"Kevin, please don't leave." "Allison we can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this." He said from across the room. "But I love you." I whispered to him. "Baby I know you do and I love you as well. But we can't keep hiding like this. People are bound to find out sooner or later." He walked back over to me, took my hands and walked us over to the edge of the bed to sit down before he continued. "This has been going on way to long. We both have families." I just looked at him with tears forming in my eyes. I know what we were doing was wrong but being in love with two men... "Do you still love AJ?" "Kevin of course I do, but I also love you. I can't lose you. Please, don't... don't do this." I said freely letting the tears fall.

I've been married to Alex for almost two years now and we have a little girl together. I've been having an affair with Kevin almost two and a half years. So yes what we've been doing is a sin. I didn't want it to ever end. I was happy with the way things were but I'm starting to think Kevin wasn't happy. "Ally, I have to do this. I have to do this now or it'll end up badly." "But we've been together over two years. Why now? Why after all this?" I said not wanting to let his hand go. Pulling his hand out of mine he stood up. Then he whispered. "I told AJ the truth." He said as he dropped his head and I shot my eyes up at him in surprise. "You what?! You distroy my marriage for your beneft?!" I said getting rightfully upset. "No, I didn’t distroy just your marriage. I distroyed mine as well." "Then you don’t love me do you." "I told you that I do... I’m not ending this because of me. I’m doing this to save our marriages." "But Kevy, my marriage was fine to begin with." He just shook his head no. "If your marriage was fine... If my marriage was fine... we wouldn’t have started this affair in the beginning."

I wanted him to tell me that I was just dreaming. That what he was saying wasn’t true. But he was right. My life with Alex was a lie. Not that I had been faking it or anything. It was all just a lie. He was still standing at the door before he went on. "Kris and I are heading back to Kentucky. We sold the house in LA." He said not looking at me. "Ok." Was all I said as I also nodded my head. "I will miss you." "I’ll miss you too." I whispered back. Just then there was a soft knock on the door. Kevin opened the door slowly. "Hey Jay." After hearing that my head shot up fast. It’s also when Kevin let him into the room. "I’ll leave you two to talk." Then he turned to me. "Bye Ally." He said then left the room.

He just stood there with his hands deep in his pockets and stared at the floor. "I’m sorry Alex." I whispered breaking the silence. "No your not." He whispered back. "I can’t believe you. You were with him before we got married. You took an oath to be faithful to me." "I know." He stayed silent for a while then said; "Do you love him?" He asked glancing over at me. All I could do was nod as I started crying again. "Do you still or have you ever loved me?" "Alex, I have always loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you." "But you still love him." "But it’s over. He want’s us to save or marriage." He turned to look at me. "Do you?" "Yes. If you do." That’s when he turned away. "Alex...?" I said as I reached out to him. He just shook his head. "I don’t know anymore. Maybe I should just take Izzy and leave." "Alex no... You can’t do that to me. She’s my little girl too." "Really? Are you so sure about that?" He yelled. "Yes." I whispered.

I was a horrible person for what I’ve done all these years and I needed to fix it. Fix it all. "Alex, I love you with all my heart. And that is not a lie. It’s far from it. What I did... What Kevin did... it wasn’t right. I agree. This whole thing between Kevin and myself... it’s over. Over for good. I promise." I said as I got up and placed a hand on his arm. "Baby I promise you. I promise you my life. But if you truly don’t believe me then I’m willing to sign divorce papers. If that’s what you really want. I’ll do it." I said then pulled back and started for the door. Glancing over at him he still had his back to me. I sighed. "I’ll leave and head home. I’ll just pack up my things and leave. I’ll be gone before you get back." I opened the door then looked back one last time. Then I turned back then walked out the door.

"Ally wait"

I stopped before entering the hallway of the hotel. "I'm leaving Alex. I know it's what you want. I know in your heart you still love me and I broke it. I broke your trust. I love you Alex." I said walking away. "Good bye my love." Reaching the elevator and pressing the down button I looked over to see Nick standing there at his room door. Looking into his eyes he looked disappointed. "Where you going?" He finally asks. "Back to LA." I replied as my tears just kept falling. "Is everything ok? I mean between you and AJ." I just shook my head. "No. Everythings not ok." I said as I kept pressing the button for the elevator to hurry it up. "Well, I'm always here it you wanna talk to me you know. I'm sure the other guys won't mind lending an ear as well." I looked back over at him and forced a smile. "Thank you, but it's not necessary. Just tell the other... Goodbye for me though." I said as I stepped into the lift.

I've been home a week now packing up all the importent things I had. All the guys had called to check up on me. Except for Alex or Kevin. Brian had told me that things with Alex have taken a turn for the worse. He's been extreamely depressed since I've been gone and that he and Nick caught him down in one of the hotel bars. I've tried calling him a few times but it always went to voicemail. I know he's mad at me and I don't blame him for it. But what he's doing isn't the way to solve it.

Now it's been two month and I've finally got all my things moved out and in to a moving truck to be taken to where ever I go. I was sitting out back thinking about Alex. Missing him so much right now. Picking up there tour schedule I check on where they were now. They were now in New York for two days. Placing the schedule down on the side table I looked over to see Baby our Boxer Mix standing in the door. Calling her over she jumped up and laid her head in my lap. "Baby, when daddy gets home from tour he'll be taking care of you from now on." I said as I was rubbing her head. "No, I'm not." Came a voice behind me.

Looking over towards the door stood Alex. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in New York." "We canceled the last few shows." He said walking over to stand infront of me. "Why?" I asked quietly. "Because of me." He started as I was about to speak. "Let me please finish." "Ok." I nodded then he sighed. "Ally... This whole thing is just a huge mess. I love you. I will always love you. Hell it's the main reason why I married you." Then he sat down next to me before taking my hands in his. He then started playing with the wedding band that I still wore. Then he looked up at me surprised. "You can't take it off can you?" Shaking my head I said; "I can't." "I can't either." He said holding up his left head. "And I also never filed." He said before pulling away. "Alex..." "Yea." "The bar? Why?" "Because I'm an alcoholic." "No, you are a recovering alcoholic. You can stop again." "Do I have a reason to stop?" He questioned me. "Do you want there to be a reason for you to stop?" "I would." He whispered. "Don't go." He asked with pleading eyes. "Are you sure?" "Baby I'm sure. Please." "I'll fix this somehow. I promise. No more Kevin. Just only you. No one else. Ever." I said crying and he was also now crying as well. "I love you." He whispered as I hugged him tight. "God Alex I love you too." I whispered into his neck.

Few nights later the guys were all having a Barbque. And of course we were the one's hosting it. "Alex I'm just gonna say up here. You go have fun." I said from the bed. "Come on you always have fun at these things." He begged. "Alex I can't go. I promised you that I would stay away from him. It would feel weird talking to everyone else but Kev. So go have fun with your brothers. I'll be ok." I said smiling up at him. "Ok. I'll come up later to see how you're doing." He said leaning down then kissing me. "I love you." "I love you as well." I said as he left the room.

About two hours into the party I was sitting out on the terrace and watching everyone. Baylee was chasing Mason and James or was it that Brian was chasing them. I don't even know but it was funny to watch. Howie and Alex stood grill while Nick was in the pool with Lauren. Izzy was playing some game with Kristin, Leigh and Leighanne. I was so enjoying it all that I never heard the knock on the bedroom door. "Ally?" I spun around quickly. "You can't be here!" "I wanted to see you." "Ok you saw me now get out. I mean it Kev." I yelled as he just walked closer. "I miss you. This whole break up was a mistake. I need you back." He whispered as he closed the distance between us. "Kevin you need to stop. I will scream if you don't stop this right now." "Oh baby I love it when you scream." I kept walking backwards away from him as he kept walking forward. I was now back on the terrace where I could see everyboby. "Kevin you don't wanna do this. I finally got my husband back. We're happy again. So please I'm begging you not to do this to me." I said in a fit of tears.

Looking over the railing I looked over at Alex. He was laughing again. Something that I had missed for so long. I just didn't want to lose that again. He was happy. I was happy. That's when I closed my eyes tightly waiting for what ever he was gonna do. After a minute or two whatever it was never came. Opening up my eyes I did find Kevin still in the room though. He was now sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down and his hands on the back of his neck. I also noticed that his eyes were even closed. It just made me look at him confused for the moment. "Kevin?" I whispered as I entered the bedroom. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "What's gotten into you? Why were you acting like that?" "Kris is pregnant."

That got me to take a step back. "Congratulations?" I had to make that a question because I wasn't sure just yet by his reaction. "Thanks." "Kristin is pregnant why aren't you happy? Why were you now out of no where coming on to me? Didn't you always want more kids. Not just Mason?" I asked as I took a seat at the desk across from him. "Yes I do but..." Then he looked over at me with tears in his eyes. "You wanted me to have your baby? I could have never been able to deal with that." "I know... Ally I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this. I loved the times we had. You always made me smile when I saw you. But always seeing you smile more when you were with AJ... I had to step back. I had to let you go." He said trying to hold back his emotions. "I'm grateful for you being be the strong one and stepping back. But you... you need to let go. Move on. Think of your family. Your kids." "It's why I'm here and apologizing for everything." Sighing I finally looked over at him. "I wanna believe you. I do. But it's just to soon. Go to Kentucky. Enjoy life with your family. Just forget about me and move on. I'm begging you." That's when he stood up. I stood up as well before touching his arm. "Kevy." He stood there and glanced over his shoulder. "I do love you but us... It'll never happy again. Maybe in another life time but not now. I'm sorry." "I know." He said leaving the room.

I was just about to turn away from the door when I heard my name. I dropped my head in shame when I heard it was Alex. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "Why? You've got nothing to be sorry for." He said as he placed his hands on my waist to turn me around to face him. "Because I promised you." I whispered as a tear slid down my cheek. Lifting up my face he said. "It's ok baby. I heard what you said to him. It's why I'm not mad at you. I trust you. And I also believe you now." "I meant every word." "I know you did." I pulled away and headed over to the window. "Can you have them go home?" "Are you ok?" I just shook my head no. "Ok. I'll be right back."

Few minutes later Alex came back into the room then gently closed the door behind him. After changing he crawled into bed behind me and pulled me close to his chest. I carefully turned over and hid my face in his chest and cried. "Shhh, baby it's alright." He soothed. "But what if it's not? What if it never ends? I can't keep doing this." "Then we'll keep fighting. You're my girl. My wife. The mother of my child. If it doesn't stop then we'll leave. Hell if I have to I'll leave the group and just go solo. Kevin needs to understand that I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. You're mine and mine only." He said as I looked up at him and smiled. "I love you so much." I said as I touched his face. "I love you to baby. Now let's get some sleep we need to head to mom's tomorrow to pick up Izzy." I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his chest. Then I closed my eyes and sighed in content. Knowing that I now had Alex supporting me in this I knew that everything was going to be just fine.

The End