Once I knew Nick left the room for sure I dropped to knees, and crawled into a ball in the corner of the shower. I wad crying hard, trying to catch my breath. No man has ever begged for my love like that. The thing is he doesn't need to beg, I love him. I love him in the same big way. I don't want to break hearts, especially break his relationship on his already broken family that is on the mend. Honestly, I can't even understand why Aaron asked me to marry. I wasn't trying to make it obvious, but you could there was a slight strain. I was going tell him once we got home after new years. Now its too late. I finally got the strength to get up. I shut the shower off and went to crawl into my bed.

As I laid in bed I realized that I haven't cried since my aunt passed a few years back. I hugged my pillow tight, and thought of me and Nick that night in the hotel room, how we first, his smile, his eyes, his warmth. I love him, but there is obstacles that can't be fought or overlooked. In deep thought, I drifted into sleep.