Chapter 1

“Help,” I screamed, my voice echoing through what seemed to be an endless alley. The echo seemed to pierce my soul with fear for I knew that no one had heard my cry, my plea. I had been running for what felt like forever and I was gasping for air, my breath was coming in almost painful raged gasps. I needed to get away, my life depended on getting away from the man who was chasing me; the man who was looking to ruin my life. I couldn’t believe that I could be experiencing the last few moments of my life and that scared the shit out of me. I had always imagined that I would die peacefully with family and loved ones gathered around me. I imagined that I would slowly be lifted towards that proverbial light and into eternal bliss without pain.

My chest heaved as I took hollow breaths. Tears were streaming down my face and I could taste their saltiness as they reached my lips. Their taste served as a reminder of my fear, not that I needed a reminder, my fear was very much a reality that needed no reminder for it was a potent emotion. I had been plagued with fear since this whole incident had begun. Beads of sweat covered my body as I continued to run. Hearing his footsteps moving quickly behind me kept me motivated. I couldn’t let him catch up to me.

“Help me!” I yelled again, hoping that this time someone would hear me and come to my rescue. I had no such luck. Once again, my voice echoed through the deserted alley. Fear ripped at my heart again. It was like a ripple effect because I felt it run through my entire body, it seemed to take over all of my senses. I truly believe that it was my fear, mixed with adrenaline, that kept me moving at such a rapid pace. Never had my body been subjected to such a grueling, painful regimen. I ached but I knew I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t even hide, he was too close to me for me to have any opportunity at attempting to conceal myself. Breathing was becoming painful and I needed to take a rest before I passed out. I could feel the exhaustion beginning to creep up on me, attempting to engulf me in its arms. I wasn’t going to last much longer, I knew that much.

Suddenly, a cold chill passed through me and I attempted to wrap my arms around my exposed body. I shuddered thinking about how close I had gotten to being raped only moments before. This man had attacked me from behind while I was walking down the sidewalk, heading home and he pulled me into this alley where he ripped my shirt open, exposing my bra. He fondled my breasts before he ripped my skirt from my body. When he went for the buckle of his belt, I knew that I had to act, it would be the only chance that I would get. So I kicked him, I kicked him hard. He lost his balance and fell off of me. I got up and took off running. I never once looked behind me but I could hear him following me, feel him staring at me with his cold, uncaring, evil eyes.

“Help,” I chocked out again, only it came out barely a whisper and the voice I heard scared me, it didn‘t sound like mine; it was weak, hurt, scared. I was beginning to think that this alley was never going to end, I had been running down it for so long. Hope was quickly dissipating and my stamina was being tested. Did I have it in me to keep going? My mind wandered to my life, to everything that it held. My sister was the first person that came to mind. She needed me. Our parents had died only months ago and I was the only one that could take care of her. She needed me, I repeated to myself, she needed me. Suddenly, my running, my trying to escape wasn’t about me any more, it was about her.

My body experienced a sudden rush and I acted upon it, forcing my body to move faster. My eyes were scanning the area, hoping for something, anything that I could use to either protect myself with or hide in, I found nothing. Then in the distance, I saw movement. There were people there. I had to get a little closer because I didn’t trust my voice after my last plea for help, I wasn’t sure if it had the power to make it to them. My feet were pounding the pavement hard and I could hear his footsteps still, he wasn’t going to let me go. If he caught me, he was going to kill me and I knew it.

“Help!” I called when I was closer to the people I had seen. They didn’t seem to hear me because they were walking into a side door. No please, I pleaded in my mind. Please don’t leave me out here. I need your help, you’re the only ones that can save me now, you‘re my last hope.

“HELP!” I screamed with all of the energy that I could muster as I kept running. The last man had heard my scream this time and he stopped and looked in my direction. He said something to someone on the inside and started to jog towards me. Thank god, I thought to myself, this was about to end. We reached each other quickly and I grabbed onto his black t-shirt, tears streaming down my face.

“He…. He, that man.. He tired to rape me,” I chocked out as I saw one of the other men that my savior was with run after the man that had been chasing me but had now turned in retreat.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, we’ve got you know. We aren‘t going to let anything happen to you,” the man assured me. I felt my knees go weak and I collapsed onto the ground. “Whoa, are you okay?” my savior questioned as he kneeled down to pick up my exhausted body.

“I’m so weak,” I whispered. He nodded.

“We’re going to get you inside and we’re going to call the police okay?” he stated to me. I nodded my head, tears running down my face.

“Where’s Joel?” one of the men who was with my savior asked. Joel must have been the man that had went after the guy who was chasing me. Bless his soul. He didn’t even know me but he took off after the man who had tried to hurt me. He didn’t even hesitate, he just went after him.

“He went after the guy,” my savior replied.

“What, is he fucking nuts?” the man questioned as my savior walked passed him, with me in his arms.

“No,” my savior answered as he laid me down on a couch near by. “He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t hurt anyone else.”

“What if he gets hurt Benji?” Benji, so that was my saviors name. I smiled weakly, Benji had saved my life. I would forever be in his debt.

“He’s not gonna get hurt,” Benji assured this other man. “He’s probably on his way back now since he was able to chase him away.”

“Police are on their way,” yet another man called. I didn’t have the energy to look to see where he was standing or what he looked like. Benji nodded and kneeled down beside the couch and looked at me.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

“He tried to rape me,” I whispered. “He just grabbed me from out of nowhere as I was walking down the street.”

“Did he hurt you?” Benji asked, scanning my body for bruises.

“No, I escaped before he could.”

“That’s good,” he replied. He moved to take off his hoodie with the word ‘MADE’ scrawled across it and handed it to me. “Here, put this on.”

“Thanks,” I replied, slowly sitting up. I slipped the warm hoodie on, and wrapped my arms around my legs which I had drawn to my chest.

“I’m Benji, by the way,” he stated sweetly.

“I’m Angela,” I replied, he smiled.

“The guy with the purple hair, the one that called police, his name is Billy,” Benji stated as he pointed to the man standing on the other side of the room. I turned my head to look at him, he smiled weakly and nodded his head. “And this is Paul,” he said as he pointed to the other guy who was standing near the door where we had come in, I guess he was waiting for the other guy, Joel, to come back. He smiled when I looked at him.

“Thank you for helping me,” I stated. “I don’t know how much longer I would have been able to keep running. It was getting hard to breathe.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Benji stated. “I’m just glad that I heard you before it was too late.”

“Me too.” Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Paul quickly opened it. The man that had ran after my captor entered. He bent over, putting his hands on his knees, to catch his breath.

“Man that fucker could move,” he said with a slight laugh.

“Joel, what the fuck do you think you were doing?” Paul questioned, obviously very concerned about Joel‘s safety. “He could have fucking killed you.”

“Hey I wasn’t just going to stand there and let him get away,” Joel barked, slightly angry. “I thought that maybe I could catch him and hang onto him until the police got here.”

“How’d you loose him?” Benji asked.

“He was just moving too fast,” he replied, standing up straight. “Is she okay?” he asked looking towards me.

“She seems okay, she said that she got away before he could do anything to her,” Benji said, telling him what I had just told him moments before.

“That’s good,” Joel said. “Are the police on their way?”

“They’ll be here at any moment,” Billy replied from the corner of the room. Only seconds later, we heard a banging on the door, it had to be the police. Paul opened the door to allow the two uniformed officers into the room. Benji stood from where he had been squatting to greet the police.

“Is this her?” the officer asked as he motioned his arm towards me. I looked up at him, then at Benji, who answered.

“Yeah.”

“Ma’am,” one of the officers said coming to take the squatting position beside me that Benji had just been in, “I’m officer Rodriquez, and I’m going to have to ask you a few questions about what just happened. You think you can answer them?”

“Yeah,” I answered softly.

“What’s your name?”

“Angela.”

“Last name?”

“Peterson.”

“Alright Ms. Peterson, can you tell me what happened, using as much detail as possible.”

“I was walking down the street, a couple of blocks away, I was going home when all of a sudden I felt someone grab me. I tried to scream but he had covered my mouth with his hand and he pulled me into this alleyway. I screamed again when he took his hand off of my mouth but he didn’t seem to care, I guess we were too far from the street for anyone to hear me. Then he ripped open my shirt and he touched my breasts,” I said with a slight blush of embarrassment creeping onto my face, “Then he ripped off my skirt. When he went to open his pants, I kicked him because I knew this would be the only time he wouldn’t have his attention completely on me. When he fell off of me, I took of running and I kept running until these guys stopped to help.”

“Were you able to get a good look at him?” Officer Rodriquez questioned.

“No, everything happened too fast,” I replied regretfully. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright Ms. Peterson,” officer Rodriquez assured me.

“I saw him,” Joel announced. Officer Rodriquez and his partner both looked at Joel. “Benji, my brother,” he said pointing towards Benji, “heard someone scream and he called into us. He went to help her and I chased after the guy. I got a good look at him before he turned to run away.”

“You really shouldn’t have gone after him son,” the other officer said sternly. “He could have had a weapon and could have hurt you or even killed you.”

“I know I shouldn’t have gone after him officer but I didn’t even think, I just went after him, I guess I figured that I could catch him and hold him down until you got here,” Joel explained.

“I’m going to need you to come down to the station so you can talk to an artist so that we can get a sketch of the man you saw,” Officer Rodriquez told Joel, he nodded. Then officer Rodriquez turned his attention back to me. “You’re going to have to come down too so that we can file a report and call someone to come and get you.” I nodded reluctantly, not really wanting to move. I just wanted to lay on this couch and forget about everything that had just happened to me. Benji extended his hand to me. I looked at him, I think he could tell that I was apprehensive about going down to the station. I could see it in his eyes, but he still kept his hand extended until I took it.

Chapter 2

I’ve never been inside of a police station before in my life. There had never been a time when I needed to be. Not even after my parents died. The police had come to me at my house and told me the news. I had never been so heartbroken in my life. It was like at that moment, everything stopped. I felt that again tonight. It was like my life was frozen at the moment that this had all begun. I kept replaying the events over in my mind, thankful that I hadn’t been raped but scared at the fact that I had been abducted off of the middle of the side walk. How could that have happened? How could no one have seen anything. I mean if someone had saw something, they would tried to help me, right?

I sniffled, tears had been streaming down my face. I felt violated and I felt unsafe even surrounded by all of the police officers in the station. Why should I feel safe anymore? I’d believed that I was safe when I was walking down the street but that had all ended. It was as though I felt that I couldn’t be safe anywhere, no matter what. I sighed as I wiped the tears from my face with the sleeve of Benji’s hoodie. I needed to find Benji so I could give him his hoodie back and thank him once again for saving my life. I knew that he was still here because I could see Joel talking to the sketch artist. He looked so serious and he seemed to be thinking out his responses to make sure that every detail was correct.

I smiled quickly to myself, these guys were so amazing. They must be angels. That’s all I could imagine them to be. They were at the right place at the right time because God had put them there to save me. I wrapped my arms around myself as I let my eyes scan over the room. I was looking for any of the other guys but I couldn’t find them. I guess the police wanted to question them about what they saw, which wasn’t much. Benji and Joel had seen the most.

“Are you okay?” A male voice suddenly asked, startling me. I turned to see that Benji had taken a seat next to me on the bench and was looking at me with concern in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” I replied softly as I looked into his eyes. He had very beautiful eyes. They were an amazing chocolate shade and looking into them made me feel safe. He smiled at me. Man, he had an amazing smile also. Actually, he was very good looking. His arms were covered with tattoos, he even had some on neck. I was never big on tattoos but on him, they were amazingly sexy. He had three piercings on his lower lip and one on his upper lip. Part of me just wanted to bend over and kiss them. I shook the thought from my head. I had just met this man, I shouldn’t be thinking about him in that way, especially not after what happened. Shouldn’t I be pushing people away from me right now?

“I just want to thank you again,” I said, ignoring my thoughts.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Like I said before, I’m just glad that we were able to help you before anything worse could happen to you,” he told me with a reassuring smile. God, I was going to hate it when I had to leave the police station because I knew that I would probably never see Benji again. I suppressed a sigh.

“Benji, you saved my life back there,” I told him seriously and he looked down at the ground. “That guy would have killed me, I know he would have. He wasn’t going to just let me escape because he knew that I would have gone to the police. I owe my life to you. There aren’t enough words in the world for me to describe how grateful I am for everything that you and the other guys have done for me.”

“I only did what was right,” he replied, looking up into my eyes. Oh man, there are those beautiful eyes again.

“I know you did, but there are people out there that wouldn’t have stopped when they heard me screaming,” I told him sadly. “I had been screaming for a long time, I’m sure someone had heard me but no one did anything about it until I saw you guys.” Tears had started to roll down my cheeks again. Benji reached out and rubbed his thumb across my cheek to wipe away the tears then he let his hand rest on my cheek. I closed my eyes and sighed at the warmth. I opened my eyes when he took his hand away from my face.

“So, did you call anyone to come pick you up?” he questioned.

“No,” I answered. “I called my sister at my house to let her know where I was but she didn’t answer the phone, she must have gone to one of her friends houses.”

“Oh. How old is your sister?” he asked.
“She’s sixteen.”

“Did you call your folks? Maybe they could and get you.”

“My parents died a few months ago,” I told him, memories of the night coming to my mind yet again. I blinked my eyes to keep tears from forming.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…. I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories or anything,” he said apologetically.

“It’s alright,” I told him with a small smile. Man, he was so sweet.

“I could give you a ride home,” he said suddenly.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean it won’t be that big of a deal,” he replied. “It’s better than you having to sit here for hours before you can get home.”

“I really appreciate that Benji,” I replied. “You know, I wish we had met under different circumstances.” He looked at me, surprised, taken back by my statement. “I mean you’re such a great guy, a great person and I’d really like us to be friends but it would be a little weird considering how we met.”

“Why would it be weird?”

“I don’t know,” I stated. “I guess it would just feel weird knowing that you saved my life. I’d always feel like I owed you something.”

“You don’t owe me or the other guys anything,” he stated. “We were just doing the right thing like I said. But if you do want to give us something, how about a hug and we’ll call it even.” I smiled at his kindness. I was beginning to like him more and more, and even though I had only known him a couple of hours I felt somehow connected to him.

“That’s hardly even.”

“It’s good enough,” he said with a goofy smile on his face. I laughed. It was the first time that I had laughed since this whole thing had began and it felt great. Benji made me feel great. Stop it, I scolded myself. I couldn’t let myself think about Benji like that. I didn’t know anything about him and here I was jumping to some sort of puppy love state. It’s stupid, I know. Part of me couldn’t help it though. How often are you saved by the most amazing looking person you’ve ever seen? It’s hard not to be attracted to them. It would have been hard not to be attracted to Benji if I had just seen him walking down the street but that sort of hero façade that I subconscious associated him with only made him that more irresistible. “So, when am I gonna get that hug?”

“How ‘bout now?” I said leaning over to wrap my arms around him. He quickly wrapped his arms around my tiny body and I immediately felt safe and protected. I sighed into his chest. He smelt good, I thought to myself.

It’s strange, people usually find warmth and comfort in the arms of someone the trust, they love, they know, but here I am in the arms of a stranger feeling comforted. Comfort that I didn’t have a moment ago even though I’m in a police station surrounded by men and women who were trained to protect the public in every way imaginable. I sighed into Benji’s chest, once again taking in his scent, he really did smell good. He kept his arms around me, I guess he knew I found comfort in them because he pulled me a little closer and a little tighter. Benji then lightly pressed his lips to the top of my head.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Benji whispered.

“How can you be so sure? I mean I know this incident is over, but what if there’s a next time? What if I’m not so lucky? What if next time no one’s there to help me.”

“There isn’t gonna be a next time honey,” Benji said, keeping his voice a whisper. “You know why? Because you’re a smart woman and you’re gonna learn what to look out for so no mother fucker is going to be able to put a finger on you and if he does, he’s gonna be sorry because you’re gonna kick his ass and I’m gonna be right there behind you.”

“Don’t make promises that you can’t keep Benji,” I warned. “You’re not always going to be there and I’m not always going to be able to take care of myself, that’s just the harsh and plain truth.” Benji sighed and I felt his hand gently glide up and down my back.

“Angela, don’t make things worse than they are,” he replied. “You’re looking for the worse case scenario and you’re just scaring yourself for no reason.”

“Benji…”

“Shh,” he interrupted me. “Please just think about that, alright? I understand where you’re coming from and why you’re thinking the way you are but please, don’t worry yourself too much because I would hate to see you do that to yourself, I just want to make sure that you can be happy again.”

“You’ve never seen me happy.”

“Yeah, but I’m gonna,” he said with a grin. “You’re not gonna be able to get rid of me until then.” I laughed quietly to myself.

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“A threatening promise,” he answered, his grin getting goofier.

“So, when are you going to take me home?”

“As soon as Joel can leave. He doesn’t have a way to get back because I told the other guys that they could leave just before I came to talk to you,” he explained.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“Me and Joel?”

“You and everyone.”

“Joel’s my identical twin brother..”

“Twin?” I interrupted. He looked at me questioningly, it was as if he was surprised by the fact that I had been surprised that he had told me that he and Joel were twins.

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, it’s just you two don’t seem very identical.”

“We are. We used to look identical when we were younger because we dressed kinda similar and I didn’t have all the facial piercings,” he explained.

“Oh.”

“And um, Joel and I went to high school with Paul and Billy, where we started our band.”

“You guys are a band?”

“Yeah,” he answered stopping the movement of his hand. “We’re actually kinda popular.”

“Really? How popular?”

“MTV popular.”

“You guys are on MTV?”

“Yep.”

“That’s really cool,” I replied. “My sister would probably have heard of you then. I just don’t listen to much music, I don’t have the time any more and when I did listen to music, I wasn‘t the kind that would recognize a member of a certain band or a singer if I saw them.”

“Hey, I’m free!!!” Joel announced, overly dramatizing the word free. I giggled. “Ahh, so she can laugh!”

“You guys ready to go?” Benji asked.

“Hell yeah,” I answered, as I unwillingly pulled away from Benji and from the safety of his arms. “I just want to get the hell out of here and go home.”

Chapter 3

I clutched my pillow tightly to me chest as I lay curled up in my bed. Benji and Joel had left about twenty minutes ago. They hadn’t just left me at door like I had expected but they actually walked me to my door. THE BOTH OF THEM!!! Honestly, I think I could get used to all of this attention from two hot men. After walking me to the door, they both actually came into my house (though I really didn’t know why, I was safe in my own house at least I felt that I was) and we ended up exchanging numbers. Benji had stated several times that I could call him just to talk; to talk about what I was feeling or anything, even the weather (what a dork). Even if I just needed someone to talk to about my day he wanted me to call. He jokingly said that if he didn’t hear from me he’d come back to my house to stalk me. His choice of words made me slightly nervous due to the days events but I knew Benji would never intentionally hurt me.

They left pretty quickly, but not before Joel had to pee. It was too cute, he apparently didn’t want to ask if he could use my bathroom (maybe he’s shy or something, he did seem pretty quite every time I saw him). I had to stifle a laugh as I watched him nervously shift about, trying to hold it in. The poor guy looked like he was on the verge of combusting. Benji had a smirk on his face as he watched his brother making a fool of himself by practically dancing around my living room. When I finally told him that he could go, he took off but realized he didn’t know where he was going. I laughed and told him where to go. After he came back, he thanked me profusely then explained that he didn’t want to use the bathroom at the police station because he was afraid of what (or who) he might find in there, not that I could blame him, I wouldn’t be too thrilled at the prospect myself. Then they finally left and I promised that I would call.

I sighed when I heard my phone ring, I didn’t want to move from my bed, I finally felt comfortable. Reluctantly, I pushed myself to get off of the bed and walked into the living room where the phone was sitting. Part of me thought it was Benji; hoping it was Benji but the rational side of me told me that it wasn’t.

“Hello,” I said softly.

“Angie, where have you been? I’ve been trying to call for hours,” my little sister Alana stated excitedly.

“I was at the police station,” I told her. Me and my sister were close despite the fact that I was so much older than her. Our close relationship allowed us to be able to talk with one another with ease. That made the fact that I had to tell her what happened to me a little easier. It didn’t make the pain and fear go away, but it helped.

“The police station? What the fuck happened Angie?” she demanded.

“I was attacked,” I said softly. “This guy tried to rape me.”

“Shit Angie. How’d you get away?”

“I kicked the guy and I ran away. Thankfully I ran into some guys who helped me. One of the guys actually chased after the guy who attacked me.”

“Wow, I was going to ask if I could spend the night at Chrissy’s house but I guess that wouldn’t be a good idea now.”

“It’s okay Ali, you can stay there if you want, I’ll be fine,” I assured her. I heard her say something to someone in the background that I couldn’t make out, then came back to the phone.

“I’m gonna come home,” she stated.

“Ali, don’t do that because of what happened. There isn’t anything you can do. Just stay there and enjoy yourself. Don’t let this bring you down. I’m fine and nothings gonna happen. Stay and have fun,” I urged her. I would feel terribly guilty if she came home because she felt that she had to. I wanted her to live as normally as possible and this wouldn’t help. “Please stay Ali.”

“Are you sure you don’t need me for anything?” She questioned, beginning to give in. I smiled myself, glad that at least one of us was going to be able to have at least a close to normal life.

“I’m fine. My arms are just a little sore from the guy holding me but it’s nothing that I can’t handle,” I admitted. I hadn’t told Benji about my sore arms, I didn’t want him to worry or anything. Besides it was nothing serious, it would be okay in a few days. I sighed silently to myself, here I was worrying about what Benji thought. Subconsciously, I had been playing with the sleeves if the hoodie I was wearing, that’s when I realized I still had Benji’s hoodie. That damn Benji, he was always finding his way into my mind. I shook Benji from my thoughts when I heard my sister speak.

“So it’s really okay if I stay?”

“Yeah and enjoy yourself. Just make sure that you guys don’t stay up too late because you’ve got school in the morning,” I told her. I sounded so much like my mother at that moment. My mom used to say things like that to me and it bothered the shit out of me but here I am, saying it to my little sister and I had a feeling that it might make her feel the same way, that was until she giggled.

“You sound like mom,” she informed me. I smiled to myself, it was almost as though she had read my mind. “It’s kinda scary,” she continued, becoming serious, “your voice almost sounded exactly like moms.”

“I was thinking the same exact thing,” I admitted. “When she used to say those things to me, I would get so annoyed and it almost like she was treating me like a little kid. I was afraid that you would think that I thought that about you.”

“Nah, I know you think better of me. You just care about me. Having to take care of me got that motherly instinct kicked in gear,” she reasoned. That was part of why I loved her so much, she was able to rationalize things when I wasn’t thinking clearly. She always made things seem so much easier. Bless that girl. Sometimes I wonder what I would do without her.

“I love you kid, you’re my rock,” I told her.

“Hey, anytime you need me, I’m all yours.”

“Thanks Ali. Now go have some fun and don’t worry about me,” I told her, not really wanting to hang up but I knew I had to. She needed to be a kid and enjoy herself.

“Alright, if you need me, Chrissy’s number is on speed dial.”

“Okay, have a good time.”

“I will, bye.”

“Bye,” I said as I hung up the phone. Once again I was cloaked in the deafening silence of my house. I had never hated the silence has much as I had at this moment. As a matter of fact, I used to long for the silence so that I could get some work done. Now I hated it more than anything. I looked around my living room. Everything was exactly where it was when I had left the house in the morning, but some how, it all seemed so different. I really don’t know how to explain it except that I wasn’t looking at everything the same way that I had before. Maybe I had a greater appreciation of everything. That would make sense considering what I had just experienced.

My eyes found there way to the note pad where Benji and Joel had jotted down their telephone numbers. Their handwriting was very similar; messy but just clear enough to read each number. My fingers clutched the phone tighter into my hand. I was contemplating whether or not I should call Benji. Already, I wanted to hear his voice again.

Stop it Angela, I told myself. I was acting like some love sick teenager who couldn’t keep their hormones in control. It was pathetic, it really was. I mean I had grown out of that stage some time ago. Okay, it wasn’t that long ago, but still. Besides, I knew he wasn’t thinking the same way about me. Why would he? It wasn’t as though he had a reason to be. I’m not all that pretty to begin with but there was no way that a guy like Benji would want to take on a girl like me who had just gone through hell. He could do way better. I didn’t doubt that for a second. I decided against calling Benji though I really wanted to. He probably wasn’t even home yet, I told myself shaking my head. Wow, I guess I’m totally loosing it. Yes, that must be it, I’ve lost my mind.

That seems to be the only reasonable explanation (at least it did to me, guess I would have to talk to Ali about this one). There could be no way that I could have such a connection to a guy that I had just met, connections don‘t just happen like that, at least they don‘t in real life, all of that shit is just in the movies. We hadn’t even talked very much because of the police questioning, we had been kept apart for a while before he had met up with me on the bench. The only kind of attraction to him that I could justify was a physical attraction because he was very good looking. He was the kind of guy that I was attracted to. He had tattoos all over every exposed portion of his skin. When he took his hoodie off and I saw his arms which were covered with tattoos. He had three piercings in his lower lip and one on his upper lip (his lips are so damn sexy and kissable, I had been tempted to kiss them once or twice already).

He wasn’t very tall, he was actually only about an inch or two taller than I was which was good because then I didn’t have to stretch and stand on my toes to kiss him (which I wanted to do and wanted to be able to do as often as I wanted to). He was at that perfect height. His build was perfect also (at least I thought it was perfect). He wasn’t fat but he also wasn’t too overly muscled. I wasn’t attracted to those men who had those really huge muscles like a lot of other women are. That’s just not my type I guess, it never has been either. I sighed myself, wondering what I was going to do about the feelings that I thought that I have for Benji. I guess I would figure it out what was going to happen as time went by, that was really the only thing that I could do.

~*~*~
Thanks for the reviews guys!! I actually have this story posted over at gcfanfics.com and its quite popular! Anyways, thanks for the reviews and keep 'em comin!

Chapter 4

I was awoken by the cool touch of metal on my wrists. I had no idea what it was that I was feeling. My eyes fluttered open and my glare was met by the cold and hateful stare of the man that had attempted to rape me back in the alleyway. My heart was pounding. How could he have found me? Did he follow us to the police station then followed me and the twins home? Suddenly, another flash of fear came to me. Could he have gone after Benji and Joel too? Joel would have been able to identify him, this man knew that. Guilt and regret flooded me. I got Benji and Joel into this. Anything that happened to them or would happen to them if he hadn’t already gotten to them, would be completely my fault. Suddenly, I was snapped from my thoughts when my pajamas were ripped from my body. The cool air hit my skin and a tear escaped from my eye because I knew what was going to happen to me.

His hands are all over my body, groping me. I feel so disgusting; so violated. The feel of his hands on my bare skin made me want to throw up. I could taste the bile in the back of my throat. Never in my life had I thought that this could happen to me, especially in my own home. The violation I am feeling at this moment is completely beyond words. The only good thing that came to my mind was the thankfulness that I had knowing that Ali had stayed at Chrissy’s house. She was safe, nothing was going to happen to her, he didn‘t even know that she existed. That was really the only thing that’s going to matter to me at the moment. That was the only thing that I was going to let my mind concentrate on. I tugged at the restraints which were holding me down but they were too tight.

I shuddered when he ran his tongue along my throat, slowly. The feeling or the impression of gentleness disgusted me even more. He was treating me as though I wanted this. It was almost as though he thought that I was going to get some enjoyment or pleasure from what he was doing to me. Gently, he cupped my breasts in his hands and rubbed his thumbs over my nipples. I pulled my eyes shut, not wanting to watch what he was doing to me.

“I’m going to show you what you’re missing out on and what you ran away from,” he whispered, running his tongue down my ear. His voice caused shivers to run up and down my spine. The sound of his voice was going to haunt me until I died, there would be no way that I would be able to forget it. I hoped he could kill me when he was done with me. As harsh as that sounds, I still wanted it. There was no way that I would be able to live with the knowledge of what he had done to me; to my body. With everyday, every second that I survived past this, I would be slowly dying inside, there would be no way that I would be able to handle that. I wasn’t strong enough in any capacity.

I felt his weight shift at he moved to take off his shirt and pants. I choked back a sob. Please, my mind pleaded, don’t do this to me. I was losing the very little composure that I had. My emotions were running high and fear was coursing through me with such force that I thought that I was going to explode. When I heard him rip open the condom wrapper, I lost the little bit of control that I had left in me.

“Oh god, please no,” I yelled. Suddenly, there was a stinging across my face. He had slapped me. That stupid mother fucker slapped me. Just a moment ago he was being gentle with me, I guess that’s part of the way that these sick fuckers think. They don’t really care about how their victims feel even though they think they are doing them some sort of service.

“Keep your fucking mouth shut bitch,” he demanded.

“Don’t do this to me.” His hands immediately went to my throat and I could feel my oxygen supply being cut off.

“I told you to keep your fucking mouth shut,” he said roughly. I shut my eyes and bit my lip when his hands pulled away from my throat. There wasn’t anything that I could do and I knew it. I was on the brink of hyperventilating, I knew my lungs weren’t getting as much air as they needed. He was positioning himself at my opening and tears poured from my eyes uncontrollably because I knew there was no stopping this man. I screamed when he roughly pushed himself deep inside of my body. He penetrated more than my body, he penetrated my soul, he made me wish I was dead. His thrusts were hard and fast and they hurt more than anything that I had ever felt in my life. I could feel the warmth of my own blood between my legs as he kept his pace, ignoring my cries of pain.

“You’re so tight you fucking little slut,” he growled into my ear. This comment only served to make me cry even harder. He added insult to injury. Once again, I hoped that he would kill me once he was done with me. Part of me wanted to plead with him to kill me, but I refrained because for some reason, I didn’t want to make myself look pathetic in front of him. I know how stupid that sounds but for some reason, it was how I felt. Was this part of the power that he now seemed to have over me? Was this what happened to all rape victims or was I the only one stupid enough to let it happen?

I was snapped from my thoughts when I felt this mans teeth latch onto my right breast and bite down roughly. I screamed from the sheer shock and immense pain that this caused me. He laughed at my reaction and bit down again. I whimpered in pain. My lower body was beginning to go numb. I could barely feel his continuous thrusting or the pain of his fingers digging tightly into my ass to hold my body in place. I closed my eyes tightly and I willed myself to think about something else, anything else. My mind wanted to be some place else, it didn’t want to experience what my body was going through.

Benji was what came to mind. Not what this man might have done to Benji but what might have happened between me and Benji if none of this had ever happened and we met under different, more normal, circumstances. I wondered if we would have hit it off right away or would it have taken some time? Would we like the same things? Would we always have stuff to talk about? Would he still want to protect me even if this didn’t happen? Would he feel a need to protect me even?

Would I feel as though I needed to be protected more? We would never know that because I was going through this. Benji and I didn’t meet under better circumstances. He helped save me from being raped, at least for a little while anyway. I wish I would have asked him to stay here with me or if I could go stay with him just until I felt a little more relaxed. I didn’t want to admit it to Benji or to Ali or even to myself before but I was very nervous about spending the night alone. Part of me expected this to happen to me or at least was worried about it happening. What a cruel twist of fate, huh? It makes me wonder if it was written in my destiny that I was supposed to be raped by this horrible man.

I wondered what would happen to him after this. Would the police find him because of Joel’s description or would he still be running free, raping other women? For some reason, I had a feeling that if Joel had any say about this mans future, it wouldn’t last too long. Why couldn’t there be more men like Benji and Joel out there? They were truly good men. They seemed to genuinely care about the well being of other people. I guess it’s that balance between good and evil on this earth. On one hand, there were really good men out there, like Benji and Joel and on the other, you had these sick, evil bastards out there like my attacker.

Why did we need evil anyway? It’s not like it did anything but put people through a lot of needless pain, a form of pain that I was being exposed to right now. I heard my attacker grunt loudly and once again I was brought back into the reality that I wanted to ignore. He was starting to speed up and I knew that he was close to coming to his climax which meant that this would all be over pretty soon. I heard him groan loudly once his climax hit. He immediately pulled out of me and dressed, not that I was expecting anything different. My eyes fell shut, exhaustion taking over my body quickly. It seemed to be a mixture of emotional and physical exhaustion.

“Hey baby,” my attacker shouted harshly and angrily (why he was angry baffled me, I really should have been the one that was angry because of what I had just been put through because of this ass hole), causing me to open my eyes quickly. “It’s been fun but I’m done with you now,” he said as he pulled a gun out of his pocket and aimed it at me. The next thing I knew, my world was going black and my body was burning from the pain. I heard him laugh as he walked out of my bedroom, leaving me there, exposed, restrained and dying.

Chapter 5

My eyes fluttered open and I scanned my surroundings. At first my mind didn’t seem to register where I was but I soon realized that I was in my bedroom, laying on my bed. Nervously, I ran my hands over my body, which was drenched in sweat, to check for signs of the assault that it had endured the night before, but I found nothing. Even the gun shot that I had sustained had seemed to have miraculously healed over night. That’s when it dawned on me, the entire episode had been nothing more than a dream, a very vivid and way too realistic dream, but a dream none the less. I looked over at the clock, it was eight in the morning. At least I had slept the entire night, I thought to myself. I’d half expected to be waking up very couple of hours or so from fear. I guess my imagination took care of the fear for me. Shutting my eyes, I took a deep breath and released it, hoping to calm my nerves.

Exhaustedly, I brought my hands to my head and ran my fingers through my hair which I found soaked in sweat. I sighed at this. I couldn’t believe that I was already having nightmares; nightmares that had such an affect on me physically and mentally. Shit, I couldn’t believe that I was having nightmares to begin with, nothing had actually happened to me. Benji and the guys had intervened before anything could happen. Benji. If the whole thing had been a dream, that meant that Benji was alright. For some reason I felt relieved at this realization. Relief that I was alright hadn’t even completely set in yet and here I was worrying about whether this stranger was alright.

Hell, who was I kidding? I already felt like I’ve known Benji forever and I don’t even know anything about him. Just a few days ago if you had said to me that I would be feeling that about someone I had just met by the end of the week I would have had to fight back the urge to bitch slap you because in my mind, at least in my state of mind at that time, things like that didn’t happen, they just couldn’t happen. That was all of that Hollywood bullshit that movies are made of, you know, those things that most women swoon over when they see then they dream about it happening to them one day. They imagine that fairy tale ending where the valiant knight comes to the rescue of a bruised and frightened princess and saves her from danger and everything is suddenly perfect and they live happily ever after.

Now I believe that shit, I know that’s pretty fucking stupid right? I’m definitely not living a fairy tale that’s for damn sure because my life has been anything but a fairy tale. I’ve been faced with hurdle after hurdle and dealt with so much shit that I can hardly believe that I have even the slightest emotional strength left in me. I guess that humans really are as resilient as people say we are. Well, at least I hope we are. I rubbed my eyes after I pushed myself into a sitting position on my bed. I wanted to talk to Benji but I needed to go get his phone number. I walked down the stairs and into the living room where the pad that Benji had written his number was still sitting. I reached for the phone and dialed in his number.

“Hello?” a groggy Benji answered after a few rings.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” I asked. Of course you did dumb ass, I told myself, people don’t sound like that when they’ve been up for a while.

“Yeah, but it’s okay, I don’t mind. What’s up?” He asked, his voice perking up a bit.

“What are you doing right now?” I incurred.

“Nothing, why?”

“Because I want you to come over. I want to talk to you about something but I don’t want to do it over the phone,” I told him seriously. I could hear him moving around on the bed after I had spoken.

“Alright, I’ll be over in like a half hour,” he told me.

“Thanks Benji.”

“No problem,” he replied then hung up. I pressed the end button on my phone and sighed. I was going to tell Benji about my dream. He was really the only one that I wanted to tell it to. I didn’t even want to talk to my sister about it, she didn’t need to hear about all of that. She didn’t need to know what might have happened to me yesterday in that alley. Benji was there, he already had an idea of what would have happened had he and the guys not been there. I put the phone down and went back upstairs. I needed to take a shower before Benji got here. I was probably beginning to smell from all of the sweat that covered my body. I walked into my bedroom and pulled out some clean clothes. I had settled on wearing just sweats and a loose fitting t-shirt. After the day that I had yesterday, all I wanted to be was comfortable. I was glad that I didn’t have to get dressed for work. While I was at the station yesterday, one of the officers had called my boss and she gave me as much time off as I needed. I was probably only going to take a couple of days just so that I could get my thoughts together enough to be able to work a full day.

I walked into my bathroom and turned on the hot water in my shower and let it run for a minute, letting it heat up. I turned and looked at myself in the mirror. For some reason, I didn’t know what to expect, I had a strange feeling that I wouldn’t recognize myself. When I finally confronted my reflection, I saw myself. I looked like shit with dark bags under my eyes, my skin was a lighter tone than usual and my hair was a complete mess. My eyes themselves seemed different though. There was something to them now that wasn’t there before this happened. Who the hell knew that that was exactly because realistically it could be a number of things. It could be the great distrust that I have for society that I had inherited from my experience just the day before. It could be the fear that has now seemed to have taken control of my senses. The more I thought about it, the more reasons there seemed to be for this sudden change.

Once the stream started to fill the bathroom, I reached into the shower and adjusted the temperature by turning on the cold water. After a moment or so of fiddling with the knobs, the water was finally at the perfect temperature, not too hot but not too cold either. It was just perfect. I took off Benji’s hoodie and let it drop to the floor (I really needed to give it back to him. Maybe I’ll put it in the wash and have it clean for him. I’m gonna probably be talking to him for a while any way so it’ll be ready before he leaves). I took off the rest of my clothes and stepped into the shower.

My dream last night made me feel so dirty. I wanted to clean the feeling from my body. I sighed, knowing that if a dream could have this affect on me, there would be no telling what I would be going through if he had actually raped me. I grabbed the bar of soap and vigorously started to run it across my body, hoping to wash way the feeling of violation on my skin. I rubbed until my skin turned red. I scrubbed my entire body the same way. Finally, when I felt that I was clean enough, at least as clean as I thought that I was going to be before Benji got here. I turned off the water and reached out for my towel. I dried myself off quickly and got dressed. I ended up putting Benji’s hoodie back on (so much for cleaning it). Just as I walked out of the bathroom the doorbell rang. I quickly made my way down the stairs and to the front door. Opening it, I saw Benji standing there with his hands in his pockets.

“Come on in,” I told him softly. He smiled gently and stepped inside of the house. I guided him into my living room where he took a seat on the couch. “Thanks for coming.”

“Hey, you said you needed to talk to me and I told you that I was there for you when you needed me,” he replied kindly. I looked over at him and sat down on the chair opposite the couch.

“I had a really bad dream last night,” I told him, getting straight to the point. I really didn’t want to drag this whole thing out. “I dreamed that they guy who attacked me had followed me home and raped me.”

“It was only a bad dream,” he told me, obviously sensing the fear that had washed over me when I spoke about the dream. “Dreams can’t hurt you ya know?”

“This one was so real,” I replied with a tear rolling down my cheek. “I could feel him touching me and it was so fucking horrible. When I woke up this morning, at first I didn’t know that the whole thing had been a dream. I was checking for the bruises. In the dream, he had shot me and I touched myself, looking for the wound to see how bad it was, but it was gone. Before that, I could have sworn that it actually happened to me. I was so scared for you because I thought that if he had followed me home then he might have followed you and Joel home and I thought that he would do something to you guys,” I admitted, my tears flowing freely. He looked into my eyes, and I could see the sincere concern that he had for me.

“Come here,” he said patting the empty seat on the couch next to him. I sniffled and moved over. When I sat down, Benji pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me. I sighed into his chest. “You’re gonna be alright and the police are gonna get this ass hole. He’s not going to come after you again.”

“I know, I’m just so scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared,” he said softly. “Everyone gets scared at some point in their lives.”

“Even you?” I asked.

“Even me,” he replied.

“What scares you?”

“A lot of things. I usually don’t get afraid for myself because if I did, I wouldn’t be where I am right now because I would have been too scared to do some of the things that I needed to. I usually get scared for the people in my life. They’re all important to me and I want to make sure that they are safe and happy at all times. Sometimes I get scared thinking about what might happen to the people I care about if I can’t do anything to help them,” he admitted. I snuggled closer to him, wanting to feel the safety I felt in them yesterday.

“You’re a good person Benji,” I stated. “I’m really glad that it was you that saved me. You’re really helping me.”

“I’m glad I can help,” he told me. “When I got home last night, I was thinking about you and what’s gonna happen to you. Ummm.. I just want to be sure that you’re okay, so I was thinking, do you think you’re gonna need some kind of therapy or something?”

“Benji, I really don’t know right now. Honestly, I’m not sure I can talk to anyone because I’m having a lot of trouble trusting people right now,” I admitted. He pulled his arms a little tighter around me.

“That’s fine, but if you ever need any kind of therapy, I can pick up the tab…”

“Benji that’s completely unnecessary,” I replied immediately, pulling out of his arms so that I could look at him face to face.

“I know it’s unnecessary but I want to do something to help you…”

“You’re already helping me more than you know,” I replied. He looked at me and licked his lips. I wanted to lean over and kiss him but I held back because I didn‘t want to scare him anyway because right now, I really needed him. Suddenly there was an awkward silence between us and it was becoming unbearable. I shifted a little. “I just…” I started then stopped myself.

“Just what?” he said.

“It’s nothing.”

“You can talk to me about anything ya know,” he said, his voice assuring. That’s when I decided that I didn’t want to hold back any more. I had almost died last night. I had almost lost everything. I was able to see that I should be more grateful for the things that I had. Benji was one of those new things and I wanted to enjoy him as much as I could. I leaned forward and brought my lips roughly onto his.

Chapter 6

Oh my god, what am I doing? I thought when my lips reached Benji’s. He’s probably going to think I’m crazy. What the hell happened to me? Just a minute ago I was telling myself to behave because I need Benji to stick around for a while. I need his friendship. I’ve definitely fucked up. Suddenly and surprisingly (at least to me), I felt Benji respond. He put his arms around me to pull me closer to his body and onto his lap. Benji ran his tongue over my lips silently asking for entrance and I didn’t deny this to him. Once our tongues met, they dueled passionately. This kiss was making me crazy.

I was feeling things I’ve never felt before. Now this was no where near my first kiss. I’m twenty-three and have had more than my fare share of kisses but this one definitely takes the cake. I moaned into his mouth when I felt his hand gently slide up my hoodie (we, his hoodie actually) in search of the feeling of bare skin. I loved the feeling of his hands on my body, it made me forget about everything except me and him. I pulled my lips away from Benji’s and rested my forehead on his with my eyes shut. Quickly, he kissed my lips again, this time it was only a quick peck.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since we were sitting on the bench in the police station yesterday,” Benji admitted, his voice nothing more than a whisper. “But I was afraid. I didn’t want to scare you away. I mean you went through a lot of shit yesterday and I thought that if I made any moves you would think that I was taking advantage of you. Hell, if I had just been attacked, I wouldn’t appreciate some stranger putting the moves on me. It would make me feel uncomfortable and I didn’t wanna do that to you.”

“You’re a great kisser,” I muttered and we both laughed.

“Hey, you’re not too bad yourself,” he replied.

“What’s going to happen from here,” I questioned seriously, getting straight to the point. I really wanted to know where me and Benji stood now. From what he just said to me, about wanting to kiss me, made me think he wanted a relationship and surprisingly, I was willing to give that to him. I was willing to give myself to him completely and I had never done that before nor was I ever willing to do it before. I can’t explain the control that Benji has over me, I doubt he even knew that he even had that control.

“I don’t know..” he stated. “It’s up to you. I wanna be with you but you have to wanna be with me too. You need to feel like you’re ready for a relationship. Shit about what happened is gonna get to you and that might affect how you act towards me…”

“Never,” I interrupted. “You’re the reason why I’m alive. You saved me Benji and no matter what happens, I will always be grateful to you for that. You’re always going to be special to me,” I told him, looking into his eyes. “I want to be with you. I’m ready to be with you. Shit, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. You’re all I’ve been thinking about.”

“Look,” Benji said, running his thumb across my cheek, “I’m yours and you’re stuck with me babe, and I promise that I am going to treat you like a queen. Anything you want or need, you got it…” Benji’s words were comforting to me. He always seemed to know exactly what I needed to hear, but I don’t need nor do I want him to hand things to me like he said he would. I am old enough to take of myself. Besides, I’ve been able to take care of myself before Benji and I would be able to take care of myself after Benji. That was something that I prided myself on.

“Benji, you don’t have to..” I started but was cut off when Benji put his finger on my lips, silencing me.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to because you deserve it.”

“How do you know what I deserve Benji? I don’t want you to act a certain way because you feel bad for me. I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m not pitying you,” he said immediately. His voice sounded hurt. I felt bad for reacting like that but I needed to make sure that my feelings were known. I don’t want to be trapped in a relationship where the man doesn’t know my feelings.

“I know you aren’t,” I replied earnestly. “Look, I didn’t mean to sound so harsh but I needed you to know how I felt.”

“I wanna give you everything because you’re my girl now and I always treat my girls good, I always take good care of them,” he said softly. “I want to be a good guy and make you happy.”

“Benji, all I need to be happy right now is you,” I stated. “As long as I have you around to talk to and stuff, I’ll be happy. I’m happy knowing that if I have a bad dream or get scared by something silly, you’ll be there to make sure I’m okay.”

“I’ll always be there,” he whispered to me. I let out a deep breath and moved my head to rest on his shoulder. He moved his arms around my waist and I smiled at the sensation that they were giving to me.

“Things have just been so hard for me,” I blurted out.

“I know they have.”

“I didn’t know what the hell was going to happen after my folks died. I thought that was the end of the world. I mean, how was I going to be able to take care of my sister? I wasn’t too worried about myself, it was her that I was worried about more than anything. I knew if I didn’t step up and show that I could take care of her, the state could take her away and she’d have to live in some shitty place where no one cares about you. I couldn’t do that to her, I couldn’t do that to myself. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that because I wasn’t good enough to take care of her,” I vented through my tears. I hadn’t admitted this to anyone before and as I spoke, it felt like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

“You’re a great person Ang,” Benji replied, “so I know you’re doing your best but don’t stress yourself out too much alright? You’ve got me to help you out when you need it and I’m sure your sister is helping out too.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” I asked Benji, closing my eyes, letting his smell enter my senses and relax me, there was something about the way that he smelt that had the calming affect on me, maybe it was because he gave me his hoodie which was completely engulfed in his essence and that gesture of kindness was exactly what I needed at the moment. My fingers were lazily running up and down his chest as he laughed.

“You know what, I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

~*~*~*~
whoooo a new chapter

Chapter 7

Things have a funny way of working out. Yesterday night when I was running down that dark and desolate alley I thought my life was going to be coming to an abrupt end and now here I am laying in the warmth and strength of Benji’s arms. I could hear his quiet snoring behind me and I smiled to myself. He was so cute. I guess the movie that was playing on the television had bored him to sleep. I couldn’t blame him though, the move did suck. I was one of those sappy, overly dramatic romance movies. We could have easily changed the channel but by the time the show we were watching had ended, we were both way too comfortable to move, even to get the remote control which was only mere inches away.

I shut my eyes, allowing myself to become completely relaxed in his arms. I probably would have fallen asleep myself hadn’t it been for the fact that every time that I closed my eyes my mind replayed my dream from the night before. I could spend the rest of my days like this. There was something about comforting about the way his arms felt. Many of my friends may be fearful of his arms because of the many tattoos but I didn’t care. I was happy with him, I didn’t care what other people think about our relationship, he’s good for me. I’m jumping to conclusions and I know it, no one has even met Benji yet, besides, my friends aren’t close minded. They were open to new things. My friends aren’t the issue, I told myself, my sister is. She has to like him and be able to deal with me and Benji’s relationship. She was really the only one that mattered.

Everything was just happening so fast all of a sudden. There was no way that I could prepare for the whirlwind of events that had recently occurred in my life. I concentrated on the feeling of Benji’s arms wrapped around me. I was grateful for his presents, I was asked him to stay with me because I didn’t want to be in the house alone. We had talked for a while and I think we really got to know each other and I think that helped us to click even more. We were similar but different. We were just the right mixture of similarities and differences that we were great together. I opened my eyes and glanced over at the clock. It was two already and that meant that Ali would home soon.

“Benj,” I said softly, trying to wake the man that was quickly becoming my prince charming. I laughed to myself, I had really changed in the past day. When I didn’t get a response, I lightly jabbed my elbow into Benji’s stomach.

“Ow, what the fuck did you do that for?” Benji grumbled.

“My sister is going to be home soon and I want you to meet her,” I replied.

“Really? Or is it that you just didn’t want her walking in on us laying here on the couch and think that a little sum thin’ sum thin’ happened,” Benji replied wiggling his eye brows suggestively. I smiled and shook my head.

“No, I didn’t want her to wonder why there was some strange bum sleeping on our couch,” I answered, reluctantly pulling myself from Benji’s grip.

“Oh so now I’m a bum?”

“Weren’t you always?” I remarked with a smile on my face. He smiled back at me.

“Honey I’m home!” came the sudden shouting of my sister. I smiled, glad that she was still acting like herself. Part of me was worried that she was get too worried about me and that would effect her some how.

“Hey Ali, we‘re in the living room,” I called down the hall as I heard her then direct her footsteps towards the living room.

“Oh so I get to meet the mystery savior dude,” she said as she walked up to me and pulled me into a big hug. It had been a long time since she had done anything like this so I was really taken back by the gesture.

“Ali this is..” I started as she turned to get a look at Benji but before I could say anything, she cut me off.

“Benji Madden,” she stated. I was surprised at first then I remembered that Benji had told me that he had music videos on MTV, I guess Ali knew of them.

“You must be Ali,” Benji stated even though that had been well established. He walked over towards us with his hand extended, waiting for Ali to take his hand. After a second she did but I was a little alarmed by the delay in her actions. I couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing. She could hate him and that’s why she didn’t wanna be nice or she could have just been so shocked by the fact that there’s a “rock star” in our house. Oh how I hoped it was the latter.

“Yep,” she replied. “Thanks for saving my sister. I don’t know what I would do without her. I really owe you.” Silently, I let out a sigh of relief, this wasn’t going to be a negative experience.

“Hey I was only doing the right thing, helping someone when they really needed it. It was nothing,” he said, playing down the events. Ali smiled at him and shook her head.

“That right thing saved my sister,” she stated seriously. “Not a lot of people would have stopped to help because they would have been afraid that they would get hurt or in trouble or something.”

“I’m not a lot of people,” he replied.

“Thankfully.” I smiled to myself. This was good, Ali was accepting him. My nerves had began to relax, I made it past the one hurdle that could have changed everything. “So what are your intentions with my sister now?” Ali questioned suddenly. Benji seemed to be taken back by the forwardness of the question especially since it was coming from a fourteen year old girl.

“I intend to love her,” Benji stated, turning to look directly into my eyes. I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he spoke. Honestly, I didn’t expect him to answer her question and by the look on Ali’s face, she hadn’t expected an answer either. Or at least, she didn’t expect a serious answer or one as serious as the one that he was giving. I have to admit, his words sent chills up my spine. “I intend on keeping her safe from harm and I intend on making her mine.”

“Well that’s fine by me,” Ali stated as she looked towards me. She smiled when she noticed that I was looking directly at Benji. She turned her attention towards Benji. “Well Madden, your girlfriends sister is a big fan of your band so you have to get her into a show every now and again.”

“I think I can arrange that,” he answered, breaking our eye contact to look at my sister. I turned to look at her too. Her smile grew when he answered.

“Awesome!”

“You just have to make sure that your sister comes with you to join in on all the fun,” Benji stated, winking at me. Ali must have seen this because her grin grew even more.

“I think she’s already in on all of the fun.”

Benji smirked before commenting, “The fun hasn’t even started yet, trust me.” I felt my face turning red. I was so embarrassed by that comment because I knew what Benji was insinuating. Normally, it wouldn’t have bothered me, but my sister was standing right there and as close as we were, I‘ve never shared the details about my sex life with her. She was fourteen for gods sake. Benji must have seen the blush creeping on my face because he winked at me again.

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone to have all the fun you want,” Ali stated as she looked from Benji to me. “Just keep it down, I’ve got homework to do.”

“Ali!” I shouted from pure shock and embarrassment. I could only imagine how red my face had gotten in the last few moments.

“Hey, I was just kidding,” she replied, putting her arms up defensively as she turned around and walked away. A small laugh escaped Benji’s lips when he heard Ali’s footsteps on the stairs.

“What’s so funny?” I asked him.

“Your sister,” he replied, a smile still plastered on his face. “I mean you have to admit that the idea she got was only natural since when she came home, we were passed out on the couch.”

“We were not sleeping on the couch! I woke you up remember?”

“Yeah okay, well we look like we were passed out on the couch,” he stated. He was right. For the first time I noticed that his shirt looked all wrinkled and his pants were twisted in a weird way. I could only imagine what I looked like. God, Ali has a dirty mind, I thought to myself as the realization of what she must have thought finally came to me.

“Oh god,” I said, slightly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, I mean she wouldn’t blame you. Who could? No one could turn down all this!” Benji stated as he pointed at himself.

“You conceded mother fucker,” I muttered.

“Call me what you want but you know you want this,” he said smiling at me.

“I’ll call you later Benji,” I said, not knowing what else to say to him. I’m sure he needed to go and I just didn’t want to tell him to get out. How would that sound?

“What? You throwing me out now?”

“You’ve been here all day, someone has to be looking for you,” I reasoned.

“They would have called my cell phone,” he countered.

“You wouldn’t have heard it.”

“I would have felt it, I have it on vibrate,” he said and suddenly a large grin appeared on his face yet again and his eyebrows moved suggestively as he said, “unless you got a little somethin' to play with while I was asleep.”

“Benjamin!”

“What!? I was only kidding!” he said he laughter uncontrollable now.

“You know what, get out!” I said as a few laughs escaped my lips.

“Alright fine, I know when I’m not wanted!” he replied as he started to move towards the door. “I’ll call you later and we’ll do something one night, how’s that sound?”

“Sounds great.”

Chapter 8

“You really like him don’t you?” Ali questioned from behind me. I hadn’t even heard her come back downstairs after Benji left. I turned around and looked at her, smiling.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked her.

“If you posted it on a billboard on the highway, it would be less obvious,” she joked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Real funny.”

“But seriously,” Ali said as she started to follow me into the living room, “I’m happy for you. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you this happy about anything and he seems sincere about wanting to be with you too.”

“And you like him?” I asked, wanting to be sure that she was okay with us being together. She looked at me with a weird look on her face which I couldn‘t quite read.

“Of course I like him,” she replied, “he saved your life. I would like anyone that saved your life. Besides, I always thought that he was freakin’ gorgeous, Joel too, I mean I do have a few of his posters hanging on my wall.”

“You do?” I questioned. She laughed at me, like she expected me to know who‘s posters she had on her walls. I just never paid any attention to that kind of thing.

“Yeah, they’ve been there for a while. I am a fan of the band that he’s in.”

“I’ve never knew that,” I replied honestly as I sat down on the couch and reached for the remote control.

“Spend some more time in my room and you woulda,” she replied sitting down next to me. I turned on the TV and started to flip through the channels. Silence fell over us as we sat on the couch together. “So, when are you going to see him again?”

“He said that he would call me and we would arrange something,” I replied.

“Awesome,” she replied softly, letting the silence fall over us again. She sighed and I could tell that she wanted to say something to me but couldn’t find the right words. I didn’t say anything, I just let her find her words, she’s good that at. “Are you gonna tell me about what happened the other night?” she finally asked me. Now it was my turn to sigh.

“Nothing happened that you can’t figure out for yourself,” I answered her. Part of me wasn’t ready to relive those events again especially after that I dream I had. I was actually surprised that I was able to get it out to Benji when now I was finding so much difficulty with the same topic with my own sister. Maybe it was because that he was there, he knew and saw almost everything.

“Keeping it inside isn’t gonna help you feel any better,” she responded. I turned to her and saw the concern in her eyes. This was how it started. I was going to get pity from my family and friends and then everyone who subsequently found out about my ordeal.

“I’m not keeping it inside.”

“Well, you’re not talking about it.”

“I’m just not talking about it with you,” I said. Immediately I felt bad for saying that. Me and Ali had always had an open relationship. She looked at me with a sad and disappointed look in her eyes, a look I rarely ever saw. I felt incredibly guilty. “Ali..”

“No,” she interrupted, “you don’t wanna talk about it with me, you’d rather just talk to Benji about it.”

“Alana, you don’t know how hard this is for me to talk about,” I suddenly blurted. Something in me told me that if I didn’t clear things up with my sister, I would be forced to end my relationship with Benji. Like I’ve always said, my sister comes first and if she feels that he may be a threat then for her sake, I’ll let him go. “The only reason why I can even remotely mention anything to Benji is because he was there! He saw me in the worst spot that any woman could ever be in. In his eyes, how could I be any worse?”

“He doesn’t think that about you,” she replied softly. “I just..” she started, then quickly stopped.

“You just what?” I prompted. “You know you can talk to me about anything. You’re just going to have to give me a little time to talk to you about what I went through. I promise that I’ll open up, you just have to give me time.”

“I just wanna know if you’re okay,” she admitted. “I hardly got any sleep last night because I was worried about you and what you must be going through and it hurts me. I hate to know that you’re feeling pain, even if you won’t admit to me that you’re feeling it. A sister knows, trust me. I know you don’t want me to worry too much about you but I can’t help it, you’re all that I’ve got left,” she finished, tearing up. I felt tears threatening to escape my eyes as well. I leaned over and embraced my sister, knowing that both of us needed this. We needed to get these emotions out.

“You’re never gonna lose me,” I whispered into her hair. I pulled my eyes shut tightly to help keep myself from crying. It hurt me to know that my sister thought that she might lose me. I had always assumed that she knew that I was always going to be at her side. My heart broke because of her words.

“I came so close to losing you last night,” she replied. “I hate knowing that something like that could happen to our family again just pulls me apart.”

“God knew that and that was why He didn’t take me,” I replied. I had never been a very religious person but this was the only explanation that seemed reasonable to me. People say that things happen to for a reason. Maybe I was meant to met Benji, he was the reason why that night happened. God was trying to put us together, trying to tell us that we were supposed to have a relationship. I’m not gonna say that God thought that we were meant to be because maybe Benji was just some angel that was going to save me physically and emotionally, show me that love and romance does exist. Also, this brought whole thing me and my sister closer, she was finally able to admit to me how she was feeling. It had only been hours since this happened and already it was causing ripples in my life, though they were ripples of welcomed change. I guess this is that silver lining that everyone always talks about finding.

“But why would he punish you like that?” she questioned, her grip around me becoming tighter.

“They always say what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, maybe He was trying to make me stronger so that I can better take care of you,” I surmised. “He wanted me to be able to make it through the rough times.” A lot of what I said, was said as a way to convince myself what I was telling Ali was the truth. In my heart I felt it was the truth but there was still something had was holding me back from completely embracing those feelings.

“I’ve got homework,” Ali said, pulling out of my arms. I looked at her and brushed away the few stray tears that had made it on her cheeks with my thumbs and smiled at her. She weakly smiled back.

“I’ll always be here for you,” I said.

“I know."

Chapter 9

I laid in my bed with the covers pulled tightly over my body. It was well into the afternoon but I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Not having to go to work defeated the purpose and there wasn’t anything for me to do around the house. I couldn’t go out because I didn’t feel completely safe being outside alone there were just too many negative thoughts going through my mind every time that I even thought about stepping foot outside so I eventually just gave up on the whole idea entirely. So here I was, laying in my bed at one o’clock in the afternoon, hoping that Benji would call me. I know that I could just call him but I didn’t want to see desperate or clingy, that might frighten him off. Sure he seemed sincere about wanting to be with me but I still had some apprehensions and I was just trying to be careful with my emotions but I knew no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn’t be able to escape Benji, not that I wanted to, because I knew that he had a strong hold over me and anything he asked me to do, I would do. It sounds completely crazy.

I’d spent half the night thinking about me and Benji considering that I couldn’t get any sleep since every time I closed my eyes, the nightmare from the night before started to play in my head again. Things are going insanely fast with Benji. I’ve only known him a matter of days and we were already dating, strange under normal circumstances, now factor in my attack and you have a relationship that might seem so far fetched that no one would believe our story. Personally, I can barely believe that this is happening. Not that I’m complaining about Benji, I’m glad that he’s in my life, he seems so- I know this is gonna sound corny- but he seems so perfect. I had to laugh at that thought. I was already calling this man perfect and I hardly knew anything about him. At the moment, the only real thing that tied us together was my attack. If that hadn’t happened we’d have nothing; we wouldn’t have each other. For some strange reason, that thought scared me.

“I must be crazy,” I muttered to myself.

“I wouldn’t say so,” a male voice replied. I turned in my bed quickly to see who was there, ready to attack if need be. Slowly, everything that had happened to me had begun to work itself into my mind and I felt that I always needed to be ready to pounce. It’s not a healthy life style, I know, but for now, it’s the one that I feel most comfortable with. My heart calmed when I saw that it was Benji standing in my bedroom doorway.

“How’d you get in?” I asked him.

“I guess your sister didn’t lock the door after she left for school this morning because it was open,” Benji replied, leaning against the frame of the door, “so I didn’t think that you would mind if I just let myself in.”

“You know you scared the living shit out of me, right?”

“Sorry,” he said honestly. He was quiet for a moment but suddenly spoke up. “You feel like spending some time with me?”

“Aren’t I doing that now?” I asked with a smirk on my face. He rolled his eyes, smiling back at me.

“I mean, do you want to go out and get something to eat maybe,” he responded. “Or we could just walk around the park and just talk.”

“I don’t feel like going outside today,” I told him. He looked slightly disappointed. I looked at him before saying, “but that doesn’t mean that you can’t spend some time with me. I mean we can talk here and there‘s food in the kitchen.”

“Ok,” he replied. I smiled at him, he’s just so damn adorable. Everything about him was extremely attractive. His lips were my favorite though. I’ve always been a lip woman, I just love a beautiful set of lips and Benji definitely had a beautiful set of lips.

“Come on, come lay with me,” I stated. He looked at me for a moment first, probably checking to see if I was serious or not. Or maybe he was afraid he was going to invade my personal space. Gee, that didn’t seem to matter to him yesterday when he had me on his lap and when we eventually ended up falling asleep on the couch. “I don’t bite,” I said, patting a space next to me. Benji smiled and walked over to sit next to me on my bed. As I was laying there, I looked up at him and smiled, how did I get this lucky again?

“How’d ya sleep?” he asked running his thumb across my check. I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling that this simple gesture gave me.

“Not so well,” I replied honestly. “Every time I was just about to fall asleep, that fucking nightmare played through my mind.”

“It didn’t bother you yesterday on the couch.”

“You were here to protect me,” I answered. He looked at me for a moment.

“Do you want me to spend the night?” he asked. “If it helps you sleep, I don’t mind at all.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Well, you’re not asking, I’m offering,” he replied seriously.

“You don’t even have any extra clothes,” I reasoned. He laughed softly.

“We could go to my place and I can get some,” he answered. “It’s not like I’m a million miles away from here.”

“I’m not exactly prepared for the outside world at the moment,” I told him, motioning my arm over my attire which was basically an old t-shirt and a worn out pair of sweat pants that had become my pajamas. The t-shirt even had a few stains on it that I couldn’t identify or remove in the wash. The gray sweat pants I was wearing even had a few holes in them. Basically, I looked like a bum.

“You look great,” Benji stated. I wanted to smack him upside the head and asked it he’s had his eyes checked recently because I have no idea what he was seeing, but it was definitely not something attractive.

“Are you crazy? I look like a bum!”

“A cute bum.”

“Benjamin!”

“What!?” he questioned defensively with a smile on his face. I smacked him lightly on the arm and he pouted. “Ouch.”

“Ya big baby,” I mocked as I climbed out of my bed. “I’m gonna take a shower then I guess we can go get you some clothes from your place,” I stated as I walked over to my dresser and started gathering clothing to wear. Nothing special, just something that didn’t make me look like a bum. I settled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I walked into the bathroom that was connected to my room and shut and locked the door. I didn’t want Benji to come in after me, not that I thought that he would. He’s very well aware of what happened to me and he really seems to want to take care of me. But still, no matter how I wanted to trust him completely, there was a small part of me that wouldn’t completely allow myself to do that.

Repercussions from the attack were starting to take control of my mind, my guess is that this started happening sometime during the night because yesterday, I wouldn’t have locked the door. I know I wouldn’t have. I turned on the water and let it run for a moment. Was I starting to push Benji away already? That was the last thing that I wanted to do but some how it seems like my mind was starting to do just that. The change was subtle but it was there. I stripped my clothing from my body and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water run down my body. I had woken up several time last night and each time I found myself in the shower scrubbing my body until it was red. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t get the feel of my attacker off of me, even though he hadn’t actually rapped me, the way he’d groped me had done the same damage.

Looking down at my hands and my body, I realized that I had been scrubbing myself furiously and my skin was quickly becoming red and raw again. I let the bar of soap fall out of my hand and hit the tiled floor. I’d expected myself to shower like that, I had done it half a dozen times already but there was something about this time that sparked something, some kind of force in my mind, that caused me to completely break. My back leaned against the cool tiles of my shower and by body slowly slid down. Tears had started to escape my eyes and I ran my fingers through my wet hair. Loud sobs started to escape my lips and that’s when I realized what was happening to me: I was having an emotional break down.

“Angela!?” I heard Benji yell as he banged on the door. I guess my sobs had been loud enough for Benji to have heard in the other room. I wrapped my arms around my legs and continued to sob. I just couldn’t get myself to stop. “Angela!” Benji called again as he continued his assault on my door. “Angela are you alright?” Benji questioned through the door, but I think he already knew the answer. “Open the door,” I heard him say as he tried to turn the door knob. I was paralyzed in my spot on the shower floor, I couldn’t move. All I could do was sit there and cry. Suddenly I heard my door come crashing open and I knew that Benji had broken down the door. Benji slid his arm in through the curtain of my shower, blindly reaching for the controls to the water. Finally he found them and turned off the water. A towel was suddenly thrown over the pole that was holding up the shower curtain.

“Benji?” I whispered.

“Yeah?” he answered, his voice filled with fear and concern. I sat there for a moment before standing up and grabbing the towel that he had thrown over the rod for me and wrapping it around my shivering body. I stepped out of the shower and Benji looked at me nervously. “You okay?” he asked.

I shook my head before answering, “I need help.”

Chapter 10

To say that I was scared would be an understatement. I was well beyond being just scared. Honestly, I was downright horrified. Never in my life had I ever felt such a moment of weakness. If Benji hadn’t been there to make sure that I was okay, who knew what might have happened or what stupid thing I might have done had he not been at the house. Inhaling deeply, I looked over towards Benji whose full attention was on driving. He seemed to know exactly where he was taking me, almost as if this had been the plan the entire time. I watched as his tattooed fingers clutched the steering wheel tightly. I could see that he was anxious, nervous even.

He hadn’t said anything significant to me since before my breakdown, I guess he just didn’t know what to say. Not that I would have if I was in his shoes. I was having trouble finding something to say to him and the silence was awkward and increasingly uncomfortable. Still not finding anything to say to him, I turned away from him. Nervously, I started twirling the draw string from my sweat pants around with my finger. I had quickly changed my mind about what I had decided to wear. I felt that the tight fitting jeans would only attract the wrong kind of attention and I decided on a pair of loose fitting black sweat pants. I just threw some random t-shirt from my closet on and put on the hoodie that Benji had given to me the night of the attack.

“Joel was having some issues himself about a year ago,” Benji said, breaking the silence that had lingered between us. “He really needed to get some professional help because he was falling apart fast. I’d never seen him so…,” Benji paused, looking for the right word, “so hurt. I felt so fucking helpless. I wanted to do something for him, he’s my brother, my fucking twin brother, but nothing I did helped. He just seemed to be getting worse until one day, he announced that he was going to see a therapist.” Benji paused again, probably thinking about what had been going through his mind at the moment that his twin, his other half, the person that he thought he knew best, told him that he was in such bad shape that he needed professional help. He sighed, then continued, “I knew it was the best thing for him, he needed it. I’d drive him to his appointments sometimes just ‘cause he said that he needed to know that I was there so of course I went. I still don’t know what happened when he was in the office with the doctor, he wouldn’t talk to me about it, but whatever did happen, helped him. It brought back the old Joel. After I dropped you off at your house after we left the police station, I got the guys number and called him. I told that he shouldn’t be too surprised if I came in with someone needing help,” he admitted.

“So was that why you were so edger to go out earlier?” I asked.

“No,” he answered immediately. “I seriously just wanted to spend the day with you, getting to know you. I would never force you to do something that you’re not ready to.” He looked at me for a second before turning his attention back to the road.

“So that’s where we’re going?”

“Yeah,” he replied softly. “When you came out of the shower, the look in your eyes, God, it scared me, it was the exact look that Joel had in his eyes when he hit rock bottom. While you were getting dressed, I called the doctor, doctor Erick Townsend, and I told him that we were coming so he’ll be ready for you once we get there.”

“Will you come in with me?” I asked. He turned to me, surprise clearly displayed upon his face.

“During the session?” he asked, seeking to clarify what I had meant.

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure? Do you really want me in there? I mean it might get really personal,” Benji reasoned. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or weird or anything.”

“I’d only feel weird and uncomfortable if you weren’t there with me,” I replied seriously. I knew nothing about this doctor that I was about to see. He was going to ask me a lot of hard questions, I knew that but at least if I had Benji there with me, I had someone’s hand to hold, someone who would comfort me.

“Alright,” he finally answered, “but if at anytime you want me to leave because you might be too embarrassed to talk about something in front of me or there’s something you don’t want me to know about yet, let me know and I’ll leave and wait for you in the next room.”

“Okay,” I replied, knowing full well that I was not going to ask Benji to leave my side. He was my rock, the only thing for me to hold onto for the moment. I sighed when Benji pulled into a near empty parking lot. We had arrived at the doctors office.

“This is it,” he said and I nodded as I opened the door to his truck to get out. Fear was tugging at my heart and part of me wanted to get back into the truck, curl up and just cry. Benji must have noticed my sudden apprehension because he said, “everything’s gonna be okay. He’s not gonna make you answer anything that you don’t feel comfortable with. When you’re in that office, the only thing he cares about is making sure that you’re okay.”

I just stood there looking at Benji, he’d extended his hand for me to take it, but I didn’t make a move, I just said, “Benji, I’m scared.”

“I know, I know,” he replied, his voice gentle, still keeping his hand extended. “But the doctor is gonna help you feel better and you have to get better for your sister. She needs you.” Alana. I had completely forgotten about her I was so wrapped up in my fear. Benji nodded gently, hoping to assure me that this was the right thing. I reached out and took his hand, knowing that if I didn‘t at least do this for myself, I had to do it for my sister. Who would take care of her if I got worse? I didn’t even want to think about the hell that my sister might have to endure if I couldn’t take care of her any more. When my hand reached his, his fingers instantly wrapped around mine and the warmth emitted from his hand made me feel safe. Benji lead me into the building, keeping my hand tightly clutched in his.

“You can send her in Benjamin, he’s expecting her,” an elderly woman with a kind and gentle voice announced as we walked into the main waiting area. She was most likely the doctors receptionist.

“Actually Elaine,” Benji stated, “she wants me to sit in on the session with her. That won’t be a problem will it?” he asked.

“Of course not Benjamin,” she replied with a kind smile. “Go on in.” Benji nodded at the woman and she smiled in response. She had the warm and kind feeling that a loving grandmother had that made you want to spill your heart, that‘s probably what got her hired I thought. He had obviously spent a lot of time in the waiting room talking to the welcoming receptionist while he wait for Joel’s sessions to end since they were using each others first names I assumed. Benji and I walked the few steps into the back where the doctors office was located. The room was small, but not too small that one would get the feeling of suffocation or entrapment. It was just the right size in that I felt welcomed.

“Hello Mr. Madden,” the doctor greeted Benji. The doctor seemed to be at least a decade younger than his receptionist, I thought. “Hello ma’am.” I smiled weakly at him and he turned his attention to Benji for a moment. “How’s your brother? I haven‘t heard from him in some time now.”

“He’s doing great,” Benji said as I allowed myself to further evaluate the room. An entire wall was covered with a bookcase filled with books. Degrees from various institutions hung proudly on the wall behind the doctors desk. That cliché lounge like chair was against the wall opposite the doctors desk and was covered with pillows and a blanket. “He’s happy.”

“That’s good to hear,” the doctor replied.

“It’s good to say,” Benji said with honesty. He looked at me quickly and smiled softly. “This is Angela, the girl I called you about.”

“Hi Angela,” the doctor said kindly to me.

“Hi,” I forced myself to answer, my voice sounding shaky and weak. I gripped Benji’s hand tightly, which he didn’t seem to mind.

“Why don’t you take a seat and we’ll begin.” Benji and I took a seat on the lounge chair and we rested our linked hands on his leg. “Why don’t you tell me about the night of the attack.”

Chapter 11

I decided on waiting in the car while Benji ran inside his house, which was huge by the way, to get some clothes and other things that he would need. He said that he would only be a few minutes and I was too tired to get out of the car anyway. Back at the doctors office, I had spilled my heart out which left me feeling both emotionally and physically drained. Some how, the session had found its way to the topic of my parents death, something that I still haven’t gotten over. Honestly, I don’t think I’m ever going to completely get over that. But does anyone ever completely get over the loss of someone important to them, especially their parents? How could you get over something yet keep it in mind? I think people can learn to accept things like that and can adapt to, in essence, a new life; a life without whomever was lost. Part of me died the other day in that alley, and that’s something that I have to learn to accept in addition to the loss of my parents which is gonna be difficult since I’ve yet to accept the situation with my parents.

Sighing, I rested my head against the cool glass of the window. Things were becoming so difficult right now and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I hadn’t expected things to get so hard. I was prepared for some tough times but things were getting out of hand. At least I have some good people around me otherwise I don’t know where I would be right now. I’m thankful for them, even Benji, Joel and the other guys, even though I just met them. It was them who saved me in that alley, I seriously owe my life to them. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard someone tapping on the glass of the window.

“Hey!” I opened my eyes and looked through the window to see Joel smiling at me. I sighed then rolled down the window.

“You scared the shit out of me,” I told him as I ran my fingers through my hair.

“Sorry, about that,” he replied honestly. “So how’ve you been?”

“Better,” I answered. He looked at me and he seemed to have some concern in his eyes. “Things are just really catching up with me, ya know?”

“I bet. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’ve done enough talking for today. Benji took me to see a doctor and that kinda wore me out.”

“A doctor? What happened? Are you hurt?” he asked quickly.

“I’m okay, I just kinda had a breakdown this morning, scared the shit out of me and Benji.”

“Well did it help any?”

“Yes,” I told him, nodding my head slowly. It really did help. I felt as though some of the burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. It was like I didn’t have to deal with it alone any more even though I knew that everything that was going on was a personal battle that in the end would be up to me to win.

“Good ‘cause I’d hate to see you in pain,” he told me. “And I know Benji would hate it even more. Trust me, he really cares about you and he would do anything to make you feel better.” I smiled at Joel and I knew that his words were true. Benji had already demonstrated his compassion so much already.

“But don’t you think it’s sorta weird?” I asked. The relationship that Benji and I had was far from conventional. How many people can say that they met their boyfriend in an alleyway while some strange man was trying to rape them? So far Benji and I are the only ones that I know of that can fall under that category.

“What’s weird?”

“The whole situation with me and Benji. We just met and the way we met wasn’t exactly under normal circumstances,” I said with a quiet laugh. “How can you know that you care so much about someone that you just met?”

“The world is a strange place,” he responded knowingly, “things happen that we can’t really explain. We just kinda have to go along with it and hope for the best. And sometimes real good things happen and we can’t believe that they’re real but they are. So we have to embrace those good things so they make the hard things less hard.”

“Thanks Joel,” I replied. He smiled at me.

“Anytime,” he said. “So what’s my brother up to anyway?”

“He’s getting some clothes, he’s gonna spend the night at my place. I told him I felt safer when he was around,” I admitted.

“Cool. Hey, why don’t I come too and bring Paul and Billy, we can have a slumber party.”

I laughed, “a slumber party?”

“Yeah, why not? It’ll be fun and you’ll get to know us and we’ll get to know you, especially since Paul and Billy only met you once,” Joel reasoned. “And that way, you’ll have four guys to make sure that you’re alright. So what do you say?”

“I say, do you remember how to get to my place?” Joel smiled at me. He was just so sweet and caring, how could I tell him no? Besides, he was right, it was a great opportunity for all of us to get to know each other. If Benji and I were going to be together, his friends had to accept me.

“I’ll give Paul and Billy a call and we’ll be over in a little while,” Joel told me when he saw Benji closing the door to his house.

“Sounds good,” I replied. “I do have to warn you though, my sister’s a fan of you guys.”

“Oh yeah? Maybe we should have her spend the night at a friends then,” he said jokingly.

“Uh-uh, I’m not gonna be the only woman in the house with all of that testosterone. It’s just not gonna happen buddy.”

“Joely, what’s up man?” Benji said once he arrived at the car.

“Nothing, but me and the guys are gonna be joining you tonight, it’s gonna be a big ass slumber party,” Joel explained. Benji looked over at me and I shrugged. He smiled and tossed his bag into the backseat.

“Awesome! We’re gonna have a shit load of fun then,” Benji exclaimed.

“See you guys later,” Joel said hitting the top of the car then turned around and walked away. I looked over at Benji who had already gotten into the car. He smiled at me.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” I told him. What Joel had said to me about embracing the good things was replaying itself in my head and it was really helping me to try to think about the better things in my life. I really needed to hear that and it helped hearing it from him. He seemed so sure, there was no way that I could doubt what he had said.

“Great,” he replied as we started to pull out of the driveway. “Hey, you think we should drop by blockbuster and pick up some movies for us to watch?”

“Yeah,” I answered. “I don’t even know what I have any more. I haven’t gotten a new movie in so long.”

“Understandable, you had other things you needed to worry about,” he replied. “So what kinda movies are you into?”

“All kinds, mainly horror though. I grew up on those kinda movies so I’ve kinda fallen in love with the genre.”

“Cool, I like all kinds, as long as it’s good,” he replied. I smiled at him, I was starting to feel really good about things, at least a little bit anyway. I needed a day like today. I needed to see a doctor, I needed to hear Joel’s words. Everything about today was helpful in assisting me in putting the pieces back together. Maybe things weren’t going to be so bad after all. The ride to the blockbuster was a short one so before we knew it, we were walking the aisles of the store looking for movies.

“Lets try to get something from like every genre,” I suggested.

“Good idea. Lets start with your favorite, horror,” he said as we walked towards the horror section. “Anything in particular that you wanna see?”

“How ‘bout we go for some classic Friday The 13th,” I answered. He nodded and pulled the case from the shelf. Benji and I pretty much covered every square inch of the video store picking out movies. I knew that we wouldn’t have time to watch all of them but variety was key. We had to have something to pick from so we just grabbed a bunch of movies that we liked and ones that we thought the guys would like (well, he thought that the guys would like anyway).

“Oh, I’m gonna go get some popcorn! We can’t a movie night without popcorn!” I stated, all of my worries temporarily pushed out of my mind. Tonight was going to be the first night I started to take my life back.

“Okay, I’m gonna get on line.” I nodded and I turned to the section of the store where the popcorn display was located. I walked up to the display and grabbed a box of microwave popcorn and began my journey back to Benji, which was only about twenty feet. Suddenly, I was frozen in place. Fear started to blanket my body as I looked into the eyes of the last person that I ever wanted to see again. My mind started to flashback to the alley, all the fear I felt that night was coming back to me in tremendous waves. It was him. I snapped back into reality as I saw him take off out of the store, but not before he gave me this look. A look that was filled with so much evil that I thought that I had fallen into the inner most core of hell. My hands trembled as I stood there.

“Benji!” I suddenly yelled, reality catching up with me. Benji’s head turned so fast that I thought he might get whiplash. I guess he saw the look of sheer terror in my eyes because he immediately left the line and made a dash straight towards me.

“What? What happened?” he asked worriedly.

“It… it.. I saw him,” I stammered. “He.. He was here..”

“The guy from the alley?” he asked, shocked. I could only nod. “Which way did he go?” I lifted my arm and pointed in the direction in which the man had gone. Benji handed me the videos that he had in his hands and turned towards the direction in which I had pointed.

“Benji,” I said desperately. He stopped and turned towards me.

“Don’t leave me.” He looked at me, turned his head in the direction that the guy had ran and then moved back towards me. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

“I’m gonna call the police,” he told me.

“Benji, I’m scared,” I admitted. He looked at me, his eyes so gentle, so filled with concern and what I believe to be a feeling of helplessness.

“I know Angie,” he said. “I know.”

Chapter 12

The police had arrived at the video store fairly quick, but not quick enough to figure out where this guy had gone. Benji and I had been questioned relentlessly about what happened. I felt bad for putting Benji through that especially since he hadn’t actually seen the guy. He’d vanished before I could get my bearings and alert Benji to what was happening only feet away from where he was standing. The police finally let us go after about twenty minutes of questioning when they figured out that we had no more information to give to them, and decided to see if they could find out if there were any surveillance cameras that may have caught a shot of the guy. I really hoped that it did because that means they could put his picture on TV and in the newspapers and someone might see him and turn him in. I turned my attention to Benji, he was standing at the counter paying for the movies. Even after what happened, he insisted that we go on as if none of it had ever happened. Easy for him.

He didn’t come face to face with the person that almost took everything away from him. He didn’t see the look on that mans face when he saw me. Benji didn’t have to deal with that, it wasn’t going to replay over and over again in his mind. Every time he’d close his eyes, he wouldn’t see what I saw. He wasn’t going to have my nightmares. Nervously, I played with the hem of my t-shirt, still waiting for Benji. A moment later, he made his way towards me.

“Come on, lets go,” he said with a bag in his hand.

“Gladly,” I replied as we exited the store and walked towards his car. The parking lot was as it would have been on any normal day. People were walking to and from their cars completely unaware of what I had just gone through. It made me wonder how many times I had been just like all of those other people. How many times had I just walked by someone that was so desperately in need of help and didn’t even know it? How many times did I just walk by, completely unaware of the danger that was only mere inches away from me? How many times did I just go on about my business as if nothing bad could ever happen where I was? It was frightening to think about.

After getting into the car, I put on my seatbelt and turned my attention out the window. I just wanted to think about what had just happened. I had to get all of the events clear in my mind. That was harder than it sounded considering the anger that was starting to rise within me. I was angry because this guy was going on about his normal life has if nothing had ever happened, as if he had never attacked me with the intention of raping and even killing me. It made my blood boil to think that this man had that little a regard for other people. Yeah, the attack itself showed that this man obviously didn’t care about other people, but the fact that he was blatantly walking around as if our entire encounter was something as trivial as if we had accidentally brushed shoulders while walking down the street. This man just about ruined my life and he treated that fact as if it was nothing but a piece of trash.

“Angie, are you okay?” I heard Benji’s voice asking, pulling me from my thoughts. I sighed and turned to face him.

“Honestly, I don’t know any more.”

“What exactly happened back there?” he questioned. He hadn’t gotten the complete story out of me since at the moment I was so shaken that I could barely speak and when the police had arrived they had questioned us separately, which I didn‘t want since I didn‘t want to be away from Benji at the moment.

“He was just standing there,” I replied almost bitterly. “Standing there like it was nothing. Like everything that he had done to me was nothing. He didn’t give a shit about anything. And the way he looked at me…” I said, my voice trailing off at the memory. I swallowed hard, trying to push the thought from my mind.

“You’re gonna be alright,” he assured me. “I’m gonna take care of you.”

“I know you are Benji,” I replied, “but I just can’t help but being so angry.”

“I understand and I know that once they catch this mother fucker he’s going to be sorry when he’s someone’s bitch in prison.”

“Do you really think that they’re gonna catch him?”

“Yeah, they’ve got his fucking picture now, he can’t hide if his face is plastered all over the damn news,” he reasoned. I had been hoping the same thing, but I knew that it was only going to be a chance, not a sure fire thing.

“What if they didn’t even get a good shot of him?” I thought aloud.

“There were a bunch of different cameras in that store, one of them had to have gotten him,” he answered. “It’s not like he was trying to hide from them or anything. He had to have walked into at least one shot.”

“How long do you think he was there for?” I asked. “Do you think he knew that we were there and was just waiting for the right moment to show himself?” Benji looked over at me, confused by my question.

“What? That he was in the store when we came in? Is that what you think?”

“Benji, I don’t know what I think right now,” I replied, frustrated. I wasn’t frustrated at Benji, I was frustrated at the entire situation. I hated having to think that this guy was still out there, still praying on women. “I just… all I know is that he was there and I had to look at him again. I had to see that evil again.” We both fell silent for a while, probably to finish taking in everything that we had just gone through.

We weren’t that far from my house when I broke the silence, “When this is all over, if this is ever over, do you think we’ll still have a reason to be with each other? We still don’t know all that much about each other, what if we have nothing in common? What if what‘s happened the past few days is the only thing we have in common? What‘s gonna happen then?” I asked nervously. I needed the answers to these questions, and I knew that once we got back to my house it was going to be difficult to get them since there were going to be so many people around.

“Angie, things are going to be just fine, you have to stop worrying so damn much.”

“How can I not worry, Benjamin?” I snapped, sounding a lot more aggravated then I had expected. He nodded and then turned his complete attention on the road. I immediately felt bad. I didn’t mean to take things out on Benji, it’s just right now I’m beginning to think that he doesn’t truly understand how I feel because if he did, he would know why I’ve been so worried. I sighed before speaking. I didn’t want things to go bad with Benji already. “I’m sorry,” I started. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. You’re just trying to help,” I said the last past softly as I slowly started to rub my forehead with my fingers.

“I know,” he simply replied and I wasn’t convinced. I looked over at him, his eyes locked intently on the road.

“Please just try and understand what I’m going through right now,” I explained. “Things are just so crazy and I don’t know what to do. I need you to be there for me, okay?”

“Angie, I’m not going anywhere,” he assured me after stealing a quick glance at me before turning his attention back to the road. “I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

“Looks like the guys are at your place,” Benji said as we pulled onto my block. “That’s Joel’s truck.”

“Okay.”

“Are you still alright with having the guys around? Cause if you’re not comfortable, I’m sure that they’ll understand and will be out of your way,” Benji assured me. I smiled at him.

“I’m still okay with this,” I replied. “I really need a day where things are good and I can get my mind off of this shit before I loose my damn mind.”

“Well, I know they’ll get your mind off of what happened but I don’t know if they’ll keep you from loosing your mind. They’re kinda crazy ya knows, its kinda why we’re all friends,” Benji said with a smirk as we pulled into my driveway. Joel immediately jumped up from the step in front of the door and walked over to us.

“What the hell happened with you guys? You left before I did!” Joel questioned as we stepped out of Benji’s car. Benji looked over at me, silently asking me if it was okay that he told Joel about what had happened and I nodded my permission.

“The guy was at the video store,” Benji simply stated.

“What? You’ve gotta be shitting me,” Joel replied, in shock.

“He was there,” Billy, at least I think it was Billy, asked.

“Yeah,” Benji answered.

“Did you go after him at least?” Joel questioned. Joel had been the one who had attempted to chase him down that night in the alley.

“No, everything happened so fast and Angie wanted me to stay with her,” Benji explained and Joel nodded, understanding.

“Well, why don’t we go inside,” I spoke for the first time since I had gotten out of the car.

“Yeah, good idea,” Benji agreed.

Chapter 13

I looked around my living room, taking in the scene before me. Benji had his arms wrapped around my waist as I sat on his lap. Joel was sitting next to us, munching on some popcorn, my sister was falling asleep right next to him and Billy and Paul were sitting on the floor (which thankfully, they didn’t seem to mind) with their full attention on the movie. Things just seemed so normal, like they were the way they were supposed to be. I felt so content at that moment, I couldn’t compare it to any other feeling I’ve ever had in my life. The only word that could even come close to describing it is perfection. When I was younger, I used to dream about moments like this. Not a moment where I was hanging with rock stars but a moment where it seemed like nothing in the world could touch me and I was surrounded by amazing people who truly cared about me.

Feeling comfortable with the situation, I slightly turned my head and softly kissed Benji’s tattooed neck. He smiled at me and placed a kiss on the top of my head. I smiled at the gesture and cuddled closer to him. I looked around the room again, not really interested with the movie, I had bigger things on my mind. I was still slightly worried about what was going to become of me and Benji in a few months. Things were so uncertain. There was no telling what our relationship would look like then. I sighed to myself, I guess we’re just going to have to deal with that when the time comes. I just want to experience the happiness that I’m feeling while it’s around because I honestly don‘t know when, or even if, I‘m going to lose it all.

“I’m going to bed,” Ali suddenly announced as she pulled herself from the couch. I could tell that she had been tired for a while now but that didn’t want to go to bed because the guys were here, sitting in her living room watching a movie.

“Alright Ali, I’ll see you in the morning,” I replied.

“Night guys,” Ali said with a yawn.

“Night,” Benji and Joel answered at the same time. I giggled a little at the response.

“Twins,” Billy said, shaking his head, “good night.”

“See ya,” Paul responded. She nodded and turned around to leave the living room. I
could tell how delighted she was at having the guys here. To tell you the truth, I was surprised that she hadn’t called any of her friends to tell them that they were here. I was sort of expecting to have a bunch of teenagers standing in my front yard trying to catch a glimpse of the guys, but I was pleased that it was just a quiet, seemingly normal evening.

“Hey, you have any more popcorn?” Joel asked.

“Mmmhmmm, in the kitchen,” I replied.

“Anyone want anything?” Joel asked, but got no response. “Alright then.” He stood up
from the couch and wandered into the kitchen. My kitchen was small enough that I figured that Joel would be able to figure things out himself. Besides, he was only making popcorn, that wasn’t a two person job.

“I’m glad we did this,” I mumbled to Benji.

“Good,” he replied softly. “I’m glad that you enjoyed it.”

“Too bad things can’t always be like this,” I answered, closing my eyes, allowing myself to completely relax against Benji.

“Maybe they can,” Benji said sweetly and I had to smile. He was being so good to me and it was all because he wanted to. I’ve never had anyone like him in my life before.

“It’s a nice dream huh?” I returned. Nights like this were definitely a dream and when they do happen, a repeat night is far away. I wasn’t going to allow myself to believe that I can have nights like this all the time because then I’d be seriously let down when that didn’t happen. Benji sighed and placed another kiss on the top of my head, obviously, he had decided not to fight with me over this and I was glad about that. I didn’t need to have one of the only good moments in my life in a long time to be ruined. I yawned before saying, “I’m gonna go to bed.”

“You sure?” Benji asked. I yawned again.

“Yeah, I’m tired,” I replied, standing up from Benji’s lap. “Goodnight guys.”

“Goodnight Angie,” Paul stated. “Come on, give me a hug.” I smiled as he pulled himself up from the floor and pulled me into a hug.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Benji said from behind us, which a smirk on his face and I laughed. “Get your own girlfriend man.” Paul just smirked at Benji and turned his attention back to the TV.

“’Night Billy,” I said, holding back yet another yawn.

“’Night,” he replied with a smile.

“Where you going?” Joel asked me as he walked into the living room, throwing a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

“Bed,” I replied.

“Alright, see you in the morning!”

“Night,” I said as I started to walk up the stairs and into my bedroom and shut the door. I quickly changed into my pajamas and started to pull down the blanket, getting the bed ready for me to lay in it. I pulled the pony tail holder that held my hair in place out and my hair fell down to rest loosely around my face.

“I thought I’d go to sleep too,” Benji said, standing in my door way.

“Good, because I didn’t know if I was going to get any sleep until you came up here anyway,” I replied, smiling at him. He pulled his shirt over his head and I did everything I could to keep from staring at his beautiful body. I just wanted to drink in his beauty, to have a picture of his form permanently etched in my mind. I wanted to run my fingers over the ink that he adorned. Shaking myself from my thoughts, I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my tooth brush and started to prepare it. I really needed to keep my mind from thinking about Benji that way, at least for now. We needed to work on our relationship first.

Honestly, I’m still having trouble believing everything that’s happened since I met Benji. It hasn’t even been a week yet, but here I am, completely enamored by this man. I’m still taken back by all of this. Even Joel and the other guys have been so good to me. I know I may be stuck on the topic but its something that completely shocks me. I’d lost faith in people a long time ago and now Benji and the guys were slowly giving that faith back to me and I really appreciated that. Before I knew it, I was putting my tooth brush back into its place. I had completely gone through my routine without even noticing it, I was that consumed by my thoughts. I smiled to myself before I walked back into the bedroom.

“Sorry about that, I’ll get it fixed,” Benji said as he gestured towards my bathroom door which he had knocked down earlier in the day. “I’ll make a few calls in the morning and it should be back up by the end of the day.”

“Thanks,” I said as I sat down on my bed next to him. He smiled at me and I smiled back. The slight feelings of discomfort that I had begun feeling once I realized just how close I was going to be to Benji in the privacy of my bedroom, completely disappearing as I looked into his eyes.

“You sure you want me in here? Because if you‘re not comfortable, I can go downstairs,” he asked. How’d he always seem to know exactly what I needed to hear when I needed it most. I swear, this boy is a mind reader. He just knew how to make me comfortable.

“No, I need you up here,” I said immediately, knowing that if he wasn’t with me, I wasn’t going to get any sleep. I smiled at him, letting him know that I was completely sure about him staying with me. I climbed up to the top of the bed and slipped between the covers, with Benji following suit. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head against his chest and inhaled deeply.

“Comfy?” he asked.

“Very,” I replied.

“Good,” he answered. I let the sound of Benji’s heartbeat fill my senses as I got comfortable on his chest with his arms around my waist. He reached over to the nightstand and turned off the lamp, allowing the room to fall into complete darkness. Suddenly a feeling that I’ve never felt before washed over me and once that feeling completely took over my body, I knew that Benji was the person that I wanted to spend my life with. Crazy I know, but there’s just something telling me that he will never let anything happen to me and he’ll love me no matter what. He’s exactly everything that I’ve been wanting in life and never knew it. Taking a deep breath, I gathered some courage and I placed my lips on Benji’s neck and started kissing him. I felt him sharply inhale.

“Angie,” Benji whispered.

“Shh,” I replied as I began to place kisses up his jaw line. I don’t know what got into me but I wanted him and I wanted him immediately. I freed myself from his grip around my waist as I continued to kiss him.

“What are you doing?” he asked as my lips came close to his.

“I want you,” I whispered before placing my lips against his and started to kiss him. At first he didn’t kiss back and I was beginning to get nervous, but that quickly changed when he began to kiss me back. I moaned into his mouth when I felt his tongue slip into mine.

Breaking away for a moment he asked, “are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life,” I replied as I brought my lips back down to his. All I wanted to do was feel him. He was all I wanted to know. I wanted him to fill me completely. I allowed my hands to explore his chest and abdomen, loving the soft, warm skin that I felt. I moved so that I was straddling Benji and he put his hands on my hips as we continued kissing. Swiftly, Benji flipped us over so that he was on top. He broke the kiss and I smiled up at him and he smiled back.

He leaned down on took my earlobe in his mouth. I sighed when he released my earlobe, ran his tongue along it and then started to place gentle kisses down my neck. I could feel myself responding to his loving touches and I was becoming very excited. His lips met mine again and he looked into my eyes, silently asking me if I wanted him to continue. I nodded my head and he turned his attention back to my body. Benji brought his hands to the hem of my night shirt and slowly started to work it up, leaving kisses on the skin that he exposed. The feeling of his lips on my skin sent shivers up my spine. I shut my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy the sensations.

I sat up ever slightly so that Benji could pull my shirt over my head. He tossed it to the floor then continued his assault on my body. I gasped when I felt Benji’s tongue dip into my bellybutton then slowly start to work its way up. It was when Benji reached my breasts that I suddenly tensed. My breath quickened as I tried to remind myself that it was Benji’s hands on my, not my attackers, but my attempts didn’t work and memories from that night once again started to flood my mind.

“Oh my god, stop. Benji, please just stop,” I suddenly breathed out. Benji instantly stopped and looked at me, his worry plainly written across his face, even in the dark I could see that it was there.

“What? What’s wrong?” Benji asked.

“I can’t do this,” I admitted with tears starting to roll down my cheeks. “When you… when you touched my breasts, I… I thought of him… of what happened.”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around me as I cried.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he replied. “If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I’m not gonna force you.” Both Benji and I turned our heads when we heard a loud crash.

“GET BACK HERE!” Joel’s angry voice yelled breaking the silence, shocking Benji and I. I stared at Benji for a second before we both rose from the bed, stopping only for me to put my shirt back on before we went down stairs to see what had happened.

Chapter 14

“What happened? Where‘s Joel?” Benji asked as the both of us ran down the stairs. I was gripping his arm tightly and standing slightly behind him, wanting to see what had happened but also wanting to be shielded from it.

“I don’t know exactly,” Billy answered. “We heard something outside and Joel went to go check it out and next thing I knew, he was running after some guy screaming.”

“He probably woke half the damn neighborhood so who ever it was won‘t get far,” Paul chimed in. Benji nodded at him and then turned his head slightly to look back at me.

“What happened?” Ali asked as she made her way down the stairs.

“We think someone tried to break into the house,” Billy answered and a look of nervousness washed over my sisters face. “Joel went after him though.”

“Get the fuck inside,” we heard Joel’s angry voice demand as he pushed a young man into the house. Benji immediately went to go aide his brother, with the rest of us following him with curiosity.

“Look mister, I’m sorry,” the guy pleaded as Joel continued to shove him into the house.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be real fucking sorry when I’m done with you!” Joel replied, his voice oozing with anger. I thought that if we didn’t get to Joel soon he may as well kill whoever it was that he caught.

“Mark!” Ali suddenly called out when she was finally able to get a clear look at who it was that Joel had captured.

“You know him?” Joel asked my sister seriously.

“Yeah, he’s my boyfriend,” she answered nervously, biting her lip.

“Boyfriend? What the fuck was he doing?” I yelled, my initial fear had faded and now I was angry. This whole incident had scared the shit out of me. I thought that my nightmare had come true and my attacker had found us and was here to take his revenge on me and kill us all. I was convinced that all of this was going to end in blood shed and here I find out that it was just my sisters boyfriend trying to sneak into the house.

“I was trying to get upstairs,” he said softly. “I wanted to see her.”

“That doesn’t mean you try to break into my fucking house!” I yelled, not caring any more. Ali knew what kind of position I was in but was the least of it. How could my own sister, the one that I’ve been taking care of since our parents died, lie to me and try to sneak boys into her room at night. I was more angry at her for thinking that she could do something like this and not get caught. I was angry at her for betraying my trust in such a huge way. Hell, I was just fucking angry.

“I wasn’t breaking in…” he attempted to defend himself, but I didn’t give him the chance.

“Like hell you weren’t!! What the fuck do you call trying to enter someone’s house without their permission. I don’t give a shit if you had Alana’s permission or not, you didn’t have MY permission and it’s my fucking house!!”

“Angie…” my sister said softly, obviously trying to calm me down.

“I don’t want to hear it Alana!” I yelled. “You’re grounded indefinitely!”

“What? That’s not fair!”

“Like hell it isn’t fair!” I yelled back. “And you….. You’re lucky that I’m just going to call your mother and not the police, but if I catch you trying to do this shit again, I WILL call the cops and I WILL press charges. You got that?” I said sternly to Mark.

“Yes ma’am,” Mark replied softly, his eyes on the ground.

“Angie, go up stairs, I’ll take care of this,” Joel said to me. I looked at him for a moment, his eyes were pleading with me to just go upstairs and relax. I kept my eyes locked with his for a moment longer before I nodded gently. I was too angry at the moment to think clearly. I was still stuck on the idea that he could have easily been my attacker instead of my sisters boyfriend.

“Come on, lets go upstairs,” Benji said as he wrapped his arm around my waist and started to guide me towards the stairs. I was still in shock about what had just happened. I never expected my sister to do something like that. I sighed as I felt Benji’s hand gently rubbing the small of my back, as if he was trying to calm me down. Right now, it wasn’t working, I was just too wound up for anything to relax me at the moment.

“UUUUGGGG I’m so fucking pissed,” I announced when Benji and I reached my bedroom and the door was shut behind us.

“I know,” Benji replied, his voice was so soft and gentle that I wasn’t even sure that I had even heard it at first. “Why don’t you lay down, I’ll rub your back, that’ll help you relax.”

“I’m gonna need more than a back rub to fucking relax,” I replied, starting to pace my room. Benji just watched me as I moved from side to side, his eyes showing real concern and a desire to help me. I bit my lip as I looked at him looking at me. He kept his eyes locked with mine. Swiftly, I moved towards him and pushed him down onto the bed and climbed on top of him.

“Woah, what the hell are you doing?” Benji questioned, obviously shocked by my actions. I answered by smashing my lips against his. My hand moved between our bodies and I gripped onto his boxers, attempting to yank them down. That’s when I felt Benji grab my arm in an attempt to stop me. “Stop it,” he said after he turned his head, breaking the contact between our lips.

“Just shut up Benjamin,” I demanded as I continued my attempt to strip him.

“Angela, stop it. I like it rough but you’re not ready for this,” he said to me, it was obvious that he was trying to keep his voice down as he spoke. “Besides, I don’t want you to regret our first time together.”

“Who are you to tell me if I’m ready or not!” I demanded as I rose from the bed, angry at Benji for only being rational and caring about me. At that moment, I was just so angry at everything that had just happened, everything I had gone through that I was unfairly taking it out on Benji. “Benji, I’m sorry...” I said pathetically as I broke eye contact with him.

“What the hell got into you?” Benji asked gently, losing all evidence of the slight anger that his voice had held only seconds ago. I looked back up at him and felt tears starting to form.

“I….. I.. Just… I don’t know,” I stuttered. He rose from my bed and walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. “Benji, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he replied, though I wasn’t convinced.

“No, its not,” I contested. “How can what I just did be okay? I don’t even know what the hell came over me.”

“You’ve just got a lot of shit to deal with right now so its okay not to know what to do all the time,” Benji assured me. “And that’s why I’m here. I want to make sure that you make all the right decisions.”

“That’s no excuse for what I did.”

“Nothing happened,” Benji said. “We stopped it before it could.”

“What do you mean we? You stopped it!” I said to him, pulling away from his arms. “If you weren’t such a good guy I would have made a huge fucking mistake.”

“Well, I am a good guy and you didn’t make that mistake,” he assured me, trying to pull me back into his arms to comfort me. I stepped away again.

“Benji, this isn’t going to work. I think it’s better if you just left,” I said wrapping my arms around myself in an attempt to protect myself.

“What are you talking about?” Benji asked, not really comprehending what I was saying.

“I’m saying that this relationship isn’t going to work. I’m just gonna fuck everything up. It’s better if we both went out own separate ways before either of us gets hurt,” I said, fighting the tears that were threatening to escape from my eyes. I wanted to be strong while I did this because I knew if I showed any weakness, Benji would act on it and I wouldn’t be able to go through with this. “So just leave.”

“No,” he answered sternly. “I’m not leaving.”

“Don’t be like that Benji, just leave, please.”

“No,” he repeated. “I can’t do that. Not now.”

“Benji please just leave before I scream,” I threatened. He raised an eyebrow at my words and stared at me for a moment, thinking about the situation.

“What do you mean scream?” he asked carefully.

“I’ll scream for help,” I replied. I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to Benji but I wanted him to leave me alone. I looked at him as he stood only about two feet away from me.

“Fine,” he finally answered. “I’ll leave.”

“Thank you,” I whispered at Benji started to gather his clothes and leave my room and possibly my life.

Chapter 15

I found myself standing alone in my bedroom. Benji had walked through the door only seconds ago and already, I was regretting what I had said to him. I didn’t mean it, I was just so angry and I didn’t know what I was thinking. I needed him, I wanted him but something was keeping me from running after him and telling him to stay. I wanted to run through that door, grab hold of him, the man that though I had only known a matter of days, I was in love with, and never let him go but there was some unexplainable force that was keeping my feet planted firmly to the floor. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid that he’ll reject me now. I pretty much just rejected him so I wouldn’t blame him for feeling like that. But maybe I am actually doing the right thing. Benji may just end up hurting me some point down the line and who knows if I will ever be strong enough to handle something like that. I’d just be too broken hearted. So maybe this was better. Maybe, just maybe. Then again, what if Benji was my only chance at happiness and I just let that one good thing walk out of my life?

Suddenly, I found myself thinking about the conversation that I had with Joel earlier. We have to embrace those good things so they make the hard things less hard, I heard his voice say inside my mind. Memories from the past six months started to flood through my mind and most of the very few memories that made me want to smile were of the past few days with Benji. He was so different, so perfect, so compassionate. He actually cared about me. Tonight was proof of that. He’d been given two opportunities to take advantage of me and he turned them both down. Most other men wouldn’t have cared about what I may feel in the morning or if I suddenly had doubts because of a fear that had consumed me. I sighed and a warm tear started to roll down my cheek. Regret was suddenly becoming overwhelming. I finally found the power to move and I immediately ran down the stairs, hoping to catch everyone before they left. I wanted to profess my love for Benji in front of everyone. I wanted them all to know exactly how I felt. Hell, I wanted the whole world to know how I felt.

I ran down my stairs as quickly as I could. I just had to catch him but when I got down stairs, there was no one to be seen. That’s when I heard the car start. I could still catch them, I realized and I made my way towards the front door where I fumbled with the lock before I was actually able to get the damn door to open. Damn my temporary lack of coordination, I thought to myself as I was finally able to fling the door open, only to see the car starting to head down the road. Without giving it second thought, hell, I hadn’t even given it a first thought, I ran out into the street.

“BENJI!!!!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs hoping that one of them would hear me and stop. They had to stop, I needed them to stop. I may lose Benji forever if they didn’t. They didn’t stop. I just stood there and watched as their cars drove farther and farther away and soon they were completely out my sight. I felt a great sense of loss rush over me and I instantly fell to the ground where tears started to spill from my eyes. He was gone. He’d actually left me. I know he was only doing what I had asked him to do but I hadn’t expected him to actually leave. He knew how much I needed him right now. How could he do that to me?

“Angela,” I heard Alana’s voice say softly as she placed her hands on my shoulders, trying to comfort me. “Come inside.”

“He’s gone,” I muttered, my voice cracking. “Benji’s gone.”

“Angela, come on, lets go inside,” Ali urged me once she squatted down to meet me at the level I was currently at. I shook my head. I didn’t want to go inside because that means that I would have to come to grips with the fact that Benji actually was gone, even though I already knew it. I just felt that if I went inside, I would acknowledge the fact that I let the best thing to come into my life slip out of my hands.

“But he… Benji’s gone,” I uttered pathetically.

“I know, lets go inside and figure something out okay?” she said softly to me as she helped me to my feet. I felt as if all of the strength in my body had been washed away. My weight was supported by Ali’s body as we walked back towards the house. Right as we reached the front door, I turned around and looked in the direction that Benji and everyone else had disappeared into and I felt more tears starting to flow down my cheeks.

“Shhhh,” Ali whispered as she shut the door and I started to whimper. “It’s gonna be okay Angie,” she assured me.

“Ali, can I just please be alone for now?” I asked her softly. I really didn’t want anyone to see me in the state that I was currently in. I know that I must look so fragile and I just wanted to have some time to get my thoughts together and figure out what to do. Ali looked at me for a second, her eyes looking deeply into mine, searching for what I was feeling; thinking. “I just need to get my thoughts together, please.”

“Okay,” she said nodding, “but I’m gonna be in my room and if at any time to you need me, even if I’m asleep, come and get me and I’ll be there for you.”

“Thanks,” I replied. Our eyes remained locked for a moment longer. I could tell that she really didn’t want to leave me alone. My eyes were silently pleading with hers so I knew that she would go to her room without an argument. Finally, she broke our eye contact and started to head up the stairs. I remained standing at the bottom of the stairs until I heard her door shut then I worked my way into the living room where I picked up my phone.

I stared at the phone for a moment then I turned my attention to looking around my living room. It was less than an hour ago that this room was filled with something that it hadn’t seen in a long time; happiness. I missed that feeling already. I turned my attention back to my phone and I immediately dialed Benji’s number. I knew he wasn’t home yet but I wanted a message to be waiting for him when he did. I sighed to myself, wondering exactly what I was going to say as I listened to the phone to ring. I inwardly gasped when I heard Benji’s machine pick up and his voice welcoming messages from friends and loved ones. Something I felt that I wasn’t any more. I painfully listened to the rest of the message as I waited for the tone.

“Benji, I’m sorry,” I said as soon as the tone went off, knowing that‘s what I needed him to hear most. So, if he ignored the rest of the message, at least I would know that he‘d heard my attempt at an apology. “I’m really really sorry. I didn’t want things to go the way they did. I was just so scared and so angry that I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to be hurt any more and I was afraid that sometime down the line, you would hurt me. I just… I just didn’t think I would be able to deal with that if that time ever came. I love you Benji,” I said as tears continued to stream down my cheeks as I spoke. “Even if you hate me because of what I did, because of how I know I hurt you, I just want you to know, need you to know, how I feel because if I don‘t tell you, I‘ll never be able to live with myself for not telling you when I had the chance. Ummm, I just want to thank you for everything that you did for me. I can’t explain how you made me feel. The closest thing that I could think of is that you made me feel alive again. Shit Ben, I owe you my fucking life. Uhh, I just want you to know that even if you never talk to me again,” I paused here, feeling my emotions starting to take over and was now having an affect on my voice, “I want you to know that I’ll always love you and you’ll always have a special place in my heart. No one will ever be able to take your place. I love you Ben,” I said, the last four words holding audible evidence of the fact that I was crying. That’s when I hung up the phone.

Things were all up to Benji now. If he ever wanted to talk to me again, he would call me, at least I hoped he would want to talk to me again. I prayed that he would want to talk to me again. I felt that I owed him a better explanation. Not some shitty message left on his machine. He deserved more than that. I looked down at the phone, willing it to ring, though I was positive Benji wasn’t even home yet. I sighed and forced myself to go up to my room. There was no point in sitting by the phone, I knew he wasn’t going to call, as much as I hated to admit it, I knew that it was the truth. I had hurt him, why would he want to give me a second chance? When I reached my room, I looked around. Suddenly, the space felt so large and empty without Benji. I let my eyes move around the room, taking in the sight of it once again but I stopped when I saw Benji’s hoodie draped on the chair in the corner. A small smile appeared on my face as I walked over to retrieve the hoodie and put it on.

The warmth that came from the hoodie was empty. It wasn’t the same as having Benji’s arms wrapped around me. I sniffed the hoodie, instantly regretting that I had washed it the other day because all evidence of Benji had been completely washed away. I moved slowly towards my bed, keeping the hoodie on. It just seemed to give me comfort. I sat on my bed and ran my fingers over the pillow that Benji had been using not too long ago. It was still warm. I pulled my hand away from the pillow, not wanting to taint it, as weird as that sounds. I sighed for what felt like the millionth time and laid on my bed, my back to the door. I wrapped my arms tightly around my body, wishing that they were Benji’s holding and I felt a warm tear roll down my cheek. I missed him so much already. It had only been a few moments but maybe it was the fact that Benji was never going to come back that made me miss him so damn much so fast.

Then suddenly, I felt the bed dip behind me. Someone was sitting on it and it wasn’t my sister. I knew it wasn’t Ali because the bed dipped significantly more than it would have if it had been her. My heart started to race. Benji had come back. I quickly turned around and I heard myself scream then everything went black.

Chapter 16

I tried my best to ignore the shooting pain in my stomach but it just seemed to get worse with each second. The pain was what was keeping me aware of what was happening to me. If it wasn’t for that, my mind would have probably blocked out what was happening and I would have gone off to some imaginary place where everything was perfect but no, the pain was too much, too real. I was bound, naked to my bed, completely at the mercy of the man who had put me there. I shuddered when I felt a warm liquid run down my stomach right after a long, cool object ran across it. Oh god, he just cut me.

“Stop, oh god just stop,” I pathetically whispered as I pulled at the restraints that held my arms and legs in place.

“Shut the fuck up,” he hissed and suddenly, I felt a sting in my face. Tears instantly weld up in my eyes. I fought to keep them from escaping because I didn’t want him to know how vulnerable I was and how much pain I was in. He didn’t deserve to know that or to get the satisfaction from it. But I knew that I wouldn’t be able to keep my screams in long because I knew things would only get worse from here. I knew I would only be subjected to more pain as the night went by. “You should have kept your fucking mouth shut at that fucking video store you little whore,” he said, with pure evil in his voice.

“I’m sorry, please just don’t do this to me,” I pleaded.

“I told you to shut the fuck up!” he yelled and his hand connected with my cheek yet again causing me to whimper in pain. Memories of my dream started to flood my mind and I knew this time that this was really happening to me and my pain was going to be a lot worse, probably much worse than I could have ever imagined. I shuddered and continued to battle my tears when I felt his hands travel up and down my body. Right at that moment, I wanted to vomit. I could feel the bile in the back of my throat as he touched me.

“This wouldn’t be happening if you just hadn’t run away from me that night in the alley,” he said, almost informatively and as if this entire thing had been my fault. Had it been? If I hadn’t run away from him, he wouldn’t be in my house right now. I wouldn’t have to go through all of this again. But if I hadn’t ran, I wouldn’t have met Benji. Hell, what does that matter any more anyway? In only a couple days, I managed to alienate him and drive him out of my life. So really, it wouldn’t have mattered if I met Benji, his time in my life was only brief. Knowing and losing Benji, made the pain worse. He was right, I shouldn’t have ran. I shouldn’t have fought him off. I should have just taken what was coming to me. At least if I had done that, all of this would be over.

“I should just fucking kill you for all that shit that you caused me today,” he said, his voice oozing with pure evil. Yes, just kill me, I thought silently but then I mentally slapped myself for thinking such a thing. I need to be alive to take care of Alana. She needed me, even if I was broken. It was better that she had a broken me rather than no one. Alana had saved me twice and she didn’t do a damn thing. I really owed a lot to her. Suddenly, I remembered what had happened before, which her boyfriend and I felt a hint of guilt. I’d over reacted to the situation. I was broken from my thoughts when I heard a zipper.

“I’m really gonna enjoy this,” he seethed. This time I couldn’t help it and tears ran down my face.

“Please don’t,” I whispered.

“Begging and pleading is only gonna make me harder,” he simply stated as he looked over my body and licked his lips. I closed my eyes tightly and started to once again fight against my restraints. “Yeah, keep doing that. Keep struggling,” he urged and I immediately stopped moving. I wanted to minimize his pleasure as much as possible. It was a petty move but I felt that it was one of the only forms of control that I had and I was going to exercise it.

I started to loose it even more when I heard him pull out a condom wrapper and open the foil package. My body tensed as I laid there for what seemed like an eternity as he put it on himself. I bit my lip hard and pulled my eyes shut even tighter before in an attempt to brace myself for what I knew was about to happen as well as keep myself from screaming and pleading with him. Just when I thought that I was going to be torn apart, the weight on top of me shifted very quickly and I heard a loud thud only seconds later.

“Get the fuck off of her!” I heard Benji’s voice yell. Benji! He’d come back after all! I guess he did love me or at least care for me greatly. I smiled mentally but then quickly opened my eyes and looked over at the two men who were piled on top of one another, on my bedroom floor, fighting. I started struggling against my restraints once again, hoping to get free so that I could at least call the police but it was no use, I was too tightly bound. I heard Benji groan and suddenly, he was on the bottom, being pummeled by my attacker.

“Benji!” I yelled, my fear taking over. It was like hearing my voice gave Benji some new found strength because he was quickly able to over take the other man. I watched them fight, completely helpless to do anything but unsuccessfully tug at my restraints in a hope to get free. My attacker appeared to be losing strength and before long, he stopped fighting back. Benji’s punches didn’t stop though. He continued to allow his fists to connect with the face of my attacker.

“Benji!” I called, and he stopped and looked up at me. “Untie me, please.” Benji nodded, looked down at my attacker and punched him one more time before he got off of his body and climbed on my bed and reached for one of the restraints around my arm and quickly opened it. “I thought you hated me,” I said softly, tears in my eyes.

“I could never hate you,” he said with sincerity in his eyes. I smiled at him and he smiled back, but the moment was cut short when Benji was yanked from the bed and pushed onto the floor.

“You should have just stayed the fuck out of this!” my attacker yelled as he produced a gun. Before I could register what was going on, I heard a loud pop and Benji groaned in pain. The man looked up at me, pointed the gun in my direction and I froze. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to free myself in time to escape. My eyes locked with his for a second and then he spoke. “I’ll be back you little fucking slut,” and with that, he turned and left. I waited only a second before I attempted to free myself. My fingers were shaking so it was difficult but I eventually was able to free myself. I quickly jumped from my bed and knelt down beside Benji. He was bleeding profusely and I felt more tears coming on.

“Benji hang on,” I urged him. “Please hang on.”

“It hurts,” Benji whispered, his voice weak.

“I know baby, but I’m gonna go call an ambulance. Please just hold on, alright?”

“I’ll try,” he responded. I nodded and reluctantly pulled myself away from his side and ran into the hallway, completely forgetting that I was naked. Once I grabbed the phone, I immediately dialed 911.

“This is 911, what’s your emergency?” the operator asked.

“My boyfriend,” I started breathlessly. “He’s been shot. He’s bleeding really bad, I need help! Please!”

“Ma’am, relax and tell me what happened,” the operator said calmly.

“I… I was attacked and Benji came in right in the middle of it and he tried to help me but the guy shot him,” I said, my words coming out quickly. I ran back up the stairs while I was on the phone. Once I made it back to my room, I knelt down besides Benji and took his hand in mine.

“Where’s the other guy now?”

“I don’t know. He left,” I said, tears streaming down my face at a rapid pace. I looked down at Benji before softly encouraging him, “hold on baby, hold on.”

“What’s your address?”

“867 Parker Drive,” I told the operator.

“Alright, an ambulance will be there in a few moments,” the operator informed me.

“Hurry please, he needs help,” I pleaded. I spoke to Benji again, my voice soft and I tired, but failed, to keep my voice calm, “they’ll be here soon. Hold on a little longer okay?”

“Ma’am, is he conscious?”

“Yeah, barely.”

“The ambulance is almost there,” the operator informed me.

“Okay,” I whispered. I momentarily let go of Benji’s hand and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt so that I wouldn’t be naked when the police arrived and I could go in the ambulance with Benji. “Ben, you awake?”

“Yeah,” he answered, his voice was so soft and so distant that it was almost completely non-existent.

“They’re here!” I yelled when I heard the sirens from the ambulance. “Thank you!” I said to the operator before hanging up the phone and running down the stairs. I was panting when I reached the front door. I opened it just as the paramedics reached it.

“Where is he?” one man asked.

“Upstairs,” I said, “first door on the left,” I called as they immediately took off up the stairs. I followed them and watched them put Benji on to a stretcher. They moved quickly and before I knew it, we were in the ambulance. I sat in the corner, watching as the paramedics around me worked on Benji quickly. I sniffled as I looked at Benji. His shirt had been ripped open and his chest was covered in blood. I watched as blood seeped from the wound and I felt so helpless and responsible.

“I love you,” Benji whispered to me and suddenly a loud beep emanated from one of the machines.

Chapter 17

“Please Benji, please don’t die,” I whispered to myself as I sat on one of the hard plastic chairs in the hospital waiting room. Immediately upon arriving at the hospital, Benji was taken to the operating room. The only nurse I had spoken too wanted to know how to contact his family, so I gave her Joel’s number. I still don’t know if she called him yet. I’ve been here for at least twenty minutes. I would think that Joel would be here already, his brother, his twin brother as a matter of fact, needs him more than he‘s probably ever needed him before and he‘s not here yet. He’s probably on his way, I told myself. I needed someone by my side who understood how I felt at the moment. I put my head in my hands, my tears still rapidly running down my cheeks. I’ve now reached a point where I’m surprised I still have tears left in me to shed. I would have thought that I had exhausted that well, but apparently I haven‘t. My tears just continued to fall.

I felt so responsible. Benji wouldn’t be where he was if it wasn’t for me. He was trying to protect me and only succeeded in getting himself hurt seriously, maybe even getting himself killed. I shuddered at the thought. Benji couldn’t die. I needed him too much and he didn’t deserve to die. He was only doing the right thing, he only wanted to help me. Why should he be punished for that? I sighed and shifted uncomfortably in my seat, waiting for something to happen. I hated hospitals, I’ve had too many bad experiences inside of them. People I love seem to always die here.

I shook the thought of Benji dying from my mind, at least I tried to. I sighed and looked around the room that I was sitting in, trying to find something to keep my mind occupied until Joel got here. My eyes fell upon a window and I rose from my seat and made my way towards it. I looked through the glass and into the night. Rain was pouring down and in an odd way, it sort of reflected how I felt at the moment. It was dreary and dark; lonely and cold. Tears continued to steadily flow down my face as I looked out of the window. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to fight off the cold that was beginning to take over my body. I ran my finger across my stomach, where my attacker had cut me. There really wasn’t too much damage. The doctors took a quick look at it and bandaged me up real quick then sent me to the waiting room to wait for news on Benji’s condition. That seemed like an eternity ago when in reality it couldn’t have been no more than an hour.

“Angela?” Joel’s worried voice asked, snapping me from my thoughts, as he walked into the waiting room. I nearly burst out in tears upon seeming him. His eyes were blood shot and his clothes were disheveled, it was apparent that he had been awaken by the call from the nurse. “What happened?”

“Joel!” I called, quickly running into his outstretched arms, desperately in need of some sort of comfort. “He was only trying to help. The guy… he.. he came after me again. He was in my room. He had me tied down to my bed but Benji came in before anything really bad could happen. But he hurt Benji. Joel, I‘m so sorry. I‘m so sorry,” I said as I lent my head against his shoulder and started to cry harder than I had been before. “It’s all my fault!”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” Joel said in an attempt to calm me down as he wrapped his arms around me tightly and placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

“I’m so scared, Joel,” I admitted, not having the strength to argue with him. I knew this entire episode had been my fault. If I didn’t need Benji so badly, he wouldn’t have been there and neither Joel or myself would be trapped in this godforsaken hospital scared about what was going to happen to Benji. He kissed the top of my head again before speaking.

“I know, I am too,” he replied. “But Benji’s strong. He’ll pull through.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” I whispered back.

“He will,” Joel replied, though his voice didn’t sound all to convincing. It was obvious that he was as afraid that we would lose Benji as I was, probably even more so. Hell, he had every right to be. They were fucking twins, they’ve been together their entire lives. Joel wouldn’t know what to do if Benji died. I could only begin to imagine what was going through Joel’s mind right now. Was he thinking about what life would be like without Benji? No, he couldn’t be. Though I’ve only known these guys a few days, I knew that Joel wouldn’t give up on Benji like that.

“How are you feeling?” I asked him, staying locked in his embrace.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Joel said, removing his arms from around me and moving to sit on one of the plastic chairs. “This just doesn’t seem real right now. It‘s all like a bad dream. I just keep thinking that I‘m gonna wake up and none of this happened, that Benji didn‘t end up in the hospital.” I looked at him for a second before sitting down on the chair next to him and turning my attention back to the window that had offered me escape before. I guess I wanted to escape what he had said. I knew he hadn’t intended it, but his words hurt me. They made me think that he’d wished I hadn’t come into their lives. Not that I can blame him. Neither he or Benji would be where they are right now if it wasn’t for me. I bit my lip when I looked back over at Joel, who was looking down at the ground.

“Joel, I’m sorry, this is all my fault. If I hadn‘t called for help.…,” I said, my voice trailing off. Joel looked up at me with confusion in his eyes and this time it was my turn to look at the floor. I stared at the black and white tiles that made the floor, not knowing what else I should say.

“Don’t say that,” he replied, and it sounded as if he was shocked by what I had admitted.

Keeping my eyes on the ground I said, “but you said that you… you made it sound like you’d regretted that you met me.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he answered. I looked over at him, to find him staring intently at me, I quickly turned my attention back to the floor.

“He wouldn’t be hurt if it wasn’t for me,” I told him.

“Benji’s a big boy, he made his own decisions,” Joel stated as he placed his hand on my shoulder. “You didn’t force him to do anything that he didn’t want to. Please, don’t tear yourself up over this. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I just feel so guilty,” I cried as I turned around in my chair so that I could rest my head on Joel’s shoulder. He once again wrapped his arms around me, but this time he gently ran his hand up and down my back, in an attempt to soothe me, much like Benji had done.

“I understand, but there’s no need too,” he assured me. “You didn’t do anything wrong. So please, don’t do that to yourself.”

“Have you talked to any of the other guys yet?” I asked, changing the subject.

“No, I, um, pretty much ran out the door,” he replied. “I’m gonna have to call my mother and let her know what happened. I don’t need her hearing about this through watching the ten o’clock news.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” I said softly. “I should call Ali to let her know what’s going on.”

“How ‘bout I have Billy or Paul go to your house and get her and bring her over here, that is, if you want,” he offered. I looked at him and nodded my head.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” I said softly, a yawn escaping my lips. It was then that I realized just how tired I was. Tonight had taken so much energy out of me and quite frankly, I was surprised that I’m still awake and completely aware of my surroundings. I rose from my chair and walked out into the hallway of the hospital, when Joel pulled out his cell phone. I had assumed that he was going to call his mother first and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be there for that conversation. I knew that it was going to be an emotional conversation and I didn’t know how much more emotion I could take.

I wandered a few steps down the hall before I came across a water fountain. I pressed the button and drank the cool water that poured from the spout. The cold water was a refreshing feeling as it went down my throat. I released the button and looked down the hall. It was empty and quiet. All signs of life were gone, which I guess shouldn’t surprise me. There is a lot of death at hospitals. It’s probably where you would find the highest concentration of death anywhere else.

I walked a little further down the hall, noting all of the closed doors, hiding the agony of the people behind them. Oh how I hoped that Benji made it to be behind one of these doors. At least then, I would be able to see him, be near him, feel him. I wrapped my arms around myself again, feeling a sudden rush of cool air rush over my body. I walked a little further down the hall before deciding that I should head back to be with Joel. I didn’t want to be alone right now and I was sure that he needed someone too. As I walked down the hall again, I looked at the doors one more time as I passed them. When I made it back to the waiting room, Joel was off the phone.

“So?” I said causing Joel to look up at me. He hadn’t even noticed that I had entered the room he was so overtaken by his thoughts.

“My mom was pretty upset,” he started. “She wanted to fly out here but I convinced her otherwise, for now at least. I just don’t want her to see any of this cause I know that it’ll break her heart. I just can’t deal with that right now.”

“You can’t keep a mother away from her child when they need her most,” I replied.

“I know,” Joel simply answered. “I called Billy, he’s gonna go back to your place and spend the night there so that your sister won’t be alone when she wakes up and she can still go to school.”

“Okay, thanks,” I replied, not pushing the fact that he had changed the subject, after all, I was guilty of doing the same thing. There were things that we weren’t ready to talk about yet. I sat down next to him again and took his hand into mine. It was sort of my way of showing him that I was there for him.

“Mr. Madden?” a doctor asked from the door way of the waiting room.

“Yes?” Joel questioned, immediately jumping up from his seat, with me doing the same.

“We have some news on your brothers condition….”

Chapter 18

“We have some news on your brothers condition,” the doctor stated causing to Joel grip my hand tighter, bracing for the news that we were about to hear. I could feel a small amount of sweat starting to form as I anxiously awaited what the doctor was going to say. I silently started to pray that Benji was okay, that he was alive. “He’s lucky.” Both Joel and I sighed, immensely relieved because if he was ‘lucky’ that meant that he was still alive. “He lost a lot of blood and that put a huge strain on his heart but the bullet itself missed all of his vital organs. We were able to extract the bullet and stop the bleeding relatively easy, again, he‘s very lucky and we expect him to make a full recovery.” I sighed in relief once again, Benji was going to be alright. Joel wasn’t going to lose his brother and I wouldn’t lose the man that saved my life who also happened to be the first man that I’ve ever loved.

“Can we go see him?” Joel questioned and I waited anxiously for the doctors response.

“Yes, but he’s still sleeping,” the doctor told us.

“We just need to see him,” Joel replied and the doctor nodded knowingly. He probably had seen this scenario countless times before. He had to have some idea of the pain that we were feeling at the moment and the comfort seeing Benji, even though he wasn’t awake, would give us. The doctor turned to exit the waiting room and we followed closely behind him, our hands still linked together. I was scared of what Benji was going to look like once we entered his room and I’m sure Joel was just as nervous. This had to be a moment that Joel thought that he was never going to see. Then again, who would ever expect something like this? It’s not like this is an everyday occurrence in a normal family. I suppressed what had to be my millionth sigh of the night as we walked through labyrinth that was the hallway. Finally we stopped in front of door that looked exactly like all of the others.

“This is his room,” the doctor said softly. “Nurses will be coming in to check on him throughout the night just to keep an eye on his condition.”

“Alright,” Joel said weakly. The doctor nodded and turned to leave us with Benji. Joel turned and looked at me and silently asked if I was ready to do this. Neither of us really knew what to expect.

“Let’s go,” I whispered and Joel reached out to the door knob of Benji’s hospital room. We both inhaled deeply as the door swung open. Our eyes fell on Benji’s lifeless form. Benji was hooked up to several machines and I could hear the steady beeping emanating from one of them. My eyes fell on the bandages, which blood had seeped through, that were wrapped around his waist, covering the bullet wound. Silently, I thanked god for letting Benji pull through this, at least make it through what I believed was the hardest part. I looked over to Joel, all the color had been drained from his face upon seeing Benji. I gripped his hand tighter.

“Oh god Benji,” Joel muttered to himself then continued, “you’re one lucky mother fucker.”

“What do we do now?” I asked Joel, not really knowing how to handle the situation.

“We wait until Benji wakes up,” he answered, shutting the door. I nodded and Joel’s hand fell from mine and he made his way over to one of the chairs that was sitting at the side of the room. “So what exactly happened back there?” I looked at him for a long moment, before speaking.

“That guy somehow ended up in my house, in my room and he chained me down to my bed. He cut me,” I said, slightly lifting my shirt to show Joel the bandage that adorned my stomach. He glanced down at it then looked up into my eyes sympathetically. “I was naked and screaming for help and Benji just came out of now where. They ended up on the floor fighting and when Benji thought he had the upper hand and had knocked the guy out, he came to set me free, but the guy wasn’t out. So he jumped up and knocked Benji back onto the floor before he shot him.”

“So other than the cut on your stomach, you’re okay?” Joel asked.

“Physically, yeah but other than that, I‘m a complete mess,” I told him honestly. He nodded, showing that he understood how I was feeling.

“You’ll get better,” Joel said softly, “Benj and I will make sure of it.”

I smiled weakly before answering, “thanks.” Joel yawned before shutting his eyes and leaning back against the chair. I could tell that he was completely drained from this situation, it was obvious but I understood because I was in the same position. I looked over at Joel for
a moment longer before I looked back over at Benji. I wanted him to wake up already, I wanted to talk to him, hear his voice. I scratched the back of my head and walked over to the bed that was next to Benji’s and sat down on it. It creaked softly under my weight as I moved over so that I could pull my legs up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around them and then locked my eyes on Benji. There was no way that I was going to get any sleep until I could speak with him.

After a few moments, I could hear Joel’s soft snoring from the other end of the room. I was glad that he was getting some sleep, he really seemed to need it at the moment. Hell, I did too but there was something preventing me from getting any sleep whatsoever. I sighed shutting my eyes for just a moment but reopening them quickly. I didn’t want to miss a single second.

“I’m sorry Benji,” I finally muttered. I wasn’t sure if he could hear me, but I just couldn’t wait any longer to say it, though I knew I would be uttering those three words a lot more in the near future, I felt that I needed to get some kind of start. I needed to hear myself say it because at least then maybe a little of the guilt would go away. If Benji forgave me, maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad about the whole thing.

I watched quietly when a nurse came in to check on Benji. She looked over a few machines, took Benji’s pulse among other things and it seemed that Benji was fine because she left the room without saying anything to me. I climbed off of the bed and walked over towards Benji’s. I took his hand in mine, shocked by just how cold it felt. Despite that, I brought his hand up to my lips and placed a soft kiss on it. I let my other hand travel up to his head where I began to run my fingers through his hair.

“You really scared us back there Benji,” I started. “When we were in that ambulance and you died for that minute, I was scared fucking shitless. I was so close to losing you, hell, for that short time I had lost you. Everything around me seemed to move in like slow motion and the only thing I understood was that your heart had stopped. While the paramedics worked on you, I prayed that I would be able to be with you again, that god wouldn’t take you away from me so quickly. Benj, I love you and I’m sorry for pushing you out like I did. That bullet was meant for me and I’m sorry that you had to take it for me.”

“Angie?” Benji’s raspy voice questioned.

“Ben?” I asked.

“What happened? Where am I?”

“You got shot, you’re at the hospital,” I told him.

“Oh yeah,” he answered with a slight laugh, “I do seem to remember that now.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay I guess, my stomach just really hurts,” he replied, pain written across his face.

“I’m sorry about this. Hell, I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t mean to push you away,” I said, repeating what I had said just moments before. I wasn’t sure if he had heard any of it or not and I really needed him to know that I was truly sorry.

“It’s not your fault babe,” he replied with a small smile. “You were just scared and I can understand that.”

“No, if I hadn’t pushed you away, this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have been able to get into the house…” I started but was interrupted by Benji.

“You don’t know that. He still could have gotten in and I may as well ended up here just the same. So please, don’t blame yourself.”

“Benji?” Joel’s groggy voice suddenly asked.

“Hey Joel, didn’t see you over there.”

“How long have you been awake?”

“I just woke up,” he replied.

“Ben, I’m glad you’re okay,” Joel said sincerely as he stood up and walked over towards us. “You really scared the shit out of me. I almost thought that I had lost you there for a second.”

“Nah, you know me man, always a fighter. A little bullet wasn‘t gonna stop me,” Benji joked.

“Benjamin,” Joel replied seriously. “This isn’t a time for jokes. Everyone was really scared. I called mom and she wanted to jump on a plane in the middle of the night to see you but I told her not too. Paul and Billy are frightened out of there damn minds. None of us knew if you were gonna be okay or not…”

“But I am,” Benji replied. “So you can call everyone and tell them that I’ll be fine.” Joel looked at his brother intently for a second.

“Geez Benji, you’re something else,” he laughed.

“Yeah, well you know me,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m gonna call mom and let her know what’s going on, I fell asleep before I could before,” Joel answered before walking out of the room.

“How are you? Did you get that cut looked at?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I answered him softly, just content with knowing that he was alive and was going to be alright. That was the one thing I needed most.

“So, did the police get that guy?”

“No.”

“He’s still out there?!” Benji practically yelled.

“Yeah….”

Chapter 19

I watched Benji sleep on the hospital bed next to me. He hadn’t stayed awake long seeing that all of his energy had been put into his fight for survival. But he had been awake long enough to hear a quick recap of what had gone on after he had lost consciousness, including my millionth talk with the police and the fact that they still had no idea where this man had gone. I yawned, but I didn’t even feel tired. I’d given up on sleep because now not only did I have images of my attacker plaguing me, but I was also forced to relive the moment that Benji had been shot. Seeing Benji on the floor bleeding and not knowing if he was going to be okay and without being able to do anything about it scared the shit out of me even now, having already been through it and knowing that Benji was okay.

I sighed, becoming bored. Joel had left about an hour ago to go home and take a shower and what not. He said that he would be as quick as he possibly could then I could go home and do the same, but I knew there was no way that I was going to be able to do that. First of all, I didn’t want to leave Benji. I wanted to be at his side when he woke up or if he felt any pain and I couldn’t do that if I was at home taking a shower. Secondly, and probably the most frightening reason I wouldn’t go back to my house for a shower was that I was deathly afraid that this guy would come back for me. After all, he had directly said to me that he would be back and I didn’t want to be there when he did, in fact, return. I wanted to be as far away as physically possible.

Shaking my head, I pushed those thoughts from my mind, at least for the moment. Right now, I just wanted to make sure that Benji was alright and got everything that he needed. I looked up at Benji’s face, he seemed so content in his sleep. It didn’t seem like he was feeling any pain at the moment and I was thankful for that, at least he could have some slight comfort if even it only lasted for a few moments. Gently, I raised my hand and ran my fingers through his hair and smiled softly. I was so happy that I could feel him again. I’d almost lost him, lost this feeling, twice in one night.

“Mornin,” Benji’s dry, raspy voice greeted me, though he still hadn’t opened his eyes. My smile grew slightly upon hearing his voice.

“Hey,” I replied gently, my fingers still running through his hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay for having been a gaping hole in my gut,” he replied, finally opening his eyes and a playful smirk playing on his lips.

“Benjamin, that’s not funny,” I answered seriously. He looked into my eyes for a moment, the smile disappearing from his lips.

“Sorry,” he said honestly. “I was just trying to lighten the situation a little.”

“Don’t,” I replied, my voice soft. “It’s hard for me to see you like this. It’s hard for me to have the memory of what happened fresh in my mind, and it‘ll probably be fresh in my mind for a long time….”

“Ang, relax,” Benji cut me off as my voice began to shake from pain and the fear of the situation. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

“I wish I could believe that Benji,” I pathetically uttered. “Everything just seems to be falling apart. First the nightmare then my breakdown. I thought things would get better and it looked like they would for a while then all this shit happened. I pushed you away and seeing you leave nearly killed me emotionally then that ass hole came back and tired to hurt me,” I paused and looked at Benji. His eyes were locked onto me. I looked at him for a moment longer but he didn’t say anything, he was just waiting for me to continue venting my emotions. I could see in his eyes that he wanted me to get all of this out. I wanted to get it out, I needed to get it out. After another moment, I took a deep breath and continued. “Then you came to my rescue once again and for a second, everything looked like it was going to be okay again then he shot you and I thought it was all over for good. Shit Benji, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” I looked at Benji as tears started to pour from my eyes. He reached his hands up to my face and brushed the tears from my cheeks.

“Please just hang on for a little longer,” Benji urged me. I looked into his eyes and I could almost swear that I saw tears in them. “I know it’s hard right now, it’s hard for me too right now. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I do know that we both need to be strong in order to get through this. So please hang on, for me.”

“Anything for you Benji,” I whispered before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

“I love you Angela,” Benji replied with such sincerity that I was breath taken. My heart fluttered knowing that he really did love me.

“I love you too Benjamin and I’m sorry for pushing you away.”

“Don’t be sorry, you were scared and you didn‘t know what to do,” he assured me, his hands still on my cheeks. “It’s over now and we’re together.” I smiled weakly and I looked into his eyes and saw the love that he had. I was completely amazed by what had just happened. I had expected that Benji would be angry with me for what I had said to him but I was shocked to see that he was completely understanding. If Benji wasn’t perfect I don’t know what perfect is.

“Where’s Joel?” Benji asked.

“He went home to take a shower and make some phone calls,” I told him. “He should be back soon.”

“Maybe you should go home too. Get some sleep, eat something decent…” Benji started before I interrupted him.

“No, I’m not going back to that house until they get that guy,” I told Benji sternly. “He said that he would be back and I’m not going back to a house that he knows how to find.”

“Well, you can’t stay here cause who knows how long I’m gonna have to stay here and you’re going to have to eat sometime,” Benji stated.

“I’m not going back to that house,” I said sternly once again. Benji sighed.

“Then at least go to Joel’s house, at least for a couple hours,” he said, and it almost sounded as if he were begging. “Please, for me.” I looked at him for a moment. He was slick. I had just said that I would do anything for him and now he was using that to his advantage. I sighed, giving in.

“Alright,” I said softly.

“Thank you,” he said, taking my hand up to his lips and placing a kiss on it. “I just want to make sure that you’re alright.”

“I know,” I said. “Thanks.”

“Look who’s up!” Joel’s voice sounded from the door of the hospital room.

“Hey!” Benji greeted his brother.

“You feelin’ okay?” Joel asked.

“Yeah, considering the circumstances,” Benji answered. Joel nodded his head, understanding.

“Oh Angie, Billy took Alana to school this morning and he’s gonna bring her by my house when she gets out until things clam down. She already packed her stuff and she got a back ready for you too so that you have some stuff. I don‘t know how safe it is for you to go back at the moment so I‘d rather have you two stay with me,” he said to me.

“Thanks Joel,” I replied. “I didn’t want to go back to my house anyway.”

“Alana said that you might not want to so we decided to take care of you guys,” Joel answered with a comforting smile. I couldn’t remember a time when I felt that I was so protected from the world. Benji and Joel were truly amazing people.

“You guys are amazing, you know that?” I asked, looking from Joel to Benji.

“Duh,” Benji replied jokingly with a smile. I laughed softly, finally relaxing for the first time since last night.

“I talked to the doctor also,” Joel said after a moment.

“What he say?” Benji asked curiously. I just looked at Joel, waiting for him to speak.

“That you seem to be doing alright but you’re probably going to have to stay here for about a week or so,” he answered.

“But everything else is okay?” I asked, just wanting to be completely sure.

“Doctor says Benji’s gonna be just fine.”

Chapter 20

Home. That word is so relative. What is home really? Some say home is where the heart is, so then where is home when you feel as if you don’t have a heart? Because that’s exactly how I feel right now. I’m sitting here in Joel’s living room thinking about everything that I’ve been through and how much everyone has gone through because of me. I can’t say that I don’t feel guilty because I do. I mean I know that most of what happened was completely out of my control but it seems like I’m the common thread between everything bad that has happened recently. Pushing those thoughts from my head, I pulled the light blanket that I’d brought down stairs with me, over me and tried to make myself comfortable on the couch.

Benji had been allowed to come home today and he wanted me to stay in the room with him and I had, until he fell asleep and that’s when I snuck down here. I wanted to be alone to think and for some reason, I wanted to be away from Benji at the moment. I guess a little bit of the guilt that I had been suppressing had managed to escape when I looked at him. I sighed, a little aggravated by the entire situation

“What are you doing down here?” I heard Joel ask as he made his way into the living room.

I shrugged before answering, “I don’t know. I guess I just felt kinda bad about what happened. I feel sorta responsible.”

“Don’t,” he stated seriously as he moved closer to the couch, “Benji doesn’t blame you for what happened so you shouldn’t blame yourself either.”

“I know, I know,” I replied, with another sigh. Joel sat down on the end of the couch and looked at me with concerned eyes.

“Wanna talk?” he asked.

“About what?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. How ‘bout how you’re feeling?”

“I’m feeling like shit, Joel,” I said turning my attention to the floor. I couldn’t look him in the eye. He and Benji had the same eyes so looking into Joel‘s made me feel all the same guilt as looking into Benji‘s. “And I’m scared. Everything is happening so damn fast and I don’t know what to do. I just feel like I’m barely holding on and I’m gonna slip at any moment now and I don‘t know if there‘s gonna be anyone to catch me.”

“Benji’s not going anywhere and neither am I or your sister,” Joel responded. “We all care about you. We’re gonna help you get through this.”

“That’s the problem Joel, I don’t know what this is,” I admitted. “I can’t blame everything on what’s been happing lately cause I had a lot of shit to deal with before this all happened. The attack just kinda compounded things and added a couple of hurdles on top of everything else.”

“Life sucks like that,” Joel said jokingly. I smiled and allowed one small laugh to escape from my lips.

“You don’t have to tell me that twice,” I responded.

“Look, just think about the good things that you’ve got, which is a lot,” Joel suggested. “Alana is a great girl and she loves you and might I say, you’ve done a good job being the big sister and taking care of her. And now you have Benji who’s a great guy, and I’m not just saying that cause he’s my brother. He loves you and I know you love him, what else could you need?”

“Answers.”

“They’ll come,” he said. “Don’t get too caught up in trying to find them because that’s how you forget about the things that you’ve already got.”

“I can’t be comfortable with what I have until I know that I’m not gonna loose it,” I sighed. Suddenly, I felt Joel’s hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him, his brown eyes locked onto me.

“See, that’s part of your problem,” he started and I looked at him questioningly. “You’re afraid that you’re gonna lose everything and if you keep running from it, then you just might. Benji will wait for you as long as you need him to, he’s that kind of person, but if while you’re with him that you aren’t actually with him and by that I mean if you keep letting yourself get to scared over something that might not ever happen and you start to push him away, don’t pull him back in until you’re ready for him completely. He’s not a yo-yo so he’s not going to be able to just keep coming and going like it doesn‘t bother him or because that‘s how it‘s ‘supposed‘ to be. Love him Angie, that’s all you need to do right now. Everything will work itself out and whatever doesn’t, Benji will be there to help you sort out, that is, if you want him there.”

“Of course I want him there,” I replied.

“Then be there for him now and let things work themselves out for now,” he continued. “The police are doing all they can, this guy isn’t gonna be out there for much longer.”

“Thanks Joel,” I said as I pulled him into a hug.

“No problem, now go get your butt upstairs!” he said then clapped his hands together twice.

“Loser,” I joked as I rose from the couch and walked towards the stairs.

“That’s me,” he replied and I laughed then shook my head. I opened the door to the bedroom that Benji and I wear sharing quietly once I reached it. After stepping into the room, I shut the door behind me, hoping that I didn’t wake Benji.

“Where’d you go?” I heard Benji’s groggy voice ask. So much for not waking him.

“Downstairs, I couldn’t sleep,” I answered.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just have a lot on my mind,” I relied as I crawled back into the bed.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked as I rested my head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to him.

“I was just thinking about the whole situation. I was feeling kinda bad at first then I had a talk with Joel,” I explained. “So, now I’m feeling a lot better.”

“That’s good,” he replied. “It’s not your fault ya know?”

“I know.”

“You had no control over what happened,” he continued.

“I know,” I repeated.

“Just wanted to make sure that you knew.”

“I love you Benji.”

“I love you too babe,” he replied and placed a soft kiss on the top of my head.

“I wanna be with you.”

“You are with me,” he returned.

“No, I wanna be with you with you,” I told him. “I wanna give myself to you.” I could feel Benji’s grip tighten around me a bit, pulling my even closer to him, if that were even possible. I once again inhaled his scent and awaited his reply, when I didn’t get one, I said, “Benji?”

“You’re not ready,” he simply stated. “It’s only been a little over a week since the last time when you freaked out. You still need more time.”

“No I don’t Benji,” I replied. “I need you.” Benji was silent again and honestly, I didn’t know how I should take it. I knew Benji loved me and he just wanted to be sure that I was ready, but I was telling him that I was, what more could he want from me?

“We don’t need to rush,” he replied softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“But Benji…”

“No buts. I want our first time together to be special. I wanna make it worth the wait,” he explained. I looked at Benji intently for a second, considering what he was saying to me. “I love you.”

“I love you too Benji.”

“You’re not mad right?”

“Of course not,” I replied honestly. How could I be mad at him for only wanting to love and protect me.

“Good,” he said, kissing the top of my head once again. We both looked up when we heard a knock and the door and the door open slowly.

“Guys?” Joel said softly.

“Yeah?” Benji answered.

“The police just called. They want us to come down to the station, they caught the guy.”

Chapter 21

Nervously I played with the hem of my t-shirt as we rode down to the police station in complete silence. Things were about to end weren‘t they? Joel and I just needed to identify him and things would pretty much be over, right? That’s the way that Benji said it would work but for some reason, I just couldn’t believe it. I had a weird feeling about all of this. Something just wasn’t right and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at the moment. I was probably just nervous, I tried to tell myself. That would make sense because every time me and this man came in contact, something terrible happened. I just had to be feeling apprehensive, that had to be it, didn’t it? I mean, what else could it be?

I looked at Benji who appeared to be asleep in the passengers seat, the hood of his hoodie pulled down so that it completely covered his face. A small smile played on my lips as I kept my eyes on him. He seemed so happy and content in his sleep. He didn’t appear to be in any pain at all. Most of the pain had begun to fade, though some still lingered. Even though he wouldn’t admit it, it hurt. I could tell by the look on his face when he moved certain ways. That look always seemed to send a spark of guilt up my spine, but I tried my best to ignore it, saying to myself that what happened hadn’t been my fault, I wasn‘t the one that shot Benji.

“You okay back there?” Joel suddenly asked, bringing me from my thoughts.

“I guess,” I sighed.

“What do you mean you guess? They caught the guy, I thought you’d be excited about that,” Joel questioned, looking in the rearview mirror to glance at me quickly before turning his attention back to the road.

“I don’t know,” I said quietly, “something just doesn’t feel right.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I knew Joel, I’d tell you,” I explained. “I just have this feeling that something’s gonna happen.”

“What can happen? We’re gonna be in a police station,” he responded. “There are gonna be fuckin cops everywhere. It’s pretty much impossible for anything bad to happen. Besides, me and Benji will kick that guys ass before he does anything else to you.” I sighed again, knowing that Joel was completely right, but also allowing myself to smile at his last comment.

“Yeah, sure. Go after him now that he’s harmless,” I joked. “You’re right, I guess my imagination is just getting the best of me,” I continued seriously, hoping that he was right and I was just overreacting. He smiled at me kindly.

“We’re almost there. We should wake Benji,” Joel announced.

“Why? He looks so peaceful,” I said, “besides, does the really have to come in? As long as me and you can identify him, isn’t that all they need?”

“He was the one that got shot,” he simply replied and I sighed in defeat, knowing that he was right, again. Damn that Joel for being right all the damn time.

“Benji, babe, you gotta get up, we’re almost there,” I said shaking his arm lightly.

“Five more minutes,” he muttered and I snickered. He was so damn cute.

“Benj, we’ll be there in less than five minutes,” I responded. He just groaned.

“Benji, get the fuck up man,” Joel said, “cause we’re here.” This time Benji grunted but he pulled up his hood and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Let’s get this fucker so that I can go back to sleep,” Benji said, sleep evident in his voice as he opened up the passenger side door and stepped out of the car. I shook my head as I got out of the car, Joel quickly following.

“You ready?” he asked quietly as we walked towards the door of the police station.

“As ready as I‘ll ever be,” I honestly replied.

“We’re gonna be right there with you,” Joel assured me and Benji nodded at me as if to confirm Joel’s words. The three of us stopped when we reached the door and they both looked at me, silently asking if I was ready. I replied with a nod and Benji reached for the door knob. I took one last deep breath before stepping inside. This was it, I told myself and nothing bad was going to happen. Like Joel had said, we were going to be inside of a police station surrounded by officers so we’d be very well protected. I looked over at Benji when I felt him grab my hand. When our eyes met, he smiled at me and I smiled back.

“We’ve been expecting you guys,” an officer that I remembered from the night of the original attack announced from behind a desk. “Just follow me.”

“So we just pick the guy and that’s it?” Benji asked.

“Sort of,” the officer said. “We’re going to split you guys up since each one of you have had an encounter with the suspect. It’s just so that we can see if you each pick out the same person or not.”

“I don’t know if I’m okay with that,” I said, gripping Benji’s hand tightly.

“You’ll be perfectly fine. At no time will you have any contact with the suspect. He’s going to be in another room, behind a one way, bulletproof window. You’ll be completely safe,” the officer assured. I was still hesitant, but I didn’t know what else to do. I mean, I couldn’t say that I wasn’t going to go through with this. This was something that I needed to do, I knew that. I was just scared and I’d assumed that Benji and Joel were going to be right there with me, but now, now I didn’t know how to feel.

“It’ll be okay,” Benji whispered into my ear. “It’ll only take a couple minutes.”

“Alright,” I said softly. Benji smiled again and nodded slightly in encouragement. The three of us followed the officer to the back of the station.

“Okay guys, just wait right here. Someone will be out to get you guys in a few minutes,” the officer explained.

“Alright,” Joel responded.

“I don’t see why we can’t just all go in together,” I said once the officer had disappeared behind a wooden door.

“Like he said, they just wanna see if we all pick the same guy or not,” Joel answered. “It’ll only take a second to pick the guy out, we’ll be out of here in no time. Relax, alright?”

“It’s almost over babe,” Benji interjected. “We’ve got this guy against a wall, there’s no place that he can go. We identify him, the police arrest him and charge him and his ass ends up to a jail cell where he ends up being someone‘s bitch.”

“Benjamin, you’re first,” the officer announced as his head popped out from behind the door that he had disappeared behind just a moment before. I immediately looked at Benji, who seemed to be completely at ease about the whole thing. Oh how I envied him at the moment. I just needed to relax, I told myself as the door shut behind Benji. Relax, just relax, I repeated to myself. I looked around the area that Joel and I were waiting in. It was pretty quiet and there was minimal foot traffic.

I saw a woman walking by, tears flowing down her cheeks. My heart went out to her since it wasn’t too long ago that I was in the same position that she was in, I mean as far as finding myself in a police station, crying. I don’t know how she ended up in that position but I knew, whatever it was, it wasn’t good. But then again, nothing that landed you into a police station had to be good. My eyes then fell to a man who was sitting in a chair with an oversized jacket on. That struck me as odd since it was relatively warm outside. Maybe he was from out of town, I thought before turning my attention back to where Joel was standing. He was looking at some posters and stuff that were on the wall. When the door opened, both Joel and I quickly turned our heads.

“Your turn Joel,” Benji announced casually. Joel nodded before moving towards the door. “You’re next Ang.”

“I know,” I replied nervously.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Benji continued. “It’s pretty quick.”

“What did it feel like?” I asked, turning to look deeply into his eyes.

“Honestly, it felt pretty damn good.”

“You weren’t scared at all?” I questioned.

“Why should I be? There was no way that he could hurt me, hell he couldn’t even see me,” he answered. “You shouldn’t be scared either. Not just cause he can’t see you or anything but because if you let him know just how scared you are, then he won and that’s not what you want.”

“Angela,” Joel said softly as he returned. I looked up at him. “They need you now.” I took a deep breath and walked over towards Joel, who was holding the door open for me. “Just relax and it’ll be over before you even know it,” he whispered as I walked into the tiny room that was hidden behind the wooden door.

“Miss Peterson, this will only take a moment of your time,” another officer remarked once he saw me walk into the room. I nodded, not really trusting my voice at the moment. “Just take a look through that window over there. You’re gonna see several men standing there. I just need you to pick out the man that attacked you. Take as long as you need,” I nodded again and walked over to the window. They couldn’t see me and everything is going to be alright, I told myself as I peered through the glass. I didn’t even have to hesitate, I knew exactly which man it was.

“The third one,” I said seriously.

“Are you sure?” the officer questioned.

“Yes. I’ve never been more sure about anything,” I returned, pulling my attention away from the mirror. I didn’t want to look at that man anymore.

“Thank you, that’s all we needed,” the officer commented. I immediately turned around to leave. I didn’t want to be kept away from Benji and Joel any longer than I had to. I practically threw open the door. As soon as I stepped out, I collided with someone.

“I’m so sorry,” I automatically said, realizing that I had bumped into the man in the jacket that I had seen while I was waiting for Benji to come out. I don’t know how it happened, but everything seemed to go in slow motion and the next thing I knew, the man had grabbed me tightly and held a gun to my head.

“No one move!!” He yelled and immediately, I felt a new wave of panic rush over me.

Chapter 22

“No one move!” he yelled again as he moved the gun around the room ready to shoot anyone that moved. I looked over at Benji who was standing frozen, in complete shock. I could see a look of panic and desperation clearly written across his face though. I could also tell that he wanted to do something to help and I hoped that he wouldn’t do something stupid and let the police work.

“We can talk about this. What is it that you want?” an officer said from the position that he had been standing in when this had started.

“I want you to let my brother go,” he said turning the gun back to me. I cringed slightly.

“Okay, but you’re going to have to let that young lady go first,” the officer said to him. Yeah, like that was going to happen, I thought to myself. I looked back over at Benji who was still staring at me. It felt like he was so far away even though he was just a couple of feet away from me at the most.

“Bullshit,” he answered. “My brother has to walk out of here first before I let her go.”

“Please let her go, she didn’t do anything. Please,” Benji piped in. I looked at him in complete shock. What the hell was he doing? He was seriously trying to get us all killed. “If you’re gonna take anyone take me.”

“Shut up,” the man yelled as he turned the gun towards Benji. Benji just stood there and looked at him, almost as if he was silently daring the man to shoot him. “It’s this bitches fault that my brothers here so she’s going to fucking pay for it.” Brother? This mans brother was my attacker? That’s who he was trying to break free? I felt a wave of disgust wash over me. How could someone stand up for a person like that, especially after everything that he’s done to me? I can understand that the were family but that man was nothing but trouble and apparently it had brushed off onto his brother.

“I’m just as much a part of this as she is,” Benji continued. My eyes locked with his and I silently pleaded for him to shut the fuck up. I didn’t need Benji to piss him off because who knew what would happen then. Everyone in here may as well end up dead. “I identified him too.”

“Benji..” I heard Joel whisper as he nudged his twin slightly, “shut up.”

But Benji ignored Joel and continued. “Look, you really should just let her go and take me instead. You’re more likely to get what you want that way.”

“How you figure?” the man asked, obviously buying into what Benji was saying to him or at least he was curious about what Benji was thinking. I kept my eyes locked on Benji, awaiting his next move, hoping that he would stop all of this and let the police do their job so that no one would get hurt.

“It’s pretty simple actually,” Benji started, his body visibly relaxing as he spoke. “If you took me hostage instead, you’d get more press since I’m in this famous band. More people are going to give a shit if you took me instead of just some random girl that no one knows shit about. And on top of that, you still get someone that helped put him in jail. He shot me, I identified him too. Actually, I picked him out before she did, so technically, the police didn‘t even need her, they already had my testimony.”

The man was silent and I could tell that meant that he was contemplating what Benji had just said. I looked at Benji intently, wondering what the hell was going through his mind. I knew that he was trying to help me but that doesn’t mean that he has to put himself in harms way. He had to know how guilty that I would feel if something was to happen to him during the course of all this. Maybe he was thinking the same thing about me, I thought, but still, that didn‘t mean that he had to go this far and subject himself to so much danger.

“I want to see my brother,” the man finally said, turning the gun back towards me again.

“Let me switch places with her first,” Benji said before any of the police officers could respond to the mans demand.

“Benji, stop it,” Joel whispered sternly, once again nudging his brother in an attempt to silence him.

“Both of you shut up!” the man yelled, turning the gun towards them. First pointing it at Joel who appeared to be instantly frozen with fear, then to Benji for the second time in only a matter of seconds. Benji, unlike his brother, looked un-phased. He just stared at the man, once again as if he was taunting him, telling him that he wouldn’t actually shoot him. “Or I swear to fucking god I’ll kill you and her.”

“Sir relax,” the officer said. “We’re going to get your brother, but once he‘s out here, you‘re going to have to let the young woman go. That‘s the deal, no negotiations. Your brother for the girl.” The man took his attention off of Benji and turned it to the officer. I, on the other hand, kept my attention on Benji. ‘Stop it, please,’ I mouthed to him. He looked at me sympathetically, he could obviously see the fear in my eyes. I hoped that meant that he was going to back down.

“How do I know that there aren’t any tricks?” the man asked.

“You don’t. You just have to trust us,” the officer answered honestly. “As long as you let the girl go, unharmed, nothing’s going to happen.”

“If you try anything, she dies,” he remarked evilly to the officer.

“No tricks, I promise you,” the officer said honestly.

“Good,” the man replied. He seemed to be pleased that this was going so ‘smoothly.’

“Why don’t you put the gun down,” suggested the officer, after another officer disappeared behind one of the wooden doors.

“Not a chance,” he replied. ‘I love you,’ Benji mouthed to me and I just looked at him, trying to read his expression. I was trying to figure out what was running through his head. Was he planning on trying something or just trying to soothe me? I seriously hoped it was the latter because not only was he in no condition to try to defend himself but it would be completely idiotic to push this man any further. ‘I love you too,’ I mouthed back to him and he smiled at me shyly. I flashed a tiny smile in return. A second later, a door opened and a police officer appeared with my attacker in toe. A shiver ran up my spine when I saw him.

“Alright, we’ve got your brother,” the officer announced, “now, you need to let the girl go.”

“Let my brother go first,” he replied instantly.

“Let the girl go,” the officer repeated, this time, more sternly. I could feel that the man was becoming slightly impatient.

“No. I said let my brother go first,” the man replied. The officer looked at the man for a moment, almost as if he was sizing him up. I was now trying to regulate my breathing by inhaling and counting to ten before exhaling in an attempt to remain clam. I could feel my heart rate increasing by the second as I watched the scene before me.

“How about we let them go at the same time?” the officer suggested and then their was silence as the man looked at the officer. Again, he was considering what was presented to him. It must have only been about a minute before he answered but to me, it felt like an eternity.

“Okay,” the man said, with a slight bit of reluctance in his voice.

“Alright,” the officer replied. “Ma’am, you’re going to take one step at a time, I’ll count them out, for both of you,” he continued, turning to my attacker for the last part of his sentence. “One,” the officer said after receiving a nod from my attacker. Both my attacker and I took one step forward. “Two,” we both took another step. “Three,” another step and by the time the officer reached ten, my attacker and I were side by side. I can’t even begin to explain how nerve wracked I was at that very second. I attempted to continue to regulate my breathing in hopes that it would help me remain clam but all of that was shattered when my attacker grabbed me into almost a choke hold.

“Angela!” I heard Benji call. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the other man hand my attacker a gun before grabbing Benji.

“No one move,” the man yelled once again, “we’re leaving and we’re taking these two with us. If I see anyone come after us, I’ll fucking kill the both of them.” I shuddered at his declaration. I looked over at Benji who took a quick glance at Joel before the both of us were pushed towards the door.

Chapter 23

Benji and I were pulled out of the building so fast that neither of us had any time to react. No one had the time to react, not even the police, even though I don’t think that there was much that they could do anyway. They couldn’t shoot at the guys because that would put Benji and myself in the line of fire. I glanced over at Benji as we were being lead gun point away from the safety of the police station and into a situation that neither Benji or I were prepared for. I had no idea what to expect. Hell, I didn’t even know if we would be alive for much longer. We could very well be walking to our deaths. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Benji was beginning to slack a little bit and I knew that it was due to the bullet that he had taken only a week ago.

“Move it,” the man demanded, roughly shoving Benji.

“He’s hurt,” I heard myself say. It was the first thing that I had said since this entire ordeal had begun and I found that my voice was weakened by my fear. “He just got out of the hospital yesterday.”

“Aww,” the man said sarcastically before shoving Benji again, this time more roughly. “Keep it moving.” I looked over at Benji, checking to make sure that he was alright. He looked over at me and smiled weakly in an attempt to tell me that he was fine. Of course I didn’t buy it, I knew he was hurting. We walked for only a moment more before we reached a car that had been parked near by in anticipation of a successful escape. The man that had attacked me in the alleyway opened the back door.

“Get in,” he demanded. Benji didn’t hesitate and he slid into the back seat and I immediately followed him, not wanting to anger them. As soon as I was seated, Benji grabbed my hand in his and squeezed it tightly. The door slammed shut and the two guys moved to the front of the car.

“Thanks man,” my attacker said to the other man; his brother as they entered the car, both of them shutting their doors at almost the same time.

“Anything for family,” he replied then continued, “what are we going to do with these two?” My attacker from the alleyway turned to look at Benji and I. I turned my attention to the floor, I didn’t want to look this man in the eye. I was afraid of what I’d see. I expected that his eyes would be these horrible black holes that could drain me of my soul.

“I don’t know but I think we can figure something out,” he replied with an unnervingly evil smirk on his face. I could feel Benji tighten his grip on my hand. The man turned his attention back to the front window and I lifted my eyes again. I looked over at Benji. His eyes were shut and he was leaning his head against the back of the seat. I knew he wouldn’t be able to last too long like this. The pain would be too bad and we didn’t have the pain killers that the doctor had prescribed for him.

I silently took a deep breath, bracing myself for whatever it was that was going to happen to us. I didn’t want to think about it though because I know whatever it was, it was going to be bad. This man had already done a lot of damage to my life, only god knows what else he’s capable of. I squeezed Benji’s hand again and I felt him respond and repeat my action. He opened his eyes quickly to look at me but shut them once again. He was tired, I could tell. I watched as his chest rhythmically moved up and down as he took each breath. Suddenly, I saw something slightly sticking out of the pocket of his hoodie. Curiously, I reached my hand into the pocket. It was his cell phone.

I had to contain myself. That cell phone was our way out of this. All we needed was the perfect opportunity. I pulled my hand out of his pocket and turned my attention to the window. I wanted to see the street signs so that I knew where we were so that help could get to us quickly. I glanced over at Benji again when we reached a red light and the car came to a stop. His eyes were still closed but I didn’t knew whether he was sleeping or not. I cringed a little when I heard him cough but I knew that there wasn’t anything that I could do. I turned my head to look through the window once again once the car started moving.

We weren’t in the car too much longer when we finally pulled in front of a run down building that appeared to be abandoned. Panic immediately coursed through me. They were going to kill us and leave our bodies here. I looked over to Benji to see that he had opened his eyes and was looking at me nervously. I guess that he had come up with the same scenario.

“We’re home kiddies,” the guy driving announced. Home? They lived in that building? To me, that wasn’t even possible because the building hardly looked inhabitable.

“Alright, get out,” my attacker from the alley said, turning the gun to the back seat, towards Benji and I. Benji reached for the handle to the door and opened it to find that the other man was already standing there, gun in hand, waiting for us to get out. Benji got out of the car and I immediately followed. The men began leading us towards the building and I noticed that Benji kept glancing over at me. Once we were brought inside of the building, my suspicions were confirmed: the building was abandoned. My fear levels reached a new high. I was convinced that we were going to die.

“We’re gonna be staying here awhile,” one of the men said. I was slightly relieved because if ‘we’ were gonna be here awhile, that meant that they were going to kill us, at least not at the moment anyway.

“In here,” I heard the other man say, his voice sounding slightly distant. I hadn’t even noticed that he had slipped away. My attacker waved the gun in the direction of the voice, telling us that he wanted us to move. Once we reached the other guy, we found that he was standing in front of this room that was relatively tiny and lacked any windows.

“Get in,” my attacker demanded. I looked over at Benji who was looking at me. He only stood there a moment before he walked into the tiny room and I followed suit, glad that they were at least going to keep up together.

“Hey Mike, pass me that,” the man said to my attacker, as he motioned towards a large piece of wood. Mike, so that’s my attackers name. Some how, knowing his name humanized him, something that I didn’t want because a man like him didn’t deserve to be human. Especially because of the things that he did to me and probably did to other people. Once they shut the door behind us and darkness enveloped the room, I could hear them placing the piece of wood in front of the door to hold it shut. I reached my hand out in search for Benji and I felt him grab hold of it.

“I’m right here,” he said.

“I can’t see a damn thing,” I muttered, wrapping my fingers around his.

“I know, me either,” he replied. “Come on, lets sit down.” His hand slipped from mine and I heard him groan softly as he lowered himself onto the floor. I slid down next and once again reached out to find to, this time I found him right next to me.

“Are you alright?” I asked him, concerned.

“Yeah.”

“You sure?” I questioned, knowing that he was in real pain, I was just hoping that he would admit it to me.

“It just hurts. We need to get out of here soon, I’m getting really tired,” he confessed.

“I know a way out,” I replied to him, my voice falling to a whisper, I wanted to make sure that Mike and his brother couldn’t hear me.

“Really? How?” he whispered in response.

“Your cellphone,” I answered. “I saw your cellphone in your pocket when we were a couple of blocks away from the police station and I started paying attention to street signs so that I knew where we were.”

“You’re a genius,” Benji answered, with excitement in his hushed voice. “I can’t believe that I forgot that I had my phone with me. I‘m gonna call Joel.” I heard Benji pull his phone from his pocket and when he flipped it open, the small room was illuminated. He looked over at me and smiled before dialing Joel‘s number.

“Joel?” Benji said, his voice still hushed, after a few seconds. “Yeah it’s me……. No, we didn’t escape. They have us locked in some tiny room in some abandoned building……. Yeah, Angie was reading the street signs……. Hold on, let me ask her,” Benji said, turning to look at me, “what’s the street?”

“Astor and Kingsland,” I answered.

“Astor and Kingsland,” Benji repeated before becoming silent again. “No, we’re alright, they didn’t do anything to us, at least not yet anyway. Look, I’ll call you back in a couple of hours, I wanna save the battery on my phone ‘cause I don’t know how long we’re gonna be here….. Alright, love ya too man,” Benji replied has he hung up the phone and then turned it off.

“What he say?”

“He’s still at the police station,” he started, “he told the cops where we’re at and they’re gonna get a plan together. He said to call back in two hours and he’ll let me know what’s going on.”

“So two hours and they’ll be a plan?” I asked.

“That’s what he said.”

“I just hope we make it two hours.”

Chapter 24

It’s only been an hour. Benji and I had been sitting here exchanging words every now and again, not really having any sort of conversation, and it had only been a fucking hour. It felt like it had been a million hours, but alas, it had only been one. I don’t know how much longer I can last like this, shit I don’t know how much longer Benji can last like this. He’s feeling a lot of pain and he wants to sleep, but I’m afraid about letting him sleep because quite frankly, I don’t know if he’ll wake up from it. I tried to look over at him but, even though my eyes had somewhat adjusted to the darkness, I couldn’t see him.

“Benji,” I said softly, hoping that he hadn‘t fallen asleep.

“Hmmm,” he mumbled, I could tell that he was getting more tired by the second and I felt bad about him having to suffer through all of this. He wasn’t the one that they wanted, I was.

“Are you alright?” I asked for what had to be the millionth time. Quite frankly, I was surprised that he wasn’t completely annoyed with me at that point.

“Tired.”

“I know babe, just hang a little longer, okay?”

“Can’t hold on for much longer,” he muttered, his voice obviously weakening. I reached my hand out and it came in contact with Benji’s arm. I gripped him lightly in an attempt to soothe him. He moved closer to me and rested his head on my shoulder.

“I know Benj, but you gotta,” I insisted.

“Come on, just a little nap,” he whined, sounding like a child. I contemplated it, I really did. Benji really needed some rest and since he was so close to me, I would be able to tell if he stopped breathing or anything. Then again, we did have to call Joel back soon to find out what the plan was. We could be spending our last hour here and if I couldn’t wake him up when it was time to get out of here, we could be in a lot of trouble if we needed to get out of here quickly.

“Wait a little while, just until after we call Joel back and find out what’s going on so we have an idea about how much longer we’re gonna be here,” I whispered back to him, deciding that waiting would be best.

“Ang, come on,” he whined again.

“We might be getting out of here as soon as we call Joel back and you need to be awake if that’s the case. But if we’re gonna have to wait again, I promise that I’ll let you take a nap,” I said, hoping that we would be getting out of here when we called Joel back and I wouldn’t have to let him sleep because it was really the last thing that I wanted him to do.

“Alright,” he replied. I smiled, knowing that he couldn’t see it, because I was relieved that he wasn‘t going to continue to beg with me. If he kept begging me, I eventually would have given in because I love him and I don’t want to continue to put him through the pain that I’m sure he’s dealing with right now.

“I love you Benjamin,” I told him seriously, kissing the top of his head.

“I love you too Angela,” Benji replied as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I started to run my fingers through his hair. I found it rather amusing that not even two weeks ago, our roles were reversed and he was the one soothing me. I guess we really did both need each other. My head immediately jerked up when I heard something right outside of the door and I could feel Benji lift his head slightly too. “What’s happening?” Benji whispered.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. It couldn’t be Joel and the police because it was too soon, they wouldn’t have made a move already, especially since they were expecting Benji and I to call them back. Knowing this, I figured that Benji and I would need a plan just incase we were split up. “Benj, no matter what happens, I want you to hang on to your cell phone and call Joel back. Even if we get separate and you don’t know where I am, I want you to go. If you get the chance, leave,” I whispered.

“I’d never leave you behind,” he replied, sitting up. “Never.”

“Benji, please promise me that if it comes down to it and you have to decide between getting out of here to save your life or coming back and risking your life to save me, that you’ll leave.” Benji was silent. I waited only a second longer before speaking, “Promise me Benjamin.”

“I can’t and I won’t,” he simply replied. Damn him, I thought. The last thing I needed him to do was to put up a fight about this. I wanted to make sure that he got out okay, he was hurt, he needed help more that me.

“Benji please,” I pleaded.

“No,” he said sternly, his voice beginning to sound like normal and not the weak and tired voice that he had been using only moments before.

“You’re hurt Benji..”

“I don’t care,” he interrupted. “I’m not leaving you behind.”

“Don’t be sss..” I started to say but was cut off when the door flew open. I was squinting from the sudden burst of light, but as soon as my eyes adjusted, I could see Mike, my attacker from the ally, standing in the doorway.

“Come with me,” he said grabbing my arm and yanking me to my feet and I yelped in pain.

“Where are you taking here?” Benji demanded. Mike ignored Benji and pushed me through the doorway, where the other man was already waiting. I froze with fear but was snapped quickly back into reality when I heard Benji yelling and banging on the door that had been shut. “Where the fuck are you taking her!?”

“Benji!” I yelled when Mike roughly grabbed me and started to drag me away from the almost prison like room that Benji was still locked in.

“Angela?!” He yelled back and continued to pound on the locked door. Benji continued to pound on the door and call my name as I was being dragged away, my mouth now covered by Mike’s hand, preventing me from screaming back. I fought against his grip in order to call back to Benji but it was to no avail, the grip Mike had on me was too strong. I continued to struggle as I was being dragged down an empty hall which was only lit by the sun spilling in through the dirty windows. Dust was being disturbed as we continued to move and I continued to fight. I’d survived this long and I’d be damned that after all I’ve endured if I didn’t go down without a fight.

“In there,” one of the men said (I’m not sure which one it was) as I’m pushed into a room where a few dirty mattress lay and my eyes widened in fear as the thought that they were going to rape me entered my mind. I began struggling even harder, using all the might that I could muster. Mike shoved me (at least I think it was Mike) roughly and I went tumbling down onto the mattress, face first. The horrible smell of the aged mattress immediately overwhelmed my senses and I began to cough. Coughs erupted from me for several moments and when they finally seemed to calm down, I realized that the two men were gone and the door was shut and most likely locked. I was thankful that they had left me alone and not harmed me in any way and hopefully they wouldn‘t hurt Benji either.

I looked around the small room, this one had a window, to see that it was only slightly larger than the one that I was just in, but that was really the only difference. This room, like the other, was bare with the exception of the dirty mattress that I had been thrown on. After a moment, I lifted myself from the floor, a few stray coughs leaving my lips, I walked over to the window to see if I could spot anything or anyone that looked like they were here to help Benji and I. But I didn’t see much of anything other than a bunch of old looking buildings and only about three to five cars, but nothing else. Mike and his brother were smart in bringing us here because they would notice if an unfamiliar vehicle was to park in the area. That would make a police watch difficult. I sighed hoping that the police would be able to figure something out. They had to. They couldn’t just leave us here like this, we could be killed at any moment.

I sighed and moved away from the window, not wanting to think about anything bad that could happen to Benji and I. There was probably already a plan in the works and that was why Benji and I had been separated. Maybe they had heard us talking. A new wave of panic rushed over me, what if they heard us on the phone with Joel? If they heard us, that would mean that they knew that the police were coming.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I whispered to myself, panicked by the thought of Mike and his brother knowing about our plan. Benji and I would be in a lot if shit if that were the case. If they knew that we were plotting against them, they could kill us. They really didn’t have a reason to keep us alive any more any way, they had gotten out of the police station in one piece. Then again, they could be using us as leverage in their escape. Maybe there’s more to this than we knew about. I mean, there was no way that this was where they planned on staying. They couldn’t possibly remain here forever, they had to be after something else. I sighed again and lowered myself to sit in the corner of the dingy room.

I began to run my fingers through my hair but I stopped when I got an idea. The window, maybe I could climb out of it. If I could get out, I could get help, but help was coming, wasn’t it? I looked up at the window, still not pulling myself up to my feet. I was confused, I didn’t know what I should do. There might be a way for me to get out of here, but I can’t just leave Benji like that, there was no telling what could happen to him while I was gone. I stood up and walked over to the window, I didn’t want to leave, I just wanted to know if escaping were a possibility if worse came to worse. Taking a deep breath, I gripped the window and pulled. To my utter shock, it opened. Keeping my calm, I pulled the window closed slowly as to prevent making a sound. Carefully, I eased myself back down onto the floor, this was all going to be over soon. In less than an hour, Benji was going to call Joel back to find out how the police were going to get us out of here, at least I hoped we were going to get out of here.

Chapter 25

Time moves impossibly slow when your locked in a room by yourself with absolutely nothing to occupy your mind. At least when I was with Benji, I had someone to talk to and comfort me, but now, I‘m here alone without any form of entertainment and I think I‘m slowly going insane. This seriously has to be a form of torture because I’m in complete agony. Sighing, I hoped that it’s been at least an hour and Benji had called Joel and there was some sort of plan in motion. Oh how I hoped that there was a plan because I really needed to get the fuck out of this room before I went insane and at this rate, it wouldn’t be too long before that happened. Sighing again, I looked over at the window, wondering if my decision to stay had been the wrong one. I seriously contemplated the idea again, but again, leaving Benji behind didn‘t seem to that good of an idea. Mike and his brother might hurt him or kill him when they found out that I was gone so now I was pretty much convinced staying was the right thing to do, at least for now.

I pulled myself from the floor to stand up. My ass was hurting from sitting on the floor and I’d be damned before I sat on that completely and utterly disgusting mattress. I went back to the window and peered through it, I wanted to see if there was any change. If there was, I couldn’t tell, as far as I knew or could tell, everything was the same as it was before. I pulled myself away from the window and moved towards the door. I knew it was locked, but I had to check anyway, just to be sure; to be able to say that I tried everything. I put my hand on the knob and turned it, and as expected, it was locked. I was just about to turn around and go back to the corner I had been sitting in when I heard voices.

“We’ve got to get rid of them,” Mike said sternly but hushed, obviously trying to keep from being heard, “they’re just going to keep up back. It’ll be easier for us to hide if it’s only two of us.”

“So what’ll we do with them?” His brother, who’s name I still didn’t know, asked.

“We kill ‘em,” Mike answered without hesitation and I froze with fear. They were going to kill us. What the hell was I going to do? There was no way that I could fight off the both of them, shit I don’t think I could even fight off one of them. And what about Benji? There was no way that he would be able to protect himself with the condition that he’s in. They were probably just going to fucking shoot us anyway, its not like we had anyway to protect ourselves from that, we‘re not fucking bulletproof.

“And what? Just leave them here?”

“Yeah, why the fuck not? The police don’t know where we are so it’ll be awhile before they find the bodies, if they ever do, and that’ll give us enough time to get far, far away.”

“When are we gonna do it?”

“Tonight,” Mike replied, “at least then we can be the fuck outta here in the morning and get out of the country or something, we just can‘t stay here. There‘s no way that we can survive a long time here.”

“Okay,” his brother replied and I could hear in his voice that he was slightly hesitant in complying with Mike’s plan, that told me that they hadn‘t intended on going this far with Benji and I. Things were supposed to end in the police station. Damn Benji for opening his mouth, I thought to myself. Maybe we could have avoided all of this had Benji not said anything. Then again, who knows what would have happened. They probably would have taken just me and killed me by now since I was the one that they wanted. Sighing yet again, I continued to listen for anything else they might say, but silence has fallen over them. Not knowing what to make of the silence, I inched my way back into the room. My eyes fell on the window once again, this time knowing that time was limited. Once again, I found myself facing a decision that I didn’t want to make.

Should I stay or should I escape? Both possibilities had highly plausible negative repercussions that I wasn’t sure I was ready to face. Benji’s welfare was the most important thing at the moment since he’s not at a hundred percent. He needs me close so that I can take care of him and protect him, much like he had done for me. I owed that much to him, he did it for me before he even knew me. Closing my eyes, I sat down next to the door so that I could hear any future conversations between Mike and his brother so that I knew what to plan for, but I had a feeling that no matter what I came up with, it wasn‘t going to do much good since I was pretty much defenseless. From now on, I’m carrying pepper spray or something, I decided. If all this shit could happen to me in only two weeks who the hell knows what’s gonna happen to me down the road.

When I reopened my eyes, the room had nearly fallen into darkness. Shit, I thought, I’d fallen asleep. I jumped up from the floor, more angry at myself than anything else. I couldn’t believe that I had fallen asleep. Benji. Shit, if I had fallen asleep god only knows what happened to Benji. He was exhausted when I was pulled from the room. Oh god, if he had fallen asleep that meant that he probably didn’t call Joel back and since his phone was off, Joel couldn’t call him. Nervously, I started to pace the room, angry with myself for falling asleep and paranoid with the idea that Benji may have done the same thing. If that happened, who knows what we’re gonna do or what to expect. The police and Joel had to move ahead even if they didn’t hear from Benji because they wouldn’t leave us here like that. Finally, my pacing began to slow as my mind began to fill with a million different thoughts.

Immediately I went over to the window and placed my fingers on the cold glass. This could be our last chance I thought to myself. If I didn’t leave to get help now, we might not live to see the morning. I bit my lip, once again torn between the idea of escape and waiting for what at this point seemed to be the inevitable. Swiftly, I moved towards the door again and pressing my ear against it, I waited and listened. Nothing. It was completely silent. Maybe they had fallen asleep. At the thought, my heart began pounding. If they were sleeping, I would have enough time to escape and return with help before they knew what had happened. Suddenly, I began to perspire and quiver with could only be adrenaline. I could do this I told myself as I pulled away from the door and made my way towards the window. I glanced quickly at the door before I slowly and quietly began to inch the window up.

I knew if I made too much noise, they would hear something and they would come in and see what I was doing so I knew that I had to be careful for this to work. Inhaling deeply, I continued to slowly inch the window up. Each inch feeling like it weighed a thousand pounds and took hours for me to move when it really had only been a couple of seconds. Taking another deep breath I willed myself to be patient. It would only be a little longer. Just a second or two more I thought as I closed my eyes and listened as the window moved higher and higher. Finally, the window stopped moving and I opened my eyes as a cool breeze caressed my cheeks. I stuck my head out to assess how high off the ground I was. Luckily, it was only a couple of feet and if I went feet first, I’d be alright.

“I’m gonna go get some help Benj,” I whispered to myself before I took another deep breath and began to position myself at the window. I lifted my leg to put it through the window and I brought my other leg up so that I was sitting on the window sill with my legs hanging out of the window. Just as I was getting ready to turn around so that I could lower myself down, the door flung open and my eyes met Mike’s and I froze.

“Kev!” he yelled as he ran towards me and it was at the second that I was snapped out of the trance that I had fallen into and attempted to turn myself but it was too late because I felt Mike grab onto my arm and he roughly jerked me back inside. “Fucking bitch,” he seethed as I hit the floor hard and yelped in pain. Mike’s brother, who’s name I’m now assuming is Kevin, came running into the room, looking slightly disheveled.

“What happened?” he questioned, obviously not processing the scene that lay before him.

“The fucking bitch almost escaped,” he replied, his eyes never leaving me as I remained a crumpled heap on the floor.

“How?”

“The fucking window,” he yelled. “I thought you said it was fucking locked!”

“I thought it was!” Kevin yelled back. “You fucking saw me lock it remember!?”

“I told you to check it to make sure that it was fucking late that this was an old building and not everything is gonna fucking work moron!” I looked at the two of them, their eyes locked on each others. My eyes moved from brother to brother as they continued their heated exchange. I took a deep breath and began to slowly crawl away from them.

“If I’m so fucking stupid, why didn’t you do it your god damn self!” Kevin challenged.

“Because I thought that you could at least lock a fucking window!” I took a deep breath, bit my lip then made my move. In an instant I was on my feet and running towards the open door and towards freedom. I only barely made it into the dark hallway when at least one of them realized I was doing.

“Hey stop!” One of them yelled before I heard a single gun shot and I landed face first on the cold ground, my body racked with pain.

Chapter 26

A bullet travels incredibly fast. So fast that there's no time to react, especially when your mind is completely paralyzed with shock and fear and it was no sooner than an instant after I heard the gun discharge that I was face down on the cold ground, pain running though my entire body. The first and only thought that entered my mind was that I had been shot in the back. I gasped for air since both the shock of what happened and the impact of my body hitting the ground had knocked the breath right out of me. Another gasp escaped my lips as I tried to suck in more air, but failing to do so since I was so overcome with panic and fear and my lungs were probably damaged from the bullet. I had no idea what was going to happen next but I tried to suppress all the bad things that could happen and tried to concentrate on trying to figure out how I was going to get help so that I wouldn't die.

Suddenly I felt my body being lifted up and that's when I realized that it was too late, I had already died. It had happened so quickly that I didn't know what to think. I was still in shock from the entire situation. I just wanted to cry but I knew that at this point, crying was completely pointless. Tears escaped my eyes anyway, I didn't know what else I could do so I didn't fight it, I was too emotionally drained to fight it even if I wanted to. I was dead and there wasn’t a god damn thing that I could do about it.

“Are you alright?” I heard a male voice ask. An angel maybe. I blinked my eyes several times, forcing my blurry vision to focus hoping to catch a glimpse of my angel. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realized that it had been Joel, not an angel, that had picked me up and was now carrying me quickly towards the front of the building. I wasn’t dead yet, I realized, overcome with relief. I was alive.

“Joel?” I whispered, my voice weak.

“Are you alright?” He repeated and I told him the only thing that I knew was wrong with me.

“I’ve been shot,” I answered, tears now rapidly running down my cheeks as I muttered the grim words that seemed almost impossible to comprehend, as simple as they were. It was more the implications I was afraid of than the actual words. People who’ve been shot die and that meant that I could die at any moment.

“No. No you haven’t,” Joel replied, his breath coming in gasps as he was moving quickly though the labyrinth of hallways before moving to the side so that he could put me down. My knees buckled but Joel caught me before I could fall to the ground and helped me to stand again, but this time, my knees didn’t buckle. I looked at him, completely dumbfounded. “I pushed you out of the way. That’s why you were on the ground. You’re alright but I think the bullet might have grazed my arm,” he said gripping at his left arm. I reached out and touched his arm and found my fingers covered in blood when I pulled my hand back.

“You’re bleeding,” I stated, now worried about Joel.

“I’ll be alright, let’s get out of here before they find us,” he said as he began walking again, the darkness making it difficult to see which way he was going.

“Wait. What about Benji? I’m not going any further without Benji!” I declared, refusing to move any further unless we went back to get Benji. There was no way that I was going to leave Benji behind. He was really weak the last time I saw him and there was no telling what could have happened to him in the time that we were separated.

“He’s outside. I found him first since he had his cell phone on him,” Joel answered before grabbing my hand. “We’ve gotta go, now.” Just as we started moving, gun shots rang through the halls. “Shit,” Joel cursed as we now began running in order to escape the gun shots. My heart began racing as the fear of getting shot was renewed. I stayed close behind Joel, hoping to god that we were almost out of here, but the sound of gun shots served as a reminder that we weren’t and of how desperately we needed to get the hell out. I gripped his hand tightly as we moved through the darkness. “In here,” Joel whispered as he pulled me into a dark room. I blinked several times, my eyes having to adjust to the more severe darkness of this room. My eyes fell onto Joel when he let go of my hand. I watched as he fumbled to retrieve something and my eyes widened when, even in the darkness, I saw what it was.

“Where the fuck did you get a gun?” I whispered harshly, shocked that Joel was standing before me, a gun in his hand. He didn’t answer me, he simply put his index finger to his lips, gesturing that I should be quiet. I bit my lip, not really knowing what to expect but waiting for it to happen never-the-less. Joel and I waited in the dark room for only a matter of seconds when we heard Kevin and Mike run by the open door, seemingly paying no attention to it. I held my breath as the endless seconds passed and we waited to see when and if Kevin and Mike would come running back this way. Seconds felt like hours as we waited in complete silence in the total darkness. My heart was pounding and it was pounding so fast and hard that I was almost positive that the sound was echoing through the room, though in reality, that was impossible. I held my breathe and looked over at Joel when Mike and Kevin ran down the hallway and passed where we were hiding.

Joel turned to look at me as we heard the sound of the foot steps disappear in the distance. They hadn’t seen us. Slowly, I let go of the breath that I had been holding and waited for what Joel was going to do next. Our eyes locked as we waited. Joel shut his eyes for a moment, probably contemplating his next move. Another impossibly long moment went by as we stood there in complete silence before we heard footsteps coming back towards us. The sound of feet slowly hitting the ground sending a cold shiver down my spine. I held onto Joel’s hand for dear life. I was so scared. It was almost like I was back in that alley, the sounds of footsteps directly linked to my fear because with each step, my fear rose. Joel didn’t seem to care that I was squeezing his hand so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. I was desperate to know that I wasn’t alone and Joel wasn’t going to leave me. Probably sensing my thoughts, he squeezed my hand in his own for a moment before loosening his grip once again. Even though the act was so simple, it really helped me relax. My mind was once again churning out coherent thoughts. I have to remember to thank Joel (and Benji for not giving up and for keeping his promise) after this.

“Shit, I lost them,” Mike gasped out, stopping right in front of the room where Joel and I had taken cover. Oh god, don’t let them see us I silently prayed to myself.

“We need to get out of here now, before they bring the police back here,” Kevin answered, the brothers obviously forgetting that they were angry with one another, at least for the time being. The sound of their voices showed there apparent fear and I hoped that Joel and I would be able to use this to our advantage. I looked towards Joel again and I could see that he was trying to work out a plan.

“Alright,” Mike replied. “Get all of your shit together and get rid of anything that could be used as evidence. We can’t risk the cops finding anything.” We stood there, waiting for what would happen next. After waiting for a few minutes, Joel started to pull me towards the hall as he put his gun back into the belt of his pants. I was slightly reluctant but I went along with him, knowing that I would be alright with Joel there. We slowly made our way down the hall, trying to be as quiet as possible. My palms were becoming sweaty from the tension. We were so close to freedom that I could almost taste it. Joel turned his attention back to me and I forced a small smile to let him know that I was alright.

“Hey stop!” I heard someone yell and me and Joel froze immediately.

Chapter 27

Everything stopped when I heard his voice. It was like the sound of his voice was the key to the essence of time and when he spoke, everything froze. At least, that’s what if seemed like to me, since Joel and I were standing stone still right where we had stopped. It was like we were a couple of deer caught in the headlights of a speeding eighteen wheeler. We knew we had to do something but we were way too damn scared to do a fucking thing. Seriously, what could we do at this point? We’d exhausted our options and we were finally out of luck. Joel could have pulled out his gun and shot blindly into the darkness in a feeble attempt to wound the man threatening our lives, but that was assuming that Joel actually knew how to work the damn thing. This was it, I thought to myself as I gripped Joel’s hand tightly. A part of me was wishing that I had died in the alleyway that night, at least that way, Joel wouldn’t be standing next to me, facing almost certain death. And Benji, poor Benji. He had been through so much because of me, to protect me, to only have me die in the end anyway. Tears began to poke at my eyes as I was overcome with an unpleasant mixture of guilt and fear.

“Don’t move,” the voice demanded, shaking slightly and I could tell that he was nervous too. It had to be Kevin. Mike seemed so sure of what he wanted to do with us, where as Kevin was just going along with things. The man standing behind Joel and I was most definitely Kevin. “Alright, turn around slowly,” he demanded. I broke my grip on Joel’s hand as we both turned around to come face to face with Kevin and the barrel of a gun. “Hey Mike, get in here!”

“What?!” Mike yelled some what frustrated a moment later.

“Just get the fuck in here,” Kevin called back, not once taking his eyes off of us. I could hear Mike’s footsteps taking him closer to us.

“Why the fuck…,” he started, but his voice trailing off when he looked at me and Joel. “Well, well, well, what do we have here?” He said, an evil smirk playing on his lips. I felt my stomach turn from fear and disgust as he kept his eyes locked on us. “You thought you could get away huh?” he said, keeping his attention fully on me. Our eyes locked for a moment and I quickly diverted my attention. I could feel Joel tensing up beside me with anger. I just hoped that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. I shuddered when I felt Mike gently brushed his fingers against my cheek. “You should have known that it wouldn’t be so easy.”

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Joel threatened through clenched teeth.

“And what are you gonna do about it?” Mike said, turning his attention from me to Joel. Joel stared at him, completely stone faced and unmoving. He was taking his position and he wasn’t backing down. God damn him and Benji. They were both so fucking hard headed. Why couldn’t they just keep their fucking mouths shut?

“I’m gonna kick your fuckin’ ass,” Joel said, his voice filled with rage. He and Benji were most definitely twins and most definitely completely out of their fucking minds. Mike just laughed at the comment.

“Oh yeah?” Mike asked, his tone sounding slightly amused by Joel‘s statement. “How do you plan on doing that with a hole in your fucking head?” Mike snapped, immediately bring his gun up to Joel’s face.

“No,” I shouted immediately, without thinking, it was just a reflex reaction. I just didn’t want him to suffer any more than he already had. He and Benji had already been through enough because of me, I didn’t want his death to be another reason for them to hate me. Mike just smirked and turned his attention back to me. “Leave him alone,” I whispered, my voice becoming shaky and uncertain. I looked to the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with him. “Just let him leave, please. I don’t care what happens to me, just let him go,” I whispered, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks silently. I didn’t want to die alone, but I didn’t want Joel to die period. It would hurt Benji too much to lose him so I was willing to sacrifice myself so that Benji would have at least one of us.

“Really now?” Mike questioned and I nodded my head slowly, hoping that he would take me up on my offer. “Bring them in the back,” Mike said to his brother. My heart started pounding with a mixture of anger and fear. No, he had to let Joel go. That was the only thing that I wanted. He had to do that for me, he just had to.

“No, let Joel leave. You can’t keep him here,” I blurted out. “He’s been shot. He needs to see a doctor. You can keep me. I don’t give a shit what you do to me, just please… let Joel go.”

“Hmm, let me think about it?” Mike said sarcastically. “No.”

“Please,” I whispered, my tears still pouring from my eyes. Mike just rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed with my display, but I really didn‘t care at this point. I knew I was about to die and I wasn’t going to let Joel die without a fight. Mike just pointed his gun at me and I froze.

“Look, either do what I say, or you both fucking die, it’s as simple as that,” Mike replied. I nodded, finally coming to grips with the fact that we really had run out of luck and we were in fact, at the end of the line. Silently, Joel and I were led towards the back of the building and into the room where Benji and I had been locked in when we were first brought here. My heart raced even faster as we moved closer to the room, thinking that they were going to kill us back there. Sure, they wouldn’t get too far afterwards with Benji and the police not too far away, but they would still kill us. I could feel that I was on the brink of hyperventilating as we moved further and further into the darkness. Joel’s hand immediately went onto my back and I could tell that he was concerned, more concerned about me then what was about to happen to us, it seemed. Well Joel, you better wake up and realize what was about to happen to us. We are gonna die.

“Alright, get in there,” Mike demanded, nudging me back into the dark room where Benji and I had been confined in only hours before.

“Look, let’s just leave them here,” Kevin whispered to his brother. “We don’t need a fucking murder conviction.”

“Are you going soft on me Kev?” Mike replied, turning his head away from Joel and I and in the split second, Joel reacted, pulling out his gun and firing it. Mike screamed and his gun fell from his hand and hit the floor. I froze in fear as I watched Joel lunge at him, knocking him down to the ground, a grunt was forcefully ripped from one of the men’s throats, I couldn‘t tell which. I stared it awe, not completely sure what I should be doing right at this moment. There didn’t really seem like anything that I could do.

“Stop or I’ll shoot!” Kevin yelled, his voice shaking. I could tell that he wouldn’t actually shoot, at least I didn‘t think he would. This was my chance, maybe I could distract him long enough for Joel to break free so we could escape. “I said stop!” Kevin yelled again, still not sounding entirely convincing but in that moment, I realized that he had taken his attention off of me and I was only inches away from the gun that Mike had dropped. This could be our last chance, I thought to myself as I silently took a deep breath and decided that I would make an attempt to get that gun. “I’m gonna give you to the count of 5!” Kevin yelled and at that second I dove for the gun that was laying abandoned on the ground. “What the…,” Kevin said, over taken by shock.

“Drop the fucking gun!” I yelled as I aimed the gun at him. “I know you’re not gonna fuckin’ shoot me so you’d better drop that fuckin’ gun because at this point, I really don’t have anything left to loose if I kill you.” Kevin stared at me, his eyes wide and I could tell that he wasn’t sure what he should do. “Now!” I yelled, hoping that my anger would help him make his decision. He nodded and slowly began to lower his gun. I could still hear the sounds of Joel and Mike fighting on the ground, but I didn’t want to take my attention off of Kevin out of fear that he would react. Now I was torn. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t break eye contact with Kevin because he would react and I couldn’t let Joel and Mike keep fighting on the floor. Kevin smirked at me, obviously picking up on my dilemma.

“Well, what are you gonna do now, huh?” he asked. “Because it seems to me like you’ve got a choice you need to make. Either let them keep fighting and keep me at bay or you break them up and risk getting yourself killed.”

“Or I could just shoot you,” I retorted.

“Yeah, you would do that, but I don’t think you’ll shoot either.”

“What makes you think that?” I asked, trying not to show the fact that I was beginning to become more and more nervous.

“The fact that I don’t think you know how to work a gun,” he replied as he took a step towards me. I fiddled with the gun that was in my hand, trying my hardest to get the damn thing to fire but it was to no avail. Kevin just reached out and took the gun from my hand. “That, and you didn’t take the safety off.” I heard Joel groan loudly and Mike stood up, leaving Joel curled up on the floor.

“You get that out of your fucking system yet!?” Mike yelled, kicking Joel in the side, the groaned again and I screamed, hoping that he would leave Joel alone.

“Leave him alone!” I asked, my voice sounding desperate. He just laughed, and I had a feeling that he was really getting sick and tired of me begging him. Hell, I was getting sick and fucking tired of doing it myself. He sneered at me and walked closer to me. My heart started to race as he moved closer and touched his hand to my cheek. “Maybe I’ll have a little fun with you before I fucking kill you.” I closed my eyes, just waiting for it to me over when suddenly I heard a loud popping sound.