The Light within Darkness
By Vicki


Kevin waited outside the small café for his sister to come out.
“ Karen what ever takes you so long?” Kevin asked as she came out.
“ Matthew wanted to say goodbye. Kev, you know that since we broke up I wanted to say goodbye.”
“ Why? Matthew always caused you such problems. Plus what will AJ think?” Kevin said holding her car door opened.
“ I know. But I wanted to say goodbye either way. I was thinking maybe if I did he’d finally leave me alone. And AJ knows I am here I called him when I left the house.” She said looking at him. Kevin shook his head and started the car. He pulled the car out of the driveway and watched as the sky darkened. It was threatening to rain as thunder clapped and lightning flashed across the sky.
“ Grand why doesn’t this nasty weather stay way longer?” Karen said looking towards Kevin. Kevin smirked and kept his eyes on the road.
“ Don’t worry we will get home before the weather changes anymore.” He said as the rain started to fall, reaching for the windshield wipers.
“ Well it’s already raining don’t tell me to worry.” Karen said looking back out the front window. She watched as the city passed by as it rained harder. She looked back out the front window and saw some headlights that seemed a bit closer than she would have liked.
“ KEVIN! LOOK OUT!” Karen screamed as Kevin tried to turn the wheel to avoid the on coming car. A loud crash was heard as the two cars impacted.



“ Hey have you guys seen Kevin and Karen?” AJ asked he walked into the room.
“ Not yet. But with the way it’s raining I figure they are driving slow.” Brian said looking at a worried AJ.
“ Could be possible. I will wait a while longer. I hated the idea that she met up with that creep.” AJ said sitting down, Brian looked at him strangely.
“ What creep?”
“ She was meeting up with Matthew tonight. A final goodbye she said it would help to keep him away from us. He’s been stalking us lately.”
“ Oh lovely. Well let’s eat something and then see if they arrive after that, they usually do.” Nick said sitting down. AJ shook his head and smiled. He could never imagine life without Kevin, Brian, Howie and Nick. And with the addition of Karen it was like their family was complete. He didn’t know about Karen till the year before when she suddenly appeared at a concert sporting a black eye and cuts and scratches on her face. AJ had taken an instant liking to her. Kevin had introduced her to Nick Howie and himself. He wasn’t sure why Kevin or Brian had failed to mention it. But when he got a good look at Karen he was instantly smitten, she was as tall as Kevin and had dark red hair and the most brilliant green eyes he had ever seen. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she was female there wasn’t much a difference between Kevin and Karen.
“ What you thinking J?” Howie asked looking at his friend.
“ Nothing.” AJ said with a smile. Brian walked over and answered the phone while he was watching his friends.
“ Hello?”
“ Yes I was looking for the family of Kevin and Karen Richardson.” The woman said on the other end.
“ I am their cousin is there a problem?” Brian asked
“ This is Orlando General Hospital, they have been brought in after an accident.” She explained.
“ We are on our way.” Brian said in a rush hanging up the phone.
“ What’s up B?” Howie asked.
“ There’s been an accident Kevin and Karen have been hurt.”
“ Damn, alright lets drive there and see what happened.” AJ said heading for the door. Brian grabbed his coat and headed out the door.



Karen opened her eyes and looked around. It was way to bright for her to still be in what was left of Kevin’s car.
“ Oh god, that hurts.” Karen said bringing her hand up to her head. She saw a nurse come into her line of site.
“ Your awake. Do you know where you are?”
“ Hospital?” Karen asked her vision swimming for a moment.
“ Yes that’s right. Do you know what happened?”
“ Accident. Where’s my brother?” Karen asked.
“ In the bed next to you. He has yet to come around.” She told her. Karen let her eyes drift in Kevin’s direction and almost smiled as she saw him stir.
“ Karen?” Kevin called out into the darkness.
“ Right next to you bro. Are you alright?”
“ I can’t see you.” Kevin said turning his head towards her voice. Karen looked at the nurse as a doctor entered the room.
“ What do you mean you can’t see me? This room is well light and I am right next to you.” Karen said, fear filling her voice.
“ Let me check that.” The doctor said, he brought a small penlight up to Kevin’s eyes and flashed it in front of his eyes. Kevin’s eyes never moved as the doctor tested their range.
“ So are you doing anything?” Kevin asked. He could hear Karen gasp and start to cry.
“ You can’t see the light?” The doctor asked. Kevin shook his head and let a few tears slip down his cheeks.
“ I’m Blind?” Kevin asked.

“ I’m afraid so. It might be temporary but we aren’t sure yet. We will have to wait and see.” The doctor said to him. Karen looked towards the door and saw AJ, Brian, Nick and Howie standing there. AJ moved over to Karen’s side and held her hand while Brian moved to his cousin’s side.
“ I’m Brian Littrell Kevin and Karen’s cousin. Can you please tell me what happened?” Brian asked taking Kevin’s hand in his own. He could tell his cousin was terrified.
“ Mr. Richardson and Miss Richardson where brought in after they had been removed from their car. Both where unresponsive when they arrived but it seems that both are awake now but since Mr. Richardson is unable to see we need to run some tests.”
“ Tests what kind of tests?” Brian asked feeling Kevin shaking, he knew that his cousin was a strong man and rarely if ever cried or showed any emotion at all.
“ Just some to find out what is causing the blindness.”
“ Do them.” Karen said from where she was. Seeing the fact that Kevin was her only family and Kevin wasn’t married that meant she had the authority to give that kind of order. The doctor nodded and jotted down the information and headed from the room.
“ I want everyone out.” Kevin announced. Karen knew he was angry and upset but she never thought that he would snap at everyone.
“ Kev we shouldn’t leave you alone right now.” Brian said trying to reason with his cousin.
“ Get out.” Kevin growled shoving Brian away from him.
“ Just go.” Karen said looking at AJ. AJ nodded and motioned everyone out of the room. Karen looked towards Kevin and heard what sounded like him sniffling.
“ Kev.”
“ I thought you had left.” Kevin snapped.
“ I can’t leave and you know I wont leave.” Karen said heading over to his bed. Kevin turned his head towards the sound of her voice.
“ You could have left.” Kevin said to her. Karen turned him towards her.
“ We have rarely ever been separated why should we start now. Kevin please don’t start shutting me out.” Karen said looking at her brother.
“ I will do what ever I want. I am the one who’s blind.” Kevin growled at her. Karen looked at him, into his blank green eyes. She was so upset she could usually read what was wrong in his eyes but they seemed cold and dead. What was she going to do if this was perminate? Would Kevin be able to handle that?
“ Yes I realize that and I am the one with several broken bones and a shattered shoulder.”
“ If you did why are you moving around?”
“ Pain meds are grand.” Karen said with a sound of laughter in her voice. Kevin sighed and put on a brave front.
“ Don’t worry sis I will be fine. You should be resting.” Kevin said to her.
“ I know but you sounded so sad and I hate that. Kevin you’re always so strong, the guys and even I come running to you with my problems. Please lean on us.” Karen said kissing his forehead. Kevin pulled her close in a hug and kissed her cheek.
“ Thanks for caring and don’t worry I am fine.” Kevin said to her. Karen wasn’t sure but she wasn’t going to press the issue with him right now.


It surprised Karen how much in the following week Kevin adjusted to the darkness of his world. He had been given a cane to use to help him get around. He wouldn’t ask for help and was determined to do things alone.
“ Hey babe how are you feeling?” AJ asked wrapping his arms around her waist. He had been very careful of her shoulder.
“ I am doing alright. Look at him. He’s lost in a dark world and won’t let anyone help him.”
“ He’s a strong man. He will finally ask for help when he is good an ready.” AJ said.
“ I know but it scares me to think that he would shut us all out of his life.”
“ Like I said he will ask for help. I’ve seen that in him. Been seeing it since I first met him.” AJ said kissing Karen’s neck.
“ No he won’t.” Karen said turning and looking at him. AJ knew that Karen was very close to Kevin, being his twin AJ knew that Karen knew everything about Kevin even his deepest secrets.
“ Give him time.”
“ I’m moving back in with him.” Karen said. “ Unless you prefer that he stay with us?’ She asked seeing the expression that had crossed AJ’s face.
“ I don’t know. Let’s sleep on it tonight. For now he can stay with us.” AJ said looking towards Kevin, who had bumped into a CD stand for the hundredth time that day.
“ Damn it.” Kevin muttered as he made his way threw the house.

“ Kevin come on.” Karen said placing her hand on his arm.
“ Where are we going?” He asked her, he didn’t like being led around like a child.
“ It’s time for bed. I was just going to lead you towards the bed room.” Karen said to him. She knew that Kevin hated being helped but it was either that or he spend time in a hospital till he learned to use the cane and the dog. She knew he would have to still be trained to use the dog.
“ How am I supposed to dance this way?” Kevin asked pulling his arm free of her grasp.
“ We talk to Fatima and see if she can work the routines around your loss of site. Kev the routines never change you should know them by heart.” Karen said looking at him. She watched his hands move out along the wall feeling his way to his bedroom.
“ I don’t want to be treated any different that I have been before.” Kevin said.
“ I can’t do that, your different than you where before. Kevin please let us help you.” Karen said touching his arm. Kevin shrugged her off and went into his bedroom slamming the door. Karen watched him and then turned teary eyed towards AJ. AJ pulled her into his arms and kissed her lips softly.
“ He will ask for help when he’s ready.”
“ He will never be ready. Alex I’ve seen how strong Kevin can be and he will never ask for help. When he hurt his shoulder he did things himself no matter what anyone said. It was the same when we where kids he’s always been very independent.”
“ I know he is. Kevin is a very independent person and as always been someone that has taught each of us that we can stand on our own.”
“ You guys can stand on your own. But something like this has never happened before and we have never had to deal with it. He’s going into hiding.” Karen said looking towards her brother’s room.
“ Come on lets get to bed.” AJ said leading Karen into the bedroom and closing the door behind him.



Later that evening Kevin came from the room making his way threw the house as quietly as he possibly could. He felt his way into the living room and sat down on the couch.
“ I am a failure.” He said as tears slipped down his cheeks.
“ No your not.” AJ said sitting down next to him.
“ What are you doing up?” Kevin snapped.
“ Couldn’t sleep. Hey bro please let us be the ones that help. You’ve always been the one that does things for us. Let us be the ones to do things for you.” AJ said putting his arm on Kevin’s forearm.
“ I don’t want to be dependant on someone.” Kevin growled.
“ I know this but do you want to come off as someone that hides from the world? The fans don’t know about the accident yet. At least not the part of it that lost your site.”
“ They do know.” Kevin said with a sigh.
“ How? None of us told them.” AJ said looking at Kevin. Kevin stood and felt his way to the fireplace and stood there for a long moment before speaking.
“ I was sitting alone earlier listening to the TV when a news broadcast came on and it mentioned the accident. Saying that Karen basicly walked away with out a scratch. But I knew better than that. Karen was hurt to she didn’t get away without anything. But it was brought up that I had left the hospital in a wheelchair and that I seemed disoriented while I got into the car. Alex they knew that I am blind.”
“ They don’t know and I want you to understand that if we do tell them it will be with you sitting there. We wont do anything without your knowledge.” AJ said hoping his older friend understood.
“ I know, I feel like a failure to Karen. She’s always been there as a twin and my best friend. She’s always been one that could turn to me when something had happened. I was there when she broke up with her first boyfriend, when she was in her first fight everything. I was able to be there for her. But now I wont be able to do that anymore. I cant even fucking see in my own home.”
“ Karen wants to move back.” AJ said his voice very low.
“ What?”
“ Karen said she wanted to move back in with you. That she felt that you needed her.” AJ said to him.
“ Really? I didn’t think she cared that much.”
“ She cares more than you could ever imagine.” AJ said to him. Kevin sighed again and made his way back to the couch. AJ reached out for his friend before he fell over the end table.
“ Thanks.” Kevin said as he sat down.
“ No problem man. Like I said we all want to help.”
“ Yeah I know. Thanks for the talk J. I really needed it.” Kevin said placing his hand on AJ’s arm.
“ No problem do you need help back to the room?” AJ asked.
“ Yeah if you would.” Kevin said waiting to sence AJ standing. AJ took Kevin’s arm and led him back to the bedroom and then let go as the older man entered the room and closed the door behind him. AJ stood there for a long moment and then headed into his own room, he looked towards Karen and smiled. He still had his girl and his best friend but how long would it last.

“ Leave me alone.” Kevin shouted as he shrugged off Karen’s helping hand.
“ Kevin let me help.” Karen said reaching for his shoes.
“ Leave me the fuck alone.” Kevin said finishing what he had been trying to do for over thirty minuets. Karen looked at him and finally stood and moved away from him.
“ I can’t deal with him anymore you deal with his attitude.” Karen shouted as she headed into her room. AJ looked at his friend and then at his girl.
“ You can’t keep yelling at her.”
“ Kiss off AJ I am doing fine.” Kevin said making his way threw the house.
“ Kevin let us help you.”
“ Leave me the fuck alone. I won’t repeat myself again.” Kevin said as he walked into the kitchen and out the door. AJ shook his head and looked down the hall to where Karen had just gone. He could hear her talking to someone.



“ Brian I can’t handle him anymore.”
“ Karen he’s your brother. What do you mean you can’t handle him?”
“ He’s always yelling about something. I am tired of him yelling at me. Alex and I have been calm and caring with him. But when he got that call from management about doing a new tour for the new album he just went nuts. He started yelling about that no one is working with him and everything I can’t handle this right now. Brian I found out I’m pregnant. Even Alex doesn’t know yet, I can’t deal with this stress right now.”
“ Ok I’ll come and get him and he can stay with me for a few days. Where is he?”
“ Last I saw him he was in the living room arguing with his shoes. He couldn’t get them tied.” Karen said. Brian could hear the frustration in her voice as she spoke of the one person she loved more than AJ.
“ He’s still adjusting Karen.”
“ He’s been adjusting for the last six months. I am unsure if I can handle the way he adjusts.” Karen said. She looked up to see AJ standing in the doorway.
“ He will be fine. Kevin doesn’t know how to ask for help.”
“ I am tired of him yelling at me. I am tired of him tripping over things and cussing at them.”
“ Kevin’s done that since we where kids and you know that.” Brian said trying to calm Karen. Karen sighed and laid down on the bed. She wasn’t sure if she could argue with Brian over this either. Ever since they where kids she had never said that Kevin was over protective or a pain. Now it was something she had never said as she called her best friend a pain.
“ Bri I can’t handle him anymore.”
“ Alright, Nick and I will be over later.”
“ Nick?”
“ Yeah he was on tour for his album and happened to stop by.” Brian said hearing the surprise in Karen’s voice.
“ Oh. Well come on over maybe it will do Kevin some good that you guys are around.”
“ We have to get together anyways since we are to go back on tour soon.”
“ Oh please don’t bring that up.” Karen said fighting off the tears that threatened to fall.
“ We have to, but Nick, Alex, Howie and I will be there so he wont be able to start yell at you. Alright.”
“ Alright, when will you be here?” Karen asked.
“ Bout an hour. Then we will take Kevin into the den and we will talk to him.” Brian said to her. Karen nodded even though that Brian couldn’t see it.
“ Alright, I’ll see you soon.” Karen said hanging up the phone. AJ walked into the room and sat down next to her.
“ What’s up?” He asked seeing that she was still fighting off the tears.
“ Brian and the others are one their way over. They needed to talk to you two anyways.” Karen said looking at him.
“ Alright that’s fine, why don’t you go out for a while. Get away from the house while us boys take care of business.”
“ Alright.” Karen said kissing him and then leaving the room. AJ sat there for a few minuets and then heading out to greet Brian and the others. He looked out on the deck to see Karen standing there looking out at the ocean while Kevin made his way along the shoreline.
“ Kevin, Brian and the others are here. They need to talk to you.” Karen yelled down to him. Kevin grumbled something incoherently and headed back towards the house. If nothing else Karen had noticed he could get around the house and surrounding grounds.
“ Don’t mumble just get up here.” Karen snapped growing tired of his attitude. Kevin made his way clumsly up the stairs and pushed past her.
“ Maybe you should leave things alone.” Kevin grumbled.
“ Kiss off Kevin.” Karen shouted at him heading into the house in front of him. Kevin grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly back threw the doorway.
“ What have I told you about yelling at me.” He yelled at her. Karen looked at Kevin fear apparent in her eyes.
“ I am yelling at you because you’re being an selfish ass.” Karen said trying to pull her arm free. Kevin held onto her arm tighter and seemed to only get angrier.
“ I am not being selfish you are treating me like a baby. I am tired of you treating me that way.”
“ Kevin you’re hurting me, I am not treating you like a baby, if you are acting like one that isn’t my fault.” Karen shouted at him. Kevin seemed to think about this for a moment and then shoved Karen away from him. Kevin stopped dead in his tracks when Karen screamed.
“ Karen?” Kevin called out reaching around trying to find her. “ AJ! Someone!” Kevin called out into the house. AJ came running out to find out what Kevin was shouting about.
“ What’s wrong? Where’s Karen?” AJ asked looking around the deck for his girl. That was when he noticed the broken boards.
“ Oh my god.” AJ said heading towards the edge, he saw Karen laying in the sand on her back, her eyes closed and he could see blood.
“ What happened? J what happened?”
“ She fell.” AJ said not believing what he was seeing.
“ What? Oh god I didn’t mean to. I just let go of her arm. She was pulling she said I was hurting her I never meant to hurt her.” Kevin said dropping to his knees. AJ turned towards Kevin and touched his arm.
“ She’s breathing, she probably got knocked out she’ll be fine.” AJ said praying that was what happened. Kevin didn’t feel any better thinking that he had just hurt his sister because she was caring about him. Kevin made his way inside when he heard Brian’s voice.
“ Call an ambulance.” Kevin said coming into the room. Brian looked at his cousin strangely till he looked towards the deck.
“ What happened?” Brian asked.
“ Karen and I where arguing on the deck. I think I shoved her and she fell. God I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“ Kevin we know this.” Nick said guilding his friend to the couch as Brian called an ambulance.

“ I Hurt her because of this.” Kevin said trying to move away from Nick.
“ Don’t worry about it.” Nick said, as he looked Kevin. His eyes just stared off into space, but tears streamed down his cheeks.
“ I have to worry about it I hurt my sister, my twin. God what have I done.” Kevin cried finally bring his hands to his face sobbing.




AJ stood on the sand watching the paramedics load Karen onto the gurney and wheel her off the sand and towards the ambulance.
“ Do you know what happened?” An officer asked AJ. AJ looked towards the officer and then up at the deck.
“ Yeah I know what happened.” AJ said looking at the officer.
“ What happened?”
“ My fiancée and her brother where talking on the deck. And she had gotten a little to close to the edge and fell backwards. Kevin is unable to see and wasn’t able to warn her.”
“ Her brother?”
“ Yeah Kevin is her brother are you sure nothing else happened?”
“ I am positive. It was nothing more than an accident.” AJ said looking back up.
“ Alright.” The officer said walking away from AJ. AJ hurried back into the house and saw Nick trying to calm Kevin.
“ What the hell happened?” AJ shouted as he came into the room.
“ I didn’t mean it.” Kevin shouted at AJ.
“ You’ve been moping around this house acting like the world owes you for what happened. And now Karen is hurt. If something bad has happened I swear to god I will never forgive you.” AJ said heading towards the door. Kevin sat there on the couch till Nick took Kevin’s arm and helped him out to the car.
“ Come on let’s go see Karen.” Nick said helping Kevin into his car. Kevin sat there in silence as Nick drove down the street.




“ We are here about Karen Richardson she was just brought in.” AJ said looking at the nurse at the desk.
“ What are you to her?” The nurse asked unsure about giving out information.
“ I’m her cousin. And this is her brother. And he’s her fiancée.” Brian said pointing to the group around him. The nurse nodded and lead them to the waiting room.
“ Your going to have to wait here cause she’s still being checked.”
“ Is she alright?” Brian asked suddenly
“ She’s conscious. But right now I am not sure what else to tell you right now. The doctor will be with you shortly.” The nurse said heading out of the room. Nick helped lead Kevin into a place to sit. Kevin hadn’t stopped crying since they had stepped into the hospital.
“ Kevin you really need to calm down.” Brian said touching his cousin’s arm.
“She’s here because of me. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I don’t know why I snapped on her like I did. I’ve never been that way.” Kevin said shaking his head. Nick placed his hand on the older man’s arm and then looked at AJ.
“ You where pissing off everyone, you’d be screaming at her for no reason and all she wanted to do was help. Kevin I want you to tell me what you two where doing before she fell.” AJ asked sitting down next to Kevin. Kevin sighed and ran his fingers threw his hair.
“ Karen and I where talking, well actually yelling per usual. She had said something to me, I can’t remember what and I grabbed her arm as she pushed past me as I yelled at her. I finally let go and I might have shoved her, cause the next thing I heard was her screaming.” Kevin said sadly.
“ Mr. McLean?” The doctor said entering the room. AJ looked up and walked towards the doctor.
“ I am AJ McLean.” AJ said standing there.
“ She wants to see you.” The doctor said leading AJ down the hallway to where Karen was. He walked into the room to find Karen laying on her side with her knees up sobbing.
“ Baby what’s wrong?” AJ said coming up behind her and pulling her into his arms.
“ Mr. McLean, I will allow you to stay with her while I speak to her family.” The doctor said heading from the room. Walking down the hall he made it to the room as the others looked up at him. The doctor noticed that Kevin didn’t move.
“ How is she?” Brian asked standing up.
“ She dislocated her shoulder, has a mild concussion, and has miscarried her child.”
“ She..she was pregnant?” Kevin asked holding in his tears.
“ Yes sir she was about four months along.”
“ Oh god.” Kevin said as Nick put his hand on Kevin’s shoulder.
“ But she’s able to have children again?” Howie asked placing his hands on Kevin’s shoulders.
“ Yes, but we also seem to have another problem.”
“ What would that be?” Kevin asked hoping he hadn’t hurt Karen to badly.
“ The moment she was brought in she was bleeding badly, we where unsure where the blood was coming from. It seems some of the board had broke and had severed tendons in her right arm. She’ll have no use of that arm till we take her into surgery and attempt to fix it. She nearly sliced the arm off. That would be the same arm that she dislocated.” The doctor explained. Kevin seemed to almost lose it at that moment. He couldn’t handle the fact that he had hurt her.
“ Mr. Richardson do you need something to calm your nerves sir?” The doctor asked.
“ No he’s fine.” Howie said watching Kevin’s reaction. He didn’t want his friend sedated.
“ Alright. I will be returning later to check on everyone. Miss Richardson is allowed visitors. One or two at a time.”
“ We are all her family can’t we all see her?” Howie asked.
“ Sure just this once.” The doctor said leading the entire group to Karen’s room. Kevin could hear Karen’s crying threw the wall. Kevin had noticed his other sences where taking over for the loss of his site.
“ I’m sorry Karen.” Kevin said walking into the room with Nick’s help.
“ Leave her alone.” AJ growled at him. Kevin nodded serves him right for the way he treated her.
“ I am sorry.” Kevin said again as Nick helped him sit down on one of the chairs. AJ shook his head and wondered what he was going to do. Karen wasn’t even totally awake as it was and he hadn’t been able to tell her about the loss of a child he didn’t even know she was pregnant for.
“ I didn’t mean it. I never meant to hurt you. I was upset over ever thing. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” Kevin said hoping for an answer.
“ Kevin she’s been sedated, she’s not even fully awake.” AJ said holding Karen in his arms.



AJ sat at the breakfast bar three weeks later. He watched as Kevin made his way threw the house, he had become more depressed and withdrawn. AJ let a small smile play on his face as he watched Karen make her way into the kitchen for something to eat.
“ Want some help babe?” AJ asked coming around to be behind her.
“ No, I’ll be fine.” Karen said reaching into the cubboard for a bowl. Kevin moved into the kitchen and stood leaning against the doorway. AJ had wanted Kevin to stay with Nick or Brian or anyone but them but Karen wouldn’t have it. She was still worried about the surgery she was supposed to have later in the month.
“ Karen?” Kevin asked hearing her fighting with the cereal.
“ Yeah Kev?” Karen asked looking towards her brother. Kevin made his way into the room and reached out for her but AJ stepped between them.
“ Don’t you dare!” AJ growled at his friend. Kevin took a step back and looked away. He knew that he couldn’t see the look but he knew it better than anything, being around AJ for as long as he had he knew the looked of mistrust and anger.
“ Alex stop.” Karen said placing her good arm on AJ’s forearm. Moving forward she pulled her brother into a hug.
“ Thanks for the offer to help. But I’ve seen you pour a bowl of cereal.”
“ Hey it’s not that bad.” Kevin said placing a soft kiss on her forehead.
“ Yeah it is. Usually you get the cereal all over the counter.” AJ said a hint of a giggle in his voice. Kevin smiled when he knew that his friend was finally calming down.
“ Alright I admit it I am a rather messy but who wouldn’t when they can’t see the bowl.” Kevin giggled.
“ Very true.” AJ said placing his hand on his friend shoulder. AJ smiled and hugged Kevin.
“ I am sorry.” AJ whispered in Kevin’s ear.
“ No problem Bro.” Kevin said returning the hug. Karen smiled and looked down at her arm that was in the sling.
“ When’s the surgery?” Kevin asked feeling his way to his sister.
“ Next week. They are trying to fix the damage done.”
“ How bad was it? The doc wasn’t really straight forward.” Kevin said.
“ I nearly tore the arm clean off. The doc isn’t sure if the fall caused it or if I had already injured it.”
“ I am so sorry.” Kevin said tears slipping down his cheeks.
“ Don’t be I don’t blame you. Kevin we are getting threw this and we are stronger than ever.” Karen said touching his face. Kevin smiled a bit but he wasn’t entirely sure if everything had been put in the past. He knew that without his site he was worthless.

“ Kev we have a meeting about the new tour.” AJ said looking at Kevin.
“ Really?” Kevin asked he walked behind AJ.
“ Yeah I wasn’t sure how to tell you. I mean with Karen going in for her surgery soon I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk to them let alone have u talk to them.” AJ said waiting for Kevin’s reaction.
“ Grand I would love to see how we are pulling off this new tour and album.” Kevin grumbled.
“ We’ve got the tracks already laid you know that Kevin. You don’t need your site to sing.”
“ Yeah true but I have to dance during the tour.” Kevin pointed out.
“ Management wants us to come forward about your blindness.” AJ said quietly. Kevin sighed and sat down on the couch. Karen was surprised that Kevin hadn’t exploded at the request that he was to tell the world he was blind. It had been almost a year and he was dealing better. Karen looked down and stepped over the German Shepherd that was on the floor.
“ I’ll do it.” Kevin said sighing again. “ Buddy, come here.” Kevin called out to the dog that had been laying on the floor. Buddy trotted over and sat down next to Kevin’s right arm. Kevin reached out and petted the dog’s head. Reaching over he put the harness on the dog and stood.
“ Alright lets get this thing on the road.” Kevin said heading to the door. AJ followed his friend and looked towards Karen.
“ I’ll be fine. I am going to call over and see if ma is doing alright anyways.” She said knowing that she hadn’t called her mother in a while and she knew Kevin hadn’t called at all. AJ nodded and hurried to catch up with Kevin.



Karen made her way threw the quiet house, she knew that the boys would be gone for a few hours. She hated only having the use of one arm but she knew that soon she’d be able to use both arms again. Finally getting done with the dishes that required rinsing before being placed in the dishwasher she moved down the hall to start on the laundry and then she’d watch a movie while waiting for the guys to come back. It was lonely in the large house alone. She looked down and smiled at AJ’s two dogs.
“ Hey boys. How about I finish the laundry then we can cuddle and take a nap.” Karen said watching the two small dogs happily bark at her. Shaking her head she placed the laundry into the machine adding soap she set it and went down the hall. She peeked into Kevin’s room. She couldn’t understand how someone like him could be this clean. Leave it to her brother to find a way. She gathered his cloths and placed them in the basket. Following the barking dogs she walked down the hallway.
“ What are you two barking at?” She asked as she made her way down the hall. Seeing nothing she sat down on the couch and picked up the phone. Dialing her moms number she called home.
“ Hey Ma.” Karen said happily.
“ Hey kiddo.” Jim said laughing as he heard his sister’s voice. Karen giggled when she heard that it was Jim answering the phone.
“ Where’s ma?”
“ What don’t ya love me anymore?” Jim said. Karen giggled again and about dropped the phone.
“ Yeah I love ya but I was looking to check in with mom.”
“ She’s out with Jerold.”
“ What are you doing over there?”
“ I like to visit only to find out she’s gone.” He said with a laugh.
“ Oh cool.” She said. “ How have you been?” She asked wanting to keep the conversation going.
“ I am doing alright sis. What about Kev?” He asked knowing Kevin wouldn’t call.
“ He’s doing as best as to be expected. He’s got Buddy now, so he’s getting around better, and he’s comfortable with the loss of his site. He’s got a press conference I am not looking forward to him doing.”
“ Still worried about him aren’t you little sis?”
“ Very much so, I’ve seen his anger and then his shame. Jim he cant hide that from me no matter if he’s blind or not. I know what he’s feeling.”
“ Yeah I know, you both being twins it’s a link. Plus you two where always together.”
“ Jim, he scared me that day. I didn’t see him in his eyes all I saw was anger. He can’t see and that scares him more than anything in this world.”
“ I know. Mom and I are going to come for a visit during your surgery is that alright?” Jim asked.
“ Yeah that would be nice. Kevin would love a visit from mom and you of course.”
“ Alright how about I let mom know you called?”
“ Alright Love you.”
“ Love you too.” Karen said as he hung up the phone. Suddenly she felt all alone.
“ JD, come here.” Karen called out the small dog. She had always loved the way AJ loved his dogs as if they where his own children. JD climbed up and sat down on her lap. He began growling loudly for an odd reason and stayed close to her. She watched as the other pups seemed to be acting the same way. She stood slowly and made her way to the doorway when suddenly her world went black.

“ Come on we got to get home.” AJ said once the meeting had ended, he didn’t think it would ever end and it had been after dark when they finally headed home.
“ When is the press conference?” Nick asked as they walked towards AJ’s car.
“ Noon tomorrow. Think you can remember that?” Kevin asked as Buddy hopped into the back of the car. Kevin got into the front seat and pulled the door closed. Nick looked at Kevin with sad eyes.
“ He’s still angry.” Nick said remembering the shouting match that had insued inside at the meeting.
“ Yeah he is buddy but remember he’s not mad at you.” AJ said looking at Nick.
“ He sounded so mad at me in there when I had said that I had put my own tour on hold. That I wanted to see him get better and watch him care and love each of us.” Nick said tears rolling down his cheeks.
“ Hey man he’s not mad at you.” AJ said hugging his younger friend. AJ wasn’t one to show emotion or know what to do when Nick or Brian or even Howie where upset he was one to hide is own fears and tears.
“ I’m not mad at you Nick.” Kevin said when he rolled the window down.
“ Really?”
“ Yeah, I found it was nice that you took time out of your own personal life to help out. Now we are getting back on track.” Kevin said reaching his hand out the window to Nick. Nick moved forward and leaned in the window and hugged Kevin.
“ Thanks man.” Nick whispered as he pulled away.
“ Any time.” Kevin said turning his head back towards the front of the truck.
“ Alright I gotta run we left Karen alone at the house and you all know how much she hates being alone.”
“ There’s something wrong.” Kevin said suddenly.
“ What?” AJ said looking at his friend.
“ I can feel it there is something wrong we have to go now.” Kevin said, AJ nodded and got into the car.
“ We will see you guys later.” AJ said as he pulled away. AJ looked over at Kevin and then back at the road.
“ You ok Kev?” AJ asked.
“ Yeah I am fine, I just have a weird feeling something is wrong.”
“ I gathered that but Karen is fine.” AJ said as they pulled down the drive way to his home. He looked towards the front door and noticed it was open and the dogs where in the yard barking. That was the one time AJ was glad to be living in a gated home. Kevin got out of the car and felt as Buddy stood next to him to lead him into the house.
“ Alex what’s wrong?” Kevin said hearing the dogs carrying on and whining.
“ Karen. She’s gone.” AJ said sitting down on the steps.
“ What? She was here when we left. Didn’t you set the alarm before we left?” Kevin asked making his way to his friend’s side.
“ No, Karen said she would be fine if the thing wasn’t on. I should have set the alarm.” AJ said sadly, Kevin placed his hand on AJ’s shoulder.
“ Don’t worry man, whoever’s got her will want money. She’s safe.” Kevin said hoping he was believing his own words.





Karen moaned as she felt her throbbing head wake her. She started to move her good arm when she noticed it was handcuffed to a headboard above her. Talking was out of the question as well since who ever had taken her had gagged her as well. She looked around the room and saw that it was a rundown home she was being held in. Even the bed was run down, she could smell the dust and mildew in the air. She didn’t even know who had taken her let alone why. Karen tried to move around on the bed to find out that her legs had been tied together and to the bed. She couldn’t even get free if she had wanted to. Her right arm was completely numb and since she had very little use of it as it was now she was trapped in a room. She closed her eyes and felt sleep calling her.

“ She’s asleep.”
“ Good. Next time she wakes up give her some water and something to eat.”
“ What are you going to do?”
“ Send a message.”
“ We weren’t supposed to take her Bill.”
“ I know that Brent but I didn’t see you suggesting anything else when she and those dogs started snooping around.”
“ Knocking her out was plenty.”
“ But we can get money from them didn’t you see the house.”
“ Yes I saw the house but she’s crippled and won’t bring much for profit. Are we ransoming her off or selling her?” Bill asked.
“ Not sure yet. How about both? We could ransom her and sell her. How many times have you seen us do this?”
“ Brent this is the third woman we’ve kidnapped but the first that is rich. Most where girls that we took where poor and rarely noticed.”
“ But they where as beautiful as this one, she’s more beautiful than the others.”
“ We will decide tomorrow. I am going to bed.” Bill said heading into one of the rooms.



“ Jay what are we going to do? I can’t tell my family that their youngest daughter is missing.” Kevin said sitting down on the couch.
“ I don’t know what to tell you man. I am not sure what to tell you man. I mean this is my girl friend but this is your sister your twin.”
“ We have to find out who’s got her. I don’t want to call the police. Alex don’t you have camera’s around the outside of the house.” Kevin asked his friend.
“ Yeah but what help is that going to do? You can’t see it.” AJ said looking at his friend.
“ Yeah I know but you can.” Kevin said with a smile. AJ smiled and headed to call the security company. He knew that they would have a copy of the tape.
“ It’s on its way. I’m thinking this wasn’t planned. As if someone came to steal things and just came across Karen.”
“ That could be possible. Are we sure we should do this tonight?”
“ Yeah I want to know what’s going on and who took her we can sleep for a few hours and then head out looking for her deal?” AJ asked.
“ No, cause I don’t think I can sleep during this time..” Kevin said jumping when he heard the phone ring.
“ Oh tell me that’s the kidnappers wanting a ransom.” AJ said as he answered it.
“ Yeah D what did you need?” AJ asked some relief rushing over him.
“ Just wanted to remind you two about the press conference tomorrow.”
“ Oh crude I nearly forgot. Alright we will meet you there at noon.” AJ lied to his friend.
“ Alright night you three.” Howie said as he hung up the phone. AJ placed the phone on the cradle and looked towards his friend.
“ Sorry it was Howie.”
“ Yeah I heard. Jay I’m blind not deaf. I am tired.” Kevin said yawing. AJ watched his friend and knew that they shouldn’t rest till they found Karen. But the stress of it all had come to head and he knew that even he was tired.
“ The tape is here I’ll watch it why don’t you get some sleep. I’ll go to bed shortly.” AJ said
“ No, it’s alright I’ll stay here on the couch, watch the video I can listen to it.” Kevin said. Kevin knew that AJ was worried about Karen and that they would do everything in their power to find Karen. AJ sighed and watched the video, he watched a van pull into the yard and two men come into his home and then there was nothing for a while and then they came out holding an unconscious Karen. He could finally see the men’s faces.
“ Damn got ya.” AJ said with some happiness. Kevin sat up and reached out and felt AJ’s shoulder under his hand.
“ What?” Kevin said hoping AJ would answer him.
“ I’ve got them. I’ve got them bastards.” AJ said, he could see their faces clearly and saw the plate number on the van.

“ Good morning.” Karen heard Brent say as he entered the room.
“ Hmm!” She tried as she looked towards him. Brent walked forward with a tray of food and some juice.
“ I bet your hungry.” He said tugging the gag in her mouth free so it could fall down so it was around her neck instead.
“ I know your hungry.” He said setting the tray down, he watched Karen’s eyes follow the food. He lifted the fork and brought it to her lips. She opened her mouth and let him put the food in to her mouth.
“ I want to go home.” Karen said looking at him. Brent looked away from her.
“ Not yet.” He said feeding her some more breakfast.
“ How much are you asking him for?”
“ We haven’t yet. We aren’t sure if we are ransoming you or selling you.” He said watching her blue eyes fill up with tears. He could see she was terrified.
“ Selling?” She asked looking at him, her eyes wide with fear. Brent looked past her and helped her finish eating. He placed the empty plate back on the tray and slowly stood.
“ I’m sorry I have said to much.” He said touching her cheek whipping the tears that had already fallen away. He pulled her gag back into place he picked up the tray and left her alone again. Karen let her tears roll down her cheeks as she began to sob.

“ What where you thinking?” Bill asked looking at Brent.
“ Telling her the truth. I say we ransom her and see how much we can get.” Brent said hearing the crying threw the closed door.
“ I don’t know I think we can get more money selling her. She’s a fine woman and is able to do a lot of work.”
“ She’s crippled. Look at her arm, she has no use of that arm.” Brent said looking at his friend. Bill shook his head and figured his friend had gone soft.
“ Don’t make me kill you.” Bill said looking at Brent.
“ You wouldn’t dare. I am older than you and tired of the bullshit. I’ve tried to defend what you’ve been doing, kidnapping those girls and we’ve killed a few. We couldn’t sell them we killed them. She’s rich get what you can from her boyfriend or brother. Come on man just do this just this time.”
“ No, if I can’t want I want for that little bitch then she dies.”
“ Call the family and have the ransom demand made. Make her call her boyfriend.” Brent said looking at his friend. Bill nodded and pulled his cell phone from his pocket.
“ I want her to scream.” Bill said with an evil look in his eyes.
“ I wont do that I wont torture her.”
“ I don’t want you to I will do it, as I’ve done with all the other girls.”
“ We can’t keep doing this we are going to get caught.”
“ Nope we aren’t and if we do your going down alone.”
“ I wont go down for this. I didn’t want to take her in the first place.” Brent said backing away from Bill. Brent slowly opened the door to the room where Karen was being held, Bill watched Brent’s motions as he made his way over to the bed. Karen looked up at him with fear in her eyes and she looked past him to see Bill standing in the doorway with a gun. Bill raised the gun as Karen tried to warn Brent. Brent turned just as Bill fired the gun. Karen screamed threw the gag as Brent’s lifeless body fell on top of her. She could see his glassy brown eyes looking out at nothing. Bill laughed and pulled Brent’s dead body off of Karen.
“ What’s the matter did I scare you? Good cause next I am going to kill you.” Bill reached out and touched Karen’s cheek and turned towards the door.
“ I’ll leave you alone with him, not like he’s going to help you now.” Bill said leaving, his almost evil laugh filling the room.






Kevin rubbed his shoulders trying to get the kinks out as he stretched.
“ Alex you awake?”
“ Yeah man.” AJ said yawing.
“ Do we know where she is?”
“ I made a few calls and the plate has been run. We will have an address within the hour. You hungry?” He asked standing up.
“ Yeah I am but we need to find Karen then food. Alex she could be dying.” Kevin said, he heard the doorbell ring and stood. Buddy moved towards the door growling.
“ Ya know there is a bonus to you having a seeing eye dog, he doubles as a guard dog.” AJ said heading towards the door. He looked out and saw a deliveryman standing on the other side. Opening the door slowly he looked at the man.
“ Can I help you?” AJ asked looking at the man as Buddy growled at the man.
“ I have a package for you.” The man said holding it out. AJ signed for it and walked back into the house.
“ It’s to small to be a video so what in the world is it?” AJ said sitting down next to Kevin. He opened the small package and dropped the contents on the to the table. He found a letter and several photos. He lifted the note first and began reading it.
“ She’s alive Kevin.” AJ said
“ Well that’s one piece of good news.” Kevin said and then he waited for AJ to say something else.
“ Well?” Kevin said. AJ stared at the pictures, he could see the terrified look in Karen’s eyes and the blood. He wasn’t even sure if it was hers or not till he found another picture that showed one of the kidnappers dead.
“ Oh god he’s going to kill her.” AJ said.
“ He wont kill her he wants money he has to.”
“ He does he wants 20 million or he kills her. I’ll get that even if I have to sell the house and give everything I have away to get it.” AJ said
“ You wont have to, call the others. Bring them here for a meeting and we can find out what each of us can come up with.”
“ Are you sure Kev?”
“ Yeah it’s my sister and Brian’s cousin we can do this. She’s family.”
“ I should have left someone here with her.” AJ said putting his head in his hands.
“ We didn’t know someone was going to break in Jay. Don’t worry we will get her back.”
“ How do we know? How are we sure they wont hurt her.” AJ said trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. AJ had already called the others and they where on their way to the house.






Karen watched as her captor paced the room she was in.
“ I am not sure what to do now. Should I call them and get the money or kill you and send you home to them.” Bill said smiling evilly at her. Karen let tears roll down her cheeks. The one person that would have or could have helped her was dead. Bill pulled his cell phone from his pocket and walked towards her. Karen’s eyes got wide as he stopped at the end of the bed. Bill made his way up her body, his hand slowly moving up her bound legs and then up her stomach and then to her breasts. Karen closed her eyes trying to pray that he would just leave her alone. His hand came to rest on her cheek as he yanked the gag from her mouth. Karen moved her jaw trying to get the feeling back.
“ Give me your home number.” Bill growled at her. Karen jumped and looked away from him. Bill grabbed her face and made her look at him.
“ Give me the number bitch unless you’d rather die.” Bill said to her. Karen gave him AJ’s home number. Bill dialed the number and held his hand over her mouth and nose, cutting off her air. She struggled trying to get him to move his hand as her body began to scream for the much needed air.
“ Hello?” He heard a raspy voice answer.
“ Alexander McLean?”
“ Yes, who is this?”
“ I have something that belongs to you.” Bill said looking at Karen, he could see she had stopped struggling.
“ What have you done to my fiancée?” AJ asked as the realization hit him.
“ Oh she’s safe for now, do you have the money I wanted?” He asked waiting for an answer. He again looked down at Karen to see she had passed out from lack of air. Moving his hand he looked at her slightly blue lips. Placing his hand on her throat he sighed feeling a pulse he waited for the answer from the man
“ We will have the money when it’s needed.” AJ said trying to remain calm.
“ I want it within the hour.”
“ I can’t get it that fast.”
“ Then she dies.” Bill said.
“ Wait, I will have it. Where do I meet you? I want to talk to her.” AJ said.
“ I will call you back in one hour. And you can speak to her then.”
“ I want to talk to her now. Please.” AJ begged. Bill looked down at Karen and smiled evilly.
“ Nope, sorry she’s not up for a talk.” He said as he hung up the phone. He again looked down at Karen and saw that her face had a slight blue coloring to it. Checking he noticed for the first time she wasn’t breathing.
“ Damn it you bitch.” He said trying to get her to start breathing again. He doubled up his fist and hit her in chest twice. She never moved, but he did hear several bones break.
“ Damn it.” Bill said as he untied her arm and unhooked her legs and pulled her over his shoulder. “ Fine if your dead your no use to me.” Bill said loading her limp body into the backseat of his car. He watched and waited wondering if she was faking it or was truly dead. He shook his head and closed the door, getting into the front of the car he drove quietly back to AJ’s home. He waited and made sure that the guards had gone inside, he stopped the car and pulled Karen’s body from the back.
“ Jesus fuck your heavy.” He said finally tossing her body into the water below AJ’s home.

“ Did you hear that?” Kevin asked.
“ Hear what?” AJ asked as he had picked up the remains of the phone he had thrown across the room.
“ A car and then the sound of someone falling into water. Buddy, come here.” Kevin called out to his dog. He could hear AJ’s dogs carrying on about something.
“ AJ let’s check out the noise.” Kevin said heading towards the side door. AJ stood and followed his friend to the deck and looked out he saw a body floating in the water.
“ Oh my god. Randy help me out here.” AJ said heading down the stairs, nearly leaping from the steps into the sand. He ran down the beach with Randy close behind him. Randy looked towards the upper part of the beach and spotted a man with a gun standing there.
“ Guys we have a problem I’ve got a shooter about fifty feet from where Kevin is standing.”
“ Roger that Randy I see him.” Marcus said coming from the house. “ Kevin, get back into the house.”
“ What’s wrong?”
“ Just get back in the house. The others are here, keep them company.” Marcus said heading out to see if he could catch the shooter.


“ AJ man, wait for me.” Randy said as he watched AJ wade into the water and pull the body from the water.
“ KAREN!” AJ screamed when he realized it was her, he pulled her limp body from the water and lay her on the sand.
“ AJ… AJ man let me help.”
“ Oh god she’s not breathing.” AJ said trying to feel for a pulse.
“ She’s got a pulse but it’s very weak.” AJ said tipping Karen’s head back and opening her mouth. He breathed into her mouth and watched her chest rise. He then did it again and waited.
“ Randy, call an ambulance.” AJ said trying again. “ Don’t you die on me damn it.” AJ blew into her mouth and the heard her gasp for air and begin coughing. Rolling her over onto her side he held her close as she coughed and gasped for air. Karen gasped for air again and then went limp in his arms. AJ looked down at her.
“ No god no.” AJ said shaking her. He looked up with tears in his eyes and looked at the dark sky. “ NO! No you can’t have her it’s not fair.” AJ screamed. Randy looked down at his young friend as he heard the sirens he knew they wouldn’t make it there in time.
“ She’s gone AJ she’s gone.” Randy said trying to help AJ stand. AJ held Karen’s cold form close to his chest.
“ No. No they can help her.” AJ said tears rolling down his cheeks, the waves lapping over her body. Randy looked up at the paramedics as they ran down the beach.
“ Sir let us help her.” The paramedic said.
“ It’s too late.” AJ said crying holding her close. The medic looked at Randy for assistance. Randy reached down and pulled AJ away from Karen.



*** AJ’s Point of View. ***

I couldn’t understand why that crazy man had taken her but those days where hell. At first we had just thought she had run off and decided she needed time away from Kevin and I. I know that Kevin was getting on her nerves as much as he was getting on mine. But he was my brother and hers, I wouldn’t just throw him out for nothing. We wanted to die when we heard she had been kidnapped. Kevin was beside himself with anger and guilt thinking that it was his fault. I on the other hand thought it was my fault thinking that if I had left someone with her she would still be here with me. It’s been three days since she was found on the beach and three days since she died in my arms. I nearly died with her, I called my mom and told her I needed help setting up the funeral. Kevin was in no shape to do it himself, when I called Ann I could hear her heart breaking when I talked to her over the phone.
“ Hey Jay come on we have something to do.” I heard Howie say. I looked at him and gave him a weak smile.
“ I’ve got to get her dress.” I said heading upstairs to our bedroom. I hadn’t slept in the room in days. I wouldn’t even sleep in there I couldn’t not yet. I heard Howie behind me while I quietly moved threw her closet.
“ Come on Jay. Your mom said she’d get the dress.” Howie said to me.
“ No I have to do this. She would want me to. This one, this one was her favorite. She always looked so sexy in it.” I said pulling out a sleek black and red dress.
“ Yes she did look very lovely in that dress.” Howie said guilding me from the room and downstairs. I would never hold my angel again. She was gone forever. But I knew that some day I would be with her again.


Now I am standing outside the church, the dress had been delivered the guy at the funeral home. He had promised us she’d look as beautiful in death as she had in life. Howie and I walk into the church. He had told me Kevin had been there for over an hour standing up with the casket. Who could blame him it was his sister his best friend we where morning today. I walk into the church and get hugs and condolences from those who have already arrived. I was so surprised to see the out-pouring of support there was from the fans as well as the family. The trial was to be in a few days for the man that had done this to her but right now I couldn’t deal with that right now I needed to say goodbye. Howie and I make our way towards Kevin. I stop to hug Ann as she is standing there. Brian’s parents Harold and Jackie had also arrived with Brian’s brother Harold JR. I was so surprised to meet the family members I had never seen. I hugged them all.
“ I am so sorry.”
“ So are we Alex. You where the best thing to happen to my baby.” Ann said to me. I nodded and tried to hold back the tears that had been threatening to fall. My dark glasses hid my sad and sorrowful eyes from the world. I couldn’t face any of them right now. A huge picture of my angel was near the casket I could see it clearly, it was one we had had taken earlier this year when we where happy. Another picture sat next to it a smaller one of the two of us together. Her sitting on my lap laughing you can see the picture was taken while we where at the home. Another picture sat next to it one of Karen and Kevin smiling before his accident before this all began. What I wouldn’t give to get her back to have this all have been a bad dream, and that I would wake up and find her sleeping in my arms.





**** Kevin’s Point of View *****

I stood alone in the church. I had had Carlos drop me off early and he waited outside. AJ ha picked a nice dress for her to wear and she looked like an angel, because she was one now. Her hair was done up so pretty and even had make up on. How could I see this I know your asking it’s cause the night of her death something inside triggered something my sight began to come back in shades. Things are still dark but it’s more like I am wearing dark glasses than anything. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I look at her face. I reach into the solid oak casket and touch her face. My twin my world. We had been inseperatible when we where kids and even into adulthood but now she’s gone. I will never see her smile, or watch one of my best friends make her laugh. I will never hear her tell me how happy she was with Alex or even how much she couldn’t wait to marry him. She had been making plans I had even seen the dress she had picked out. It was the most beautiful white dress I had ever seen. God I can’t believe she’s gone that I am here at her funeral and not at her wedding. A crazy man killed my baby sister and I want him dead for it. The police had found the man that had kidnapped and killed her. But the autopsy had told us that what had killed her was the broken ribs she had. Alex couldn’t have saved her even if he tried. One of her ribs had broken and had punctured her heart but it hadn’t killed her till he tried to revive her. I didn’t have the heart to tell Alex that when he was trying to save the woman we both loved he had killed her instead. I would never hold it against him, it wasn’t his fault, it was that mans fault and I will see him rote in hell. I see mom and my brothers coming into the church. Mom looks so bad, she couldn’t handle the news when Alex had called and told her that Karen had been killed. I see Alex coming in with the others. My entire family was here, Karen would have been so happy to see everyone together. Alex looks so sad, he’s been crying I can see it threw his dark glass threw the look on his face. He knows that I can read him, but after being friends for ten years and watching him grow up it’s kind of hard to miss. Nick is off to the side sobbing, his mothers arms around him. I couldn’t even comfort my little brother at this time when we needed each other and I knew that. I felt Brian’s arms as he pulled me into a hug.
“ Come on we have to sit down the service is about to begin.”
“ Alright.” I say. I take one last look at you. I will miss you my sister.

They all stood as the service began. It was a full church family, friends and fans alike all there to morn the loss of a close friend. Kevin sat next to his mother as she cried at the loss of her only daughter. Everyone sat quietly with the exception of the soft sobs from the women and even a few men. Kevin himself was having a hard time holding his emotions in check as tears rolled down his cheeks. He listened to the minister talk about his sister. He watched as people he had seen Karen with from time to time, her closest friends from home crying as they listened to the minister talk about the life Karen had lead and then doing a final prayer. Music began and to AJ’s and Kevin’s surprise Nick stood with Brian singing Show me the meaning of being lonely. AJ stood and walked over and began to sing as Howie joined him finally Kevin made his way there and sang. His final farewell to his sister and for some reason he smiled enough to know that she was watching him.







Kevin stood alone looking at the headstone, reaching down he cleared off some leaves that had gathered over it.
~~ Karen Ann Richardson ~~
Beloved Daughter, friend, lover and sister for all who will miss her. She is still watching us.
Born October 3, 1971 Died October 22 2003
God has a new Angel.

Kevin looked at the small inscription and ran his finger over the angel that was on the headstone. He had even paid extra to have a large angel statue over the grave it’s hands upward with a dove in it’s hand.
“ Daddy what are we doing here?” The little girl asked standing near Kevin.
” Karen this is your aunt Karen. She died before you where born. She’s your name sake honey.” Kevin said looking at his daughter. Her brilliant green eyes shine with unshed tears. She had heard so much about the Aunt she had never met.
“ How long ago Daddy?”
“ Six years baby girl six years. I met your mommy a few months after the funeral. She helped me threw my loss of my sister.” Kevin said looking towards his wife. She smiled and held the small baby boy close in her arms. He couldn’t have been happier. His heart still ached with the loss of his sister but he knew she was watching over him and his family. AJ had never married but had dated but no one would ever replace Karen in his heart and Kevin knew that. It had been six years since the day they had lost Karen and his world had come crashing down.
“ Come on Kevin, Alex is getting cold.”
“ Coming Jessie.” Kevin said looking at his wife. He smiled at her and took his daughters hand and led her back towards the car.
“ Don’t you have a concert in a few days daddy?” Karen asked.
“ Yeah honey I do. How about we go visit uncle Alex and see how he’s doing today?” Kevin said looking at his wife.
“ That sounds good. We haven’t seen him in a while.” Jessica said leading her family towards the limo that was waiting.





AJ walked around his house alone as usual. He couldn’t find anyone that made him smile like Karen had done. He still had pictures of them around the house. But like his mother had said he had moved on with his life.
“ Hey Alex where is the suit case?”
“ In the closet Morgan.” AJ yelled up the stairs. He had found someone to fill his heart but not like Karen had and Morgan knew what kind of relationship he had had with Karen and she knew she wasn’t going to replace the woman but she knew that AJ loved her none the less.
“ Kevin and the others will be here soon wont they?” Morgan asked as she came down the stairs with the suitcase.
“ Yeah they will be. I have a concert in a few days. Our first concert since the new album came out.”
“ Yeah, it was nice you guys dedicated this one to Karen.” Morgan said kissing his cheek.
“ It was Nick’s idea really. But it was sweet. Thank you for being so supportive.” AJ said turning around and facing her, her long red hair and deep blue eyes where so much different than Karen’s deep green ones and dark black hair. So much difference and yet the same love of life.
“ I want to ask you something.” AJ said looking at her. Morgan looked at him a small hint of worry in her eyes. AJ smiled and kissed her lips and then rushed upstairs without saying another word. Morgan sat there on the edge of the couch wondering what he was thinking about. AJ bounded back down the stairs and dropped down in front of her with a smile on his face. A true smile not something he was faking for the cameras like he had for the last six years but an honest to god smile.
“ What are you smiling about?” Morgan asked as he held her hands in his. His fingers softly moving over her fingers, he dropped to one knee and looked into her eyes as he pulled a small velvet box from his pocket.
Morgan Ashley Scott will you marry me?” AJ asked looking at her. Morgan’s eyes filled with tears as she looked at him.
“ Yes, I’ll marry you. Are you sure?” She asked looking at him. AJ nodded and placed the ring on her finger.
“ I’ve never been more sure in my life. And I know Karen approves.” AJ said with a huge smile on his face. Tears of joy and sadness rolled down his cheeks. Morgan pulled AJ into her arms and kissed his lips.
“ I love you Alex.” She said holding him in her arms, she felt him weeping but she knew that it was all right.
“ I am going to go and change. The guys will be here soon. Then we can go out to dinner.” AJ said rushing from the room. Morgan looked around the room and smiled. Pictures of her and AJ together mingled among the pictures of him and Karen. He had said that he could take them down if they made her uncomfortable but she said no, she didn’t mind having Karen’s pictures up. She knew that his heart still belonged to her and she didn’t want to take that away from him.
“ You looked so happy and free. I only hope I can make him as happy as you did.” Morgan said touching a picture of Karen and AJ. She smiled when she heard a knock at the door, stepping over the puppies that roamed the house.
“ Hey there Morgan I didn’t think you’d be here tonight.” Kevin said hugging her as she stepped aside to let him and his family in.
“ Yep. I moved in weeks ago. Didn’t Alex tell you?” Morgan said hugging Jennifer.
“ Actually I didn’t ask.” Kevin said as he led Karen into the room. AJ come bouncing down the stairs with a huge smile on his face.
“ Hey Alex what’s got you so happy?” Jennifer asked looking at her friend.
“ Should I tell them baby?” AJ asked as he wrapped his arms around Morgan from behind.
“ Sure.” Morgan smiled.
“ I asked Morgan to marry me.” AJ said looking at Kevin for approval. Kevin smiled and shook AJ’s hand.
“ Congrats man.” Kevin said pulling AJ in a warm hug. “ Karen would be proud of you.” Kevin whispered in AJ’s ear.
“ I know.” AJ said hugging him tighter.
“ Uncle Alex is getting married?” Karen asked looking up at AJ.
“ Yep. How do you feel about that?” AJ asked looking into the soft green eyes of Kevin’s daughter.
“ I think it’s great Uncle Alex. She makes you happy. Daddy went to visit Aunt Karen today.” Karen said looking at him. AJ’s smile disappeared for a split second as he looked at the little girl.
“ Really that’s good honey. I hope it was a good visit.”
“ Yeah daddy put some flowers down for Aunt Karen. He told me again that I am named after her.” Karen said with a smile.
“ You are. Your Karen Ann Richardson the second. Come on let’s get ready to go for dinner I bet your hungry?” AJ said kissing her soft pink cheek.
“ Yep.”
“ So am I.”
“ Uncle Nick.” Karen squeeled with glee as Nick and Candy walked into the house. AJ smiled as his younger friend had entered with his girlfriend. Behind him was Howie with his wife Melissa and then Brian with his wife Leighanne.
“ Seems we are all here.” Kevin said with a smile.
“ Happy birthday cousin.” Brian said hugging Kevin.
“ Thanks.” Kevin said.
“ You guys excited about our concert?” Nick asked picking up Karen and hugging her.
“ Yeah it’s going to be good to be on the stage again.” Kevin said “ The fans are loving our 10th album. God can you believe it it’s been 16 years since we started?” Kevin said looking at everyone.
“ Yeah we can. And are we going to do another album?” Brian asked. Brian had been so proud that each of them had released their own solo albums and still where able do several more Backstreet album. They where a big family and helping each other out when needed.
“ Yeah I love doing this. I say we keep doing this till we can’t do this anymore. How about it old man?” AJ asked looking at Kevin.
“ Sounds good to me.” Kevin said a distant look in his eyes. He was celebrating his 37th birthday that year and would have celebrated it with his sister had she not died. But he knew that she was in heaven looking down at him and smiling. So very proud of everything they had accomplished. The awards they had won since her death and the albums that they had come out with. Everything brought about with the emotion of the death of someone close.