“I’m bored,” Nick sighed as he flopped down on his bed next to his lover, Alex. Alex looked up from the book he was reading, Tender Touches, and smiled. He was laying on his right side, propped up by his right elbow, with the novel in his hand. Nick had landed on his back. Alex mindlessly stroked Nick’s stomach. He pulled up his shirt enough to touch Nick’s smooth skin. He continued his touches.

Nick closed his eyes and clasped his hands over the bunched up hem of his shirt, just below his nipples, soaking up Alex’s love. He loved this man more than life itself. It’d been nearly impossible to get some free time, but now that they were both off tour and on a break, they could be together.

Alex’s left hand wandered up Nick’s body to stroke Nick’s right cheek. He cupped his face in his hand, waking him. Alex set the book on Nick’s headboard and bent down to kiss him gently on his left cheek. He pulled back, watching Nick smile, and his blue eyes staring into his.

“I don’t want you to be bored,” Alex said, finally replying to Nick.

“What do you got in mind?” Nick asked his love.

“A great way the end the last night of our break,” Alex replied, kissing Nick’s soft lips. Nick tried to push his tongue into Alex’s mouth, but wasn’t allowed to. He whimpered slightly when Alex pulled away. Alex finished pulling Nick’s shirt from his body and threw it on the floor. He bent down to lick Nick’s footprint tattoos on his chest, then trailed kisses down his body. Alex, with some help from Nick, pulled off the man’s sweatpants and boxers, and they soon joined the shirt on the floor. Alex settled himself between Nick’s legs and grinned. Nick was already very hard. Alex sucked on the tip, savored the taste of the precum. Inch by inch, he pulled more of Nick’s cock into his mouth each time he thrust down on him.

“Oh, God,” Nick moaned when he took sight of Alex’s head bobbing on his cock. His lover looked up, and they made eye contact. Nick’s moans became airy and more pushed. His body jerked when Alex moaned, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through his body. Nick ran his fingers through Alex’s hair, attempting to push him harder. He could feel his climax quickly building and his breathing was rapid.

Alex smiled at the sight of Nick, his head thrown back, mouth open, his chest lustfully heaving for air. He thrust faster, causing Nick to push his hips up. Alex pushed them back down and refused to let him move. The tremors in Nick’s body indicated to Alex that he was going to cum.

“OH, SHIT!! OH, GOD, ALEX!!” Nick screamed and threw his hips up as he came. He could feel Alex deep throat him and swallow all his cum. Alex pulled back to suck on the head, his left hand clutching the area at his base, and his right hand pumping him.

When Alex was sure he’d gotten it all, he crawled up to Nick and kissed his lips. Nick flipped them over and sat himself between Alex’s legs. He pulled off Alex’s shirt and threw it to the floor, and moved to pull off the rest. Nick moved between Alex’s legs and instantly deep throated his cock. Alex screamed Nick’s name. Nick sucked violently on his cock for a second, and sat back up, confusion in his lover’s eyes. Nick grinned. He pushed Alex’s legs up to his chest and pushed his own cock to Alex’s hole. His cock was already lubed from getting sucked off and the precum helped. He pushed his head into Alex’s ass, as he’d done many times before, and thrust quickly inside. They lustfully moaned each other’s names from the intense feeling. Nick began thrusting, easily finding a fast and pleasurable pace. He reached down and thrust his hand over Alex’s cock. His left hand was at the base of Alex’s back, pulling him up.

Alex’s arms were around his thighs, keeping them to his chest. His head was back on the pillow, but he was staring right at Nick. Nick was staring back at him, sweat beading on his forehead, and panting. His blue eyes were dark with lust, and Alex was sure his looked the same. He felt the familiar rush of pleasure shoot through his body that came with his climax. He heard Nick scream his name, cumming first, and then Alex screamed Nick’s name, cumming second.

Nick pulled out of his lover and laid down on his left, next to the wall. Alex leaned over and locked his fingers behind his neck, kissing him again. Nick wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist and drew him closer. Alex let Nick massage his lips with his and his tongue, and letting Nick’s tongue enter his mouth, massaging his tongue as well. Alex unlocked his fingers and wrapped his arms around Nick’s neck, making him shift closer. They stayed together, kissing, for a few minutes. They parted and Nick moved to rest his head on Alex’s chest. Alex rested his head on top of Nick’s. They were asleep in minutes.

"No,” Nick moaned, his head stuffed into the hotel pillow. He’d flown to Sweden to the recording studio to record the Boys’ next album. Their manager, Rick, continued to bang on Nick’s door.

“God damn it, Carter!! Get your ass out of bed!” Rick yelled. Nick threw the pillow over his head, hoping to get a few more minutes of sleep. It wasn’t happening.

“NICKOLAS!! I’LL GET KEVIN UP HERE!!” Nick shot up. The last person he wanted to deal with was Kevin. The last thing he wanted to deal with was an angry Kevin. Kevin had been very bitchy lately...he usually wasn’t very bitchy at all! They were already late to the studio. That wouldn’t be good.

Nick threw on dark blue jeans and a dark green t-shirt and strode to the bathroom. He ran a comb through his hair and went to his bedroom and slipped into socks and shoes. Nick opened the door and closed it behind him. He made his way 15 stories down to the banquet room.

“Hey, there you are!” Brian said and offered him a seat at his table. “Saved you a seat.” Nick just nodded and sat down with his head down. Brian looked at his friend quizzically. Nick felt Brian’s staring and looked up slightly.

“What?” Nick asked.

“What’s wrong?” Brian asked. He was met with a shrug. “Let’s play 20 Questions.” Nick shrugged again.

Brian began with, “Your love life stinks?” Nick nodded.

“At the moment, anyways,” Nick said. Brian nodded.

“No girlfriend?” Brian laughed. Nick was silent for a moment. He should tell Brian. He deserved to know. How would Brian react when Nick admitted his homosexuality? He was sure Brian would be okay with it, but he couldn’t help but be nervous.

“Can I talk to you alone after we get done recording today?” Nick asked his brother anxiously. Brian raised an eyebrow.

“Sure, bro, what’s going on?” Brian asked. Now this had him concerned.

“I need to tell you something but you can’t tell anybody else,” Nick whispered. Brian nodded, his face unmoving from the worried expression it held. He leaned forward towards Nick.

“You know I wouldn’t tell anybody. I promise,” he answered softly. Nick smiled slightly. The manager then yelled that they needed to get to the studio.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ten hours later, recording was finished without incident. That was highly unusual, which was probably due to Nick being lifeless. That was the way it had been for the past two weeks of recording.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian settled down in a chair next to Nick’s bed. He watched the younger man strip down to his boxers and climb into bed, cuddling up under the blankets and comforter. It was nearly midnight.

“What’s going on?” Brian asked Nick. Nick looked up at him. Brian pulled the chair up next to the bed so he could get a better look at him. There was a lovesick look in Nick’s blue eyes.....a look that told him that he was missing his lover. A tear that had pooled in the corner of Nick’s eye fell over his nose as he moved to sit up.

Nick wiped the tear away and looked into Brian’s eyes. They were so blue, and they reminded him of Alex’s.

“I miss Alex,” Nick whispered softly. His voice was barely audible.

“Is Alex your girlfriend?” Brian asked. Nick wanted to laugh and scream, ‘I’m gay, you idiot!’ but refrained from doing so.

“That’s what I need to talk to you about.”

“Did you guys break up?” Again, Nick felt himself trying to scream, ‘No, you idiot, I’m GAY!’ Again, he refrained from doing so.

“No,” he said, stronger, his voice cracking. “Just let me get this out.”

“Okay,” Brian answered. He saw Nick take in a deep breath.

“I’m.....”

Brian looked at his friend expectantly. Nick took in another deep breath through his nose, held it a couple seconds, and exhaled quickly though his mouth.

“Never mind.” Brian’s shoulder’s sagged. Why was Nick being so difficult?

“What’s going on?” he asked the younger man. Nick shrugged.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to tell you yet...” Nick answered. Brian nodded.

“Hey. Just come to me in your own time. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll work out,” he said.

RING.

Nick moaned at the intruding sound. It pierced through the silence like a hot blade.

RING.

Nick rolled over to face his cell phone beside the clock. The clock read 2:43 am.

RING.

He finally picked up the phone and answered it with a groggy, “hello.”

“Hey, sexy.” The deep bass voice warmed Nick’s heart. He felt a big, sleepy grin cross his face.

“Hey, Alex,” Nick whispered and sat up against the headboard of the bed.

“I know it’s probably really, really early there...but I need to tell you something,” Alex said excitedly.

“Really? What’s going on?” Alex was obviously happy about what was going on, so Nick wasn’t worried.

“I was going to tell you this on your birthday, but the album is coming out sooner than expected,” Alex explained. Nick nodded though he knew the man couldn’t see him.

“Uh huh...”

“Well...I wrote a song for you. The producer says it’s going to be on the album!” Alex said quite loudly. Nick laughed.

“You did, eh? I can’t wait to hear it,” Nick said softly into the phone. He wished Alex would keep talking just so Nick could fall asleep listening to his voice.

“I woke you up, huh?” Alex laughed.

“Just a little bit,” Nick giggled.

“Sorry, I just thought I’d let you share my excitement.” Alex laughed again, and Nick tried to force a laugh.

“Are you guys recording in Sweden?”

“No, our manager’s being cheap. We don’t have an endless supply of hard cash like you do,” Alex laughed. “But we do get to record in Hollywood!”

“I wanna go to Hollywood,” Nick whined. Alex laughed.

“You need to go back to sleep.”

“Sing to me, baby,” Nick whispered. His eyelids were already heavy. Nick slid back down into the comfort of his warm bed and rested his head on the pillow. Alex began to sing.

If I give up on you, I give up on me.
If we fight what’s true, will we ever be?
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn’t hold me back,
Shouldn’t keep me from you.

Tease me by holding out your hand,
Then leave me or take me as I am,
And live our lives, stigmatized.

-"Stigmatized" by The Calling

Alex could hear Nick’s soft breathing over the phone and knew he was asleep, and also new he’d miss his wake up call because the line was busy. But Nick was content, and that’s all Alex cared about.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“NICKOLAS! YOU’RE NOT EVEN OUT OF BED YET??” Kevin cried. Nick was jolted from his dream (starring Alex, of course) and the phone dropped to the floor.

“Kev-”

“Nick! We were supposed to be at the studio over an hour ago! We’ve been waiting on your fucking ass!” Kevin roared. He picked up some jeans and a tee shirt from Nick’s suitcase and grabbed Nick’s arm with the other. He shoved him in the bathroom.

“Get your ass dressed! You don’t even have time for a shower, so if you reek, it’s your own fault! Rick’s so nicely given you five minutes to be down on the bus or you’re banned to your hotel room for a month! No parties, no drinking, no girls, NO VIDEO GAMES! Hear?”

“Yeah...” Nick muttered. He stepped into his jeans and tossed on his tee shirt. He exited the bathroom to find Kevin in the doorway. He slipped into his sneakers and didn’t bother to tie them. Kevin “escorted” him to the lobby. He was thirty seconds early.

“Damn it, Nick!” Rick groaned. “You NEED to heed your wake-up calls! They’re there for a reason!”

“I know,” Nick muttered. He waved his hand slightly and followed Brian to the van. They sat in the backseat with Howie.

“Nick...what happened? I thought you went to bed early last night,” Brian said.

”I did...”

“He was on the damn phone,” Kevin muttered. The van pulled out of the parking lot.

“With who?”

“His girlfriend,” AJ snickered. AJ had his suspicions that Nick was gay, but he never had any concrete evidence.

“Are you serious?” Brian asked AJ.

“Brian...AJ’s lying!” Howie laughed. “You should know better than to believe AJ!” Nick cracked a smile. Good ol’ Howie was changing the subject from Nick to AJ.

“Then who were you on the phone with?” Brian asked. Maybe it would clue him in to what Nick so desperately wanted to tell him...but couldn’t.

“I...erm....”

“Sex hotline!” AJ cackled.

“Shut up!” Kevin hollered. “Whatever it was is certainly none of your business.”

“Sex hotline with Kevin at the other end!” AJ laughed manically. Kevin groaned and wiped his hand down his face.

“If you don’t shut up I’m gonna shove the cordless up your ass!” Kevin threatened.

“Gay sex hotline!” AJ continued laughing, watching Nick’s reaction out the side of his eye. Yes, sir, he got a reaction...obvious discomfort. Was Nick really gay?

“This is getting really old...” Howie sighed. Kevin glared at AJ and went back to looking out the window. AJ let out one more laugh and turned to his. Howie sighed again and glanced to Brian, silently asking him what was wrong with his cousin, who shrugged.