Chapter 62:
Why did things like this always happen to me? I was just trying to help my best friend, and now it seems as if I've only made things worse...
Howie glared at me, the fire burning in his eyes - his cold hard stare piercing into my soul. I looked at A.J for help, but knew I would recieve none. He looked as surprised as Howie, the only difference being he didn't hold the same anger in his eyes as Howie did.
" Goddamnit Lauren! You knew the whole
time and you sat there and lied to my face! " Howie shouted with an anger so fierce that it scared me. His eyes showed betrayel deep within as the tears threatened to spill.
" Howie, I'm sorry! " I whimpered, feeling deep regret for ever promising to keep the secret.
" I can't believe you Lauren... " Howie hissed and stormed from the room, leaving me in shame.
A.J went to say something, but I put my hand up to silence him. " Don't even start, " I sighed and buried my face in my hands.
*****
Howie's heart pounded as he made his way down the hall, still gripping the small box in his hand. He felt hurt and betrayed even more, now that he knew. How could this of happened? He wanted to deny it, even though he knew the truth, he just didn't want to face it. This wasn't supposed to happen...
He slammed into his room and threw the box against the wall in rage with much force and collapsed onto the bed and sobbed with his head in his hands. He had so many mixed emotions running through him, it was making his head spin.
" Goddamnit Stazzie! Why didn't you just tell me?! " he said outloud as he shook his head. Why didn't she tell him? Why did he have to find out like this?
*****
" Lauren, why didn't you tell me? " A.J asked for what seemed like the thousandth
time. He wasn't angry with me, but confused and surprised...
" I promised Staz... " I whimpered as I looked away, watching Chase as he sat on the floor and played with one of his
toys.
" But still, it wasn't fair to Howie, and really Lauren, it wasn't fair to her. You should have told me, or you really should have told Howie, " A.J replied, sitting next to me on the bed.
" I didn't want to ruin our friendship again! I already ruined it once, I didn't want to ruin it again! " I felt horrible enough as it was, I didn't need to be hearing this.
" It wouldn't have - "
" You don't know! You weren't there Alex! " I watched as confusion clouded his eyes, but I was too far lost in thought to worry about it. " You weren't there when I needed you! You didn't care! You weren't there for me! I know what she's going through! I went through the same thing! " Images and memories, horrible ones of the past, flashed through out my mind - seeing the
test was positive, trying to make
contact with him, going through the
pregnancy without him, giving birth to his son and him not being there.
" Lauren... "
" No Alex! You weren't there! You don't know... " I sobbed.
" Lauren, I'm...I'm sorry... " A.J said, barely above a whisper as he took me into his arms. He never realized how much pain he had caused...
I sat there in his arms silently, letting the anger flow through me like a river. " You just weren't there, Alex. You don't know... " I whispered, gazing up into his gentle eyes.
" I should never have let you go, Lauren. I was a fool for ever letting you go, " A.J said as regret washed over him. I could tell he sincerely regretted it, it gave me comfort. " I'm not gonna make that mistake again... "