells me slowly. “Not all of the fans are that … welcoming.”

I nod and wrap my arms around his neck. “Well, so far so good. Your fans are amazing.”

Just then, there’s a knock on the door of his dressing room. “Sorry to interrupt you guys,” Michelle says, poking her head in. “But you’re due for costume, Bri.”

“Alright, thanks Michelle.” He focuses his attention back to me and smiles. “Duty calls, my lady. I’ll see you out there.” He gives me a wink before sliding off the stool and walking towards the door.

“Break a leg, baby,” I call out after him.

“Maybe two if we’re lucky.” With that, he turns to grin goofily at me before leaving the room.

-

At the end of the night, my voice is completely gone and my ears are ringing from the screams of thousands of girls. The concert was indescribable. Amazing voices, the dancing was entertaining, and the musicians onstage have got to be some of the most talented people. Needless to say, my first Backstreet Boys concert was unforgettable – especially being able to watch it front row and center with Brian grinning and winking at me occasionally.

At the end of the night though, I’m absolutely exhausted. I can’t believe it was just our first day in Stockholm and everything that’s happened so far. The boys, though, are wired and hyper. I knew the plan for tonight was for them to attend an after party at a club downtown. I was under strict instruction not to go, as it would be too much of a risk for my safety. Especially now that we know Rooney is in town.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here?” Brian asks, concern thick in his voice when we reach our hotel room.

“Yes, Brian,” I say truthfully. “You’re under contract and, even if you weren’t, I’d want you to go and meet your fans. I’ll be fine here. Besides, I’m so exhausted that all I want to do is just sleep!”

He sighs. “You’re right. Okay, but I’ll be back before you know it.”

I smile at him. “Bri, just enjoy yourself. It’s not every day that you’re here and your fans who probably paid a crapload of money to go to the after party deserve your one hundred percent.”

“You’re amazing.” He gives me a peck on the lips and engulfs me in a tight hug. “The car is waiting for us downstairs. I’ll give you a call later just to check up.” He gives me another quick peck on the lips. “Sleep tight, baby. I’ll see you soon.”

I laugh and push him toward the door. “Yeah yeah, now go!”

Once he’s gone, I step out of my shoes and throw myself onto the gigantic bed, falling neatly into the soft pillows and duvet. It feels so good that I don’t even bother changing out of my clothes and soon find myself drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

-

I wake up feeling warm and really, really thirsty. I sit up groggily, my hair all over my face, and my throat dry as a cactus. It takes me a moment to collect my thoughts and remember where I am. I stand up, blinking my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I glance over at the clock on the bedside table – it’s just a little past two in the morning. I also notice the red light blinking on the phone, indicating that I had a missed call. Brian. Sleepily, I change out of my clothes and unpack a pair of flannel shorts and a tank top to wear to bed. I open the balcony door slightly, letting in some night air that cools my hot skin instantly. I grab a bottled water from the fridge and down half of it, relieving my dry throat. I jump when the loud ring of the phone cuts the air – it must be Brian again.

“Hello?” I answer after the second ring. It’s front desk.

“Sorry to bother you this late ma’am, but there is someone waiting for you downstairs,” a polite female voice with a thick accent speaks on the other line. “She says she is an old friend of yours.”

I frown. “An old friend of mine?” A girl? I decide to call security for this one. “Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”  

I hang up, wrap a robe around myself, and peak out the door into the dim hallway. No security. Hm. I walk back into the hotel room and, a few seconds later, come out changed into a pair of sweats, a t-shirt, and runners. I walk quietly down the hallway, poking my head around the corner to see if any of the security team are around. They must all be downstairs. I decide to head down to the front desk to see my visitor. It should be safe, I decide. Security should be there and, besides, the bellman and front desk workers will be there too.

When I reach the main floor, sure enough there are a few maintenance workers, people coming back from the club lingering around in the lobby, the bellman escorting late travelers through, and three representatives behind the front desk. Ok good. Lots of people, I feel safe. I walk over to front desk to inquire and the young girl points to a figure standing by the revolving doors. I walk towards her, her back facing me. She’s wearing a long, tan trench coat, which is odd because it’s pretty warm outside, black slacks and high heeled boots. Her light hair is pulled up into a tight bun, her hands in her pockets. Finally, I reach her and gently tap on her shoulder.

“You were expecting me?” I spoke up and she turns at my touch. Her face is pretty, but her eyes are unfriendly and her face shows no sign of a smile.

“You dare try to escape from my father,” she hisses and I’m thrown back hard onto the floor as the back of her hand strikes my face.