Tesia Lenore McLean walked herself to school, carrying the lunch she had managed to make for herself and keep hidden. At ten-years-old, she was pretty much raising herself, as her parents were never home – and when they were, it wasn’t good. She was the sister of A.J. McLean – the Backstreet Boy – though no one ever believed her when she told them that fact. She was considered a liar and a bully – yet, she was always only defending herself when she fought back. She of all people knew just how much words and fists could hurt – sometimes words more so than the fists. Oh, she knew all right – better than anyone could have ever imagined.

Though, she was normally a spirited child, whose imagination ran away with her quite often, today, like so many other days, she walked with her head hung low. Her spirit had been broken a few short days after her tenth birthday – the spirit that held the bit of hope that her brother would come for her and get her out of the living nightmare that she lived day in and day out. That spirit – the one her brother loved – was now gone – for good.

Despite the fact that her head was hung low, and her spirit was gone, she was still singing quietly as she trudged her way to school that day. She was singing the one thing she sang most every day.

“If I could right, the wrongs that made you cry. Would you promise not to say good-bye? ‘Cause I’m holding on, with a love so strong; and I can’t take the day without you here by my side…” She sang to herself softly. Sure, she was singing the part of the song her brother sang, but who could blame her? With her spirit and hope now gone, this was basically all she had left to cling to – that – and a picture of her and her brother that had been taken a year and a half before.

She stopped her singing upon reaching the schoolyard, and entered it silently, whilst staring at her feet – feet, which bore the rattiest looking pair of sneakers you had ever seen. Despite the fact her parents were rich, she was not – least, not without her brother at her side. She tried hard to ignore the snickers she heard, as she made her way to sit under a tree all by her lonesome.

“Look at her,” one girl hissed to her friends. “She’s been wearing that dress for three days! Does she not know how to bathe? Eew!”

She gulped back her tears, as she slid down the trunk of the tree and sat beneath it begrudgingly. She clutched her measly lunch bag close, and continued singing her song – only in her head this time around.

“Oh, if I could change; If I could change. And it won’t hurt your pride; and it won’t hurt your pride. Maybe you could help me stop these tears from my crying…”

The substitute teacher had seen Tesia come in, still wearing the same clothes as before. She was beginning to wonder if everything was all right, but didn’t dare ask. She’d been told the girl lied a lot – especially about her home life and whom she was related too. Besides, the child looked so happy as she worked hard on her latest art project. The young girl wasn’t as smart as the others, but when it came to art – she was definitely the best!

Tesia had known the teacher would be staring at her again, so she put on her brave face, and focused hard on her drawing. As per usual, it was for her brother – though, it was something he’d never receive – least, not as long as her parents and teachers were around. They’d all conspired against her, so that she’d never be able to contact her beloved brother. Teachers didn’t believe her, and her parents hated him, seeing as he wouldn’t give their father any of his money for being his sperm donor.

“I shouldn’t be here,” she thought bitterly as she drew. “I was a mistake that shouldn’t have happened! I should a been dead ‘fore I was born! Then everybody’d be happy – J. too! Nobody wants me anyway – nots even J.”

She choked back a sob carefully, as she did not want to cry while in class, and ruin her brave façade she’d worked so hard to put on. Nothing had ever hurt more, than her brother telling her she couldn’t come stay with him – he was too busy to see her right now – but maybe in a couple months she could come out and stay a while. She wished she had’ve told him everything right then and there – but she couldn’t have, as her folks were listening in on their conversation. Needless to say, they’d been rather pleased with her brother’s decision. Of course, she’d felt her world shatter and her heart break into a gazillion little pieces. And as for Kevin – he wasn’t even an option, as her folks would never let her go and stay with him – even if she claimed he wouldn’t mind. Besides, she was madly in love with him – though only her brother knew that – if anyone else were to know, she’d be in deep shit – not her fault Kevin was thirty-three and her only a mere ten.

She calms herself, and sets back to work. She was determined to mail this one to her brother – no matter what the consequences may be – he needed to have this picture!

Tesia sat upon a swing at a nearby park. It was pouring down rain and extremely windy, but she didn’t care. Not anymore she didn’t. The more it rained, the more she swung – higher and higher – right up until she felt as though she could touch those dark stormy clouds. Normally, storms scared her – but since nobody was there to protect her – she was braving it and soaring high up into the sky. She loved to swing more so now than ever before – it was her only escape from the cruel world that she lived. And to escape was exactly what she needed – desperately.

As she swung on her favourite swing, she dreamed of how life would be with her brother – had he let her go and stay with him, instead of leaving her stuck where she was. Part of her blamed him for her predicament, and another part of her didn’t. After all, her brother didn’t know – nobody knew what went on and was still going on. No one knew she had monsters coming to her room late at night, while her parents were out partying or slept sound in their bed. No one knew she was the designated punching bag. No one knew, as she hadn’t told a single soul the secrets she bore.

She kept swinging until she could swing no more. When that time had come, she let go of the chains, and flew through the air like she had always wanted to do – it was no wonder she loved to watch birds fly. She felt safe in the air, but deep down she knew it wouldn’t last long. She knew that instinct was right, when she hit the hard, cold, wet ground with a THUD! She lay there, having had landed on her feet, but fallen flat on her face anyway, and cried into the muddy dirt lying under her. She wasn’t hurt – least, not physically – yet. She was hurt that her brother had betrayed her, but stating he was busy – he’d never been too busy to see her before. She cried because of all the secrets she had kept, and the lies she had told to keep them. She wept because she knew no one would ever get her out of her Hell hole – the Hell hole she knew she’d be stuck in for life.

That night, after Tesia had finally returned home – completely soaked and covered in mud – she was met by an extremely drunk father and a pissed off mother. She was scared stiff, upon finding them up awaiting her arrival, but tried her best not to show her fear. She would not give them the satisfaction – which was something she usually did. For some reason, tonight of all nights, she felt worn and brave – very brave.

The neighbours heard the screams as usual – though, they were louder tonight than ever before – but, as usual, no one did a thing about them. They all just assumed it was another child receiving a spanking they did not want. Little had they known what was really going on.

Tesia did all she could to escape, when she realized she was in grave danger – much more danger than ever before. Yet, part of her didn’t want to leave – part of her was too damned scared to leave and never come back. The other half of her, wanted to run and never return – ever. That part of her wanted to disappear for good, and make them all sorry – her brother included.

She gave one last frightened cry, as fate took hold of her and she succumbed to what it had decided for her. What choice did she have but to give in? None. None whatsoever. So, as her ear-piercing shriek rang out through the night, only one name was heard – and that one name would haunt that one person and the neighbours forever.

“JAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Tesia was flying way up high – amongst all the airplanes and birds in the sky. She was finally fulfilling her ultimate dream – the one where she would sing and fly – and most importantly – she would be loved. She smiled happily down at her brother – the brother that would freak if he knew she was flying right above him. He cared more than anybody and was very possessive and a huge worrier when it came to her well-being. No one could ever love her more than him – not even Kevin – though he came very close.

She giggled – something she hadn’t done in ages – as she flew and sang the song she loved happily, lost in innocence.

“So I’m holding on, with a love so strong. And I can’t take the day without you by my side…”

A.J. McLean, and Kevin Richardson, stood, staring at the one thing that would haunt them both for all eternity. The other three Boys were there as well – but no one was quite as shaken as the two that had yet to speak a word since they had been told the shocking news. The two of them were still stunned – and they would be for quite a while yet. They just could not believe that fate had brought them this – this catastrophe.

The two very badly shaken Boys stared at the Angel statue before them, as their friends – their brothers – sang the one thing that expressed how they both felt at the very moment. One blaming himself for what had happened, the other just wishing he could have done something to prevent it all from coming to this.

“Girl, don’t stop; don’t stop; the sun from shining down on me. ‘Cause I can’t take another day without your smile – your pretty smile. And if you take away the loving arms that suit around me, then I might break down and cry just like a child…”

And though that song would always chill them to the bone – nothing chilled them more than the name upon the Angel statue in the shade. The name that should have never been upon it – ever. Least, not as long as they both still lived.

Tesia stood in the rain, watching her brother, from the hilltop she was upon. Her hair was blowing into her usually cheerful face, which was now somber and slightly confused. How was it she could be happily fulfilling her dreams, and her brother was left sad and alone? Why was it her brother couldn’t see her live out her dreams, when that was all that she had truly wanted? She knew he loved her more than anybody, so why had fate decided to be so damned cruel to them both yet again? Had it not already been cruel enough?

She sighed heavily, as she hurried to catch up to him as him and the other Boys left the Angel statue behind. He couldn’t leave! Not yet! She did the only thing she could think of – the only thing that had ever worked. She yelled for him.

“JAY!”

The Boys watched, confused, as they saw A.J. freeze and turn to look behind them. They didn’t understand the look that he now wore upon his face. Not even Kevin understood it – and he had been almost as close to the person they were missing, as A.J. had been. They were also slightly annoyed that he’d decided to stall, thus keeping them out in the rain even longer – though they understood, for the most part.

Tesia smiled widely when she saw her brother turn and look behind him. And she’d never felt happier than she did when he returned her lopsided grin – the one that had always been identical to his.

A.J. turned to leave again, once he was sure that he was ready and able to go. He knew he would never tell the other guys what he had seen. Though they’d probably believe him, he had sensed it to be the last secret him and the one he loved most would share for a very long time. He also knew now, that what had happened had not been his fault – he hadn’t known. And they both knew that if he had, he would’ve been there in a heartbeat to save the day.

Tesia watched her brother leave now with Kevin and the other three Boys. She wasn’t exactly sure why, but she felt better than she had before – as though a weight had somehow been lifted off her shoulds. And somehow, she knew that her brother – her beloved ‘J’ – felt the exact same way. She also knew, that she wasn’t as scared as she had been before - she had left him behind; something she’d sworn she would never do - and felt even happier to be safely fulfilling her wildest dreams – well, most of them anyway.

Disclaimer: Only own Tesia & story idea. A.J. owns himself, and the song Concrete Angel is owned by the lady country artist whom sings it. (I've forgotten her name-heh)