Nick found himself sitting in yet another hotel room. He had been in many throughout his life. So many in fact, he had lost count.

Nick lay on the bed staring at the wall. Despite having the heat on, the room felt so cold.

Right now, somewhere his sister funeral was taking place. For reasons he couldn’t even understand. He couldn’t be there.

It broke his heart to be away from the service. His younger brother however had promised to give his love to the right people.

A tear rolled down his cheek and fell onto the already moist pillow.

He tried not to relive the phone call he had gotten from his father but he couldn’t help it.

“W- What do you mean she’s gone?” Deep down he knew what his father meant but he wouldn’t let himself believe it.

“She’s dead Nick.”

A gasp like cry escaped his lips making everyone around him look at him.

“I’m so sorry.”

“No!” He cried as his knees gave out and he collapsed on the floor.

“I wish I were lying.” Bob told him.

Suddenly Nick felt a hand on his back. It belonged to Brian. “Nicky?”

“Les- Leslie…” He whimpered as tears filled his eyes.

“Nick?” His face was full of worry.

“She dead.” As he said it his cell phone slipped from his hand and fell onto the cold cement floor.

As Nick snapped out of his thoughts he realized tears where falling widely from his eyes.

He had to stop crying but he just couldn’t. His cell phone ringing had snapped him from his thoughts however.

“Hello.” He picked it up trying not to let the caller know he had been crying.

“It’s done Nicky.” Aaron sounded really upset.

Nick could hear a small child crying in the background. “Mama” the baby cried.

He took a deep breath suddenly placing the voice as belong to Alyssa, his niece.

He could speak.

“Can I see you?” Aaron asked.

“Air…” Nick whined a bit. He wasn’t sure if he could handle seeing his siblings. He knew he’d have to be strong for them and he wasn’t sure he could be.

“Please, I need you.” Nick could hear him fighting tears.

“I can’t see you guys…” His voice cracked a little.

“No, just me Nick.”

He took a deep breath. He had no idea if he could handle it but Aaron needed him. He couldn’t tell Aaron no.

“Alright bub. When? Where?”

“As soon as I can get to you. I’m hurting.” Nick picked up on a whimper in his little brother’s voice.

“Alright, be strong.” Nick encouraged. “There’s a coffee shop near my hotel. I’ll text you the info. Just call when you get to Manhattan.”

“Yeah…” He sniffled a bit. “Ok, thanks.”

After they hung up Nick rested his cell against his forehead. He hated all of this. He shouldn’t be having to help his brother though the death of their sister. It was insane.

After a moment Nick collected himself enough to text Aaron the approximate address of the coffee shop.

After another while of just laying perfect still on the bed Nick forced himself to get up. He had to shower. He hadn’t showered since the day before Leslie passed. It had just ceased to feel important.

In the shower Nick turned the water as hot as he could stand. It almost burned but he welcomed the discomfort. His flesh turned pink as beads of waters dripped wildly down his face.  They seemed to mask the tears that he allowed himself to cry. He had to get all his crying out of the way before meeting Aaron.

As the water began to lose its warmth he finally decided to go on with washing up. By the time he finished the water was ice cold. He didn’t mind it much. It wakened him up a bit and helped him feel a little more energized.

Quite some time passed. By the time Aaron called Nick had finished getting ready to meet him.

He let his brother know he would see him soon and set out for the coffee shop.

When he got there he took a seat at a small table in the corner and waited. He hope he could stay strong once his brother arrived.

Finally he spotted the younger blonde walking in the door. He looked around aimlessly for a moment before spotting him.

As their eyes connected Nick stood and Aaron rushed towards him. 

“Nick.” Aaron sounded relieved as his arms came around Nick waist.

“Hey bub.” Nick forced a smile hugging him back.

When Aaron pulled away from the hug he looked at Nick and forced a smile too.

“Coffee?” Nick nodded toward the counter.

“I uh… can’t… “ Aaron looked away. “I don’t have enough money right now.”

“I got it.” Nick patted his shoulder and walked with him to get drinks.

There was no conversation other than to order their drinks but as they walked away to sit back down Nick opened up a conversation, “So… how was it?”

“It was nice. Really sad but… nice.” He nodded.

“I woulda been there but…”

“I know… she knows too. I told her.” Aaron  explained.

Nick could only smile. His brother was a bit of an odd ball but he always seemed to mean well.

Silence fell for a moment. Nick sipped his hot drink as Aaron tapped his foot and seemed to space out.

“Alyssa… Alyssa made it real hard. She kept looking at Les and screaming for her. Mike kept trying to calm her down but started getting shitty when she wouldn’t stop screaming ‘mama’ and so Ginger took her out. Even then you could still hear her crying.”

Nick swallowed hard. He could only imagine what Alyssa was thinking… seeing her mom lying there but not responding. His heart broke for his young niece.

“Who has her now?” Nick asked.

“Well, I figured Mike would take her ya know but when I left dad was putting her in their car. Mike left by himself. Ya know, he didn’t say much to anyone.”

“That’s strange.” Nick commented. It seemed rather out of character.

“Angel thought so too.” The younger Carter brother ran his fingers over a tattoo on his arm. It was an image of an angel he had gotten for his twin.

“Think you’ll get one for Leslie?” Nick had to change the topic even if only for a moment.

“Eventually.”

“Kind of addicting huh?” Nick smiled. He remembered when he got his first tattoo. Aaron told him he was crazy. Now here Aaron was with more tattoos then him.

Aaron could only grin and nod.

Nick stared down at the steam rising from his drink.

“Think we’ll ever be ok?” Aaron asked making the mood shifting once again.

“Yeah, it’ll take a while but we’ll be ok.” Nick nodded.

“I hope so. Right now I just… feel kinda empty.”

“Me too bub.” Nick took another sip of his drink. “Angel seem to feel the same?” Nick wanted to know. He and his baby sister didn’t talk much but he still loved her very much.

“I dunno. She seemed hard to read. I dunno if she’s just kinda blocking the emotions or if she’s using to help block the emotions.” Aaron decided to be honest.

The news was hurtful for Nick. He hated that his siblings had so many issues.

“You aren’t using again are you?” Nick worried.

“No, I’ve wanted to pretty bad though.”

“I think you should get more help with that. I’m proud of you for fighting to stay clean but trust me. It gets harder. Especially during times like these.” Nick wanted to just level with Aaron. He wanted his remaining siblings to get better. Burying one was one too many.

Aaron glanced away from Nick and nodded.

“I’m serious Bro. I’m always here if you need help being talked outta using but, a professional would be much better. It can’t hurt to just look into it.”

Aaron looked to his brother, “I will, I promise.”

“Please don’t lie to me. I’m not trying to be a bitch, I just care. I don’t want any more of you guys dying.”

“I don’t wanna die Nick. I’m looking into getting help. No lies.” He nodded and smiled when Nick seemed to look relieved.

For the first time since that terrible phone call Nick felt like everything really truly would be ok. His biggest hope in the loss of his sister was that her death would speak to his siblings and encourage them to get their lives together.

Aaron seemed to be trying and that held hope. At least it did for Nick.

“Enough about me; how are you?” Aaron asked.

Nick shrugged, “Been spacing out a lot. I guess just not letting myself focus on it.”

Aaron nodded.

Before either brother could speak again Nick’s cell began to ring. His face looked confused.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked.

“It’s my lawyer.”

“Nick, I hope you know I normally wouldn’t bother you during times like this.”

“Of course, What’s wrong?” Nick asked the man on the phone.

“Well…” He paused.

Nick took the silent moment to shift the phone from one ear to the other.

“I was contacted by a lawyer in Canada. She was your sisters’ lawyer.”

Nick breath caught in his throat. It sent chills down his spine.

“Nick, your sister had a will made up a few months ago and according to this lady, you’re in it. She also says there is a letter from Leslie for you.”

Nick coughed a little as he choked on his own saliva. They news struck him.

“What’s up?” Aaron whispered looking a bit worried.

“I’m in some kinda will Leslie made.” Nick explained then got back on the phone.

“I’d like to meet with you as soon as possible regarding this. I’m having the letter and will over-nighted to my office.”

Nick ran a hand over his face and let it rest over his mouth. He wasn’t sure what to make of all this. It was almost too much to handle. He wondered if Leslie perhaps knew she was going to die or if this was a freak twist of fate.

“Mr. Carter?”

“Sorry, I…” Nick didn’t know what to say.

“I understand, all this has to be very hard. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you.” He almost whispered.

“Can you meet with me tomorrow? I know this is bad timing but… I assure you, it’s very important.”

Nick now scratched his head; he felt frustration deep within himself. “What is this about? You obviously know.”

“I’d be more comfortable speaking about this in person.”

The response made Nick angry however he knew his lawyer had to be telling the truth. He’d been with his firm long enough to know he needed to trust his word.

“Fine, when?” Nick seemed to demand.

“How is ten? That’ll give me time to look over the will and verify that it is legit.”

Nick took a deep breath and then nodded, “Alright.”

“See you then.” Quickly the lawyer hung up before Nick could say goodbye.

“Damn it.” Nick cursed softly. He wanted to yell it but knew better than to make scene.

“Nicky?” Aaron questioned.

“I’m sorry. All this… Everything… it’s just… too much.” Nick looked away from his little brother and swallowed hard doing his best to hold himself together.

“What did he say?”

“Not much, just that Leslie made a will a few months back and I’m in it. Oh, there’s a letter too. He wouldn’t say much else but that just tells me it’s either really bad or really big.”

“When are you gonna find out?” Aaron asked now sipping at his drink again.

“Tomorrow, ten.”

“If you need me to go…” Aaron trailed off. He knew Nick would say no but he needed his big brother to know he was there for him.

“Thanks but I’ll manage.”

Aaron nodded.

“So, anyway…” Nick shook his head a bit and took a calm breath. He needed to change the topic. He couldn’t hold in the tears and anger anymore.

“Yeah.” Aaron followed his cue and pushed nick’s drink toward him a bit.

“How’s the new album going?” Nick asked taking a sip of his drink.

“Well, the song writing is going great. The music is coming together. I’m proud of it. Just don’t have a clue when I’ll be able to afford to finish making the actual album.”

Nick nodded, “Ya know, I could probably help with that.”

“Really?” Aaron suddenly forgot all about being sad.

“Yeah, I think we can work out some kind of deal.” Nick too seemed focused in on something totally different now. He needed it.

“What did you have in mind? I’ll do anything. This Broadway stuff is good money but it aint cutting it.”

“You get help, therapy, whatever you wanna call it… like I’m asking. Stay with it till they say your good to end it and ill back your album fully. I’ll even ask the fellas about letting you open for us here and there.”

“Deal, whatever you want.” Aaron quickly agreed. The offer seemed too good to be true. He wasn’t gonna let it slip by.

“Alright, find someone you like and we’ll go from there.” Nick smiled.

Aaron nodded suddenly feeling much happier.

Nick didn’t mind helping him. Deep down he figured it would be good to help him cause their deal meant Aaron getting much needed help.

They spent the next hour talking about anything except Leslie. It was good for both of them. They had been so upset by her death that they hadn’t smiled or felt any sense of happiness. Being together, talking, laughing was perfect medicine.

When it was time to part ways they promised to keep in touch knowing that they needed to stick together now more than anything.

Nick headed back to his hotel where he rented a few movies to help him keep ahold of the good mood he found himself in.

Of course, a few hours later when night fell and the tv was switched off sleep wasn’t possible. His mind wouldn’t shut up.

Morning came much to slowly, Nick felt absolutely exhausted. He had to get up however. He had to go to his lawyer. He had to know what was going on.

After getting ready to go Nick got coffee before heading off to his meeting. He needed the coffee. He didn’t care if it was bad for his heart.

A while later as he entered his lawyers office he took a deep breath.

“Hello, he is on phone call. Have a seat and he’ll come get you soon.” A receptionist smiled and informed him.

“Thanks.” He nodded and sat down.

His knee nervously bounced. He was clueless as to what any of this was really about. Honestly, he felt a little scared.

Sipping slowly on his coffee he tried to take some calm deep breaths.

“Nickolas?” He heard his name.

“Mr. Shooter.” Nick stood and shook his hand.

“Let’s go into my office.” He nodded and let Nick walk ahead of him.

“I couldn’t sleep last night. I’m so worried about what this is and heartbroken about losing my sister.” Nick confessed as he sat down.

Mr. Shooter nodded and took a seat on the other side of his desk. He pulled a thick folder off the top of a large stack on sat it in front of him. “Well, from what I gather you have every right to be worried. I think this is going to come as a huge shock to you.”

The news made Nick’s heart race.

“I think you should probably read this first.” Mr. Shooter handed him an envelope that seemed to have never been sealed. Inside was a folded up piece of paper.

Nick sat his coffee down on the desk and pulled out the paper.

“It’s a letter from Leslie to you.” Mr. Shooter explained.

“Nick, if you’re reading this then you already know I'm gone. I know you're probably hurting right now but, I have something I want you to do.” Nick began to read silently.

“First maybe I should explain a few things. I’m really embarrassed to admit this but, Alyssa is not Mike’s daughter. I cheated on him and got pregnant. When I told Mike he was really angry but said he’d try to work through all this. He demanded a DNA test so we could be sure if he was her father or not. When the results came back that he wasn’t… he flipped. He told me he would try to calm down and figure out how to fix us but that I needed to leave for a while. That’s why I moved out and have been staying with Dad.”

Nick stopped to wipe his hand over his face. His heart was still beating fast and now his hands were a bit shaky. Still, he kept reading.

“Dad told me I needed to contact Alyssa’s real dad. I tried and he was quick to tell me that he didn’t give a shit about Alyssa and I needed to keep her the fuck away from him. It got me thinking, what happens to my little girl if I die? She’d have no one. I couldn’t sleep. It was a huge problem that I needed to fix.”

Nick swallowed hard. The letter was taking a turn in a direction he wasn’t fully comfortable with.

“I decided to make a will. I knew I could rest easier if I knew she had someone to take care of her. I just had to pick someone that I could trust completely. She is my life Nick. Who could I trust with my life? There was only one answer to that question… you.”

He dropped the paper in his lap as a sobbing gasp escaped his lips.

“Nick?” Mr. Shooter questioned.

“Me?” He choked out.

“Keep reading.” The lawyer encouraged.

Nick took a deep breath and kept reading the letter.

“Nick, I know this will scare you. I know you think you aren’t ready but believe me… you are. I know believing me is not an easy thing to do. I need you to though Nick. Agree or not you’ve almost always been Aaron’s dad in his eyes. You have more than what it takes to care for Alyssa. She needs you.”

A tear fell from Nick’s eye. This was such a hard pill to swallow.

“I know you won’t let me down Nicky. I love you, Leslie  P.S. Don’t let Alyssa forget me.”

Nick sat the letter on his lawyers desk and began to quietly cry.

“Nickolas?”

“I can’t do this. Everyone is gonna hate me. I couldn’t even be at her funeral. Now I’m supposed to be a father to her baby?”

“You’re legally allowed to refuse custody.”

“I am?” Nick looked up at his lawyer.

“Yes but, she’d go into the system Nick. There is no guarantee where she would go.”

Nick swallowed and wiped away his tears. More fell to replace them.

“I don’t know what to do?”

“Well, my faith leads me to advise you to follow your heart. Don’t worry what your family will think. Focus on what Alyssa needs. Her life is in your hands.” Mr. Shooter took the letter back and placed it in the folder.

“She needs a good life, cared for, loved.”

“Can you provide those?” Mr. Shooter asked in a serious tone.

Nick just looked at him as he wiped away more tears.

“Nothing else matters then.”