Hey, all. I just wanted to show off my friend's awesome artistic talent for the story. I'm trying to make this "chapter" at least one hundred words, so bare with me! =)



This was made by Anastacia, my co-author. I love her work!





This was made by ForeverRebel, who had been without her PSP for months and wanted to make one for me.




If anyone else has this kind of talent and wants to make a banner for Unloved or another one of my stories, drop me a line! I would love to add to my collection since I'm not cool enough to make them myself... hehe. I think I'm artistically challenged! And yes, I'm still trying to make this thing one hundred words long. I've done it! =)

Chapter One: Like A Razor


"Mama, I don't want to go to school. The kids don't like me there," A young Howie replied, looking up at his mother with mournful eyes under a mop of curly raven hair. Since pre-school, his peers had been relentless in teasing him and playing mean tricks. "They call me names and tell me to crawl under rocks."

"I know they were mean to you last year, Sweetheart. But I think you're just scared because it's your first day of second grade. The kids who used to make fun of you have started to grow up. I don't think they'll be mean you anymore," Paula soothed, kneeling down to kiss her son's cheek. "Now get going, or you'll miss the bus."

"But Mama--"

"Don't argue with me, Howard Dwaine. I'll see you after school."

"Yes, Mama," Howie shuffled out the door, slamming it behind him as he headed towards the bus stop. The bright Florida sun beat down on his faded blue backpack and through the back of his red Transformers t-shirt. His stomach churned as the voices of neighborhood kids filled his ears, knowing another year of torment was about to come. He finally reached the bus stop and all the kids stopped to stare at him.

"Lookit, the Ugly Troll is back! He got even uglier!" a blond haired boy sneered, pointing at Howie as the other kids laughed.

"Leave me alone, Ryan!" Howie defended himself, feeling his heart deflate as they all continued to laugh and point at him. "Just leave me alone!"

"Aw, Ugly Troll is mad! What'cha going to do? Huh?" another girl snickered, sticking her tongue out.

"Why can't you leave me alone?!"

"Because you're ugly! Ugly Troll!"

"Ugly Troll! Ugly Troll! Ugly Troll! Ugly Troll!" a chant began as they danced around him and he continued to yell, tears streaming down his burning cheeks.

"STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Aw, Ugly Troll is crying! What a cry-baby!" Ryan stopped circling Howie and pushed him hard with a wicked grin. Howie stumbled, his back slamming into the telephone poll. More tears streamed down his cheeks as he heard a rip and pain flared up his spine. He knew his favorite backpack was ruined and his mother would be furious.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Ugly Troll! Ugly Troll! Go back under your bridge!"

~*~*~*~

"Jenny, I think Dorough the Troll is going to ask you to dance."

"Ew, are you serious?! God, he's so ugly!" Jenny exclaimed over the music as Howie bashfully made his way towards her. It was their last dance of the year and he wanted to dance with his crush, Jenny, once before they all split up to go to different high schools. The term ended in less than three months.

"Where's Ryan?"

"He went to get me a soda... damnit, it figures he would come here! I'm surprised it wasn't sooner."

"I'm surprised he even showed his nasty ass face here," Dana interjected with a snicker, causing Jenny to elbow her with annoyance.

"You're not helping!"

"Sorry, sorry... Good luck, you're going to need it," Dana whispered to Jenny, taking a step back once Howie approached them.

"Hey, Jenny... I was wondering... well... if you would..."

"If you even think about asking me to dance, Troll, think again. If I get caught dancing with your ugly face, I'll be the laughing stock of the whole school!" Jenny interrupted his rambling, flipping her blonde hair with a roll of her eyes.

"B-But I thought that since it was our last dance, you could just--"

"Are you deaf along with ugly? I said no. Now leave me alone!"

"Jenny--"

"Babe, is the Troll bothering you?"

"Ryan, thank God! He's trying to make me dance with him!" Jenny ran behind her boyfriend, who immediately loomed over Howie.

"I thought I had made it clear before, Troll. Stay away from my Jenny."

"I didn't do anything wrong. I-I just wanted to have a dance--"

"She doesn't want to be around you. Now if you don't shut up and leave, I'll make you," Ryan threatened, cracking his large knuckles.

"Fuck you!" Howie burst, his body trembling with fear and anger. He was tired of being insulted and pushed around by his fellow classmates. "Fuck you, I never did anything to you!"

"Oh, but you did, Troll. You were born and decided to torture everyone with your hideous face," Ryan growled, curling his hand into a fist and hurling it directly at Howie's jaw. An ominous crack made even the girls wince as Howie pitched to the floor in utter pain. Satisfied with this outcome, Ryan fetched a couple of hard kicks to Howie's side, the cracking of bones and screams of pain overpowered by the heavy bass of dance music. A group of students circled the ensuing one-sided fight, chanting Ryan's name as he continued beating Howie.

"Leave me alone! Oh God, please stop! It hurts!" Howie moaned, a bit muffled as he held onto his side. An ear-splitting scream errupted from his throat as Ryan's boot connected with the arm protecting his side, the bone immediately breaking under the pressure. Ryan bent down and delievered more blows to Howie's tender face, fueled by encouragements from his friends and girlfriend. Everyone chanting and the pain just didn't seem to end and soon Howie dove into the dark clouds of the unconscious.

~*~*~*~

"Thank God I'll never see these people again," Howie sighed heavily, adjusting the cap atop his still unruly curls before zipping up the matching dark red gown. It was Graduation Day and Howie was convinced it didn't come a day sooner. Finally, he was about to escape all the people who made his school years a living Hell. Frowning, he leaned in and poked at the jagged scar below his left eye that Ryan had given him in ninth grade at the last dance of the year. He had stayed in the hospital for nearly two weeks because of the injuries he had sustained. His arm had been broken in four places and actually needed surgery. Pins and plates were infused into the brittle bone, leaving scars for Howie to remember for the rest of his life. If that wasn't hard enough for him, the only punishment Ryan had received was a week of detention. Many students had convinced the principal that Howie had been the one to start the fight, which earned him a ban from the class trip to DisneyWorld. "I hope they all rot for what they've done to me."

"Howie? Baby brother, can I come in?" his older sister Pollyanna knocked on his bedroom door before entering, her eyes shining with pride. "You look so handsome!"

"Yeah, right... thanks, Polly."

"I mean it. Red has always been a good color on you," Pollyanna continued, walking over to adjust Howie's cap.

"I just got it right!" he groaned, batting her hands away with a small smile. "What are you doing here, anyway? You were supposed to ride with Mama and Papa."

"I convinced them I had to give you a little pep talk, so here I am..." Pollyana trailed off, perching herself on Howie's neatly made bed. "Are you nervous?"

"Nervous? Hell no, I'm ready to be done with high school. Unless you haven't noticed, I don't have a single friend from that shithole--"

"Howie!"

"It's true and you know it. Who would want to be friends with Dorough the Ugly Troll anyway?"

"Stop that right now! You're not ugly and you never have been! Howie, you're a very handsome man and one day a girl will come along--"

"Only to laugh in my face just like all the others. Or they'll use me to make their boyfriends pissed off and then I get beaten up once again. Remember ninth grade, Polly? I sure haven't forgotten..." Howie trailed off, rubbing the scars that trailed down his arm.

"I remember. But that was the past and the kids who hurt you are cruel. They'll get what's coming to them," Pollyanna stood up and brought her younger brother into a tight embrace. They had always been the closest out of all the Dorough children and she always thought Howie knew he could confide in her about anything that was going on in his life. "You can't believe what they tell you."

"It's hard not to when you've been hearing it for over fourteen years," Howie muttered, burying his head into the crook of Pollyanna's shoulder for a moment before pulling away. "But you, John and Carol wouldn't understand. You haven't been through what I have."

"Howie, stop. Fuck all the people who hurt you. They're meaningless because in the end you'll make something of yourself while they're still stuck in that high school attitude," Pollyanna cupped his cheeks, making their matching dark brown eyes connect. "You're perfect in every way."

"No, I'm not. Don't try to boost an esteem that doesn't exist," Howie whispered, reaching to push her hands away. In reaction, she grabbed his wrists and gasped at the odd feeling. She turned them around and looked down to see deep scars running across his caramel skin. He yelped and tried to hide them, but she prevented him with wide eyes, obviously shocked at the sight.

"Howard Dwaine... what are these?"

"They're nothing. Polly, please let go--"

"Have you been hurting yourself? On purpose?"

"Polly--"

"Answer me."

"Yes..." Howie bowed his head in shame as Pollyanna continued to examine the scars, wincing as she trailed a finger over the thickest one. He had tried to end his life but only succeeded in bleeding enough to pass out.

"For how long?"

"Five years."

"Right after--"

"Ryan beat the shit out of me... yeah. Why do you think I wear those thick-banded watches and long sleeve shirts?"

"Oh, baby brother. Cutting yourself won't help anything. Why would you ever resort to this?"

"The better question would be why didn't I start sooner?" Howie replied dryly, pushing his gown sleeves down to cover the scars once again.

"Didn't you ever think of the consequences? What if there was a time you were home alone and you were cutting... and you accidently cut too deep. No one was here to help you... and you died."

"Polly--"

"Do you have any idea how devastated the whole family would be? How much pain it would cause us to lose you?"

"I'm sorry, okay? You haven't lived my life, you don't know how hard it's been. No one will ever understand the pain I went through every single day since I was four years old! Fourteen years of torture, pain and harrassment. FOURTEEN YEARS!" Howie shouted, tears now streaming down his cheeks as he let it all out. "Never once did I have a friend to help me, because I'm too fucking ugly!"

"Howard Dwaine Dorough, you are not ugly!" Pollyanna stood up and hurriedly brought her youngher brother into her arms. He accepted the embrace, sobbing into her shoulder as she rubbed his shaking back. "You're such an amazing person. You're sweeting, caring, compassionate... you have a great sense of humor. And in my opinion, a very handsome man. You're going to make your soulmate very happy when you find her."

"If she wants to be found," Howie sniffled heavily.

"The minute she sees you, she'll want to be with you forever. That's what I thought right when I saw Erik and look at us now. We're engaged."

"Do you really think I'll find her, Polly?"

"I promise that you will."

"Thank you..." Howie trailed off, looking up at his older sister with watery chocolate brown eyes. "For everything."

"You don't need to thank me. That's what family is for," Pollyanna smiled softly, kissing his forehead. "Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"You'll never cut again."

"Polly--"

"Promise me."

"I... I promise to never cut myself again."

"Good," Pollyanna hugged him once more and adjusted his cap back to the way he wanted. "Now come on, we've got a graduation to go to!"

Chapter Two: Deep Wounds


"Goddamnit! Stephanie Holly Baker! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW, YOU'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!" a voice roared up stairs, startling a young girl, who was in the process of pulling on a faded jean jumper over a pink Day-Glo t-shirt. The man bellowing was her tempermental father, who always started the morning with a cup of coffe generously flavored in either brandy or whiskey. Her mother was, as always, nowhere to be found. She made sure to leave before her husband awoke for her job at the airport cleaning planes. Slipping on her pink Barbie backpack, Stephanie took a deep breath and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"Sorry, Daddy. I had to find my jumper for school--"

"Hurry up and eat your stinking breakfast. I don't want any of your stupid excuses," her father interrupted, already reeking of alcohol as he threw a plate of poptarts onto the table. She quickly pulled out a chair and sat down, picking up the hot food.

"Yes, Daddy. I'm sorry," she apologized again, quickly eating as to escape from his clutches. Maybe she would only get away without being a sharp slap or more insults.

"Pathetic for a second grader," he mumbled, pouring more amber liquid into his coffee cup before opening the morning paper.

"I'm not pathetic," Stephanie tried to defend herself, swallowing her breakfast.

"What did you say?" he asked quietly, looking up from the paper.

"I said I'm not pathetic--" she was silenced with a quick but fierce backhand from her father. Tears pooled into her eyes as she cupped her flaming cheek.

"Don't even think about crying, you brought that on yourself. Haven't you learned not to talk back?! Stupid wench," he growled, disappearing behind the paper. "Get your ugly ass out of here, I don't want to see you."

"Daddy--"

"I'll give you something to really cry about if you don't leave right now."

"Bye, Daddy," she stood up and ran out of the house, tears streaming down her cheeks as her father's insults ran through her battered mind. Every slap, every word and every glare broke her small heart into pieces. She finally stopped at the 'treehouse' she had built with her best friend Ana Lord so they could hide out, which was a small shack in the back of an alleyway. They had known each other since they were in diapers and were going through the same kind of pains at home, which is why they built the treehouse, to escape everything. Opening the door she immediately curled into a ball in the corner, sobbing loudly. "Everyone hates me..."

"Stephie? Are you in here?" a voice called as the door opened again. Stephanie looked up to see Ana walk into the treehouse and over to her. She quickly wiped away the tears, sitting up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing..."

"He hit you, huh?"

"No--"

"Uh-huh, he did," Ana disagreed, frowning openly.

"Don't tell, Ana. I was being bad and made Daddy mad."

"Stephie--"

"Please, Ana. Best friends keep secrets, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Thank you."

"Welcome... we've got to get going or we'll miss the bus," Ana replied, helping Stephanie stand up.

"Okay. Can I come over for dinner again?"

"Momma says you can whenever you want. Remember?"

"I know..."

"Come on, let's go." the girls linked hands and left the treehouse, heading towards the bus stop for their first day of second grade.

~*~*~*~

"Don't even give me that 'I'm not hungry' bullshit. You haven't eaten in the past three days!" Ana disagreed with a frown as she and Stephanie sat down at a table in the cafeteria. The other ninth graders were quickly filling in the large room, talking obnoxiously loud and throwing food. The last day of school was creeping up on them and soon it would be time for high school.

"Ana, please. I don't want to fight," Stephanie sighed heavily, opening her water bottle. She took a long swig, killing the painful cramps in her stomach as screams for food echoed through her body were drowned. "I'm really not hungry."

"Just because your dad calls you fat doesn't mean it's true," Ana snapped back, picking at the lasagna on her styrofoam tray. She watched Stephanie go on starving stretches that lasted weeks until she finally gave in and ate some food. Then the cycle would start all over again. Stephanie was starting to look more like their health class skeleton, MT, instead of her best friend. Her skin was pale with dark circles under her weary blue-gray eyes that were partly hidden by glasses. "You were never fat!"

"You know, I never get on your case when there's a day you don't feel hungry. Can't you do the same for me?" Stephanie changed the subject, drinking more water. Sure, her father constantly poked at some fat on her sides and said she needed to lose weight. But he was right, so who was she to disagree?

"That's because I eat like normal people. There's never been a day when I'm not hungry," Ana rolled her eyes in annoyance, holding a sporkful of food in front of Stephanie's mouth. "Just have a bite, Cocci. Please?"

"CT, no way. You're going to make me puke," Stephanie shook her head, pushing away the food. Scars from her past of cutting with a razor were revealed, but Ana refused to notice them. Stephanie promised she had stopped and Ana believed her.

"I swear to God, if you don't eat I'll--"

"You'll what? Tell my mom? She doesn't give a shit about me; she never has. My dad is the one who tells me I need to lose weight, so you won't get far with him, either. You really have no room to talk because when your dad is in town, you come to my house with bruises and you refuse to eat--"

"Don't even, Cocci. This isn't the same thing."

"How isn't it the same thing? Just because you have that hardass front doesn't mean you don't hurt inside."

"I don't hurt on the inside... he doesn't do anything to me--"

"Yeah, right. Black eyes and fat lips come out of thin air now? Oh, wait, that's the door, right? Your lies can only go so far with everyone else and I can see right through them. I know your real dad hurts you."

"Cocci, don't..." Ana trailed off, biting her bottom lip as her eyes actually brimmed with tears. Talking about the insults and injuries her biological father gave her was something she hid deep in her heart. Unless it was Stephanie and she could dig them out easily. It was just easier to think it never happened and not let any man get close to her besides her step-father and little brother.

"CT... I just want you to understand that we both cope in different ways... I'm dependent on you when I'm in pain. You, on the other hand pretend that nothing is wrong and act tough all the time."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. But you need to start eating again," Ana quickly changed the subject, shaking up her milk before opening it.

"And what if I don't want to eat?"

"Then I'll tell Dr. Lipetzski!"

"What the Hell is our prinicipal going to do? Tie me down and shove food down my throat?" Stephanie groaned, chugging down more water. She wasn't stupid, she knew starving herself wasn't healthy. But it was the quickest way to lose weight and escape the ridicule of her father and other classmates. "Just let me do what I want, okay?"

"It's not okay! Cocci, you're killing yourself!"

"Then at least I'll be skinny when I die--"

"Which will hopefully be soon so we don't have to look at your fat ass anymore!" a voice sneered, interrupting the heated conversation. The girls turned to see it was none other than the most popular girl in their ninth grade class, Holly Turnquist. "Starving yourself, Baker? That's good! Just a few more weeks and you'll really resemble MT."

"Holly, don't you have some random guy to fuck during lunch today or did they all realize how diseased you are?" Ana countered, standing up from her spot. She was at least three inches taller than Holly and was on the school's football team. "Get out of here and leave Steph alone."

"Oh, and you're going to make me? I'm so scared of the dyke who plays football!" Holly mocked, flailing her hands as her cronies nearby snickered. Stephanie's thin face turned beet red as she tugged on Ana's t-shirt.

"Ana, stop. You're just stooping to her level--"

"My level is way above either of yours, so back the fuck off. You don't see anyone wishing me dead like you," Holly turned and swiftly smacked Stephanie across the cheek. "Do you, Baker? Nope, because I deserve to live!"

"You fucking bitch!" Ana growled, lunching for Holly.

"Ana, no!" Stephanie attempted to stand up and pull Ana away when a force pushed her from behind. She pitched forward, her head connecting with the edge of the table bench. Pain exploded in front of her eyes as she continued to fall onto the floor, everything going black.

"Break it up! I SAID BREAK IT UP!" A lunch supervisor shouted through a bull horn as other separated Holly and Ana. The students were still laughing and cheering as Stephanie lay under the bench, knocked unconscious. Blood from her head wound pooled around her thinning blonde locks.

"She started the whole fucking thing! She was saying that Stephanie needed to die and-- Cocci! Where's Cocci?!" Ana pulled away from the adult's grasp and ran to their table. She gasped as she found her best friend on the floor. "Who did this?! Who pushed her?!"

"I did and I'll do it again," Holly's boyfriend, Tony, smirked proudly, crossing his arms over his narrow chest. Being the most popular guy dating the most popular girl didn't always promise common sense. Another supervisor suddenly clamped a hand on his shoulder and he gulped. "I mean, I didn't do it!"

"Too late, Rosario. I heard it all," a rough voice answered, looking up at his co-workers. "Take Roasrio and Turnquist to the principal's office. I'll bring Baker and Lord to the health office."

"Why isn't she going to see Lipetzski?! She tried to punch me, Vruno!" Holly screeched, pointing viciously at Ana.

"There's a difference between starting a fight and protecting a friend," Vruno replied, nodding to the woman with the bull horn. "Bring them to the office, Mary."

"This isn't fair! BAKER, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT!" Holly fought against Mary's grasp as she and her boyfriend were dragged to recieve their punishment.

"You're going to be okay, Cocci. Just hang in there," Ana soothed, running her fingers across Stephanie's forehead as Vruno picked up her limp body and they walked out of the cafeteria.

~*~*~*~

"GRADUATION! HELL FUCKING YES, TOMORROW'S GRADUATION!" Stephanie shouted at the top of her lungs. She was standing outside on the secluded porch at Ana's house, a Long Island Ice Tea in hand. Ana and the entire football team had decided to throw a party the night before graduation which of course included alcohol. The house was thumping with bass and rock music. "GOOD-BYE TO ALL THE BITCHES AND ASSHOLES AT TARTAN HIGH SCHOOL!"

"You could wake up the dead with the way you're screaming," a voice chuckled.

"Holy shit!" Stephanie turned around to see it was one of her few aquaitences from DECA, Ryan Claughtery. "You scared me!"

"Sorry, my bad. I guess you're a little excited about Graduation tomorrow?" Ryan chuckled, walking over to help her down from the chair she had decided to stand on while she shouted.

"Excited would be an understatement," Stephanie giggled, swallowing half her drink quickly. She burped loudly and covered her mouth with another giggle. "Excuse me! I think I'm a little drunk right now."

"A little drunk would be an understatement," Ryan mocked her, causing them both to laugh. He reached out and cupped her cheek. "You know, I'm really glad that you got help for your anorexia. You're too pretty to be that skinny like you were in tenth grade."

"Ryan? What are you doing?" Stephanie whispered, her back tensing at the gentle touch. With all the smacks and punches she had recieved over her lifetime, a touch like his was something she never experienced unless it was from Ana.

"Am I making you nervous?"

"Yes... no! I mean... I don't know--"

"I really regret not stopping Tony before he pushed you that day... That was really low of him," Ryan interrupted, his fingers now trailing over her nose and jawline. He reached with his other hand and placed it on her bare shoulder. Ana had conned her into wearing a revealing red tube top and tight fitting black flares.

"Not a big deal. Just got a scar on a temple from it," Stephanie mumbled, looking down at her feet to get away from his piercing eyes.

"Hey, there's no need to be shy. It's just me, Ryan. Come on, look at me," he called softly, placing his hand under her chin. She brought her head back up and their eyes locked. "There's a girl."

"Ryan... I... you... why... how?"

"Shh... no need to talk," he leaned in and softly pressed his lips against hers. He heard her sigh and wrap her arms around his neck. Everything was going absolutely perfect and soon he would be getting what he wanted.

"Ryan... wait," Stephanie broke the kiss, panting slightly. Her heart was beating fast as excitement with a twinge of fear. Something didn't feel right to her, but she couldn't put a finger on it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I've just never had someone kiss me like that. Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"I was nervous," Ryan shrugged his shoulders, looking bashful. "I didn't want you to turn me down."

"I would never turn--"

"I had been hoping you wouldn't."

"Ryan, I just... I don't know, it makes me nervous," Stephanie stumbled to explain, wringing her hands.

"Being nervous is perfectly normal, Steph. It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Don't you trust me?" he replied, slightly aggravated by her hesitance.

"I do, but--"

"Less talk, more kissing. Come on, Baby. You know you want to," Ryan almost demanded, crushing their lips together. Stephanie was shocked at the force which was different from moments earlier but she unwillingly went with it. He grasped her hips and pulled her close to him, his lips now latched onto the soft skin of her neck. He sucked and bit hard, causing her to yelp in pain. "Be quiet, do you want someone to walk in on us?"

"No..." Stephanie whimpered as he pushed her towards the comfy bed that Ana had brought out onto the porch so the girls could tan. He immediately climbed on top of her, his hands pulling on the hem of her shirt before ripping it in two. "Ryan, don't! That's too far!"

"Shut up! You want this just as much as I do!" Ryan growled, quickly punching her in the jaw and stomach to weaken her protests. He unzipped her jeans and pulled them down as she thrashed and cried out. Frustrated, he pushed a hand against her throat and cut off her voice. "Shut up! Stupid bitch!"

"Ryan--" she croaked, clawing at his hand to release her as she heard him undo his jeans and belt buckle. "N-NO!"

"You're going to cooperate and do whatever the fuck I say, you stinking whore! Now be quiet--"

"What the HELL is going on here?! GET OFF HER!"

"This is none of your business, Lord!"

"I don't fucking think so! That's my Cocci, now get off her!"

"She wants this--'

"CT... help me..." Stephanie tried to shout, but Ryan's hand was still at her throat. She attempted to sit up and he immediately punched her again.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" Ana bellowed, launching herself onto Ryan's back. She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked as hard as she could. He fell backwards onto his backside, the patio actually thudding under his weight and Ana's strength. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"She brought it all on herself, just like Holly said she would--"

"What's the trouble out here, Lord? We could hear you all the way in the basement," James, the captain of the football team, questioned as he and a couple of other players walked out onto the deck. His eyes grew wide at the sight of Stephanie, who was sobbing and bleeding on the tanning mattress. "Holy--"

"Get this piece of shit out of here. He almost raped Cocci," Ana interrupted, launching Ryan towards her fellow teammates. He looked at the guys who were even larger and probably stronger than him and tried to run around them. But they quickly grabbed his arms, pulling them up behind his back and walking him into the house. "And call the police--"

"No! No police, CT. I'm fine," Stephanie choked out, attempting to cover herself with the torn shirt. Tears came to her eyes, mentally kicking herself for being so stupid as to think someone would really want to do anything but hurt her.

"Cocci, he tried to fucking rape you! And Turnquist was a part of it! That's called attempted rape and conspiracy," Ana made Stephanie look into her blue-green eyes and sighed heavily. "You can't let them get away with this."

"It's my choice. I don't want to call the police, okay? Please, don't push me into anything... haven't I been through enough?" Stephanie sniffled, burying her bruised face into Ana's shoulder and sobbing loudly.

"You have been through enough and I wish you would put an end to it by calling the police," Ana wrapped her arms around the older girl, kissing the top of her head as she rocked them back and forth. Her heart panged with sorrow and guilt as she listened to her best friend break down right in front of her. If only she had checked on them sooner to make sure things were going alright, it might have been prevented.

"Nothing can make my life any better... it just gets worse... please, all I want now is to be held," Stephanie whispered, clutching onto the football jersey Ana had slipped on over her tank top to protect herself from the chilling Florida air.

"Then that's just what I'll do."

Chapter Three: Can't Forget


"D? Hello? Yo, Earth to Howie! Come in, Howie! Is anyone in there?" AJ McLean waved his hand in front of Howie's face as their tour bus came to a complete stop. The older man had slipped into a zombie-like trance about an hour before reaching their destination, ignoring all conversations occurring on the bus.

"Hmm? What?" Howie started as he focused in on a tattooed hand in front of his eyes. "Aje, cut it out!"

"Well I had to make sure you were still among the living," AJ scoffed, pulling away. "What's up with you lately?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. What did you want to tell me?"

"We're in Minneapolis now. Everyone's off the bus already and I wanted to make sure you didn't stay behind like in Milwaukee."

"Oh. Thanks."

"Are you sure you're okay?" AJ raised an eyebrow, studying his fellow bandmate. He and Howie along with Brian Littrell, Kevin Richardson and Nick Carter had formed a singing group called the Backstreet Boys back in 1993 and became steadily popular with their emotional ballads and catchy dance songs. They were now touring after a two year hiatus with a new album, Black & Blue, and the fans were hungry for the five men like wolves after prey.

"I'm positive. Just a little tired from the ride, that's all," Howie lied, feigning a smile. Throughout their career, each had encountered cruel and vicious opinions about themselves, but it seemed to Howie that his were the worst.

"Oh, alright. Well come on, Kev's going to have a heart attack if we don't get inside," AJ pulled on Howie's arm and they walked off the bus. They walked into the lavish hotel and towards the large elevators.

"You go on upstairs, J. I'll be there in a minute, I want to walk around the hotel."

"Do you want me to call Lenny down here?"

"Nah, I'll be fine."

"Okay," AJ shrugged and walked onto the elevator, leaving Howie alone with his thoughts as he wandered through the nearly empty building, thankful that no one was recognizing him. The entire ride to Minnesota, he had been drowning in past memories of ridicule and pain. Of course, none of his friends caught on. They just thought happy-go-lucky Howie D. was daydreaming about love and romance, living up to his Latin Lover reputation.

"Howie! Howie, wait!" a voice called from behind and he turned around in confusion. Someone was actually demanding his attention? What he saw was a young woman about his height with long, jet black hair and sparkling hazel eyes. She was beautiful and when she smiled, it was like a ray of light. "I'm glad you stopped! I got to meet the other four boys and was hoping I would see you!"

"You are talking to me, right?" Howie asked, looking behind him as the woman laughed.

"Of course I'm talking to you! My name is Charlotte," she held out her hand.

"I'm Howie, but I think you already know that," he shook it gently with a small smile.

"Yes, I do. Could I get your autograph and a picture with you?"

"Definitely," Howie pulled a Sharpie out of his pocket and began signing the booklet Charlotte had produced. Sure enough, all the other guys had signed it. "So, you're coming to the show tonight?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world! I'm pretty happy with my seats and being able to meet all five of you made this the best day," Charlotte smiled as Howie handed her the booklet. She wrapped a slim arm around his waist and held the camera out in front of them before resting her head on his shoulder. "Say cheese!"

"Cheese!" he chorused with her, keeping his arm securely around her middle. The camera flashed and they let go. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Charlotte?"

"Well, I have two things. One... make this concert and every other one throughout the world the best. Make it so that every fan walks out of the arena thinking that it was the best night of their lives," Charlotte replied, turning quite serious which surprised Howie a little. She had been so cheerful and bubbly when she asked for him. Nevertheless, he still nodded in agreement.

"Of course I will."

"Two... can I have a hug?" she asked, switching her mood back to happy like a lightswitch.

"How can I say no to a beautiful girl like you?" Howie smiled, letting go of his insecurities for a moment. He reached over and enveloped her into a warm embrace, actually smelling her perfume when he heard the soft clinking of metal. He didn't think anything of it until something pulled on his ponytail. "OW! What the--"

"I won the bet! I won! Not only did I sucker you into all this shit, but I got your ponytail!" Charlotte cackled, holding up Howie's curly hair, still secured with a black hair tie.

"You... you... you..." was all Howie could utter, holding a hand back to where his hair once was.

"Oh, please! Like anyone gives a shit about an ugly troll like you," Charlotte rolled her eyes, spitting in his face. "Just do us all a favor and jump off a bridge!"

"You..."

"Fuck off and die!" she turned and ran out of the hotel, still laughing with victory. Howie looked around and realized no one had seen what happened, so he took the sleeve of his button-down shirt and wiped the saliva off his face. Such a thing had happened to him before, but he snapped inside and craved for a release from the pain. Turning, he quickly strode towards the elevators and pressed the correct floor. It seemed to all be in slow motion as the elevator finally stopped and he ran to his room, unlocking the door and closing it behind him. Breathing heavily, he lurched for the bathroom, where all his toiletries were already placed on the counter.

"Ugly troll... die... pain... need to stop... no more... cut... bleed... take the pain..." he muttered, searching the bags until he pulled out a loose razor. Pushing up his sleeve, he placed the sharp metal to the delicate skin of his wrist that was littered with scars. Taking a deep breath, he dug the blade into his wrist and made a deep cut. Gasping in pain, he merely watched the blood seep out of a moment, as if his problems were flowing out. Snapping out of the trance, he reached over and grabbed a towel, pressing it against the wound. Tears finally trailed down his pale cheeks and he began to sing in a shaky voice. "This is the music for one last cry... this is a prayer that tomorrow will help me leave the past behind..."

~*~*~*~

"Stephanie! Damnit, woman, you better be cleaning the bedroom when I get in there!" a man growled, slamming the door open. "STEPHANIE!"

"What?! Oh God, Michael! You're home," Stephanie jerked awake, seeing her boyfriend of two years stand in front of her with clenched fists and dark gray eyes. He stood over six feet tall with bulging muscles and a terrible temper, much like her father. "I'm so sorry, I was cleaning the whole house and I fell asleep--"

"I don't want to hear your fucking excuses. Didn't I train you good enough when we began dating? I go to work, you stay home to cook and clean. Is that too much to ask for?"

"Michael, please--"

"Don't you talk back to me," he raised a large hand and punched her square in the jaw, but not hard enough to break the delicate bone. "I should have known you would slip up sooner or later. Can't do anything right, can you? Stupid bitch! Get up, it's time for your punishment."

"No--"

"Get up, if you know what's good for you. I'm not fucking around!" Michael reached down and yanked her up, almost popping her shoulder out of joint. He began dragging her to the closet, where he kept the belt.

"Please, don't! I'll do anything, please!" Stephanie begged, trying to get out of his tightening grasp. She failed to do so as he threw her into the corner of the walk-in closet, belt ready in his right hand. "MICHAEL, DON'T!"

"You brought this on yourself," he raised a hand high above his head before swinging it down onto her back, which was unprotected from her tanktop. The metal clasp and leather bit into her soft skin, creating a large welt and oozing blood. He did this over and over, gathering more energy from her screams of pain. She huddled into a ball on the floor, but he didn't stop the punishment.

"STOP! PLEASE, STOP! MICHAEL, I'M BEGGING YOU!" she shrieked, the pain almost blinding as he continued to beat her.

"You. Need. To. Learn. A. LESSON!" he accented each word with a whack of the belt.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she reached out and kicked him in the knee.

"Shit!" he cursed, falling to one knee as the other gave out. Glaring at his girlfriend in disbelief, he reached over and pulled her towards him, relying on his fists to make her learn who was the master. He pounded on the tender tissue, keeping her body pinned on the ground. "Stupid bitch! You just made it worse!"

"NO, STOP--" she was interrupted by the phone.

"You're so lucky I have to answer that," he seethed, getting to his feet and walking into the bedroom. After a quick conversation, he peeked back into the closet. "I have to go and do some business. Clean yourself up and make this place spotless before I come back. You hear me?"

"Yes, Michael. I hear you," she whispered, slowly sitting up on the floor.

"Pathetic, useless bitch," he sneered, leaving the room and heading out to the car.

"Oh God..." she let herself break into heavy sobs, every inch of her body aching with a raw pain as she drew her knees up to her chin. How she let herself get into such an absuive relationship, she'll never know. Ana tried to get her to leave so many times, but each was a failure. "If You're trying to punish me for making bad mistakes... You're doing a damn good job..."

Stupid bitch! Can't you do ANYTHING right?

My, my, it seems that my little daughter is getting a little pudgy.

Why don't you just kill yourself so everyone can be happy, Baker?!

It isn't attempted rape if she wanted it!

"I'm going to be sick," she moaned as memories flooded into her beaten brain and she scrambled her way painfully into the bathroom where she vomited into the toilet. Once she emptied everything and then some, she slumped against the cold tile as more tears fell. "I can't take this anymore... I need something to make all this... make this..."

Cocci, promise me you won't do this again.

CT--

PROMISE ME.

Okay, okay... I promise I'll never cut myself again.

"I'm sorry CT. I need it," she whispered, opening the cabinets under the sink until she found a single item that 'helped' her through so much as she grew up. A sharp, glittering razor from Michael's shaving kit. Looking down, she saw that her arms were littlered with scars, so she placed the blade on her thigh and sliced a clean but deep line. More tears poured from her eyes as she did it three more times, the blood pooling around her leg on the white floor. Pulling out large wads of toilet paper, she pressed them against the cuts and gasped loudly from the stinging sensation, which was worse than the actual cutting action. She never heard the front door open and close, nor the footsteps heading upstairs until she heard a familiar voice.

"Holy shit... oh, Cocci..."

"CT? I'm so sorry, I just had to..." Stephanie trailed off helplessly as she looked up at her best friend of fifteen years as she still held the toilet paper against her cuts. "Michael hurt me and I couldn't take--"

"You should have called me," Ana frowned, kneeling down to Stephanie's level to check the damage. She had gone to college to become a nurse while Stephanie got a degree in journalism and worked for a large newspaper before Michael made her quit.

"I didn't want to bother you."

"You know you would never bother me, Cocci. Never!" Ana ran a hand through her best friend's long and sweaty locks. "Let me take care of you. Come over to my house."

"I can't. If I'm not home when he gets back--"

"How long are you going to let him hurt you?"

"Ana--"

"Please, I don't want to get a call in the middle of the night saying he finally killed you or be working at the hospital and see you get wheeled in on a stretcher. Get away from him, he doesn't love you."

"What if he comes to get me?"

"We'll call the police."

"...Okay..."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Alright, we've got to stop these cuts from bleeding," Ana lifted the toilet paper to check the damage. No stitches would be needed. "Do you need anything from here?"

"No... it's all Michael's. He made me keep my things in storage."

"Then we'll get those tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay..." both women were quiet for a moment. "CT?"

"Yeah, Cocci?"

"Thank you."

Chapter Four: Moving Forward

"C’mon D, it’s time for rehearsal,” Kevin replied as he poked his head into the Latino’s hotel room, offering a smile. They were in their hometown for the night, performing for a sold-out arena that would be packed with fans in a matter of hours.

“Alright,” Howie turned from the mirror after adjusting a few of his curls so they nestled his caramel forehead. Since the ‘fan’ had chopped his ponytail off, he had decided to keep the locks short so that sort of thing wouldn’t happen again. It surprised him when fans praised him for the change, saying he looked better than ever. If they only knew the truth that laid on his wrists and ankles. Ugly scars of pain, suffering and depression. “Is everyone else ready?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

“Good point,” Howie chuckled softly as they walked out of his room to badger their band mates. It seemed like such a chore, getting after them like children just to get ready for rehearsal, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. At least he could trust them, unlike the rest of the world.

“NICK! BRIAN! AJ! Get’cher asses in gear!” Kevin ordered, knocking on all their doors.

“Damn, we’re ready. We were just waiting for you, old man,” AJ teased as he walked out of his room. Nick and Brian immediately followed, trying not to snicker as Kevin narrowed his eyes at the tattooed one.

“I am not old--”

“We go through this almost every day. Can we be on time for rehearsal just this once?” Howie interrupted, smirking as the guys turned to glare at him.

“Howie’s right. Let’s go,” Brian agreed for once as he walked to the lavish elevator with the guys right behind him, Kevin still reeming AJ for the old man comment. They came out to the empty lobby and easily got into the van without a hitch. The weather looked slightly menacing, the gray clouds gathering quickly and thunder booming in the distance.

“Will you just lay off, Kev? It was a joke! Jeez,” AJ finally burst, crossing his inked arms over his skinny chest as he shot Kevin a dark glare.

“I’m getting tired of the same damn joke--”

“Just tell each other you’re sorry. This argument is going nowhere,” Howie replied, turning in his seat to glance at the two men. “So Kevin’s the oldest. Big deal. He’s always going to be the oldest. And AJ is always going to give you shit about something.”

“I think Howie likes being peacemaker a little too much,” Nick snickered but immediately cowered as Brian smacked him upside the head. “OUCH!”

“You’re just asking for trouble.”

“I’m just saying!”

“You all drive me crazy,” Howie complained as he covered his face, listening to Kevin and AJ apologize while the two blonds bickered like a married couple. About halfway to the arena the gray clouds darkened drastically and opened up, pouring heavy rain. It drummed loudly on the roof of the van and startled everyone into silence. That is, until Nick broke it with his own style.

“I hope this rain keeps up. Fans that are stuck outside with white t-shirts… we could hold a contest!”

“Are boobs all you think about?” AJ rolled his eyes.

“No--”

“You’ve got to think about the ass and legs, too. There’s always more to a woman than just boobs.”

“You two are unbelievable,” Kevin groaned in slight disgust, reaching over to smack both men upside the head.

“Like you didn’t think of that!”

“You’re right, I didn’t!”

“Bullshit.”

“Stop swearing!”

“Why the Hell--”

“NICK!”

“What the fuck--”

“AJ!”

“It’s going to be an interesting night,” Brian joked to Howie, who merely nodded with a chuckle.

~*~*~*~*~

Stephanie unlocked the apartment door and shut it behind her with a sigh. She kicked off her shoes and walked towards the living room, stopping at the answering machine like she did everyday after work. “Ooh! I’m loved! Well, it could be for Ana…” she talked out loud to herself before pressing the play button.

“You have one new message. First message.”

“Cocci, it’s me! Are you sitting down? You better sit down, because I have some news for you.”

“Typical CT--”

“Stop making fun of me or I won’t tell you what we’re doing tonight. Are you sitting down? Good! You know that new outfit you just bought? The camisole with sequins and shit with those faded jeans? Break them out, because we’re seeing the Backstreet Boys tonight!”

“What?! You’re shitting me!”

“No, I’m not shitting you! Now go get ready, I’ll be home at five. Love you, Cocci!”

“Love you, too!” Stephanie glanced at the clock and cursed. It was already four-thirty. She deleted the message and ran upstairs, taking a quick shower while singing Backstreet Boy songs. With her long locks wrapped up in a towel with one around her slim body, Stephanie pulled the outfit Ana requested off the racks and laid them on the bed. It had been a long time since she was able to wear such revealing clothes. Her ex-boyfriend Michael had prohibited them from the very beginning of the dark and painful relationship. Now she was free and it was hard to convince herself that it was okay again.

She sighed heavily and looked down at her arms and right thigh, which were littered with scars from her history of cutting and abuse. The Florida sun had made them less harsh as it caramelized her skin, but they were still there. A reminder of the horrors and fear that no one should have gone through.

“It’s all in the past… I’ve got to get through the past in order to live in the present and look to the future,” she mumbled Ana’s saying to herself as she closed her eyes for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she opened them and began to change.

“Damn, Cocci! You look hot already! I wouldn’t be surprised if Howie saw you and wanted to whisk you away on some romantic fantasy weekend filled with presents, sex and great food,” a boastful voice interrupted Stephanie’s thoughts. She turned to see Ana leaning in the doorway with a grin on her face.

“Like Howie Dorough would notice someone like me. Have you not seen his supermodel girlfriends?”

“And have you not heard he broke up with every single one of them? C’mon, Cocci, give yourself some credit. You’re beautiful!”

“You’re my best friend. You have to say that,” Stephanie sighed as she sat down at her vanity to begin her hair and make-up. She hated how hard it was to accept a simple compliment, especially from Ana. But the past had been so cold and cruel; she didn’t know what to believe.

“I’m telling you the truth--”

“You need to get ready so we can leave for the venue early. It may get us some backstage passes,” Stephanie interrupted as she carefully applied some black eyeliner and silvery eye shadow.

“You act too much like Momma sometimes,” Ana huffed, a little playful as she walked to her room and changed as well. Stephanie helped her with the hair and make-up part, since the younger woman was at a loss with those kind of feminine traits and they left the apartment. Ana sped down the freeway as they blasted Backstreet Boy songs and sang at the top of their lungs.

~*~*~*~*~

“Alright, it’s time to go out to the busses and do some autographs! C’mon, fellas!”

“But I’m on the last level! I could beat this game!” Nick whined as his eyes stayed glued to the large television, quickly tapping the buttons as he moved his body along with his video game character.

“Are you trying to tell me that a video game is more important than the fans?”

“Well… no, but--”

“Time to go,” Kevin bent down and unplugged the Playstation system, causing Nick to shriek in protest. “I’m not kidding! Let’s go.”

“You’re pathetic,” AJ groaned towards Nick as he stood and stretched his lithe body before walking out with his bodyguard in tow.

“I am not!” Nick scrambled up after him with his own bodyguard.

“He is something else,” Brian shook his head with a wry grin as he, Howie and Kevin followed the other two in a more calmly fashion. It was always interesting when it came to meeting the fans. Some more so than others… nine times out of ten, one encounter would end up being a group story.

“Both of them are,” Howie added as they reached outside and were greeted with shrieks and screams. The crowd of fans seemed to swarm tightly towards the lavish tour busses just for a glimpse of the five men they adored. They had all seen this kind of reaction for years, but each time was still a shock as they waved and began signing random posters, tickets and sheets of paper. Demands for pictures and marriage echoed in Howie’s ears as he went through the routine. It was something he could never get tired of, though.

“Ugh, it’s Howie! Who let him out of his cave?” a disgusted voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked over to see a woman in her mid-twenties watching him with a look on her face he was all too familiar with. He frowned and went back to his business in hopes that she would float onto one of the other guys instead.

“I know you heard me, Troll! Why don’t you go back inside so the rest of us don’t get sick?”

“How about you shut your mouth before I shut it for you?” Howie heard someone come to his defense and he glanced up in surprise to see another woman get in her face.

“And how will you do that? Sit on me with that fat ass of yours?”

“Honey, at least I have an ass. If you really want to see a troll… I suggest you take a good look in the mirror. Howie is a beautiful man and you’re just pissed that you’ll never get someone like him.”

“Fuck you, bitch!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t do someone who’s gotten more ass than a toilet seat. But thanks for the offer--” Howie’s eyes grew wide when the heckler punched the other woman in the jaw, causing blood to spill from her lip.

“Marcus! Help the blonde woman,” Howie whispered urgently to his bodyguard, who nodded and began to swim through the crowd.

“Alright, break it up!” Marcus easily pulled the two women apart and kept the blonde close to him as he pointed to the other one. “You. Get in the back of the line.”

“That’s bullshit! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Either you can do it on your own or the police will. It’s your choice.”

“Fucking ridiculous!” she raved, doing as Marcus told her.

“Are you okay?”

“Just peachy,” the blonde attempted to stop the blood flowing onto her camisole. Marcus pulled out a bandana and handed it to her. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Listen, Howie saw what you did for him and he wants to meet you. Would that be alright?”

“I just told her to shut up…”

“It still meant a lot to him.”

“Well… okay. Let’s go,” she pressed the cloth tightly against her cut as Marcus pushed through the crowd one more time. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she realized how close she was to Howie. It was something she had always dreamed of. “H-Hi.”

“Hey. I just wanted to thank you for that back there… you didn’t have to fight her, but you stood up for me with your words. I really appreciate it,” Howie smiled softly, already feeling enchanted by the woman standing in front of him. Her pale blonde hair fell against her shoulders and down to the middle of her back with the hairs underneath dyed a dark brown. Her stormy blue eyes twinkled along with her nose and eyebrow ring as a pair of tortoise shell glasses rested on the bridge of her button nose.

“Just standing up for what I believe in,” she stuck her hand out with the best smile she could offer with her split lip. “I’m Stephanie.”

“I’m Howie,” he took her hand and they shook.

“I know.”

“So… did you mean what you said to her? About me?”

“Every word.”

“Really?”

“Of course! I’m sure you’ve heard lots of ladies say good things about you,” Stephanie felt the words fall out of her mouth like water. It didn’t feel like she was talking to a Backstreet Boy. It felt she was talking to an old friend. It was scaring her a little…

“I guess so--”

“I’ll bet you have. Would you mind if I asked for a picture?”

“How could I say no to my protector?” Howie chuckled as he brought an arm around her shoulders and Marcus easily focused the perfect picture.

“I charge celebrities extra,” Stephanie teased as she rested her head on his chest, smiling towards the camera.

“I would pay anything,” he promised as the flash captured the perfect moment.

"Oh my God! CT! I got to meet him! I finally got to meet him!" Stephanie jumped up and down with excitement, her hands full with her camera and autographs from all of the Backstreet Boys. But the one she would treasure most would be from Howie, who had written a personal message for her that made happiness exude from every pore in her body.

"Feeling like a teenybopper much, Cocci?" Ana teased as she leaned against the wall of the arena, sipping on a twenty-ounce bottle of Pepsi she had brought along. She had seen the crowd of women, girls and gay men, deciding that her life was more important than trying to squeeze through all the people and risk death.

"Oh, bite me," Stephanie rolled her eyes and continued to grin as she showed her best friend her new treasures. She may have been acting like a 'teenybopper' but she felt she deserved to act like one. All the years she had been a fan of the Backstreet Boys, and now she finally got to meet them. If God had suddenly decided it was her time to go, she would have gone without a fight. Her one true wish had come true. "I wish you would have been there with me, though. AJ was there and--"

"What the Hell happened to your lip?" Ana interrupted, her ocean blue eyes widening with concern as she reached out and cupped Stephanie's cheek to examine the cut.

"There was a bitch out there dissing Howie, so... I told her off and she punched me," Stephanie shrugged, trying to brush it off like it was nothing. Her father and ex-boyfriends had hit her far worse, though she did wish the woman had struck her in the abdomen or chest. At least then it wouldn't be so damn hard to smile like it was now.

"You're lucky you don't need stitches," Ana clicked her tongue in disappointment, dabbing the cut with an alcohol pad that she had pulled out of her pocket-sized First Aid kit. Working at the local hospital had taught her to always be prepared, so she carried around the tiny kit wherever she went.

"Ouch!" Stephanie yelped as the alcohol burned and stung sharply. "She didn't even cause any swelling. Father and the others have done more damage than that little bitch did."

"Cocci..."

"I'm fine, CT. Really," she pulled away gently from her grasp and offered a crooked smile. "Thank you for cleaning me up, though."

"Sometimes I don’t know about you," Ana tried to shake her head in disappointment, but couldn't help but smile as she kissed her best friend's cheek. "Are you ready to go inside? We've got to claim our seats before all the other teenyboppers try to sneak in closer."

"Yeah, let's go. I've got to get my tour shirt and poster, too," Stephanie nodded as they walked into the arena and as soon as they got everything sorted out and bought; they headed into the seating on the main floor.

"Wait!" Ana took out her bandana and carefully placed it over Stephanie's glasses.

"Hey! I can't see!"

"That's the point, Blondie."

"You know, I could just take off the blindfold--"

"You do that and I'll make sure Howie knows about your triple-X dreams," Ana threatened sweetly as they walked down the aisle, getting closer to their seats.

"That was low," Stephanie pouted.

"Maybe, but you'll love me when I take show you the surprise."

"I already love--"

"Here we are!" Ana quickly took off the blindfold and grinned as Stephanie gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth. She didn't even wince from the sting of her cut as she stared at their seats. Front row. All the years she had been a Backstreet Boy fan, she had never had the luck of being so close in a concert.

"First row. HOLY SHIT, WE'RE IN FIRST ROW! CT, I LOVE YOU!" Stephanie shrieked with happiness, enveloping Ana in a tight embrace.

"Yeah, I know you do," Ana smiled, ignoring the people giving them a weary glance. "Now will you stop screaming and sit down before they kick us out?"

"Thank you so much," Stephanie sniffled, her eyes slightly brimming with tears. "This means a lot to me... you and Howie have made this the best day of my life."

"Anything for my Cocci. You just have to name your first born with Howie after me," Ana grinned, sitting down in her seat as she watched the look on the older woman's face. Her cheeks turned red and she gave a silly smile.

"They would be beautiful children with a father like that..." she trailed off, sitting down as well.

"And even more beautiful with my name."

"What if the first born was a boy?"

"I'll figure it out!"

"You're something else."

"True... but you love me."

"Indeed I do. And nothing will change that," Stephanie hugged Ana again as they waited for the concert to begin.


~*~*~*~*~


"Alright, Backstreet! What time is it?!" Kevin hollered as the band, dancers and group gathered in a circle. They began cheering and clapping their hands to a beat.

"It's time for me to go to work, y'all!"

"What kind of work?!"

"HARD WORK!" They all jumped up and down, hugging each other as the audience chanted for their five favorite guys. The band ran out first, followed by the dancers while the guys went under the stage. Like the previous concerts, they always started out by coming from below, shrouded in darkness and fog. As soon as they were situated, the platforms began to slowly move up towards the stage. The screaming became deafening as they caught a glimpse of the boys. Howie looked over at AJ and they both grinned as the music for Larger Than Life began to play, the younger man starting to cackle when flashes of pyrotechnics spurted from each side of the stage. The other four stepped to their left and began to sing. The fans began to sing and dance along with them, shouting their love and adoration over the loud music.

"Are you having fun?" Ana shouted into Stephanie's ear as they moved to the beat like liquid, showing off their toned bodies.

"I'm front row at the Backstreet Boys concert with my best friend... of course I'm having fun!" Stephanie smiled; rolling her hips in a slinky fashion that Ana had taught her a few months before.

"Good, because Howie's staring right at you!"

"He is not--" Stephanie’s mouth dropped in surprise as she looked up on stage to see that Howie was indeed watching her as he performed. Their contrasting eyes locked and he gave her a wink with his handsome smile. "Oh my God... CT, he's staring at me!"

"I already told you that!"

"But he's really staring at ME! Not just the fans... ME!"

"Um, Hello? Earth to Cocci! I already said that!"

Stephanie was about to retort when the song ended and the arena became pitch black yet again, alerting everyone to a wardrobe change. Before they could even wonder what was happening next, a voice boomed over the speakers.

"HELLO, TAMPA! HOW Y'ALL DOING TONIGHT?!" It turned out to be AJ as he and the others walked back on stage, clad in black shirts and pants, but in their own style as always. Everyone screamed in response and he grinned. "KICK ASS! You know we have a great show for you tonight, right? So let me hear some NOISE!"

"Damn... they're good!" Nick commented, pulling out his earpiece to rub his eardrum for a moment. "Then again, we can only expect the best when we come home!"

"And believe us, it's great to be back!" Brian added, looping his arm over Howie's shoulders.

"It's been too long," Howie replied, poking Brian in the side to elicit a shriek and giggle from the man. He raised his eyebrows as the audience laughed. "He scares me sometimes..."

"At least you’re not related to him," Kevin muttered playfully.

"HEY! I resent that!"

"We know."

"WE STILL LOVE YOU, BRIAN!" A group of girls shouted from the side of the arena.

"At least someone does!" Brian huffed towards his band mates, blowing kisses towards the group.

"Anyway. It really is great to be back in Florida for our last concert of the tour before heading back to the recording studio in a few months. No matter where we go... this is will always be the home of the Backstreet Boys," Howie broke the potential arguments, smiling as the fans screamed in agreement. "And now, without further ado... More Than That."

Everything quieted down as the band began to softly play the beginning intro of the song. The spotlight shined on Brian, who smiled as he began to sing. "I can see that you've been crying/ You can't hide it with a lie/ What's the use in you denying/ That what you have is wrong..."

Stephanie closed her eyes and swayed to the music. Whenever Michael had beaten her and left the apartment, she would turn on their expensive stereo and play More Than That on repeat until he got home. It was her way of escaping since she had promised Ana no more cutting. She could dream that Howie was singing the song to her, pleading to let him take her away to a place where she would feel loved and save.

"Cocci can you..." Ana trailed off, glancing at her best friend to see her eyes closed with tears streaming down her cheeks. She wrapped an arm around the woman's waist and tried to wipe the tears away. Stephanie said nothing, but held onto the younger woman tightly as she began to sing softly.

"Baby listen to me when I say..." Howie sang, kneeling down in front of Stephanie and Ana, holding his hand out to the one person who defended him without a second through. "There's not a day that passes by/ I don’t wonder why we haven't tried."

"Cocci, he's singing to you! Open your eyes!" Stephanie did so and gasped. He was on the floor, just behind the barricade, his hand reaching for hers. "Go to him!"

"CT--"

"GO!" Ana gave her a push and she stumbled forward, taking Howie's hand. She felt the electric shock yet again as the guards made sure the other fans didn't interrupt Howie's serenade.

"It's not too late to change your mind/ So take my hand/ Don't say good-bye," Howie looked right into her eyes as he sang, bringing her hand to his lips as Brian sang his small solo. He regretfully let go of her hand and climbed back onstage to finish the song, never breaking eye contact. The song ended and Stephanie still stood there, in shock of what happened.

"Cocci, I can’t believe it! Not only did you meet Howie, hug Howie, take pictures with Howie... you got SERENADED by Howie!" Ana hugged Stephanie tightly as she sat down.

"I'm never washing this hand again..." Stephanie sighed softly, in her own little world as the previous moment played over and over.

~*~*~*~*~

"That was fucking AWESOME!" Nick hooted, bumping chests with AJ as they ran off stage. Sweat was pouring down their faces and their bodies were exhausted, but it was a great feeling. The reason why they performed for thousands of fans every night. Tour hands threw them towels and they wrapped it around their necks, grabbing water bottles as they walked to their dressing room. Normally they would be running onto the busses for the next city but since it was the last concert, they could stay for a while and relax before going home.

"Hell yeah, bro! And now... we get to relax," AJ sighed, falling back onto the cool leather couch with a satisfying plop.

"Not exactly, we have a meet and greet," Kevin replied as he quickly drank half of his water bottle.

"I ain't moving from this couch... the girls can come to me. They always do," AJ grinned, giving Nick a high five as he wiped the sweat off his face.

"You're--hey, where's Howie?" Brian asked as he looked around the dressing room.

"He's right... dude, where is he?"

"He was right behind me after the pyros went off," Kevin frowned, standing up to peek his head out in the empty hallway. No Howie.

"Ooh! I bet I know where he is," Nick cackled.

"Where?"

"With that chick he was singing to during More Than That. He's probably getting her number and he'll get laid--"

"Nick!"

"What?!"

"Howie's not into one night stands. Especially with a fan."

"But did you not see this chick? She was gorgeous!"

"She was pretty fine," AJ agreed with a nod.

"Regardless, Howie--"

"Is getting laid tonight!"

"Instead of assuming that I'm going to get laid... how about you ask me?" Howie spoke up as he walked into the room, a goofy grin on his face. He clutched a small piece of paper in his hand, one he would never misplace.

"Dude! You got the chick's number, didn't you? Huh, huh, huh?" Nick scrambled over to Howie and began jumping up and down.

"And when did you revert back to sixth grade?"

"I didn't know he ever made it past that," AJ snickered, receiving a glare from Nick.

"C'mon, who was the chick you sang to? Did you get her number?"

"If I tell you her name and either say yes or no, will you leave me alone?"

"I can't make any promises?"

"Alright, then I guess you won't--"

"Okay, okay, I promise! I'll leave you alone if you tell me."

"Her name is Stephanie and yes."

"So you're getting laid?! Does she have a friend, sister or cousin you could hook me up with? Does--"

"Time for the ice bucket!" Brian interrupted, watching Howie's face grow red at Nick's constant questions.

"But I need to ask Howie--"

"Whoever hold their head in the bucket the longest gets free food at Mickey D’s."

"ICE BUCKET!" Nick ran over to start their new pre-concert and after-concert tradition, leaving the rest in his wake.

"That was easy."

"Too easy."

"I give him five, four, three, two, one--"

"HEY! Where did everyone go?!"

"Definitely too easy," Howie sighed, falling onto the couch in near ecstasy. Her kiss still lingered on his cheek, her perfume permeated in his senses and her laughter floated softly in his memory. He would call her. It was a risk on his part, but he felt she was worth it.

"Oh my Lord... what a night!" Stephanie sighed as she and Ana finally arrived at their apartment. They had stayed at the arena after everyone had left, talking with Howie about everything from favorite songs to traveling around the country. It was an amazing experience and Stephanie knew she would never forget it. She placed all her t-shirts, posters and other memorabilia onto the floor before collapsing on the couch in an exhausted heap.

"A teenybopper's wet dream," Ana agreed as she emptied the pockets of her jeans onto the coffee table. Muffling a yawn against the back of her hand, she then started the ritual of removing her shoes and socks. Then, unbuttoning her jeans, she slid them over her hips to reveal a pair of hot yellow, boy-cut briefs. And shrugging off her button down shirt, she kept on her white ribbed tank. Tossing the clothes aside, she sprawled on the floor of the apartment, reaching underneath the coffee table for her pillows. It was a ritual for her. Every time she came home.

"Women don't have wet dreams," Stephanie groaned with a laugh, reaching for the large blanket she had made a couple of years ago and wrapping it around her worn body. "C'mon, you know you had fun."

"It was interesting," Ana agreed, nodding against her pillows though she was sure Stephanie couldn't see. Not that it mattered, because the message was still received. It wasn't that Ana didn't enjoy the Backstreet Boys' music. In fact, she surely was a loyal fan, but the craziness exuded by her peers was something she didn't desire. In fact, the very thought of meeting the artists sent a knot coiling in her intestines. It was surely hard to explain, but she'd rather keep to herself. Listening to the music on the way to work and when she was having a terrible day satisfied her.

"At least you admit that much," Stephanie smiled, cuddling deep into the soft fabric surrounding her. The Backstreet Boys had done a lot for her throughout her life and to meet Howie, who had done more than he would know, was the icing on the cake. But she understood why Ana wasn't a fanatic like she was and respected it. She opened her cell phone and scrolled through her phonebook, settling on a particular entry. "I still can't believe I got to meet Howie... get an autograph from all the guys... pictures... and then if that wasn't enough, I got serenaded by Howie and got his number. It feels like a dream..."

Ana playfully rolled her eyes as she groaned into her pillow, shifting slightly on the floor. "Do I need to leave you alone to bask?"

"Nuh-uh! But I think I need someone to pinch me in case I'm dreaming-- OW! CT!"

"You said you needed the pinching!" Ana immediately defended as she rolled onto her back, far away from the couch and coffee table.

"I wasn't serious! It's just an expression!"

"But you know I'd do it, like when you said to bite you!"

"How old are you again?" Stephanie groaned, rubbing her arm where Ana had indeed pinched her. It hurt, so at least she knew it wasn't a dream.

"Give or take a few years... Perhaps a little wiser than a fifteen year old, playful as a one year old, and complimented with the temper of a two year old..."

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it all right there," Stephanie giggled turning on her side to face Ana.

"No wonder I can't get a guy interested in me," Ana decided with a dramatic sigh, staring up at the ceiling. Bracing her hands over her trim abdomen, she released the softest of sighs. She wasn't really interest in pursuing a relationship. She was far more content working at the hospital and fulfilling the needs of her patients. Or, at least, that's what she told herself. Too many dark secrets kept her from searching for a lover.

"You can easily get a guy interested in you. But you just choose to keep work as an excuse not to."

"Or maybe I keep work as a crutch so I won't get hurt too bad when a guy completely blows me off?"

"If you keep looking, you'll find a guy who won't blow you off."

"I'm tired of looking."

"You're too young to be tired of looking--"

"Since when did you turn into Dr. Phil?"

"Ana--"

"Look, the way I'm figuring... If I get Howie to light a fire under your ass with all with the start of phone calls... I can get you moved out of this house and get it back to myself. Then I can start to become the crazy cat lady..."

"Ana, you're not going to be the crazy cat lady!"

"But I love cats--"

"I ain't letting you become the crazy cat lady. Besides, who says I'll move out of the house to be with Howie? I don't even know if he'll call--"

"Oh please," Ana groaned, shifting onto her stomach as she thrust her arms beneath the pillows. "Don't start on that, Cocci."

"Don't even start on what? Just 'cause a guy gives you his number doesn't--"

"As much as I hate pulling out the star card..." Ana moved to sit up, wincing slightly as the muscles in her back whined with a burning pain. "Howie has the chance to date pretty much any woman he wants. So, why would he waste his time in making sure he found you after the concert to make sure you exchanged numbers? It's ridiculous to think he doesn't want to get involved."

"But..."

"Stephanie, I love you unconditionally. You are a beautiful person with a wealth of talent. Any man would be lucky to have you. But you have to start believing in that."

"I know... but it's so hard..." Stephanie sighed heavily, closing her cell phone and placing it against her slim stomach. More than anything, she wanted to believe in it.

"I never said it would be easy."

"Nothing is ever easy for me."

"Or for anyone. You got to get through that and think better of yourself."

"Do you ever take your own advice?" Stephanie questioned as she glanced sideways toward her best friend. Ana was an amazingly strong person. She seemed to hold the entire weight of the world on her shoulders, supporting everyone who asked for help. Yet, whenever she looked to help herself, she seemed to drown. She never spoke of the past, nor the future, just ambling through life.

"Tonight ain't about me."

"Why can't it be about you?"

"Because I'm not the one worrying about whether a guy is going to call me?"

"Ana--"

"And I'm tired."

"Ana--"

"Shh. Tired!" Ana snuggled deep into her pillows. "He'll call you, Cocci."

"You're such a pain in my--"

Stephanie's declaration of annoyance ended abruptly with the musical tone of her cellular phone. Grinning with triumph, Ana shifted against her pillows before reluctantly drawing herself up to her feet. "Night, Cocci."

"You're such a--" Stephanie glanced at the caller ID and nearly squealed. "Holy shit, it's him!"

"Answer the phone, dumbass."

"I'm going to get you back--"

"And he's going to hang up."

"Okay, okay!" Stephanie cleared her throat and flipped open her phone. "Hello?"

"Night, Cocci," Ana sang softly, disappearing down the hallway.

"Night, CT," Stephanie smiled before turning her attention back to the phone. "I'm sorry, Ana just went to bed. What were you saying?"

"Hello?" Howie chuckled.

"Oh! Hello again," Stephanie giggled; blushing softly as she curled into the couch with the phone nestled against her ear. "To be honest, I'm surprised you called."

"Why's that?" Howie murmured, his voice tinting with his own surprise.

"Well, I know you're a busy guy and all... you had a long ass night and I figured you would be sleeping--"

"I had to call you."

"You had to?"

"I had to," he confirmed.

"May I ask why?" Stephanie replied shyly, twirling a strand of silky hair around her index finger.

"Because I had to hear your voice again..."

"My voice? What's so great about my voice when you're the singer?"

"You're my knight in shining armor, remember? It's comforting to hear your voice."

"Howie, stop," Stephanie giggled, yet again feeling her cheeks burn. It had been a long time... if ever... that a man had talked to her like that.

"Why?"

"My cheeks are going to be permanently red with all this blushing."

"I bet you look adorable."

"Adorable with tomato red cheeks?"

"I love tomatoes..."

"You're something else," Stephanie groaned with a chuckle.

"I honestly just wanted to call you and thank you for what you did this afternoon. I really appreciated it. Not many people would have... Just, thank you so much."

"I was just doing what I thought was right. You're an amazing and beautiful person, Howie. No one should insult you like that."

"You're amazing and I'd love to show you my appreciation again. Posters, autographs, and pictures just can't justify what you've done for me..."

"Well, what do you have in mind?"

"How about dinner?" The offer almost sent Stephanie falling off the couch.

"Say huh?"

"Dinner? With me?"

"Oh, Howie... I don't know..."

"Why?" He tried not to sound disappointed, but she could hear it.

"No, it's not that. It's just... I recently got out of a really bad relationship and--"

"You're scared?" he guessed easily. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed. I understand--"

"You don't have to apologize, you didn't know. How about instead of dinner, we go dancing? I'll bring Ana... and maybe you could bring AJ for her?"

"Ana..." Howie's voice trailed. "The woman you were with today?"

"Yes, the blonde firecracker."

"She could definitely be AJ's match."

"Really?" Stephanie murmured, hoping she didn't sound too elated with his words. It had been far too long since Ana had been involved in a relationship. Much less even a romantic entanglement. She was so scared of her own shadow, though she loathed to admit such.

"Really. That boys been looking for someone who could give him the excitement he craves... and I think Ana could be that someone. She seemed full of life and spunk," Howie had to smile at her excitement. "I'm guessing you've been trying to set her up for a while?"

"A while? More like years!"

"Years?" Howie chuckled softly. "What's wrong with her?"

"She's just been hurt too many times to care anymore. At least, that's what she shows on the outside. Deep down, I know she wants to find Mister Right."

"Stephanie..." Howie trailed, obviously shocked by her honesty. "I'm sorry, I didn't know--"

"You don't have to apologize," Stephanie interrupted gently. "I mean, if we're going to be friends... we've got to tell each other things, right?"

"Well, yes, but I didn't realize that she..."

"A lot of women out there are like Ana... and myself. No one knows except for the ones who went through it."

"...I would love to go out dancing with you, Stephanie. As long as you're sure."

"I would really like that. You'll bring AJ if I bring Ana?"

"I doubt AJ could ever turn down a night of dancing. Especially with two beautiful women."

"Ooh. Nice line, Rico Suave," she teased.

"I try."

"Determination. I like that."

"Just once of the many services I offer."

"What other services do you have, Mr. Dorough?"

"I'm charming, sweet, appreciative, romantic... God, this conversation has really taken a turn for the worse hasn't it?"

"Now why would you say that?"

"Because I feel like a cornball?"

"Cornball?"

"Is that an old term? Never was one to keep up with the slang... Nick sounds like an Iraqi whenever he speaks to me..."

"Oh! Do you mean like how Brian felt when he dressed up for the "As Long As You Love Me" video? But take your outfit with the big Afro--"

"Like I need to relive that humiliation..."

"Stop it, you looked cute!"

"And you're sickening me!" Ana hollered from somewhere within the darkened hallway. "Go to bed! It's late!"

"Uh-oh... Momma bellows... it's my bedtime," Stephanie chuckled with a roll of her eyes.

"Is she older than you or younger?" Howie inquired with honest curiosity.

"Believe it or not, she's a year younger than I am. Doesn't always act like it, but she tries. Like I said, she'll give AJ a run for his money."

"What should I tell AJ about her?"

"Beautiful... blonde... ambitious... wild... his type of girl but with a sweet side."

"Sounds like one of those late night adds on TV..."

"You asked me to describe her, smartass--"

"You've got a minute and then I'm coming out there to ground you from the phone!" Ana's voice interrupted.

"Ground?" Howie chuckled.

"That's not her usual threat--"

"You're going to be missing fingers in thirty seconds, Cocci!"

"Okay, that's her usual threat. I'll call you tomorrow and figure out the time and where and--"

"Fifteen seconds!"

"Yikes! Sweet dreams, Howie."


~*~*~*~*~


"Can you please remind me what I'm doing?" Ana groaned, walking into Stephanie's room clad in a white tank top and ducky printed boy shorts. That morning, the older woman had conned her into tagging along for a night of dancing with Howie and AJ and as the time neared for them to leave, she was starting to get the twisting sensation in her intestines.

"Getting dressed so we can go out for the night?" Stephanie returned with a teasing sarcasm, shrugging on a sheer black over shirt to compliment the maroon bodice that pushed her peaked breasts up into a sweet cleavage. She had spent the entire morning searching for the perfect outfit to wear out. Had traveled to several different stores till she found the complimenting tops to enhance the wide legged, black pants she had bought months ago. She had been nervous about her initial selection, but had swallowed her fears. She wanted to look good for Howie. To know that she was valued.

"I'd rather get a bottle of tequila and some lemons and get shit-faced in my own damn house," Ana disagreed as she flopped onto her friend's bed, crossing her arms behind her head.

"But you're doing this for me, CT. Remember? You've told me I need to go out and find a guy who is genuinely interested in me as a person. I think I found him... but I want to take it slow. That's why the four of us are going dancing," Stephanie explained, biting on her bottom lip as she looked herself over in the mirror.

"Then we could have easily gone out as a threesome," Ana decided with a grunt, bending her knees so her bare feet flattened on the mattress. When Stephanie had initially told her of the plans, she had laughed. In fact, Ana was convinced that Stephanie was joking until Howie called to verify. Then everything had become startlingly real. Especially as Stephanie primped for the evening. Though, Ana prepared just to wriggle into a pair of jeans before leaving. She wasn't out to impress anyone. Not that she could anyway.

"No, we couldn't have. I think you'll really like AJ. And I want you to give him an honest to God chance," Stephanie turned and shot her a glare of warning.

"I'll be on my best behavior," Ana promised with a sarcastic mocking to her voice.

"Anastacia Grace."

"It ain't like I'm a total bitch, Stephanie, Jesus--"

"I didn't say you were. I'm just saying, give AJ a chance. Alright?"

"...Fine."

"Good. Now go change. And no jeans."

"Bullshit no jeans," Ana muttered as she rolled off the bed.

"We're going to Club Tabu. No one wears jeans in there and I swear on God's green Earth that if I find you wearing--"

"What are you possibly going to do to me?" Ana questioned, far from intimidated as she sauntered through Stephanie's doorway. She heard the smack of the pillow against the far wall and held a satisfied grin. Hopping into her bedroom, she pulled her favorite frayed, ripped, and torn hip-hugging jeans from the foot of her bed. Sliding them onto her hips, she heard the annoying buzz of her front door. Leaving her pants unzipped and halfway up her hips, she went racing down the steps. Jumping up to the door, she unlocked it and yanked it open.

"Whoa! Are you trying to start a new trend?" A pair of wide brown eyes looked Ana up and down with a bewildered gaze.

"Maybe just a fad," Ana decided with a brief shrug of her shoulders, honestly not bothered by the eyes roving her body. She was fully covered up; just her boy cut shorts exposed by her unzipped jeans.

"ANA! STOP MOONING THE GUESTS AND LET THEM IN!" Stephanie's voice hollered from upstairs.

"Like my ass cheeks are hanging out," Ana scoffed as she opened the door wider, gesturing for the men to enter. When they did, she bumped the door with her hip and reached to zipper her pants.

"I wouldn't mind that..." a raspy voice decided.

Ana turned around and raised her eyebrows at the tattooed man in front of her. "Excuse me?"

"God, AJ," Howie groaned in disbelief as he reached to grab the man's upper arm. He pulled him back in full anticipation of AJ meeting Ana's right hook. But she laughed.

"Finally, a man who's got some balls," Ana turned and headed towards the stairs. "Just make yourselves at home, we'll be down in a minute."

"How about you do me a favor and stop flashing those balls, huh?" Howie hissed when Ana had disappeared upstairs. Yanking AJ into the living room, he glared hard at the younger man. Was he trying to embarrass Howie to death?

"Damn, calm down! Don't need you having a heart attack before your knight in shining armor sees you," AJ yelped, fixing his collar as Howie released him.

"Don't mess this up for me--"

"I know how much you're digging this girl and I wouldn't do that to you! I'm not Nick."

"You just have to keep it cool with Ana, y'know--"

"Okay, okay, okay. I get the point. Now will you calm down?"

"Not until..." Howie's sentence trailed off into oblivion as he glanced toward the stairs to see Stephanie approaching. She was gorgeous in her black sheer button down shirt complimenting the dark maroon bodice and matching black wide leg gauchos. Her long platinum locks were loose and falling into wisps of curls. "...Hey, Stephanie... You look fantastic..."

"Yeah?" Stephanie blushed, smiling softly as they hugged.

"Absolutely."

"You look pretty handsome yourself."

"Thanks," Howie whispered as he reached to kiss her cheek, rubbing her back affectionately.

"Are you alright?" Stephanie raised an eyebrow, though she couldn't deny the goosebumps on her arms as he rubbed her back. He really did look handsome, wearing a simple black button down shirt and khaki pants. His curls were gelled and wild, just the way she liked it.

"Fine," he promised, his voice catching.

"Okay..." She shrugged and turned to AJ, holding out her hand to him. "It's nice to see you again, AJ. Well, I only met you for a minute by the busses, but--"

"Hearing Howie talk about you, trust me, we've met more than a minute," AJ promised with a chuckle as he shook her hand. "Thank you for inviting me along."

"Oh, really?" Stephanie smirked as Howie took a turn to blush. "I'm glad you could come with us. Ana doesn't go out very often, especially with a guy, so... I thought this would be a good chance for her. Just don't be surprised if you can't keep up with her."

"Is that a challenge?" AJ questioned in confusion, glancing from his friend to Stephanie. His dark brows furrowed slightly as he tried to remember what Howie had mentioned about the woman that was to be his date for the evening. Firecracker was the only thing that truly came to mind, especially as the woman who had greeted him halfway dressed at the door came rushing down the stairs. Her long golden curls were tossed into a messy bun as just the lightest touch of gloss to her full lips. She had completed her outfit of her torn, ripped, and faded hip-hugging jeans with her white racer back, ribbed tank. Shrugging on a complimenting jean jacket, she smoothed her hands over her thin body.

"Pretty much," Stephanie groaned. No matter how hard she tried, she could never get Ana to dress up at the appropriate times. "Ana, didn't I say you could wear anything but jeans?"

"He's in jeans," Ana reminded, gesturing toward AJ's faded and ripped jeans. "Can't out-dress my blind date which I didn't ask for, can I?"

"Anastacia--"

"Ana," she corrected as she extended her hand toward AJ. She smiled sweetly toward him, knowing she couldn't be ill tempered with a guest. But she wouldn't be swayed in her attire nor her convictions. She had spent her entire life being crushed underneath the weight of others. And she had spent years trying to correct the horrors in her life, yet it didn't seem to work.

"Nice to finally meet the firecracker," AJ smiled, shaking her hand warmly. She was definitely a diamond in the rough and he was intrigued.

"Firecracker?" Ana laughed, glancing toward Stephanie and Howie for confirmation. "What exactly have you been telling him about me?"

"I tell him what she tells me," Howie immediately defended his actions; Stephanie's face was still red from Ana's refusal to even try and dress up just once.

"Well it's the best way to describe you," she shrugged.

"Glad that I'm self-contained into one word," Ana drawled, releasing AJ's hand to tuck a few loose golden curls behind her pierced ears. Moving to yank her Converse shoes from underneath the coffee table, she collapsed on the couch to slip them on. She didn't want to be bothered with romance. She had enough of that with her father. Anything else, whether pure or otherwise, was tainted.

"Let's just get going," Stephanie sighed heavily, turning around to walk out the front door. For years she had tried to find the right man for her best friend, but now it seemed futile. AJ didn't deserve to be pulled in and then pushed out. She was going to have a talk with the younger woman later, whether she liked it or not.


~*~*~*~*~


"Holy... this place is amazing!" Stephanie found herself in awe as they walked into the ritzy and packed club that Howie had opened a few years before. It was one of the most popular places in Florida with a long line every night and they walked in without even a wait.

"We worked hard to make it fantastic," Howie approved as he reached for Stephanie's hand, leading her through the throngs of clubbers. He didn't want her to get lost from his sight, simple bringing her close to his body, weaving her toward a set of iron stairs. "We're going to go up to my private area, alright?"

"How can I say no?" Stephanie smiled, holding his hand tightly as they walked up the stairs. She dared not look down, but kept her mind concentrated on the feeling of his warm skin against hers.

"You always have a right to say no," Howie reminded her as he nodded toward the bodyguards at the top of the stairs leading to a solid oak door. Allowing Stephanie to enter first, Howie glanced back for a moment. "AJ! You coming?!"

"Ana and I will be up in a little bit! She's already out on the dance floor," AJ chuckled, watching the petite blonde woman move her way through the dance floor.

"It's alright that they're down on the dance floor, right? 'Cause, as charming as my best friend is, I doubt he's going to be able to convince Ana to come up with us," Howie explained as he closed the door to his private suite. He had made this special for his closest of friends. A private bar off to the side, leather couches, chairs, and lush pillows spread around the sides with a large dance floor in the center.

"Yeah, it's fine. I was just trying to set Ana up with a nice guy, but of course it backfired. So at least you and I can have fun," Stephanie approved, looking around the posh room. It was breathtaking.

"AJ's a nice guy?" Howie chuckled playfully, though when Stephanie scowled he held his hands up in defense. "He is a nice guy. What's portrayed in the media is just... What's he call it? ...Hype... He deserves a good woman..."

"Ana's a good woman... She's just been tainted by her past. I've been trying to get her some help or help her myself, but she won't have it."

"What happened in her past?" Howie inquired, moving behind the bar to fix himself a drink.

"I don't want to say too much... but her biological father hurt her. A lot," Stephanie followed him to the bar and pulled out a Smirnoff Ice. She popped the cap and took a long drink.

"Oh..." Howie trailed softly, pulling out a bottle of Budweiser.

"Funny how so many people were abused in life and on the outside, you would never know," Stephanie walked over to the dance floor, the bass vibrating the very core of her soul. She closed her eyes and began to dance, letting herself flow with the music.

"Life was never meant to be fair, I suppose..." Howie trailed, taking a long swallow of his drink. He watched as Stephanie moved in the very center of the dance floor. Her hips rocking from side to side with the beat. It was soft movements. Nothing wild nor flirtatious, but the smile on her face... That attracted him...

"No, it really wasn't. But at least there's a time in life where you can forget it all and get lost in music," Stephanie continued to smile, suddenly drinking half of her Smirnoff as she danced.

"Nervous much?" Howie inquired, moving from behind the bar to stand in front of it. He leaned his elbows back against it, just watching. It had been so long since he watched someone else dance.

"Me? Nervous? What would make you say that?" Stephanie opened her eyes and saw him watching her. She looked down at her drink and realized it was almost gone. "Oh, that. I just haven't drank in awhile, that's all."

"So you're just going to overdo it tonight so I have to carry you home, huh?"

"Well, not until you come and dance with me."

"...Huh?"

"I don't know, just come out here. I don't like dancing by myself!" Stephanie laughed, finishing her bottle.

"I think you're drunk," Howie chuckled as he set his bottle down, pushing himself off the bar. Wiping his sweaty hands down his khakis, he approached Stephanie tentatively. He struggled to remember the last time he had danced with a woman that had held a romantic interest in his heart. It had just been so long.

"Buzzed, not drunk. Big difference," Stephanie began dancing a little bit more seductively, beckoning him with a smile. For once, she was throwing her insecurities out the window.

"Buzzed is just not part of a Backstreet vocabulary..." Howie decided as he held his breath.

"Soon it will be if you keep hanging out with me," Stephanie laughed again, dancing towards him to break the ice. "Come on, I know you're the best dancer in the group."

"I'm not the best..."

"I think differently. Why don't you come and show me?"

"Just don't laugh..."

"I would never laugh."

"Take it easy on me, too," Howie chuckled nervously, reaching for her hands to draw her close into his embrace.

"I will," Stephanie promised as he wrapped her arms around his neck.

"If only the club played slow songs," Howie chuckled, looping his arms about her waist to pull her closer. It seemed as if her body melted against his as they swayed slowly, not caring for the rapid beats of the music. It was almost as if they were dancing to their own soundtrack. The rhythm of their beating hearts.

"We can make our own music," Stephanie whispered.

"I don't know if I--"

"Your music is beautiful, Howie. Everything about you is beautiful."

"No one's ever said that to me before..." Howie trailed, pulling his head back to meet her gaze.

"Then I'm glad that I'm the first to tell you," she smiled softly, running her fingers through his curls as her blue-gray eyes sparkled.

"Me, too," Howie confessed with the softest of smiles, reaching to cup her face within his hands. Her skin felt like the softest piece of velvet to his fingertips. His body overwhelmed with the sensual delights and he couldn't resist. Deciding to take a chance, he leaned in to seek her lips with his, moaning softly when she reciprocated the passion.

"Ooh, once I get my hands on her... I can't believe she did that!" Stephanie seethed softly as she climbed out of her car. The air was chilly against her sweaty skin as she pressed a button and the doors locked and set the alarm. It was about two in the morning and she had just left the club after dancing all night with Howie. Little had she known was Ana had deliberately lost and ditched AJ soon after they had arrived at Tabu. Anger flowed through her veins towards the younger woman as she opened the front door and slammed it shut.

The sharp slam of the front door seemed to jar Ana from her light nap on the couch. Immediately sensing the unrest in Stephanie's stomp and string of curses, Ana rolled to the floor and attempted to scurry for the stairs. There was no way that Stephanie would possibly understand her reasoning for leaving the club that evening. She could attempt to fake a headache, but Stephanie would rip right through that tattered lie. It just seemed easier to flee. She was good at that.

"ANASTACIA GRACE LORD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU AND DON'T YOU TRY TO RUN AWAY!" Stephanie found herself shouting as she caught Ana trying to scramble up the heavily carpeted stairs.

"Fuck me raw," Ana heaved with disgust as she slipped several times on the carpeted stairs before getting a fair run. Stumbling at the top, she moved into her bedroom and prepared to slam the door. She didn't want to get involved with a man. Was that so hard to understand?

"I promised AJ that it would be a fun night with you. Harmless dancing at the most! And what did you do? You fucking ditched him! How can you be so rude?!" Stephanie continued, storming up quite quickly and slamming the door open, blocking the entryway with her foot.

"He was entertaining himself with some other slew of chicks and didn't even notice I left. And where the Hell do you get off promising AJ anything about me? It's my choice, not yours," Ana fumed as she wriggled out of her jeans and reached for a pair of purple plaid boxers. It was insufferable the way Stephanie was acting. Ana had spent most of her life underneath the rules of others, never allowed to speak her mind against the atrocities that befallen her. Now Stephanie seemed to be doing the same, putting Ana into a defensive state.

"How is he supposed to act around you with the way you reacted to him coming along? Damnit, Ana--"

"It's my life, not yours. Back off!"

"Which you're completely screwing up--"

"Who are you to tell me that I'm fucking up my life, Stephanie? How could you possibly know? I've got a damn good job with fucking brilliant benefits. Patients that I love to death and co-workers that I can joke with. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?! And who's to say the man was even fucking hurt? He doesn't know me."

"You can tell me you're fine until the fucking cows go home, but I know you're anything but fine!" Stephanie snapped, her eyes dark and narrowed at Ana. "You're just scared to give AJ a chance because of your biological father--"

"Leave him out of this and get the Hell out of my room," Ana growled menacingly, every muscle in her body seeming to tense at the mere mention of the man she tried so hard to forget.

"No. I just want to see you happy, God forbid! You need to get over what happened if you ever want to be 'fine'. Not every man is like him!"

"Get over?" Ana murmured as she paled significantly, her hands curled into fists of fury. "Get over what he did to me? Get out, Stephanie. You can go burn in the depths of fucking Hell for all I care!"

"You don't think I was abused? You don't think I was hurt? I had to fucking live with my father until I turned eighteen. I'm trying to get over what he did to me! I battle my demons everyday! But you just try to forget them. Like they'll just go away on their own and you can pretend to be fine until then. Well guess what, Ana! You'll NEVER BE FINE! Not until you face what he did to you!"

"I was raped," Ana whispered underneath Stephanie's powerful scream. "I was beat and raped."

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing," Ana muttered with hurt as she yanked out a baggy t-shirt from her chest of drawers. She then slipped past Stephanie to get to the bathroom. She suddenly felt wholly unclean at the mere confession.

"No, wait a minute," Stephanie gently grabbed Ana's arm and pulled her back. "What did you just say?"

"I was wrong. You were right. Happy? I let things bottle up inside instead of facing my demons like you. I'm not some perfect creature. I'm too selfish to realize that I'm not the only person who was abused--"

"I don't care about that right now. What did you say?"

"It's not important--"

"Ana--"

"Tell AJ I'm sorry."

"Ana, wait! Talk to me... I've told you everything. What can't you tell me?"

Ana shook her head in attempts to ward off the conversation, starting into the bathroom till Stephanie's hand snaked around her upper arm. Suddenly she was propelled into a nearby wall, which seemed to send a flashback of horror into her mind. "I was raped, okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

"Why didn't you ever talk to me about it?" Stephanie's eyes pooled with tears as she reached out to brush Ana's curls out of her face.

"How the Hell was I supposed to tell you that my father raped me?" Ana choked as she pulled away from Stephanie's affectionate embrace. Resisting the urge to gag, she moved into the bathroom to run a steaming bath for herself. Unconsciously, she lifted one hand to scratch idly at her upper arm. She always felt unclean when she thought about it. As if her father's fluids remained embedded into her tender flesh.

"Ana, don't. That water is going to burn you and we'll have to go to Urgent Care," Stephanie went to turn off the hot water.

"I like hot baths," Ana objected, though she turned on the cold water at Stephanie's stern glare. "Don't look at me like that."

"There's a big difference between hot and scalding."

"Fine."

"Ana... I'm sorry. If I had known what happened with your father... I wouldn't have pushed all these dates on you for so many--"

"So, you'll back off?" Ana inquired, keeping a distance between herself and Stephanie's newly acquired knowledge.

"Yes... if you can do just one thing for me."

"What?"

"Okay, it's actually two, but go with me on this. Please come to me... about anything..."

"Fine. What else?"

"At least get to know AJ as a friend. Nothing more unless you want it. I just think he would be fun for you to hang around with."

"Stephanie, what does it even matter? I ditched the man at Tabu. He is hardly thinking about me at this very moment. He had plenty of girls at his disposal and he still will. Just let me be."

"Just because he has all those girls doesn't mean he couldn't use a friend. Howie's told me about all the pranks AJ's done over the years... you two would be an amazing team."

"He doesn't need my drama."

"Will you at least think about it?"

"If he comes after me, fine."

"Okay," Stephanie walked over to Ana and hugged her gently, kissing the side of her face. "I'm exhausted. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Afternoon," Ana corrected.

"Are you ever going to wake up in the morning?"

"Do you even have to ask anymore?"

"...Good point," Stephanie chuckled, walking out of the bathroom. "Love you."

"Love, Cocci."


~*~*~*~*~


Sighing heavily, Stephanie closed the door to her room as the bathtub finally stopped running water and she knew Ana was taking a cool bath to calm down. She didn't mean to hurt her, but the look on AJ's face when he said Ana was gone set her off. That was one thing her father always told her; she never thought before she spoke, and it would always get into trouble. He was right about those things.

How was she to know that Ana had been sexually abused by her father? What indication had her friend given that such acts were... Stephanie groaned softly as she stepped in her bedroom to discard her smoke-ridden clothing into a nearby hamper. The signs had been all too clear. Ana dressing in baggy men's clothing. Never accepting dates from the opposite sex. Unwillingness to become intimate. Unnerved whenever a man touched her. And whenever she came back from her father's house... The bruises weren't the only evidence that something was awry.

"Damnit, Ana."

She shook her head, furious with herself for not seeing the signs herself. They were all there right in front of her face, but she never did anything about it. If she had known, she could have protected Ana... or told someone... anything to stop the abuse.

"To think I just thought she was getting smacked around," Stephanie muttered as she fell into her bed, knowing that she wouldn't be sleeping that evening.

Grabbing her favorite pillow, she curled up into a ball as the darkness surrounded her. The bay window was open, and allowed the sounds and smells of the ocean float into the room.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Stephanie fully anticipated that she could make herself fall asleep. But, time seemed to stand still as she waited. The only images she could conjure were that of Ana huddled in some corner, sobbing in pain as she begged her father to leave. Shuddering, she turned to grab her phone from the floor, hitting a familiar key of numbers. "Howie? ...Hey... Sorry to wake you up... I just wondered how AJ is?"

"He's a little put off, but he's fine... I just think he's not used to girls leaving him like that. Most would pay anything just to be in the same room as him..." Howie trailed off with a chuckle, which turned into a yawn.

"He doesn't want to see her again?" Stephanie guessed with a frown.

"Quite the contrary. He does."

"He does?" Stephanie choked in surprise. "Why?"

"I don't know... I guess something about her intrigued him."

"...She said she'd be friends with him..."

"Stephanie, what's wrong?" Howie raised an eyebrow at the tone of her voice.

"Nothing... Everything... I'm not really sure..." she confessed with the softest sniffle.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?"

"I think you'll fall asleep if I do that."

"I won't fall asleep on you."

"Howie..."

"You don't have to talk about it, but I think you'll feel better if you do."

"Ana confessed this huge secret to me tonight..."

"What?"

"You know how I said her father hurt her when she was younger?"

"Yes..."

"He did more than that... God, Howie, he raped her. His own daughter."

There was a significant period of uncomfortable silence as Howie tried to absorb the information. "Stephanie..."

"I'm sorry, I already said too much. Way too--"

"No, wait--"

"I can tell you're uneasy talking about this. It's okay, I just needed to say--"

"Just talk to me."

"I... I... I..."

"C'mon, Baby. Talk to me."

"I could have done something!" Stephanie burst into a quiet sob, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Done what?"

"Helped her... stopped the bastard... something! Anything! But I did nothing!"

"Stephanie, you didn't know--"

"Signs, Howie! There were signs everywhere and I didn't do anything!"

"She didn't want you to know."

"I could have... I could..."

"You can't blame yourself."

"But--"

"You can't blame yourself for something that sick bastard did. It's not your fault. Ana would have done anything and everything to keep that secret from you."

"I still feel like a horrid friend..."

"I know, but you've got to remind yourself that it's not your fault."

"I hate fathers. They do nothing but hurt their daughters..."

"Your father, too?"

Stephanie sighed, rubbing her wet cheeks. "My father, too."

"He...Raped--"

"No... he didn't rape me."

"What did he do?"

"Emotional abuse and physical abuse," Stephanie answered somewhat stiffly. "He... He called me names... He hit me... It was a rough time to be a kid..."

"Oh, Stephanie... I'm sorry--"

"It's alright. He died of cancer a year ago and I had moved out right when I was eighteen..."

"You deserve so much better than that."

"At the time, I didn't think so... I just wanted him to love me, like a father should."

"I wish there was something I could do for you, but I don't think I can..."

"Tonight was a start."

"...I had a great time, too."

"Even though we were both nervous as Hell at first," Stephanie chuckled softly, curling under the blankets.

"I'm getting more comfortable..."

"After all those kisses? I would hope so."

"That was a perk," Howie mumbled with a soft laugh.

"Definitely... I can still feel your lips on mine... does that sound weird?"

"A little..."

"Howie, be nice!"

"I was teasing!"

"Yeah, you better be..."

"I'll make it up to you."

"How?"

"I can make dinner for you tomorrow night. Just the two of us. All you have to bring is a bottle of wine and your beautiful self."

"Sounds like a perfect second date."


~*~*~*~*~


"God, what a day," Ana groaned as she pushed the helmet down onto her head, grabbing her favorite bat. She walked towards 'her' cage and stepped inside, slipping a five-dollar bill into the machine.

Usually after a long day of work, Ana loved nothing better than to trundle into a hot shower and then curl into bed for a long nap. But, after confessing her secret to Stephanie, Ana had no desire to go home. Wanting to relieve her frustrations, she poised over the home plate of her cage and rested the bat against her shoulder. Her aggression needed released. Somehow. Somewhere.

The machine clicked and whirred to life, and Ana kept her eyes on the bright yellow baseball as it slid down the tube and shot out at her. Imagining the baseball was her father's head; she swung hard and connected, sending the ball flying over the open field.

"Damn!" a raspy voice called from behind her as she slammed several baseballs deep into the fields, farther than any man in the rows of cages.

"You ain't seen nothing yet," Ana murmured, concentrating harder on the balls, oblivious to the man behind her.

"I never would have thought of you being the batting cages type."

"Because, yeah, you really know who I am," Ana grunted as she hit the button at the edge of her cage to pause the machine. Glancing backward with every intention of slamming her bat into the fingers that were probably twined into the cage links, she actually gasped when she found a familiar pair of dark rust eyes and the devious smile that had actually caught her attention for more than a passing glance. "AJ? What the Hell are you doing here?"

"I was going to hit some balls myself, but I think watching you is more entertaining," AJ shrugged with a good-natured smile. "Hello to you, too."

"I'm sure a lot of women say the same whenever they get in your company," Ana breathed, turning away from him as she kicked some dirt up with the toe of her shoe. She leaned to press the button once more, but turned with a groan. "Why is it more entertaining to watch me?"

"Because you're an attractive woman?"

"I'm hardly attractive," Ana groaned as she hit the button with her bat to start the machine once more. She had to wonder how many times he used that line on how many women. She had seen him perform on stage. To say he was a man-whore would have been a grand understatement. He sought pieces of tail and ended the relationship there.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's true?"

"Then you obviously haven't been looking in a mirror for a long while," AJ whistled as he leaned against the fence behind her, studying her form. To say she was attractive hardly did her justice. She was breathtaking, even dressed in a pair of comfortable lavender scrubs with her long golden locks tucked underneath a helmet. Her physique was perfection, softly curved with the beauty of womanhood. And to watch the power behind her muscles was wholly gratifying. Perhaps better than making love.

"If you aren't the Serpent Charmer."

"I was trying to compliment you, since you never gave me a chance last night," AJ frowned a little at her tone, but continued to watch her nonetheless. Something about Ana intrigued him, and he wasn't about to give up.

Ana hesitated as the next ball whizzed past, unable to swing fast enough so it bounced against the fence. AJ leapt backward in shock at the ball hurling toward him, causing him to yelp. "God, I'm sorry!"

"You really like to keep people on their toes, huh?" AJ rubbed his stinging fingertips from the vibrating fence.

"I said I was sorry," Ana groaned as she stopped the machine and slipped out of the cage. Pulling the helmet from her head, she tossed it next to her bat before reaching for his hand. "I didn't break your fingers, did I? 'Cause Lord knows I don't need anymore hate mail."

"No, they just sting a little," AJ let his hand rest inside Ana's dainty one as she did a quick examination.

"I really didn't mean to do that," Ana breathed as she extended his fingers, satisfied that no yelp of pain passed his lips. Noting no signs of swelling, she took a small breath of relief. "God, I'm sorry."

"I know, it's alright. No harm done," AJ wiggled his fingers as proof with a chuckle.

"Don't you know better than to stand behind a woman swinging a bat?" Ana groaned as she pushed on his shoulder.

"I would have done different if I had known women go to batting cages," AJ stumbled slightly.

"Would have shown up in something better than a pair of tattered jeans and a t-shirt?" Ana guessed as she stooped to collect her gear to offer it to AJ. She had enough of the cages for one day. He could at least finish her time. Though, when she looked to him, she decided that he couldn't have looked better in a suit and tie. The scruffy look had always appealed to her.

"Nah, this is how I normally dress--"

"I like it," Ana confessed before she could stop herself.

"Yeah?" AJ offered a crooked smile. "I kind of figured, since you didn't even dress up for the club."

"What's the point in dressing up for people you don't know? I mean, I'd rather be comfortable with my body around complete strangers," Ana attempted to explain, though she finished by shrugging her shoulders helplessly.

"I can see where you're coming from. That's why I just went in my jeans and wifebeater," AJ shrugged as well.

"Ain't like you got to do much to get women basking in your greatness anyway," Ana decided, moving toward the equipment station when AJ declined her bat and helmet.

"Basking in my greatness?" AJ raised an eyebrow as he followed her.

"Nothing," she sighed as she returned her equipment, turning to find AJ right behind her. "Look, I'm sorry about ditching you at the club. For whatever reason, it was rude of me. You didn't deserve that."

"If it wasn't your thing, I understand. I just would have liked to at least say good-bye."

"I know..."

"So... do you think you could give me another chance?"

Ana furrowed her brows with skepticism as she watched AJ shove his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. Rolling his shoulders forward, he managed to keep a steady gaze upon her as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. If she wasn't mistaken, Ana could have thought he was nervous. Biting down on her bottom lip, she offered a nervous smile. "A chance for what?"

"For us to get acquainted? And not through a "date" at the club. Dinner, or something... or even just a day at the beach--"

"I'm not really looking for--" Ana hesitated when she remembered her promise to Stephanie. Exhaling a hard breath, she reached to sweep the fallen curls into a better ponytail. "A day on the beach would be nice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I haven't been out in the water for awhile."

"That's great!" AJ smiled happily, his nervousness washing away. "I could even pack us a lunch. Or we could barbeque on the sand. Or--"

"Excited much?" she laughed.

"Well, you can't blame me. What day are you off work?"

"Friday, Saturday, Sunday... Why can't I blame you?"

"Because it's been a long time since I've been on a date with a genuine woman who wasn't doing it to just get in my pants?"

"Getting in your pants is just a bonus round for if the day goes well," Ana attempted to tease.

"You have an interesting sense of humor," AJ chuckled as they walked out of the batting cages and towards the parking lot.

"An interesting sense of humor? Is that as close as you get to complimenting a chick?" Ana inquired, tensing slightly when AJ's arm looped around her shoulders. Her first instinct was to push him away, but when he brought her closer, she loosened.

"Well, I could go on... an amazing toned body, beautiful blue eyes, silky blonde curls that I would love to run my fingers through--"

"But that would be too much," she warned, turning to lean against her car.

"Okay, okay. I crossed the border," AJ nodded, holding his hands up slightly.

"Because if you're going to comment on my body, then it's free territory to comment on yours."

"And how would you comment on mine?" he raised a dark eyebrow.

"I'd say that I am undoubtedly glad that you finally stopped wearing all those ridiculous sunglasses because your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. This dark rust of deep brown. And, you may be lean and perhaps very ass-less, but the build of your upper arms is amazing," she started with a soft purr, pushing off her car to step closer to him. She invaded the personal confines of his space till her chin was resting over his shoulder, her words a mere whisper against his ear. His warm breath against her neck sending a chill down her spine. "You probably know how to hold tight to a woman while you're making love, knowing just how close to keep her and how demanding to get before she cries out with ecstasy... And how fun it must be to just lay in your bed and trace the lines of your tattoos as you sleep..."

"Th-thank you..." he stammered slightly, wrapping his arms around her waist. Never before had he met a woman who could turn him speechless with such simple words but filled with lust and desire.

"You're trembling for me, aren't you?" she whispered.

"Yes..."

"Want me more than anything?"

"Oh God, yes."

"Would give your life just to have me in bed next to you tonight?"

"My life and everything else--"

"What would you do to me?"

"Kiss every square inch of your body... run my hands down your smooth, tanned skin... bring you to the edge of ecstasy before connecting us as one... not stopping until we scream each others names and we tangle into a melted heap in the bed, falling asleep in a warm cuddle..."

"Bet you promise that to every woman," Ana decided with a soft sigh as she brought her hand down to his jeans, lightly cupping the brewing erection. She had always made light of sexual games, because it seemed to ease the tension she always felt about her lost innocence. But this forwardness with AJ was startling. "But, I also guarantee that none of those women ever got you horny just by talking..."

"N-No one has ever done that," AJ swallowed hard as he felt all the blood rush down towards the region where Ana's hand was.

"But you like it?" she inquired, squeezing gently.

"Da-amn... yes," he moaned.

"You don't even know me."

"But I want to know you--"

"You aren't getting to know me like that tonight."

"O-Okay... I respect that."

"Though now you're going to think I'm some bitch of a tease, huh?" Ana groaned as she pulled away, finally noting the faint line of perspiration layering AJ's flushed face.

"Not a bitch, but definitely a tease," he wheezed softly.

"You're going to faint if I move away..."

"Then maybe we should go for a drink? My treat."

"You're horny as Hell and you want to go get drinks?" Ana murmured, wrinkling her nose in distaste as she carefully pulled away from his grasp. Suddenly, she felt her stomach knot at the suggestion that she was a tease. It was something that her father always said. That she had asked for what she got. "I'm sorry, AJ..."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"For being a tease... I shouldn't have--"

"Ana--"

"I'm just an insufferable bitch," she explained as she reached into her pocket to withdraw her keys. "We can get into my backseat and I'll give you--"

"Whoa, hold on a minute!" AJ interrupted, his eyes wide. "Ana, you're not a bitch. I would never say that about you. I thought we were just having fun teasing each other, that's all. I don't want to go into your backseat to get... whatever... if anything sexual should happen between us... I want it to be mutual. Something we both want. Nothing less."

Ana glanced to him skeptically as she electronically unlocked the doors to her car. "Honestly, I have no problem--"

"No. I don't know how you perceive me from the media, but doing things in the backseat with women is not my forte."

"I didn't say that I thought you were--"

"I know, but I'm letting you know that's not what I'm into. I want to get to know you before we do anything that physical."

Ana winced. "I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to be sorry."

"But--"

"Here... make it up to me by going out for a drink. We'll just relax, talk and have a good time. Okay?"

"AJ, I'm not sure--"

"One drink. And if you still want to go home, you can. Just give me a chance."

"We're talking Pepsi right?"

"If that's what you want, that's what you'll get."

"I'm still really sorry--"

"It's okay, I promise."

"I can't believe I--"

AJ silenced her rambling with a kiss on the cheek before heading to his car. "Follow me. I know the perfect place."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm so nervous," Stephanie groaned softly as she eased her car onto Howie's long driveway, finally parking next to his purple Corvette. She checked her make-up in the mirror and climbed out, pressing the remote to lock the doors. Straightening out her clothes and hair, she slid her small purse onto her shoulders and walked to the front door, her high heeled boots click-clacking on the black pavement.

She had spent several hours attempting to find the perfect outfit for the evening. In fact, her entire closet was now lying on her floor till she decided on the black miniskirt and layered plum camisole set. She hoped Howie would approve--

"Aren't you gorgeous!"

"You're talking about me?" Stephanie glanced behind her to make sure no one was there.

"Of course I'm talking about you," Howie chuckled as he led her into the house.

"Me?"

"Am I allowed to kiss you hello?" Howie questioned suddenly as he shut the door behind her.

"I... yes, you are," Stephanie felt her cheeks redden as she smiled sheepishly.

"Fantastic," Howie breathed as he reached to gingerly cup her face within his hands. Pulling her closer, he gently brushed his lips against hers.

"I missed your kisses," she whispered, loving the sweet taste he left on her lips.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too," she leaned forward and kissed him again. "So, what did you make me for dinner?"

"I see how it is..."

"Howard Dwaine--"

"Chicken parm with spaghetti and a small side salad."

"I love chicken parmesan!" she nearly started drooling at the thought.

"Oh really?" Howie chuckled as he took her hand, helping to thread her arm through his. Gently patting her hand, he led her toward the dining room, smiling when her eyes widened in disbelief. He had decorated the room in faint candlelight with just a touch of classical music playing in the background. Dainty china had been placed at two place settings, hearty meals filling each as glasses of wine sat to the side.

"Howie, I... you... this must have taken hours for you to get ready... I'm just... wow..." was all Stephanie could mumble in surprise as they walked to the deep oak table, Howie moving away so he could pull the chair out for her.

"You're welcome," he stated simply.

"Thank you," she finally forced from her lips, sitting down in the heavily carved chair that matched the table.

"No need to thank me," Howie promised as he kissed the back of her head before moving to seat himself across from her.

"No one's ever made dinner for me before," Stephanie smiled, placing the napkin on her lap as she took a sip of wine. It was definitely not from a regular liquor store. She grabbed the knife and fork, gently cutting a piece of the lightly breaded chicken covered in cheese and sauce. A sigh escaped her as she chewed the delicious food. "I'm sorry, I know you're supposed to start with the salad, but this is fantastic--"

"In some cultures it's tradition to eat your salad last," Howie assured with a small smile, leaning back in his chair to simply watch her. It fascinated him - the way she ate his meal as if she had never tasted anything so delicious before. It did his heart good to see a woman enjoying his cooking, instead of his four friends scarfing everything in sight.

"Are you sure?" she asked, chewing her food before speaking again.

"Of course. Eat well, Sweetheart."

"But... aren't you going to eat?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry... I just love to see you enjoying my food," Howie explained softly as he grasped his fork and knife, cutting into his chicken breast. His cheeks tinged pink as he glanced up briefly, unable to keep a smile at bay.

"You should be proud of your cooking. It's like taking a trip to Italy without even leaving the room," Stephanie smiled, taking a sip of wine.

"Have you ever been to Italy?"

"Actually... no, I haven't," she admitted, blushing as well. "But someday, I would like to."

"It's a beautiful country," Howie agreed, wanting to offer her the opportunity to travel there with him as a guide. But, he held off. This relationship was new. Far too new to be inviting her to Italy on a whim.

"And I'll bet you and Kevin were the only ones taking advantage of the culture, food and arts," Stephanie chuckled, remembering a tidbit from an interview claiming the two oldest men were always out sightseeing while the younger men stayed near the hotel and ate Americana food.

"Unfortunately, yes, culture is not a big important quality to the life of rock stars... Well, younger rock stars who love McDonalds..."

"They'll learn... sooner or later... I think with Nick it'll be much, much later."

"He's not such a bad guy."

"I know he's not. It's just... I need to get to know him, I guess."

"It would be a good idea."

"Why's that?"

"Well, if I plan on spending more time with you, then I'd hope you'd make an effort to get to know my friends. Just like I would love to get to know your friends... And AJ called me by the way, before you came. He's having drinks with Ana."

"Ana? Out having drinks with AJ?"

"More like her having a drink if she does drink, and AJ having either soda or something non-alcoholic."

"Ana knows he's sober now..." Stephanie murmured, leaning back in her chair to stare at Howie with bewilderment. She had been slightly worried when Ana hadn't returned from work. Though, reviewing the events of the previous night, she now understood. Ana couldn't even stand to look Stephanie in the eyes. It was heart wrenching. And the nightmares were awful. "She won't drink..."

"That's good to know," Howie noticed the change in her tone and posture. "You and Ana still aren't speaking?"

"She won't even look at me," Stephanie answered honestly. "It's like she's ashamed or something."

"She might still be blaming herself for what happened. A lot of people who have been abused or raped feel that way."

"You're preaching to the choir... Well, about the abuse... But I don't blame myself anymore... Not when Ana came into my bathroom and nearly kicked my ass for..." Stephanie brushed her fingers down the inside of her wrist, feeling the faint remnants of her scars. "She was so strong for me. Forced me to be strong. But she won't be strong for herself. Well, not in the right way."

"She just told you a big secret... maybe you need to give her a little time to let it all sink in that it's not her fault. Or even try and get her to see a therapist--"

"Ana won't see a therapist."

"Why not? She's a nurse, isn't she? She knows it's healthy..."

"She won't do it. She's been dealing with this her own way for so long, there's no other way she would choose."

"...AJ should know--"

"God, no! You can't tell AJ about this! Ana doesn't even know that I told you! There is no way on God's green Earth that she would forgive me if she found out I told you. It took her twenty-one years to tell me!"

"But if AJ and Ana hit it off--"

"No, Howie. PLEASE."

"You can't let AJ get into a relationship like that, especially if it's going to blow up in his face. It's not fair to him."

"It's not fair to Ana for us to tell AJ something she needs to say herself. It's her past, not ours."

"AJ's just finally starting to get his life on track..."

"Howie... please. I can try and get Ana to open up to AJ, but... I don't need my best friend hating me..."

"She's not going to--"

"You don't know Ana yet," Stephanie sighed, quickly drinking the rest of her wine.

"She would hold a grudge against you?"

"She very well could."

"Then she's not--"

"Don't even say that."

"I'm just--"

"She saved me, Howie. That's all there is to it. I wouldn't be here, eating this delicious dinner and kissing you without her," Stephanie stood up and walked into the living room.

"Stephanie..." Howie sighed softly, abandoning his fork and knife as he pushed away from the table. Holding his breath, he followed her till he discovered her sitting on the couch, furiously rubbing at her inner wrist. "...You used to cut, didn't you?"

She looked up, tears brimming against her blue-gray eyes. "Years, Howie... I thought I would never stop..."

"Ana got you to stop?" he guessed softly, moving to sit beside her.

"I was in a really bad place not too long ago. Dark... painful... scary... cutting made it go away, but not for long. Ana caught me one night after my 'punishment'... she got me out of there and helped me stop."

"The boyfriend?" Howie guessed, recalling Stephanie's history from their late night phone conversation. Reaching over, he gently twined their fingers together.

"He hurt me so much, yet I still tried to convince myself that he loved me... I was a fool..." Stephanie trailed off, concentrating on her fingers touching his. So warm and loving. Not cold and harsh like Michael.

"You were looking for love in the wrong places," Howie stated simply, leaning over to kiss the side of her face. "Try to put your love in me."

"I want to, and I am... slowly," Stephanie reached out with her free hand and cupped his cheek. She brought her lips closer to his, until they were mere centimeters apart.

"Slowly, but surely," Howie agreed softly, finding her lips with his.

"Howie..." Stephanie murmured softly beneath his lips, leaning into him so he fell back against the couch.

"Stephanie," he whispered as she covered his body with hers, their lips never breaking apart.

Unable to conjure words as means of explanation for her actions, she busied herself in straddling his hips as she anchored her fingers within his shirt. Leaning down, she hardened the kisses into sweet nips of appreciation. It had been so long since she was loved appropriately. When the hands that caressed her body didn't feel like snakes' tongues flicking across her skin, drawing a disgusting ache from her heart. And the hardness growing beneath her caused a thrill of excitement.

Howie's heart beat heavily in his chest as different sensations swept through his body and down towards his lower region. He couldn't remember the last time he was able to feel this way with a woman. Most were forced events that he didn't quite enjoy and to have this happen was blissful.

"So much for slowly but surely?" Stephanie guessed in a soft whisper as she worked to undo the buttons of his shirt.

"I... If you don't want to, we can stop--"

"Do you want this? Do you want me?"

"Stephanie, it isn't a matter of me wanting you," Howie breathed in shock, rubbing a trembling hand across his face. "You can feel that I want you."

"I know, but it's just... I've never heard those words before... not filled with the passion we have for each other..." Stephanie took his hand and laced her fingers through his.

"It's your choice."

"I want this. I want you," She finished unbuttoning his shirt and trailed her fingertips over his caramel skin.

"No regrets?"

"I could never regret anything with you."

"Steph," Howie sighed, gently bringing her down for a sultry kiss to fuel the fire once more. Though, he hesitated. "Not just because you're a fan, right? 'Cause God--"

"No way," Stephanie shook her head vehemently. "I'm not looking at you as a fan. I'm looking at you as a woman who sees you as a very handsome man. One who could finally help me feel true happiness and love."

"Good," Howie sighed with relief, pulling her down for a soft kiss once more. As they kissed, Stephanie peeled his shirt off and threw it in an unknown destination on the floor, her hands trailing down to the waist of his dress pants.

"God..." Howie breathed with a whimper as her hands fumbled with the belt of his slacks, yanking his waist slightly. He smiled at the blush deepening against her cheeks, reaching out to gently run his fingers down the side of her face. He wanted to calm her.

"It's been awhile since I've had to deal with belts," Stephanie murmured.

"It's not a race or a porno," he chuckled, reaching down to help her.

"Thank God," she smiled as the belt was finally loose enough for her to slide his pants down and onto the floor.

"We'll save that for later," he suggested, moving his hands along her body to discard her clothing. Each item fluttering to the floor in a small pile, Howie grinned at the alluring beauty nestled atop him. Leaning in, he gently kissed the crevice between her breasts.

"Oh, Howie..." she shuddered softly; his kisses were like fire against her skin.

Howie moaned in response to her shudder, continuing to layer kisses along her chest. Nibbling at her collarbone, he crossed the kisses to the opposite side. Then, bending down, he licked the curve of her breast, easing his throbbing erection inside her. He felt the instant tension in her body from him and stopped. "...You okay?"

"It's been a long time and... Please go slow," Stephanie whispered, trying to relax and get through the slight pain.

"I will," he promised, gently rising up to meet her for the initial thrust.

A moan escaped her soft lips as the pain went away and was replaced with pure pleasure.

"Better?" he questioned as she rocked her hips against him, guiding the rate and depth of his penetration.

"Much... oh God... Howie..." she whimpered, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Steph," he grunted in pleasure, reaching up to tenderly caress her breasts as her hands flattened on his chest.

Waves of ecstasy flowed through Stephanie's veins as they continued to be connected as one. One beating heart, one breath, one soul. They moved as one, her cries becoming louder.

They were one upon the release of their intertwined ecstasy.

One.


~*~*~*~*~


"What can I get you?" the bartender asked as Ana and AJ stepped towards the lavish bar. AJ had chosen a higher-class place to have some drinks, one that a lot of fans didn't know about so he could have time to get to know the intriguing woman before him.

"Just a Coke," AJ turned to Ana. "What would you like?"

"A Pepsi, but I can--"

"One Pepsi, one Coke," AJ interrupted, pulling out a few bills.

"You drink Coke?" Ana asked the man beside her as she blatantly ignored the bartender's bewildered glance to the couple. Looking down, Ana accounted for her light lavender scrubs compared to AJ's torn and faded jeans with complimenting muscle tank. But, watching AJ retrieve the drinks, she realized that the bartender was confused as to their selection of beverage. But, Ana wasn't about to drink in the presence of a recovering alcoholic. She was not crass. "...Do you know that the reason that they call it Coke because it has traces of cocaine in it? When it was first made?"

"Yes, Nick told me that the first time he was able to surf the Internet... along with other facts such as flavors of Jell-O. Did you know they tried ones such as chocolate and green lettuce?" AJ chuckled, handing her the glass of Pepsi.

"Chocolate Jell-O? Wouldn't that just be the pudding as a brand of the Jell-O-O? What Cosby advertises?" Ana murmured curiously as she followed AJ toward the back of the bar. To what she assumed was his regular table.

"They had the chocolate pudding, but they tried it in Jell-O form," AJ slid into the leather booth, setting his drink on the table as Ana sat across from him.

"I'd be all for some lettuce Jell-O," Ana decided with the remnants of a small smirk, swirling the straw around in her soda.

"Are you-- Oh, sarcasm. Gotcha," AJ chuckled, taking a drink of his soda. It was still odd sometimes, not having the sting of alcohol along with the carbonated liquid. But he didn't miss it.

"Yeah..." Ana trailed in a soft whisper of a voice, simply watching the ice in her drink tumble in a whirlwind that she had created. She wasn't exactly sure what she was doing, sitting in a bar with AJ, the man she had completely blown off a day before. She wasn't interested in a romantic fling with him. And, she could only imagine what he wanted from her. Probably worse than her father.

"Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?"

"Like what?"

"Like... how did you get into nursing? And what do you do at the hospital?"

"You sound like one of the interviewers at the hospital," Ana answered with a nervous laugh, reaching for the paper her straw had been contained in, jerking slightly when AJ reached for the same. "Why I got into nursing... I've always loved medicine I guess. And, I have a half brother that I love to death. He's my everything. I've always taken care of him. And my other half siblings at my father's house... I love kids. So, I'm a Pediatric Nurse at the hospital."

"Wow. That's great. I like kids too; I'm just not that good at the medicine part. But you get to help them feel better and... that's got to be an awesome feeling."

"You do the same thing with your music..." Ana trailed, settling her hands into her lap. The conversation was so light and perhaps cheesy. He seemed to be trying too hard. "We just help children in different ways."

"You're right..." AJ nodded, looking into his glass for a moment. What was wrong with him? Normally he could easily strike up a conversation but there was something about Ana... it made him nervous that he was going to say something idiotic.

"Are you alright?"

"Huh?" he looked up and found himself lost in her beautiful blue eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Am I..." AJ couldn't even find the words to complete the sentence as he exhaled a soft breath of awe. He had never seen eyes so beautiful as hers before. A deep electric thrill of dark sapphire with just the hint of emerald flecks dancing around the pupils. Usually, with his suave attitude, he wasn't bothered with a woman's eyes. His gaze would always travel elsewhere. But he was mesmerized by her. The very essence of her.

"If you're uncomfortable, I can certainly leave--"

"No, please. Don't leave. I'm sorry, I just... I got lost."

"Lost? In what?"

"Your eyes."

"Oh please... don't pull that old routine. I'm sure too many women have heard it already."

"What? God, no, I've never--"

"Why are you so interested in me? Do you think I'm some big conquest because I blew you off?"

"No! Because you're--"

"I'll bet you have a deal going on with Brian and Nick or whoever... see how long it takes to get into my scrubs. Let me tell you--"

"Damnit, Ana--"

"Tell me one secret that you've never told anyone else in your life. Prove to me that it isn't a game. That you're sincere about being friends. That you don't want me in your bed."

"You want to know a secret about me? Alright. Here's a secret. When I was an addict, I had a girlfriend. Deirdre. She was wild like me... partying every night with the drinking, drugs and unprotected sex. One night we were celebrating the Backstreet Boys nominations for the Grammy's and had some lines of the finest cocaine. Or that's what we thought. It was laced with some heroin and Ajax cleaner... after a few lines... according to Deirdre and others at the party; I began convulsing and stopped breathing. Someone called 9-1-1 while another person, not entirely sober, tried to give me CPR. The paramedics came and I was revived in the ambulance. I was checked in under a private name and no one was called under my order. I almost died that night, but no one knew. Not until now."

Ana fell into a state of uncomfortably shocked silence. She had been pressing into him to get an over exaggerated reaction. She wanted a violent reaction that would give her justification for keeping away. Something that would tell Stephanie that she didn't need AJ in her life. That he wasn't safe. But, now, she didn't know what to say. The overwhelming sadness brewing in AJ's dark coffee eyes called a knot of pain to coil in her intestines. Standing up from her seat, she carefully moved to sit with him. Avoiding all eye contact, she studied their drinks. "...I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry. I actually feel better... having someone else know. I've been holding it in for too long," AJ dismissed the apology, taking a chance to rub the back of her neck and was shocked to feel how tense and knotted up the muscles were.

"You didn't even tell anyone in rehab... I mean, God, it shouldn't have been me..." Ana whispered, feeling her throat constrict with hurt.

"I didn't tell anyone in rehab because I wasn't comfortable with them knowing. I'm comfortable with you knowing."

"Why?" she asked, holding her breath as she reached back to brush her fingers lightly over the back of his hand, hating how good it felt to have him massage her neck.

"Honestly? Because beneath your hard exterior, you have a kind and tender heart. You're not judgmental and you're a good listener."

"You hardly even know me..."

"But am I right?"

"I wouldn't know," she answered, reaching to pull his hand away from her neck. Stretching slightly, she slid out of the booth, wrinkling her nose at the stale smell of cigarettes.

"How can you not--"

"I don't know how to describe myself," she admitted honestly.

"Oh. Well... I think my description was pretty accurate."

"But you--"

"I know."

"...Can we leave?"

"Sure," AJ stood up and left a tip on the table. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't really care. If you want, you can take me home... Whatever you want to do," Ana murmured, shoving her hands into her pockets. "I just need to change out of my scrubs and... I really can't stand the smell of smoke, it makes me sick."

"Okay, no problem. We can go to your house. Would you mind if I stayed, so we can talk more?"

"AJ--"

"Ten minutes. And if you want me to still leave after that... I will."

"Promise?"

"Of course."

"Why you want to stay at my house, I'll never know," Ana mumbled as she walked outside with AJ, leaning close against him when she noticed a large man leering at her. Shifting her gaze down to the sidewalk as they moved toward his car, she shivered uncomfortably. It felt as if the man's eyes were still burning into her. She hated that feeling.

"You okay?" AJ asked as he opened the passenger door for her.

"Fine," she murmured, shuddering when she turned to see the man grin at her.

"Are you..." AJ looked up and saw what made her feel unsettled. "Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?"

"AJ, don't--"

"You talking to me, scrawny-ass?" the man growled.

"Yes, I am talking to you. Obviously, you're making her feel uncomfortable. So just hit the road, alright? And learn how to treat women respectfully without staring at them like a piece of meat."

"AJ, please," Ana whined softly, reaching to take his arm. "Let's go. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Listen to your woman, AJ. We don't want you getting hurt," the man taunted with another leering glance.

"You piece of..." AJ trailed off with a growl, feeling Ana's hand slip into his and pull him towards the car. He shook his head and turned around to his car. "You're not worth it."

"And you're not worth that sweet piece of ass you've got on your arm," the man snarled, reaching out to cup Ana's backside without warning.

"What the fuck!" Ana yelped, the touch oily and disgusting.

"You son of a fucking bitch!" AJ hissed as he watched Ana fall against the car from the man's hard shove. Tightening a fist, he turned and swung as hard as he possibly could. His fist connected into a heavy jaw, sending a satisfying crunch of what he hoped was teeth. Watching the man clatter to the ground, he jumped upon him to throw several more punches.

"AJ!" Ana groaned as she helped to pull him off the man, sending him toward the car. Hearing the noise of someone screaming to call the cops, she encouraged AJ to start the car.

"That son of a bitch," AJ muttered under his breath as he revved the engine and sped away from the bar, down the darkening streets. He glanced to Ana with worry. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she whispered, pressing her body tightly to the passenger door. Her gaze shifted to watch the passing scenery, fighting a batch of frightened tears. It had been so long since she had been manhandled like that. The mere tight squeeze sending her into a fit of disgust.

"Are you sure? I'm sorry he touched you--"

"I'm fine."

"Ana..."

"God, did you throw a fist into that guy's jaw," she suddenly laughed.

"He disrespected you. I did what I thought was right," AJ shrugged, the aching pain surfacing in his hand and knuckles.

"He's going to be spitting teeth for a week."

"Good. He could have been spitting a lot more if you hadn't stopped me."

"AJ--"

"I'm glad you did. That's not how I normally react to situations..."

"And how do you normally react?" she asked with honest curiosity as he pulled into her driveway. She noted that Stephanie's car was gone. She would have the house to herself.

"Normally just one punch and I'm gone. But what he did to you... it really set me off," AJ killed the engine and climbed out of the car, walking over to open her door.

"You didn't have to open the..." Ana's sentence trailed to an inevitable conclusion as AJ reached to take her hand, helping her from the car. She smiled with thanks as he pushed the door shut with his elbow, wincing slightly. Glancing to his other hand, she frowned when she noticed the bruised, swollen, and bleeding knuckles. "...AJ, your hand..."

"It's nothing--"

"Come inside. I'll clean it and check the damage."

"Ana--"

"I'm the nurse, right?"

"Right..."

"Right. And you're coming in so I can take care of your hand."

"Yes Nurse Ana," AJ teased as they walked towards the front door.

"Another smart remark and I'll break out the shots."


~*~*~*~*~*~


A rumble of thunder and the lull of falling rain gently woke Howie from his deep slumber. He peeked his eyes open and smiled at the sight before him, nestled under the soft blankets. Stephanie lay in the very center of his bed, curled comfortably to his side. Her long platinum locks spread in a sweet fan along her pillow. They had first made love on the couch before Howie had gathered her into his arms, sweeping her to his bedroom. There, they made love once more before drifting asleep in each other’s arms.

Thank you Lord, for bringing her to me. Howie prayed silently, running his fingers through her soft locks. She had found the scars he had made during their lovemaking. He first expected her to pull away in revulsion. But, instead, she had kissed them. Howie had wept in surprise at the revelation and then she had kissed his tears away.

"I love you..." Howie whispered, leaning down to brush a kiss across her forehead. The action caused her to stir softly, burying her head in his chest to try and stay asleep.

"I love you too," she mumbled sleepily.

"What?" Howie breathed in surprise, not ready to hear her voice. He had been convinced that she was sound asleep. But those three words never sounded so heavenly.

"I said," she kissed his chiseled chest before peeking her eyes open. "I love you, too."

"...Stephanie..."

"I mean it, Howie. No one else has made me feel so safe and protected... and I know you don't throw 'I love you' to every woman you sleep with... I love you for you."

"You act like it's some big number..." Howie chuckled uneasily; though he leaned down to gently kiss her good morning. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Stephanie said yet again, running her fingers through his messy curls. "And unlike the abusers in my past... I know you mean it when you say it."

"I'll always protect you."

"Promise?"

"Promise," Howie answered, crossing his index finger over his heart.

"Good, because I'll be holding you to that promise," She took his hand and gently kissed his fingertips.

"So, what are we doing today?"

"Since it's rainy and gross outside, how about we--" Stephanie jumped as a loud rumble of thunder and crack of lightning halted her words.

"You don't like storms?" Howie guessed as she shifted into his lap and hid beneath the covers. He had never seen a grown woman react quite like that to a bit of thunder and lightning.

"No... I had a bad experience with storms when I was younger," Stephanie shook her head, burying her face into his bare chest.

"What happened?" he asked with an honest curiosity.

"On the way home from school, a storm passed through the neighborhood. A really bad one. I ran as fast as I could and reached home just when hail started to fall. The sky was green... the rain was pouring so hard... and the sirens started going off. I tried the doorknob and it was locked. Usually my father was home, so I didn't have a key. I was stuck outside for two hours until the storm ended and my mother ended up coming home before he did. I've been scared of storms ever since."

"I'll protect you from this storm," Howie promised, reaching to gently kiss the top of her head. "And every storm after."

Soft light filtered through the thin purple curtains, the storms finally done as Ana lay deep under her covers. She stirred slightly as the sunlight began to rouse her sleepy body awake. Stretching like a cat after a nap, she peeked her eyes open and saw she was alone in her room. Racking her groggy brain, she tried to remember what happened last night.

Begrudingly pulling herself from the depths of her numerous blankets and pillows, she fumbled for the hair-tie that she kept around the bedpost. Locating it easily, she swept her mess of long, golden curls into a high ponytail. Satisfied that the curls were off her face and neck, she rolled out of bed. Padding through the hallway, parched, she still attempted to recall the previous night's events. She could vaguely recall running into the infamous AJ McLean and potentially breaking his fingers at the batting cages. Then drinks... Yes, they had gone for drinks... Sodas...

"With the way my mind is working, one would have thought we went on a binge," Ana muttered to herself, walking down the carpeted stairs. She began to remember something else. A fight... AJ had gone into chivalery mode and-- her thoughts stopped as she saw a mass of blankets on the couch.

Stepping into the living room, she leaned to the side and groped for the metal baseball bat she had propped in the corner of the room. Hoisting it to her shoulder and circle both hands tightly about the end till her hands blanched. She couldn't recall what had sneaked into her house, but from her years of watching horror movies, she would not play the vixen that died. Inching toward the mass, she was revolted to hear a loud, nasally snort. Raising the bat, she was convinced that she would crush whatever lay in hiding. Beast or man.

"Mmph..." it groaned again, brown spikes of hair peeking out fromm the blankets and deep brown eyes that soon followed that widened in terror at the sight before them. "HOLY SHIT!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE, MCLEAN?!" Ana shrieked in disbelief when he went diving over the couch in an entanglement with the blankets. Dropping the bat over her shoulder, she winced when it connected with her bare foot. "Damnit!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH A BAT?! I'M TOO YOUNG TO GET BEATEN TO A BLOODY PULP!" AJ shrieked back, attempting to get out of the tangles of blankets.

"THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN MY HOUSE!"

"YOU SAID I COULD SPEND THE NIGHT!"

"WHEN THE FUCK DID I--" When her knee came into contact with the cluttered coffee table, causing her to fall backward in the nearby Lazy-Boy, a jolt of memories collected in the recesses of her fogged memory. They had been having some sodas at some typical bar when a man had made a inappropriate comment. AJ had reacted as if he were her lover instead of annoyer... So, driving him to her home, she insisted that he come inside so she could tend to his hand. Somehow, they had continued to chat and she insisted that they watch some movies... "Jesus Christ..."

"And she remembers," AJ grumbled, slipping on the covers she had given him. He disappeared behind the couch with a thud. "GODDAMNIT!"

"I remember inviting you to stay for movies, not spending the night, though halfway through the movies I fell asleep..." Ana immediately reached to rub gingerly at her aching temples. She didn't even bother to check with the man who had disappeared behind the couch once more, too caught up in remembering the last part of the last movie. How had she fallen asleep? And how the Hell did she get upstairs?

"I carried you upstairs and I fell asleep down here," AJ grunted, peering from the edge of the couch. "I'm fine, by the way. Thanks for asking."

"You're welcome," Ana returned, continuing to massage her aching foot.

"Freaking blankets!" AJ growled, finally kicking them away from himself. He crawled back onto the couch again.

"Where'd you find them anyway?"

"Umm... behind the couch and draped over the Lazy-Boy."

"Gotcha..." Ana trailed, using her opposite hand to give her stinging knee a good rub. Staring at the man slouched on her couch, she tilted her head in sheer wonder. The man had every opportunity to take advantage of her position last night, yet he had cast himself to a lumpy couch. "...Why didn't you just go home and leave me on the couch?"

"I didn't want to leave you alone," AJ shrugged, running a hand through his hair. In all honesty, he didn't think he would have been able to leave her last night. Something about her intrigued him.

"But you didn't have to carry my fat ass up to bed."

"You don't have a fat ass," AJ chuckled.

"I'm sure you copped a good feel when I was knocked out, huh?" Ana questioned, quirking her light blonde brows.

"Why would I do that?" AJ raised a dark eyebrow in return.

"Because I was fully open to whatever you wanted--"

"What I had wanted was a chance to talk to you and get to know you. While you were conscious."

Ana leaned backward in the Lazyboy, unable to hold such an aggressive front. Not when the depth of AJ's dark chocolate eyes burned with a sweet sincerity. She had never seen such honesty in a man. Nor had she ever let herself drift into such a deep sleep, especially in the presence of a man. Lightly tapping her fingers upon her bottom lip, she released the softest of sighs. "Thank you for taking me upstairs last night... That couch hurts my back something fierce when I sleep on it."

"I have no doubt that it does. That's why I carried you up to your bed," AJ shifted and grimaced as his back flared up.

"Don't exactly have the funds to buy a new living room set, y'know? Since having Stephanie move in here and... I make a decent living at the hospital... But..." Ana offered another shrug, studying the way AJ pulled his arms behind his back in an uncomfortable manner. "Why don't you take some of those pillows and lay on the floor? On your stomach."

"Okay," AJ grabbed the pillows and did as she suggested. "When I was first living on my own... people refused to sleep on my couch."

"Well, why would you make your girlfriends sleep on the couch when you had a perfectly good mattress in the bedroom?" Ana teased, waiting for AJ to become comfortable upon the floor. Then, she stood from the Lazyboy and walked over to where he lay. Carefully, she straddled his hips, feeling him immediately tense. "I'm not going to strangle you... I just want to give you a quick massage... Then I can make you breakfast..."

"Sorry, I keep remembering a bat hovering near my body," AJ chuckled as she began kneading the kinked muscles. "Whatcha making me for breakfast?"

"I thought there was a critter hiding beneath my blankets and I wasn't about to be some airhead that gets herself killed because she had to investigate a noise. Bash first and ask questions later," Ana explained with a grunt, hesitating for a moment before sliding the wifebeater up over his shoulders. Admiring the length of tattoos covering his back, she reached for her favorite lotion laying upon the coffee table. Squirting some into her hands, she hurriedly applied it to his back, hating how intense his muscles felt. "What's your favorite breakfast meal?"

"You watch too many horror--" AJ moaned as she hit a large knot. "Movies."

"You alright?"

"It's been a long time since I've had a massage."

"Maybe you should stop working yourself so hard and get one every now and then?"

"Easier said than done?"

"Story of my life," Ana agreed morosely, running her hands lightly up his back. Feeling him shiver, she actually smiled for a moment before rubbing his neck. "Guess you should hire a personal masseuse for the road. Or find a few more girlfriends."

"I'm getting tired of having multiple girlfriends... though hiring a masseuse might be a good idea."

"I only charge forty an hour... Not including the tip..."

"Would you consider it if I offered you the job?"

"Working full time and over time at the hospital makes it a bit impossible..."

"You would make three times what you make at the hospital."

"I'm a Registered Nurse, not a professional Masseuse. Besides, you want someone who's qualified and doesn't try to slaughter you every chance she gets. Besides, we argue horribly. I doubt I'd get you calm."

"I'm pretty calm right now."

"Why are you so insistant about this?"

"Because I need a good masseuse. You said it yourself!"

"I also said I'd make you breakfast, does that mean you're hiring me as a cook, too?"

"Hey... yeah!"

"I keep digging my hole even deeper," Ana groaned.

"You're just going to have to accept," AJ insisted, rolling beneath her so he laid upon his back.

"Never," Ana insisted with a small smile nonetheless, unable to help herself as she brushed her fingers down the side of his face. "But you can stop by any time you need a massage. Okay?"

"Can I come by just to come by?"

"I'm pretty boring... Stephanie uses me for my massaging and she lives here..."

"I don't think you're boring..."

"You don't?"

"Not in a million years!" AJ exclaimed, reaching out to catch a blonde ringlet that had fallen from her ponytail. "Who else would wake me up with a death threat?"

"I think some ex-girlfriends might..."

"The ex-girlfriends who used me for my fame, money or both?"

"I was thinking about the ex-girlfriends that you used," Ana answered honestly, climbing off his hips. Standing up, she made sure to offer her hands to him, not wanting to leave him on the floor. "I always thought you wanted more ass than a toilet seat."

"I didn't WANT it... I just... was having a hard time trying to find the right girl..." AJ trailed off, grasping her hands and standing up.

"So, you figured that getting each girl into bed would help you find the right now?" she continued to question, gesturing for him to follow into the kitchen. She couldn't have possibly been any different from the man. He sought to have as many relationships as possible while she averted any possibility of romance at every chance.

"I didn't say it was the smart way to find the right one," AJ shrugged, paddinng behind her.

"And now?" Ana asked, retrieving the carton of orange juice from the fridge. Shaking it vigourously, she opened it to take a large swallow without the need for a glass. She then offered it to him.

"Now I'm just kind of standing in the background... waiting," AJ grasped the carton and took a long drink.

"Waiting for what exactly?" she inquired curiously, gathering an abundant amount of ingrediants from the fridge. Enough to create a masterpiece of an omelete with sausage and bacon.

"Someone. That certain someone. Where your eyes connect and there's this click... like you've known them for years," AJ sat on a barstool near the stove.

"Your true love?" Ana guessed, though she was skeptical of the entire concept. She had never been one to dismiss another's hopes and dreams. Instead, she had entered a profession where she strived to help solidify hopes and dreams through caring for the sick. Giving them the strength to live another day.

"Yeah, basically," AJ watched her walk around the kitchen. "Do you want any help with breakfast?"

"How good of a cook are you?" Ana asked, regarding his lithe frame with a bemused smirk. When he scowled, she laughed softly and gestured for him to approach. "Why don't you mix the eggs and milk and beat them? You seem like a sadomachoist..."

"I only tried that once!" He scowled again and began mixing all the ingredients.

"I bet," Ana mused with a laugh, turning so she could prepare the pans. Though, throughout her work, she continued to glance at AJ, Just a casual glance every now and then, so if he caught her, he would merely assume that she was checking his progress. But, instead, she couldn't help but let her mind drift. He had been with so many women, yet he claimed that none of them had loved him. How could he have been so unloved given the circumstances... Sighing, she moved to drop slices of bacon within the pan, suddenly turning. "You say you're waiting? ...So, how long has it been since you had sex?"

"Wow, you don't beat around the bush," AJ chuckled, raising his eyebrows as he turned from the egg mixture.

"There's no point?"

"It's been about... three months."

"God, you're probably hornier than a duck--"

"Hornier than a WHAT?!"

"Ducks like to fuck?" Ana offered innocently.

"I thought it was that their quacks didn't echo..."

"C'mon, if your name rhymes with fuck, you know you enjoy the act. Kind of like Chuck... Every Chuck I ever met just wanted a chance to score--"

"That was a tangent I wasn't prepared for," AJ chuckled softly.

"Well you got me off--"

"I what?!"

"The original subject," she immediately emphasized.

"Oh..."

"Did I get your hopes up, McLean?" Ana questioned, turning around to regard what looked like such a deflated expression marring his handsome face.

"Well, no, I was just--"

"Why does it look like I stepped on your favorite sex toy, then?"

"Give me a minute. I'll come up with a good response..."

"You mean a lie," she answered, adding the links of sausage into another warmed pan. "...You know... For what it's worth... Watching you dance is something that I find extremely erotic."

"Really?"

"Really," she confirmed with a nod of her head, slicing and dicing the variety of ingrediants she would offer him for the omelet. "The way you move your body... Whenever I watch you, I can't look away."

"Well, it seems like you can't look away from me now, either," AJ murmured, noticing the way she continued to glance away from her work, making sure to observe him. He held a proud smirk upon his face, continuing to work the egg batter furiously. He had never felt so awkward around a woman before. Usually they were falling at his feet. Constantly. Now, for the first time in his life, he had to work for her attention.

"I just can't get over that you haven't had sex for three months," Ana hurriedly quipped.

"Because of how I perceived myself to the media in the past as a manwhore," AJ chuckled, watching her cheeks redden.

"Well, you wore the t-shirt, not me."

"I will be the first to admit that I have not always been the fashionista."

"And I won't piss on your leg and tell you it's raining."

AJ stopped beating the eggs for a moment and looked at the woman cooking. "WHAT?"

"I was just simply saying that I won't lie to you and say you were an expert in the fashion department."

"...Okay?"

"Are the eggs done?"

"I think they're beaten to a pulp."

"Good," Ana answered with a laugh, gesturing for him to come forward. Dividing the batter into two portions, she stepped to her side. "Use whatever you want for your omelet and I'll cook it."

After checking out all the ingredients, he chose green peppers, cheddar cheese, onions and mushrooms.

Taking his mixture, she moved to the final pan and poured the egg batter into the simmering butter. It crackled with life and she picked up a spatula. Feeling the heat of another body, she looked over to see him standing next to her, just watching. There was a sudden rush of delight that moved over her, but she dashed any hopes of it kindling further. "You're a hyper indivudual, y'know that."

"I've heard it for years from Kevin. In fact... he told me that last week..." AJ gave a cheesy grin and rested his chin on her shoulder for a moment.

"And you're probably spoiled rotten," Ana guessed with a soft murmur, shivering slightly at the touch of his warm breath over her bare skin.

"Yeah, but I don't act like a brat," AJ inhaled the soft smell of her rose shampoo and J.Lo Glow perfume from the night before.

"Unless you don't get what you want," Ana countered, closing her eyes for a moment in attempts to steady herself, though she found herself drifting within the spicy scent of his cologne.

"Even then..." He trailed off, entwining his fingers through her curls.

"Are you sure?" she questioned, turning her head so her lips were at his ear. Her soft breaths tickled him to the point where the hairs on the back of his neck began to rise. Her lips stayed close to his ear and she had to resist the temptation to nibble at his lobe. "...Even when you want something so bad you can taste it?"

"I..." AJ trailed off, his body aching for something. Anything.

"When you know that it's something so sweet that Heaven itself would pale in comparison? When you want it so desperately that you feel like you'd die without it?" she continued to tease, her voice dropping into a soft, silky whisper.

"Ana..." he whispered, bracing his hands on either side of her against the counter. The temptation to crush his lips against hers was almost too great.

"Yeah?" Ana questioned sweetly, pulling her lips away from his ear so she could fold the finished omelet. Reaching for the nearby plate, she easily flipped it upon the plate with the bacon and sausage. Though, within a moment, she found the plate thrust onto the counter as she was turned in AJ's hold. Suddenly, she realized just how close he was as his hips pressed against hers. The telltale hardness of him grew against her and her indigo eyes widened with realization.

"I have dreamed about you since the night we met. I can't forget your breath on my skin... your voice..." He trailed his fingers over her plump lips. "Your eyes... your lips..."

"We just met--"

"Yeah, we just met. And?"

"So you couldn't have been dreaming of me that often," she attempted to argue, fighting to bite down on her bottom lip where his thumb continued to rest, knowing she would just as easily draw it into her mouth for a nibble.

"Never heard of daydreams?"

Ana took a sharp breath into the deepest recesses of her lungs, causing her chest to rise up, brushing against him. The mere touch sent a catclysm of electricity jolting through her body. She had never felt so alive in her entire existance, but still unsure of how to act. "A-fucking-parently not--"

He silenced her curse with a gentle but deep, yearning kiss and prayed she wouldn't push him away.

The descent of the man's lips over hers had frozen Ana in a state of shock. The rush of emotions that flooded over her caged heart was unlike anything she had ever experienced. The intensity of wanting was unlike no other. The need to have him close and desire to never let him leave. She could even feel how desperate he was within the softness of his lips. And, damnit, the sweetness of his taste was addicting. Weakening, she found herself giving into the kiss. Her lips yielded beneath his, allowing his tongue to slip within her mouth with a tenative coaxing. Soon, she weakly allowed their tongues to tangle. Drawing her arms upward, she tangled her fingers within his thick locks, pulling him closer. The yearning for something more struck deeper and finally she grasped the back of his t-shirt collar, pulling him away. Terrified. She was terrified. Gasping sharply, she held a hand up to prevent him from stepping closer. "Don't ever do that again."

Dazed, AJ's brow wrinkled in confusion. "But I thought--"

"Just... Jesus..." Pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger, Ana attempted to ward off the brewing migraine. Her entire body shuddered with fear at what she had just felt and revulsion into allowing herself the chance. "Enjoy your breakfast, okay? And just let yourself out when you're done. I need a shower."

"Ana--"

"Eat. You look like you haven't in a couple of days," she pushed by him and ran upstairs, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

"What the fuck just happened?" AJ murmured to himself, rubbing the back of his neck in bewilderment.

Sighing heavily, he tried eating the omlette she made for him but couldn't swallow much of it. He wrote her a quick note before slipping on his shoes, grabbing the car keys and walking out of the house.

Ana,
I don't know what just happened, and I'm sorry if I crossed any lines. Sometimes, when my heart tells me to do one thing and my brain another... I end up going with my heart. I hope we can still develop a friendship. Please call me when you have a chance.

AJ

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Are you with me?"

Following the sound of Howie's voice, Stephanie was startled to find him so close when she finally dragged herself out of her thoughts. The sound of the waves crashing against the shoreline reminded her that Howie had offered to take her out for a romantic lunch. He had made a picnic lunch and went to a significant amount of effort to find the perfect flannel blanket and largest beach umbrella. It was a perfect afternoon, but her worries had gotten the best of her. It had been several days since the apparant disaster between AJ and Ana. Stephanie had found the note when she returned from Howie's house the next day. But Ana refused to speak about it. Instead, she picked up several extra shifts at the hospital, practically working herself to death... "I'm so sorry, Howie."

"It's okay... I know that this classical beach romance is overplayed, but, I figured--"

"No, it's not that. This lunch is absolutely perfect. But my thoughts are elsewhere and that's not fair to you," Stephanie sighed, running a hand through her newly cut locks. The front layers framed her face while the back was short and styled into messy spikes.

"Well... Where exactly are your thoughts?" Howie asked, offering her the chance to share whatever had turned her blue-gray eyes into the color of the darkest slate. He hated seeing her so gloomy, which was unusual. It caused his heart to feel a familiar ache that he hoped she had erased.

"It's just... Ana and AJ..." she chewed on her thumbnail. "I know it's not our business, but--"

"But you're worried," Howie finished with a soft, knowing smile. Shifting slightly, he reached into the picnic basket to retrieve some fresh strawberries he had dipped into chocolate. Offering her the container, he then pulled her so she rested comfortably between his legs. Then, he retrieved the container, holding it so she could eat.

"Yeah. I think I've seen her maybe ten minutes in the past few days," Stephanie leaned back against his strong chest, nibbling on the sweet concoction.

"Why so little?"

"When she runs into any kind of problem... personal problems, actually; she buries herself into work until she's almost burned out. She has maybe an hour inbetween shifts to either eat, sleep or shower."

"She works herself to death?" Howie questioned, making sure that he understood.

"Yeah. And she won't talk about what happened, so I get even more worried..."

"Aje is the same way right now... Well... Sort of... He just told me that he somehow 'fucked up big time.' But he won't tell me how he did it. He just keeps muttering about how pitiful he is... And he can't concentrate on work right now. He just spaces. I've never seen him so befuddled over a woman before..."

"I feel so guilty. Here I am, all happy and lovey with you... and they're... lonely..."

"You have no reason to feel guilty," Howie chided lightly, lifting up another strawberry for her to feast upon. "You're allowed to be happy, Stephanie."

"I know, but--"

"Making yourself miserable isn't going to help Ana feel better. She's going to need you when she crashes, which is going to be soon... She'll probably work so much she'll make herself sick or something... Besides, you're a gorgeous woman who deserves to be loved."

"And you're saying that Ana isn't?"

"No, not at all. But you've made the choice you want to be loved. Ana hasn't. And she needs to make that choice on her own."

"She wants to be loved. I know she wants to be loved. But she just can't let herself be loved, because of what happened to her... She's terrified, Howie. When I see her for those ten minutes... God, her eyes... It scares me to see her so broken and terrified... She's always been so strong--"

"On the outside. I don't think she's strong on the inside. It's like a mask... you and I have worn them over the years, and so has she. I know it's scary, but she needs to realize that love is about taking a chance. But no one can make her see that."

"I know, but..." Stephanie released a heavy sigh. "If AJ did anything to... He wouldn't have the gall to push her into... I'll kill him, Howie. I swear."

"Hey, hey, hey. I've known him for over ten years. He would never make a woman do anything she doesn't want to do."

Nodding, Stephanie retrieved a strawberry and held it to Howie's lips. "I know... I just... I know AJ wouldn't hurt her... But she's so vulnerable..."

"I know," he took a bite and some juice dribbled down his chin. "But we have to let them work this out--"

"Why can't we help them along?" Stephanie interupted with a pout, leaning back to cup her hands against his face.

"Baby..." Howie groaned with a chuckle. "They're adults."

"Ana's my little girl," Stephanie continued to argue, shifting slightly so she could face him. Leaning forward, she kissed away the remaining juice. "Please, Honey..."

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"Not when Ana's hurting so bad."

"Well... alright... but if this blows up in your face, I am hiding from the potential bloodshed."

"You'd let me in the line of fire? And how the Hell will it blow up in my face?!"

"I don't know, I'm just covering my ass!" Howie grinned, running his hands down her sides.

"Our friends are miserable and you're cracking jokes!" Stephanie admonished with a gasp of a giggle. Bolting into an upright position, she wrapped her arms about his neck, pressing warm kisses to his face in hopes that he'd stop the tickles. "They need us, Baby, and I wish I could tell AJ about Ana's past... What if he gets fed up and just quits?"

"Honestly, I don't think he's going to give up. I haven't seen him persue anyone like this since... well... ever," He relinquished his tickles for a moment, placing his hands on her hips.

"Well, he sure as Hell has stayed away for long enough--"

"And so has she. Just give them a little more time... you'll think of a plan by then."

"I want one now."

"Have you thought of a plan yet?"

"Well... no..."

"Then you're going to have to give yourself a little more time, which means giving them more time. Maybe she'll catch some kind of wicked flu and Aje can take care of her. I'll sweep you off on some romantic vacation so he'll be the only one left..."

"Oh, yeah? What kind of romantic vacation?" Her eyes began to twinkle.

"A very romantic vacation?"

"Where would we go?"

"Some private beach bungaloo. No one else around us for miles."

"Mmm... all alone... with no interruptions? That would mean..."

"No Brian or Nick."

"Talk about paradise!"

"You're way too hard on them!" Howie chuckled, pulling her close so he could steal a few kisses. "Besides, we could get a little kid with the sniffles, have him sneeze on Ana, then lock them away in the other bungaloo!"

"You're something else!" Stephanie giggled, burying her face into the crook of his neck for a moment.

"You wanted a plan right now," he chuckled, wrapping his arms about her and squeezing her.

"Yeah, but where are we going to get a kid with the sniffles?"

"Ebay?"

"Howie!"

"It was a suggestion!"

"If anything, I would want to have kids WITH you--"

"What?!"

"What'd I do?!" She jumped at his outburst.

"You want to have kids with me?" Howie questioned, making sure that he had understood her. Their relationship was just starting to blossom, so he wanted to be assured that he had heard correctly.

"Well, yeah. Not right NOW, but in the future... why not?" Stephanie looked down at her hands, chewing on the thumbnail yet again.

"I just didn't think that you were thinking about it," Howie fumbled to explain, blushing at his awkward outburst. Reaching for her hand, he pulled her thumb away from her mouth. "Don't ruin your nails."

"It was dumb to talk about it so soon--"

"I'm not saying that it was dumb to talk about it so soon," Howie immediately interupted, refusing to allow her to think it was an absurd notion. The statement had merely caught him off guard, just as it had caught many men off guard in the history of the universe. Becoming a father was a monumental decision and not many men could live up to the golden icon their father's had originally created. Or, at least, that's what they feared.

"Then what are you saying?" She kept her gaze on her hands.

"I'm saying that it was a surprise to hear you mention it. Don't slap me, but it's something that a fan would scream out at a concert... Y'know... To one of the other guys..."

"I know," she sighed, biting on her bottom lip since he wouldn't let her bite her thumbnail.

"Don't put teeth marks in my favorite part of your body," Howie immediately chided once more, reaching out to cup her face within her hands. "It's a little soon to bring children into the world, isn't it? Especially when I want to be greedy and keep you all to myself."

"It is too early. I don't want them right now, I just think about having them someday," Stephanie offered a shy smile.

"I think about having them someday, too, I'm not getting any younger," Howie teased lightly. "I'll be pushing into my forties pretty quick... After Kevin, of course."

"You're not that old," Stephanie laughed softly, pushing on his shoulder.

"Older than you!" Howie exclaimed. "Almost robbing the cradle when it comes to taking you out on romantic dates."

"What?!" Stephanie laughed harder, rolling her sparkling blue-gray eyes. "I am not that much younger, Mr. Dorough."

"Till the paparazzi mentions that I was popping zits in a mirror while my girlfriend was in diapers so many years ago," Howie continued to jib playfully.

"Howard Dwaine!" she exclaimed, pushing him down onto the sand and climbing onto his hips.

"It's true!" he chuckled, hardly bothered by the way she tackled him within the heated sand. Instead, he caught her wrists to keep her from lashing out with a fevor of tickles, easily pulling her down for a kiss.

"Hush now," she scolded lightly, keeping their lips mere inches apart.

"Okay, okay," he relented, craning his neck upward to catch her lips once more, nipping playfully on her bottom lip.

"Mmm... I'm going to go crazy when you guys go back on tour," she pouted.

"Me too," he promised with a soft sigh.

"How long do I have you until that happens?"

"About three weeks. Give or take... Why?"

"I was just curious," she braced her arms on each side of his shoulders, leaning down to kiss him again.

"Just don't start counting down the days and getting depressed, Gorgeous. Let me do that, okay?"

"Okay..." she was silent for a moment. "Why can't y'all do your concerts via the Internet and stay here in Florida?"

"Because fans would be absolutely devastated if they didn't have the opportunity to fight over Nick's sweat soaked towel that he flings into the audience like it's gold..."

"Ew..." she wrinkled her nose in distaste. "I love you, baby, but I would never fight over something soaked in your sweat."

"You wouldn't even try to buy it on Ebay?" he questioned with a dramatic gasp.

"Do you know how bad guy's sweat smells?"

"...I would hope that I do... I'm the one that gets into a group hug with four other sweating men about every night..."

"Then no, I would not try to buy it on eBay," Stephanie laughed at the look of horror on his face as he remembered past experiences.

"Besides, you might be ready to get rid of me. Especially when the guys find out from AJ that I'm dating again..."

"What do you mean?"

"They'll be on you like white on rice!"

"What? No way! Not the four men I met at the concert!"

"They're a friendly bunch when they're not water-logged, parched, and exhausted..."

"Howie," she laughed, kissing him again. "I love you and only you. No matter who comes along."

Returning the kiss and pushing back the blonde locks that had fallen into his lover's face, Howie's dark chocolate eyes widened in realization. "I didn't mean they were going to hit on you! Well, I mean, they might, but Kevin will squash that! I just... I meant that our alone time would vanish!"

"But you said-- Ohhh..." Her own eyes lightened with understanding.

"Brian and Kevin are too whipped by Leigh and Kris to even think about looking at another woman! And Nick... Well, Nick will try to ruffle feathers, but I'm guessing he'd be more apt to try for Ana because AJ is into her... Seems they have this rivalary. AJ stole one of his women in Prague... It was a mess..."

"A mess that I'm glad I didn't see," Stephanie shook her head with a chuckle. "Life won't be boring from now on?"

"God no," Howie breathed, bringing her down for another adoring kiss. "...Besides, like I would ever let another man put a hand on you..."

"Yeah?" She smiled, the sun breaking through and making blonde locks glow.

"Yes," Howie insisted. "You're my Goddess. Mine and mine only."

"And you're mine only. Always."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ana slipped into the quiet house, careful not to make a sound. She had just gotten done with a double shift and had a couple of hours before she had to go back for a colleague. Enough time to take a shower and a quick nap. Stephanie's car was outside and she was bound and determined to avoid the older woman until it was time to leave.

Knowing that their stairs moaned terribly whenever any weight was applied to them, Ana moved toward the back of the house. She had set up a small office in what was supposed to be another bedroom downstairs. She could rest on the floor amongst her scattered nursing articles. It would be uncomfortable, but better than the broken loveseat she had pushed in. So, sliding off her scuffed sneakers, she pressed them to her chest and crept toward the back.

It's not that she wanted to hurt Stephanie's feelings, but Ana was nowhere near ready to talk about what happened with AJ. Nor did she ever want to talk about it. She just had to push it away and forget it. She was good at it. Stephanie was good at digging things up.

The memories of certain emotions would be buried deep within the crevices of her blackened heart. If given enough time, she could surpress even the most frightening memories. Digging them deep into her unconscious where, if she was lucky, even her dreams could not touch. Though, given the past week, she was certain that she was not so lucky. Whatever was pure and good in AJ's kiss had been tainted by her past. Thick coils of black swirled around the sincerity till it was choked in an enigma of perversion.

"Ana!"

Lurching forward in shock at the explosion of sound evading her thoughts, Ana's shoes tumbled from her hands and created a road block. Stumbling in hopes to regain some kind of balance, she yelped as her ankle twisted, causing her to crumple to the floor. "Jesus Christ, Stephanie!"

"Well excuse me for being surprised! I haven't seen you in days!" Stephanie rushed down the stairs.

"I was working!" Ana insisted with a hard groan, reaching to cup her injured ankle.

"Ana, two days have passed where you have never gone home!"

"It's a huge chunk of change when you consider how much over-time I got! Have you seen how fucking shitty our couch is?!"

"If you wanted us to get a new couch, I could have picked up more overtime and pitch in to get one! You don't have to work yourself into the ground."

"You're the one that put me into the ground, Stephanie," Ana gritted, feeling a significant tightening within her injured ankle. Looking down, she noticed the way her sock began to cut into the flesh above her grossly swollen ankle. "Would you get me a pair of scissors or something?"

"Yeah," Stephanie jogged into the kitchen and grabbed the cooking scissors. "How did I put you into the ground?"

"I'm sitting here on the fucking ground, ain't I?" Ana quipped sarcastically.

"You don't need to snap at me," Stephanie whispered, handing her the scissors.

"I'm not--" Ana abruptly ended her sentence before she could continue with the lie. It was useless to pretend that she wasn't being nasty. Her mood had significantly altered. So, instead, she said nothing and used the scissors to cut away at the stretched sock. "God..."

"Do I need to take you to Urgent Care?"

"I was supposed to be back for another shift at the hospital, but that's fucking unlikely, ain't it?" Ana grumbled, but mostly to herself as she assessed the damage. Her ankle had swelled at least three times over and was badly discolored. A vast array of blues, purples, and blacks...

"Maybe if you hadn't been sneaking around the house trying to avoid me, this wouldn't have happened," Stephanie went and grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer.

"Maybe you did it on purpose..."

"Yeah, I made you sprain your ankle," Stephanie rolled her eyes and handed her the ice pack.

"It could be broken," Ana suggested with a firm scowl, taking the ice pack and towel from her friend. Wrapping it firmly within the towel, she then eased it onto her ankle, hissing softly with annoyance at the fire that exploded from the tips of her toes and worked upward.

"Am I taking you to the hospital?"

"I can take myself--"

"How are you going to drive? It's your right foot!"

"I can do it--"

"You can be so damn stubborn, Anastacia!" Stephanie growled with disbelief, looking down at her broken friend. The days of constant working had certainly taken a toll upon her friend's body. Heavy bags settled beneath her murky turquoise eyes. There was no playfulness left within her. Just an empty shell void of anything but hate. No doubt the ankle was broken. And it would be her own fault. "Fine! Go by yourself! Drive!"

"You probably have another date with Howie anyway, right?" Ana guessed, no hint of detest nor excitement. Instead, she carefully lifted her injured ankle and started to scoot her backside across the carpet.

"No, not tonight. He and the guys are getting ready for the upcoming tour. I was hanging out here hoping I could actually see my best friend and maybe spend some time with her, since she's bee non-existant for how many days?"

"Only a few," Ana grunted, clawing at the backside of their lumpy couch to pull herself up.

"Bullshit," Stephanie watched her try and put some weight on her ankle. "Ana, this is stupid! Just let me drive you to the hospital!"

After a significant period of silence, Ana offered what was merely a small nod. She hadn't the strength nor the conviction to continue the foolishness of such a petty fight. Instead, she allowed Stephanie to wrap her arms about her, helping her toward the car with a steady hop. Concentrating on simply moving, she bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep the tears from streaking across her pale cheeks.

"Why have you really been working so much, anyway?" Stephanie asked as she buckled Ana into the passenger seat.

"Because we need the money," Ana answered simply, averting her gaze to the window, certain something was lurking about their home. Some man...

"The bills get paid, we have food and rainy day money. So try again," Stephanie pulled out of the driveway and sped down the street.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ana--"

"For once, Stephanie, can't you just listen to what I'm saying?"

"Because you would never let me say that to you."

"It's not a monkey see, monkey do kind of thing."

"I care about you. God forbid."

"I know you care about me, okay?" Ana insisted, holding a hand to her face to conceal the tears that she would inevitably blame on the injury. Sniffing hard, she muffled a cough to stifle a sob burning at her throat. "The only person in this whole fucking world that gives a shit about me. I get it. But, for once, can you let me forget how insignificant I am in this universe?"

"But you're not insignificant!"

"Stephanie--"

"You're not."

"If I died tomorrow, no one would shed a fucking tear and you know it."

"That's a bunch of fucking bullshit, Anastacia Grace."

"I don't want to fight--"

"You do so much for people everyday at the hospital. You saved me from a doomed relationship. Michael would have killed me, and you know that. You do everything for everyone and nothing for yourself."

"It's my job," Ana whispered softly, rubbing away her tears.

"You have made it your life. And it isn't healthy."

"I don't have anything else."

"You have me. You could have something else as well."

"A new damn couch."

"Ana..."

"I'm serious! The damn thing is a back injury waiting to happen!"

"Then we'll get a new one tomorrow. But there's someone else."

"For the thousandth time, I am not dating the new intern on the floor, he's nothing but a walking STD--"

"Not Erik!"

"Then who the Hell are you talking--"

"AJ."

"No."

"Why? I know your past--"

"Cocci."

"Just hear me out. I know your past has made you scared of men... but not all of them are like your dad."

"I'm not scared of men--"

"Then what is it?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Ana murmured, insisting on taking the familiar route that protected her. She hadn't the strength to delve deep into her emotions, convinced that doing so would destroy her. She had faced so much and hid it all just the same...

"You're going to end up breaking down and land yourself in the psych ward if you continue to push everything away."

"Just come visit me on Jell-O day."

"Goddamnit, Ana..."

AJ slowly opened his eyes, greeted with dark skies as he laid in his large, empty bed inside the large, empty house. He had spent all day with the guys, working on their upcoming tour. His heart wasn't into it, but he put on his famous front and thought everyone bought it. At least, he hoped everyone had bought it.

He had been his usual, charming self. Hadn't he? He had sung his solos in perfect harmony... Without much enthusiasm. Had flirted carelessly with all the female backup dancers... Though he grimaced and ended up walking away when a hand was slipped into his pants... Had teased Nick endlessly for his constant dancing blunders... Though he had made far more mistakes and been ruthless in his critique. It seemed like a typical day...

When he came home, the large space in his house seemed to match the feeling in his heart. Since that day... everything seemed to be pointless. He had a chance to be happy and he blew it. Not that he was used to it, but this was different. She was different. And now her cell phone goes right to voicemail when he tries to call.

He had left messages when the voicemail triggered. An endless amount of messages that apologized for behaving like such a beast. But all the signs were there. She was begging to be kissed. The way she kept her lips so close to his ear, whispering with a seductive purr that sent a blaze throughout his body. She had been pleading for him to just do it. And she hadn't resisted... At first... What the fuck had he done wrong?

"I may as well become the crazy old man kids talk about on Halloween," AJ grumbled, sitting up in time to see rain pelt the large bay window.

Leaving her home that day had seemed to be the roughest day of his life. The whirlwind of emotions that flooded his system had sent him crashing faster than the hardest and purest of lethal drug cocktails he had been known for. It felt as if her fist had landed squarely in his stomach, sending a flood of tears to his muddy brown eyes. He couldn't help but worry that he was missing out on something terrific. Something so fantastic that Heaven itself wept at the loss... Demonstraited by the rainfall.

Rubbing the grainy feeling out of his eyes, he stood up and walked to the window, which allowed him to climb out onto a small balcony. He opened the window and rain began to soak his clothes.

When the iciness of the rain soaked through his t-shirt, he was somewhat thankful that he felt the chill. At least it was a reminder that he was still among the living. After all, it had been Howie that commented about him being among the walking dead. But, comforted somewhat by the feeling of something colder than his heart, he crept onto the balcony to wait amongst the downpour. Never had he felt so alone.

"If only I could have showed her that... God..." He closed his eyes, feeling the drops beat down on his pale skin. It seemed like his entire soul echoed with an ache that wouldn't go away.

He had been so comfortable with her the night before. Whatever had caused her initial dislike of him had dissipated when he reacted to the bastard at the bar. She had tended to the cuts on his hand so tenderly, making sure to blow softly when the stinging cleaning solution had been applied. Then, when he expected to be hurried out the door, she offered him a chance to watch a movie. Then, slowly, she had faded into a sleep. They had started out on opposite ends of the couch, but, when she drifted, she had nestled her head in his lap. What he wouldn't have given to have that back.

He looked down from the balcony. The drop was easily twenty feet; high enough to make sure-- he quickly tried to shake away the thought but it kept coming back. How easy would it be to jump and make the loneliness go away?

Since sobering up, everyone in his extended network of friends had assumed that he was healthy again. Both physically and mentally. That he felt thankful to be given another chance at life and had found a way to fight the depression lurking deep within him. But becoming sober had merely taken away the crutch that allowed him to drift from the depression. Now he walked on his own with the full brunt of the pain. He thought music would channel his energy, but now everything seemed to unravel.

"You're going to catch your death out here..."

Blankly looking up, AJ noticed Howie standing at the open window. His curtains looked to be soaked with the heavy storm, but it didn't seem very significant in terms of his life. He couldn't even muster the anger to berate Howie for stealing into his house without a proper invitation, mostly because he welcomed the intervention... Somewhat...

"Aje, get inside."

"Why did you come here?" AJ asked as Howie helped him climb through the window. A puddle of water gathered at his feet as he began to shiver.

"Intuition, I guess," Howie answered simply, reaching behind his young friend to close the window. Moving him into the middle of the large bedroom, he then quickly trotted toward the master bathroom to retrieve several towels. Draping them upon the shivering AJ, Howie sighed softly, "You okay?"

"I-I've been b-b-b-better," he chattered, wrapping the towels tightly around him.

"What in God's name were you doing outside in that downpour?" Howie questioned, though he wasn't certain that AJ would have an answer. Gently guiding the man toward the bathroom, he then moved to collect some dry garments of clothing. He had looked somewhat haggared at rehersals that morning, but Howie had assumed it was because of another late night in front of the TV...

"Trying t-t-to... I don't k-know," AJ shrugged. Howie had a good thing going with Stephanie, he didn't need to worry about him.

"You do know," Howie disagreed, setting the clothing on the large bathroom counter.

"D, it's n-nothing--"

"Aje, don't pull that with me... Kevin maybe, but not me..."

"I fucked it all up," he whispered, drying himself off.

"Rehersing wasn't that terrible, J."

"It's not about rehearsal."

"Then you want to talk about Ana?"

"No... yes..."

"Okay..." Howie trailed, watching AJ continue to shiver quite terribly. Motioning toward the clothing, Howie then stepped out of the bathroom. "Why don't you get changed? I'll wait out here and then we can talk."

"Alright," AJ said between chattered teeth as he walked into the bathroom. He peeled off his soaked clothes and changed into the jeans and sweatshirt Howie had picked out for him. He came back out to see Howie sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Here," Howie called, tossing a thick flannel blanket that had been folded over the end of the bed. He recalled it was one of the blankets they had bought while touring across the country. AJ had seemed to catch his death in the colder climates, so pale and sickly, and there had been on particularly bad scare that landed the man in the hospital. Hooked to IV solutions and delierious, he had been so homesick and lonely. Howie had made sure to find the softest blanket to bring his friend, spending the entire night at his side till the fever broke. Tough times seemed to follow both men frequently and now as Howie turned the corner to a brighter path, AJ's seemed to darken. Again.

"Thanks," AJ wrapped the blanket around his thin frame, the fabric trembling with his shivering. He sat down on the black leather couch, directly across from Howie. "Why did you know to come here?"

"Because I'm your best friend," Howie answered simply, as if that spoke volumes though it was barely an explanation. But, it was the truth. He had noticed the drastic decline in AJ's demeanor throughout the passing week. His inability to concentrate through practice had been quite suspect, but the darkness of AJ's cocoa eyes had given him away. It was a loneliness that Howie knew quite fondly. A dark, pitiful depression that warranted an intervention. Like those days when AJ had drove himself to a near death.

"Yeah..." AJ sighed heavily as the shivers began to subside. During the dark times of his deadly addictions, Howie had been the speck of light that kept hope burning dimly inside his soul. He had gone to rehab for everyone, but especially for Howie. It was because of his best friend that he was even alive. "Did Stephanie tell you what happened?"

"She told me that something happened, but couldn't tell me any more than that. Ana's been running herself ragged with tons of overtime at the hospital. Steph said that she's literally working herself to death," Howie explained softly, curious to know what had happened though he didn't want to pry.

"Because of me," AJ muttered, feeling his heart become even heavier with the news. If only he hadn't crossed the line.

"Because of you?"

"I fucked up big time."

"I know, you told me that--"

"And it's true. I fucked up. Bad."

"But how could making a simple mistake cause so much chaos?"

"It wasn't a simple mistake, D," AJ groaned, not even wanting to relive the nightmare through words. Sinking deeper within the layers of blanket, he tucked himself into a protective ball. It was hard enough when his subconcious lureed him into the memory, electrifying the heinousness of the situation. And now, what had once been an innocent kiss now looked, in his mind's eye, like a outlandish physical assault.

"You know the difference between right and wrong when it comes to women," Howie disagreed with a frown.

"A-fucking-parently not," AJ snorted quite loudly, pounding the heel of his hands against his throbbing head. Rehab had been good for him. That much was true. But the depression remained. Medicine could only do so much. And now, when it looked like he might have the slighest chance to be happy, he found himself fucking up any possibility of seeing that become a reality.

"Not to be blunt, but... what the Hell are you talking about? What exactly happened?" Howie finally asked. Going around the question was just making his head spin.

"Ana's a great chick, y'know? I mean... Fuck... I haven't spent a lot of time with her, but I know enough about her. I know that she's funny as Hell. She loves to make people laugh and she has this way of peeking at you when she says something funny, hoping that she'll see you smile. And when you do, her blue-green eyes turn this gorgeous shade of sapphire... And she cares so much about everyone and... Damn is she sarcastic. She'll rip you a new asshole if you ain't careful, but then she's just so sweet... I... I've never met a woman like her before, y'know?"

"Yeah, I think I know what you mean," Howie nodded in understanding. He felt the same way about Stephanie. "That's why Steph thought you two would be good together."

"Well... You'd think that she might have mentioned that to Ana before I tried to score--"

"You tried to what?" Howie supressed a groan.

"To score a kiss!" AJ exclaimed hurriedly, shooting Howie a hateful glare for thinking less of him. "All the signals were there. I swear to fucking God above. She had fallen asleep watching movies with me the night before, so I carried her upstairs and put her to bed. I could have jumped in beside her and gave her some smartass comment in the morning about her wanting me there, but I didn't want to play games with her. She deserved better. So, I went downstairs and slept on the shitty couch of theirs--"

"Okay..." Howie trailed vaguely, allowing AJ a small oportunity to string together a colorful expression of curses. "I still don't understand--"

"It happened in the morning, damnit! She didn't realize I spent the night and almost fucking killed me. Then she gave me a back massage and offered to cook me breakfast. Like I'm going to turn down a meal. So, I'm helping her and our conversation just takes this erotic turn and... Fuck... All the signals were there when I went to kiss her. She was standing in front of me and her lips were against my ear. She was even purring like some kind of sex kitten. She wanted to be kissed. I swear to God she did and she was so eager at first. She pushed back against me and then suddenly she freezes!"

"I believe you, Aje. If a woman isn't interested, you don't persue anything. Especially a kiss or whatever else..." Howie trailed off, biting the inside of his cheek for a moment. He had a good idea why Ana became so frightened. "What happened after that?"

"She told me to never do that again and said she needed a shower. Told me to finish breakfast because I looked like I hadn't ate in years and ran away. I wanted to stay... Wait for her to come back down... But I knew it was wrong... I wrote a note and left..." AJ answered, crumpling with the completion of the story. Folding his face into his hands, he released a weary sigh. "I liked her a lot. But, I don't deserve anything that good, huh?"

"What? Of course you deserve a good woman. You're a good man, even if this situation happened," Howie disagreed, standing up and sitting back down next to AJ. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Maybe she had a bad relationship in the past and isn't ready for something like that."

"She wouldn't let a guy fuck around with her like that, D..." AJ disagreed with a furious shake of his head. "She's too strong."

"She was scared to death and the bastard was someone who had a lot of power over her--"

"What bastard? Who are you talking about? Who hurt her?"

Holding his breath, it wasn't till AJ's fingers crushed into his upper arm with a demanding grunt that Howie realized he had even mentioned Ana's past. Yanking his arm away from the painful sting, he lurched upward and bit down on his tongue to keep from cursing. He had swore to Stephanie that he wouldn't tell AJ about Ana's father and yet he had let it slip so easily. "Jesus, Aje, I can't--"

"Howie, what happened to her? I deserve to know! I've been killing myself over this since that morning..." AJ trailed off and glanced back at Howie. "Tell me. Please."

"Aje..." Howie strained, moving into the bathroom to collect the dirty clothing. AJ was hardly known for being immaculate, which is why he had a maid tend to his house weekly. Though, surveying the house upon entering, Howie decided that AJ must have fired the maid several months ago. No man could make such a mess in a week. "I promise Stephanie that I wouldn't say anything to you. Hell, she didn't even know till a few weeks ago..."

"But I should have been told! This whole damn thing could have been prevented," AJ followed him, letting the blanket fall onto the plush carpet. "Damnit, D, tell me!"

"I don't even know the whole story!"

"You know SOMETHING!"

Straightening with every intention of taking the now heavily loaded basket of clothing to the washroom, Howie stiffened when AJ blocked his path. The younger man stood in the doorway and, despite his lithe stature, looked quite intimidating by bracing himself. His chest puffed outward and such a angry defiance smoldered within his dark eyes. "...What good is it going to do you, J?"

"It doesn't matter. I should have been told before I tried persuing anything with Ana. It was fucking unfair and you know it, D."

"I didn't even know about it until afterwards."

"You're going to tell me."

"I am not--"

"I DESERVE TO KNOW!"

Holding his breath when AJ's voice radiated from the bathroom marble, electrifying the furiousness of his voice, Howie could feel his heart flutter. His entire body tensed at the desperate tone to AJ's voice and he dropped the basket of clothing. "She was hurt, AJ... When she was a teenager... Probably before that too... By someone very close to her."

"Who hurt her?" AJ's voice was suddenly calm and even, though his eyes gave away to the turmoil of emotions.

"I can't--"

"Who hurt her, D?"

"Her father," Howie whispered.

"Her... her... FATHER?"

"I'm sorry, Aje, I wish I could have told you... But, I didn't know... Not even... Steph had just mentioned that Ana didn't date much and she deserved a good guy. I thought... God, I'm so sorry, Aje... I never meant to get you involved in such a mess--"

"I'm going to prove to her I'm not like him."

"...What?"

"I'm not giving up. She's the one and I'm not going to let her slip away."

Wrinkling his brow in confusion at the determination in AJ's voice, he was flabbergasted to find AJ stomping from the room. Stepping over the laundry basket, Howie stumbled somewhat, but managed to catch AJ's upper arm. "J... Wait... You can't tell her that you know... God, she doesn't even know that I know. And I'm sure if she knew, then Stephanie would be banished from her life completely--"

"I'm not going to tell her I know. I may be an idiot, but not that much of one," AJ pulled his arm away.

"I know you're not an idiot, J. It's just a delicate situation and-- Did you just say that she's the one? As in..." At a loss for words, Howie made sure to put emphasis on his previous words. "The one?"

"Yes. The one. I thought a lot of girls in the past were the one, but... I know it's Ana."

"...You were always the type of person to chose the most difficult path in life..."

"And it led me to Ana."

"Steph kept insisting that you two were going to fall hopelessly in love. She wants to come up with some kind of grand plan to get you two together," Howie confided, watching as AJ went on a furious cleaning streak. It was as if the devastating news had renewed his passion for life. Though, Howie feared the anger brewing in AJ's heart could be dangerous.

"I knew I liked her," AJ gave a soft chuckle. "Has she thought of anything yet?"

"Not really... I wanted to have a kid sneeze on her to give her a terrible case of the flu. Then I could take Stephanie on some romantic vacation and you could tend to Ana... Of course, I think that's more for me and her than you and Ana..."

"Yeah, and I don't want to get the flu. But nice try," AJ stopped cleaning and glanced at his best friend. "A romantic vacation? It's getting pretty serious?"

"I'm too old to take it slow," Howie answered with a small smile, though he nodded nonetheless. Stephanie was such a breath of fresh air in his life. He felt as if he could do nothing wrong whenever he was in her presense. And, as the days waned, he found himself falling helplessly into her.

"I'm happy for you," AJ smiled as well, which soon turned into a smirk. "But y'know... you are in close running with Kev... pretty soon you'll need a walker to catch up with Steph."

"I'll just borrow your vast arrays of canes from all your injuries--"

"Stop before you start, old man."

"I'm not the idiot that got his foot ran over by a van--"

"I was trying to avoid rabid fans!"

"You're in a better mood now."

"I know. Thanks, D."

"I don't know where Ana is right now, to be honest. I just know that she's been sleeping at the hospital and then sometimes she'll come home for a few minutes... I wish I could give you an exact location, but I'm sure you've got plans brewing in your head already. You don't need my help... Though, you should know that what you did wasn't wrong. She's just terrified..."

"I'll make everything right. I'll show her I'm nothing like that bastard."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Easing herself carefully from the seat of Stephanie's vehicle, Ana made sure to wedge the crutches underneath her arms before pushing herself into a standing position. Her right leg immediately barked with pain at the position change, the thick plaster cast weighing heavily upon the appendage. A broken ankle from tripping and falling in the house. It seemed absurd, but she had managed to fracture several bones in the ankle with the violent twist. Of course, the doctor had chided her for poor nutrition, which ultimately led to the weakening of her bones. But, when she stressed, she couldn't eat. And, she seemed to be constantly under the weight of stress. So, quietly, she moved toward the house with every intention of taking her pain medcation and falling into a pit of darkness.

Stephanie quickly got out of the car, holding in a sigh as she kept up with Ana; medication in hand along with a 24-ounce bottle of Pepsi. "Do you want me to grab an ice pack before we head upstairs to your room, CT?"

"That'd be fine," Ana answered softly, fumbling with her keys before managing to push the door open. Of course, her crutches loosened beneath her hold and she toppled into the house. Cursing loudly at the fiery throb of pain starting from the tips of her toes and moving up through her body. Nothing ever seemed to work out for her. It hurt so badly to know she was such a pitiful failure. But, she said nothing of her horrible luck, crawling toward the stairs and abandoning her crutches.

"CT, wait!" Stephanie grabbed the crutches and rushed to the younger woman's side. "Sweetie, you don't have to crawl up to your room. C'mon, I'll help you up."

Collapsing on the stairs, she shifted uncomfortably and used her fists to grind the tears from her eyes. "I absolutely hate my life."

"I know..." Stephanie sighed, kissing the side of Ana's face. "It'll get better. I promise."

"I won't be able to work till this damn cast comes off... I had to go on extended leave..."

"It's okay. I'll get some overtime in and we'll be fine--"

"I don't want you working overtime to make up for my mistakes. It's not fair to you. I mean, I'll have money coming in and I did all that extra overtime, it's just the fact that I'm going to be cooped up in this house for how many weeks and..." Ana let her thoughts trail to an oblivious conclusion, but she knew the rest. Staying home meant that she would be unable to run away. That she would have to face the pain that she fought so hard to erase.

"And?"

"I don't want you to feel obligated to take care of me," Ana answered quietly, reaching for the crutches resting on Stephanie's legs. Pulling them under her arms, she forced herself upward and started the painful climb to her bedroom.

"I'm not obligated. I want to take care of you. That's what best friends do," Stephanie argued as she followed Ana up the stairs.

"It's my fuck-up, Cocci," Ana insisted with a hard groan, moving slowly into her bedroom. She noticed the clothing littering the floor and was careful to make her way toward the large bed. Collapsing onto the pillow top, she pulled away her sweatshirt and wriggled out of her jeans, leaving herself in a pair of boxers and a tank top. Then, she moved herself to the top of the bed, just wanting a long nap.

"You always take care of me when I fuck up. Why is this time so different?" Stephanie countered as she sat on the edge of the bed with medication, soda and ice pack in hand.

"Because... I've never... I'm not... I don't need help..."

"Ana, you can barely get around the house. Your ankle is too tender."

"I can manage," Ana promised, though she said nothing when Stephanie placed the items in her hands on the nearby nightstand and moved to collect a variety of pillows scattered on the bed. Propping up the ankle, Stephanie then placed the ice pack onto the broken ankle and tucked Ana into the covers. "...I'm not your daughter, y'know?"

"You're right. You're my sister. My best friend. And best friends take care of each other no matter what," Stephanie took out the recommended dose of pain killers and handed them to Ana along with her Pepsi.

"Thank you," Ana murmured softly, taking a long swallow of the carbonated beverage to wash down the large pills. Then, laying back amongst the pillows, she folded her arms over her face, just wanting to disappear. "You have a date with Howie tonight?"

"Nope. I'm going to stay here with you."

"You didn't cancel on him, did you? Because once these pain killers kick in, I'm going to be knocked out and you'll just be here to watch me sleep--"

"No, I didn't cancel any plans. He wanted to work on some songs and I like to give him space when he does."

"Such a good girlfriend," Ana crooned playfully.

"Yeah, you can hush now," Stephanie chuckled, making sure the cap was tightly secure on top of the soda bottle and the ice pack was still on top of Ana's cast. "Is there anything you want me to make for dinner? A meatloaf sandwich?"

"I'm not hungry," Ana declined, pulling up the covers that cocooned her to her neck. Satisfied that the blankets would provide some kind of warmth, she looked to Stephanie's crestfallen expression. "I'm just really tired..."

"You need to start eating again. That's why your break was so bad; you were almost malnourished."

"When I wake up from my nap. Okay?"

"Okay," Stephanie smiled softly, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "When you wake up, just holler."

"I will," Ana promised, offering a soft yawn while Stephanie slipped from the room. And, when the door closed, she considered drifting into a state of unconsciousness, but her phone came to life. Groaning, she blindly reached out for the phone, wondering if work had come up with some brilliant plan to let her work again.

Her heart almost seemed to stop when she saw the name on her caller ID. After what happened that one morning while making breakfast, she never thought she would hear from him again.

The ringing of the cell phone seemed to grow with impatience and it became apparent that AJ would not cease. It looked to be the same type of perserverence that sustained him when the incident first occured. He had filled her entire length of voice mail with apologies, but the calls had slowly waned. That is, until now. And, though she had been terrified by the kiss, she couldn't help but wonder... Hesitating for a moment, she flipped open the cell phone and pressed it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Ana?"

"AJ?"

"I'm so glad you answered. I thought I was going to have to leave another voicemail."

"You're the king of voicemail... That's for sure..."

"I just wanted to talk to you and say I--"

"You're sorry," Ana finished softly, knowing he had repeated those same words dozens of times as he contineud to call. She was exhausted to say the least and could withstand his apologies. He seemed truthful and she had perhaps overreacted. She was known for being a tease. Instigating men.

"I really am sorry. I got some signals from you, and I should have asked first," AJ ran a hand through his locks as he paced his living room.

"It's my fault," Ana assured, closing her eyes to concentrate on his voice. The low rasp had always enchanted her, especially when Stephanie tuned in to countless interviews. Even now, despite the drama she had caused, she still found herself falling for his voice. "I'm just a horrible tease. I know."

"I'm not the innocent one here," AJ disagreed. He wouldn't let her take all of the blame. "I crossed the border--"

"Because I kept egging you--"

"I should have asked first. I just wanted to say I was sorry and if we could still be friends."

"It's okay," Ana soothed softly. "Don't stress yourself out. It won't do you any good for when you go touring. Ain't this supposed to be your lay-back-hang-out-calm-down time?"

"Well, yeah... and I wanted to know if you could be a part of that time with me."

"...What do you mean?"

"You're a great person to hang out with. I don't think I laugh as much as when I'm with you. I thought maybe we could continue a friendship... that is, if you want to."

"AJ..." Ana trailed softly, awed by the hopefulness flodding his voice. "If things had been reversed, I doubt I would have been calling you... Of course, I can't really see you turning down any kind of sexual advance..."

"Are you calling me a horn dog?"

"No..." Ana trailed, though she couldn't help her smirk.

"Yeah, and I'll bet you're smirking right now," AJ chuckled. He could almost see it.

"Never..."

"You're definitely one of a kind, Ana Lord."

"Some days more than others," Ana agreed, continuining to smile when he laughed once more. She could feel the faint flutter of her heart at his laugh, knowing that she had brought him some kind of happiness. Though, she wasn't sure she had the strength to keep a friendship with him, knowing the sexual tension would always be present. Perhaps if he were lonely on the road, then he could call--

"So, what do you say? We could hit the batting cages, go surfing, bum around the mall and avoid rabid fans... anything you want. I would really like to be friends."

"You sound like such a teenager."

"Is that a yes?" AJ grinned.

"I..." Ana hesitated on answering, not knowing if she really wanted him to know that she had injured herself. Because then she would have to explain how the injury occured. It was because she worried over him. Feaering the implications of the kiss when it warmed her heart in a way that she never expected. "You're really sweet to offer..."

"But...?"

"Work's been... I've been... Busy..."

"So we can't hang out?" AJ tried not to sound disappointed.

"I'd like to--"

"Really? You would? That's fantastic! When do you want to do something? I could come pick you up and get a bite to eat and--"

"Are you trying to spoil me or what?"

"What if I was?"

"I... I don't know..."

"I just like to have a good time with my friends."

"Me too," she agreed, watching Stephanie poke her head into the room with a deliriously happy grin. Immediately, Ana rolled her eyes and pulled the blankets over her head. She was certin that Stephanie had been eavesdropping, not that the conversation had been that juicy.

"Good, good. What day would be good for you?" AJ began to silently dance with joy around the living room, which he had just recently cleaned.

"I think it'd be easier to start with your schedule--"

"We're pretty much clear for a few weeks, so it depends on your schedule, Sweetheart."

Looking up when Stephanie pulled the covers from her face, Ana could feel the flush of embarrassment burn at her cheeks. It was worse than the pain in her ankle, yet AJ sat waiting patiently for an answer. Even Stephanie wanted to hear, prodding gently at her side to force an answer. "I don't know--"

"Saturday would be good, CT, considering that Howie will be taking me out."

Ana immediately growled at the intrusion. "You know what--"

"I know, I love you, too!" Stephanie smiled.

"That is not what--"

"Can we do something Saturday, Ana?" AJ pressed, hoping to interupt the potential argument.

"I guess," Ana grunted, resisting the urge to throw her cast foot into Stephanie's gut. She hadn't even mentioned a word about the injury, having no intention to do so.

"Fantastic! Should I come get you around noon? Give you time to sleep in?"

"Yeah..." Ana trailed vaguely, wincing at Stephanie's sharp squeal of delight.

"Okay, perfect. I'll call you before Saturday, alright?"

"Alright--"

"We'll have fun. I promise."

"Can't wait," Ana answered, listening to AJ's raspy laugh. She could actually feel the thrill of his excitement race through her body as if they were one single entity. Yet, she said nothing of the connection when they spoke their goodbyes. And, when Stephanie opened her mouth, Ana growled. "We're just friends and I didn't even want to go out."

"Oh, come on! I know you want to at least hang out with AJ. He's a really sweet guy," Stephanie insisted.

"For now..."

"CT--"

"I'm really tired, Cocci."

"You're lucky you're casted, or else we would continue this talk," Stephanie frowned a little.

"I'll take what I can get at this point," Ana decided with another yawn, turning onto her side and closing her eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Okay, I'm dying now! No more rehearsing!" Nick panted as he fell onto the studio floor. Fatima had called all the boys in for practice since their tour was going to start in about three weeks. She said they needed the conditioning. Nick just thought she was doing it to torture them and he planned on making a scene about it in a form of protest. "See? On the floor, DEAD!"

"God, don't I fucking wish," AJ grumbled, leaning against the cool glass of the mirrors lining the dance studio. What conditioning had to do with a tour, he would never know. His whole body ached at the physical exercion, reminding him that perhaps he wasn't as young as he used to be. Not that he was old, but his stints in drugs and alcohol had aged him. It just didn't seem fair. As if they had forgotten the dances. Black abd Blue was the most technical of all their tours, but he could move through the dances with his eyes closed. This was torture. Pure torture. He'd rather be with Ana.

"Amen to that," Brian collapsed onto the floor next to Nick. He was all for staying physically fit, but an impromptu rehearsal was evil of the woman who had worked with them for so long.

"Did you both just wish me dead?" Nick demanded with a firm scowl fixed on what he had meant to be a death-like mask. Raising his head from the wooden floor, he pushed on Brian's shoulder, causing the man to roll. "Thanks a lot, Dipshit!"

"We were agreeing with you, dumbass!" Brian groaned. The small movement Nick had caused him made his body ache even more.

"Although, wishing him dead would end all the whining..." AJ trailed off, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"Says the man who bitches worse than I do and has been having a rotten case of PMS for the past couple of weeks," Nick growled, grunting in protest when Howie dropped a cold bottle of water onto his gut.

"Nick, don't start," Howie warned with a roll of his eyes as he handed everyone else a water bottle. "Haven't you learned that your mouth gets you into unneeded trouble about ninety-five percent of the time?"

"Ninety-five? Try ninety-nine," AJ retorted.

"I was happier when you were in a coma," Nick muttered toward AJ.

"I have no qualms with kicking your ass."

"I have no qualms about it either! At least I wouldn't have to keep rehersing!"

"Will you both shut up? God, you're worse than ten year olds," Kevin interrupted, throwing towels in their faces.

"I think you should let them go at it, Cuz," Brian suggested with a lopsided grin, furiously fanning the hem of his t-shirt to provide some kind of cool air on his sweaty body. Fatima had stepped outside for a moment, deciding that the men could take a lunch break. Yet, none of them had thanked her. Instead, Howie, Brian, and Kevin had become engrossed in the pettiness of AJ and Nick's arguments. "Can you imagine J explaining a shiner to his woman-friend? ...She is still a woman-friend, right, D?"

"Yeah, she is--"

"Why are you asking D?"

Finishing the rest of his bottled water, Brian glanced upward to see AJ standing over him. He immediately gulped down the lump that had rose in his throat, knowing he was in no condition to put up a fight, though he loved to torment AJ. "D's the one that told us all about Ana--"

"That still doesn't make any sense. You call her my woman friend, yet you ask D--"

"Because you never give us any details--"

"Because it's none of your business!"

"But we're dying to know what's going on!"

"You guys sound like a bunch of fucking chicks," Nick groaned, crawling toward the table which held all the pamphlets for local resturants. Throwing a hand up, he blindly reached about before taking a fistful of paper. Collapsing underneath the table, he began to puruse the contents.

"Is it the wrong time for me to come in?" Stephanie peeked her head into the studio. She had ran into Fatima out in the hallway and was warned that the guys were cranky, to say the least.

"Nah, you're just in time to talk about how all our periods are running together and we have to buy a case of bloody tampons to stick up our dicks just to get through this next concert--" Nick called with a jovially wave, yelping sharply when Kevin's foot connected with his backside.

"Excuse Nick's crude remarks. We're still working the bugs out on him," Kevin apologized, giving the younger woman a smile. "Come in."

"Ana's twice as bad when it comes to her cycles..." Stephanie trailed with a nervous smile, playing with the strap of her purse while stepping into the studio. She still felt as if she were interupting some sort of religious ceremony, though Howie had practically begged her to come. And, after facing Ana's disgruntled attitude, she decided it was best if she visit.

"Definitely something to take note of, J! When she's on the rag, stay the Hell away--"

"Nick!"

"What?!"

"Why don't you go place the orders for lunch?" Kevin suggested wearily, rubbing his face as if that would ward off the tension. It had been several years of dealing with Nick's personlity and Kevin knew his patience was waning.

"But why do I--"

"If you don't, I'll tell Fatima that you need some more conditioning and you won't get any lunch. So make your choice."

"Fuck, I'm going," Nick whined, crawling toward the door to retrieve his cell phone.

"That's a way to get him to do something..." Stephanie trailed off, amused.

"Threaten him with starvation," Howie agreed with a smile, leaning close to press a soft kiss to her cheek. He knew that she wouldn't stand for having his sweaty body cover hers, so the kiss would suffice, especially when she blushed softly. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I missed you," She admitted shyly, reaching up to brush a stray curl off his forehead.

"We'll go out for dinner after I get cleaned up from this practice," Howie offered, grinning just the same when the curls fell over his eyes once more.

"Remind me to bring something home that smells so delicious that Ana won't refuse it?" Stephanie suggested, taking Howie's hand when he led her toward the table.

"She's still not eating much?" Howie questioned softly as he took a long sip of water.

"She is so absolutely frustrating sometimes," Stephanie seethed quietly, pulling her purse onto the table and letting it drop with a soft thud. Holding her temples, she lamented over confessing all the troubles to Howie, not wanting him to worry too much. Yet, the tension at home was so unbearable some days. "She's so stubborn. She doesn't want to eat. So she doesn't eat. She goes all over the place on her crutches, even though she's not supposed to... Everything she would curse a patient for doing... She does!"

"I'm sorry, Baby. She's just going through a hard time, and she doesn't care what she is doing to herself," Howie sympathized, rubbing her back in a soothing circle.

"Do you think she'd hate me if I turned her over my knee and whooped her?" Stephanie groaned, not knowing how else to get in touch with Ana.

"I don't think you'd be able to get her over your knee."

"I could turn her over the bed--"

"Steph, she would whip you with those crutches before you could even pull her to the bed."

"So, you're saying she's stronger than me?"

"Sweetheart... You're more delicate..."

"You mean I'm a wimp."

"No, no, no. But you're not the physical type."

"I'm a big fat wimp!"

"Stephanie, you are not a wimp!"

"She'd kick my ass on crutches, Howie!"

"Anyone could get their asses kicked if someone hit them with crutches!"

"But she could throw the crutches to the ground, grab me by the neck, and whip me on one leg--"

"Who's beating you to a bloody pulp, Stephanie?" AJ inquired as he popped the top of a soda, flopping onto the nearby chair. Taking a long hearty gulp, he offered a chershire grin and immediately began to play with the chain on his neck. "...And, hey, why didn't you bring Ana with you? I'm sure she would have enjoyed this... Right?"

"Ana would beat me to a bloody pulp with her damn crutches--"

"Crutches? Why is she on crutches? Is that why you didn't bring her?"

"She snapped her ankle like a twig," Stephanie groaned, accepting the bottle of water that Howie offered her before pressing her head against his shoulder for support. Then, she suddenly realized when AJ grew quiet that he hadn't heard. Leaning upward, she groaned inwardly. "She wasn't going to tell you about the ankle because when you got there she was going to act surprised and you wouldn't be able to take her anywhere. She is such a..."

"She's just scared. It's not her fault. A lot of women have trouble trusting men," AJ took another long drink of soda, the wheels already turning in his head.

"She's just such a imp! I'm so sorry, AJ, honestly--"

"Steph, it's okay. I'm not going to give up on her."

"You should just change the plans to keep her at home and do something special, J. Play her game," Howie suggested with a small smile.

"Yeah... just what I was thinking..." AJ trailed off with a smile.

Looking between Howie and AJ, Stephanie immediately rolled her eyes at the devilish looks. "You two are going to do something horrible, aren't you?"

"Horrible? Never!"

"Howie..."

"It won't be horrible, Baby. I promise."

"Then what are you doing?"

"AJ's just going to show Ana he's not going to give up so easily."

"Don't take her bungee jumping or anything, okay, AJ? She's not been eating properly and her bones are tender... That ankle snapped in a couple different places. It's such a mess..."

"I wouldn't do that. But why hasn't she been eating right?"

"Because she doesn't bother to eat when she gets herself worked up..."

"Worked up? Over what?" Stephanie was silent for a moment, and in that silence AJ knew why. "Over me?"

Feeling Howie's hand slide to the small of her back, she leaned forward and bit down hard on her bottom lip. She hadn't wanted to spill all of Ana's secrets. It wasn't her place. But when Ana needed help otherwise she'd be spinning into a pit of self destruction. "She likes you AJ. I mean, she won't say as much, but I know. The way she smiled when you two got off the phone the other day... She enjoys having you around. But that scares her to death."

"I know she's scared... that's why I wanted to start as friends," AJ sighed heavily, finishing his soda and tossing it into the nearby trash can.

"And if that doesn't work, Steph and I are going on vacation and leaving you in charge," Howie teased.

"Hey... that's not a bad idea..."

"Italy would be nice," Stephanie suggested playfully, causing AJ and Howie to grin devilishly. "We could dine at several of those quaint little resturants and ride in a gandola and--"

"She really is a lush for romance," AJ chuckled.

Hearing the doorbell chime, Ana paused her movie and shifted to look over the couch. Stephanie had just been picked up by Howie for their date, so it was no surprise that AJ had arrived. Fumbling for her crutches, she pushed herself off the lumpy couch and made a slow progress toward the door. She could feel her stomach churning wildly with a nervous energy that built in the very core of her body. She just wanted him to leave. See her cast and leave.

It might have seemed treacherous to say the least, but he terrified her. She didn't trust herself in his presence. He made her question everything she had believed and the idea that her world was being turned around was unsettling. She was happier by herself, though, when she opened the door and noticed his handsome grin, she couldn't deny the own smile that swept her beautiful features.

"Hey..."

"Hey. Are you ready for some fun?" AJ's smile seemed to broaden as he saw her smiling as well.

"Sure..." Ana trailed, shifting carefully on her crutches to open the door wider. "...Where are we going?"

"Nowhere. I thought we would stay here, have some dinner and watch horror movies," AJ showed a bag full of food he knew was her favorites and another bag full of horror DVD's.

"Stephanie told you that I broke my ankle, huh?" Ana immediately guessed, noticing the devilish gleam glinting in his dark brown eyes. Leaning back further, she invited him into the house and used one crutch to push the door closed.

"In her words... snapped it like a twig? I thought I was the only one to have injuries like that," AJ offered another smile with a chuckle as they walked into the kitchen.

"You've met your match," Ana decided with a causal shrug of her shoulders, resisting the urge to wish her best friend death. "You don't have to spend the night cooped dup inside--"

"If I didn't want to spend time with you inside, I wouldn't have come here," AJ replied, pulling out ingredients for their dinner.

"...Are you cooking?" Ana questioned after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Yeah. I thought you could use a homecooked meal since Steph isn't very handy in the kitchen."

"And now she's telling you that I'm anorexic?"

"No, she didn't say that," AJ began mixing up some ground meat along with some spices. Stephanie had told him that meatloaf was one of Ana's favorite meals and he hoped he could get her to eat something.

"Okay..." Ana trailed, knowing that her friend had been spilling secrets. It was in the way AJ's posture tensed at her suggestion of anorexia. Not that it mattered, she decided, moving toward the living room. He would be gone soon enough.

"Smooth move, McLean," AJ scorned himself under his breath, patting the meat into a baking pan and slipping it into the oven.

Hestiating before flopping down on the lumpy couch, Ana went about fixing her mountain of pillows over the cushions in hopes to create a somewhat comfortable seat. Halfway through her fussing, she felt the crutches slip and she veered backward, crashing against AJ's chest. "Jesus!"

"Are you okay?" AJ heaved as he kept his arms wrapped around her. He had come out of the kitchen just in time to catch her.

"I'm fine," she assured softly. "Just nearly broke my neck."

"Why didn't you ask for help?" He asked, watching her try and straighten her crutches.

"Because I was just straightening pillows on the couch--"

"Which almost resulted in another broken bone," AJ finished for her. He helped her regain balance and took a small step back to give her space.

"What's another break?" Ana stated carelessly, shrugging her shoulders before flopping onto the couch. She grimaced at the pain racing up her leg, but naturally propped it up.

"I don't know. That would just mean more time inside," AJ replied, noting the tone in her voice. A pang invaded his heart, knowing a simple misunderstanding on his part had caused it.

"I miss the beach," she agreed softly.

"You're a beach bum, too?"

"A serious beach bum. Why?"

"I love the beach," AJ explained, playing with the chain of his favorite cross. "Maybe when you get that cast off, we can hang out there for a day and do whatever you want."

"I just like to swim all day. When I get tired, I sprawl out on my favorite beach blanket. Take a nap, slap on some sun screen, and go swimming again. God, I love swimming," Ana confided, leaning against several of the pillows before gesturing that AJ could have a seat. It was apparent he wasn't leaving.

"Once you get the cast off, we'll go to the beach and you could swim to your hearts content," AJ offered as he sat down next to her.

"I can go to the beach by myself and swim to my heart's content," she reminded him with a small smile, though she grimaced with annoyance when she moved her cast. Looking to his lap briefly and aching to just sprawl out for comfort, she bit down hard on her bottom lip. "What's the chances that I can get you to throw a pillow in your lap and hold my cast? I'll let you sign it."

"Very good chances," AJ smiled, grasping a pillow and placing it in his lap as she carefully stretched out. "I would like to sign your cast, if you want me to."

"I offered," Ana assured, grinning with satisfaction before tucking her arms behind her head and allowing her eyes to drift closed. "Make sure it's something token AJ-ish that the fans would squeal over. I can sell it on Ebay--" Feeling him gently tickle the underside of her good foot, she actually giggled. "I was kidding! Damn!"

"Yeah, you better be kidding," AJ chuckled, looking for something to write on the hard plaster. He found a Sharpie marker and bent down close to her ankle. "Don't peek."

"Because I'm a contortionist and can bend over backwards to read..."

"I was expecting a smart ass comment."

"Did I deliver?"

"Delivered and then some," he agreed as he began to scribble a message on the cast.

"Good," Ana decided, listening to the scratch of the marker across the rough plaster. She just expected him to pen his name and be done with it. Perhaps push her cast out of his lap. Yet, the scratching continued for a long length of silence. "Are you going to read that to me?"

"I will once I'm done."

"Are you done yet?"

"Almost. Haven't you heard of the saying 'Patience is a virtue'?"

"I'm not a virtuous person."

"Still. Be patient." AJ retorted as he finished his message and signed it.

"How can you honestly expect patience from a person who insists that she has no patience and--" Opening her eyes, Ana lifted the upper portion of her body and watched him cap the marker. "...Read it?"

"As you wish," AJ smiled as he began to recite what he wrote.

Ana - I know our friendship had a rocky start, but I think now the road has turned smooth. You're funny, sweet, sarcastic and full of life. I just hope we can keep moving forward and get to know each other even better. If you ever need help fixing the couch from Hell, all you need to do is ask.

Love, AJ

"You could have just wrote your name..." Ana trailed softly, lifting herself until she was fully upright. She had never seen a man with such compassion before. She had literally thrown him away and yet he still fought for her attention. Smiling, she brushed her fingers tenatively across his bristled jaw. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," AJ smiled as well, his skin tingling from her simple touch. "I wanted to give you something to read when you were feeling down, and to know I'm here if you need me."

"I'll just hold my leg above my head to read it," she promised with an impish grin, pulling her legs from his lap and collecting her crutches. "C'mon, the meatloaf cooks for a couple hours. We can get one movie in before it's done... Upstairs... In my room..."

"You're sure you want me up in your room?" AJ stood up, ready to help her if needed. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"The couch is shitty as Hell. I can't make it comfortable, no matter how many pillows I throw on it. So, you can come upstairs with me or stay down here," Ana offered, moving toward the stairs with careful attention to lifting her heavy cast to make sure it wouldn't catch.

"I'll join you upstairs. I just got my back realigned from the last time I was on that couch," He followed her and raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to help you get up the stairs? Your cast has to be heavy."

"I can do it myself--" A sharp squeal escaped her lips when AJ lifted her from the ground without any thought whatsoever. The crutches were placed against the side of the wall and she was cradled protectively against his chest. Her heart fluttered slightly, but not from surprise. "...You're something else..."

"Rhett Butler was my hero as a kid when he swept Scarlett O'Hara off her feet and went upstairs," AJ chuckled, relishing in the feeling of her nestled in his arms.

"I really hope you're kidding..." Ana trailed, wrinkling her nose in distaste though she loosely wrapped her arms about his neck. Tilting her head to the side, she admired the skull and rose inked against the side of his neck. Moving her fingers over the ink, she seemed mesmerized. "...I like these..."

AJ held back a shiver as she admired his tattoos. "I have a lot more, if you wanted to look at them."

"I'm pretty sure I've seen the menagerie... In pictures that Stephanie constantly shoves in my face..." Ana trailed, directing him toward her bedroom. When he opened the door, she smiled ruefully at the clothing scattered over the floor. Clean clothes were folded messily and piled on various surfaces, but she hadn't the time to put them away. She didn't seem to mind when he laid her upon the bed and she scooted to the top to collect her dozens of pillows. "Unless you have some in...naughty places?"

"Naughty places? Oh, no. I don't let just anyone go there," AJ laughed as she got ready for the movie. "Kev has one on his hip... Nick... I don't even want to know. Brian's too golden for that and Howie doesn't want to mar his 'beautiful caramel skin', as he has said on more than one occaision."

"I wasn't talking about them. I was talking about you," Ana reminded, gesturing toward her menagarie of technical gadgets perched on the dresser in front of her large bed. She had always enjoyed lounging in bed and watching movies, so most of the time when she had money to spare, it went into perfecting her oasis.

"I know..." AJ trailed, focusing on loading the DVD into the player. He couldn't help but allow a cloud of confusion to fall upon him. Ana's banter was profoundly flirtacious, just as before. However, when he had reacted to the flirtation, he had gotten a nasty shock. He wasn't sure how to proceed with the situation, not wanting to cause another stir.

"You know which tattoo of yours that I absolutely love?" Ana questioned when silence passed between them at the movie's previews began to roll. She gestured for him to join her on the large bed, wanting to see the tattoo.

"Which one?" AJ asked as he walked over and crawled onto the bed. He told himself not to do anything unless she initiates it.

"This one," Ana explained softly, reaching for his left arm and tilting it slightly to reveal the outside of the forearm. Sure enough, there lay a beautiful inking of Adam's hand reaching out to touch God. It was a rendition of Michelangel's famous painting - The Creation of Man. "I absolutely love this one. I studied Art History through college. It's one of my favorite paintings."

"It's one of my favorites, too. After getting out of rehab, it was my way of keeping in touch with God and staying sober."

"It's absoluely gorgeous," Ana murmured, nodding with understanding. She allowed her fingers to trace over the hand of God, wishing she could reach out and touch his heart.

"Thank you," AJ smiled as he watched her admire his body art. "Do you have any tattoos?"

"No, I don't think I've ever been able to sit still long enough to get one... Besides, I wouldn't know what to get, really. I thought about a fairy..."
"Yeah? What kind of fairies do you like?"

"Amy Brown is one of my favorite fantasy artists. That framed poster on my wall has one of her designs. She has so much talent."

AJ glaced at the photo and understood why she liked the artists drawings. They were fascinating. "Why don't you get one of her fairies as a tattoo?"

"Because I can't see sitting still long enough to get it done," Ana answered, allowing his arm to fall over her stomach as she laid back amongst the pillows. Tucking her hands behind her head, she looked to the movie, not really paying attention to the blood spattering the screen. "Besides... I don't know where to get it and... It might hurt..."

"From my standpoint... I'm not going to lie. It can hurt, but it all depends on where you get it. Places like your forearms, wrists, spine, hips and ankles hurt more than others," AJ replied, keeping his eyes on Ana's beautiful form as the movie played. "A fairy tattoo would look good on your shoulder... or even your hip bone. It really depends on your pain tolerance."

"I like the idea of getting it over my hip," Ana suggested after a moment of silence, lifting up her shirt and lower her lounge pants. She motioned toward the right portion of her outer hip bone, just aside and lower from her belly button. "Here."

"You have the perfect body type for a tattoo there," AJ commented, holding back an urge to trace his fingers over her caramel skin. "I could take you to the guy who does mine here in Florida."

"How much does he cost?"

"Nothing. It would be my treat."

"I don't want you paying for my tattoo," Ana objected, though she twined their hands together, resting them over her stomach.

"But I want to," AJ insisted, smiling at the sight of their hands joined. "Consider it an early birthday present?"

"And what if I want something better for my birthday?" Ana laughed, lifting her leg to allow him the chance to tuck several pillows beneath the cast to support it. Satisfied that she was somewhat comfortable, she turned to rest her head against his shoulder.

"Okay... a partial early birthday present?" AJ smiled as they cuddled closer on the bed, the movie playing and almost forgotten.

"I'll think about it," Ana decided, fighting a small yawn. "...What are the chances you can grab that blanket at the end of the bed? I love air conditioning and I love it frigid, but it's best when I have a blanket to cuddle with."

"No problem," AJ smiled. He sat up and grabbed the blanker. He covered her up and looked at her for approval. "Better?"

"Almost," she decided, gesturing for him to lay back down before draping the blanket over them both. Tucking close against him once more, she inhaled the spicy scent of his cologne. "I get lonely sometimes."

"I know how you feel," he replied, wrapping his arms around her as the soft blanket made a warm nest for them. "Especially when I'm on tour."

"I love Stephanie with all my heart and she cuddles up with me... But... I don't know... I just feel empty sometimes and she can't fix it... I just move between wanting to be completely alone to needing someone to cuddle with me. I swear, I'm bipolar."

"A bipolar cuddler," AJ chuckled, running his fingers through her locks.

"You'd be surprised," she murmured, allowing her eyes to drift closed while his fingers played with her thick honey curls. "...You're lonely when you tour? Even with your friends all around?"

"Sometimes the company of four men doesn't help with the loneliness."

"...I'd be quite content with the company of four men..."

"Oh you would?" AJ looked down at her with a chuckle.

"Four handsome men and me?" Ana questioned, watching intently as AJ nodded slowly. "Of-fucking-course I'd be content. Bubble bath with one and shower with the other three. One can scrub my back. One can wash my hair. And the other... Well... He's the lucky one."

"You are something else," AJ wheezed slightly, still chuckling. She was definitely one of a kind and he was determined to make her his one of a kind when she was ready.

"Well, I need to have a boy-toy to entertain myself with while I'm being pampered," Ana explained with a small pout as if upset that he didn't understand. When he shifted to hover over her, she felt her heart rate accelerate with excitement and draped her arms causually over his shoulders. She wanted to provoke him this time. She was certain. Her body craved his attention since their last encounter, though she had worked herself to death to forget that simple fact.

"A boy-toy, eh?" AJ smirked softly, licking his dry lips. "And who would be your boy-toy?"

"So many men to chose from..." Ana trailed with a heavy sigh. She acted as if it were a chore to pick a man. As if she had so many to consider.

"Make your choice wisely," AJ warned, raising an eyebrow.Ana released a soft whine of protest, slumping back upon the mattress and tucking her arms beneath her head.

"I can't sample? Y'know, like how you go to test drive cars?"

"You need to think about this logically," AJ shook his head with a gentle roll of his eyes. "Nick's maturity level and intelligence is at the age of seven. Brian's married. Kevin's married. Howie is dating your best friend. So... what do you think would be wise?"

Sighing, Ana pushed herself up with her elbows, brushing her chest against his. Raising her chin, she allowed their lips to meet, but wouldn't pursue a kiss. Instead, she allowed their lips to mere brush when the words passed her lips in a whisper, "Nick, obviously."

"Why you little!" AJ began tickling her."Apparently that was the wrong answer!" Ana squealed with surprise, clammoring to reach the man's hands to prevent such a torture. Her entire body tingled with the sensation of his fingers racing over her skin. He even made sure to tuck his fingers beneath her t-shirt to create the friction of skin against skin. She flushed with delight, though she hoped he assumed it was exertion.

"What would make you think that?" AJ laughed, loving the sounds of her laughter and squeals. Her skin felt so soft under his touch.

"Because you're attacking me!" she gasped, struggling to find his hands and pin them, not knowing how much more she could sustain."Say it."

"Never."

"Say it!"

"Never!"

"Say it!"

"I don't know what you want me to say!"

"Say 'Uncle'!"

"You're not my uncle, Dumbass!"

"Then I ain't stopping, Smartass!"

"You're torturting a cripple!"

"You're preaching to the choir! Now say it!"

"You're not crippled!"

"I'm close to being in the Guinness Book of Records for most crippling moments!"

"It's not my fault that you're a complete baboon when it comes to functioning--"

"Now it's going to get worse!"

"Wait--"

"Too late!"

"Damnit!" Ana cursed with a sharp squeal when his fingers dug into her sides, by far the most ticklish portion of her body. She arched up against him and grasped his face within her hands. Pulling him over her body, she roughly joined their lips together, wanting to hault the violent assault over her body. Hearing a soft moan rumble from the base of his throat, she nipped furiously at his bottom lip before drawing it into her mouth, sucking slowly.

"Damnit..." AJ breathed as their lips were brought together again, almost with a crushing force from the pent-up attraction between them.

"Fucking Hell," Ana cursed after him, whimpering softly when his hands framed her face. Leaning up once more, she released his bottom lip to offer a full kiss. His breath tickled her lips before seeming to engulf her. His tongue roughly slipping into her mouth, she eagerly met him in a passionate entwinement. The coolness of his silver rings against her flaming skin soothed the ache spreading over her and she pulled him closer.

"Are you okay with this?" AJ pulled his mind out of the passion for a moment to make sure she was still comfortable being intimate with him. He didn't want to revert her back into the dark shell she had been in.

Falling back amongst the pillows, Ana stared at him with astonishment, bringing her fingers to her kiss-swollen lips. She frowned at the cessation of the encounter, desperaltey needing something more from him. Yet, he stopped as if he weren't ready. "Jesus Christ, AJ--"

"Alex--"

"What?"

"Call me Alex," AJ murmured softly, still hovering over her with uncertainty. He couldn't stand to hear such a generic nickname pass her lips. Not when his entire soul begged for her, yearning to be with her always.

"Alex..." Ana trailed in a whisper, reaching up to grasp the collar of his wrinkled wifebeater. "C'mere."

"Okay..." AJ obliged, allowing their lips to capture each other once more and his body slowly descended onto hers.

"Don't worry," she murmured into his mouth, hoping to coax the intensity from his muscles. She wanted him to concentrate on the carnal pleasures that their bodies could produce, but he tensed over her. Bringing her lips to the corner of his mouth, she kissed her way across his beard-roughened jaw. When she found his earlobe, she nipped playfully and dropped to suck at the skull tattoo on the side of his neck. "I want this."

"Y-You do?" he stammered, feeling his body ache with a familiar want as her kisses led to the front of his throat. She was so exquisite; rough yet sweet and gentle.

"Don't you?" she asked with a purr, nibbling at the flesh of his throat. She felt his chin sink against the her forehead as if the strength were leaving his body. She had never understood the power she held over men, nor truly exerted its potency. Yet, she continued to edge AJ toward the brink of insanity.

"Yes... I just wanted to make sure you--"

"Can't you see that I want this?" Ana groaned, pulling her lips away from his body.

"Sweetie... the last time I thought you wanted this kind of contact... I scared you. I just don't want to do that again. I care about you too much," AJ explained softly.

Furrowing her brows with annoyance, she fell back against the pillows and resisted the urge to utter a full phrase of colorful curses. "You didn't scare me."

"I didn't?"

"No."

"So... leaving me alone to breakfast and never answering my calls meant...?"

I was busy."

"That was all?"

"And I had the shits? Hell, what are you looking for me to say?"

"I'm just trying to respect you, Ana. That's all. If this is something you want, this is something I want."

"I'm trying to show you that this is something I want, but you keep interupting my flow," Ana answered with a firm pout, sitting up with a huff of air expelling from her lungs. Grasping his thin hips, she guided him over her and helped him straddle her lap. Satisfied when he towered over her, she removed his wifebeater and ran her fingers gently over his chest before kissing the warm flesh.

"I think I should interrupt the flow more often," AJ moaned softly, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I think we would have gotten here sooner if you'd just fucking shut up," Ana muttered, though she laughed against his chest when he tugged sharply on a stray honey curl. Drawing her left knee up to bump his backside, she ended up pushing him closer, nipping, sucking, and kissing the flesh of his upper chest before finding his collar bone for a quick nibble.

"So this is the firecracker side of you I heard so much about," AJ rolled his eyes, biting his bottom lip hard as her lips found his neck again.

"I don't know anything about that," Ana disagreed with a causal shrug of her lean shoulders, brushing her lips over the skull tattoo on the opposite side of his neck, feeling a sharp shiver race down his spine.

"You are such a bullshitter," AJ chuckled, leaning forward so Ana would lie amongst the pillows once more. Looking backward when she satisfied herself by brushing her fingers down his chest to the pit of his stomach, the pad of her index finger tracing the sixty-nine around his belly button, he fought another hard shiver. She was driving him insane and he wanted to reciprocate the affection, but wanted to make sure that her ankle was still protection amongst its pillows.

"Alex... I need your attention..." Ana cooed suddenly. "Or am I not doing a good job at keeping it?"

"Oh, you're definitely keeping my attention," AJ groaned softly, turning his gaze back to her. "I was checking on your ankle."

"It's fine," she assured him, grabbing the belt looped through his baggy jeans and giving it a firm tug.

"Oof! Demanding," he chuckled, leaning down to kiss her hard.

"Well, you've got to keep me attention or I'm going to seek satisfaction elsewhere," she explained, moaning softly and arching up against him when his tongue dipped into her mouth for several swift strokes.

"You won't have to worry about that," he promised, his lips finding her delicate, creamy neck and he suckled softly.

"You should be the one worrying about me leaving," she answered with a soft hiss of delight, cupping her hands over his neck to hold him close.

"Oh yeah?" he held back a smile, trailing from her neck down to her throat and back to her neck.

"Okay," she whimpered with a quick shiver. "Maybe I would worry... Slightly..."

"That's what I thought--"

"And if I told you that the meat loaf was burning?"

"You're shitting me."

"Use your nose and find out."

"Shit!" AJ exclaimed when he took a whiff of the air. Leaping out of the bed, he hit his knees on the carpet and fumbled to stand. He stumbled and crumbled, but managed to go running out of the room.

"So... We're done with foreplay now, right?" Ana holler after him with a laugh.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Releasing Stephanie's hand, Howie lightly draped his arm around her shoulders to bring her close when the ocean breeze chilled. Sunset was steadily approaching and he had wanted to take a stroll down the beach after dinner. It was something that he did frequently, especially when he was in his deepest depressions. Somehow, the soothing quality of the waves had rescued him from the darkest of thoughts. Yet, now, walking the familiar path with a beautiful woman at his side, he found that these strolls would be different from now on.

"It's so breathtaking here when the sun is going down," Stephanie sighed softly, placing an arm around his waist as they walked along the cool sand. Being with Howie always seemed to put everything into perspective.

"I was thinking the same thing myself," Howie agreed with a gentle nod, leaning over to press a soft kiss to her brow. Feeling her hand squeeze him lightly, he smiled and continued to set the pace of their walk. "You're absolutely gorgeous in any light, though."

"You're pretty dashing in any light yourself," Stephanie cheeks burned slightly as the waves crashed into the shore. It was still a little difficult to accept compliments, but she was getting better.

"Dashing?"

"It sounded good?"

"I think you're the first to call me dashing," he chuckled.

"I read a lot of romance novels," she confessed with a furious blush, tucking herself close within his embrace. "It was easier to get lost into a beautiful fantasy filled with love and adoration than face reality..."

"I understand," he assure, gently rubbing her shoulder. "That's the beauty of performing. I could be someone else every night. But you still have to come home eventually..."

"Yeah... at least we have each other to go home to," she offered, closing her eyes for a moment as the salty breeze ruffled her choppy blonde locks.

"I thank God for that, I promise."

"So do I," she opened her eyes again and looked out to the ocean. Like Howie, she had found a solace within the turbulant waters when she was at her lowest. A spark lit inside her and she pulled away from him, grasping his hand. "Come on."

"What are we doing?"

"Come on!" She began pulling him towards the water.

"It's freezing in that water!" he exclaimed in horror, grasping her hands and hurriedly pulling her toward him. "We'll be freezing!"

"We can keep each other warm," she kissed him passionately and took his hand again.

"This isn't Titanic, Stephanie--" he argued vehemently, feeling the chill of the tide when it lapped at his ankles.

"Baby, this is real life. We have this one life to live and I don't want to waste a minute!" she held onto his hand, continuing to pull.

"Well, we're going to waste more than a minute when you plunge me into these cold ocean waters, I catch pneumonia, get hospitalized, and die--" Groaning when she continued to pull furiously, he grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her into his arms. Rushing into the rolling waves, he laughed when she shrieked in disbelief at the spray meeting with a sharp crack. "Heaven knows what I'm going to experience with you in Italy!"

"Howie, you're not going to-- wait. ITALY? WE'RE GOING TO ITALY?!"

"I was thinking about it..." he trailed causually, unable to help the proud grin lighting his handsome face.

"Oh, I would love to go to Italy with you!" she tightened her grip around his neck as the waves rushed around them. Her eyes twinkled while she smiled.

"Are you sure? It would mean taking a long, boring flight over seas with me. Staying at a posh hotel in a single suite with me. Enjoying the sights with me--"

"Being with you is the best part!" Stephanie interupted with a grin. "Italy is the bonus."

"Sure," Howie chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead before carrying her from the rising waters. "What are the chances that we can leave in a few days? I thought it'd be nice to get away before I have to go back on tour."

"A few days? But Ana--"

"Well... you had been trying to find a way for her and AJ to spend more time together. Right?"

"Right. But--"

"AJ would have no problem whatsoever moving in with her for the week---"

"An entire week?!"

"How long did you think we would be gone?" Howie chuckled, his ears crinkling from her shriek.

"Ana would not let me go to Italy for an entire week and leave her with AJ..."

"Maybe she'll have a change of heart after today," Howie cupped her cool cheek, his eyes warm and bright. "Please come to Italy with me."

"Italy..." Stephanie repeated with awe, moving her lips to his with a soft kiss. "How could I say no? Even though Ana's going to murder me when we get home."

"Things may just surprise us," Howie rested his forehead against hers as they kissed again.

"What do you mean?"

"J sent me a text message while you were in the bathroom," Howie explained with a wider grin, taking her hand and guiding her down the beach.

"They didn't burn down the house, did they?" Stephanie raised an eyebrow.

"Not that I know of..." Howie trailed, plucking his expensive phone from the back pocket of his jeans. Flipping through his variety of messages, he then handed over his phone. "He wrote 'Score'."

"Score?" she wrinkled her nose in distate at AJ's choice of words. "Wait! You mean they--"

Howie whistled sharply with amusement, "Damn, did you just turn into a nasty girl--"

"HOWARD!" Stephanie smacked his arm.

"What?" he laughed, jerking away from her.

"I am not nasty when it comes to my best friend," she scowled. "Besides, you like it when I'm a little na--"

"Hey! No need to spread the gossip!"

"You're too cute for words sometimes," she laughed, running a hand through her hair to dry it. "So... Ana's finally giving AJ a chance?"

"Maybe more than a chance," Howie answered with a shrug of his shoulders, leading her back to his home when the chill of the air swept through his damp clothing. "Score could mean so many things, right?"

"Well... with that friend of yours... yes," Stephanie answered, shivering a little. She was beginning to think a dip in the ocean wasn't the greatest idea she's had.

"My friend?" Howie snorted. "What about yours?"

"What are you implying, Dorough?"

"That Ana's a pistol!"

"Not a pistol!" Stephanie defended with a scowl, though the corners of her mouth turned into a slight smirk when Howie chuckled. "Damnit, Howie! She's not... I mean... She is... Damnit! She's unpredictable!"

"Exactly! So, do you think they slept together?"

"Since your friend is unpredictable... and my friend is unpredictable... I really don't know, but I think I'll be washing bedsheets tomorrow..."

"AJ might just steal them to commemorate the occasion," Howie stated honestly, guiding her up the steps to his back porch. "He's been nuts about Ana since meeting her... I think obsessed stalker is not a bad term for it."

"I sure hope it's a healthy obsession," Stephanie made a face at the thought of stealing bedsheets after lovemaking.

"Well... My sheets went missing after we--"

"They did not!" Stephanie hurriedly innterrupted.

"Sweetheart, I'm pretty sure I would notice--"

"You're just not funny!"

"Okay, okay," he laughed, sweeping her inside the warmth of his home and ushering her toward the master bedroom. "Let's talk about Italy then. I'd like to leave by Friday."

"Friday will be perfect. My junior editor can watch everything for me while I'm gone," She approved, peeling off her baby blue, lightweight sweatshirt to reveal a form fitting tanktop.

"You're sure?" he asked, glancing briefly toward his lover before sliding his wet jeans away from his cold body. Tossing them into the nearby hamper, he then grasped Stephanie's hips and seated himself at the edge of his bed while drawing her between his legs.

"Positive," she looked down at him and smiled as he unzipped her jeans.

"You'll love Italy," he assured, helping her slide away the damp material before leaning in to place soft kisses over her abdomen while inching up her tank top.

"N-Not as much as I love you," she stuttered, whimpering softly at his touch.

"I love you too," he promised, helping her straddle his lap. Then, tossing the tank top aside, he caught her lips in a passionate kiss, nibbling softly at her bottom lip to entice her further. She moaned and eagerly reciprocated the passion as they kissed again; their tongues entangled in a slow, heated dance.

"I'll get you warm," he promised softly, laying back upon the bed.

"Oh, Howie," she whispered, kissing him again.

"And I'm considering making you come on tour with me," he decided, moving her so she sprawled over the bed. Then, climbing after her, he worked to shed the rest of her clothing, leaving her body bare. Her cheeks were reddened with the bite of the cool winds, only making her appear more lovely. He couldn't resist moving his fingers over her, exploring every inch of skin, allowing the pads of his fingertips to kiss her inner thighs.

"Me? Coming on tour?" she repeated with a squeak as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Yes. I don't think I could stand being away from you for so long--"

"How could I possibly--"

"Write on the road?"

"I would have to talk to all of the employees about this--"

"You can make it happen," Howie explained softly, pressing kisses to her shoulder before slowly moving down her arm. He could feel the faint raise of scars that had long-since been made. He knew that she could feel his scars as well when they made love. But neither mentioned the imperfections. But they did make sure to press delicate kisses over the scars. Apologizing for not being there sooner to prevent each other's pain.

"You really want me to go on tour?" Stephanie whispered, running her fingers through his short curls.

"I really do," he promised, lifting his head to study her stormy blue eyes.

"Well, then... I guess I'll have to look for my replacement and get some assignments to do while on the tour bus," she decided with a smile.

"...Really?"

"Really."

"Sweetheart," Howie crooned with happiness, covering her mouth with his. "Thank God I have my own tour bus!"