~~PROLOGUE~~


"Hey are you going out with Nick Carter?", a girl name Stephanie asked me, while I was walking down the hall way towards my car.

"Yeah why?" I asked, confused.

"You should of seen him at he party last night. He was wild", laughed Becky, Stephanie's friend.

"Why? What happened?" I asked, kinda getting iritated.

"Let's just say you had to be there", they both laughed and they walked away.

I got into my car, eager to find out what happen last night.

~~CHAPTER ONE~~

I've been dating Nick Carter for 3 years now and I am now in my second year of a community college in Florida. My dream is to move to Maryland and become a small business owner but right now I'm living off of Nick's dream. He's a Backstreet Boy and very popular.
I live with him in his house and I am eager to find out what happen to him at a party he supposivly went too.


"Nick, honey I'm home", I yelled, hearing my echo through the hole house.

I went upstairs to find Nick moaning in bed.

"Let me guess your head hurts right?" I said, sitting down beside him on the bed.

"Yeah baby it does. Can you make it feel better?" He asked, putting in his puppy dog look.

"It wouldn't happen to be because of a party you went to right", I said, as I acted as I cared his head hurts.

His eyes widened and he stared right at me.

"What did you think I wouldn't find out", I asked, looking right at him becoming pissed.

"Ashley, nothing happened. I swear. I got drunk that was it", he said, smiling at me.

"So what did you do?" I asked, calming down a little.

"Well to be honest with you, my ex- girfriend was there, you remember Angela right?" He asked, sitting up from the bed, instantly forgetting about his headache.

"Yeah?" I said, now becoming pissed.

"Well she was there, but nothing happened. We talked and I left because she was trying to seduce me", he replied quickly and gave me a kiss.

"Your not lying are you?" I asked him, not sure of myself anymore to believe him. I know he never cheated on me, or least I didn't know about it. But what I don't know won't hurt me.

"I swear baby", he smiled, pulling me in a hug. "So how was my baby's day?"

The day went great. I had no classes and he was on break from everything. Life was great. We did some bonding. We had fun and life wasn't getting any better than this.

That whole party ordeal slipped my mind and I forgave Nick until then. Three months later...

We were sitting on the couch fooling around when we heard a knock at the door. I answered it and then I frozed. It was Angela at the door. I looked at Nick and then back at her. Nick came to the door and let Angela in. We all three sat on the couch. I sat in the chair, while Nick and Angela sat on the couch.

"So what brings you here?" Nick asked, confused and concerned.

"Well Nick, I have some news to tell you", she said, looking down at her feet.

I was confused and scared what she might have to say.

"Well what is it?" he asked her again, looking at me.

"I don't know how to tell you this but... I'm... three months pregnant", she said real fast.

My head started spinning and I ran out the room.

"How could this be?" Nick asked, looking confused. "We didn't even do anything".

I heard him say that and stood in the doorway of the kitchen, listening for Angela explanation.

"Well when you got really drunk, I took advantage of you", Angela answered, putting her head down in ashame.

"Oh my gosh", yelled Nick, realizing what he done. Then he quickly ran over to me.

"Ashley, I am so sorry. I don't even remember do anything with her, but I was really drunk though", he said in almost tears. "Honestly".

I wasn't angry or upset. I guess I felt sorry for him and I forgave him. Now I have to deal with his ex- girlfriend. Lucky me.

During this whole pregnancy, well it's been hectic. I'm losing Nick, and the worst part about it is, he doesn't realize it.

I was sitting at the counter when Brian and Howie came in.

"Hey girl", greeted Howie, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Where's Nick?" Brian asked, looking around the kitchen.

"Baby shopping", I said, in a mock tone, not looking up from the newspaper I was reading.

All the guys knew about the whole baby ordeal.

"Oh", Brian manage to say, suddenly feeling guilty.

"So how are you doing?" asked Howie, breaking the awkard silence.

"Alright I guess", I said, still not looking up from my paper.

"Can I ask you a question?" Brian asked, grabbing the paper from me.

"What Brian?" I said, slightly raising my voice.

"Well someone's grouchy this morning" laughed Howie, sitting down beside me at the counter.

"How do you feel about the whole baby issue", Brian continued to ask.

"I don't now. I don't know whether to be angry, sad, happy for him. I'm just so confused right now", I began, trying to hold back tears.

"Why are you confused?" asked Howie, with a look of concern on his face.

"I mean a part of me is proud of Nick for taking responsibilty for his actions or mistakes and another part of me feels angry that were even in this postion. I don't know why I'm holding on", I said, trying to stay calm.

"You know you don't have to be strong about this. What I don't understand is why your still even here", answered Howie, quickly, trying to get a few words in.

"Well I love Nick dearly. He means the world to me and I feel this is a time where he needs me the most. I'm not jealous or anything. I think it's just a fuck up way to use a baby to get a man", I started crying and Brian tried to comfort me.

"Ashley I can't say I know what your going through, but to be honest when I first heard about this I immediatly thought about you. And the worst part about it is there's a baby involved out of scheme, not love", Howie said, rubbing my back.

"I know, but I try to be there for him and support him. And I know that's wrong, but the only thing I know how to do", I said, wipin my tears from my eyes.

"Why do you say your losing him?" asked Brian, confused, pulling up a seat right next to me.

"Well we never do anything anymore. He has this "baby pager" now and whenever we go out it always goes off indicating something's wrong", I continued, tears pouring out more.

"Baby pager?" asked Howie, soothing my hair.

"Yeah, whenever we go out, I don't even put my things down anymore because I know that pager is gonna go off and usually's its always a false alarm", I said calming down a little.

"I don't know what to tell you", answered Howie, looking down.

"You know what sort of makes me mad? I know that this kinda sounds selfish, but oh well. I followed his dream, you know putting up with the whole music thing. I'm about to finish community college and go to a university, but I wanted to move to Maryland and become a small business owner, but now my plans are ruined", I said, queitly, feeling my tears returning to me.

"Why are your plans ruined?" asked Brian, confused.

"Now he's got a brand new life ahead of him. He's not gonna want to move to Maryland now", I said, playing with my coffee mug.

"He might not go, but are you?" Howie asked, throwing me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked, staring at him.

"I mean you don't need Nick to follow your dreams. Yeah maybe you wanted to move to Maryland with him, but now your plans have changed", smiled Brian.

"You know what? Your right. I love Nick and I'll always will but I don't need him. I can live on my own", I said, bringing a smile on my face. I put my coffee mug in the sink and the boys followed me to the couch.

5 months later

Angela finally had the baby. It was a girl. The boys decided to take a couple months off so Nick can get situated.

Nick was over Angela's visiting the baby while I was home and Brian stopped by.

"Hey Brian. What are you doing here?" I asked, doing the dishes.

"Hey can we talk?" he asked, looking at me sadly.

"Yeah sure", I said, drying my hands and walking toward the couch. We both sat down.

"What's up?" I asked, concerned and curious.

"What do you think of the baby?" he suddenly asked, catching me off guard.

"She's a cute baby, but it looks nothing like Nick", I said all the sudden.

"Yeah I saw the baby yesterday and I thought maybe the dark hair came from Angela and the brown eyes came from her side of the family", he said, forcing a smile.

"Yeah 'cause Angela has green eyes and Nick has blue", I replied.

"I'm thinking Nick's not the real father. I told him to take a maternity test, but he got mad and said no", Brian quietly replied.

"I don't know. How do you feel about this?" I suddenly asked.

"I don't know. I'm not happy about this. I mean putting the tour on hold. Everybody was pissed", said Brian, throwing his hands up.

"Yeah I can imagine", I said, slightly laughing.

"Hey I have an idea", Brian said all the sudden.

"What's that?" I asked, recovering from laughter.

"Let's go on the internet and find you a place to live in Maryland", he said, looking straight into my eyes.

I stopped laughing right away and finally agreed to it. It wasn't long until I found the perfect apartment. Then Nick came home. He looked tired.

"Hey honey", Nick greeted, giving me a kiss. "what's up?"

"Nothing. You just missed Brian", I said letting go of him. I was sitting on the couch watching t.v.

"Honey you look exhausted. What's wrong?" I asked, feeling good 'cause he was feeling bad. Then guilt washed over me when I felt that way.

"Hectic. All the baby does is cry and Angela bitches and complains", Nick wined, laying his head on my lap. "I missed you". He got up and held me in his arms. 'Gosh it feels so good to hold her again' he thought to himself.

Soon we started making out and he carried me up to the bedroom for an all night of love making.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. Nick was sleeping beside me.

"Hello" I answered, grumply and tired.

"Who's this?" asked the person on the other line.

"Who's this? You called me" I replied back, knowing damn well who it was.

"This is Angela", she said in a snotty tone. "Is Nick there?"

"Yeah he's sleeping and I ain't waking him up either", repeating her tone of voice.

"Well he's suppose to come over today", replied Angela.

"Did he say he was coming over or did you say he was coming over?" I asked, proud of myself.

"Look he said he was gonna help me out with this baby and by doing that, he's coming over today", she screamed in the telephone.

I looked at him sleeping and I hung up on Angela. I knew what I had to do. I woke him up.

"Hey honey", Nick said, giving me a kiss.

"Angela called", I told him, looking at him.

"Jesus! What the fuck does she want now?" Nick screamed in the air.

"She wanted you to come over today and help her with the baby", I quickly replied, moving a strand of hair out of his face. I was upset.

"I love you so much Ashley", he said all the sudden and giving me a kiss and a hug. I knew he was gonna go.

"I'll be home later today okay?" he whispered and got up and got dresses. "We'll go out today okay?"

"I'm not gonna be here", I quielty said to myself as I nodded yes to him.

After a couple of minutes, Nick left and I called up my friend Nikki. She was moving to Maryland with me. Then I called Brian.

"Hey girl. It's Ashley", I said to Nikki on the phone.

"Oh hey what's up", Nikki said in the other line.

"Are you ready? Are you packed yet?" I asked, hoping she was.

"Yup. Are you?" she asked.

"Almost", I answered, putting stuff in a suitcase. "I'll be over in an hour or so".

"Alright girl, see you then", she said then hung up.

I called Brian. "Brian?" I asked, on the phone.

"Hey Ash. What's up?" he asked, cheery.

"Brian I'm leaving", I said all the sudden. "Don't tell Nick where I am".

"I won't and Ashley?" he said, becoming concerned,

"Yeah?" answering him, finishing packing up and running around the room.

"You take care of yourself alright?" he suddenly said.

"Thanks Brian", I said, then hanging up. I finally finished packing and loading everything in my car. I wrote Nick a letter, took one final look and left.

I had left and Nick had just came home. He went into the refrigerater and got out a coke and saw a note on the counter.

Dear Nick,

I don't now how to explain this to you, but this is the best way I know how...I spent years and all of this time Thinking I was better off cause you were mine You always said it was your way or the highway So I'm shiftin' my life into drive I'm getting out,kissin' the past goodbye Like Toby said,"How Do You Like Me now?" This conversation has run dry And I keep telling myself


There's more to me then you
Don't underestimate what I can do Well I'm alright,it's ok
I know I'll make it through Cause there's more to me than you

I'm not sayin' I'm battered and bruised
But I might as well be with the words you use I believe in myself and that makes me stronger Things change, so have I I'm gonna make hay while the sun still shines You can clip my wings,I'm still gonna fly I'm on my own and I'm on my way And keep telling myself


There's more to me then you
Don't underestimate what I can do Well I'm alright,it's ok
I know I'll make it through
Cause there's more to me than you

There was always something that meant more to you them me And I'm just sorry it's taken this for you to see


There's more to me then you
Don't underestimate what I can do Well I'm alright,it's ok
I know I'll make it through
Cause there's more to me than you

Love you always,
Ashley


It was hours away before I reached Maryland and my cell phone rings. I look at it and I knew it was Nick. I didn't answer. I felt so guilty for not being there with him, but Brian was right and I thank him for that.

We finally got to Maryland and I saw the apartment. It was nice looking. Nikki gave me a assuring smile and we both walked up to the apartment, checked in, and got a tour around the apartment.

~~2 months later~~

"I am so bored", Nikki wined, sitting down on the couch, grabbing a magazine.

I was biting my nails.

"Why are you biting your nails?" asked Nikki, knowing I was nervouse about something, but didn't know what.

"Hey tell me when 5 minutes are up", I quickly answered, going into the kitchen.

"Why?" she asked, confused, following me in the kitchen.

"Because I said", I lashed on her, not attentionally.

~~5 long minutes later~~

"Okay, it's been 5 minutes now", Nikki finally said, looking at me strangly.

I dove to the bathroom quickly with Nikki following me.

"What's wrong?" she continualy asked me, until she saw what I was holding and my face went pale.

"Omg Ash?" she said, in disbelief.

I looked at her and then back at he object I was holding.

"Are you?" she suddenly asked me, looking at me. She grabbed the object from me. "Oh my gosh!"

"Nikki, I'm pregnant!", I shouted, feeling I was gonna pass out.

"Let's go to the doctors", Nikki said all the sudden, grabbing my arm and her keys.

At the doctor's office

"Yup, your pregnant", he said, with glee.

"How far along?", I asked, about to cry right then and there.

"2 months", he said, without hestitation. He took notice that I wasn't happy about this. "You know obortion is always an option", he suddenly said, catching me off guard.

"Are you crazy, not in a million years", I shouted back at him.

"Honey, who's the father?" Nikki asked, grabbing a hold of my hand,trying to calm me down.

I put my head down and whisper softly. "Nick".

"Nick is? How do you know that?" she asked me again, a little uneasy.

"Well it's been 2 months since we left and before we left I made love to him", I started crying and ran out the room.

"You gotta tell Nick", Nikki said, looking at me with concern.

"NO! He doesn't need this right now. He doesn't need another baby in his life", I said still crying.

"Yeah, but he's the father", cried Nikki out loud.

"I know. I know" I repeated, putting my head down in ashame.

~~5 months later~~

I was sitting ont the couch when I felt this pain shot through me and water everywhere.

"Omg! NIkki!" I screamed for her. She walked in the room and so water everywhere.

"Ashley it's not time. Your only 7 months pregnant", Nikki said, rushing over to my side.

"Yeah I know that, but this baby is ready to come out", I screamed, holding on to my stomach.

"Alright. Let's go", Nikki said, helping me up and out to the car.

~~5 hours later~~

"Push Ashley! Your doing wonderful", coached the Nurse, who was by my side the whole time.

"I see a head!" yelled the doctor. "One more push!"

I pushed with all my might and the baby came out but I didn't hear no cry. All the nurses and doctors rushed over to the baby and was yelling things to one another and running around everywhere.
My mind went wondering. 'What's going on? Is my baby alright?' All these thoughts went through my mind. Finally everyone stopped and the doctor looked at me.

"I'm sorry. But she didn't make it", the doctor said sadly. "But you can hold her if you want".

I held my baby and she was beautiful. Instantly I started bawling. I had a still born.

~~5 months later~~

I was still living in Maryland with Nikki. Things weren't going so well. I felt bad about the whole baby situation and felt that I should just move on. Nikki got into drugs and started stealing money from me and taking things. I thought it was time I should just leave her. So I packed my things and left. I went to go visit Florida, to see my relatives and to see Nick again.

I was at my mother's house when the phone ranged. I didn't know what my mom was saying, but all I knew is that couple minutes later, there was a knock at the door and my mom ran over quickly to answer it.

"Hello Nick, she's in the living room", greeted my mother, smiling.

I looked up and saw Nick. I felt the urge to just run over to him and hug him, but all I did was put my head down in guilt.

"Ashley, I'm not mad at you. Brian told me everything and I should be the one appologising. I am sorry", Nick said, walking toward me and giving me a hug.

We went for a walk on the beach and he was telling me things that went on and I just listen and nodded. I didn't tell him about the baby and I didn't tell him about Nikki. I told him I was just visiting. He was telling me about megan, his little girl and how she's gotten so big. How Angela becomes a bitch more and more and how he missed me and wished I just come back home.

We finally got back to what used to be my old home and we went in and sat on the couch. We started watching tv, when he poured his heart out to me and we made passionate love. The next morning I left.

I was back in Maryland, staying in a hotel when I saw this ad ~~Roomate wanted!~~

I called the number and met what soon to be my roomate. His name was Barry. He wasn't your typical guy. In fact he was special. He was gay. I didn't mind it. In fact, I fell in love with him. As a friend though.

I lived with him for about 3 months now. I having been getting my period and I told Barry about it. He took me to the doctors and guess what. I found out I was 3 months pregnant. I knew instantly who the father was and Barry, being a wonderful friend that he is, help me through all the process.

I was finally 5 months pregnant when I was sitting on the couch uncomfortably when Barry took my feet, rested in on his lap and started massaging them.

"Ashley? What's one thing you wish for?" he suddenly asked, looking at me, massaging my feet.

"My baby to be healthy and to live a beautiful life and for me to be healthy as well", I said, smiling and confused to why he even asked me that.

"I mean for you. Forget about the baby. What's your one wish for you in life?" he continued to ask me.

"To own my own bar. Be a small business owner", I suddenly answered, looking down.

"Why?" I asked him, confused.

"Just because", he said, starting to cry.

That day I found out that Barry has been battleling cancer and might not make it. He was right. 3 weeks later Barry died. Then I got a letter for the hearing of his will.

I went and found out that Barry was loaded. He left his mother his three expensive cars he supposivly had in a garage, left his sister $34,000, his brother his dogs and me a bar with $354,000. I wanted to die when I heard that, then I started crying with happiness. Suddenly when the hearing of the will was over, Barry's brother came up to me. He was sort of some business man.

"Miss Roberts?" he said, grabbing my attention.

"Yes?" I said, turning to face him.

"Look. I will give you double what that bar is worth, if you sell it to me", he said, smiling at her.

"Well Barry left that to me. Thanks for the offer, but no thanks", I smiled and walked away.

I was 8 months pregnant and my business was successful. Except for Barry's brother trying to get me to sell. The bar was doing so good and I was happy. I bought a small house and decorated and had a nursury set up for when my baby arrived. My friend Amanda was the co-owner and she was to take care of the bar when I go on maternity leave. I invested the rest of my money in the bar, for repairs and materials I needed.

Finally, after being in 12 painful hours of delivery, a baby boy was born.
I named him Michael Keith Carter. He was so beautiful.

One year later Michael turned one and I decided to call Nick.

"Hello?" answered a woman who was unkind.

"Umm...is Nick there?" I asked, becoming nervous.

"He's not here. Who's this?" she asked in a snotty tone.

"Umm... do you know when he'll be home?" I asked, feeling a little disappointed.

"I don't know. Who is this?" she continued to ask. I just hung up.

I went to go check on Michael. He was in the hospital. He had a mur mur in his heart and needed a heart transplant. Something I could not afford.

Time was wasting by quick and I knew I didn't have any help at this point. So I did what any other mother would do. I gave up my dream. I called Barry's brother and decided to sell my bar to him. He gave me $500,000 for it. Supposivly the property was worth a lot of money. I still didn't have enough. I sold my house. I sold it for $94,000, less than what I paid for. But I had to do what I had to do. I decided to call Nick again.

"Hello?" the same voice I despised answered again.

"Is Nick there?" I asked, praying he would be.

"Is this that same girl? I told you he isn't here. Quit fucking calling my house" she screamed and hung up the phone.

I was runnig out of time. I sold my car, the last thing I owned. I needed $44,000 more. I called my mom for help. I told her what was going on and she lend me only $4,000. I appreciate it, but it wasn't enough.

I called Nick again.

"Hello?" a little girl's voice answered.

"Hi Megan", I said, knowing who it was and remembering her name. "Is your daddy home?"

"Hole on" she said, walking away from the phone.

"Hello?" a woman's voice picked up.

"Is Nick there?" I asked, becoming fusturated. All the sudden I heard a man's voice.

"Angela, who's that?" he asked, curiuos.

"Honey, it's just some crazed fan", she said in a fake accent. I heard Nick walk away.

"Look you little bitch. I know who you are. I told you not to call here. He dosn't want to talk to you. Remember I'm the mother of his child, so he wants me not you. Now quit calling my fucking house!" she screamed and hung up on me again.

I called my last hope. Hoping he would help me.

"Hello?" amswered a voice I will never forget.

"Brian? It's me Ashley" I said, trying not to cry.

"Hey girl. OMG! How are you?" he said all in one breath.

"I'm alright I guess. Brian I need your help" I said, not wasting any time and getting to the point.

"Are you alright? Are you in danger? What's worng?" He asked all at once.

"It's more like a favor", I said, calmly.

"For Ashley, anything", he laughed, still worried.

"I need to borrow $40,000" I said all the sudden, surprised at myself.

"That's a lot of money. What do you need it for?" he asked, catching me off guard.

"Look I'll explain everything later. Are you gonna lend me the money?" I asked, becoming impatient.

"When do you need the money?" he asked, knowing it was for a good cause.

"As soon as possible would be great", I said, jumping for joy.

I gave him an address and the next day I recieved an envolope with money in it. I finally had enough.

The next day I watched from a glass window, watching the doctors operate on my baby. I couldn't help but cry.

A week later, he was finally released from he hospital and we stayed with Amanda. She welcomed us with open arms.

I needed a break. So I left Michael with Amanda and went for a walk. I was walking all over town. I still lived in Maryland. I saw a beat up looking bar, that the sign said open.

I walked in and the whole place looked like no one has been in here for years. The chairs were up, cob webs everywhere and dust filled the air.

I made my way to the bar and sat on what I thought was a stool. Suddenly an old man appeared and startled me.

"Can I help you miss?" he said. His voice was bitter.

"Yeah can I have a beer please?" I asked, kinda scared.

"What would you like ma'am?" he asked me. He looked like he was grouchy and a very lonely man.

"I don't care" I said all the sudden, my gaze wondering around the room.

He handed me a miller light and he spoke.

"So what brings you here?" he asked, looking straight at me.

"I needed to get out", I replied quietly. I looked at him and he smiled, which seemed like the first time he had smiled in years.

From that day on I went to the bar everyday. I didn't go there to drink, but to talk to him. I told him my life story and all he did was listen. I was gratful for that. I been going there for 2 months and one day my life changed.

I walked in the bar and I had a weird feeling.

"Mr. O'Henry?" I yelled, hearing my echoes in the room. I looked around.

"He's not here", said a man, coming out from behind the bar.

"Where is he?" I asked, looking at the man.

"He passed away last night. He had a heart failure", he answered sadly.

"And you are?" I manage to ask, before I felt tears stinging my eyes.

"My name is Victor. I'm am Mr. O'Henry's atterny, He wanted me to give you this", he replied, handing me an envolope.

"It's an invitation to his viewing, funeral and hearing of the will", he answered and walked out the bar.

A few days later, I went to his veiwing. I took Michael with me. Then I went to his funeral, then his hearing of the will. I felt so out of place there, but kept quiet. He had left his daughter the farm and everybody else something. But when it was my turn, he left me his bar and and the money he invested in it. He never used any of it because he knew his time would come, when heaven called. The amount came to almost one million dollars.

After two years passed, the bar became successful. I named it after Mr. O'Henry. 'O'Henry's bar and Grill. I moved out Amanda's apartment and bought a little house near the bar. I paid back my mom and Brian. Like I said, my bar was successful. I gave up on Nick. I stopped calling. Michael turned 3 years old and from there on, he wasn't doing to good.

I was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital when my mother showed up. I was happy to see her and rushed into her arms like some little kid. I just cried.

Michael's heart wasn't doing too good and needed open heart surgery. Being so young and small, there was a chance of him not surviving. But being so strong, that made the process a lot easier.

We waited for hours until the doctor came in the room. My stomach tightened up and I knew something was wrong. My mom grasped my hand.

"Ms. Roberts?" he asked, before speaking again.

"Yes?" I quickly said, standing up.

"I don't know how to tell you this but... your son..." he looked down before he could say anything else. "He didn't make it".

My world just crashed down and I bursted into tears and my mom just held me.

A week later I was at Michael's funeral. I couldn't even look at him in his coffin 'cause I knew I would lose control and go crazy.

After that was over, I took a break from my life. I made Amanda watch over the bar for a couple of days and stayed with my mom for awhile in Florida.

"Honey? Why don't you eat something? You haven't ate since the funeral", she said, concerned. She handed me a coffee mug and sat down beside me on the deck outside. I didn't look at her. I look out in the ocean.

"You know, you should call Nick and tell him what happened. After all he was the father", She imputed, worried.

"Mom, you didn't tell him I was here did you?" I asked her quickly, starting to panic.

"Of course not", she smiled and gave me a hug. I respected my mother so much. She was so strong. She knew what I was going through. My father and brother was killed in a car accident coming home from a camping trip when I was five. I guess she knew how to deal with these things.

After a couple of days, I got brave and decided to go to Nick's house and talk to him in person. I stepped on the porch and knocked on the door.

"Yes?" answered Angela nicly before realizing it was me and becoming scared.

"Is Nick here?" I asked. I was filled with rage, so I dare her to even get shitty with me.

"NO! What the hell do you want?" she said, somewhat raising her voice, then becoming scared.

"I need to talk to Nick. It's important. I know he's here. His prowler is in the diveway and he never leaves that here without him being here",I pleaded with her.

"Well that's not my problem", she said coldly. Right before she was about to shut the door, I stopped her.

"Look my son just died and I would greatly appreciate if you let me just talk to him. Please?" I begged, hoping she would feel sorry for me and let me see Nick.

"If I was your son, I would die too", she said all the sudden. My eyes filled with rage and I barged in the door and tackled her to the ground. I was throwing punches from left to right, busting her nose and lip when I heard someone crying.

"Mommy? Mommy?" Megan cried, seeing her mom bleeding. I quickly got off of her, assuming Nick wasn't home and left.

After a few days, I left for Maryland. It did feel good to be back.

~~One year later~~

O'Henry's Bar and Grill was doing awesome. I had a live band play there that night. To do something different. It was a busy night. I was working when the band started playing.

Occurred to me the other day
You been gone now a couple years
Well I guess it takes a while
For someone to really disappear
And I remember where I was
When the word came about you
It was a day much like today
The sky was bright and wide and blue

And I wonder where you are
And if the pains ends when you die
And I wonder if there was
Some better way to say good-bye

Today my heart is big and sore
It's trying to put right through my skin
Won't see you anymore
I guess that's finally sinking in
Cause you can't make somebody see
With the simple words you say
All their beauty from within
Sometimes they just look away

And I wonder where you are
And if the pains ends when you die
And I wonder if there was
Some better way to say good-bye.
I listened to the song and felt I as gonna cry. I just myself busy to try to ease myself from the pain I was going through.

It slowed down. The band left and I sat on the stool talking to people, then I went into the office to catch up on some paper work.

After a few minutes, Ronnie, one of the barmates came in.

"Hey gurl, someone's here to see you?" she said, smiling, looking at me.

"Guy or girl?" I asked, not looking up.

"A guy and he's hott!" she shrieked at me.

I looked up and smiled. "Okay. I'll be there in a minute". She turned around and walked out the office.

A few minutes later I got up, stretched and walked out into the bar. I looked up and I gasped. I was in shock. I didn't know what to say and a million thoughts ran through my mind at the moment.

"Well it's nice to see you too, Ashley", the man smiled at me, looking me up and down.

"What are you doing here?... I mean...what a surprise", I manage to say, not being able to look him in the eye.

"Look's like your not happy to see me?" he answered, beoming disappointed.

"No I... I am... but oh man", I said, not knowing what to say. For years, I have been trying to get a hold of this man and I didn't succeed. Now he was sitting right in front of my face and I'm not doing anything about it.

Amanda looked at me and walked over to me. "Honey, if you wanna leave and go talk, I'll close up tonight?" she said, smiling at me and looking at Nick, knowing axactly who he was. No not a Backstreet boy or Nick Carter, but the father of my two babies.

I gave a smile that read thank you and me and Nick left.

I pulled into my driveway and got out the car. The whole 10 minute ride from the bar, we didn't say a word to eachother.

"This is your house?" asked Nick, impressed.

"Yeah, well it's not as big as your house, but its something I like to call home", I manage to say, unlocking the door. It was a house, 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. Three stories, and a swimming pool.

We walked in and I put my purse down on the table and turned on the lights. It was colorful.

"Great house", said Nick, his eyes wondering around.

"Make yourself at home. I'll be right back. I'm gonna go change", I said, leaving his side and walking upstairs.

He looked around and his eyes fell on the pictures that were hanging on the wall in the living room.

There was a picture of me holding Michael when he was 2. A baby picture of him, when he was born. A picture of me and Barry when I was 5 month's pregnant. A picture of me and Nikki, when I was 7 month's pregnant. A picture of me, mom, and Michael when he was 2 1/2. A picture of me and Mr. O'Henry and a picture of my mom and Michael. That one was my favorite.

He looked over on the mantle and saw another picture of michael and me, where he's sitting my lap and picture of Michael and our dog, Grover. I had him put to sleep right after Michael died. Then he looked over at the table where the lamp was and saw a picture of himself and me together. He picked it up and looked at it.

"Well Nick?" I said, startleling him as I watched him put the picture frame back down. We both sat on the couch.

"So Nick was brings you here to Maryland?" I asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

"You", he said, without hesitation.

"Me?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah. I came here to find you", he said, leaning back on the couch.

"Well you found me" I said, forcing a smile.

"This is a nice place you got here", he said, still looking around, he eyes falling back on the pictures.

"Thanks. You don't understand what I had to go through", I quietly said, hoping he didn't hear me.

"What was that?" he asked, didn't hear quite what I had said.

"Nick? We have to talk?" I said all the sudden.

"Yeah I know, but first tell me who that is?" he asked, pointing at the picture of me and Michael, posing.

"Nick, that's Michael. He's my son" I said, looking at Nick.

"Your son?" he asked, confused and curious.

"Yeah. He was 2 in that picture", I said, smiling.

"Is that the father?" he asked, pointing to Barry and then my stomach.

"No No. Barry was a wonderful man. He was like my best friend and help me out greatly during my pregnancy", I said, knowing I had to tell him pretty soon.

"Who's that?" he asked, pointing at the old man.

"Oh that's Mr. O'Henry. He's the one I named my bar after", I smiled at the good times we shared.

"Oh. So where's Michael at?" he suddenly asked, catching me off guard. I didn't answer. I frozed.

"Are you there?" asked Nick, waving his hands in front of me.

"He died about a year ago", I whispered, putting my head down and trying not to cry.

"Oh I'm so sorry", he suddenly said, pulling me in a hug.

We finally broke apart and he looked in my eyes.

"How did he die?" he suddenly asked, knocking me out of thought. "You don't have to answer that if you don't want to".

I tried to stay strong and finally spoke.

"Nick, I really needed to talk to you and this is a long story", I manage to say before standing up on my feet.

"Where you going?" he asked, still sitting down, looking up at me.

"If I'm gonna tell you a long story, I mine as well get comfortable", I said. Then I headed to the kitchen.

Minutes later I'm came back with a bag of Doritos and chips. A pint of ice cream with 2 spoons, and sodas. I sat back down.

"Alright, do you remember that night before I left?" I asked him. not able to look at him, feeling guilty.

"Was it the first time or the second time?" he asked me, not taking his eyes off me, somewhat laughing.

"The first time", I answered, forcing a smile.

"Yeah, what about it?" he asked, confused and curious.

"Well, not two months I was here, I found out I was pregnant", I answered, looking down at the floor.

"And...who was the father?" he asked, anxious to know.

"You were", I whisoer softly.

"I was, why didn't you tell me?" he asked, standing up, looking down at me.

"Would you let me finish?" I said, pulling him back down.

"I'm sorry. Please do continue", he said in a more sincere tone.

"Well I didn't want to tell you because you already had enough problems as it already is", I said, feeling really guilty now.

"You know, sonce it was you, it would made me happy", he replied, grapping my hand.

"I know that now, but I didn't know that then. Anyways... when I was seven months pregnant, I went into labor. Nikki was by my side the whole time", I said, trying not to cry.

"Was it a boy or girl?" he suddenly asked me.

"A girl... but I had a still born", I blurted out, tears falling from eyes.

"You mean a misscarriage?" he asked, confused.

"No I mean a still born. I wish I had a misscarriage. A still born is when the baby is born dead, fully developed", I cried. He pulled me into a hug.

After a few minutes, we broke apart and I continued.

"Well after that, a couple of months later, Nikki got into drugs and started stealing things from me and I had to get away. So I came back to Florida", I said, calming down.

"Then what happened?" he asked, curious.

"Well we made love that night and I left for the second time", I answered him, feeling guitly again.

"I know. I thought I had you back, but just like that, you were gone again", he said, snapping his fingers.

"I went back to Maryland, where I met Barry. I stayed with him. After three months of staying with him, I found out I was pregnant. Then when I was five months pregnant, Barry died of cancer, leaving me a bar and lot's of money", I said, smiling at that memory.

"Wow! A bar and money?" he asked, astonished.

"Yeah. I had bought a house and the bar was successful. Then I had Michael", I said, crying again.

Nick just hugged me againa and rubbed my back.

"When he turned one, he needed a heart transplant, because he had a hole in his heart that was getting bigger and bigger by the day. That's when I called you for help"< I calmed down and looked at Nick.

"You called me?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah, but that bitch answered the phone and you weren't home.

"Ashley, you know I never get to go anywhere when I'm with her. she always uses that excuse, 'you said you were gonna help me with megan, and by doing that, you can stay here'" he laughed, trying to get his mind off that memory.

"So you were home?" I asked, getting somewhat pissed.

"Yeah. I can't believe she did that", he said, looking down at the floor, his mind wondering.

"Anyways... I knew I didn't have any help at the time and I couldn't afford no heart transplant, so I did what any other mother would do" I said, feeling proud of myself.

"What you do? he asked, curious.

"I sold my bar, my house and my car", I rushed to say, feeling proud.

"Wow, you did all that for Michael?" he asked, surprised and shocked.

"Yeah. Nick, he's my son. I would die for him", I said, confused to why he even would say that.

"You know, your one of a kind Ashley", he said, smiling at me.

"Yeah well I still didn't have enough", I suddenly said, my smile fell to a frown.

"What did you do?" he asked, interested now.

"Well I asked my mom for money and she only gave me four grand. I appreciate it, but it wasn't enough. I still needed forty grand. So I called you again", I said, putting my head down.

"I can guess what happen over the phone. What a bitch", he screamed at himself. "How did you get forty grand?"

"Brian. He lend it to me. I told him not to tell you because I wanted to tell you everything in person", I said, looking in his eyes.

"Well... then what happened?" he asked, aking a sip from his drink.

"Well, Michael got the surgery and we had no place to go so we stayed with my friend Amanda. She welcomed us with open arms", I said, smiling.

"Oh. Was that that girl I met tonight?" he said, smiling.

"Yeah", I said, laughing.

"But anyways I met Mr. O'Henry at a beat up bar I went to. I needed to get out. I enjoyed talkng to him. I went there everyday to see him, not to drink, but to talk to him", I saod, laughing at the memories we shared.

"Then what happened?" he asked, curious.

"After a few months... he died... of heart failure", I said, a tear escaping my eyes. "He left me that bar and almost one million dollars".

"Oh", he was speechless.

"I fixed up the bar, it became successful, then a year ago, Michael had to undergo open heart surgery", I said, letting the tears flow. I continued. "The doctors said being do young and little, he might not make it. But being so strong made it a lot easier", I said, grabbing a tissue.

I gather my composure and continued...

"Being too young and little got the best of him and... di...died...right on...the operating...table", I said. I couldn't speak anymore and my tears came pouring out. Nick grabbed me and pulled to his chest, stroking my hair. He cried too.

"Then after he died...", I continued, after sitting up. "I stayed with my mom for awhile and I went over to your house, your prowler was there, so I knew you were there and she said you wasn't and she pissed me off and I attacked her. Then after one year later, you come along and I tell you everything", I said all in one breathe. "So Nick, what have you been up too?" I grabbed a dorito.

Nick looked at me and he looked like he was gonna cry, but he kept strong and told his story.

"Well, it's nothing compared to yours but being with Angela, I think were tied", he laughed, trying to make me laugh. It made me angry.

"Umm...after you left, I didn't give up on you. I tried to find you, but I didn't succeed. Then when you came back to me, I wasn't gonna let you go, but then you left me... again", he explained, looking into my eyes. "My world came crashing down and I knew I had lost the only woman I had ever loved", he said, holding my hand. I couldn't help but cry. "Then after you left, I had no choice but to marry Angela. I was trying to make Megan's life easier", he said,leaning back on the couch.

"What happened?" I asked, curious.

"Well she became obsessive, jealous, she wouldn't leave me alone. she was always in my business. I mean even the guys hated her. She was such bitch. Then when Megan got older, I noticed she looked nothing like me. She had brown eyes and Brown hair, so I a maternity test done", he said, putting his head in his hands.

"Well? What were the results?" I asked, anxious to know.

"She turned out not being mine. So I got a divorce with Angela. I told her to keep the house and she won my prowler and you know what?" he said all the sudden.

"What?" I asked, curious to find out.

"She had the nerve to tell me she was fighting custodity over Megan. I'm like it's your kid. I don't want nothing to do with you too. I did feel sorry for Megan though", he said, somewhat feeling guilty. "Then a year ago, I did find you here, and I was gonna wait until the perfect time, and tonight was perfect", he said, turning and facing me on the couch.

"Yeah it was wasn't it?" I said, pulling him close to me.

"Ashley? I'm so glad I found you, and I wish I was there through the obstacles you went through. How can I make it up?" he said, wrapping his arms around me.

"You can start by kissing me", I smiled, rubbing my nose against his.

"Yes ma'am", he laughed, bringing his lips to mine. It felt so good to being able to kiss him again.

After what seemed to be for hours, we broke apart, both out of breathe.

"Ashley I love you so much and I want to be with you so much", he wined, holding on to me.

We started making out he carried me upstairs and into my bedroom.

"Hold up" he said, breaking away.

"What?" I asked, wondering why he stopped.

"If we do this, your not gonna run away from me are you?" he said, being serious.

"No" I laughed and continued to kiss him again.

That night we made endless love and he seemed to take all my pain away.

~~One year later~~

After being together again, we finally got married and guess what? Yeah I was pregnant again. I had a little girl. I named her Taylor Renee Carter.

When Taylor turned 3 I found out the I was diagnosed with cancer. After 7 months later, my time came, leaving Nick and Taylor behind.

~~Nick's POV~~

"Dad! Dad! Come on, were gonna be late?" Taylor screamed, from outside in the car.

"Honey, where's my camera?" I said, looking around the house.

"Dad, it's in the car", Taylor yelled again.

We finally got into the car and the whole way to the school, many thoughts were going through my head. This was my daughter's day. Her moment.

As I got there, I grabbed a seat and watched my daughter walk on stage to recieve her diploma. She was graduating and I know that Ashley was watching from the skys.

After the ceremony was over, I was saying good=bye to my little girl. She was leaving for a week to Cacun. I was sending her there, with her friends.

I had one thought in my mind and that was to go see Ashley.

I walked up to where her stone was and knelt down.

"Hey baby. Today was the day our baby graduated. I'm so proud of her. I think I did a good job with her. Everyday she reminds of you. She looks more like you everyday. We both miss you very much. We think of you everyday and your always in our hearts and prayers", Nick said, as he started crying.

"Baby, why you leave me? Why did you have to go? It wasn't your time, not just yet. Yeah, you accomplish your dreams, had kids, married me, the man that loves you the most. But you have unfinished business. You didn't get to see you daughter grow up. She misses you so much. She's says she loves you and wished you were here to share her moment. In her heart you were there, but its just not the same. We both love you very much and we will always will. Tell Michael I said hi for me, and even though I never got to meet him, Ilove him just as much. Honey, I'm gonna go now. I love you and I miss you deeply", I cried, wiping the tears from my eyes. I walked over to Michael's stone and knelt down.

"Hey kiddo. Take care of her for me alright? Keep her out of trouble. Your little sister graduated. She knows about you as well. She loves you and wishes she would have met you. She would enjoy having a big brother", I cried, wiping more tears from my eyes.

"I love you both very much. We will soon meet, so leave a spot for me okay? I love guys".

I kissed each tombstone and wiped the last tear that escape my eyes and walked away.

The end