"Mail for you, Sawyer…”

He sat up in his cell, looking forward to the letters he received from his sister Chloe, while in prison for armed robbery five years ago. Chloe was the one person who stuck with him from his whole family, she visited and called, wrote letters that made him feel wanted. He didn't feel like he belonged in that place, he felt the government was abusing their power once again.

Russell Sawyer harbored a lot of ill feelings for the California police, especially since his own brother Jason was a officer for the LAPD and arrested him when he'd robbed a bank, stealing a car from the parking lot to escape. His family never supported him, except for his dear baby sister Chloe. She was the only one who would even write. He often looked forward to her letters, which came almost weekly. Thinking of his brother and father, he shook his head. He'd never be some stinking pig like them.

"They'll get theirs one day," he chuckled to himself as he opened the letter, but soon his heart sank.

"Oh, my God..."

Dearest Russell,

I'm so sorry I won't get to see you to tell you this myself because by the time you see this letter it will be too late. I am tired of not being happy....I thought I'd found someone to settle down with...someone to help fill my broken heart from when Jamie walked out. I was wrong and knowing this guy just used me makes me so upset....the pain is too much, the distance is too much. Left me like that bastard did. So this is my goodbye dear brother, and I hope the best for you, I hope one day you'll come out a better person.

All my love,

Chloe

 

Russell felt the tears come straight away. His beloved sister had died and it was all because of some rat bastard hurting her...breaking her heart. Just like Jamie. He was about to crinkle up the letter but instead he punched his bed, feeling angry.

Whoever had broken his baby sister's heart would pay. Just like the last guy who'd done it.

He had not yet been charged with Jamie's murder, he knew what he was doing and could hide a body if need be. He went about his chores at the prison, thinking all the time about Chloe. He had just seen her about a month ago and she seemed fine, just a little distant. How long was she depressed for and how bad was it that she contemplated suicide before she followed through?

Russell read the letter once again before bed and noticed it was on Backstreet Boys stationery. He smiled, that band had always made her happy...then it hit him. He knew who had done it.

"You're seeing someone? Tell me all about it. I want to know all about him.”

Chloe smiled and giggled, her brown hair falling in her face the way it always did when she laughed.

"He's wonderful, sweet...and we met in a coffee shop. He's a singer..."

"That's great. You should bring a picture sometime."

She did, but he'd lost that photo a long time ago.

The blonde staring up at him from the paper, it was him.

Russ smiled, as soon as he could get out of this hell hole...this guy would regret ever touching his baby sister.

 

 

***********

 

 

Nick half listened to the television from his bunk, hearing part of a news bulletin. The guys were arguing over something, but he could still hear the program.  

 

“Russell Sawyer... wanted for armed robbery and possible murder…..escaped…..please be advised that this man is dangerous to the public and any information would be appreciated by the local and state police departments at this time….”

 

The television finally shut off and the others were chattering about the news that night.

 

“Goodnight guys.”

 

“Night Kevin.”

 

“Night Howie.”

Nick sat in his bunk on the tour bus, as the others turned off the TV in the back, sighing as he wondered if he could get away with smoking on the bus. He didn't like the taste cigarettes left in his mouth...but the feeling calmed him. It was about the only thing that calmed him down these days with all the drama.

"What are you pouting about this time?" AJ asked, plopping down in the bunk across from Nick and disrupting his thoughts.

"Not pouting. I need a smoke. When are we stopping?"

"We'll be there by morning, your little habits can wait until then." Kevin snapped. Nick rolled his eyes, something he was doing a lot lately. He always thought Kevin hated him the way he always ragged....scolding him more than the others.

Nick said goodnight but was met with AJ's curtain closing....leaving him to himself. None of the guys seemed to want him around lately, especially Brian. All Brian did was talk about his stupid girlfriend. He barely talked to him anymore and it hurt, like he was being replaced. His family didn't take much time for him, they were fawning over his brother's solo career.

 

Solo….

He thought about the solo album the record label wanted him to do....maybe the guys were better off without him. Nick laid down feeling anxious as he cried himself to sleep, not caring if anyone else heard. They wouldn't care anyway. Everyone was so wrapped in the drama and themselves they didn't notice their youngest member was drifting away.

Nick couldn't wait for tour to be over. For everything to be over and he'd be happy again.

Russell had a cousin that worked for the Backstreet Boys and decided as soon as he escaped to get in touch with him for a job. He changed his name to the nickname they gave him in prison, Sawyer.

“When they let you out, Russ? I thought you was locked up.” Manny asked. Russell coughed and quickly came up with a lie.

“I got off on good behavior. Listen, I need a job. Can you help me out?”

“Sure. It's good to see you being responsible. I'm sure I can help.”

“One thing though, they call me Sawyer now, new life…new me, you dig it?”

“Anything for my favorite cousin.” Manny said. Russell got hired without much of a background check, just was asked how much he could lift. He was told he'd be working on the road and staying on the crew bus. Russell was happy things were falling into place. He even liked the job.

He'd have his revenge soon enough.




Brian heard Nick crying from his bunk and part of him wanted to go comfort him....wrap him in a hug. He was halfway out of his bunk when he changed his mind, remembering the fight earlier that month. He and Nick were always fighting these days, ever since he started dating Leighanne. She was the one thing in his life that made sense and he wouldn't be opposed to this being the last tour so he could finally get married like he wanted. Deep down, he knew he was being an ass and kind of abandoned his best friend, but he felt Nick brought it on himself with the attitude he had. They all were. They were such a tight knit group but now it was like they were falling apart. It was bound to happen eventually.

"He'll learn one day." he muttered to himself as he rolled over to sleep, putting a pillow over his ears to muffle out Nick's crying.








"Has anyone seen Nick?"

The bus had stopped at the next venue and the road crew was beginning to unload the parts of the stage....but Nick was nowhere to be found.

"Probably off crying somewhere. Did anyone hear him last night? He kept me awake. He's such a pussy." AJ laughed, looking around and waiting for a response, but nobody gave one. Instead they were silent.

"That isn't funny, AJ. I wish I knew what was going on, he's been so distant. Maybe someone should talk to him." Howie said, shaking his head as AJ rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth but Kevin put up his hand.

"AJ, save it. We have sound check at three so someone better find him! I swear I am going to have grey hair before the tour is over." he stated.

"You're already halfway there old man..." AJ snorted. Kevin just growled and walked away in frustration, he hated that he could hardly talk to AJ anymore....it seemed like they were always butting heads. Well, to be fair everyone was. Kevin finally found Nick outside the perimeter of the crew area, smoking a cigarette and looking guilty.

Well, he hoped it was a cigarette.

"Nick!!"

At the sound of his name, Nick cursed and tossed it to the ground, stomping to put it out. He needed the cigarette and it was his last one, one of the few things that calmed him down lately. A lot of things were going through his head and Kevin had interrupted them. Nick even thought for a moment about telling him what had happened...but he thought better of it.

None of them cared. They were all more worried about AJ and Nick felt like his BSB family was falling apart in front of his eyes.

"I already saw it, you know." Kevin smirked knowingly. Nick shrugged and looked at the ground feeling embarrassed as Kevin laid into him about the dangers of smoking. Nick half listened, but his mind was somewhere else, and all the lecture did was piss him off. He wished he had more weed, maybe he could get some from AJ. It seemed to make everything more tolerable. He chuckled to himself, wondering what Kevin would be like if he smoked pot.

"Nick are you even listening?" he asked. Nick was already heated so instead of walking away, his mouth had other plans.

"Seriously Kevin-I know all of that crap already, you say this shit to me every day and you sound like a fucking broken record. I don't give a crap what it does, nobody would care if anything happened to me anyway." Nick shot at him, brushing past the stage hands setting up the equipment.

"Hey, now that isn't true and you know it." Kevin called after him, grabbing his arm. Nick pulled it away before storming off.

"Whatever...."

Brian looked on, not surprised in the least. Nick was probably headed to the bus to avoid them all again.

"A lot of help you are. You could have tried talking to him too, you know." Kevin snapped.

"Talk? Kev, in case you haven't noticed...he won't even look at me anymore. So you explain what talking will do. He is in one of those The World VS Nick moods. He'll be fine before the show, he always bounces back." Brian said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.


“Where did you want this set up?”

Kevin looked up, seeing the stage hand standing there.

“Hi, I don't believe I have seen you before. Are you new?”

The stage hand was a little taller than Brian but built. Kevin eyed him over and he squirmed a little.

“I'm Sawyer. Manny’s cousin.” Russell said with a smile. This guy sure made him nervous, he wasn't sure why but something about his eyes. It was like they were seeing right through him. Kevin introduced him to the others.

“Welcome to the family, dude.” AJ said, shaking his hand. They pretty much welcomed him with open arms.

Russell smiled to himself, it had been too easy getting this job....he thanked his cousin Manny for helping. He didn't need to know that he had even been in prison, but it had worked like a charm. All was falling into place, he would avenge Chloe soon enough. He just needed time to think of a plan.

The show that night didn't go as planned, but the crowd was going wild. The fans didn't notice the tension between them, because all five of them had become masters of leaving everything off stage. As soon as the guys left the stage, their smiles faded. Their manager shouted at them and all it did was get their tempers to flare.

"That was not a good show tonight, you all seemed like you didn't want to be there!!! We can't have this from you.." he yelled. Nick tuned him out, thinking. He just wanted to get into bed, have something to eat and forget anything happened, it was a really crappy day. Nobody really noticed except for one person but Nick ignored them. He hated being bothered when he was in a bad mood.

"Nicky, you okay?" Howie asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Nick pulled away, leaving Howie looking after him in disappointment. He loved Howie for caring but he just didn't feel like talking as he walked to the bus, a headache coming on. He saw some fans outside but walked past them. A few even yelled to him but he ignored it.

“Nick, we waited two hours to see you. We drove from Canada.” one of the girls called. She was wearing a Backstreet Boys shirt and had a sign. Nick didn't even smile. He kept his head down and went on the bus, leaving the girl disappointed.

“I thought he was the nice one.”

"Fuck this shit." he mumbled, ignoring her. Sometimes he wondered what it would have been like if he didn't choose the band and went to do Mickey Mouse Club instead. He'd probably be living a normal life or been an actor by now.

He closed the curtain to his bunk as the others filed into the bus, arguing again....everything was an argument anymore. Between his family and his BSB family nobody was getting along, it killed him to hear it. His family was bad enough. He left the curtain open a crack, listening to them fight. It reminded him of the house in Florida, when his parents would argue over money and he wished for anything that could help them. He chose this to help them. He knew he was stupid for it.

"AJ....what is wrong with you? You forgot half the words to the song and you screwed the whole set up." Kevin hissed, slamming his hand on the table.

"Oh, I'm SO sorry your highness. It won't happen again." AJ retorted, walking towards the back of the bus.

"Excuse me, that was coming from our manager, not me. What is really wrong, AJ is that you don't seem to understand what you do affects us as well. You and Nick both are dragging us down with your behavior. It's bad enough you're a fuck up but you want to fuck Nick's life up too? " Kevin said, looking at Brian and Howie for help. Neither of them added to the conversation, they just looked awkwardly at the floor.

"Fuck you, Kevin. You aren't my dad or my boss. I do what I want. Besides Nick doesn't need help fucking up. He's a fuck up on his own.” AJ said before reaching for a beer in the mini fridge. Kevin grabbed it but AJ grabbed it away and opened it.

"See this is what I mean. Drinking like this isn't healthy.....we are just looking out for you." Kevin added. Howie stepped forward and decided to speak up.

"We are worried about you, won't you just talk to us for a while? I think we all need to just get things out in the open." he said calmly. AJ finished his beer and just stomped off, his chains on the boots he wore rattling.

"That answers that. Well, Leighanne's waiting for me to call her so I'll be off then." Brian announced, laughing awkwardly.

"Is that all you can think about?" Howie asked in disbelief although he wouldn't admit he was about to do the same.

"It's better than this squabbling every night. What is happening to us, we all used to be so close..."

Kevin put his hand through his hair and sighed as he watched his cousin leave too. Brian was right. He wondered if anything could be done, or if they would just get worse as time went by. The bus rolled onto their next stop, everyone riding in silence and eventually sleeping for a few hours.

They would be grateful for a full night of sleep before too long.




The next day was a show day and Nick found himself bumming a cigarette from one of the roadies since Kevin had cut him off. He puffed at it, kicking stones behind the venue and keeping an eye out for Kevin. There was no sign of him anywhere so far, so Nick was left alone. He liked to be alone these days but he felt lost not having anyone to talk to, especially about what was going on in his life.

"Hey."


Nick jumped but it wasn't Kevin or any of the guys, it was the new roadie.

"Oh, shit- you scared me. I thought you were someone else." he laughed.

Russell smiled....sizing Nick up. He could definitely handle this kid, he was about Jamie's build.

"I guess I am not the only one who needed a smoke, huh kid." he said. Nick blew a puff into the air and wiped at his nose before taking another drag.

“Sawyer.” Russell said, holding his hand out. Nick just stared at him awkwardly.

"I just needed to be alone. Plus this is my last one. Had to bum one." he explained. He wouldn't look the other man in the eye, something about him made him uncomfortable.


“Are you okay? You seemed upset last night heading back to the bus. I saw you walk past the fans outside.”

“That's not your business, bro. I wasn't in the mood to talk to them. They'll get over it if I don't go over once or twice. They're just fans.” Nick scoffed.

Russell was about to go off on him because Chloe had been one of those fans at one point. He remembered taking her to see the band a long time ago before he was in jail. He had no idea that this guy was like this. Nick didn't seem to care about his fans at all. Just seemed like a miserable prick, but before he could open his mouth he was interrupted.


"Nick!!! Are you back here?" Brian called. Nick cursed as he came towards them, shaking his head. He put the cigarette out and more cursing followed.

"What are you doing without security?" Brian said, giving Russell a funny glance.

"I'm not a kid anymore...besides, I wasn't alone. He was with me.....uh....what was your name, dude?"


“I just told you….my name is Sawyer.”

“Whatever. He's cool.” Nick lied.

Russell put on a fake smile, this kid really seemed brain dead. He wondered what Chloe saw in him.

"We met the other day, now come on before Mike and Kevin both have coronaries when they find you missing again. It's bad enough AJ is hungover, we don't need this too." Brian said, pulling Nick along and ignoring Russell.

Russell hated their attitudes, these two acted like they were entitled, especially the shorter one who kept going on about management and the show, not even bothering to ask the kid if he was okay. It would be all right, he thought as he puffed at his cigarette. Pretty soon they wouldn't have the kid to kick around anymore anyway.


Not if he had anything to do with it.

As the tour went on things seemed to get worse and worse. Nick hated watching things unravel to the point where he overheard Kevin and Howie saying this would be their last tour. Feeling stressed, Nick went and bought a bunch of Jack, keeping to his room that night and listening to Nirvana. Brian was on the balcony talking to his girlfriend again as they did every night, Nick found himself turning up the volume twice to drown out the kissy noises. It was bad enough he was single, he didn't need to hear them practically having phone sex too.

"Gag me." Nick muttered, swigging from the bottle again. It burned his throat but he didn't care, all he could think about was how his life was so fucked up it led to this. Nick thought about a lot while he drank, especially about Chloe, a girl he'd been seeing. They met at some coffee shop in California, he hardly remembered the name of the place. Nick didn't even know why he thought of her at all, but he did. He took his black book from his backpack and flipped through.....but there was no Chloe there. Only numbers of numerous other booty calls and girls who were an easy lay when he came to town. When Nick drank, he always wanted to apologize for things he did, but he couldn't this time.

Brian came into the room shortly after Nick put his little black book away, looking at the empty liquor bottles. He turned off the stereo and shook his head at Nick.

“What the fuck did you do that for?”

"Would you mind lowering the decibels for one night? The hotel staff already complained about the noise in this room." Brian snapped moodily.

"Okay, Kevin." Nick rolled his eyes, draining the remnants of the bottle. He moved onto another, mixing it with a Coke.

"Nick what is wrong with you? You usually aren't like this. Where's that kid who played Mario Kart all night with me? What happened to my Frack?” Brian asked, waiting for a reply….but he was answered by a long belch.

“He left.”

“Well, I miss him.”

"Since when do you care? You have your girlfriend. Why don't you call her?” Nick said with a mouth full of food.


Brian sat down on the bed across from him, sighing dejectedly. He hated how things had gotten between the two of them, but in a twisted way Nick was right. Nick wasn't that kid anymore but he had changed.....the light was gone from his eyes just like the other guys. Brian didn't bother with him the rest of the night and let him drink, he was a lost cause.


The next morning they were supposed to meet downstairs but Howie and Kevin were the only ones there.

"Where is everyone? We were supposed to meet down here a half hour ago." Howie asked in the hotel lobby, which was pretty barren for mid morning.

“Sorry, I had a call from Kristin. Are you the only one down here?" Kevin asked. Howie sipped at his coffee, he sometimes thought he and Kevin were the only ones who still gave a damn. Even Brian had stopped showing up to things on time which was unusual. As if on cue, AJ walked into the lobby from the street, smelling like an ashtray and alcohol....wobbling as he passed his two older bandmates with a girl at his arm who was equally if not more drunk than he was. She looked like she'd lost half of her clothes along the way. Howie quickly became interested in a magazine rack nearby and pretended not to notice. Kevin was practically fuming.

"Sup fellas? I'm taking....um..."

He stopped to think of the girl's name.


“Stephanie.” she said, annoyed.

“Sorry, babe.” AJ chuckled. Howie and Kevin exchanged glances.

"Where the hell were you all night, AJ? We are checking out in an hour." Kevin asked. He felt his blood pressure going up already and had walked away for a moment before coming back.

"You didn't tell me you were leaving town today." Stephanie snapped before slapping AJ and walking out. AJ went to follow her but Kevin stopped him.

“Chicks are so testy.”

"You're wasted at ten thirty in the morning..." Kevin said with more astonishment than disappointment.

"It was one hell of a party. You sure the three of you weren't there?" AJ slurred. Kevin and Howie managed to get him up to Nick's room, to Nick's protest. He was also hungover, pizza boxes littered the floor around his bed.

It was then they also noticed the TV was gone.

"Where the fuck is the TV?" Nick said, scratching his head. Howie was busily trying to wake up AJ, passed out on the bed and all Kevin could do was scream.

"Yo, calm down Kev. It's too early to be yelling like that, dawg." Nick exclaimed. Kevin grabbed his shirt, about to hit him for suggesting it.

"You are both fucking drunk and it isn't even noon! Where is Brian?" Kevin yelled as he dropped Nick.


Brian smiled, happy to hear Leighanne's voice that morning.

"Just wanted to say good morning, I'll call you tonight baby." he said just when Kevin came out onto the patio.

"Where the fuck have you been? AJ is drunk and we all need to check out in an hour.....is that a god damn TV in the pool?"

Kevin stopped mid yell and blinked....sure enough at the bottom of the pool was a television set. Nick walked over to the balcony and peered over.

“Hey, you found it!” he said brightly.

“I swear to fucking God….” Kevin started to yell but Nick was holding his stomach, ignoring him.

“You guys, I don't feel so good.”

"That's it....you've pushed him over the limit. Kevin has lost his mind." Howie exclaimed.


Nick replied by vomiting spectacularly onto Kevin's shoes.

After sobering up AJ by running his head under the water, paying damages to the hotel, keeping Kevin from committing murder and being banned....the boys were back on the bus again.

"You have to admit that will make a fun story in ten years." Brian said. Kevin just nodded and took an aspirin....wondering if he'd ever get the smell of Nick's puke off of him… he finally decided that it was gonna be a long week. He could feel it already.
He just hoped he could last until the end of the day without strangling someone.

After the hotel incident, things were quiet for a day or two, nobody was really fighting, or even talking to each other in general. They sat in silence most of the time.

"You know what I miss? How we used to have movie nights when we all lived together." Howie said suddenly. Nick looked up but nobody else did. He definitely missed hanging out together like that, he wished they would stop fighting long enough to hang out. Even for an hour.

"So why don't we watch one now? It's been ages." Kevin suggested.

"I'm tired." Brian waved Kevin off and went back to his plate of chicken.

"Yeah right." Nick scoffed and Brian looked at him, his temper boiling slowly.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You aren't tired. You think you're too cool to do stuff with anyone but Leighanne. We aren't stupid." Nick said. Nobody seemed to agree or disagree until Brian stood up.

"Fuck you. At least I don't drink away my problems and stuff my face like some people." Brian shouted, moving to throw his paper plate away.

"Drop dead. You don't know what I am feeling....you only care about her." Nick retorted.

“You know you don't mean that, Nick.” Howie started, but they continued to argue.

The bus stopped at a rest stop, and the driver told them he was using the bathroom, because the bus toilet was broken. Nobody heard him though because they were too busy yelling.

"How about the two of you drop dead? Then we wouldn't hear any of this shit..." AJ suggested, drinking his beer.

"Hey, come on guys....cut it out. Look at yourselves. You should never wish death on anybody. What would you do if it came true?" Howie asked, taking the beer from AJ before it reached his lips.

"We'd all be a lot happier, that's for sure." Nick said. He walked to his bunk and laid down, throwing his head under a pillow so he wouldn't hear any more.


Russell knew this was a perfect opportunity when they all stopped at the rest stop, the BSB bus driver getting off to relieve himself. He was in the bus behind them, the one for the road crew. He liked his job but he felt nothing was getting done fast. The more he saw the Carter kid the more he wanted to give him what he was due.

"Hey, where you going?" Manny asked, but he ignored them. He managed to get towards the bathroom and as Hank came out....he grabbed him by the neck. It was easy to break it, one snap was all it took and he was down.

"I wonder if it will be this easy for the others…" he chuckled, putting on the uniform in the bathroom and trying his best to act natural when he came out. The boys were nowhere to be seen when he got onto their tour bus, putting it into drive and leaving. Russell knew how to drive a transit bus, having done that before he was arrested...so this was not all that different. He put his foot on the gas pedal and took a breath....hoping nobody would notice Hank was missing.

"Yeah I'm okay, sweetheart. Just had a stressful day again. You know how things are. We were fighting over something..." Brian was in his bunk when he felt the bus jerk forward, Hank hadn't been gone that long so it was odd they were moving again so quickly.

"Huh? Nah. The bus is moving again. Listen, I'll call you back later, okay? Yep love you too. Bye baby." Brian hung up and stepped out of his bunk, looking towards the front where the driver's seat should be. Kevin suddenly appeared next to him and the same thought occurred to them both.

"You had the same thought I did, didn't you?" he said softly. His cousin nodded in reply, pressing a finger to his lips.

"Shh. That isn't Hank." Kevin whispered, gesturing at the man behind the wheel.

"What's going on?” Brian said, a little louder than he intended.

"I thought you guys were sleeping. Sorry if I woke you." Russell called out to them, making them jump. Kevin moved toward him, still feeling suspicious.

"Where is Hank?" Brian asked timidly, not moving at all. His heart was beating a little faster, something wasn't right.

"He asked me to take his spot, he wasn't feeling well. Why don't you take a seat?" Russell said.

"You're that guy....I have seen you before. You're the guy Nick was smoking with. Sawyer.” Brian said slowly. Russell sighed, he hoped the questions wouldn't start, that was Jamie's mistake. At least the guy remembered his name.

“He's a goddamn liar. Who are you, really?” Kevin asked.

"Sit down and shut the fuck up. I'm in charge now." he growled. Brian saw the gun sticking out of his pocket and backed away towards the table, sitting down.


“He has a gun…” he whispered. Kevin looked tense and Brian wished he could have prevented what happened next. The two cousins looked at each other..they knew this wouldn't end well. It was then that Kevin tried to get Russell away from the wheel...

"KEVIN, DON'T!!!"





Nick felt the bus shaking and jumped up in his own bunk, hearing yelling from the front. First came a gunshot and then....well hell broke loose. He had one foot out when suddenly the world seemed to turn upside down. He could feel things falling and someone screaming....but it happened so fast he didn't have time to react. He was sliding all over the place and trying desperately to grab hold of something, everyone was screaming.

"Brian!!!" he yelled without thinking. Nobody seemed to be around, he tried to stay in his bunk but tumbled out...glass breaking around him as he fell to the floor. He was hit in the head, he smelled blood before he went limp....the bus continued to shake. It finally came to rest...but by that time the bus was silent and so was Nick. The faint smell of gasoline hung in the night air on the tour bus, leaning on its side....no sign of life.

When AJ first woke up, three thoughts occurred to him....one, he had to pee. Two, the bus was awfully dark. AJ had no idea how he ended up in Howie's bunk, but he woke up startled to see that the bus had flipped over onto its side. There were suitcases and bags all over, broken glass and the smell of gasoline was still present. When he moved to get up, the bus shifted angrily and he almost fell.

"Holy shit." he whispered, coughing. Nobody else was really making a sound but he hoisted himself up slowly. The creaking noises that followed made him uneasy.

"D.....D where are you?" AJ called for Howie but got no reply...he smelled blood, but he didn't know where it was coming from. It was then that a third thought struck him....the last words he spoke to his friends was him telling them to drop dead. It caused him to panic because the bus was still quiet aside from the creaking sounds.

"Fellas? What the fuck is going on?"

AJ was worried he was the only one alive until he nearly tripped over a body. It was Howie all right, his arm bent at an odd angle and blood on his face. AJ blinked at him and hesitantly moved closer.

"Howie talk to me.....we need to get out of here...please? Answer me. " he gently shook him but he didn't move, but the slow rise and fall from his chest signified that he was alive. AJ didn't want to leave him but he walked towards the front of the bus...afraid what he would find up there.


Brian felt a lot of pain when he woke up on the wet grass. He looked around, blinking in the light misty rain that fell around him. He wondered for a moment how he'd ended up outside and looked back at the bus, his eyes wide. It was wrapped around a tree and on its side, the windows broken and smoke coming from the front. He could smell gas leaking and he knew he had to hurry.

"Kevin?" he called, then called the other names in turn. There was no reply so Brian tried to stand, although he was wobbly and sore. The rain grew heavier as it fell against his face, trickling down his chin and washing away dried blood. He was scraped up from being flung from the bus, and he felt pain in his wrist but it wasn't broken that he could tell.

"Kevin? Nick? Howie? AJ? Anybody hear me?" he called again as he approached the overturned bus. He didn't even see the bus driver, which he was grateful for. Everything had happened so quick and he worried, wondering if Kevin had been hit by the gunfire. He wondered if anyone else got flung out a window too. Hobbling over towards the bus, he winced in pain as any cut or scrape he had began to hurt at the same time.

"Brian?" AJ answered, coughing again.

"Thank God. Are you okay?" Brian said. AJ poked his head out the broken window and saw that it would be hard to get down from that angle. Brian seemed to be all right, but his face was pretty banged up because he was bleeding. He didn't seem to care.

"I think so, but Howie isn't. Where is everyone else?"

"I don't know, but I don't like that gas smell. Can you get Howie out? Is he injured badly?" Brian asked. He felt a chill and moved to the other side of the bus, but he didn't think that angle would help either. It was really worrying that he and AJ were the only ones talking right now.


AJ went back inside to see if he could pick up Howie when he suddenly tripped, catching himself on the bathroom door. He cursed and realized he tripped over something that felt like a limb.

"Nicky is that you?"

When AJ looked closer he wished he was right. He had found Brian's dog Tyke crushed to death under some suitcases. AJ wretched, feeling sick to his stomach.


“AJ what was that? Did you find anything? I don't see my dog either.” he heard Brian ask.
AJ didn't answer him, he just kept going.

"I will never complain about a dog again...Jesus Christ." he whispered. Howie lay just a few feet away, still in the same spot. He wasn't too heavy but AJ still had trouble lifting him, struggling a bit as he put him over his shoulder. He knew this was a bad idea as his arm was probably broken, but AJ took the chance. The gasoline smell was making him queasy and dizzy.

"Rok, you still down there? Help me get Howie down."

After about ten minutes they safely moved Howie to the grass, Brian feeling more pain from lifting his bandmate.

"Damn, what the fuck happened?" AJ asked, finally realizing how bad the situation was.

"I...uh, we have to find Nick and Kevin. Did you see Tyke anywhere?" Brian said, but AJ didn't answer. He'd gone back to find Nick but it seemed hopeless. There was so much debris and other objects scattered about in the dark it was hard to see, not to mention he worried about the bus flipping because it kept moving if he moved too fast.

"Nick? Kev?"

He coughed again and found himself wishing for a cigarette. He could use his lighter for light, but with the gas smell they'd be blown to bits. He wasn't that stupid. Not this time, anyway.

"Guys.. ..you all right? Someone fucking answer for Christ's sake."

He stood up on the bus, feeling so frustrated and helpless that he punched the broken bathroom door and growled. The bus shifted again and he nearly fell, he lost track of how many times he's almost fallen by now.

"AJ?"

A small voice called out in the dark and he hurried towards it, with his heart pointing and hoping whoever it was would be okay.

"AJ is that you? Come help me….I'm stuck.”

He tried to move quickly towards the voice at what was the front of the tour bus. AJ stopped when he saw Kevin pinned under the driver's seat and wheel. Blinking, he felt his heart pounding. Howie needed his help too but Kevin's situation was a bit more dire.

"You okay, Kevin?" he asked gently, stepping cautiously towards him. The smell of the gas was stronger here. It made AJ nauseous and he kept having to fight off the urge to vomit again.

"I can't get up....help me...." Kevin pleaded, almost in tears. Reality of the situation was settling in, he'd never heard fear in Kevin's voice before....nor had he seen him look so helpless. Kevin was always the one they looked to during bad times, he was the leader. AJ knew it was his turn to step up and stop being so selfish.

"Hang on, I'm coming. Don't move, you aren't hurt are you?"

"Well I can't exactly get up and go jogging. I mean you wanted us to all drop dead. Guess you got what you wanted.” Kevin whispered angrily. The words stung but AJ knew he deserved that.

"Come on, don't be like that Kev. I'm gonna get you out of here, this might hurt a bit.”

A groan of pain was the only reply. AJ pushed and after a few minutes he stopped, the wheel was not coming loose at all.

"Sorry for snapping at you, I am just in a lot of pain. Try one more time." Kevin suggested. AJ continued to push, but after a few minutes Kevin begged him to stop and take a breather. AJ heard Brian calling from outside.

"I can't get it."

"Well try again...please, I can't feel my leg. I think I got shot."

AJ heard Brian calling but he was determined to free Kevin from the steering wheel. He knew he had to hurry, wondering why he didn't find Nick yet. Hopefully that would be answered soon.



*******

"Fucking Christ."

Russell felt like he'd been hit with the actual bus and not thrown into bushes, but they had broken his fall. He was covered in cuts, his clothes torn and wet....his neck incredibly sore.

"Brian? Kevin? Is anyone out here?"

Russell looked up and couldn't believe the kid was even standing, Nick was calling each of his band mates in turn, sounding like he'd been crying. He reached for his gun, Nick was already injured and nobody would ever know how he really died if he did him in now. He walked with a limp, holding his shoulder and wincing.

"Oh...thank god someone else is out here. I thought I was the only one.." Nick exclaimed happily, coming towards him. Russell cursed under his breath, he should have shot the asshole where he stood. Instead he hid the gun away before Nick saw anything, putting a fake smile on his bloody face.

"Yeah. Guess we are lucky huh?"

"I remember you. I bummed a cigarette once from you. Sawyer, right? What are you doing out here?" Nick asked, shivering. His head was throbbing and he was very sore but also afraid the others were dead. He worried about Brian, thinking about his last words to him.

"I was driving because Hank got sick at that rest stop. He asked me to take over. Maybe we should go and look for help?" Russell suggested, his hand on his gun in case Nick tried anything funny.

Nick paused to think and looked back the way he'd come from....wondering if anyone was looking for him.

"Maybe we should go back to the bus."

"That might be a bad idea, I smelled gas before and what if it blows up when we are there?" Russell said. If he could get this guy isolated enough everything would work out pretty well.

"True, but what if my friends are hurt and need me?"

"Have they needed you before?" Russell argued. The sound of AJ telling him to drop dead rang clear in his ears, Nick felt his eyes water. He and Brian were probably throwing a party knowing he was gone. All anyone seemed to do was yell at him or ignore him lately anyway. Leaving sounded like a good idea no matter how much he wanted to go back and look for them. Everything hurt and he just wanted to get a nice warm bed, go to sleep. His head hurt so bad…


"You're right. I can take care of myself.....I don't need them." Nick said in a hollow voice, feeling his stomach turn again. Russell slapped him on the back, grinning to himself.

"That's the spirit, kid."

He simply smiled, he couldn't believe Nick trusted so easily.

They started walking when suddenly there was a explosion....Nick whirled around and saw red in the sky in the direction of the bus. It wasn't too far away, there were flames above the trees silhouetted against the night sky.

"No….I- I have to go get them!”

Russell didn't know what to do when Nick started heading back, so he grabbed his shoulder. Nick cried out in pain almost immediately and he retracted, falling to the ground.

"Jesus Christ, are you stupid or something? You'll get yourself killed if you go back there, don't you realize that?” Russell reasoned.

"They could be dying. It's all my fault. Everything is my fault..." Nick whispered through tears. He tried to stand and fell to the ground as his knee gave out, laying on the wet grass and sobbing. Every emotion he'd been feeling spilled over as the reality hit him.

"Come on, we better find somewhere out of this rain before we both catch cold." Russell said gently, helping him up. He almost felt bad for leading him away, but soon he would put Nick out of his misery and it wouldn't matter anymore.

“Are you stupid or something? They're not going to be there, nothing could survive that shit. You're better off coming with me.” Russell called when he noticed Nick limping away again towards the bus. The hill was a bit slippery due to the wet leaves and Nick struggled by holding onto the small trees. His leg was yelling at him and throbbing, he knew he was more injured than he could tell off the bat.

“Come back here!”

Nick ignored Russell and kept walking towards the fire. When he had been thrown, he'd rolled down a small hill and landed in a bush, where he woke up shivering. He felt horrible for what he said to Brian and all he wanted was to see him again, to tell him he didn't mean it. Brian was always there for him when his family made him upset, when he didn't feel anyone cared about him. Many nights in the early days, Nick would lay in Brian's bunk with him until he fell asleep because he didn't want to be alone.

That was until things went sour. When Brian had met his girlfriend, things changed. She didn't seem to like them hanging out together and pretty much monopolized Brian's time. He stopped going out with the guys so much. Stopped going clubbing. Nick turned to AJ for friendship and started drinking more, smoking. His attitude changed. The innocent kid was gone. Nick knew he wouldn't forgive himself for what he said. He didn't want Brian to die, he wanted to make things better.

He would never forgive himself if Brian was dead....if any of them were dead.

"You can't go back there,” Russell protested, but Nick kept limping. He didn't seem to want to show he was that hurt, but it was obvious he was in a lot of pain.

"I have to know. We should all probably stick together anyway. Safety in numbers, right?" Nick said.



“They never cared about you before.”

“You seem to know a lot about me for someone who just met me a few days ago.”

Russell hated to admit he was right.


“Look, I can just tell. My family was dysfunctional too. You remind me of myself.” he lied. Nick stared at him, his chest hurting. He was tired from walking and wanted to sleep.

“Dysfunctional doesn't quite cover it..” he whispered with a chuckle.

“Everyone's family has problems.”

Nick shrugged his shoulders and shivered as the rain got heavier.

“You don't know anything, man. Those guys are my family.”

“Doesn't seem like it to me.” Russell offered. Nick turned around, looking angry.

“Sawyer, you don't strike me as the kind who has many friends. Brian, Kevin, Howie and even AJ as much as we bicker - we are a family. Family takes care of each other. They'd come back for me. I have to know.“

Russell made a face and Nick started limping up the short hill again, his leg trying to give out. Russell was getting angry so he fired a shot into the air. Nick fell over and landed on the ground, startled.

“Wh-why do you have a gun?” he asked, trembling. He didn't know if it was because he was cold or because he hated guns. They reminded him of his father, shooting in the air to make them all quiet. Nick backed away and became silent, shaking.


"I am in charge now, and I say we are going this way, understand? You don't need them. Your friends are dead. Be lucky you haven't joined them yet.” he growled. Nick hesitated but now he was sure he didn't want to follow. Why he did in the first place was a stupid decision. Nick could only think of one thing....and that was to run even though his leg was throbbing.

"Get back here!!" Russell shouted. He wanted to kick himself for this whole thing, it wasn't how it was supposed to turn out at all.
Nick hurt like hell but he ran as fast as he could, adrenaline taking over. Russell was cursing and fired again, missing him but not by much. Nick just prayed he could lose him.

Russell cursed under his breath when Nick broke away. He almost had him but even injured that kid could run. Being injured himself kind of put him in a predicament, wondering if he should bother chasing after him at all, or try to get help for himself. The kid wouldn't survive in these woods anyway, there were tons of dangerous animals...not to mention he didn't have food. Russell almost walked away, but turned instead he turned towards where Nick ran to, thinking of Chloe. She would have wanted him to finish what he started.

It had to be done for her.

Nick felt the pain in his legs intensify but he moved quickly. Once he felt like he lost Russell, he stopped, leaning on a tree to rest as sweat dripped down his face. He was soaked from the rain and cold, completely alone in the dark. If fate smiled on him, Russell wouldn't find him during the night. The question was, where would he go? There didn't seem to be any sort of civilization where he was. The bus, burning not far away was destroyed and his bandmates...they were likely gone.

Nick would give anything to see them now. Even AJ. Memories came and he shook them away, holding back tears. As he limped, his stomach turned over...feeling like it would leap from his throat.

He thought back to the guys again. Everything had been falling apart lately, but he wanted to hear Brian tell him a joke....or Kevin yell at him, Howie to say stop bugging him, or even AJ tell him to fuck off....anything just to hear their voices. Nick finally leaned over and lost the contents of his stomach which wasn't much, he'd gone to bed before the accident without finishing dinner. It was mostly dry heaves and Nick fell to the ground, crying and feeling sorry for himself.

It was then he smelled blood.


*************************

"Help me lift Howie, Brian- onto my back." AJ said once they had felt it was okay to move. He had decided to get Brian to help and between the two of them they managed to free Kevin. They'd gone back to get Howie and that was when the bus had blown up, forcing them to fall to the ground while covering their heads. Howie just lay nearby because he was still unconscious. Looking over at Kevin sitting on the ground, AJ was grateful they had made it out in time before the gasoline caught fire.

"You sure you can lift him?" Brian asked, holding his wrist. His thoughts were not on his cousin but on Nick. Was he all right? Would they be all right?

"Yeah, I think so. We need to find somewhere to rest for the night." AJ replied.

"He is right. It's no use sitting here in the rain talking." Kevin agreed. Even though he had been lodged under the steering wheel, he didn't feel that far off...but the throbbing in his head and ringing in his ear were not something he enjoyed. His head hurt and he wanted to sleep.

"Good idea, but where exactly do we go? It isn't like there is a Four Seasons or something out here." Brian snapped. He was getting chilly from the rain and would give anything for a hot coffee, then he cursed at himself for being so thoughtless. Nick may be dead, and if he wasn't....that guy was still out there.

“We can't argue right now. Just calm down.” AJ said and Brian fell silent.

“Sorry,”

“It's okay, we are all on edge I guess.”

“I wonder if Tyke made it out of the bus before…before-” he said tearfully. AJ looked at the ground and ignored him, walking. He wanted to tell him but didn't know how so he just adjusted his load on his back and continued. Howie was breathing softly, which was a good sign. The three of them walked for a long time until it started getting dark.


“We should probably stop for a while. We're going to get sick if we stay in this rain.” Kevin called.

“A cold is the least of my worries right now, Kev…” Brian said, wiping the water out of his eyes. It was getting hard to see. All of them were completely soaked and shivering.
They found a cave not too far from the crash site, it was cold but at least they would be dry. AJ tried to wake up Howie by shaking him gently but he was unconscious.

"Howie sleeps like he is dead. Good thing he doesn't know what is going on. Lucky bastard." he said finally, sitting down. He searched in his pocket for his cigarettes but was disappointed when he only found a lighter.

"We are all lucky to be alive. We should count our blessings.”Kevin pointed out with a smile.

"I heard a gun go off, you sure you're all right?" AJ asked, noticing the dried blood on Kevin's torn jeans. Kevin looked down and nodded, although his leg hurt. He figured it was from being stuck, he'd know if he'd been shot.


“Just a scratch.”

"I hope Nick is okay. You think he got thrown from the bus too?" Brian replied, interrupting their conversation. He shivered and moved to sit closer to the others for warmth.

Not knowing would be the hardest part....not knowing if their little brother was okay or if he would be able to handle being on his own. Nick was the kind of person who relied heavily on others, he rarely made any decisions. When he did, they turned out badly.

"If Nick is as stubborn as he usually is, I am sure he is just fine." AJ said, putting the lighter back into his pocket. Kevin watched him, feeling so proud that AJ had rescued him and Howie almost on his own....he was really grateful.

"I am proud of you AJ. You've been so selfish lately but what you did today was amazing. You saved us all.”


“Yes, thanks for that.” Brian agreed.

"That was nothing, man. You may piss me the fuck off but I love you. I wouldn't leave you for dead. I'm not heartless.”

Kevin patted AJ on the knee and smiled, the younger of the two smiling back. The rain fell steadily outside the cave and the three of them thought once again of Nick....hoping soon they would find him and the wait would be over.

"What the fuck was that?" Brian asked when he heard the sticks cracking outside.

"Did you just....wow, B. Never thought I'd hear an F bomb from-" AJ commented in surprise. Kevin hit him and scowled, wincing at the sudden pain shooting up his leg.


“You sure you're okay?”

"Never mind that, you idiot. Something is out there."

AJ looked towards the cave opening, shivering again. He may have been looking like a bad ass lately, but in reality he was a big chicken. He was scared to death and the adrenaline had long worn off. Brian and Kevin both looked at him as if to tell him to check things out.

"Why me?"

"I am injured and so is Brian. You're the healthiest...." Kevin reasoned. Something was definitely moving around outside and his heart beat faster, hoping they weren't about to be eaten by a grizzly bear or a mountain lion.

"What if it eats me?" AJ asked. Whatever the creature was grunted.

"Just go and check it out...." Brian argued, rolling his eyes.

AJ took cautious steps towards the cave opening, listening for any signs of a large animal...but all he heard was the rain. He took a step outside the cave and his eyes scanned the ground, but because it was so dark it was difficult to make anything out.

"There isn't anything out here. It was probably a raccoon or some shit." AJ called, turning to go back in when something grabbed him. He screamed.





"He's been gone too long." Brian commented after a little time had gone by. Kevin nodded, inspecting his leg again. It was hurting more now that he had stopped moving around on it, not to mention he had nothing to elevate it with. He could barely tell, but it was pretty swollen.

"I'm sure he is fine, I wish it wasn't so dark, we could look for Nick. You know he doesn't like being alone. What if he is with Russell… Sawyer….Whatever his name is?" Kevin said.

"I have a bad feeling he was trying to hurt us. If that was the case, I don't want Nick to be with him. I really hope he made it out of the bus."

Brian couldn't stop thinking about the bus exploding and the possibility of Nick's charred remains scattered in the woods, it made him sick to his stomach. AJ’s scream broke him from his thoughts and his head shot up. Even though Kevin was begging him not to, he had to go and look. AJ stopped yelling and wasn't in the cave anymore.

"Jay?"

"Brian…help me. It's Nick." AJ whispered urgently. Brian couldn't see but he found a body lying at his feet, drenched from the rain...and he could smell blood. The weather seemed to be finally letting up as they managed to get Nick inside. Brian cried out at his wrist and dropped him once but they made it to the others.

AJ flicked the lighter open so he could see better. He was amazed that it even lit because of how wet he was. It was definitely Nick.....now unconscious but still breathing softly. Droplets of dried blood lined the corners of his mouth...dark splotches framed a gash on his head, and he was very pale.

"See, I told you he made it." AJ said. Brian sat down next to him, touching Nick's face gently and noticing he felt very cold. They heard a soft moan from behind them, Howie was finally stirring.

"Howie!" AJ exclaimed, his voice echoing as he ran to him. He didn't even bother to get the lighter again, because he wanted to save the fluid if they needed it. He found Howie next to Brian and knelt down, smiling.

"Where....where are we?" Howie whispered fearfully. He sounded hoarse....they all did from not having water for quite some time. Howie didn't remember anything having been asleep when the bus started to shake which he felt lucky for. The cave was dark and cold, all of them huddled near each other for warmth.

"Don't worry about that, we are just happy to hear your voice again, D." AJ said, kissing his forehead.


“What the hell happened?”

While AJ explained most of the details, Brian shivered again.

“So Sawyer isn't his name, his name is Russell? But who is he? What does he want?”

“I don't know, Howie….but he tried to kill us. He's still out there if he survived the bus crash. We have to find help.”

"I really wish we had some light, so we could see better. I'm so tired." Brian pointed out. AJ knew the lighter could help with that but there was nothing dry to make a fire with, everything outside the cave was wet. Kevin ended up suggesting for them all to sleep, so they got as close to each other as they could, resting on each other's shoulders. Nick's head lay in Brian's lap so he could keep an eye on him better.

"One of us should stay awake to keep watch. That guy is still out there." Kevin said. AJ almost protested that he was too tired, but that would have been a lie. These guys needed him.

"I'll do it, I guess." AJ offered, knowing he was the strongest as Brian put it. Growing up in the group, AJ never really relied on anyone for help and now they all relied on him, he was just worried about letting them down.



Russell was thankful the rain had let up, sitting by a small creek. He had spent some time tracking Nick down by just listening for his coughing, the coughing had stopped long ago so he stopped for rest. Russell had experience in hunting, he figured his prey had either passed out from exhaustion or found a hiding place...but he didn't worry. Dawn was in a few hours and the real challenge would begin. As he patted his gun in his pocket, he smiled.

He would get his revenge, one way or another.

AJ felt himself nod off once or twice during the night but the sun woke him up and he stretched, his back aching from being against the cold cave wall. He looked back at the others and smiled, they had all made it this far. Hopefully they would find some help soon. Nick was still in Brian's lap, Howie leaning on Kevin and Brian on the other side. If AJ had a camera he'd have taken a picture, it was definitely a Kodak moment...minus their injuries.

"Is it morning?" Kevin asked, yawning himself. He looked around, hoping that everything had been a dream, but it was real. He felt disappointed and angry that they were still in the cave and his leg throbbed when he sat up.

"I think so. The sun came up not long ago...You think we should wake the others?" AJ asked. He was hungry....starving actually. He licked his lips to moisten them but his mouth was dry.

"We need to find help. Howie obviously had a concussion and I am positive Nick isn't much better. We can't stay here." Kevin replied. He wondered if anyone had noticed they never made it to the next venue, or if anyone was looking for them at all. He thought of Kristin, if she had tried calling. They had no way to contact anyone. Nobody knew they were out here.Their situation seemed pretty damn hopeless at that point, not having any idea where they were or what direction to go in. All Kevin knew was that it wasn't over yet.

A few hours later the others started to stir, first Brian and Howie but Nick remained out cold. He was pale and the blood worried Brian especially because most of it was collected at the corner of his face, above his ear. More blood was on the side of his mouth.

"I'm hungry." AJ said, rubbing his stomach. He and Brian had gone out before to see if there was anything edible nearby, but came back empty handed. Judging by the angle of the sun it was almost noon.

"I know....we all are. Maybe we should all go search for something to eat." Brian said as he heard his own stomach growl.

“Kevin, didn't you live in the woods or some shit?”

“AJ, it was a log cabin and I am not in any condition to be wandering the woods with you.” he snapped. AJ made a face and went silent.

“Sorry for snapping.” Kevin offered.

"What are we going to do about Nick? He isn't exactly light....one of us will have to carry him." Brian pointed out. This sparked another argument among them. Kevin tried to shush them but Nick's sudden coughing startled everyone.

"Nick! Nick, you okay?" Brian asked, putting a hand on his back. Nick shook his head, his stomach felt like he'd swallowed acid and he coughed up droplets of blood whenever a fit came on. Brian felt his forehead, he was burning up. Things were becoming a bit more urgent. After seeing Nick's condition everyone decided to leave the safety of the cave and hike through the woods, almost carrying Kevin along while Nick limped behind them. He was slow but the others tried not to rush him. Nick felt horrible. He wished he had just stayed asleep.

“Does anyone know where the fuck we are?” AJ said. Nick rolled his eyes and that's when he thought he saw someone watching from the thicker group of trees. He tried to rush to catch up even though his leg wanted to give out.



Russell watched them leave the cave, chuckling from the hilltop. He knew they would make themselves known and they did. His stomach was growling and he was dizzy from dehydration but it would all be worth it. He followed them for about a mile, keeping out of sight. Nick almost fell but was helped up and consoled, Russell felt jealous. His own brother never took care of him like that, never cared for his life. Jason put him away, like an animal...all he'd done was robbed a bank so he could buy his sister some concert tickets. He would do anything for his baby sister. He thought of Chloe again and closed his eyes to try and keep calm.

"Bastard. He will be next." Russell said to himself, dodging between the trees.


"You know, I am never complaining about being in a tour bus again. I hate this hiking shit. We really took that shit for granted, huh?" AJ said, panting as they walked. Nick started to cough again before anyone could answer and they stopped.

"Again? Come on, Nick...it can't be that bad.”

AJ felt three pairs of eyes glare at him.

"Don't be an asshole, AJ." Brian hissed. AJ rolled his eyes, mouthing something and mocking him. He was tired and hungry, they were all getting cranky again.


“What? He's probably faking it.”

“You're being a jerk. Stop it.”

"Cut it out, you two. Maybe we should all stop. This argument isn't getting us anywhere." Kevin suggested, ignoring them and looking the youngest over. Nick wiped his mouth, the blood was gone for now but his chest hurt. He didn't want them to worry.

"No, I'm fine. I don't want to slow us down." he said. Nick still felt guilty for getting them hurt in the first place, for telling them to drop dead. As he looked up he saw something once again moving in the trees and gasped, causing Howie to jump.

"What is it?"

Nick looked again, whatever it was had run off by now. He knew it had to be Sawyer. They weren't safe.

"Nothing." Nick brushed it off but the more they walked....the worse he seemed to feel.

"You aren't slowing us down, Nick. You're clearly not okay. What is wrong? Do you need rest?" Brian said. Nick was looking flushed again and so was Howie.

"I already said I was fine. Just because I am hurt all of a sudden you guys care about....about me?" the youngest said, coughing once more. All of them except for AJ looked away, knowing Nick was right. They'd been ignoring him and worrying about AJ's problems when they didn't see someone else crying out for help too.

“We never stopped caring about you. You pushed us away.”

“No, YOU pushed me away Brian. You told me you didn't need me dragging you down anymore, or did you forget that?! You chose her over our friendship!”


“That's not-”

“Fuck you, Brian. I don't want to hear it.”

“Nick….”

Nick's shouting made everyone flinch. Nobody argued back. Nick opened his mouth to speak again but his eyes were wide with fear as a figure appeared out of the trees.

"I'm so sorry, Nick....I..." Brian began, but a gunshot silenced his words.

All of them ducked but Nick. A smiling face stood there in the distance watching them, almost laughing. It was Russell, dried blood on his face and a grotesque smile. He aimed and fired at them again, mostly aiming for Nick…stepping closer.

"Run!!!" Nick screamed, as another shot nearly missed Howie by an inch. It hit a tree and Nick realized this was not a dream. This was real....they were being hunted.

Ever since Russell was a little boy, he felt rebellious. He never listened to his parents, never listened to his teachers. He didn't even listen to the police.....the only one he would listen to was Chloe. He loved his sister because she understood him better than anyone. She understood all he wanted was to be noticed, because their older brother Jason seemed to get all of the praise. He loved to rub it in Russell's face as well, gloating whenever he had the chance. He was their golden child, the eldest in the family that seemed to do no wrong. Russell was the middle child, and Chloe the youngest. Jason often picked on him because he was not successful.

"I just made the squad...and what have you done, brother? Still working on your little paintings?" Jason said when he came for dinner one evening. He'd graduated police academy with flying colors and placed in the local police department on the squad.

“I like to paint.” Russell replied.

“You won't get far in life being a painter. Why don't you get a real job like me and dad? If you'd gone to Academy…”

“I told Dad I didn't want to be a police officer. I want to be a painter.”

As a young teenager Russell often got into trouble with graffiti until his mother bought him some paint one Christmas. Ever since, he'd stayed out of trouble and just kept to his art. However, Jason and his father disapproved. Their family was a long line of officers in the community. The Sawyers were well respected.

Jason walked over to the easel where Russell was painting a portrait of a field of sunflowers. Painting was the one thing Russell was good at and he was proud of his work, his sister often admired his art and hung some of them in her room.


“Chloe says that I am going to be a great artist.” Russell said proudly.

“Is this what you're working on?” Jason asked, pretending to be interested. His brother didn't see the mischievous twinkle in his eyes when he saw the black paint.

“Yes, I am almost finished with it. It's a present for Chloe’s birthday.”

Jason leaned down and looked at the painting, making a face. He grabbed for a jar of black paint, despite Russell's protesting. He threw it at the canvas, long angry drips running down the surface.

“Too bad. Guess you will have to start over.”

He laughed and walked away, leaving his little brother with the ruined painting.

Russell growled with anger, his fists clenched. He hated Jason. He'd have strangled him then if he could get away with it. One day he'd show them all he was important.




He actually hadn't minded his job as a roadie, he got a free place to sleep with his cousin, food was basically included. It was good pay too. Everyone liked him. He would have forgotten his revenge if it hadn't been for that poor girl outside that night before one of the shows.

"Please, I just want to meet Nick. It's been a huge dream of mine...I have been a fan since I was ten. Can you help me? You work for them right?"

The girl had looked just like Chloe so Russell didn't mind trying to help her any way he could. Her name was Maria and she had the prettiest green eyes Russell had ever seen. She wore a Backstreet Boys T shirt and had "I love Nick" drawn on her face. She seemed harmless.

Although he could probably get into trouble he snuck her backstage, making sure that nobody questioned him. Once they got to the dressing area, Russell was really surprised to already see a few girls standing there. Some were dressed extremely skimpy and looked older…some younger. Blondes, brunettes, and redheads. Different heights and weight. All seemed to be waiting for something.

“Do you think he'll come out?” Maria asked.

“I don't see why he wouldn't. I'm sure he'd love to meet a fan. These guys love their fans.” Russell smiled. He'd often observed the guys meeting fans outside of hotels and anywhere else, always stopping for autographs and photos. After what seemed like forever, the door opened and a puff of smoke came out. Nick stepped through, he looked different than he had that morning when Russell talked to him backstage. Something seemed off. His face looked sunken and his eyes were distant, cold. He had not had makeup or hair done yet for the show. He looked like he just woke up.

“Ladies…” he said with a smirk, and the girls started chattering. He stood there for a while, looking them over while his bodyguard waited nearby in the doorway.

"Hey, Nick....can you just take one picture with her, please? She's been waiting all day. Her names Maria." Russell called when Nick made his way over. He seemed like he didn't want to be anywhere near fans right now. Maria frowned.

“Hi, Nick.”

He made a face and scoffed.

"She ain't my type." came the reply. Nick didn't even look at the girl.

"She just wants to meet you."

"I'm busy."

The girl was near tears when Nick turned the other way towards the group near his dressing room.

"You....and...okay, you." He said, with the air of choosing people to play basketball with. Russell approached him again, determined.

"Come on, you owe me. I always let you bum cigarettes. Just do me this one favor, please."

"I don't owe you shit, yo. I already told ya, that chick ain't my type.....sorry. I got business to attend to." Nick laughed. Russell cringed, where was the kid he'd seen earlier that morning? He had been replaced with some cocky bastard sporting a fake ghetto accent. Nick walked away and Russell shook his head, the anger in him coming back as the fan cried into his shoulder.

Russell thought of this as he hunted Nick and the others through the woods, determined to get justice for Chloe, for Maria and any other girl Nick had hurt in his sexual escapades. He had seen his opportunity when the tour buses stopped at the rest stop....Hank never saw it coming. None of them did. Russell didn't intend to crash the bus but park it while the others were sleeping and kill Nick as he slept...not call attention to himself. However now he knew he couldn't go back to prison knowing he failed, he wanted to prove everyone wrong.

Russell Sawyer was not a screw up.....he would make damn sure to follow through even if it meant dying himself.

Russell didn't even think about what he was doing, he just fired one shot. When all of them shouted, he shot another and another. Now they were scrambling.

"Come on, Kevin.....we gotta go!!!" one of them said, picking the one who was limping onto their back. Russell laughed at them. Weak. That's what they were. Only cowards ran according to his brother. He hadn't run when the police caught up to him that day on the interstate. Well, technically he had after he stole the car....but those details weren't important.

All that mattered now was getting the job done.

Howie was in total shock when the bullets began ricocheting off of the tree nearby. It wasn't until he saw the man shooting he wondered what was going on. The man seemed to be aiming at Nick so naturally Howie ran close to him, acting as a shield...and Brian followed. It was crazy how the other day nobody was even talking, and now they were protecting one another.

"No...don't risk yourselves for me.....just let him get me...." Nick wheezed. He fell to his knees and doubled over, another shot fired. Howie leapt on top of him, causing Nick to cry out in pain. Brian reached to help him up but he pushed him away.

"I am just slowing us down....just let him get me. Go." he said. He felt so tired and sore and nauseous that he just wanted to flop over. He'd give his left arm for some food right now....or even just something to drink. Dehydration was kicking in. He wanted to sleep more than anything. Sleep was better than this. If he could just lay down for a while everything would seem a bit better. Brian’s gentle pulling on his arm brought him out of his thoughts.

"Nick don't say that. We are gonna get you out of here. You need to stop being so stubborn and proud and let us help you." he pleaded. The gunfire seemed to stop for now, which was a relief for them.

"We shouldn't have left the cave." Kevin said. Everyone knew he was right but there was no turning back now....even if they did it wouldn't do them any good. All five were tired and in a lot of pain. They needed to rest and they knew it. Nick was fighting off dizziness the whole time. He didn't know how much longer he could remain conscious.

"Now what are we going to do, Kevin? We can't just keep running forever."

Kevin looked at Howie and searched for an answer, but he had nothing. It was late afternoon, the sun was hiding once again. The five of them managed to lose Russell again and found a small creek, stopping to rest.

AJ stood watching the others, fishing in his pocket for a loose cigarette but when he came up empty handed he sighed and pocketed his lighter again.

"You all right?" Howie asked, appearing next to him. Kevin was rinsing the cuts on his leg and Brian was trying to talk to Nick, but it didn't seem to be working.

“Just a little stressed.”

“A little is an understatement right now,” Howie chuckled and AJ let out one as well.

"You'd think someone would have noticed we were gone. Don't you think it's odd we haven't seen any civilization for hours? Wouldn't they know when we didn't make it to the next stop on tour?”

Howie stared off into the woods, thinking. It was very odd they hadn't run into anyone despite their attempts to find the highway.

"I was thinking about that too. Didn't you bring your phone or something? We could call for help…”

“How stupid I've been…” Howie whispered, remembering the phone in his pocket....but when he looked at it, the screen was cracked from being thrown around in the bus. The little hope they all had was slowly fading. He sighed in defeat and threw it into the woods, letting it land in a pile of wet leaves.

“Well, so much for that-”

"Christ!”

At the sound of AJ yelling, Howie looked up to see Russell standing at the edge of the clearing. Brian stood in front of Nick to protect him, but his eyes fell upon the gun.

"I don't need any of you.....I am only interested in him." Russell said in a raspy voice, aiming at Brian's head. Brian was trembling but he stood his ground.

“Brian, don't do this please…”

"Back the fuck off him or I will kill you both."

"Like hell you will." Brian hissed despite Nick's insistent pleading to not get involved. Just then a rock flew through the air, nearly missing Russell's head. He laughed, watching Kevin pick up another.

"Watch it or you'll be first."

"Over my dead body." Kevin growled, managing to get by Nick even though his leg hurt to stand. Nick was frozen in fear, closing his eyes while his heart beat out of his chest as Russell clicked the trigger....

"That can be arranged."

Nick was practically wetting himself. He didn't understand any of this. He felt dizzy, and his legs wanted to give out underneath him.

"Why are you doing this?" Brian asked. Russell smiled at them, standing in front of Nick with the exception of Kevin, who was trying to stand. Nick looked at him, thinking. Why did he look so familiar?

"Justice...…for my sister, for Maria…for all women…he will never hurt anyone again." was all Russell would say. Nick felt horrible, they were all in danger and it was his fault. He just wished he could remember…

“His sister? You know his sister? What's he talking about, Nick?” Brian asked. Nick just trembled, he couldn't answer.

“I don't know him.” he lied.

Brian yelled at Sawyer…whatever the guy's name was know that he wasn't backing down. Nick hated anyone fighting because of him. All it did was remind him of his family. They'd spend whole days arguing over him, arguing over who he liked better, over his money and fame…anything they could argue about. Nick blinked back tears. He did not want Brian to give up his life for him. If anything he deserved to die. He was always ruining everyone else's life. He was a burden, someone who just got in the way.

“Please don't do this…” he whispered.

"You're not touching him. You'll have to kill all of us first." Brian said sternly.

All Russell did was laugh. Just straight cackled as if Brian told a joke that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. It was unnerving. Only the sound of the forest was his reply. Nobody said anything after that so he steadied and aimed the gun at them again.

"Have it your way then."

Nick shut his eyes, he didn't know what else to do. All he heard was the gun go off...and everything went black. He felt himself fall and heard faint screaming but he didn't allow himself to open his eyes.

He didn't want to wake up find out if it was real or not.

Nick heard voices but everything was black. They were far away, as if he'd been playing hide and seek and they just hadn't found his hiding place yet.

He often missed his childhood as troubled as it was. He missed playing with his siblings on their large trampoline in the yard, before he became famous. Before everything went to shit in his family. All he'd wanted to do was save his family. Rescue them from having to move from place to place and living in rundown houses. Rescue them from the fighting and tension.

He wanted to save everyone but there was nobody to save him. It was all his fault that Russell was after them.


“Russell…please…don't hurt them…”


"Nick...."

"Nick.... answer me...."

Nick was in darkness and he felt something soft cushioning him. He tried opening his eyes but everything was blurry, the lower half of him ached. His whole body was sore and someone kept calling his name, shaking him gently.

"Brian?" he whispered.

Even Brian was blurry.

"Thank god.”

Nick allowed himself to open his eyes, feeling the tightness in his chest. He could hear Brian's voice but it wasn't matching up to his mouth, everything was in slow motion and his stomach did backflips.

"What happened? Where is everyone....is Kevin okay?” Nick whispered. His eyes watered at the thought of Kevin being shot, blood everywhere. Kevin was like a father,. more than his own father. He knew he wouldn't allow himself to live if any of his friends were hurt.

"Kevin is fine. What's wrong?" Brian asked again. Nick felt his friend’s hand on his face, he just wanted to sleep.

"I'm so tired."

"You had us worked for a bit there, kiddo." Kevin pointed out as Nick's vision became clearer. They were by the creek, but no Russell. Was it a nightmare?

Nick managed to sit up....he looked around. It had obviously not been real. There was no blood.

"What happened?" he asked, blinking. Kevin sat in front of him, perfectly fine.

"We were all walking by the creek and you fainted. You said you couldn't breathe and you just kind of, well you fell and hit your head on something. AJ was freaking out." Brian explained with a small smile.

"I was not." AJ protested, crossing his arms over his knees and staring off into the woods.

"Don't let him fool you. How are you feeling?"

"Where's Russell? He was going to kill all of you....he shot Kevin...."

Howie took his shoulders, shaking off a dizzy spell.

"Nick who is Russell? I thought his name was Sawyer. Is that the guy who shot at us earlier? You need to tell us everything.....why is he after you?" he asked sternly.

Nick looked away, his head down. He felt like everything was his fault and the only reason anyone cared about him right now was because the guy was after him. If he could just get away from them, they'd be safe....

"Don't pressure him, Howie. He just woke up." Kevin warned. Howie eventually gave up and they left Nick alone, leaving him with Brian. Nick really started thinking when everyone was quiet. Russell in his dream seemed really angry, and he wondered who he had hurt. There wasn't time to think about it. He needed to talk to him.

"Nick you okay?" Brian asked, noticing the look on his face. Nick nodded but zoned out, especially when Kevin and Howie were discussing which direction they would head in next. Kevin said following the creek may help them.

It was late afternoon and they were all still at the creek, when a gunshot once again startled them. Brian helped Nick up and they ran....well, walked quickly because Kevin wasn't able to. Nick cried out at the next gunshot, he managed to get his hand away from Brian and pulled back, wheezing. His chest hurt again...the dizziness was back. He didn't know if he could run anymore.

"Nick, we have to hurry!" Brian shouted, taking his hand again.

Russell was a few feet away, his shoes splashing in the creek behind them. He had the gun raised, smiling like before. Nick fell to the ground, blinking because his head was spinning.

Brian turned around as Russell grabbed Nick, pulling him away from them. His arm latched around Nick's neck, choking him as he struggled. Howie charged towards him but the gun was pointed at Nick's temple. Everyone turned towards the two of them, horrified.

"Come any closer and I will waste him right now."

"Why....why are you..." Nick whispered. He couldn't get much more out because Russell had him in a headlock. Brian moved closer and Russell fired, laughing because Nick began to cry.

"Please don't hurt them..."

"These people are important to you, are they? Well you took my sister from me....now maybe I should show you how that feels?"

“But… I-”

It was then that it hit him. He knew exactly what Russell was talking about. Chloe. Russell fired at Brian again and Nick struggled, feeling once again like he was going to pass out.

"I didn't mean…..to hurt Chloe!!!" he gasped between breaths. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Howie go behind them. Russell tightened his grip. Nick was choking and he knew he didn't have much time. He could already feel like he was going to pass out.

"You fucking left her, left without a goodbye and now she is dead because of you....women are just objects to you. I've seen your groupies lining up at shows. You took away my sister...you hurt Maria, and now you'll pay."

Nick didn't think, he clamped his teeth down on Russell's arm....hard. So hard he broke the skin.

"Fuck!!!" Russell screamed, dropping Nick.

Everything happened so fast, Howie tackled him and the two wrestled on the ground as Nick dragged himself towards Brian. Russell threw a punch to Howie's face and he fell, not moving. Nick scrambled but Russell grabbed his leg.

"You're not going anywhere. You will end up just like Jamie....in hell!"

"Son of a bitch!" Kevin yelled, jumping on him. Nick and Brian watched them, Brian frozen in his spot.....Nick felt like he wanted to throw up. It was already his fault that they were in this situation in the first place, and now everyone knew.

Russell was going to finish it once and for all. He wasn't afraid to go back to jail once he knew that Nick was in his sights, and he was willing to do away with anyone else who got in the way.

He had to do it for Chloe.

Brian stood there as his friends wrestled with Russell in disbelief. The pain in his wrist was pretty bad but he grabbed Nick and ran, the two of them following the creek. Nick could barely keep up and was wheezing by the time they came to a river, hearing the others shouting in the distance. The river was fed by the creek and the water was high from the rain. Nick stopped to catch his breath and Brian begged him to keep going, but he didn't want to. He could still hear everyone's yelling from back where they came.

"Brian, we can't just leave them. We need to go back." Nick gasped, allowing himself to fall onto the wet leaves. His stomach ached and he just wanted to sleep, his head hurting from all of the thoughts running through it. He rubbed at his neck and finally sat up. Brian was pacing nervously.

"I had to get you away from that guy....he was going to kill you, Nick." Brian said urgently. Nick stayed on the ground, rubbing at his eyes. He felt grateful for Brian wanting to save him, but didn't like the idea of leaving Kevin, AJ and Howie behind with Russell. If he wanted to kill him, what was stopping him from killing the others?

"I don't think we should separate." Nick said finally. He picked up a stone off the ground and tossed into the river, listening to the water rushing over the rocks.

"If you think about it, we kinda already were before all this happened. What happened to us?" Brian wondered, shaking his head. Things were really bad before the bus crashed, and Brian had a feeling it would get worse before it got better. Nick silently agreed but finally spoke.

"Brian?"

"Yeah, Nick?"

"I'm sorry that I told you to drop dead. I didn't mean it."

Brian smiled and sat down next to him, ruffling Nick's hair.

"I know you didn't mean it. I still love you and I am sorry for saying it to you on occasion." he said, pulling him into a sideways hug. He helped Nick up off his feet, and the two of them continued walking.

"Brian, all of this is my fault. You don't love me. I'm a fuck up. I've always been a fuck up. I almost got us all killed." Nick protested. He really wanted to go back and get the others, but it was probably best to have Russell distracted while they got away.

"Who is Chloe? You mentioned her before. How do you know that guy?” Brian asked after some silence.

"It's a long story, Brian." Nick said, looking at his feet.

"I want to know.....everything."

Nick turned around, his back towards the river. He began telling Brian everything, the words spewing out without stopping. He told of how basically he had cheated on a girlfriend with Chloe and Chloe found out she was being used just as a booty call. He felt so guilty that he had tried contacting her only to find out she had committed suicide, apparently the reasoning for Russell's anger. Nick had forgotten about Chloe's brother that was in prison and now here he was, seeking justice. Brian listened in silence, looking at his friend and wondering how he should handle it. While Nick had screwed up, he didn't deserve to die. Nobody did.

Nick wiped his eyes when he finished, feeling incredibly guilty. Brian opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Russell came charging at them. Nick didn't have time to react, the force of Russell's body crashing into his flung them into the river with a deafening splash. AJ, Kevin and Howie came after, seeing Brian at the riverbank panicking.

"NICK!!" Brian screamed, scanning the water. Finally they surfaced, Russell trying to hold Nick's head under to drown him. Nick was putting up a good fight. Brian ran along the riverbank, trying to decide if he should jump in or not. His wrist still hurt and he wasn't sure if he could even swim.

“Brian!!!” Nick cried briefly before going under the water again.

Nick and Russell were struggling, fighting as they treaded water. It was cold and Nick felt his clothes weighing him down. He couldn't keep calling for help and Russell was desperately trying to push him to keep him submerged. He felt helpless as he kicked, not knowing what way was up or down. He felt consciousness fading.

As Russell held him, Nick started thinking, memories flashing before him. Was this what it was like to die? He was gasping for breath but was only met with water. Cold water surrounding on all sides.

On the riverbank Brian was frantic, knowing they didn't have much time to waste. He was about to jump in when he saw Nick appear above the water before Russell pulled him down again. Brian moved to jump but AJ stopped him, grabbing his shoulder. Brian started to panic but AJ kept a firm grip.

“AJ you don't understand…he's-”

"Brian your wrist is sprained. Let me..." AJ said before diving in. He didn't take long to find Russell, clinging to Nick's back to weigh him down. AJ landed a few punches and grabbed Nick, who was unconscious.


As he swam against the current, AJ thought back to all the times he and Nick argued. Like the time Nick hit him because he ruined his comic book. Stupid, petty arguments over the years that he even now regretted having. None of it was worth it. He just wanted to make sure they all made it out of this alive. Even if it meant that he did not. The water was getting colder by the minute and he knew that they couldn't stay in much longer.

He dragged Nick back to shore, it was a little difficult with the current but Howie helped get Nick out of the water. They didn't see Russell anywhere.

“You saved his life, AJ.” Brian whispered in awe. AJ smiled. For the first time in his life he felt he had done something right. Someone was proud of him. Was this what it was like to be appreciated?



After a few moments Nick coughed, spitting up the water he swallowed.

Nick lay on the ground coughing and coughing, wondering when this nightmare would end.

“The search continues for the five missing members of the popular singing group, The Backstreet Boys… who went missing a couple of days ago. The remains of their bus were discovered last night, destroyed in an apparent explosion in the wee hours of Thursday morning. No bodies have been recovered, but their bus driver Hank Mahoney was found at a gas station down the road from the crash site. The two incidents are being investigated by the police and any information related to this incident should be relayed immediately.”

Jason Sawyer watched the news bulletin with interest as he sipped on his coffee that morning in the diner he stopped to eat breakfast at. He'd been in the search for his brother Russell and had to take a break at his father's insistence.

“Can't search on an empty stomach.” he muttered with a chuckle. He thought of his father who was the chief of police….and of his troublemaking little brother. Their family had been having tension since Russell had gone to jail. Mrs. Sawyer, his mother disagreed with their treatment of their youngest son. The older Sawyer men pressured Russell often to straighten his act but he'd kept rebelling. He went back to his coffee, tearing his eyes away from the news to enjoy the rest of his breakfast when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey Jason, it's Manny.”

“What's new? I haven't heard from you in ages.” Jason said. He took a bite of his waffle and licked his lips.

“Look, I didn't want to bother you because I didn't really want to get involved but Russ has been working with me and I felt you should know.” Manny said. He was their cousin, from their mother's side. Manny worked as a roadie for the Backstreet Boys and often didn't come out to family functions due to working months at a time, but he was still in touch. Jason was surprised to hear this information.

“Did I hear this correctly? Manny, why didn't you say anything sooner...did you know he escaped from prison?” Jason whispered so the diner patrons didn't hear. He paid for his food and went outside so he could continue the conversation.

“Dude, I had no idea. He just asked me if I could get him a job with me to get back on his feet. I thought he was let out. He's been on the road with us for a while now…”

Jason ran to his car, his heart pounding. Remembering the news bulletin he just watched, his brain started putting two and two together. Russell had caused the bus crash. He was after one of them. Chloe had dated one for them but he didn't remember which one it was.

“Manny, I'm going to be in touch. Don't tell anyone else what you just told me about Russ.”

He couldn't wait to get to tell his father the news that could possibly solve the case.

**********************
The boys were getting tired as they'd spent a good portion of the day running.

"Come on, Kevin. You have to get up....we have to move." Howie pleaded. They were still near the river and it was starting to get dark once more. All of them were so tired and all Howie wanted at this point was to get everyone to safety. His own head still hurt, possibly from a concussion but he shook it off and tried helping Kevin up anyway. He knew they couldn't waste any more time, Russell would be back.

Back when the group first began, Howie felt closest to AJ...but he and Kevin bonded because they were close in age. They tended to do more together, and when things had gotten bad he found himself really connecting with him. Howie felt like he owed it to him to look out for him like he always did.

"I don't think I can, Howie." Kevin said in a defeated tone. He had strained his leg enough trying to protect Nick and now the pain was shooting through him again.

"Maybe I can carry you," Howie suggested, but as he really thought about it....he wasn't sure if he was able to.

"You need to get Nick away from here. That guy really has it out for him. Don't worry about me." Kevin said. Howie shook his head because he knew what he was doing. As the oldest, Kevin was always the one putting everyone else before himself. He was always trying to make sure the other guys had what they needed on the road, playing his role as the watchful big brother. Sometimes Howie wished Kevin wouldn't do that but he liked that at the same time, and he admired him for it. The two of them were the elders as Nick at one time put it so eloquently, “the old men” of the group.

"I can't do that knowing you are hurt." Howie said finally, trying to figure out the best way to help him.

"Maybe we can both lift him?" AJ said, appearing next to him. This surprised Howie. AJ was normally not one to offer to help with anything, he was so wrapped up in his partying lifestyle that he didn't bother. Since the accident he had really stepped up and saved their lives more than once.

"What are you staring at me like that for?"

"Don't mind him, AJ. He's just tired. We all are. Now how do you propose we carry me when we don't know where we are going? We haven't seen any people in a whole day. What makes you think there's a way out?” Kevin said. He knew Howie was thinking the same as him, AJ had never acted so bravely before, it wasn't like him.

It reminded Kevin of Nick's 21st birthday, when the kid locked himself in the bathroom and had wouldn't come out, spending most of the evening crying. Kevin and Brian had called overdramatics but AJ thought otherwise.

"Just let me talk to him. Please." AJ had begged. Kevin let him and pretty soon they were all at dinner together, laughing like nothing had happened. He wondered if he would ever find out why Nick was so troubled. It seemed to escalate the last few years ago and most if the guys knew it was due to his family problems at home. None of them thought otherwise, and now knew they should have delved into it sooner.

Eventually AJ managed to lift Kevin and lean him against his back, his arms wrapped around his neck. He showed little strain.

"Come on, let's get the hell out of these God damn woods." AJ said, not flinching at all. In that moment, Kevin felt like maybe things were finally turning around. He actually felt a little hopeful that it would be okay. After walking a few moments downstream, the three of them met up with Nick and Brian who weren't far down the river. Nick was sitting down, soaked to the bone and shivering and coughing. Brian patted him on the back and kept a watchful eye.

“You found them…is everyone okay?” Brian asked, noticing them. He smiled and they greeted one another.

“Is Nick okay?”

“For the most part.” Nick replied, as Brian patted him on the back again. Howie smiled and he just put his head down.

"It's gonna be dark soon, we need shelter." he pointed out, looking up at the sky. Nick stay focused on the water, not saying anything...just staring at it. He felt dizzy. He didn't want to endanger the guys any more, he just wanted to run and lead Russell away from them.

"I wish we had somewhere to go, but we don't even know where we are." Howie added. AJ grunted and hoisted Kevin up once more.

"You think anyone is looking for us?" Brian wondered out loud. It seemed weird that there hadn't been any people around for quite some time, although Brian figured maybe it was just that area of California. There was no sign of civilization anywhere since the bus crashed.

"Maybe for you..." Nick said softly before falling silent again. The others looked at him but nobody spoke up. They managed to talk Nick into getting on the his feet and once again they were walking, trying to ignore how hungry they were. The river seemed clean so they all took a long drink and felt somewhat better.

"Man I cannot wait to get onto solid ground again. This hiking shit is for the birds."

Kevin chuckled, that sounded like the old AJ....the one before all the partying and drugs....before everything.

"Well you shouldn't have worn those boots." Kevin said.

"Like I planned to be hiking through the woods Kevin.....sheesh." AJ laughed. They both laughed and felt a little better about the situation. Kevin noticed every so often Nick would glance backwards, as if he felt they were being followed. Russell had to be dead. Drowned hopefully.

"You okay, Nick?" Howie asked again. Nick was trembling and jumped at the touch of his hand. All he did was apologize and nod, not in the mood for talking. Howie was about to say something when Brian shouted.

"Look over there.....it's a campground!" he said, waving his arms.

"Thank fucking god." AJ said, his back starting to hurt from carrying Kevin.

It looked promising enough, there was a tent pitched by some picnic tables. AJ set Kevin down and sat next to him, rubbing his back.

"Okay, so where is everyone?" Howie whispered.

"Well, we can't just go up to the tent and ring a bell, D. Go over and see if they can help us." AJ scoffed.

Howie walked up to the tent, smiling. Finally things were looking up.

"Um, excuse me....hello?" he said brightly. Nobody answered so he called again, stepping closer. Howie turned to talk to Brian but was met with a gun barrel, his eyes wide. He could only think of one thing to say.

"Fuck."

“Fuck.”

Howie turned around to see a gun in his face, but it wasn't Russell. It belonged to a confused looking older man in hunting gear.

"What are you doing poking around by my tent?" the man barked. Howie gulped and laughed nervously.

"My friends and I need help, we were in a bus crash not far from here a day ago or so. We were just looking for help, sir."

The man lowered his rifle.

"You mean the bus crash on the main road? I heard about it on my two way in my truck. Sorry I spooked ya....name's Carl."

Howie sighed with relief as the man held out his hand for him to shake. As it turned out they had been in a state forest, and Kevin reasoned that was why they hadn't run into any other people. It wasn't summer and not many were camping. They were relieved to finally get some help.

"There, now that should do it. I can take you boys into town if you like in my truck." Carl offered with a smile as he wrapped Kevin's leg in a bandage from his first aid kit and handed out some water. They were all grateful to get something to drink but Nick was silent, staring off at the woods where they came from. He felt his chest tighten wondering if Russell was still out there.

"You all right, Nick?" Brian asked, offering him the water. Nick took a long drink and sighed with content.

"Not really." he said in a hollow voice. Brian looked at him with compassion. Nick had been through more than most of the guys put together and yet sometimes Brian wanted to take the kid and smack him when he got melancholy.

Nick was always throwing himself a pity party these days and the guys thought it was normal teenage behavior, until he continued to do it after turning 20. He was now 21 and had seemed to spiral out of control ever since his birthday....



"Nick come on....things can't be that bad." Brian said as he watched Nick look disappointed at his cell phone.

"It's my birthday. You think they would call." Nick argued, sighing.

"Maybe they are just busy. My mom didn't call on my birthday either." Brian offered. Nick rolled his eyes and looked at the phone again as if it were going to jump, Brian could feel his frustration with Nick building already.

"That is because we were overseas and couldn't get phone calls, Bri. Don't make this about you."

That did it.

"Nick are you freaking KIDDING ME? Don't make this about me? You have been holed up in this room all day stuffing your face and wallowing. I was trying to cheer your dumb ass up." Brian shouted.

"I don't need you to cheer me up. I'm not a kid anymore!" Nick said, getting up and crossing the room.

"All you do anymore is keep to yourself… Or push me away. Push everyone away! Fuck you, Nick!!"

Nick looked mildly surprised that Brian was cursing, a loud string of words came out of his mouth that would even have made a sailor blush.

"Was that necessary?" he asked without missing a beat. Brian was too deep in his sudden rage to care by this point.

"No wonder your parents didn't call you. If I was them I wouldn't either. You act so moody and antisocial these days I don't know how to speak to you." Brian said. He almost felt bad when Nick's eyes welled up with tears.

"So don't then. Nobody else bothers, why should you?" Nick said before finally giving up and locking himself in the bathroom. Brian spent the next hour trying to apologize, but it had taken a talk from AJ to finally calm him down enough to come out of the bathroom.

Brian felt horrible afterward and even now as they sat at the campsite, he wondered if Nick still thought about that night.


"Nick, I am sorry for what I said to you on your birthday." he said suddenly, patting him on the back. They heard Carl mention bringing them to town on his truck because Howie's head was starting to hurt again and they all couldn't wait to get out of the woods already. At least they felt better now that they had some water and a bit of food.

"Why are you bringing that up again, Brian? That was ages ago." Nick retorted.

"I was just thinking about it. I know this year has been a bit crazy for you already. I feel like I have been taking you for granted."

"Well you have a girlfriend now, you don't need me anymore. I get that."

Brian looked at his feet, he knew Nick was right. Ever since he had met Leighanne he had kind of pushed all his friends to the side. Even at his wedding, the guys didn't seem like they were totally okay with him settling down, but he was in love. Now that he was alone with the guys, he had realized how much he really missed spending time with them even when they were running for their lives.

"That's not what I mean, Nick. You're always gonna be my best friend, no matter what happens. I love you." he whispered, putting his arm around him. For the first time in two days Brian saw Nick crack a genuine smile.

Nick put his head down to hide the smile, pretending to look if anyone was listening to give them a hard time. Brian pushed him playfully, chuckling.

"I love you too Brian….I guess.” Nick said softly. He thought, or maybe hoped that things were starting to look up for the two of them after all.


Once the truck was loaded up with the camping equipment, Carl helped Kevin into the truck and the others rode in the back. They were finally about to see civilization again, they couldn't be happier.

"I cannot wait to have a long ass nap when this is over with." AJ said, putting his arms behind his head as the others laughed.

Kevin was about to open his mouth when they saw a figure on the side of the road.....watching them. He didn't say anything, but the fear rose to the surface again. Kevin recognized the dark eyes and cold stare. As the truck continued down the road, he was a bit relieved that Russell was on foot and they were in the vehicle. At least that would give them time to notify someone about him.

Or at least he hoped.

Russell woke up somewhere along the river feeling tired and beaten up from his second attempt to murder Nick. He found the gun lying next to him and knew it wouldn't work so he left it. Getting up, he walked until he came across the camp ground.

“Hello?”

Nobody answered so he poked around the campsite. He found some food, which he immediately took advantage of. Hoping he wouldn't get caught when the owner came back he made sure to hurry up in case. He was even happier when he found another gun, a shotgun and some ammunition in the second tent.

He was a failure, but not for long…


He knew he had failed and this made his blood boil, hearing Jason’s laughter in the back of his head. Echoing and taunting him from the forest.

"I told you so….."

"Shut up!!!" Russell shouted to no one....he was all alone on the empty road. He started to walk, muttering to himself. He saw the truck ahead and aimed, firing at the tires. Several of the guys screamed, urging the driver to hurry.

He would show everyone who the failure was this time.

**************************

“Shit!!!”

Kevin whirled around in the back of the pickup truck, hearing the gunshots. They were nearing the main highway when the shots fired. Carl was swerving to avoid them as they saw Russell firing from behind.

“Don't worry, Nick. We won't let him get you…” Brian said shakily. Nick was pure white, his eyes wide in fear. One of the tires burst angrily, causing the truck to swerve some more and veer off the road. Carl was cursing in the front. He managed to narrowly miss a nearby tree and stopped the truck. Russell ran towards them, firing wildly.

You'll show them. You'll show everyone.

Russell was going for Nick right away, a wild look in his eyes….almost laughing.

“Nick!!!” Brian said, pulling him along. Nick was so tired. Tired from running and not sleeping or eating…mentally and physically exhausted.

“Please hurry…”

Nick nodded and followed Brian but Russell had caught up to them and grabbed Nick, pulling him away. The others screamed in protest, pulling him back. It was a literal tug of war.

“Don't let him get me, please….”

Brian pulled with all his strength and AJ charged at Russell, knocking him to the ground while Carl was on the radio, shouting for whomever was in the area to send help. Russell fired the gun off but it didn't hit anyone. He was yelling unintelligible things, struggling under AJ as he punched him.

“Get Nick out of here!” he grunted.

Brian and Howie helped Nick and Kevin out of the truck as AJ continued to restrain Russell.

“I'll fucking show you. I'll show all of you!!” Russell screamed, punching AJ in the face. AJ reeled for a moment but came back full force. Russell knew he had to make a break for it if he was going to get the job done.

He had to prove everyone wrong. That he wasn't a failure.

Time was running out.

*************************

“See any sign of anyone?” Jason asked, as they were poking around the bus wreckage again to find anything they could about where the missing Backstreet Boys could be. Now that he knew that his brother was involved, things got a bit more complicated. The bus was completely destroyed, there wasn't much to go off of from that.

“No. It's like they vanished,”

“Officer Sawyer, We have reports of a incident just off the main highway, please respond. Over.”

Jason ran to his car and picked up the radio, his heart pounding.

“Sawyer here.”

“We had a witness saying they heard gunfire and saw a struggle. Pickup truck driving erratically.”

“Okay. I'll go check it out. Please send back up.”

Jason smiled. This was it. He was about to solve the case and find his brother.


When he arrived on the scene, he could see Russell struggling with one of the other men, yelling and screaming obscenities.

“Drop the weapon!”

Russell’s head shot up at the sound of his brother's voice.

“Fuck you, Jason! You're not winning this time. This time I'm finishing what I started.” he said, pulling one of the other men along. He did not seem to be putting up a fight. In fact, all of them looked like they were about to fall over.

Jason knew he had to act quickly. He assumed they were dehydrated and hungry…and in need of medical attention.

“Russ, please don't do this. You don't want to throw your life away…”

Russell fired a shot into the air.

“I'm not a failure and I'm going to prove it to you!”

So that's what this was about. Jason knew his brother was stubborn but not this stupid. Especially after the last time he was arrested for robbery, he was sure Russell didn't want to add murder to his list. Yet he seemed completely serious and that worried Jason, especially knowing that he now had a victim to barter.



Russell held Nick by his underarms, but he didn't even have to because he wasn't struggling at all.

“Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?” Nick whispered hoarsely.

“What?”

“That's what you want, isn't it?”

Russell closed his eyes….his hand holding the gun trembling.

“Or are you scared?” Nick asked.

Russell clenched his fist, hearing his brother's taunting again.

“You're scared, aren't you?”

Russell was on a hunting trip with his brother and father. One of the many times they'd tried to “toughen” him up. They'd given him his own rifle and and his father had shown him how to shoot.

“I'm not scared of anything….”

“Look at the big wuss.”

Jason laughed and taunted him as he stared down a young deer, his hands shaking. He didn't want to kill it to prove he was tougher.

“Russell, you aren't a man until you've killed something.” his father said.

“I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU…” Russell yelled, holding Nick tighter. Nick was finding it harder to get breath and knew he didn't have long.

Russell eyed down the deer, pointing the gun straight, but he couldn't shoot it. His father shook his head.

“At least I have one son who isn't afraid to do what it takes to be a man.”

The words echoed in Russell's head as he thought of Chloe…the one person who believed he could do anything. The one person who thought he was worth anything, and this asshole had taken that from him. Jason continued to warn him to drop his weapon as more police officers arrived.

“Well, if you're gonna do it….get…it over with then..” Nick strained.

Holding the gun, Russell again closed his eyes. The world around him seemed to stop, everything went in slow motion.

He wondered if he made the right decision.

Nick watched the world go blurry as he fell, as he felt Russell let go of him. There was a lot of commotion….voices in all directions. Panicked shouts.... Hands grabbing him…sirens. More gunshots. So much noise.He couldn't figure out what was happening. He was frightened. All he saw was darkness.

Was he dying?

As he slipped in and out of consciousness, flashes of memories came and went. His head was spinning and he wanted to throw up. There was pain too, so much pain. He was tired, hungry. So much pain he didn't know where it was coming from. All he wanted was for it to stop.

“Nick…”

“Nick…”


His eyes opened and he was on the tour bus being shaken awake by Kevin. He didn't know what year it was but he was considerably thinner.. He felt angry but couldn't remember why. His head throbbed.

“Hey, you didn't come to dinner. Are you okay? You don't look so good. You're not sick, are you?” Kevin asked, feeling his forehead.

“Fuck off.” he growled, pushing him away.

Kevin made a face and rolled his eyes.

“You know what, forget it.”


Nick wanted to tell him he didn't mean it, beg him to come back, but he couldn't. He didn't know how. It was as if he wasn't in control of anything. He was reliving moments of his life.

The bus faded away and this time he was in his bunk again, not knowing when or where.

“I'm worried about him. He won't talk to anyone.. “

They were talking about him again, most likely. It was Brian’s voice. He felt angry and didn't know why. Why was he so angry? It was obvious that someone cared. Why didn't he see this before? He wanted to tell them what was wrong, but couldn't. He couldn't control anything he was doing.

“Was I really this rotten to them?” he wondered as he helplessly watched himself yell at Brian and Howie, accusing them of talking about him behind his back. Watched helplessly as he drank himself numb and pushed everyone away. Watched his friends worry about him.

It was his turn to worry. He wanted it to stop.

“I don't want to die…”

Do you, Nick? Are you sure you don't? You seem content in destroying yourself.

“No…”

“I don't want to die….”

He could feel something again but he wasn't sure what it was. Anger? Pain? He didn't know. Blurs of light flashed in front of him.



Then suddenly it went black.

****************************************

Brian’s eyes went wide when he heard the gunshot. They all turned around to see Nick's body falling, his blood spilling on the asphalt.

“No!!!”

Russell laughed, dropping Nick and the gun.

He threw his head back and laughed. Laughed like he heard the funniest joke in the entire world.

It was as if time froze. Brian’s breath caught in his throat. He stared at Nick in disbelief, blood seeping through his friend's shirt. Paramedics rushed to him, police detained Russell and everything went in slow motion.



“Hey, new guy. I'm Nick.”

Brian smiled at the young boy with messy blonde hair in front of him.

“Brian,” he drawled.

“You sound like you belong on Hee-Haw.” Nick commented.

“You look like you're auditioning for the Lollipop Guild.” Brian fired back, and they both laughed. They laughed and laughed, and it was then Brian knew he and Nick would be good friends.

They were Frick and Frack. Two peas in a pod. Best friends….brothers. Family….until Brian pushed him away. He knew he had done it too. Pushed his friend away when he got together with Leighanne Wallace. Nick started to drift after that. He became withdrawn, started drinking more. Smoked more. Argued more.

It was his own fault….

His fault.

Brian closed his eyes, memories of their friendship drifting by.

“We will always be friends, won't we?” a 15 year old Nick asked, his head on Brian's stomach after they'd had a pillow fight in the hotel room one night. Kevin had come by at least twice to tell them to keep it down or they'd be separated, even though they all knew he'd never do it.

“Always, Frack.” Brian grinned.

Brian watched as Nick was carried to the ambulance. Was he going to be okay?



Suddenly there was a bunch of commotion. Russell was trying to get away. He was trying to run, struggling to escape the officer that held him.

Brian didn't feel sorry for him at all.

He deserved whatever he got.






“Do you think he will be okay?” Brian asked Howie once everybody was at the hospital. Everyone was checked over for injuries since the bus crash. Nick was in surgery, having sustained more than he had let on. Kevin needed surgery too, and AJ was being treated for dehydration and exhaustion. They were all very lucky to be alive.

“I hope so. Russell seemed pretty intent on killing him. All we can do is pray.”

“We should have killed that bastard when we had the chance, Howie.” Brian whispered angrily, his fists clenched.

“I know you're upset but you and I both know that won't fix anything. We just need to have hope. Anger won't help.”

Brian nodded and sat down, tired of pacing the waiting room. He wished he could do something more productive but they couldn't. Howie was right, all they could do was wait.

He put his head in his hands and started praying silently.

Prayer was all he had.



“You know why you haven't woken up yet?”

Nick sat in a dark room, pitch dark. He couldn't see anything but heard echoing voices that sounded muffled.

“Who are you?!” he shouted.

“I'm not finished with you, Carter. Not by a long shot.”

It was Russell's voice. He cackled from the darkness.

“How are you doing this?”

“This is your nightmare, don't ask me.”


Nick looked out into the darkness, wondering how he was going to get out of this new mess he found himself in.