"I'm sorry Nick but it's over." She said softly.

Nick was in shock. What was she talking about? They were very much in love how could she say that they were over. He probably was dreaming.

Carefully so she wouldn't see, he pinched his leg. He winced. He was awake. And that meant that his girlfriend was breaking up with him.

"I should be going then." She said when he didn't answer her.

He wanted to scream at her to stay. Wanted to grab onto her and hold her.

What had he done wrong that was making her leave him.

"See you around Nick." She said soflty as she walked out.

His mind was screaming for her but his body was frozen.

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

Nick slowly walked down the sidewalk. It had been a month since she had left him and he felt so empty without her by his side. His feet dragged along the sidewalk and he didn't notice people walking by.

The faces of the people he did see were a blur. His feet went on but he had no idea where his body was going all he knew was that he had to get out of the prison called home.

Home was full of memories of his gone love.

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Nick sighed as he walked into his house after another one of his pointless dates the guys had tried to set him up on.

Through out the night he fought back the memories of her. The roses that were on the table were the color of her lips. Tears filled his eyes.

His date had looked on in shock and disgust. What kind of man just started to randomly cry.

Nick shut his eyes trying his hardest to pay attention to the person in front of him. He couldn't remember her name.

Silently he pleaded for everything to be ok but he knew that with out her, he would forever be incomplete.

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

"Come on Nick, buddie, you have to move on. Let her go it's been two months." Brian said soflty to Nick.

Nick didn't bother to answer him. What was the point? He was never going to get over her. She was his life.

He felt as if he was alone in his own world drowning in the emotions that he had been feeling ever since she had left.

It wasn't fair! He thought. I gave her everything!

Suddenly, without warning, Nick picked up a vase that she had gotten for their "home" and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. He felt slightly better watching the broken pieces fall to the floor.

The broken pieces were just like his own heart. Shattered and probably never able to repair.

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

It was another concert for the band but Nick was moving in autopilot. The words he sang and the moves that he danced were just actions he was going through.

It were as if he was a robic and some strange, cruel thing was controlling him.

He figured that the guys must be getting annoyed that he hadn't snapped out of his funk yet.

"Come on Nick, there are other girls in the world out there." Kevin had said when Nick had cried over a love letter he had found.

It was a letter that she had written for him when they first started dating. When she still loved him.

The fans. Nick thought about the fans. They must be so disapointed in him. He never gave his performances his everything anymore. He just didn't have enough energy.

When it came time for the meet and greets, Nick was the last to join the others and the first to leave.

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

Nick couldn't believe his eyes. There she was right in front of him. She hadn't seen him yet.

Slowly he made his way over to her.

"Hi." His voice was faint but he knew she heard.

She turned around.

"Hi Nick."

She watched him carefully. His face was so different than she remembered. He looked so sad, so upset.

She had read about his depression over the break up. Read that he had not yet been able to move on.

"Nicky come on, it's been a year. You have to let it go."

"Why?" He asked his voice cracking.

"Nicky, it's over." Her voice was soft but firm.

Nick chocked back a sob. He didn't want to let her go again. He had just found her.

She reached out to wipe a tear.

"I'm sorry Nick, I love you but it just isn't working."

She turned and walked away.

"No!" Nick chocked out grabbing for her.

His fingers closed around air. She had left him again. Nick fell to his knees in the middle of the park and cried. He covered his face with his hands and poured his heart out.

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Rachel slipped the key into the lock and turned it carefully trying not to make too much noise. It was close to one in the morning and she did not want to wake her fiancee Brian.

Ray, as her friends called her, knew that Brian would be upset if he knew just how late she was getting home.

Over the last few days, Brian had been acting very strange. He had never really been the jealous type, but lately, if a guy so much as even glanced at her he flew out in a rage.

She slipped into the hallway and slipped her shoes off listening to the darkness of the house. She remembered when she had walked in a few days before with a deep bruise on her neck.

One look at it had sent Brian over the edge. He began screaming about her cheating on him and getting a hicky from another man.

She had tried as hard as she could to explain that she had hit herself with the car door but he had refused to listen to a word that she had to say.

Ray shook her head focusing on the new task at hand. She had to get upstairs and to bed with out waking him which was going to be pretty hard. She took a deep breath and headed up the stairs as quietly as possible.

She bit her lip and carefully pushed the door open to the bedroom she shared with him. The second the door was open, the light came on nearly blinding her.

"Coming home a little late aren't we?" Brian asked in a cold voice.

"Brian, I'm sorry. I was at the movies with Anita." Ray said about her sister.

"You really expect me to believe that?" He asked with a short laugh.

She nodded unsure.

"Who were you with AJ or Aaron?" He asked crossing his arms.

"Brian! Give me a break I was with my sister!" She protested.

"Stop lying! You are nothing more than a lying bitch!"

"Brian! Please stop!" She begged near tears.

Brian got off the bed and walked towards her.

"I want you out." He said in an unusual calm voice.

"Excuse me?" She asked her voice cracking.

"I want you out!" He said louder this time.

"B but Brian!"

"I am so sick of you and your lying! I know you are cheating on me! I will not put up with my financee cheating on me! I want you gone and out of my life!"

Ray felt the hot tears trickle down her cheeks. Her body was shaking. How could Brian do this to her. She thought that he loved her.

"I can't believe that you don't trust me Brian! For crying out loud we are getting married and you have to trust the person you are getting married to!"

"The wedding is off" Brian said and walked out of the room.

Ray dissolved into heart wrenching sobs. Slowly she got her suit case out and began to pack her stuff.

It was so painful for her to do this but she pushed herself to do it. Brian wanted her out so she had to leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brian sighed as he sat alone in his office. He could faintly pick up the sounds of Ray packing her stuff from the room that had been theirs. He couldn't believe that it was over. He had been so sure that she was the one.

A few years ago he had been with a girl that then too he had thought he was going to marry her. It turned out however that she was cheating on him. He was glad that he hadn't proposed to her before he found out. Breaking up with her had hurt him deeply and now he was going through it again.

Over the last few days Ray had been acting very weird. He saw that it pointed to none other than another person cheating on him.

He walked out and almost ran into her. He stared at her with cold blue eyes.

"Brian, please give me a chance. I swear that I didn't do it."

"I think we would both be better off if we were alone. I don't need you here screwing up my life again. I've been through it once. I won't do it again."

She felt her heart break at his words. How could he think she was like his ex. Slowly she got her bags and walked out walking out of his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three days later Brian walked through the mall. He was trying to relax and get over his breakup. He took a seat at the food court and looked around.

He sighed seeing all of the happy couples. What was wrong with him that he couldn't be happy?

Suddenly a very familiar figure walked to a table near his. Anita, he realized. Ray's sister.

He wasn't in the mood to have to deal with her. Please just eat and go. He thought silently.

As he thought this, Anita turned looking around and saw him. Her eyes narrowed.

"Oh lookie at what the dog dragged in....trash." Her tone was icy cold.

"Go away Anita, I don't want to deal with you." He said looking at the table.

"I can't believe what you did to my sister you jerk!"

He sighed. Obviously she didn't get the hint.

"It was her fault!"

"It was not! SHE WAS WITH ME THAT NIGHT BECAUSE I GAVE HER A SMALL PARTY WITH A FEW OF OUR FRIENDS BECAUSE WE WERE CELEBRATING THAT SHE IS PREGNANT!"

Brian hadn't really been paying attention until the last part. Then his head snapped up.

"She's what?!"

Anita's eyes widdened as she realized what she had just said.

"Oh, um nothing." She quickly got up grabbing her bags. "See you around!"

"Oh no you don't." Brian said as he grabbed her arm.

"Hey! Let me go!" Anita said trying to wiggle away.

"No. Are you telling me that Ray was not cheating on me? That she really was with you the entire time?"

"Well duh!"

Brian let go of Anita and took off.

Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you
And baby I was wrong
And yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart, I didn't mean to break your heart

Brian got into his car and drove over to Rachel's house. His heart was beating faster than the speed of light.

She was pregnant! He could not believe what a huge mistake he had made. Why oh why had he ever thought that Ray would cheat on him.

She was right, she was absolutely nothing like his ex.

"Damnit Brian, You are so stupid!" He cursed himself as he passed a red light.

With in 10 minutes, he had pulled up in front of her house. He stopped the car and sat breathing hard, like he had just sprinted a marathon. His hands were shaking on the steering wheel. He stared at the house with huge frightened eyes.

He closed his eyes trying to calm down and slowly got out of the car. He carefully made his way to the door and knocked.

But baby here I am, banging on your front door
I'm grasping on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
I'm begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you.

Brian knocked again and again desperately but there was no answer. He felt like crying. He realized that no one was home but he couldn't accept it. He fell hard to his kness because he was so tired.

Desperately he kept banging the wooden door. His hands began to bleed but he didn't care. He had to talk to Ray, to apologize and get her to take him back.

"Please let me in Ray. I am so sorry. The thruth was right in front of me." He sobbed.

It was 20 minutes before he finally gave up and fell back exhausted. His knees and hands aching.

I know you aren’t there and you can make me wait, but I'm not gonna wait
It's the that least I could do, just to tell you face to face
I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell
Girl I know you're mad
I can't blame you for being mad

Brian groaned. He had been sitting on the porch for about 10 minutes just crying. He wanted to wait for Ray but was also scared. He decided that he wasn't gonna wait anymore. He slowly got up.

I do owe it to her to say how wrong I was face to face, he said to himself fighting with himself on what to do. He was about to take out his car keys when Ray's car pulled into the drive way. He felt faint.

He watched as she got out of her car. She hadn't noticed him yet. She made the walk up towards the porch, searching her purse for her keys. When she looked up, she noticed him.

Brian's heart sank seeing the cold expression on her face.

"Ray, I know you are mad but we have to talk." He said softly.

"We don't have to anything Brian, we broke up."

"I know and I'm sorry for that! I, I lost it. I miss you baby and I want you back."

"You know what Brian?" That sounds like a personal promblem to me." She brushed past him, unlocked the door, walked in, and shut it in his face.

Brian's shoulders slumped. He turned to walk to his car.

But baby here I am, banging on your front door
I'm grasping on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
I'm begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you

He couldn't continue the walk to his car. He stopped and turned around.

"Ray please let me in to talk!" He yelled as he began to bang on the door again.

There was silence from inside as she ignored him. He felt his body start to shake. He was desperate.

He banged harder and harder, he sprained his wrists hitting so hard but the pain did not stop him from trying to get her to open up for him.

The blood ran down his wrists and arms from the wood.

"Ray let me in! I LOVE YOU AND I'M SORRY! I WAS SO WRONG NOT TO BELIEVE YOU OR LISTEN!"

Inside the house, Ray stood in the living room close to the door. She felt the hot tears fall down her cheeks as she listened to him banging on the door begging her. She wanted to open the door and fall into his arms. To let everything be alright again but she knew she couldn't.

She couldn't just easily forget what Brian had said, he hadn't trusted her. There was no relationship if he couldn't trust her.

Outside Brian was nearly blinded by the tears.

If you could see these tears I’m crying
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear the heart that’s barely beating, you would see a different man…

His hands were beginning to shake he was so tired. The pain was almost unbearable but he just couldn't give up.

"Ray please baby!" He chocked out. "Please just listen to me. I'll be a different man. A whole new person."

His pounding on the door was getting weaker. His body was loosing the fight to go on.

"Baby I love you. I know you are pregnant." He said barely above a whisper.

A feeble knock....

"I'm on my hands and knees begging you to take me back."

His hand slipped from the door.

"I'm crawling back to you."

He collapsed worn out on the porch and sobbed his heart out.

"He had made the worst mistake in his life."

But baby here I am, banging on your front door
I'm grasping on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
I'm begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you

I Still

Fourteen year old Nick Carter looked at his girlfriend Contessa Myer.

"Tessa I think it would be best if we broke up. I mean you are moving away." He said.

She sighed sadly. her dads job had been moved so her whole life was being picked up and shoved off.

"I guess its for the best right?" She asked softly.

He looked away and nodded quickly. It was hurting him so bad to break up with her.

"But hey, we can still write and keep in touch right?" He asked.

"Yeah...sure Nick."

Hugging her one last time, he watched her go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*3 Years Later*

Nick sighed as he lay on his bed. It had been three long and horrible years since he and Contessa had broken up.

He wondered how her life was and what she looked like now.

Who are you now
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that

He smiled remembering all of the things that they used to do. He wondered if she still liked to play basketball.

His thoughts took another lead. What was she doing at that very moment? Beating the shorts off some guy playing hoops or was she out shopping?

Shopping, ah those were the days. He remebered one special incident.

**********************************

"Nicky wait for me!" Tessa yelled as she ran to keep up with him.

"Hurry up Tessa!" He yelled over his shoulder.

She grumbled to herself as she ran after him. He was always in a rush never able to wait for her.

Nick got to the music store where a group of guys stood waiting.

"Hey Tommy, Jeremy, Ray." Nick called out waving.

The guys looked up and waved back, then Jeremy frowned.

"What's up with the chick Nick?"

Nick blushed and shuffled his feet. How could he tell the guys that she was his best friend?

"Uh just some dumb kid that likes to follow me around." He said with a shrug.

He winced when he heard her hurt gasp. He turned to face her.

"Tessa..." He pleaded.

"I hate you Nick!"

She turned on her heel and ran. She didn't stop even when she heard him yelling at her begging her to stop. She ran until her lungs were on fire then she sat hard on a bench outside of Borders.

She looked down into her lap trying as hard as she could to keep her tears in control. She didn't look up when a familiar pair of black tennis shoed feet was beside her.

"Tessa I am really really sorry for being a big fat jerk." Nick said softly placing his hand on her shoulder.

She shrugged not looking up.

"Please Tess, I was stupid."

She sniffed and looked up.

"I'll make it up to you, I'll up go into Border with you?" He said with a grimce, he hated any store that held books.

"Really?" Tessa asked softly.

He nodded, stood offering his hand and walked with his head held high into Borders.

No way was he gonna act like a fool again, he was going to show the world his best friend was a girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nick sighed with a sad smile. He missed the good old time when they were best friends and finally, a couple. He gazed at a picture of them.

No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Nick bit his lip tearing his eyes away from the picture. If he closed his eyes, he could still imagin her right next to him, lying at his side as they watched a movie.

She used to smell like honey and lavander. On any other girl it would have been disgusting but on her, it was perfect.

His shoulders fell as he snapped out of his daydream. She had not written or called. They had not kept in touch like they had said.

Nick knew that it was his fault she was gone. He should have tried to make a long distance relationship work. Isn't that what love is all about? To work on things together. But Nick hadn't even made the effort and now was suffering in result.

Now look at me
Instead of moving on I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
Yeah I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last

I've tried to fight it
Can't deny it
You don't even know

Nick got up deciding to take a walk. He walked out the front door mad at himself for letting another day go by wasted on impossible thoughts of her. He needed to let go.

As if the weather matched his mood, rain began to fall steadily soaking him in moments.

Nick still shuffled on blinking back the cold rain that stung his eyes. He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes and continued down the street.

All of a sudden without warning his feet stopped still. He looked up to see where he was and found himself infront of her old house making him sight once again.

"Come on Nick. Man it's time to let her go!"

He was still blinking hard but it wasn't just the rain that was stinging his eyes. It was hot tears threatening to spill out.

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

I wish I could find you
Just like you found me
Then I would never let you go

"Nick is that you?" A familiar voice broke into his thoughts.

He looked up confused.

"Tessa?" He said staring through the hard rain trying to see the person.

"Hello Nick."

"TESSA!" He ran forward to wrap her in his arms and never let her go.

His heart was beating wildly as he wrapped her in close to him he closed his eyes crying of happiness to get the love of his life back.

"Tessa I love you I'm so sorry!"

Silence.

"Tessa?" Nick opened his eyes to find himself standing on the sidewalk alone in the cold rain.

She wasn't there, he had just imagined it. Wipping his tears he headed back home.

He checked the mail but still, no letter from her. Sighing he walked into his house closing the door but not giving up hope.

He loved her, he couldn't let her go.

Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you (I still feel you)
Like I'm right beside you (like I'm right beside you)
But still no (still no word) from you