Summary: After years of seperation, they are reunited under odd circumstances. For one, the reunion brings closure and an uncontainable happiness that lay dormant for over ten years. For the other, it unleashes an unbearable anger and pain due to countless tainted years of mistrust and abuse. Can Samantha learn to trust, accept, and love the one man she didn't think existed, the man in her dreams...her father?
Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: Kevin
Genres: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama
Warnings: Violence
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Word count: 4605 Read: 785
Published: 05/04/04 Updated: 05/04/04
1. Chapter 1 by SweetAngelicAngel
Chapter 1 by SweetAngelicAngel
September 23, 1991
If only he had remembered to set his alarm the night before then he by God would not have been running late at the moment. But as it always seemed lately, his mind had been elsewhere. Exactly where wasn't an answer he could produce. Maybe a place away from a complaining post-natal girlfriend, or a quiet sanctuary filled with melodious sounds that weren't that of a four month old baby's screeching wails. He wasn't sure. Exhaustion had been so overpowering the night before that staying conscious deep into the evening hours proved unsuccessful. He didn't remember slipping into a restful slumber. All he remembered was arriving home early from classes at the academy, home sweet home being a simple two bedroom apartment he shared with his girlfriend and their four month old baby girl, his little pride and joy, the one bundle of pink that could in an instant make his world stop spinning. He'd sauntered down the hall and immediately collapsed atop the quilted comforter his mother had been kind enough to create for him the year before. His eyelids were extremely heavy and attempts to keep them open and eyes alert ended in failure. Despite knowing he had a load of work to complete for classes before the morning hour, he closed his eyes, promising himself a quick nap to gather the least bit of strength to drag himself through another sleepless night consisting of law enforcement essays and a whiney baby with a cold. Could he say he loved his life? Sure, and he could say it without the slightest bit of hesitation too. Which was exactly the thought combing his mind as he lay there, feeling drained and numb, lulled to sleep from a baby's faint cries.
His eyes snapped open five minutes later. He didn't know what had caused him to be so abruptly shaken from his deep sleep, but his heart was pounding in his chest as he continued to lay there for a moment. The atmosphere of the tiny apartment had changed drastically between the time he had closed his eyes and the time he opened them. For starters, it had become so deadly silent that the only things he could hear were his pounding heart and the sound of his own soft breathing. The bedroom was drenched in bright light, making his vision appear rather hazy for the first few seconds and he wanted to shout to his girlfriend to shut the light off, annoyed that she had been inconsiderate to leave it on in the first place. However his mouth froze, parted slightly when he realized that the light hurting his eyes wasn't coming from the light fixture on the ceiling, but pouring in from the open draped window to his right. And suddenly everything registered in his mind. He shot straight up on the bed, twisting to glance at the tiny nightstand clock. His eyes bugged out as the numbers glared back at him, illuminated in a red glow. Five minutes had not passed, but indeed seventeen hours and five minutes to be completely exact. He had unintentionally passed out for that long. The last time he'd ever slept remotely that long of a period of time was several years back when he had been struck with a horrendous case of the flu that had knocked him on his back for two weeks straight.
A string of obscenities flew from his mouth as he sprung off the bed, rushing into the bathroom for as quick of a shower as he could possibly manage, considering he was still dressed in his clothes from the day before. 'Why didn't Amy wake me up!? She knew I had to meet Brian for his rehearsal at two!' and it was already two o' five. His mind argued in frustration and as he quickly lathered the soap onto his aching body he realized he hadn't even heard a trace of his girlfriend. Or the baby, for that matter. Few words had been exchanged between the two of them when he got home the night before. She was busy calming the baby and fixing whatever scrounge of food they had left in the fridge and cupboards when he'd slugged through the door. He'd offered a quick kiss, explaining he wasn't hungry and was going to lay down for a while, and that was that. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Ten minutes later and he was running down the short hall towards the living-room, clad in an old pair of loose jeans and throwing a light t-shirt over his head. He didn't even bother to run the comb through his hair, only a once over towel dry. A quick search of the living-room, kitchen, and nursery, led him to realizing that his girlfriend, along with their daughter, had already left for the afternoon. Which is exactly what he should have done already. An hour ago. He was due to be at his cousin's high school five minutes ago but he had overslept and by the fact that he was already five minutes late getting there, he was not going to make it on time. He could only hope that his younger cousin would understand his reason for tardiness. After all, he was already in deep enough with the people at the academy for missing his classes that morning.
Now he found himself cramped in the driver's seat of his black Honda Accord, weaving in and out of the afternoon's traffic and praying to the one above that he wouldn't get pulled over for exceeding the speed limit, not to mention his reckless driving that sent numerous angry horns from fellow commuters blowing his way. The Accord's engine protested at his persistent pushing against the pedal with several sputters, threatening to die at any given moment. Just another reminder that he needed to get the hunk-a-junk into Joe's auto body shop downtown soon...if and when he could find the time and money.
By the time he pulled into the parking-lot of Tates Creek High school, the clock on the dash board had already rolled past 2:45. The place was already half-deserted of other vehicles so he had no trouble at all whipping into a slot near the building, killing the engine almost as soon as he'd put it in park. The roar of the engine aimlessly died and he stepped out, slamming the door shut. Not even bothering to lock the door, he set at a quick jog up the pavement to the building, ignoring the curious glances he kept receiving from various students placed around the outside courtyard. The air conditioning system hit him full-force the moment he stepped indoors and he had to pause for a moment. The climate inside was a definite change from the blazing heat of the Kentucky sun outside. As soon as he regained his composure, though, he was busily walking the length of the common area to the double cedar doors, paying no heed to the large, red letters scrawled above the doorway reading 'theater'. He knew this place all to well.
Before he had even pried the heavy doors apart, he could hear muffled voices coming from inside. Mostly composed of that year's fall musical cast. He slipped inside the large theater quietly and unnoticed and sunk into a cushioned seat in the last seat at the end of the row in the very back.
*****
“Kev!”
Snorting in response, Kevin attempted to curl further into the cushioned seat, fitfully clinging at the light slumber he was drifting in, only to find a persistent finger annoyingly poking him in the ribs. He swatted at whoever was daring to bother him, momentarily forgetting where he was, and grumbled a string of obscenities under his breath. It was an attempt that proved useless as the poking turned to jabbing and he peaked a bloodshot eye open. He was instantly met with Brian’s innocent grin, crystal blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “Didn’t Aunt Jackie ever teach you any manners?” he demanded, half-heartedly forcing the words from his dry lips.
“You mean like, ‘Brian, you must always respect your elders!’?” Brian imitated his mother‘s reprimanding in a joking manner, stepping back from his older cousin and hoisting his school duffle bag over his shoulder. “Whoops, must have skipped my mind just now, dear older cousin Kevin. My deepest apologies.”
Kevin shook his head, running numb hands through his raven locks as he blinked the exhaustion from his eyes. “I highly doubt it,” he replied and glanced around. Students were quickly filing out of the theater, giving evidence that the rehearsal had ended for the remainder of the day, but not without quick reminders that there would be another long rehearsal the following afternoon. “Rehearsal over already?”
“Just got over,” Brian nodded, grinning.
Uneasiness began to creep in. “What are you grinning like a fool about?”
“Nothing.”
“I really don’t understand you sometimes.” Kevin stood up and quickly grabbed his younger cousin in a headlock. The shaggy blonde began to squirm in discomfort, quickly protesting at the predicament. Kevin laughed. “Teach you to laugh at me, cuz…”
“Ah, man! C’mon…Kev! Let go!” Brian grunted, his nose scrunching in distaste as his duffle bag slipped off his shoulder and slammed to the floor with a loud thud. The noise echoed throughout the nearly empty theater, feeding Brian’s embarrassment. He grasped at Kevin’s arm, trying to loosen the grip. “Let me go!”
Kevin ruffled Brian’s hair before releasing him and gleaming in triumph. “Punk.”
“Butthead!” Brian smoothed his shirt and quickly looked around. Relieved that no one important or much of anyone at all had witnessed the scene between the two cousins, he declared it safe to bend over and retrieve his bag, playing it off as if nothing had happened. “Are you nuts? Ya can’t be doin’ that here! I mean, I’m not some little kid anymore, Kev! I got me a reputation to be kept up!”
Kevin bit down on his bottom lip, trying to keep his laughter at bay. “Reputation?!”
“Yeah, ya know. I got my reputation at school that I need to keep up so I can stay with the ‘crowd‘,” Brian nodded, dodging the playful shove Kevin sent his way as they headed towards the exit doorway. He pretended to slick back his hair and puff out his chest in a ‘manly’ manner as he continued to walk a few paces in front of Kevin. “Plus, I gotta keep the women in mind! What would the women think if they saw what just happened?”
“You’re sixteen, Bri. I think you hardly know what a woman is,” Kevin replied. It was hard to mask the smirk aching to show.
“Hey, my ma’s a woman and I know her!”
Kevin blinked in dumb response. The saddest thing was that Brian looked dead serious as he spoke. “I’m gonna pretend I did not just hear you say that.”
“Say huh?”
“Nothing, cuz. Nothing at all.”
Brian shrugged the comment off as he pushed one of the large cedar doors open, reveling in the fact that he would be able to escape off the school premises for the rest of the day. And luckily he wouldn’t be bombarded with too much homework that evening. Although he was wishing with all his might that it was Friday, heading into the weekend, and not Monday, because Tuesdays usually led to a hoard of homework for the remainder of the week. “Rehearsal was good, huh?” he asked knowingly.
“Yeah, just great,” Kevin answered, pausing when he realized he had answered too quickly.
“What was your favorite part?”
Kevin almost stopped short of his next step. “I…” For once he couldn’t come up with a satisfying answer. Obviously Brian had took notice of his late arrival and even more obvious was the fact that he had inadvertently fallen asleep and missed the whole of the rehearsal. “Uh…I really didn’t have a favorite part…”
“You mean you didn’t like the sleeping scene?”
Kevin rolled his eyes and offered a sheepish smile for an apology. “Sorry, guess I fell asleep, man…”
“I’ll let it slide this time,” Brian answered, shrugging it off as nothing. It hadn’t really mattered much to him anyway, considering the day’s rehearsal had run off uneventful and he, himself, was glad when it was finally over. He pulled a Kentucky Wildcats cap out of his duffle and slipped it on his head in a backwards manner as they reached the door leading back outside to the hot humid air. “Freedom, big cuz! I love the smell of it!” Brian sang, stumbling a foot as he stepped through the doorway. Kevin snickered at his cousin’s mishap and he blushed. “So what’s the plans tonight? Huh?”
“Plans?” Kevin raised an eyebrow, clearly not catching onto what the teenager was hinting at. He fished in his pants pocket for the set of car keys.
“We gonna rent some x-rated videos from the store or maybe we’ll order some off of pay-per-view,” Brian grinned, his crystal blue eyes glimmering with innocence at the idea of living with his older cousin for the next week and being parentless during that time. The idea thrilled Brian, but the look Kevin gave him quickly shot his hope of having any fun spiraling right down the drain. “I hear there’s this new hot one out starring this babe that has the biggest boo-… Ok, so I guess that’s a ‘no’ to the whole x-rated video idea? Well that’s fine, ‘cause there’s always plan B-”
“Which consists of you going to school every day, drama rehearsals afterwards, then straight home and doing homework the rest of the night,” Kevin finished lightheartedly, seeing the disappointment mask Brian’s face. He unlocked the driver’s side door and climbed inside. “Get in.”
Brian, however, didn’t budge from where he stood on the other side. His face adorned a look that read ‘You have got to be kidding me!’ in fine, boldly scripted letters. His duffle bag gripped in his hand and hung limply at his side. “But…” he started to protest pathetically.
“Just get in, Bri,” Kevin answered. He leaned over, pushing the other door open. Brian glared half-heartedly as he plopped onto the passenger seat, lifting the bag over his head and sending it flying into the back seat. Seconds later and the engine had roared to life, directing the car out of the parking-lot with a forced hum and sputter. Kevin glanced sideways to see his cousin tapping absentmindedly on his thighs, staring out the window with a mindless expression. “Aunt Jackie left you under my supervision while her and Uncle Harold are out of town with my mom. They would murder me by beating me into a bloody pulp if they found out I had subjected you to x-rated videos. Besides, Amy wouldn’t be too thrilled with the idea either. She hasn’t been the easiest to be around lately.”
“Oh yeah? Is she pms’ing much?” Brian grinned, taking every opportunity to poke fun at his cousin’s overly moody girlfriend. He ignored the look of exasperation Kevin shot his way. “Ma’s got some Midol back at the house. I hear that’s what them women have to take when it’s that time of the month. We can stop by and-”
“She’s not pms’ing, so do me a favor and try to be civil towards her. She’s post-natal and you giving her a hard time about it is not going to make things any easier while you’re staying with us,” Kevin lectured. The car groaned as it lurched forward, the engine nearly giving out. He pumped the gas pedal, urging the car not to die just yet. “Just…I don’t know. But don’t go causing any trouble with her or you will be strictly going to school and coming home, nothing else. Aunt Jackie gave me strict orders-”
“Who died and made you my father?” Brian joked, not giving his choice of words a second thought before letting them slip past his lips. But he instantly fell still, realizing his mistake when Kevin grew deathly quiet and a somber look passed over his face. “Kev, man, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean anything by that…”
“S’alright,” Kevin answered shortly and barely above a whisper, running a hand through his tasseled locks and slumping ever so slightly in the driver’s seat. “Just try to get along with Amy, ok?” he almost pleaded.
“Yes sir!” Brian saluted and propped his feet onto the dash board. Kevin didn’t protest to the action like he usually did and Brian frowned, twisting his neck to study him.
The man sitting next to him appeared not only tired physically, but tired emotionally, looking as if he had aged early beyond his years. In all honesty, Kevin had aged before his due time, no longer the cousin Brian had grown up around. Becoming a father at such an early age caused so many changes that left an ignorant young adult suddenly transformed into a grown man with one too many responsibilities stacked on his shoulders that Kevin could barely handle on his own. But amidst everyone’s surprise, fatherhood had come to Kevin almost as a second nature, allowing him to hide his hardships rather well, but leaving him changed for ever.
But the worst had yet to come when three days short of a month before, Brian’s older cousin had gone through the grief of losing one of the most important people in his life. The death of Jerald Richardson, Kevin’s father, due to cancer had been a major blow to everyone, but had affected Kevin most of all. They all knew it was going to happen, Jerald had warned them all. Kevin, however, was just as stubborn as his father had always been and refused to believe that Jerald would no longer be with them. So when Jerald finally lost his battle with cancer on August 26th, a major part of Kevin had died right along with his father and left him a mere shell of his former self. Kevin suddenly found himself a new father, but fatherless himself, struggling lost down the road of parent hood.
“You’re mumbling to yourself again,” Brian spoke carefully minutes later when new conversation had failed to spark between the two cousins.
“Sorry,” Kevin replied.
“You feeling alright?”
“Just tired. Samantha hasn’t been sleeping regularly the past week. Amy seems to think she’s coming down with a cold of some sorts,” Kevin explained, his fatherly concern immediately kicking into effect. He scratched his forehead, single-handedly swinging the vehicle towards a side road to their left. “Amy was going to take her to see the pediatrician earlier today. Sure it’s nothing, but we want to make sure.”
“Awww, the poor baby,” Brian smiled at the true amount of concern shining in Kevin’s eyes. He had never seen his cousin act so passionately about something like he did when it came to his baby girl.
“Now ya see why ya gotta be on your best behavior?” Kevin asked.
“When am I never on my best behavior?”
“Do you really want me to answer that lil’ cuz?”
Brian glared, “Ha ha, very funny Kevin. I happen to be a well-mannered southern gentleman!”
“When Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold are around.”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, you knuckle head,” Kevin chuckled. “But I’m serious-”
“No making Amy angry. The baby is sick and needs her sleep, so no being loud. Yes, mother, I think I got,” Brian grinned when Kevin finally pulled the car into a narrow parking space in front of the small apartment complex he currently resided in. Brian stared out through the windshield as they sat there for a moment, neither making any move to exit the vehicle.
“I‘ll make you a deal,” Kevin broke the silence.
“Hmmm?”
“Reach into the glove compartment there.”
Brian unlatched his seatbelt and leaned forward. “And what am I looking for?” he grumbled, pushing several stray papers and the car’s manual towards the top. The dim light didn’t illuminate much of the contents, but it did however, outline a small velvet box tucked safely in the back right corner. Brian reached for it in curiosity. “Whoa, cuz…is this what I think it is?” he asked, holding it up to the sunlight and proceeding to slowly open the lid. Kevin quickly snatched it away before he could get a peek.
Kevin’s cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson as he hid the box back in the glove compartment, retrieved a wrinkled white envelope folded in half, and slammed the lid shut. “Yeah…and y-you can’t mention it to anyone,” he stuttered uncomfortably. “Especially Amy.”
“When?”
“Soon.” Kevin pushed his way out of the vehicle. He kicked his door shut with a careless foot and fumbled with the envelope. Brian appeared at his side a second later, huffing his duffle bag over his shoulder and the two of them headed up the cement pathway together. “Like I was saying, I’ll make you a deal. I missed classes this morning at the academy, so I have a few extra essays and work I need to finish before tomorrow. But after that, I should have enough spare cash in this envelope to rent a movie and order a pizza for tonight. Deal?”
“You got yourself a deal old man,” Brian answered casually, jogging ahead of Kevin and up the short flight of stairs to the second floor. “This deal include extra cheese and pepperoni?”
“Brian?”
“What?”
“Shut up and MOVE!” Kevin rolled his eyes, playfully shoving Brian to the side and waving to one of the other apartment complex residents who had just stepped outside to light a cigarette. The key slid easily into the lock as they reached the door with a quiet click granting entry.
“Honnnnneeeeeyyyyy! I’m hooooome!” Brian called out as he stepped inside first. Kevin slapped a quick hand on the back of Brian’s head. He turned around to glare only to find Kevin sending a death glare right back at him that should have left him lying dead on the floor just from the look. Rubbing the back of his head, Brian abandoned his duffle right inside the doorway and headed towards the tiny living-room, un-phased by the lack of response he received upon his arrival.
Kevin just shook his head; Brian really could be a nutcase at times. Now all he was waiting for was either a miserable wail from Samantha having been woken up due to the yelling, or a lecture coming from his knowingly exhausted girlfriend. But he got neither. Instead, all Kevin received as he dropped his keys onto the tiny stand next to the door was silence. Complete silence, mixed in the thick, dry air of the apartment. No crying and screaming, no reprimanding…just silence. Brian even seemed to notice the unusual difference in the atmosphere. Kevin’s apartment was never this quiet.
Before the words could even leave his mouth, Brian had already made himself at home and comfortable on the couch. The TV was switched on, leaving Kevin to travel solo down the narrow hallway towards his bedroom where he figured Amy probably was, sleeping most likely due to her lack of response. He found the room empty and seemingly untouched as he had left it earlier. The bathroom door was also wide open just as he had left it and encased in darkness. Kevin turned around and left the room, immediately heading towards his daughter’s nursery. Amy had to of heard them come in with Brian’s loud mouth, but she wasn’t answering.
The door to the nursery was closed.
Kevin’s brows furled in wonder, racking his brain for possible reasons why his girlfriend could be angry with him, guessing that was the reason she still hadn’t greeted him. Reaching slowly for the door knob, Kevin carefully pushed the door open, lips parting in preparation to speak, but the moment the door was open, the air left Kevin’s lungs like a forceful punch to his gut and any words he had planned on saying escaped his mind. He found himself encased in confusion and disbelief as he found himself staring at a bare desolate room. The nursery was empty. Not just of it inhabitants, but completely empty. The far wall was dusted with the outline of where the baby’s crib had once been placed, four circular indents still barely visible in the light-colored carpeting. Kevin stumbled a foot inside the room, his legs trembling and stomach twisting into tight knots. He felt dizzy, sick to his stomach.
‘Oh God…’ his mind cried out, suddenly feeling tiny and out of place in the bare room. A cold draft nipped at his forearm as he glanced to where the changing table and storage containers were supposed to be. All were gone. The sliding closet door was open, showing a few stray hangers hooked onto the bar and missing their articles of clothing. Kevin gulped, an onrush of tears stinging at the backs of his eyes before he even had the chance to assess the situation. Somehow he didn’t need to. He already knew. The muscles in Kevin’s legs began to turn to jello until they were no longer able to support his weight and he sunk pathetically to floor.
Everything was gone.
“Hey Kev, I was think-” Brian’s footsteps padded softly down the hall until he reached the doorway to the nursery where he froze in mid step, his sentence halting before being finished. Brian’s blue eyes clouded in confusion that mirrored Kevin’s, but of which could never comprehend what Kevin was thinking or feeling. He stared at his cousin kneeling on the bare carpet, shoulders visibly shaking and his own stomach turned. “K-Kev?” he only just enabled himself stutter.
It took all Kevin had in himself to crane his neck and glance at Brian over his shoulder. Hot, salty tears brimmed his eyelids, stinging the very edges. “They’re…they’re gone…” He forced the words from his dry lips, but they came out weak. He didn’t understand. Gone? How could they be gone? It didn’t make sense. How could it make sense? His girlfriend and his baby girl…gone? Brian didn’t reply as the flood gates opened and tears slowly started to slip silently down Kevin’s cheeks.
Gone.
The word ricocheted off his brain, his temples pulsed in a pounding pain. The emptiness of the room suddenly seemed so loud and intimidating, revealing everything so clear before Kevin’s blurred vision. Amy had left with their four month old daughter, left in the sense of never planning to come back. Kevin swayed where he sat.
Gone.
And for the third major time, Kevin’s world came crashing down around him.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.