"Jordan Taylor Carter!!!" My Father Bob screamed.

Oh great what did I do now?

I walked into my father's office

"yeah dad what can I get you?" I asked
"what can I get you Dad?" I asked my father
"what is this on my computer desk" he asked me
"its your coffee that you asked for"I said to him
"from when last thursday?" he asked
"no daddy...its from this morning" I said
"its fucking cold" He said

"do you want me to go and reheat it dad?" I asked him he came over to me and slapped me hard across the face.
"I don't know why Jane talked me into adopting you your a worthless waste of space."He said to me. It didn't hurt anymore because he says it so much.

"I'll make you another pot of coffee...give me ten minutes to get it ready for you" I said
"Five minutes...or else" he said with his eyes eblazed. which meant he wasn't kidding so I ran into the kitchen and started to get the coffee ready...I had his coffee ready in 4 minutes and rushed it back to him.

"here dad fresh new cup of coffee" I said
He took it and took an immediate swigg and burnt his mouth.

"damn it its fucking hot" He said
"dad its a fresh new cup of coffee what did you expect?" I asked him he got furious and put the coffee cup down and slugged me in the face.

"I am sorry daddy" I said

Chapter 2: Musical Medley

"I'll make you another pot of coffee...give me ten minutes to get it ready for you" I said
"Five minutes...or else" he said with his eyes blazed, Which meant he wasn't kidding so I ran into the kitchen and started to get the coffee ready...I had his coffee ready in 4 minutes and rushed it back to him.

"Here dad fresh new cup of coffee" I said
He took it and took an immediate swig and burnt his mouth.

"Damn it its fucking hot" He said
"dad it’s a fresh new cup of coffee what did you expect?" I asked him he got furious and put the coffee cup down and slugged me in the face.

"I am sorry daddy" I said
~*+~*+~*+

No one knows what it is like to be me. They only see the faces of Leslie, Angel, Aaron, and Nick. I don’t even think people know I exist.

I walked into my room and grabbed my notebook, and started writing.

“Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK”

I have learned not to cry, because I have learned that it is useless. When you cry it shows weakness, and I refuse to show weakness. I will continue to be a fighter. The best part of being a fighter is now being jaded. I don’t even bruise anymore. The spots just get a little red, but even that goes away within ten minutes. I guess it is because of scar tissue…I don’t know I’ll never be a doctor. The only thing that I think I am good at is singing. I can dance too but I don’t know if am really good at it. It is hard to know exactly what you are good at if you are being told “you’re a worthless waste of space.”

Some kids at school didn’t even believe me when I told them that I was a Carter. They kept asking why I would lie. They also said that they were obsessed Backstreet Boy Fans, and that I was just what was the word they used…a Phony. After that I sort of became annoyed by the guys who were always around when I was young.

My Favorite band is Hanson…I love them because they play and write their own music. I can play all of the instruments that they use in all of their songs. Howie taught me guitar, and Nicky taught me the drums. Well I had learned how to play the Piano when Nick and Aaron started singing.
I have a small keyboard in my room I turned it on and turned the volume down. Just because I didn’t want daddy dearest to know I was doing anything. My favorite song by the boys (Hanson) is “Dying to be alive” It rocks. In case you don’t know it let me play it for you.

Well I heard you crying
Somebody stole my soul.
How could I be dying?
I turned 25, days ago.

(bridge)
We're all
On the ground,
Crying out.
Somebody save me please.
I won't sit aorund just thinking about,
The troubles that tommorrow brings
Yeah

(chorus)
I'm dying to be alive, yeah.
I'm dying to be alive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

The people you've touched,
The way you've touched them
I hope they've touched you too.

'Cause in this life,
It's hard to tell.
What is false and what is true.

(Bridge)

We're all
On the ground,
Just crying out.
Somebody save me please.
I won't sit around just thinking about
The troubles that tommorrow brings

(chorus)
I'm dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

And we all come,
Tumbling down.
No matter how strong,
We all return to the ground
Another day gone,
A day closer to fate.
Soon we'll find it's
A little too late.
Too late.

Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na Na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na na

The things you see,
The way you see them.
Will never been seen again
To go through life,
Livin' on luck.
Betting ten thousand to ten.
Yeah
Mistakes I've made
In this life.
Can't even see why I win.
But the thing that's strange is
You only live once.
And never look back again.

Yeah
I'm dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

Dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Let's not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

And we all come,
Tumbling down.
No matter how strong,
We all turn to the ground.
When the day's gone,
Say "why did i wait?"
Can't just leave your
Life to fate.
Gotta turn it 'round
Before it's too late.

“Hey Squirt…want to come to rehearsal with me?” Nicky asked coming into my room.

“Yeah Sure…Let me just ask dad.” I said. I knew if I didn’t ask dad first I would be in deep shit later. I left the room and went down to the office where I assumed he would be. When I got there he had a bright look on his face.

“Yes you can go with Nicky” He said.

“How did you know what I was going to ask?” I asked him a little confused

“Does it matter you little brat all that matters is that I said yes…now go” He said

“Thank you Daddy.” I said and left and went back upstairs. Once I got up there I saw Nicky walking out of my room.

“You ready squirt?” He asked me.

“Yeah…one sec…just want to grab my jacket before we go.” I said and went to my closet and pulled out my white Nike © hoody, and on the way out of my room I turned off the keyboard.

My brother and I walked downstairs and out to the truck. Once we got to the truck we got in and drove down to the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center. It was a 25 minute drive because we were at our summer house in Clearwater.

When we arrived at the venue, we went in and went to the stage. Nicky and the guys went back stage so I went up and started playing the Piano. I didn’t even relies I had an audience…but as usual that’s when I normally get busted. So I started to sing along with the song.

"Well I heard you crying
Somebody stole my soul.
How could I be dying?
I turned 25, days ago.

(bridge)
We're all
On the ground,
Crying out.
Somebody save me please.
I won't sit aorund just thinking about,
The troubles that tommorrow brings
Yeah

(chorus)
I'm dying to be alive, yeah.
I'm dying to be alive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

The people you've touched,
The way you've touched them
I hope they've touched you too.

'Cause in this life,
It's hard to tell.
What is false and what is true.

(Bridge)

We're all
On the ground,
Just crying out.
Somebody save me please.
I won't sit around just thinking about
The troubles that tommorrow brings

(chorus)
I'm dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

And we all come,
Tumbling down.
No matter how strong,
We all return to the ground
Another day gone,
A day closer to fate.
Soon we'll find it's
A little too late.
Too late.

Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na Na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na na

The things you see,
The way you see them.
Will never been seen again
To go through life,
Livin' on luck.
Betting ten thousand to ten.
Yeah
Mistakes I've made
In this life.
Can't even see why I win.
But the thing that's strange is
You only live once.
And never look back again.

Yeah
I'm dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

Dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Let's not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

And we all come,
Tumbling down.
No matter how strong,
We all turn to the ground.
When the day's gone,
Say "why did i wait?"
Can't just leave your
Life to fate.
Gotta turn it 'round
Before it's too late."

Who would have thought that the actual singers/songwritters were in the room listening to me sing and play their song. Not me of course.

Who would have thought that the actual singers/songwritters were in the room listening to me sing and play their song. Not me of course.
~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~*+~

"Hey that was amazing" I heard coming towards me. The voice from which I have come accostum to from listening to all the time.

"Holy shit...I'm sorry...I didn't realise that i had an audience." I said getting up from the Piano.

"Hey its cool....so are you rehearsing for a tour or something...because you sound amazing" Ike said.

"yeah right...no I'm just here watching my older brother practice...they just went backstage to get into their costumes for their first number." I said.

"Who's your brother." Taylor asked.

"I am" Nick said walking out to the front of the stage dressed in his ripped muscular body suit for the first number (Larger than Life)

"Hey Carter" Ike said.

"what's up boys" He said.

"I see you've met my baby sister." Nicky said.

"yea we're old pals by now." Zac said.

"well she is the best one of em all...doesn't care for the industry...just sits back and relaxes and just does her own thing." Nicky said putting a big protective arm around me.

"I don't know...she has...." I knew what they were going to say...and I frantically shook my head to tell them not to tell my brother.

"SHe has what..." Nick asked a little confused

"Oh...we were going to say that she looks like a star in training" Ike said Understanding my S.O.S for him not to tell Nicky

"Oh...well I don't think that'll ever happen" Nick said

"Well...we just calling it as we see it." Tay said.

"Ok...well it was good seeing guys again...Jordan...Ill see ya back stage when you are done here." Nick said.

"Ok...see ya nicky boy" I said and he left.

"THank you so much for not saying anything to Nick...He just doesn't want me to be a musican...he barely likes bringing me to rehearsals." I told the boys.

"not a prob...so...Jordan...do you go by Jordan or do you go by something else" Taylor asked me.
"I go by JT. short sweet and to the point" I said
"whats the T for?" He asks
"Taylor" I said
"Yea" he said confused.
"No that's what T stands for...it stands for Taylor" i said
"Oh...just like me...only as you know i go by Taylor" he said..
"So Jordan...how old are you?" Ike asked
"16" i said.


We talked for a little bit more but then AJ and Brian Came out to get me.

"Come on squirt...we gotta play some b-ball" B-Rok said

"Love to stay and chat but twiddle de and twiddle dumb can't go on with out me" I said all dramaticly.

"it's cool. we gotta jet..it was nice meeting you JT." Ike said in his best big brother type voice.

the boys left or so it appeared any way.

"alright Jt...time to get schooled" B-Rok said
"Oh yes almighty Teacher" I said bowing. after that I we played for like 45 minutes and Brian lost 55-48

We talked for a little bit more but then AJ and Brian Came out to get me.

"Come on squirt...we gotta play some b-ball" B-Rok said

"Love to stay and chat but twiddle de and twiddle dumb can't go on with out me" I said all dramaticly.

"it's cool. we gotta jet..it was nice meeting you JT." Ike said in his best big brother type voice.

the boys left or so it appeared any way.

"alright Jt...time to get schooled" B-Rok said
"Oh yes almighty Teacher" I said bowing. after that I we played for like 45 minutes and Brian lost 55-48


“Oh look at that…some has lost their touch…gees getting beat by a 16-year-old…and a girl no less.” I said.

“Damn it JT…I’m gonna whup your ass. I am the master of…” Brian Started to say

“Disaster?” I interjected before he finished.

“Hey Stop making fun of me!” Brian started

“oh but why? Its just so much fun, and beside I think the student has just surpassed the teacher…hahah”

“Hey JT! AJ, and B-Rok! Stop screwing around and get ready…JT go to the piano and set up for um I need you tonight.

“Look at Nicky boy tryin to act all grown” AJ said getting mad that Nick is tryin to boss them around.

“Look ok…I have to have JT back home by dinner if not I will never hear the end of it.” Nick said

“ok but only for JT” we stopped playing around and went back up on stage

I went over to the piano, and started running my fingers over the keys, and waited for birkibile to start us off with the drum kit.

“1…2….1.2.3.4” Birkibile started us and I went right into the song, and the boys fell right into the pattern of the song.

Open up your heart to me
And say what's on your mind, oh yes
I know that we have been through so much pain
But I still need you in my life this time, and...
Chorus
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you tonight
I figured out what to say to you
But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do
And I know in time that you will understand
That what we have is so right this time, and...
Chorus
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
All those endless times we tried to make it last forever more
And baby I know
I need you
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you, oh
Chorus
I need you tonight - I need you, oh I need you baby
I need you right now - It's gotta be this, it's gotta be this
I know deep within my heart
No, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or it's right
All I know is baby
I really need you tonight

“ok that was good boys but come on…you can do it better than that…I am hearing too much of AJ. I love ya AJ but come on…when I hear you and Nick almost the same pitch we have a problem.” I told them and we went right back into it this time me leading off and birkibile just coming in when it was appropriate.

Open up your heart to me
And say what's on your mind, oh yes
I know that we have been through so much pain
But I still need you in my life this time, and...
Chorus
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you tonight
I figured out what to say to you
But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do
And I know in time that you will understand
That what we have is so right this time, and...
Chorus
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
All those endless times we tried to make it last forever more
And baby I know
I need you
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you, oh
Chorus
I need you tonight - I need you, oh I need you baby
I need you right now - It's gotta be this, it's gotta be this
I know deep within my heart
No, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or it's right
All I know is baby
I really need you tonight


We went over it 3x and then we did a bunch of other songs and before we realized what time it was my cell phone rang.

I walked over to it and looked at the caller id. I saw that it had 3 missed calls all coming from the same number…Daddy…

“Nick what time is it?” I asked worried

“uh…8:15…SHIT!!!!!!” Nick screamed.

I flipped open the phone and ran off the stage towards the back of the arena. I nearly broke my neck on the way there.

“LITTLE GIRL WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T YOU ANSWERED YOUR DAMNED PHONE, I BOUGHT YOU THAT DAMNED PHONE SO THAT I CAN GET AHOLD OF YOU! AND YOU ARE AN HOUR AND FOURTY FIVE MINUTES LATE. I WANTED YOU HOME FOR DINNER.” Bob yelled.

“I’m So sorry dad…Nick and the boys had me rehearsing with them.” I tried to explain myself so he would not get too upset.

“WHAT EVER JUST GET YOUR BROTHER TO DRIVE YOU HOME!” dad yelled before he hung up on me.

“Next time take your fucking midol before you call me!” I at the dead phone

I flipped open the phone and ran off the stage towards the back of the arena. I nearly broke my neck on the way there.

“LITTLE GIRL WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T YOU ANSWERED YOUR DAMNED PHONE, I BOUGHT YOU THAT DAMNED PHONE SO THAT I CAN GET AHOLD OF YOU! AND YOU ARE AN HOUR AND FOURTY FIVE MINUTES LATE. I WANTED YOU HOME FOR DINNER.” Bob yelled.

“I’m So sorry dad…Nick and the boys had me rehearsing with them.” I tried to explain myself so he would not get too upset.

“WHAT EVER JUST GET YOUR BROTHER TO DRIVE YOU HOME!” dad yelled before he hung up on me.

“Next time take your fucking midol before you call me!” I at the dead phone


I growled before turning and walking into Zac.

“Hey JT. What was all that about?” He asked confused as to why I was yelling about Midol © to a dead phone

“Uh…my father is just a pain in my ass…I’d love to stay and chat Zac but I have to go and grab Nick before I get another nasty phone call from my father.” I said turning to leave.

“Ok. Well if you ever want to chat get my number from Nick he has it we did an event a year or two ago. My number hasn’t changed.”

“Ok. Talk to you Later” I said and running up to Nick on stage all the way from the back of the auditorium. Being chased by fans when I was a little younger helped with my running abilities.

“Nicky, we got to go. Dad is pissed that we are late.” I said when I finally reached him.

“JT… I can not leave right now…we have a show to do in 2 hours and the fans are going to start arriving in 15 minutes. “ Nicky said

“Fine…I’ll just tell dad that you were to busy to get me home.” I said black mailing him…really I was just plain scared and I did not want to have to tell him to come and get me, because that would be fatal.

“I can give her a ride home.” I hear a voice coming from the front of the stage. A voice that I knew all too well. It was Taylor.

I was really hoping that Nick would say know…I mean I am a big huge Hanson fan especially of Taylor, but I knew as soon as I would get home that I would be walking into a war zone, and I did not want for him to witness it.

“Man if you could that would be great. I’ll even give you money for gas. We live like 40 minutes from here.” Nick explained and at that moment I wanted to walk up to Nick look him in the eyes and slap him up side his head but, no, I did not want the chance of it getting back to dad anytime soon.

“Yea it’s no problem. Don’t even worry about it I have a full tank of gas in the truck.” Tay said.

“Thanks man I would really appreciate it.” Nick Said.

“So…when ever you are ready little lady” Tay said. Hahah little lady. (A/n: Hahah I had to put that in there it’s just so fuckin cheesy)

“Ready” I said and was going to jump down when Tay reached his hand up to help me jump.

“See you when I get home JT, tell dad it was my fault that you were not home for dinner” Nick spoke into his microphone as Tay and I started walking toward the back of the performing arts center.

“So is your dad controlling or something?” Taylor asked…controlling that’s the understatement of the century. Controlling, well not some controlling but as abusive. That’s what I would like to have said, but me I never tell anyone what happens. Not my mother not Nick, not BJ, and definitely not the younger ones, Leslie, Angel, and Aaron do not need to know anything bad about their father.

“Kind of” I said not wanting to lead on to my misery

“wow. So how come I have never heard about you before. Most fans of BSB know every detail…but you…I have not heard of you mentioned once by my little sister.” Tay said

“No one outside of the BSB community know about me…its because I was adopted when I was born and I don’t have the “Carter Genes” flowing through me so they don’t really associate me as Nick Carter sister. It can be a pain but its better off.” I said

“Since when does being adopted have anything to do with not being a sibling of Nick’s.” Tay asked as we finally reached the truck and got in.

“Crazy parental logic” I guessed

We hoped into the truck and drove out of the lot and found our self on Kennedy Blvd. and we took it all the way out till we reach route 60 Clear water St. Pete’s.

“So…you seem to know a lot about how to plan Hanson songs, how did you learn?” he asked reminiscing about my earlier performance of “Dying to be Alive”

“Ear. I can play almost anything by ear. I have played piano since I was 4; Nick was getting into the music scene and needed someone to practice with. BJ can’t play the piano for beans. So at that point I was pretty much the only one who could”

The drive to my house went by to fast. When we got to the gate I could see my father standing outside the house…That only meant 1 thing…I was in for a major ass whipping.

The drive to my house went by to fast. When we got to the gate I could see my father standing outside the house…That only meant 1 thing…I was in for a major ass whipping.

I panicked and hopped out as soon as we were near the front of the house, with the truck still in motion.

“Hey don’t do that JT, it could be dangerous.” Tay yelled as he stopped the truck. I walked back to truck…

“Tay thank you for driving me home…but I need to go and deal with my dad…I’m sorry I promise never to jump out of the moving truck again but you better get going my dad is pissed and I don’t want you to be in the middle of the war path. “ I said

“Ok…well if you ever want to talk…my screen name is Than83@aol.com, so is my aim name” (A/N: I don’t know Taylor Hanson’s screen name…I just made it up for the hell of it. I don’t even think it is a valid screen name)

“Ok…mine is JTC84@aol.com, I got go talk to you later” and then I ran to my father and waited…my dad did the manly thing and waited so he would not be watched as he “Disciplined” me. However once Taylor left, he snatched me up by my hair and dragged me into his office. Closed and locked the door, and then threw me to the floor and started to hit and kick me.

“I told you I wanted you home before dinner Jordan” he said and kicked me in the side

“Don’t you know how to listen?” he yelled and slapped me across the face.

Jordan don’t listen to him just take it and it will be over soon just remember this too shall pass.

“Why don’t you fucking cry what are you too stupid to cry?” he asked loudly, and kicked me in the chest, I think I heard something crack and wailed and held my rib as gently as I could.

“there that’s better, now get…” slap face
“your ass…” he kicked me in the ass really hard im definitely going to have trouble sitting for a while.
“to…” slap face
“your” slap Face
“room” Slap face

“Yes daddy” I said through the pain. I got up and walked to my room making sure that no one saw that I was crying and in pain. Then I realized that everyone else was on their way to the BSB show to go and support Nick, so then I ran up to my room and locking the door and falling onto my stomach on my bed. I cried for a while…I know I said that I was jaded but hey it does hurt when you get kicked in the rib cage, as well as your physical tail bone. While I was settling down from my crying fit, I reached for my lyric Journal I had gotten one year from Brian, it was beautiful, it was all Black leather with Gold Script Font with my Initials on it and a message.
J.T.C.
“Keep on singing your song beautiful!”
-Brian
I went back to the page were I started with Bruises fade father. I had the sudden earge to finish it. I knew that part of this song would be fiction because my dad never hit my mom…never hit anyone as a matter of fact. I guess because I was not his that it didn’t matter what he did to me. Most of the song is what happened to me but I did not want for any who happened to go and snoop to find this and see what exactly was happening to me. I wrote it as If it were happening to my mother.

Once upon a time there was a girl
In her early years she had to learn
How to grow up living in a war that she called home
Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face
Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room
Hoping it would be over soon

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK

I often wonder why I carry all this guilt
When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door
The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"
Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done
To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

It's not so easy to forget
All the lines you left along her neck
When I was thrown against cold stairs
And every day I'm afraid to come home
In fear of what I might see there

Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK
I'm OK

I went over to the computer and hooked up my keyboard to it, I wanted to work on a melody for the song I had just written.

I started fumbling around with the keys and suddenly I had a melody. Afterwards I un hooked my keybord from my computer, and then I signed online and was welcomed by a message that said,

Than83: Hey JT
JTC84: hey Taylor
Than83: How did it go with your dad
JTC84: fine…better than I expected

Lie

Than83: See you worried over nothing.
JTC84: yea I guess

Only I got thee worst ass kicking in my entire life.

Than83: you guess what do you mean you guys you can tell me did your dad hit you or something?
JTC84: uh I gotta go

I said and then I signed off and went to my door and unlocked it and then turned the lights off and hoped into bed it was only 9:45 but sitting hurt so I thought that I would try laying down for a bit. Needless to say a little bit turned into 14 hours.

Previously on Why ME?

Than83: Hey JT
JTC84: hey Taylor
Than83: How did it go with your dad
JTC84: fine…better than I expected

Lie

Than83: See you worried over nothing.
JTC84: yea I guess

Only I got thee worst ass kicking in my entire life.

Than83: you guess what do you mean you guys you can tell me did your dad hit you or something?
JTC84: uh I gotta go

I said and then I signed off and went to my door and unlocked it and then turned the lights off and hoped into bed it was only 9:45 but sitting hurt so I thought that I would try laying down for a bit. Needless to say a little bit turned into 14 hours.


When I woke up I was really sore. I went over to my mirror and was shocked at my appearance. My Bruises did not fade this time. I was going to have to use make up today. I was getting curious about what the rest of me looked like so I raised my shirt and looked. I saw the ugliest bruise on the side of my rib cage. It was obvious shoe print size bruise, with some to the tred marks still imprinted on me.

I wanted so much to just run and jump back into bed, but I knew that that wasn’t possible I need to see what time it was. I went over to my computer and turned on the monitor and saw that it was…11:45!!!!!! Omg Omg Omg Omg. It was Saturday, and I have to be down stairs in 10 minutes to go with Nick to the Center again, the boys are performing at TBPAC for the next week. I ran over to my closet and grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top one that was not going to let a bruise shine through and one that was not form fitting so that it would not cling to my huge ass bruise.

I got dressed into my clothes and then I pulled up my hair into a pony tail and then I went to wash my face from all of the tear stains that were there. Dried my face a bit to hard for my liking and started to wince. I started to gently apply some make up to my face to make sure that no one would see the bruises on my face. I got this foundation one time and I will not live with out it. It’s like freaking paint basically; it covers everything, bruises, sunburn, and even to the tiniest blemish. The best part is if you do it right you can not even tell that you are wearing it. If they ever discontinue this brand or this specific product, I will die. This is the best.

I run out of my room and into my dad.

“Watch where you are going you little shit, good your up now get down stairs your brother is waiting for you.” My dad said, and I did not waste a second more I bolted and ran down the stairs

“I’m sorry Nicky, I was sleeping until 10 minutes ago. “ I said, and went to go out the door.

“Its kewl, hey you want to drive today?” He asked…evil evil man, he knows that I don’t have a permit or a license yet.

“Ah ha very funny, you know I can’t why would you ask me that?” I asked.

“Because its really funny to watch you when you fight back on it” He said and we hopped into his Durango, and drove to TBPAC when we got there We saw AJ putting a CD in the mixing board, and then the whole arena was filled with the sound of WHITESNAKE—Here I go again

dont know where Im going
But, I sure know where Ive been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An Ive made up my mind,
I aint wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again

Tho I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what Im looking for
Oh lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,
cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a drifter* I was born to walk alone
An Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time

Im just another heart in need of rescue,
Waiting on loves sweet charity
An Im gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,
cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a Drifter* I was born to walk alone
An Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time

But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go...

An Ive made up my mind,
I aint wasting no more time

An here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a Drifter I was born to walk alone
An Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time...

But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go,
Here I go again...

* in the 1987 version this word is changed to drifter.
Davids management thought that hobo could be confused with homo! :)


I ran up onto the stage and grabbed one of the guitars, and started to play along.

After the song was over I looked up and at the back of the arena was Hanson one more time.

I AM ENDING IT HERE FOR THIS CHAPTER HOPE FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER BEFORE THE END OF THE WEEK.