Chapter 1

"No! Please!" Jenn's screams were echoing throughout the room.

"Shh, my love. It's time for you to sleep." Rick spoke with such fake love and care
that it made Brian want to puke.

"Yes, don't worry about your baby. We'll take care of it after it's delivered." Kara
spoke with a bit more tinge of sarcasm. "You'll see it later."

Brian knew that wasn't the truth. They were going to take the baby and kill Jenn.
Jenn, who had saved him when he didn't think he could take it anymore. Jenn, who
was his best friend's wife, his only love. He couldn’t just sit there as he was told and
watch her let go.

"Don't you dare..." His voice came out through clenched teeth, meaner sounding than
he thought it would be.

"Dare what, pretty boy? Kill her like you killed your wife?" Rick's eyes creased with a
smile as he spoke the last words that broke his heart over and over again. It seemed
to be his weak spot.

"You kill her, I swear to God, I'll kill you." He spoke again, emotion burning his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe that, sunshine." Rick grinned at him as if they were old
friends.

"Sweetie, please don't act that way. Rick's our friend, remember?" Kara crouched
down beside Brian and traced his jaw line with her red fingernail. Although her hands
were like Sara's, her scent wasn't so much anymore. It was more like the scent of
blood. The scent of guilt.

He jerked his face away from her, scowling as she laughed at him. Damn him for not
being able to be coordinated enough to stand up straight. He felt like his body was
gone. What the hell had they given him? He couldn't tell quite what it was or when it
was.

Suddenly, the sound of a baby crying caught his attention and his head snapped in
Jenn's direction. The baby. Their baby. Nick and Jenn. He had to get it back to him.
Along with Jenn.

"JENN! I'm coming!" Brian's body suddenly took on a mind of it's own and he shot up
off of the floor, running towards her.

"What're you doing, Littrell?! Think you're all big and bad now?" Brian was almost
glad when Rick punched him to the floor. The smell of the bad man was making him
want to puke.

"Brian..." He heard Jenn's weak voice and decided to get up one more time.

"I swear, if you try to save her, she's going sooner than you think. With the baby. And
you." He heard Rick say with force.

Why didn't he listen? Why didn't he believe him?

He wasn't sure what was moving him but he got up again that ran towards his only
friend, her new baby lying on her chest.

"Oh, Brian, I'm so happy. Nick...Nick's gonna be so happy...we have a boy..." She was
losing it. He could tell by the lost look in her eyes.

"Yeah, Jenn. Just...just hang on..." He started to cry as he saw Rick's shadow
approaching the table where Jenn laid. Brian found himself bending to hug her.

"You've really done it now, pretty boy. Say goodbye."

::BANG::

"NO!! No please! PLEASE!" Brian shouted, pain in his chest making him fell as though
he was suffocating.

Sara rolled over towards her husband and placed her hand in his before sitting up
and brushing his short hair off of his perspiring forehead. Anyone else would've
freaked out at the situation, but, sadly, Sara had become accustomed to it.

"Brian, sweetheart, its okay. Shhhh." She laid her head beside his, whispering softly
into his ear and feeling his hand squeeze hers tighter. The brunette watched as his
face relaxed a bit and his eyes snapped open to release a few more tears behind his
eyelids. He stared at the ceiling as Sara wiped away the tears from his stained
cheeks. "See? It's alright now."

"No..." He murmured, still a little shaken. In one quick movement, Brian rolled onto
his side and buried his face into Sara's chest, crying all over again. She could only
stroke the back of his head and his back as he let it all out.

It had been almost two years since Brian and Jenn were rescued from that hellhole
where they had struggled to survive for six months. In those two years, everyone and
everything around them had changed.

For Brian and Sara, they had been spending the past year raising their daughter and
just enjoying each other; during the day time at least. The night was a different story.

The nights for the Littrells that used to bring love and passion now turned into
something more fearful. Brian was cursed with nightmares almost every night and
only slept soundly when he complied to take his medication. He didn't want to be
medicated just to live his life, but sometimes, it had to be done. He didn't think that
his family should spend sleepless nights just because he was.

His love life had suffered some losses as well. Brian and Sara hadn't really had sex
since he had come home. Every time they tried, he would end up breaking down in
the middle of it. He had even spent a week away from his wife, hoping it would
encourage his appetite to taste her love once again. It didn't happen though and he
feared that one day, Sara was going to up and leave him for this reason. He was
thankful she hadn't already done so. He guessed, on a certain level, she understood.

Brian certainly didn't understand any of what he was going through. Why couldn't he
just forget those horrible things that happened? Why couldn't he remember what had
caused him to turn away from the love that he and his wife shared?

"I...I have to see Jenn." The man cried into his wife's shoulder.

"Baby, her and Nick are probably already sleeping." Sara closed her eyes, hoping that
he wouldn't do this tonight.

"I need to see her. To prove that she's not dead...that Zach's not..." He burst into
tears again, soaking Sara's skin with warm drops.

"Brian...She's okay. You saw her just a few hours ago." She looked at the clock that
was blinking 1 AM. "Talk to me, sweetheart. What happened?"

"I...I couldn't save her, Sara. They killed her and Zach. Nick's going to hate me..." He
was talking so quickly she wouldn't have understood him if she hadn't heard that
before.

"Bri! Calm down, love!" His wife had to almost scream at him to get him to stop it.

And there, was the familiar cry of their daughter, Emily. Sara turned her head to find
the little girl standing up against the side of her crib, no doubt the noise had
awakened her.

"I'll get it." Brian whispered, that cry bringing him back to reality. He felt bad that Sara
always had to be the one to comfort their daughter when he was the one responsible
for waking her.

A feeling of sadness rose in his throat as he realized that he couldn't calm Emily. She
sensed his tension and it hurt him that much more. Giving up, he passed his
daughter on to his wife and pulled on a t-shirt. He was then off to make sure Jenn
was okay.

Knocking on the door across the hall, more tears produced out of Brian's eyes.

"Hey Bri." Nick, too, was used to his wife checking on Brian or Brian checking on
Jenn. It was a routine night for the Littrells and the Carters. The taller blonde opened
the door a bit more to let his friend in and then watched as Jenn, who was sitting on
the couch, opened her arms in understanding.

As Nick was about to shut the door and go get a drink out of the kitchenette, Sara
walked up with Emily in her arms. She, too, had tears lining her cheeks. Nick shot her
a questioning look but she only shook her head, forcing a smile.

"Hey, why don't we go back to your room so they can, uh, talk things out, I guess?"
Nick suggested. Sara had been strange the past few days and he wanted to know why.

Leaving the door cracked a bit, he followed Sara to their room.

Once Nick and Sara walked back out the door Brian broke down again. “I’m so sorry
Jenn. I…I…I couldn’t save you…and Zach. I’m so sorry.” Although it was dream, it
was still fresh in his mind and he couldn’t shake it.

Jenn just pulled him closer, trying to soothe his cries. Some nights the roles were
reversed, and Jenn would be the one that needed to be calmed down. “It didn’t
happen that way Brian. We’re here, we’re safe. You got us help that night, and we are
alright.” She said calmly in his ear.

Since Brian really couldn’t remember what had happened during their time held
captive, he would dream of things that hadn’t even happened. On the other side,
every night that Jenn would actually be able to sleep, she had nightmares of the stuff
that had actually happened to her.

Brian let in a sniffle and he looked up into her eyes as a few tears still escaped his
eyes. “It just always feels so real.” His voice sounded lost.

“It’s not real, it’s gonna be alright.” Jenn began to slowly rub his back, he closed his
eyes and leaned into her embrace. Soon both of their breathing was deep and even,
indicating that they had both fallen asleep.

***

Nick and Sara walked back across the hallway into Sara’s room. Emily had fallen fast
asleep against her mothers shoulder. Nick waited over by the couch as Sara placed
Emily into her crib.

Once Sara returned to his side he decided to just go ahead and ask his question, “Is
something bothering you? The past few days you’ve just seemed, I don’t know, like
something is wrong.”

Sara took in a deep sigh as she ran her hand along the side of her face. “It’s nothing
you should worry about.”

Nick reached out and placed his hands on the side of her arms. “If its bothering you,
than it is something I should worry about. I’m not gonna leave you alone about this
until you tell me.”

Sara looked up into his eyes and she could tell that he wasn’t about to drop it, so she
gave in. “It’s just that,” she let out another sigh. “I don’t understand why Brian
always has to run to Jenn. Nothing against her or anything. It’s just that I am his wife,
I should be the one that he comes to for comfort.” A tear made its way down her
cheek.

Nick quickly wiped the tear away and took in a sigh of his own. “To be honest, I feel
the same way too. But at the same time, we both need to understand that they went
through this together. They need each other right now, whether we like it or not.”

“I know, I understand. I just wish…”

“I just wish that we could turn back time, and take back the past three years. But that’
s neither here nor there, we just gotta push through this. Once those fuckers are
back in jail it will all be over.” Nick quickly pulled her into a hug and she hugged him
back.

The nightmares for both of them had been there since they had returned. Maybe
once a week, sometimes just 3 times a month, then Rick and Kara escaped from jail
without a trace. Since then, nightmares plagued both Jenn and Brian practically every
night. The boys were soon back on tour, and Brian had to be put on sleeping pills so
he wouldn’t collapse on stage. They helped, but only when Brian actually took them.
Jenn had all but given up on sleep, only able to finally get to sleep with she would
pass out from exhaustion. This was causing intense strain on both Nick and Sara.

Nick pulled Sara away and rubbed her arms for a second. “How about we go and get
that husband of yours back in here.” Sara replied with a simple nod.

Nick and Sara made their way back over to the room, and when they opened the door
they were greeted by an all too familiar site. Jenn and Brian curled up together on the
couch together, fast asleep. Sara gave Nick a knowing nod and he walked over to the
two and draped a blanket across the two. Since it was rare for them to actually sleep,
when they were found like this they couldn’t help but leave them there.

“If he wakes up I’ll send him your way.” Nick said quietly as he walked with Sara over
to the door. With one last look at her husband, she sadly made her way back to their
room, alone.

Chapter 2

"Got me drowwwwnning in your love." AJ's not rang throughout the arena.

"Sounded great!" A sound manager shouted from the back as Fatima entered with 6 bottles of
water.

"Alright guys, take five and then I wanna practice the "Yes I Will" routine." She passed water
to each of them. "Rok, you okay?"

"Yeah, actually really good today!" He responded. Brian tried to be as nice as he could be
about answering the daily 'are you okay' question. He was used to it from Kevin when
rehearsals got intense, his cousin was always worrying about everyone's health. It got old,
though, when Nick, Howie, and even AJ started treating him like he was made of glass. It made
the whole thing so much harder to forget.

There were times though, when he did need a break, and that just really pissed him off.
Because of that shot he had taken in his back, sometimes his legs would go slightly numb.
Doctors were amazed that he was still able to dance and play basketball and half of the other
stuff that he did. They had warned him that he may not want to as much, but that wouldn't stop
him. Brian Littrell had decided early on that he was going to be as normal as he could be. Well,
as normal as he was allowed to be.

"You sure, Bri? You look kind of stiff." Kevin's forehead creased with worry.

Brian sat on the edge of the stage, rolling his eyes and taking a drink. "I'm fine! At least I'm not
as stiff as Kaos was last night!"

This caused laughter from everyone, until Nick understood it was about him. "HEY!"

"Yeah dude! You're gonna poke Jenn's eye out with that one day!" AJ laughed as Nick's
cheeks turned a pink color.

He couldn't help but smile though. It was a good day when Brian was cracking jokes like he
used to. Days when he had his Frick back.

"HEY YA'LL! What's so funny?"

Brian's head snapped to look towards the back of the venue. That voice always caused an
inevitable smile. Standing and hopping off of the stage, the shorter man watched as his 18
month old daughter toddled towards him, followed by his wife.

"HEY, LOOK GUYS! "Jenn's still got two eyes!" AJ followed up his pervious comment that
gained him more laughter from the guys.

"SHUT...UP!" Nick snarled, following Brian down the aisle to meet his own wife and children.

As soon as Sara reached Brian, he wrapped her into his open arms and kissed her dead on the
lips. For a few minutes. This received cat calls from Kevin, Howie, and AJ, who sat, watching
the couples.

"Woo Lord! What was that for?" Sara's southern accent peeked through. She hadn't felt so
happy and young in a couple of months. Kisses like that, so filled with passion and love, were
a rare thing now.

"It's just a good day, baby." Brian smiled at her, kissing Emily's cheek next. He pretended to
cry when she wiped it off with a grin of her own.

"No Cry Daddy!" She was quick to say and then returned the kiss on his cheek. Yes, she was
the perfect combination of the couple and they thanked God everyday for her.

"Hello Beautiful..." Nick spoke to his wife a few yards away from the Littrells. "How are ya
today?" He asked kissing her sweetly.

"Mmm, quite lovely now." Jenn smiled in a daze at her lover, happy that she and Sara had
decided to drop in.

Nick then knelt to talk to his children, who had been patiently waiting at his feet. Nicole was
first to swing her arms around his neck, such a daddy's girl. Zach quickly followed suit, always
copying everything his sister did. "Ohhhh...daddy lovin'." The blonde grunted as he fell
backwards.

The two laughed profusely as their daddy began to tickle them and then grab them both and
kiss them to pieces. Jenn watched with tears in her eyes. She was always emotional when it
came to her family. It was so amazing how you could love something so much.

"C'mon mommy!" Nick yelled from his place on the floor.

"Niccckk...we're in public."

"We are not!" With that, he raised his foot and gently kicked her behind her knee so that she
fell on top of him and between her two kids.

"There goes her eye, guys!" AJ called from the stage.

Nick looked up and shot him a look before Jenn grabbed his chin and turned his face to hers,
kissing him deeper than she had in the past few months. So deep that all Nick could do was
grin goofily afterwards.

"Sara and I wanted to see if y'all wanted to go eat lunch after this." She spoke softly, getting up
as she spoke.

"Sounds good."

***

"I'm hungry Daddy! Hurry uuuppp!" The whine came from Nicole, who reminded everyone so
much of Nick. He understood why now.

He was just about to respond when Fatima came back. "Alright, quicker we go through this,
quicker y'all get out of here!"

Brian and Nick quickly joined the rest of the group on the stage and took their places with their
canes.

"I open my eyes, I see your face, I can not hide, I can't erase..." Brian sang as he poked Nick in
the butt with his cane.

And for once, the choreographer didn't stop him. There moment didn't come often enough
anymore.

"Oh yeah, that happened the first time Nick changed Zach's diaper." Jenn told as the group
laughed. "I thought he was going to pass out.

Lunch had been going quite well with all five guys, two wives, and three children acting like
their lives were completely ordinary. AJ had been discussing the hopes that he and Lori would
have a baby within the next year and the parents of the group reliving memories of their
newborns. Although Jenn had been a little sad that she couldn't contribute to any stories of
Nicole's baby days, having that little girl resting against her shoulder, as the others spoke,
gave her the comfort she needed.

"Bone, why would you wanna do that to Lori? You know your baby's gonna have like...blue hair
and tattoos!" Nick said between bites of his salad.

"HEY! I'm surprised Zach didn't come out with..." AJ spoke loudly, in his usual manner before
Kevin slapped his hand over his younger friends mouth.

"DO NOT say it, J. I'm eating." Kevin spoke seriously, staring down into his own salad.

Again, the group shared laughter. Strangely, it felt almost odd to laugh. The sound was not
common these days but it was welcome when it did fall upon them.

Emily crawled up into Brian's lap from where she sat between her parents. "Bacon..." She
whispered in his face, making sure that he saw her. Sara smiled as her husband sat their
daughter down in his lap and picked out all of the bacon bits out of his salad and fed them to
her. She knew they were his favorite. Suddenly, every doubt of their marriage vanished from
her mind.

"Is there a Mr. Littrell at the table?"

The group quieted as Brian took a letter from the waiter. It was strange that they would
receive something in a public place like this, but he didn't think twice about it.

Looking back, he wished he had never opened it.

Nick watched as his best friend's eyes widened and his face paled to a deathly white. Those
wide eyes soon rolled back and Emily fell over into Sara's lap as Brian slumped over, the letter
falling into the salad.

"Oh my God..."

***

Kevin couldn’t believe this, the day had been going so well. It was now late into the night, he
knew he wouldn’t be able to get any sleep tonight. In his hand he held the piece of paper that
had ruined everything. He had the note memorized by now:

Hello My Pretty, Pretty, Boy :

I’ll bet you’re thinking ‘Hm, this is strange, getting a letter in a public place.’ That’s how we play
this game, you should know that by now. It’s all crazy and strange and potentially fatal. That’s
okay though, right? Your life is as good as dead anyway. You don’t have much of a love life
anymore, neither does Jenn. Although, you guys look pretty comfortable together lately. There’
s no room for comfort in this world and that is why, the two of you need to be taken out of it.
Don’t worry, we can take care of Sara and Nick too. Watch your back, cowboy, we’re watching it
too. I swear to God, though, if you tell the police about this, I’ll have your ass even quicker. Oh,
what to do now? Hmm, fire is burning away the time you have left. Tick. Tick. Tick. Smelling the
smoke yet, church boy?


Damn them, Damn them for doing this to them again. Everything was finally starting to get a
little better, DAMN THEM!! Kevin finished this thought by pounding his fist into the wall of the
bus. Jenn and Brian had been too afraid to go back into the hotel, so everyone got back onto
their busses for the night, equally as frightened.

Once they had seen Brian fall to the ground, everyone was at his side immediately. Sara was
holding him in her lap, she was terrified. Nick had quickly picked up the note that had fallen
from Brian’s grasp. As he read it his hand went immediately up to his mouth, not believing
what he was reading.

The kids had begun crying when everyone ran to Brian’s side. AJ had quickly pulled them out
of the room as everyone took care of Brian. Jenn had looked down beside Brian and found a
picture. Once she looked at it she had collapsed into her husbands arms, sobbing
uncontrollably.

Kevin reached over to the table in front of him and picked up the picture that had caused Jenn
to get so emotional over. The picture normal would be considered a good one, it was of Jenn
and Brian sleeping together on the couch in a hotel room. However, it had been inside of the
note, meaning that Rick or Sara had been the ones to take this picture. They had been able to
get that close without anyone noticing, and that was what worried Kevin.

He so wanted to get in contact with the police, but the letter had stated that if they did the
outcome would be much worse. They were all torn on this, but decided to take heed to their
warning. It was decided that once they reached their next stop the kids would be flown to
Kentucky, Brian’s parents said they would gladly take care of all the kids during this time.

Kevin looked back towards the bunks. He had forced himself to stay on the bus with Brian,
Sara, Nick, Jenn, and the kids. He was too afraid to let them out of his site for now. All was
quiet, and that was defiantly a first. They were forced to give Jenn and Brian some sleeping
aids for the night, they were both so shaken by all of this.

Kevin sat there for a few more hours, just staring at the picture and the letter. A voice
interrupted his thoughts, “Kev man, you should really try to get some sleep.” Nick said
standing in the hallway.

“Yeah right, like I could sleep right now.” Kevin said not even looking up at him.

“You should try though, we don’t need you to be out of commission too. I just don’t see how
Brian is going to be able to perform tomorrow night. I’m gonna have a hard time myself, we
cant have you not up to par either.” Nick said as he sat down across from Kevin.

Kevin let out a loud sigh as he rubbed his eyes. “You should get to bed. I’ll go lay down in a
minute.”

Nick gave him a questioning look before standing back up. “You better be back there soon,
we will have plenty of time tomorrow to talk about this. We need to all sit down together
anyways.”

Kevin looked up at Nick with a smile, “Yes Nicky.”

Nick rolled his eyes and continued to his bed, “Don’t call me Nicky.”

***

The next morning was a tearful one as the children were sent off to the airport. They had two
of the security guards traveling with them, but they were all still worried. Once the van pulled
away they all decided to talk about what had happened yesterday.

“I still think that we should call the police.” Howie stated from his seat at the table.

“I think we all do D, but we don’t wanna do anything to upset these maniacs. We already know
what they are capable of.” Kevin said, everyone looked to Brian and Jenn as he finished his
sentence.

“With the security guards knowing about it, it will help us a lot too. We at least have some
extra protection.” Nick stated.

Brian and Jenn both were sitting silently in their chairs, not even looking at the others. They
were both absolutely petrified of getting captured again. Both of their dreams had been
plagued with it all happening again. Nick put a comforting arm around Jenn’s shoulders, and
Sara placed her hand on Brian’s thigh. Both trying to give their loved ones some type of
comfort.

The meeting continued for another hour, then they guys had to be to sound checks. Jenn and
Sara both followed them to the arena, too afraid to let their husbands out of sight. That night
they all put on a great performance, knowing that they couldn’t let their fans down.

Once the show was over they all sat in the dressing room, waiting for everything to settle down
so they could leave. Jenn was half asleep leaning against Nicks chest, Sara was comfortably
sitting on Brian’s lap, AJ was on the phone with Lori filling her in on what had been going on,
and Kevin and Howie were talking amongst each other.

Sara suddenly got a questioning look on her face as she sniffed the air. Nick noticed this and
before she had the chance to say anything he spoke up, “I swear I didn’t do it!”

Sara shook her head and took another whiff of air, “Does anyone else smell that?” Sara asked
looking around.

Before anyone had the chance to answer her question one of the security guards rushed
through the door. “We need to get you guys out NOW! The buildings on fire!”

Chapter 3

Fire is burning your time away. Smell the smoke, church boy?

The words ran through Brian's head continuously as he swallowed and jumped up, almost
knocking Sara to the floor.

Kevin was already at the door, holding it open for everyone. Nick, Jenn, and AJ had already
rushed out and Howie was following them.

"OUT KEVIN!" The security guard yelled. "C'mon! Move your asses! Sara, Brian, lets go!"

Brian looked up to find Sara's worried eyes staring back at him. His legs had froze but, he wasn't
sure if it was from fear or from his health problems. His eyes watched as his cousin was ripped
from the room and the guard coming towards him.

"Go Sar..."

"Not without you." Her voice was filled with desperation and he knew she meant it.

"Damn it..." He muttered under his breath. Finally, his mind overpowered his body and he found
himself able to move his legs. Grabbing his wife's hand he bent and fanned the smoke away that
was beginning to loom into the room.

Silently, he thanked God that he had been to this arena before so that he knew where the exits
were. Otherwise, they would've been as good as dead.

"Brian! Don't go that way! Stuff is fallin over there!" Howie shouted as Brain turned to his left.

"Howie?!" He coughed and fanned more smoke away. "Where are you?!"

Suddenly, Brian felt a head pulling his own. He could see the curls in Howie's usually perfect hair,
dampening with sweat and becoming wavier than he had seen it in a while. He just hoped his
Latino friend knew where he was going.

"Howie! Didn't Kev and the others go the other way?" Brian shouted, afraid of the silence around
him. He knew it wasn't a smart move to be talking with all this smoke.

"Yeah. We just have to hope they're okay." Howie's voice was becoming raspier and Brain
decided he should just keep silent.

As much as he feared it.

It was a few seconds before the man heard his wife break into a coughing fit behind him.
Suddenly, she stopped walking and let go of his hand.

"SARA! Are you crazy?! You can't let go like tha- Oh my God..." Brian quickly knelt where his wife
was laid out on the floor. "Sara...wake up..."

"Holy shit..." Howie whispered, running back to find out why Brian had let go.

A loud boom rang out through the hallway and both of the Backstreet Boys looked up to see the fire
headed their way.

"HOWIE! We can't leave her here!" Brian's voice had become high pitched as he held his wife
close, unable to lift her. His legs were slowly failing him and tears were burning his eyes as well
as the smoke. "DO SOMETHING HOWIE! I CAN'T GET HER UP!"

Howie's adrenaline shot though his body as he lifted Sara from Brian's arms and ran from the fire.
"Come on Brian!"

He only hoped they weren't trapped.

Kevin walked quickly, but careful not to stop on any of the fallen debris. He cursed to himself as
the smoke grew thick. Too think for him to find Nick, Jenn, and AJ.

"Nick! JENN!" He shouted, knowing it would hurt him in the end. "AJ! Where are you?"

Suddenly, he heard the sound of someone running towards him. He made out the figure to be Nick.

"NICK! Where's Jenn and AJ?" Kevin shouted, but there was no answer. The man ran off the
other way. "Where the hell are you..."

"KEV! Over HERE!" AJ's raspy voice came from the opposite direction.

"But...Nick..."

"Nick's over here too! Hurry! Jenn got hit with this falling shit and...and...w-we can't find our way
out." AJ shouted again.

Kevin took off in the direction of AJ's voice, almost sure he was crying. So, who was that guy that
he thought was Nick?

"Oh God, I'm hallucinating." He mumbled to himself. With this, he picked up his pace as he saw
Jenn in Nick's arms and AJ trembling behind him. "THAT WAY!" He announced, pointing a finger.

Within seconds, they had found the exit. Not soon enough though.

Jenn was knocked out cold.

Kevin managed to bust open the door and force the others out in front of him. They all got a few
feet from the door, then collapsed in coughing fits. When Kevin managed to catch his breath he
looked around. He saw fire trucks heading to the stadium and saw a few of the personal that was
still there. Then he realized that Brian, Sara, and Howie were not there.

Kevin quickly got back up and ran back into the building. he faintly could here Nick and AJ yelling
at him to come back, but he didn't pay them any attention. Once back inside his eyes started to
burn due to the smoke.

"Brian!!" He yelled out, and it was followed by many coughs. "Howie!!" He yelled out once more,
only to find himself now suddenly feeling very light headed. He pushed that feeling aside for now
and moved further back into the building. He stopped suddenly when he heard a frantic pounding.

Turning to his right he saw a door a few feet away. Once he made his way to it he knew that the
noise was coming from there. "Stand back!!" He yelled as he positioned himself to knock the door
down. After throwing his shoulder into the door a few times, it finally gave way. He fell into the
room and looked to see Brian leaning over Sara's still form, and Howie looking at him with thanks.

Kevin even say anything, he just bent down and picked Sara up and told the other to go in the
direction he just came. They were all struggling to breath through the smoke filled air. Soon they
came to the door that Kevin had just came in from, only to find chains now held the door closed.

Kevin couldn't believe this, this HAD to be the door that he had used. Howie fell to his knees in
front of the door, shaking the handles as he kneeled there. Disbelief fell over all of them as they
though of where they could go next.

Brian let out a hacking cough as he tried to speak, "I think there's an exit" he coughed again, "over
there, about 100 feet away." He pointed to the left, they all headed into that direction.

The door was there, but nobody could believe their luck. It was blocked, by a huge piece of stage
that would take at least five men to move. "This can't be happening!!" Howie yelled out. The one
who never believed that something was impossible. "We can't die like this, we just can't!" He
seemed near hysterics.

Kevin quickly put Sara down on the ground and headed over to the object that was holding off
their escape. "Howie, I need your help." Howie quickly made his way over to Kevin and they both
began to push with all their might.

Brian watched in awe as the two of them managed to move it, when it would have taken much
more man power than that. Howie was the first to make his way out of the door, collapsing in a fit
of coughing onto the pavement from all the excursion and from the lack of oxygen. AJ ran to his
side as soon as he saw his best friend emerge from the burning building.

Kevin made his way over to Brian and Sara, "Brian go, I've got Sara, get out of here NOW!!!" He
pushed his cousin towards the door and scooped Sara into his arms. Once out into the open air
Kevin thought that he was gonna pass out. He quickly laid Sara down next to Howie and collapsed
along side of Howie.

Kevin just couldn't seem to get in a breath as he struggled. He rolled over onto his back and
looked up into the star filled sky, watching as the stars began swirling in front of his eyes. Taking
on last glance to make sure all of his family was no longer in the building, he gave in and
welcomed the darkness.

***

“Kev, man, can you hear me? Come on man, open those eyes.” Kevin awoke to hearing AJ’s
raspy voice in his ear. At first he began to get pissed off at the one that was bothering him, he just
wanted to sleep a little. Then it all came back to him as he took in a whiff of AJ’s smoke filled
clothes, causing him to quickly snap open his eyes and try to sit up.

AJ quickly pushed Kevin back down into his bed, relieved that the older man was now awake.
“Take it easy there Kev, its okay.” Kevin leaned back into the bed, but his eyes showed his worry.

“Is everyone ok?” Kevin was surprised at how raspy his own voice was.

“Nobody was hurt too badly. See look, D and Brian are over there.” AJ said as he pointed over to
the two other beds. They both looked to be resting comfortably. “Nick is in the other room with the
girls. Everyone with the exception of Jenn just got a bit too much smoke in there systems. They
are keeping everyone overnight for observation. Something fell on Jenn and hit the back of her
leg. They are guessing that when it hit her it caused her to fall and knock herself out. She’s got a
nice size bump on her head, and her leg was all scrapped up, but everyone is fine Kev.” AJ said
reassuringly.

“Oh thank god.” Kevin said feeling a huge weight lift off of his chest.

“But Kev,” AJ started, but hesitated for a minute. “I think that this was not an accident. Howie
told me all about the door being chained.”

Kevin let out a deep sigh, “I had the same feeling, but we will have to talk about this later.” With
that said Kevin shut his eyes and fell back to sleep.

***

Nick couldn’t believe this, two years ago he thought this would be over. Now within the past 48
hours everything had changed. AJ had shared his fears with him only an hour ago, and he knew
deep down that this was the work of Rick and Kara. He took a deep breath and looked at his wife.

She still had not fully woken up yet. Sara had woken up a few hours ago, and had gone back to
sleep once she was reassured that Brian was safe. Jenn had been mumbling things for the past
hour, he could tell that she was scared.

His thoughts were interrupted when AJ walked into the door. “Hey Jay, any changes?” Nick asked.

AJ gave a nod, “Kev just woke up, but he’s out again. He seemed really tired, but the nurse said
that its normal for him to want to go right back to sleep.”

“Well its good that he’s finally awake, he was in that smoke for a while. I still can’t believe that he
ran back in, but it was a good thing he did. If he hadn’t, who knows if Brian, Sara, and D would
have made it out.” Nick had tears in his eyes.

“Don’t think about that man, everyone is here and okay. All I know is that I don’t think I’ll ever
smoke another cigarette again.” AJ said trying to lighten the mood.

“I think everyone would kill you if you tried to smoke.” Nick responded. They were interrupted
when they heard a small moan come from Jenn. Nick quickly was right at her side, holding her
hand. “Come on baby, open your eyes.” Nick pleaded.

Jenn’s eyes slowly fluttered open. When her eyes connected with Nicks she let out a sob. “Oh
Nick, I…I…”

“Shhh, baby its okay. It’s all okay now.” Nick said soothingly as he pushed her hair back off of her
face.

Jenn still continued with her cries, “No Nick, it’s not. In the fire, I saw Rick.”

Chapter 4

"So what do you all want to include in this?"

The guys, along with Sara and Jenn, were all sitting around a table in a meeting room that
seemed to confining for the fear and loss of control that they all felt within. The group half
listened as management made plans for the press release concerning the fire at the arena
two days ago.

"Do we really have to say anything? We're all fine." Kevin stated, tiredly rubbing his drawn
face.

"Kev…" Howie spoke softly.

"Well, damn it! We ARE fine! All of us…just fine! They don't care to hear the truth anyway!"
Kevin pushed himself away from the table and stood as his voice grew louder. "Why the hell
does everyone have to be in OUR business?"

"Mr. Richardson, it was just a fire.." One of the business women spoke up. Who was she
anyways? He had certainly never seen her before.

A sneer appeared on his face. She had no idea. No one had any idea except the seven of
them. He couldn't take anymore. Pushing his chair even further back, Kevin walked briskly
towards the door and slammed it on his way out. AJ almost immediately stood up to follow
him.

Brian's head shot up for the first time during the meeting. Although Kevin's outbursts of
emotion weren't uncommon during the past days, it still scared Brian that his cousin was
weakening. Everyone knew that Kevin acted this way because he couldn't be the 'protector'
anymore and it frustrated him. It hurt him. It seemed as though he just didn't know what to
do with himself anymore. There were several occasions when Brian or Jenn woke up from a
nap to find Kevin just sitting there, watching them. Sure, it could freak you out a bit, but they
understood in the end.

Brian swallowed and looked back towards Sara, who sat beside him, taking care of things
for him. She felt his eyes settle upon her and turned her head to offer him a smile of
comfort. Turning her attention back to the droning voice at the head of the table, Sara took
hold of his hand that rested nervously in his lap under the table. After a tight grasp and a
few gentle caresses, he felt her open his hand and begin to spell into his palm.

He couldn't help but grin inwardly as she spelled out the words that defined their love. The
words that were inscribed on the inside of their wedding bands.

'Forever and Always.'

It seemed like an eternity since they had spoken those words to one another. Brian had
never felt as guilty as when he didn't reciprocate her action. Something inside him wouldn't
let him complete the task. Why, Why, Why? His mind whirled but to no avail. For the first
time, Brian Littrell began to wonder if he was even worthy of the woman next to him.

Jenn's eyes had been glued to the door ever since Kevin had slammed it shut. She now
watched the window beside the door as AJ moved in to hug Kevin. That's when she saw the
tears that fell down the older man's face.

Kevin was crying.

That frightened Jenn a bit. In her five years of knowing him, she had only seen Kevin cry
maybe twice. Now, he was breaking down with the rest of them. Who was going to be their
leader? Who were they going to count on?

Her eyes slowly wandered across the table to find Brian and Sara, huddled close, and then,
Howie, acting attentively in Kevin's place.

When had their world become so crazy? Where had this all started? With that one small car
wreck? It seemed so strange to think about it all now.

It seemed almost crazy to WANT to think about it all.

Jenn looked up towards management as a sentence caught her attention. Nick noticed this
and wrapped his arm around her, gently rubbing her shoulder and pulling her towards him.

"This fire was an accident, right? The firefighters think it started with a faulty electrical
outlet."

She wanted to protest so much but she knew she couldn't let their secret out. It would put
them in more danger. As soon as they were gone though…

"God, Nick! I know…I know I saw Rick… I would never forget those eyes. That… that figure…
IT WAS HIM! He started all of this!" Jenn began to shout and upset herself.

Nick turned his chair and pulled her into his lap. "Sweetheart, we don't doubt you but, how
could you see clearly? Maybe it was a hallucination before you passed out…"

The other five watched as Jenn curled herself up into Nick's lap and let out a quiet sob into
his chest. "I'm so scared. I know…"

"I think she may be right, Nick." Kevin spoke for the first time from where he stood against
the wall.

"What?" Brian looked at his cousin quizzically.

"I…I think I saw him too."

Everyone looked at Kevin like he had grown a new head or something. Nick was the first
one to speak up, “What do you mean Kev?”

“During the fire, I had lost you guys for a second.” Kevin’s eyes looked like he was
replaying the event as he spoke about it. The tears that followed proved that. “I was
actually scared, I didn’t see you guys. But then I saw a figure running towards me, and I
thought it was Nicky. Then AJ called out for me, and the figure just disappeared. It had to
have been him you guys.”

“See, I’m not crazy. He was there.” Jenn’s quiet voice broke the silence that followed
Kevin’s statement.

“Honey,” Nick said grabbing her chin so she was looking at him. “No one ever said you
were crazy.”

“Well you thought it. Hell even I was beginning to think it.” Jenn let out a sigh.

“Just relax, we will get this figured out.” Nick leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the
lips.

“Oh get a room.” AJ said as he smiled at the couple.

****

Two weeks had now gone by, free of any threats. Everyone was starting to get comfortable
with everything again. Jenn had come down with something, she was always tired and not
feeling all that well. AJ had joked that she was knocked up once again, but Jenn quickly
tested that possibility and thankfully it came up negative.

Not like Jenn didn’t want another baby, but with all that had happened over the past few
weeks, she didn’t feel it was the time. Both couples were terribly missing their kids. Just
the sight of a family always brought a frown to their faces. Luckily this tour would be over in
just over a month, they couldn’t wait.

Nick and Sara were feeling a bit bad though, they had been slipping sleeping pills to their
significant others in hopes of them sleeping the whole night through. Most nights it
worked. Uninterrupted sleep was hard to come by, but now for three nights straight, it had
happened.

This morning though, Jenn was feeling not so good. “Nick…” Her weak voice called out.

Nick quickly came into the room, he had been in the kitchen of the bus, looking what to
make for breakfast. “Good Morning!” Nick happily called out, but then his face turned down
as he saw the pale look to his wife. “What’s wrong honey?” He sat down beside of her on
the bed.

Jenn frowned, “I don’t feel too good today. I just wish I knew what was wrong with me.”
Jenn said sadly.

Nick pushed the hair out of her face and felt her forehead. “It feels like you’ve got a bit of a
fever. Let me go find the thermometer just to make sure, but first let me get you your pills.”
Jenn just nodded to him as he stood up.

Jenn had been on some antibiotics since the fire, her leg had gotten a nasty infection and
these were helping her to fight it off. The doctor had said that it might make her sick, but to
keep an eye on her. He returned to the room with a glass of water and her pills which she
took with no resistance.

Nick searched their end of the bus for the thermometer but couldn’t find it. As much as he
didn’t want to disturb Brian and Sara, he knew that he had too. He knocked on the door and
waited to be asked in. When he was he quickly stepped in.

Sara had a finger to her mouth, shushing Nick. Nick looked over and saw that Brian was still
sleeping soundly, and couldn’t help the smile that crossed over his face. He decided to just
ask the question, “Sar, do you know where the thermometer is. I need to take Jenn’s temp
and I can’t find it.”

Sara quietly reached down and grabbed a bag, she pulled out the thermometer and handed
it to Nick. “Jenn still not feeling any better?” She asked quietly.

“No, she’s not. If she’s still feeling like this in a few days I’m calling the doctor. There is no
reason for her to be this sick.” Nick said as he headed back to the door. “But I’ll let you
guys get your rest, thanks.” Nick acknowledged Sara’s smile as he closed the door and
made his way back to his bed.

Nick was trying to remember what city they were on their way to, but came up blank.
Shaking his head he decided that next time he was gonna pay attention, yeah right. As he
approached the bed he saw that Jenn had already fallen back asleep. With a sad sigh he
placed the thermometer down on the table and sat back down next to her.

He pulled the blankets up over her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m never
gonna leave your side, you don’t ever need to worry about that again.” Nick felt a tear run
down his face and quickly wiped it away. He decided to forget about the food for now, and
just lie here next to his wife for the time being.

***

Once Nick had closed the door Sara decided to start getting ready for the day. With one last
glance at Brian she scooted out of bed. She began to look for something to wear for the
day, as she did she began straitening up the room. Brian had gotten really messy as of late,
just throwing his stuff all over. Not like she really cared, but she was sure management
would care if his clothes were wrinkled.

Sara let herself wonder why that thought came to her mind. They had psycho’s after them,
and she was worried about management. That caused her to laugh out load, and she
covered her mouth with her hand. She shook the thought out of her head and continued on
her mission.

Once she finally found her clothes for the day she made her way to the bathroom and
proceeded to get dressed. Once she had done her morning ritual she made her way back
out to her room to find Brian awake.

“Mornin Sweetie.” She said happily.

Brian looked and her and gave her a small grin, “Back at ya.” He stretched and let out a big
yawn. “I see you picked up a bit.”

“Yeah, had nothing better to do. Figured I might as well do it when I had the chance. We
are arriving in LA today, and we will be there for like 4 days.” Sara said as she sat down
next to him on the bed.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. AJ said something about us meeting up with Lori. She’s shooting for
that new movie there. I’m sure AJ’s annoying the hell out of Kev and D right now going on
and on about seeing Lori.” Brian said with a laugh.

“See it’s not so bad not having to share a bus with all the other guys.” Sara said.

“Ain’t that the truth.” Brian replied with a nod. “Well I guess I had better be getting ready
for the day. Once we stop I’m sure AJ will move on to buggin us.” With that he got off of the
bed and started gathering some clothes.

Chapter 5

Kevin and Brian sat in the back with Sara squished in between them. It was one of those days for
Brian, where he would stare out the window and keep his silence. Both his cousin and his wife
sensed this so they left it alone. Sara felt bad earlier when she watched him act like he was okay.
The days where he was like this were becoming fewer and fewer though and they were all
thankful for that. Jenn was especially glad that the ‘bad days’ were becoming fewer. Brian
helped her to understand that everything was going to be alright.

Today, unfortunately, was just one of those days where he was contemplating life. What would
they do if they came back? Who would they take? Would they make it out this time? How long
was his life really going to be?

The thoughts disturbed him deeply and Brian knew that if he talked, emotion would be evident in
his voice. He didn’t want to make anyone else feel bad so, he tried his hardest to fight the
feelings of apprehension away, to enjoy the days that he had with everyone. Until he could come
to terms with his mind though, Brian decided that he would just enjoy the busy scenery that
passed before his blue eyes. How he wished he was as carefree as the people outside.

Sighing, Brian turned his head and wrapped an arm around his wife’s shoulders. Right now, she
was the only one he wanted. Maybe they would get to the hotel, call Emily, and then lay on the
bed and watch cartoons for the night. Like old times. Old times sounded so good right now.

In the seat in front of them, Nick sat, gently brushing Jenn’s hair away from her face. It was no
surprise when he looked down to see that she had fallen asleep again.

"Are you sure that test was negative, Kaos?" AJ asked, seeing Jenn’s closed eyes and calm
breathing.
"Oh yeah, dude! We have enough out of our terrible twosome right now!" Nick laughed quietly.
God, did he miss them!

Zach and Nicole had been a constant reminder to them that life is never totally hopeless when
tragedy strikes. If Nick hadn’t had Nicole while Jenn was gone, he might have abandoned all
hope of finding his wife. If Jenn didn’t have Zach as soon as she did, she might not have been
as able to move on so well as she had done.

They were all moving on so well and then…. BOOM!

The sudden jolt shook Nick out of his thoughts, grateful that it was only a speed bump causing
the noise. Suddenly, his mind raced back to where this insanity all began, the night of the car
accident. The wreck that had taken his son, Nicole’s twin. The wreck that had taken Brian and
Sara’s baby as well. The wreck that, well, wrecked their lives. Nick was never more grateful to
hear Howie’s voice breaking up the terrible pain in his memory. He was so scared of that pain.

"We’re here guys!" His Latino friend announced from the passenger’s seat.

Nick watched with a grin as AJ was first to bolt out of the van but was abruptly yelled at for
running out without a bodyguard. It was always so amusing when AJ was scolded.

The blonde brought his attention back to the sleeping girl that rested in his lap. He was actually
glad that they had arrived when they did so that he could wake her. Jenn’s breathing had
become a little too calm and shallow for his liking.

"Hey love.." Nick hunched over, whispering into her ear.

Drowsily, her eyes began to open as Brian and Sara were evacuating the car.

"Ew! What am I doing sleeping with Brian?" She said quietly, obviously a bit disoriented, the only
vision she had was the back of Brian’s head as he climbed out of the van.

This caused Nick to laugh out loud and sent Jenn flying into an upright position.

"Oh MY GOD!" She breathed, grabbing her chest for dramatic effect. "YOU scared me!"

"I’m sorry." Nick breathed, reaching the end of his laughter. "We’re.. uh.. Here. And just for the
record, you didn’t sleep with Brian."

Jenn blushed, hitting her husband’s arm and evacuating the van as well as he followed.

Jogging a bit to catch up with Jenn, Nick wrapped his arms around her from behind. "You
wouldn’t want to sleep with Brian. Remember? I’m TWICE the man!"

"Oh…my.. God!" She laughed in spite of herself. "You know, he’s looking pretty good compared
to you right now."

"Who is?" Sara inquired, smiling as she leaned against a wall, waiting for Brian to get the room
key.

As Nick opened his big mouth, Jenn quickly shut a hand over it.

"No one." She responded simply as Nick smiled and mouthed ‘twice the man’ towards her.

"Allllright…" Sara made a strange face towards the couple.

"WHAT am I being left out of? Haven’t I been left out of enough stuff?!" The voice came from the
blonde standing behind Jenn.

"LORI!" Soon, the two best friends were embracing each other tightly, as if they hadn’t seen
each other in years.

"HEY! I didn’t even get it that good!" AJ pouted, standing beside Nick, with his hands dug in his
pockets.

"Oh shut up! You know you will later!" Lori winked at her husband who seemed to perk up at the
comment.

"Ohhhh…" Brian raised his hand towards the front desk. "Sir, I don’t want a room next to these
people!" He had arrived at the last part of Lori and AJ’s conversation.

Everyone laughed at the comment and, even though Sara knew he was faking the happiness
today, she laughed along too. She grabbed his hand though as a sign of security. It was his
acting days when he really needed someone to hold on to.

The greetings and conversation continued between the group. What they had forgotten while
they were enjoying each other’s presence was that they were all Backstreet Boys and
Backstreet wives. They were only reminded by that familiar high pitched scream of a crazed
Backstreet fan.

Everyone’s head turned to look at each other, fear evident in their wide eyes. It only took that
one word from Kevin to put them into action.

"Run."

Each boy was grabbed by his bodyguard as the crowd of fans gathered in huge amounts around
them. Each of their wives followed steadily behind as they had been separated for the boys’
safety.
Fortunately, Kevin, Brian, Nick, Howie, and AJ all made it to their floor safely. The elevators had
been temporarily locked and the stairs were guarded for the time being. They just couldn’t risk
big unorganized crowds because of the threat that Kara or Rick may be lurking about, disguised
as an innocent fan or bystander.

Each boy had already been ushered to their room when Jenn and Lori arrived, chattering away
as if it were an everyday thing to be mobbed by fans. Of course, though, for them, it pretty much
had been. They separated only when they reached their rooms, assuming that Sara had been
with Brian.

A few moments later, it was Brian that showed up at Nick and Jenn’s door.

"Hey Bri, what’s up?" Nick answered, offering a smile to his worried looking friend.

"Uh, Nick, don’t you think we should send security to go look for the girls?" He said, obviously
not understanding why Nick was so calm.

"Brian, Jenn’s already back. Is Sara not?" By this time, Jenn had come peeking around her
husband’s shoulder.

Brian started to freak out. He almost fell into Kevin’s door across the hall.

"Kev, please tell me you’ve seen Sara!" His cousin pleaded as Kevin opened the door.

"No. I thought she was with you." Kevin replied, coming outside his door as Lori, AJ, and Howie
all came out as well, overhearing the commotion.

"What’s going on?" AJ inquired.

Before anyone could answer, Brian began to hyperventilate.

They had gotten her. Rick and Kara were in that lobby and they had gotten her.

His blue eyes searched desperately for help. Someone to find Sara. He took off in one direction
but it wasn’t too long before Nick pulled him back.

"Bri, you don’t need to go down there. If they’re there they’ll…" He tried to talk some sense into
his older friend but there was no use.

They’ll kill her. They’ll hurt her and kill her. The thought sent a pang through his heart, worse
than anything he had ever felt before. He had to get to his wife, the mother of his little girl. So,
why was he so paralyzed?

A cry escaped his lips before he gave into Nick’s embrace.

~*~

It was 1 AM when Lori laid in the embrace of her husband.

"Do you think things will ever get better, J?" She asked quietly, staring up at the ceiling.

"I don’t know, baby. Some days they do but then.." AJ’s word drifted off, knowing she could fill in
the rest.

Some days, there were days like today.

Anytime one of them were late now, it was worrying. A lot more worrying than it used to be.
Today, it had been Brian’s turn to freak out. It was such a heartbreaking scene. Brian had broken
down as Nick held him and security went to look for Sara. While they were gone, Brian must’ve
uttered every possible scenario for what could’ve happened, all of which included Rick and
Kara. And he blamed himself for everything.

AJ had never seen a more relieved look on Brian’s face when his wife came around the corner.
It turned out that she had just gotten caught up in the mass of fans and couldn’t leave without
signing a few autographs. She quickly ran over to Brian, seeing how she had upset him. She
knew what was wrong and she gently nursed him back to sanity.

The experience had made AJ want to hold on tighter to Lori every chance he got. He wanted to
make love to her as much as he could, have mindless conversations with her until early morning
hours, and, ultimately, watch every sunrise with her and a baby in his arms.

"Lori, I…let’s have kids. A family." He smiled at the thought.

"Okay…" Tonight though, they would only hold each other tighter, and fall asleep in the arms
that held forever.

***
“Oh, this feels so good.” Jenn breathed out as the man continued to massage her back. Her
only reply was her friends muffled voices saying something that she couldn’t make out.

Jenn, Sara, and Lori had all decided to spend the day together at the spa since the boys would
be busy all day with tour stuff. Lori had suggested it, seeing the Jenn and Sara seemed to be
very tense over everything. All too soon the massage part was over and they made their way
into another room for a facial.

“I think we should get this done everyday.” Sara said as she sat down.

“Yeah, just get one of these guys onto the bus, and we would be set.” Jenn said with a smile.

“I don’t think Nick and Brian would like that very much.” Lori said with a laugh.

“I don’t care, this is like heaven.” Sara said as she leaned back comfortably. They all quieted
down for a bit as people began to start their facials. As soon as the people finished, they were
instructed that it would need to stay for an hour, and they could just relax. So the girls decided
to start up some girl talk.

“So,” Jenn started. “How is the married life treating you Lori?”

“I love it so much, I just can’t wait till we actually get to spend more time together and start our
family. AJ and I talked about it last night, he really wants to get started on one.” Lori said as she
closed her eyes.

“You two are behind the curve, our kids are getting so old.” Sara said with a happy look on her
face.

“They sure are, it’s crazy how fast they grow up.” Jenn said softly. “I think Nick wants to have
more, but I’m not too sure right now. You know, with everything that’s been going on.” Jenn
hated bringing up the problems they were having, but couldn’t just ignore it.

“Well that is understandable,” Lori followed. “This is all some scary shit, but I’m sure that we
can beat it. You and Nick aren’t having any other problems though, are you?”

“Oh no, everything is great. We are still VERY into each other.” Jenn let out a little laugh at that
thought.

“Eww, we don’t need any details.” Lori said with a sour look on her face.

“I wasn’t going to give you any. Right now I’m just missing the kids a lot, but I know that it’s
better for them to be away. We only have like another month till we get our Christmas Break, so
it will be better then.” Jenn said now looking over at Sara. She had been oddly quiet. “Is
everything alright with you and Bri?”

Sara looked up and them in shock. Of course nothing was right with them, but she wasn’t so
sure if she wanted to share that with them. But seeing the helping looks that they were giving
her, she figured it couldn’t hurt.

“Well, um, it’s never been the same since…well…you know.” Her voice sounded so lost. “He’s
not the same person that he was all of the time. Sure, I know that he still loves me, but...I just
don’t know what to think anymore.” Sara shook her head trying to keep the tears from falling.

Jenn quickly came up to Sara’s side and pulled her into her embrace, Lori soon joined also. “It’s
okay to talk about it.” Lori said into her ear.

“I just don’t think he loves me like he used to. We haven’t…we haven’t…made love
since…since we conceived Emily…” Sara lost it there, the tears flowing freely. Neither Jenn or
Lori knew what to say to calm her, so they both just held her as she cried.

***

The girls hadn’t talked about that for the rest of the day. Once their spa treatment was over they
all headed over to the arena to see the show. Once the show was over they all just headed back
to the hotel for the night. They had the whole next day off, the buses weren’t leaving till 5 the
next morning.

The next day Lori and AJ managed to make it out of their room at around 11 am. They had stayed
up most of the night, loving each other till they were both exhausted. They had decided to
spend most of the day shopping, then would wrap it up with a quiet dinner, to say goodbye since
she would be staying behind.

“I wish that you were done with this movie. I hate being without you.” AJ said with a pout.

“I would LOVE to be with you to baby, but I need to make my money too.” Lori said as she quickly
made her way into a store. AJ followed her, but still had the pout on his face. “You better get
that look off your face. I don’t want people to think I’m not putting out for you or something.”
Lori said with a laugh.

“This would NOT be the face that I would make. I don’t think I’ll ever have to make that face.” AJ
said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Very true, how could I say no to a lay…I mean…face like that.” Lori and AJ both started laughing
at that causing one of the sales ladies to look at them.

***

Brian and Sara just slept in that day, feeling comforted from each others embrace. Brian was
first to wake up and he decided to go ahead and order some room service for them.

Sara woke up to the smell of pancakes, a small smile spread across her face. Brian always
ordered pancakes when they got room service, never failed. As her eyes fluttered open Brian
warmly greeted her, “Mornin’ sweetie.” He was setting up the small table in the room for them
to eat at.
Sara sleepily made her way out of the bed and over to the chair. Sara was happy at the aspect
that this seemed to be a good day for them, she just hoped nothing was going to ruin that.

Once they were done with breakfast Sara made her way to the bathroom to shower. When she
came out Brian was sitting on the phone, talking to his mother. “So they are all being good? I’m
sure three kids is a handful to be taking care of, but we really do appreciate it.”

Sara smiled, she was running the towel through her wet hair as she watched him. He still
seemed like a little child when he was talking to his mother, she found that so cute about him.
She was still feeling a little stupid for breaking down like that in front of the girls, but there was
nothing she could do about that now. She turned her attention back to her husband.

“Hi sweetie,” Brian said as he talked to his daughter on the phone. “Mommy and Daddy miss
you. Are you taking good care of your grandma and grandpa?” He smiled as he listened to her
try to communicate with him. Sure it was mostly one word answers, it still made him smile. “Are
Nicki, Zach, and you all having fun?”

The phone call ended soon after that, Sara got to talk too and was glad to hear her daughters
voice. The rest of the day in the hotel room was spent just watching TV as they both just
cuddled together in the bed.

***

Nick woke up suddenly as he felt the bed shift beneath him. Looking up into the dark room, he
made out the silhouette of Jenn making a mad dash for the bathroom. Rolling over and looking
at the clock he saw that it was six in the morning. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of bed
and headed for the bathroom.

Walking in he saw Jenn crouched down in front of the toilet, getting sick. He made his way to
her and began to rub her back, hoping to help all that he could. He said soothing words of
comfort as she began to calm down a bit.

Jenn let out a sigh, “I’m sorry I woke you up.” She trembled beneath his touch as she tried to
stand up, but swayed as she did so.

Nick shook his head as he helped steady her, “No need to say your sorry.” They slowly made
their way back to the bed. Nick eased her down and pulled the blankets up around her. He
walked to the minifridge and grabbed a bottled water for her, but by the time he reached the bed
he saw that he had already fallen asleep.

He placed the bottle down on the nightstand and made his way over to his side of the bed. He
didn’t understand why she was so sick, and he was worried. She seemed to have good day’s
and bad days, and he could already tell that this was gonna be one of those bad days. He
wondered what was causing this, but as sleep began to greet him, he decided that he would
have to think about it later.

Most of the day was spent sleeping for Jenn, Nick had her take her medicine the next time that
she had woken up. That had put her to sleep pretty quickly and Nick just decided to stay by her
side for the day. At around 8 that night Nick had thought it to be a good idea for them to go
ahead and get on the bus so they wouldn’t have to wake up early.

Jenn was still pretty unsteady, he would have carried her if she would let him, but he settled
with just supporting her as they walked. They only got a few strange looks from passerby’s, but
Nick just ignored them. Once on the bus Jenn decided she could handle getting to the bed on
her own.

“Will you be okay while I go back to get the rest of our bags?” Nick asked as she was walking
away from him.

“I’ll be fine honey, just go ahead. See, I’m at the bed already.” Jenn let out a little laugh.

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” Nick said as he stepped off of the bus. However, he didn’t make it
more than three steps when he heard Jenn’s terrified scream pierce through the night air.

Chapter 6

Kevin rubbed his tired eyes one more time and looked up as Brian read the letter once
again, this time, under his breath. The more he read it, the quieter he became. Any
moment, he would be expecting his cousin to stop mid- sentence and break down. He
looked around as AJ, Lori, Howie and Sara watched him as well, waiting to catch him when
he fell apart. They all listened, too, the words scaring them more each time.

My beautiful Jennifer,
I've missed you so much. All this touring has been hell, huh? Hell for me too, trying to
keep up. I think maybe once we stop, you and I should settle down, start a family, maybe? I
think it's a grand idea! Oh, Jenn, what would you do with me and my lovely thoughts?
Don't worry about that blond thing you call Nick. I'll take care of him and this time, pretty
boy won't interrupt our plans either. Yes, Kara has even better plans for him this time
around. Maybe he won't be such a pretty boy after she's through with him. But, anyways,
back to you and I. We'll get rid of the world baby, and those "friends" of yours. Knock
them to the ground so that they die in their own sea of red. Yes, sounds quite lovely.
Can't wait to see you again. Maybe you could bring your kids this time. Time is running out
quickly enough. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Love, Rick

All the couples had been resting in their rooms when they heard all the commotion out in
the hallway. Brian and AJ seemed to simultaneously open their doors to find Howie tightly
grasping Nick who held a paper in his hand and Kevin embracing Jenn, who seemed to be
beyond upset.

"Guys? What's going on?" Brian swallowed, fearing the worst as he felt Sara come up
behind him.

He didn't want to know though. He wanted to close the door and pretend that nothing had
happened. Pretend that he was still lying on his bed with his wife sleeping against his
chest. Reality was fighting him much too hard these days though.

So, here they all sat in Kevin's room without Nick and Jenn. It was decided that they
should go back to their room and rest, while security was being enforced and everything
was kept even tighter. They were left with the letter, two pictures of their children leaving
at the airport, and six pairs of eyes that were wondering if this shit would ever end.

It didn't sound like it.

"Maybe we should just cancel tour." AJ concluded hoarsely, running a hand through his
hair as Lori placed a hand on his shoulder.

"No…" Brian whispered softly from his chair, reaching for Sara's hand and then looking
up. "That'll just make it easier for them and…I'm can't go home without Emily. I don't want
to put her in.. danger too." He stopped. "But I don't want to put y'all in danger either."
Tears brimmed his eyes. "Oh God, what do we do?"
"Listen, Christmas break is in a couple of weeks. Let's just access the situation then, if
nothing forces us to before then." Kevin spoke, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"We should just sleep on it." Howie put in. Would it be fair to the fans to perform in the
emotional state that they were in? Could they even fake it now? The Latino played with his
fingers, he wasn't that sure of anything anymore.

Brian sat, emotionless, staring at the picture of he and Sara and Emily in the airport just
before she left. There was one with Nick's family to match. They had been there the whole
time.

And no one even knew.

~*~

"Jenn, it's okay now, baby. I'm here and no one is going to get us." Nick spoke quietly,
embracing his wife tightly.

It had been the 3rd time she had broke down since they had come back from the bus.
When she wouldn't lay down and rest, Nick suggested that they sit in the living room area
of the suite and find something to watch. He pushed open the balcony door a bit to allow
a cool breeze to drift through the room and then, grabbing a warm blanket off the bed,
Nick sat on the couch and Jenn snuggled against him. Soon, they found a Christmas
movie to watch, but neither one was paying much attention to it.

They had not been sitting there 10 minutes when Nick heard the sniffles coming from the
head on his shoulder. Without even having to look at her, he knew she was breaking
down slowly and he only put an arm around her shoulders, rubbing gently. It was no use
to try and stop her. Hell, he wasn't sure if he could keep it together himself.

So, there they sat, making no attempt to stop the tears that now flowed freely. The TV had
been turned off and the Carters sat, tightly huddled together.

"W-what if they get Zach and Nicole, Nick?" Jenn murmured in a quiet voice unlike her
own.

"They won't, baby." Nick swallowed, he had to sound confident. "Brian's mom doesn't let
ANYONE in her house. Hell, one year on Thanksgiving, she barely let Brian and I in."

Jenn cracked a little smile but it was mostly just to satisfy Nick. There was so much
insecurity and fear in her heart right now that it was almost unbearable. It was times like
these when she was so grateful that she married a man like Nick. Jenn knew that he
would never let her down.

"It's going to be okay, Jenn. In the end, we'll all be alright." He whispered, feeling her
anxiety.

She sniffed, relieved a little by his confidence. "Happily ever after?"

"Happily ever after." Nick held her tighter and it was then that he realized his believable
acting abilities.

~*~

Sara sat, restlessly watching the stars that were twinkling outside the window. She
smiled, the small shimmers reminding her of Brian's blue eyes.

That twinkle that was so hard to find these days.

Her eyes wandered back to the bedroom door. Her husband had been in there for at least
an hour, claiming that he had wanted to be alone. Sara sighed, damning herself for
thinking that today would be normal and getting her hopes up that maybe, just maybe,
they could find the love they used to know so well.

Today had been so great. So…almost perfect.

As Sara began to think about their lives together, she realized that the silence coming
from the bedroom was much too quiet for her liking. At least at first she had heard the
quiet cries that broke her heart with each audible sniffle.

She quietly knocked on the door, hoping with all her heart that he would let her in this
time. That he would even answer her would be good enough. When the woman received
no response, her heart began to flutter with a bit of fear.

Opening the door though, Sara found everything to be alright. Brian had simply cried
himself to sleep. She approached the bed with a sad smile pulling at her lips. It was the
only time he looked peaceful now. Even when they were alone together, there was
something in his eyes that told her that he wasn't at ease.

Almost like he had guilt. Like he was hiding things he found too hard to talk about.

The brunette kneeled beside the bed and ran her fingers through the curls in his hair, not
surprised to feel moisture beading on his forehead. Sara bit her lip, seeing that Emily's
carebear was nestled tightly in his arms.

"My poor baby." She whispered quietly, worry creasing her own forehead. Careful not to
disturb him, she took his warm hand and held it in her own, sliding off her knees and
sitting down on the floor.

Soon, she too fell into her own dreamless sleep.

At around two that morning, neither Brian or Jenn could sleep. They were both sitting in
the common area of the suite, needing each other for comfort. They just sat there for
about an hour in each others embrace.

Brian felt like his chest was about to explode. He felt like he needed to talk to someone
about something that he really wasn’t too sure happened, and there was only one person
who could answer his question. Looking down into Jenn’s face, he saw that she was just
staring straight ahead. Her eyes showed that she was thinking about many things.

Brian sat up a little, “Jenn, I…I have to ask you something.” His voice came out a bit
shaky.

Jenn turned her head up towards him and bit her bottom lip. “Sure Bri, what is it?” She
could tell by the tone of his voice that something was bothering him really bad.

Brian let out a frustrated sigh, “I don’t even know how to tell you this.” A few tears fell
down his face. “I…I feel like I cheated on Sara.” He let out quickly.

Jenn just stared at him, “Brian, why would you think that?” Jenn pulled his face up to
look into hers. The look of anguish in his face almost caused her to break down.

“When we…when…when Kara…you know…her and I….” Brian was barely able to get out.

Jenn’s face now held a look of confusion. “Brian, I don’t know why you would think you
cheated on her. What happened…then…wasn’t in our control. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“I can’t help it. I’m almost pretty sure that I had…had sex…with HER, and I don’t think I did
anything to stop it. I’m a horrible husband.” Brian dropped his head into his hands as he
began sobbing

Jenn quickly pulled his face up again, holding it so hard that Brian was surprised by her
strength. “Damn it Littrell! What happened down there, neither of us could control. Don’t
go hurting your relationship with your wife over this. I’ve managed to stay strong, you
damn well need to do the same too!”

Brian didn’t want to feel this way, but he knew that he couldn’t help what he was feeling.
Jenn just didn’t understand, he thought to himself. The look in her eyes however, told
him that he needed to answer her. “You just wouldn’t understand.” Brian said sadly.
Brian was shocked at what he heard come from her next.

“That’s where you’re wrong Brian.” Jenn now had tears shinning in her eyes. “I
understand more than you know. Where you doubt what happened between you and
Kara, I remember EVERY DAMN THING! Damnit Brian, I see Kara doing the things to you.
I…I can still feel the things…that…that Rick did to me.” Jenn let out a loud sob at that
statement.

Brian looked at her quizzically, “Jenn, is there something you haven’t told me?”

Jenn looked up at him with uneasiness, “I know exactly how you feel about what Kara did
to you. Cause Rick did the same damn thing to me.” At that Jenn finally collapsed against
Brian’s shoulder, crying her heart out. Brian couldn’t do anything but try to console her,
as he too, cried.

***

The next morning everyone was up at 5 and getting on the busses. Kevin had insisted
that once again, he ride on Nick and Brian’s bus. The last one to get on his bus was AJ,
he just didn’t want to leave Lori behind.

“I really wish that you could be with me.” AJ said as he pulled Lori into an embrace.

“I know you do baby, but I have to work. Its only 2 weeks till the Christmas get together, I
can wait that long, if you can.” Lori said not letting go of AJ, as if she didn’t want to.

AJ sucked in a deep breath, “Two weeks, I think we can handle that. But please, be
careful. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.” AJ was happy that even though
it was still pitch black outside, that he had his glasses on. His eyes had watered up, and
he didn’t want Lori to see that, but it was as if she had a sixth sense about it.

“Baby, I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you either. So you be careful too.” She
said as she reached up and placed two of her fingers underneath his sunglasses,
smoothing away the unseen tears. Then his lips met hers and neither of them wanted the
kiss to end.

“Sorry, to break this up…” Howie said interrupting them. “But we need to get going.”

With their faces still only inches apart AJ whispered, “Just be careful, two more weeks.”
He reminded both of them. With a silent nod they both let go, and Lori watched as the bus
pulled away with tears in her own eyes.

***
Sara walked into the dinette part of the bus looking for the orange juice. She wasn't able
to fall back to sleep as easily as Brian had and, after a few minutes of fidgeting and a loud
snore from her husband that made her want to hit him with a pillow, she decided it would
be better to just get up.
The brunette yawned and covered her mouth, searching the wall for a switch that would
bring some light into the area.

"Couldn't sleep either?" A voice behind her caused her to fall over the step in front of
her.

"Damn, Nick!" Sara gasped, taking a breath in. "You scared me."

"Sorry." He smirked a bit, sitting down in a booth by the window. "Jenn kicked me out of
bed."

"What'd you do now?"

"Nothing. She literally KICKED me out. I thought I would let her take the whole bed
tonight. I'm not that tired anyway." Nick explained, rubbing his hair down with his hand.
"Give me whatever you're having."

"Do I look like your maid, Carter?" Sara asked with a raised eyebrow, standing in front of
the refrigerator.

"Hm, Brian DID tell me about that French maid outfit you used to have…"

Sara's eyes widened and Nick hunched forward as a Sunny Delight bottle hit him in the
stomach.

"Geez! You definitely don't throw like a girl anymore!" The blonde said, rubbing his
stomach.

"That's what motherhood does to you. After that pain, you don't do anything like a girl
anymore." She sat down across from him, opening her own bottle and taking a drink.

"Mmm, yah." Nick smiled again, thinking about the birth of his children. Well, Zach, at
least. His heart pained everytime he thought about having to tell Nicole where he was
during her birth. Or, even, that she was a twin..

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just… thinking."

"Hmm, dangerous." Sara spoke, leaning her head against the window and closing her
eyes.

"So, are you and Bri planning on having anymore children?" Nick asked innocently,
thinking about how happy Emily had made them when she was born. Brian didn't shut up
for weeks about her. Nick would even have to listen to her baby noises if he called Brian
during that time.
The question though, had sent Sara's eyes flying open and staring directly into Nick's.
Immediately, he knew that this was the wrong question to ask.

She licked her lips and then bit them, looking down and then looking back up again.

"We, uh, we haven't made love in two years, Nick." Sara wasn't sure why it was so easy to
tell him but, it had just come sliding out of her mouth like he was her best friend.

"Oh," Nick looked down. "I'm so sorry, Sar. I didn't know…"

"I know. It's alright. I'm just trying to figure things out between us." She twisted a piece of
hair around her finger. "I just…I miss him, ya know? I miss that insatiable feeling you get
when there's no one in the world but the two of us. That ecstasy you feel lying there
together that you want to laugh and cry, all at the same time…" Sara's eyes narrowed and
tears began to blur her vision as she looked down, putting her hands in her lap.

Nick quickly moved to her side of the table and did the only thing he could, hold her close
and let her cry. "I know, hon. Even when Jenn and I make love now, I don't have all of her
there like I used to. Some of her is still lost… out at sea somewhere."

The girl nodded against his chest, knowing exactly what he meant. Even the times that
she and Brian had tried, the fact that he wasn't all hers made it not even worth it. It
seemed to hurt him more than pleasure him. She couldn't deal with that. He had already
been through too much.

"Don't give up though, Sar, 'cos everytime Jenn and I sleep together now, everytime her
body nears mine on cold nights and I hold her so close to my heart, we're getting better.
It's kind of like falling in love again. Learning to trust and knowing that our hearts are
beating only for each other and nobody…ever… can take this love away from us." He
paused, rubbing her back. "Brian will understand that too, in that. You two love each
other and everyone knows that. Things are gonna work out.."

"I hope you're right." Sara leaned up and kissed Nick's cheek. "Thanks, Nick. I don't know
what I'd do without you."

"Nick?" A sleepy voice sounded from the direction of the beds.

"Hey baby…what're you doin' up?" Nick smiled at his wife, looking dazed and confused.

"I figured I kicked you out. Juuusttt wanted to say sorry." Jenn rubbed her eyes and yawn.
"And to tell you I'm cold so get your ass back in bed."

The blonde laughed a little and stood, helping Sara up too. "See? Tonight's just one of
those nights."

Sara smiled as Nick went and picked up Jenn to carry her back to bed. The couple
laughed a bit and Nick looked back towards Sara.

"Go to him, Sara. Fall in love again."

That night, Sara crawled back into bed and cuddled close to Brian.

"Hey.." He smiled groggily. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Falling." She answered simply and only smiled as he wrapped an arm around her.

In the other bed, Nick and Jenn held on to each other tight. Nick kissed the top of her
head gently, hoping that someday they would all be back to normal. And one day, Jenn
would give her whole self to him again.

Until then, he would be waiting patiently, with his hand stretched towards her. With open
arms.

***

It was the middle of the night, Kevin and Brian had been the only two awake when the bus
pulled into their next stop. After waiting for a half an hour inside of the bus, Kevin had
gone outside to wait.

“Man, they should be here by now.” Kevin said as he paced in front of the bus. The first
bus had contained Kevin, Brian, Sara, Nick, and Jenn.

“Kevin, I’m sure it’s fine. They probably got caught up in some traffic. They are gonna
pull up any second.” Brian said from his seat on the bus steps. He was worried too, but
didn’t want Kevin knowing that.

“I can’t help but worry, I should’ve been on that bus.” Kevin let out a deep sigh.

Brian knew where this was going, “Don’t blame this on yourself. It’s not going to help
any.”

Kevin didn’t answer as he looked up at the road. Headlights appeared and Kevin felt
relieved as the silhouette of a bus appeared next. Turning on his heel, he started making
his way to his cousin when two loud pops broke through the night air.

Brian’s head snapped up when he heard the loud noise. He nearly had a heart attack at
the sight that greeted him.

Kevin took two faltering steps back at the pain that exploded in his chest. Looking down
at the front of this shirt, all he saw was red. He suddenly felt faint, and began falling to
the pavement.

Brain managed to run to Kevin’s side and caught him before he crashed to the ground.
“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” was all Brian could get out as he cradled his cousins head in
his lap.

Pain etched into Kevin’s face as he tried to get in a breath. He couldn’t believe that this
could be the end for him, he wasn’t ready to die. He heard feet hitting the pavement and
was suddenly worried if it was the same people that had shot him.

“Oh my god! What happened?!” Howie cried out at the sight. Kevin was relived to hear
that it was one of their friends, and not some killer coming to finish them off.

Brian let out a cry, “I…I think he was sh…shot. Call 911!”

As everyone else made their way out of the busses the cried were heard through the
night air. Nick held onto Jenn and Sara as they cried into his chest. AJ was frozen at the
door of the bus. Howie had quickly pulled out his cell phone and was talking to the 911
operator.

“They should be here in about 5 minutes.” Howie relayed as he approached Kevin’s side.
The operator had asked him to look at the injuries. Howie wasn’t too sure if he could
handle this, but his friends life was on the line, and he knew that he had to.

“Kev, stay with me!” Brian yelled out as Kevin’s eyes began to flutter shut. Kevin
groaned and forced his eyes back open.

The operator instructed Howie to remove Kevin’s shirt, and he quickly ripped it off. He
was shocked when he was no holes in his chest.

“Th…there’s no wound!” Howie said to the operator in confusion. The sirens were
quickly approaching, basking the area in swirling lights. Howie began feeling around
Kevin’s chest for any kind of wound.

Kevin let out a painful moan when Howie pressed down on the center of his chest. The
pain became unbearable as his surroundings began to blur together, and he passed out.

Chapter 7

Nick waited outside the ladies' room for Jenn to come out. As soon as they had arrived at
the hospital, his wife had went running towards the restroom, no doubt to vomit her
breakfast. It had become almost like a custom on some days. Nick had unconsciously
followed her but was sent back into the hall, seeing the disproval of the women inhabiting
the facility.

It had been ten minutes now and the blonde had become extremely worried. It was not only
that Jenn would be hit hard with her sickness when it came about but, the fact that it came
on and off seemed a bit peculiar to him. What was even stranger is that they couldn't figure
out what set it off. If they didn't know how it started though, how could they stop it? All this
clouded his mind as Jenn finally exited the restroom.

"Baby, since we're at a hospital and all, maybe you should get yourself checked out.. " Nick
suggested, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they walked down the hall. It worried
him that she had become a few shades lighter than she was that morning.

"No… no, I'll be fine." She quickly pasted on a convincing smile and tucked a piece of fallen
hair behind her ear. "You know my doctor already said it was probably just a relapse from
that virus I had."

"Jenn..."

"Nick! I just forgot to take my medication this morning for it. I'm really alright." Jenn stopped
and faced him, rubbing his arm and smirking. Truth was, she had taken her medication and
it just didn't seem to help anymore. She was scared now, but, she couldn't let on. Not now.
Not so close to the holidays and with Kevin in the hospital…

Kevin…

"Honey, how's Kevin?" The girl asked her husband frantically, suddenly remembering why
they were in this place.

A look of remembrance passed over Nick's face as well. "I'm not sure. Everybody was going
to go see him when I came back to see about you. I guess we can find him ourselves."

The Carters neared the emergency rooms and found one with the door shut. Since it was
mandatory that any of the guys' rooms be private, Nick was almost sure that that was the
right one. Glancing at the chart by the door, Jenn nodded towards Nick.

"Stop POKING me! I am just dandy." Kevin's irritated voice came from where he was
propped up on the bed. A blond nurse had come to shoot him with morphine, which would
numb the pain.

"Hey guys. How is he?" Jenn asked, weakly, forcing down the sick feeling in her throat.

"Um, pretty doped up on morphine right now." Sara responded first, smirking towards
Kevin. "The doctors revealed that it was simply a paintball that hit him and they think he
has a broken sternum. Those asses were only trying to scare us."

"Aw, man." Nick breathed, running a hand through his hair.

"Yep. That means no strenuous activity, which rules out dancing." She further informed
them, biting her lip.

"Well, shit." The blonde cursed, offering his wife a chair before taking one himself. That's
when Nick noticed Brian sitting in a chair in the corner, the look he possessed disturbed
him a bit. "Um, where are the other guys?"

"Howie went to call management and stuff and AJ went with him. He's pretty shaken up. I
think he worries about Lori being alone…"

"That is TOO bad y'all! What're you gonna do without me dancing? I'm the best Backstreet
dancer…" Kevin rambled loudly and randomly, his eyes drooping.

"Morphine kicking in." Sara explained to an amused looking Jenn and Nick.

"Aww, Kev! Who are all your fans going to watch now? You know, they're not going to like
you just standing there." Jenn messed with him, standing and walking to the opposite side
of Sara.

Kevin's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness. Howie's going to steal my fans!" A look of thought
crossed his face before he broke out in hysterical laughter. "Howard.
Hoooowwaarddddd…." He spoke in a strange voice as the other four watched him.

"Hey, I like morphine Kevin. Let's put him on this permanently." Nick spoke up, laughing
slightly, as Kevin began to quiet and fall asleep.

Just as the girls were about to respond, Brian stood up abruptly, shot a glare across the
room and rushed out the door.

"What's wrong?" Jenn inquired curiously, trying to figure out why her friend had reacted
that way. Her eyes returned to Sara who looked just as dumbfounded as her own self.

"I have no idea." With that, the shorter brunette followed the path of her husband, who she
found just outside the door.

"Go back, Sara." He spoke, his head in his hands, sitting on a bench.

"Bri, what's going on?" She ignored his request, knowing he needed to talk. It did kind of
scare her though that he had used her whole name.

"My cousin is in there with a frickin' broken sternum and y'all are all laughing! It's all my
fault that's he even here…" He cried into his hands. God, he sounded so broken.

"Brian, how is it, in any way, your fault?!" Sara coaxed, trying to help him.

"Come on, Sara! Do you not remember where Jenn and I were two years ago?! Are you that
stupid that you forgot how big of a deal this really is?! I was supposed to get rid of these
people. I was supposed to get Jenn out safe and I ended up letting everybody down! Now
there's more than just the two of us involved!" His blue eyes were cast over with a darker
look about them. A look that made Sara very uncomfortable.

"Oh…" She swallowed, looking down.

"Oh's right." Brian knew he had crossed the line. He knew he had hurt her feelings, but he
couldn't turn back now.

"I was just trying to help you…"

"Well, you're not. Just go take care of Kevin."

The coldness of his voice was so unfamiliar , so foreign to his wife. Not even in their
biggest arguments had he used that tone. More than anything, it hurt. Slowly, Sara stood
and left Brian alone on the bench. Just as he had requested in the first place.

Only now, he wished he hadn't.

Inside the room, Jenn had been resting her head on the table until she had fallen asleep.
Nick looked over towards her, still worried about her health. He couldn't lose her. She the
love of his life, the mother of his children. She was the only one that could ever make his
heart jump with just one tender kiss.

Nick decided that he was going to get her checked out, one way or another, before
anything got worse.

His blue eyes returned to Kevin. How dare those shits break him down too. Kevin didn't
deserve to be messed with and now, they had gone too far.

That's when it hit him. What if they had messed with Jenn without him knowing it? With
tragic thoughts, he moved to her chair and pulled her into his lap. She was so warm.

"Those assholes…" Nick's voice was full of sadness. He wouldn't tell her of his suspicions;
it would kill her that she had let them get to her again. What could he do though? His soft
lips pressed against her forehead, racking his brain for his next move.

Nick quickly decided to talk to one of the doctors himself, and see if they would possibly
just take some blood from her while she was sleeping. That way she wouldn’t know of his
suspicions. It took a bit of convincing, but he found a doctor willing to do it for him.

Jenn flinched a bit in her sleep as the doctor placed the needle into her arm, but she did
not awaken. “Mr. Carter, I will take this to the lab immediately, but it may take a few days for
the full results to come back. I will be sure to give you a call once they are at my desk
though.” The doctor said as he made his way out of the room.

“Thanks for doing this Doctor, I really appreciate it.” Nick said with a grim look. He still
couldn’t believe he possible let these assholes get this close. The doctor left just as
Kevin began to stir again.

Kevin let out a loud moan as his eyes fluttered open. His eyes wondered around the room
in confusion. “Where, where are we?” Kevin asked as his eyes settled on Nick.

“We’re in the hospital Kev, do you remember what happened?” Nick asked as he
approached his bedside.

Kevin’s brow furrowed in thought, trying to come up with an explanation. “Bri and I were
waiting for the other bus, and…and…” Suddenly his eyes got really big and he frantically
grabbed at his chest immediately regretting doing so from the coursing pain that was sent
to his brain.

“Whoa, easy there Kev. You need to calm down.” Nick said as he grabbed Kevin’s hands.

“I…I was shot…” Kevin gasped out in remembrance.

“No Kev, you weren’t, well not really. They shot you with a paintball gun, a very high
powered one to be exact. They were just trying to scare us, and unfortunately, I’d say they
succeeded.” Nick said with some sorrow.

“Then why does this hurt so much, if I wasn’t shot?” Kevin asked, still feeling the pain from
his action.

“It was strong enough to break your sternum, but the doc expects you to make a full
recovery. You will just have to take it really easy for the next two months or so. Which
means no dancing, or anything.” Nick said sternly. Nick had to chuckle a bit at that, he was
actually telling Kevin what to do, he kinda liked that. Kevin soon went back to sleep, the
medicine was kicking back in once again, and for that he was thankful.

They released Kevin from the hospital the next day, with precautions to take it easy and to
rest. Everyone was keeping an extra eye on the eldest backstreet boy, which Kevin was
not too fond of.

“That was not very smart of you Kevin.” Howie said after one of the shows. “You don’t
even need to be thinking about dance moves, no less doing them.”

“I think I know what I can handle D.” Kevin said rolling his eyes. He didn’t care what
anyone told him. He hated just standing there and doing nothing, it was so not his style.

“We don’t care what you THINK, all that matters is that the doctor told you, NO strenuous
activity for two months. Shit Kev, it hasn’t even been one week.” Howie was very upset at
the man before him, he was supposed to be the one that followed orders, not disobeyed
them.

Kevin just sat there, not wanting to listen, but he couldn’t help but feel like maybe he had
done wrong. The slight burning in his chest told him so, but he wasn’t about to tell anyone
that. Made him worry if the guys would try to have him not in the next few shows.

“Just don’t do it again Kevin, or next time, we will have security escort you off the stage.”
Howie said with a knowing smile.

That’s when Kevin realized that they would do such a thing, and decided that it wasn’t
worth it. He just made his way out of the dressing room, and towards the busses.

***
Nick looked at the display of his cell phone for about the hundredth time that day. It had
been a whole week since the hospital and the doctor had still not called him back. He
wanted to kick himself for not getting the doctors phone number, or full name for that
matter.

Jenn hadn’t even gone to the arena with them, she was just too sick. Nick had helped her
onto the bus before the show, and placed two of the security guards on there with her. He
just didn’t want to take any chances.

Stepping onto the bus, he was greeting by a smiling Jenn. “Hey honey, how did the show
go tonight?” Jenn asked giving him a hug and a kiss.

Maybe he had been worrying for nothing, he thought to himself. “Wow, you look like you’re
feeling better tonight.”

Jenn and Nick started making their way to the TV area, “When I woke up, I just felt 100%
better. So, enough about me, tell me how the show went.” Jenn asked as she plopped
down on the couch.

Nick sat down next to her, and she leaned into him. “It was great, until Kevin decided to
start dancing. We all wanted to just beat his ass right there on the stage.”

Jenn just shook her head, “That man can be so stubborn at times. Oh, I talked to Nikki and
Zach this evening. They seem to be having fun over at the Littrells’. I just can’t wait till we
get to go see them for Christmas. How bout tomorrow, we go and buy out the Toys-R-Us for
them.” Jenn said with a laugh.

Nick hadn’t seen Jenn this happy in a while, and he didn’t want the moment to end. “Sure,
that sounds like it would be fun. But, um…Brian and Sara are going to be riding on the
other bus tonight. Brian was really pissed at Kev, and doesn’t want to let him out of his
sight. So…that means, that…we…are…ummmm….alone.” Nick had a sly smile across his
face.

“Oh really now, I wonder what we could do, on this bus, all alone….” Jenn said as she
pushed Nick down across the couch. As her lips were pushed against his, all they could
think about was each other. For once, their minds were not thinking of Rick and Kara,
being away from their kids, or the fate of everyone once this was all over. For tonight, it
was all about them.

Chapter 8

"Have no fear! The sex god is here!" AJ announced his arrival, hopping out of his black
Expedition and onto the driveway of Kevin's Kentucky cabin, where everyone would be
spending Christmas.

"Dude, you're trippin'! I've been here for like a half hour." Nick shouted back, holding Nicole
on his hip and walking towards his friend.

"Nicky? A sex God? HA!" Kevin smirked, walking down beside Nick. "That's not what Jenn
says."

"Awww, hey now! Don't drag me into this!" Jenn laughed from where she sat on the porch,
rocking Zach to sleep. "But, uh, y'all are just jealous." She finished with a wink towards Nick.

"Okay, okay!" Howie said, waving his hands to stop the conversation.

"What's the matter, D? Not getting' any lately?" AJ inquired, raising his eyebrows above his
sunglasses and painting a grin across his face.

Howie acted coolly in response, helping AJ gather presents out of the back of his SUV.
However, the Latino was not always the one not to seek revenge. As his tattooed friend
walked up the sidewalk to put his luggage inside, Howie gave him a shove. Laughter erupted
from the group as AJ went flying into a pile of snow, but not before flailing around first.

Howie stood, smiling proudly at his achievement. "That was certainly the sexiest thing I've
ever seen, Mr. God."

"It's on, man." AJ mumbled, brushing snow off of his suitcases.

Kevin stood, digging his hands into his pockets and smiling. It was nice to be home for
Christmas. Well, at least with people he loved. The guys and their families had all made the
decision to stay together for Christmas due to the recent threats from Rick and Kara. They
had thought it unfair to drag their families into this mess and, while it was painful to be away
for Christmas, at least they would be with their 'adopted' family. However, it would be unfair
for Nick, Jenn, Sara, and Brian to be away from their children. So, while they were taking
extra precautions, Nicole, Emily, and Zach would be coming too. Lori was going to try to make
it as well. So far, it seemed to be coming off as very lively and fun.

"Hey Kev, you heard from Bri?" Nick asked, coming back out after helping AJ bring his last
gifts into the cabin.

"Yeah, just a sec ago. He said they'd be here in around ten minutes." Kevin replied, stepping
up onto the porch and rubbing his chest a bit. His injury had gotten better but hadn't fully
healed. God know he was headed towards a speedy recovery though, with the wannabe cast
of ER watching his every move.

"Kev, you alright?" Jenn asked, coming out of the cabin after putting Zach down for his nap.
She had noticed the older man had been rubbing his chest quite a bit lately. All heads
snapped towards him, waiting for his response.

"Goodness y'all! I'm fine!" Kevin grumbled, walking into the living room and sitting down on
the couch.

"Hey, you better get used to it. You know Brian's gonna be on your ass." AJ commented,
making himself a cup of coffee.

"He's been acting really strange lately." Nick said, sitting down on the arm of the chair that
Jenn was occupying.

"He's just stressed with all of this, guys. C'mon, leave him alone." Jenn took up for her friend,
although she thought the same thing.

"Fruit Salad…yummy, yummy…" Howie came down the stairs singing the song, interrupting
the conversation.

"Look guys!" AJ laughed, almost choking on his coffee. "We have one of those Wiggly
dudes."

Howie blushed a bit, not realizing that everyone was listening to his song. "I was upstairs
watching them with Nicole."

"Noooo, I think you want to be one."

"Um, J, how do you even know that it's their song?" Nick asked, half amused.

That's when they heard Brian's Hummer coming up the drive.

"Saved by Brian." Howie laughed as AJ snickered at the group.

~*~*~*~

The cabin was filled with laughter and holiday spirit by sunset. The mindless banter
continued and Kevin had only been scolded once over taking part in over extraneous
activity. He had gotten smacked in the back of the head by Nick for trying to bring in the
Christmas tree. However, one look from the older man and Nick took off running out the door.

Christmas music had been put on and Jenn, Sara, Nick, Nicole, and Howie were all decorating
the tree. Kevin was sitting on the couch still, singing "Jingle Bell Rock", watching his cousin
who sat on the opposite side of the room. He seemed so different, so down. His Brian
would've been dancing around, juggling some ornaments and kissing his wife under the
mistletoe. But he hadn't done any of that. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes anymore and
he hadn't so much as touched any of them affectionately, not even Sara or Emily.

"Hey, where'd AJ go?" Kevin asked as the song ended.

"Making Lori think that he's Santa's gift to women." Nick answered, lifting Nicole to put an
ornament on the tree.

"Hmm, that's one gift I'd want to return if I were her." Kevin contorted his face, making the
group laugh once more.

"Hey… Bri…Um, you wanna bring Emily over here to help?" Sara smiled towards her husband.

"Sar, she's two, she's not going to care." He replied, glancing over at his daughter who stood
in front of Kevin, laughing at the faces he was making at her. A tinge of jealousy ran through
him.

Brian's wife turned back to face the tree, trying to figure out why he wanted to act that way.
He had been stiff and so unlike himself ever since Kevin had come out of the hospital.
Actually, it had been ever since he had told her to leave him alone at the hospital. He
wouldn't touch her anymore. Anyone, for that matter. Sara decided she would have to talk to
him later; he was putting a huge damper on the holiday.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jenn asked Brian, sitting down beside him and watching Nick help
Nicole put the star on the tree.

"Nothing."

"C'mon Bri, you've just been sitting here. That's not like you at all."

"So?"

Nick had been listening to the conversation and was not really happy with the way Brian was
treating anyone. He had kept his mouth shut until now. Something had to be said.

"Hmm," The blonde said, looking behind Brian. "I don't see the stick."

Brian glared in his friend's direction. "Excuse me?"

"Come on Brian. You've been sitting there all night acting like you have a large stick lodged
up your ass." Nick delivered the cold truth, not backing down.

"Nick…" Jenn warned, glancing her eyes towards the kids who were gathered around Kevin
and Sara, the quiet spectators.

"What's up YOUR ass Nick?" The older man was still glaring, more so because he knew if he
unhardened his stare, he might cry. He wasn't even sure what was wrong with him. His eyes
searched the room and found everyone staring back at him. Suddenly, he felt his face flush a
bright red and, trying to find an escape, Brian stood and walked out onto the back porch.

"I'm sorry y'all." Sara said, setting Emily down on the floor and following her husband.

"Hey…" She spoke softly. The only response Brian gave was his breath forming clouds of
smoke in the cold night air. "Aren't you kind of cold?"

"You mean my attitude?" He spoke. She could hear his longing to be cared for, though. He
was beginning to break down.

"Brian, what's REALLY going on?"

Silence.

"Sweetheart…" Sara neared him, running her hand on the back of his neck and into his hair.
It had been so long since she called him that… or any other name. God, she makes it so hard,
Brian thought.

"I just don't want to be close to anyone anymore, Sar." Brian spoke quietly and even through
the dark of the winter night, Sara could tell he was about to cry. It might be good for him this
time, she thought.

"Why, Bri?"

"Because. Because if I get close to anyone, they'll just end up getting hurt when these
people get us. I'll end up getting hurt." He looked up at his wife, taking a deep breath. "I don't
want to hurt, Sar. I don't want anyone else to hurt."

"Baby, that's not going to happen. We're all in this together." She sat beside him, holding his
hands.

"They're after us, Sara. They're not going to stop until they get us…" Brian swallowed, trying
so hard not to cry.

"Hey, it's okay to cry." He could see her smiling gently.

"Not anymore. I don't want to cry anymore. I just…I wanna be h-happy.." But as he spoke the
words, tears began to fall.

"I know, baby." Sara couldn't take it anymore; her heart broke and she hugged him tightly,
crawling into his lap.

"I'm so sorry I ruined Christmas." Brian confessed into her neck, wetting her skin with his
tears.

"Aw, you didn't. It's not even here yet." She leaned into him and nibbled his ear a little, trying
to lighten his mood.

"Sar, that's.. another thing.." Brian breathed deeper this time, feeling a little light headed.

"What?" Sara asked quietly, inhaling his scent.

He pushed her shoulders back so that they were eye to eye. For the first time in weeks, Brian
searched for her heart, lying on the surface of those brown eyes he fell in love with, when
times were so innocent. They were searching his, too, for a heart that was so deep down
now, covered by a brick wall of emotion.

"I…uh…" He paused and looked down. "I cheated on you, Sara. Jenn says I didn't but …I did.
I'm so sorry, I wasn't in my right mind and …I…I've felt so bad about it. That's why…why I can't
make love to you anymore. I felt so dirty about it, so bad for not telling you. I didn't mean to…I
love you, Sara. I love you so much and…"

Sara was crying too now, not because of his confession but, because he had been holding all
of this in. "Brian," She lifted his chin with her finger to see his paled face streaked with tears
that wouldn't stop. "You didn't do it. That wasn't you. That wasn't my Brian. My Brian is sitting
right here, crying in my arms about things he didn't do, wanting someone to love him but he
won't let them."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." She said, smiling and shaking her head. His wife wiped his tears away with her
thumbs. "But if it makes you feel better, I forgive anything you've ever done while you were
there."

"God, I love you." He smiled for the first time and then let out an embarrassed laugh.

Minutes later, they were holding hands and walking back to join the others.

"Wait…" Brian stopped suddenly before they entered the living room.

"What?" Sara's eyes widened, hoping he didn't have another confession to make.

He only look upwards and, following his gaze, Sara saw the mistletoe hanging carelessly
above them. "Oh.." She said, blushing a bit.

"Oh is sooo right." He smirked, kissing his wife more passionately and lovingly than he had
before in the past two years.

"Ew, get a room!" AJ grumbled, passing towards them.

"Sorry, I'm not as classy as you are, Bone."

Brian was back. They could only hope he would stay a while.

Later that night everything had settled down. Everyone sat now, playing with the kids and
enjoying the Christmas air when a knock was heard at the door. Luckily, no one noticed that
Brian and Jenn both had been startled by the noise.

Everyone quickly looked around the room and noticed that the only one missing was Nick.
They then began to wonder why he would knock at the door if that was, after all, him.

Seeing that no one else was getting up from their seats, AJ got up and headed for the door.
Sara noticed as Brian held her a little tighter, and Kevin took notice to Jenn’s hands grasping
the arms of the couch.

As AJ swung open the door, everyone was greeted by the sounds of, “Ho, Ho, Ho!” filling the
room. AJ couldn’t help but laugh at the site that greeted him. It was Nick in the Santa suit,
and it was a funny sight. But he decided to play along for the kids sake.

“Why Santa, welcome.” AJ said as he opened the door wider to let the man in the red suit
enter the house.

“SANTA!!!” The squeal came from Nicole as the little girl flung herself against his legs.

The next few minutes was spent as the kids enjoyed their time with Santa, well Nicole and
Emily did, but Zach seemed to be absolutely terrified. He just sat, pressed against his
mother, not even looking at Santa.

“Hello there Zachary,” Santa said as he came to the chair that Jenn was sitting in. “Were you
a good boy this year?”

The little boy looked up at him for a quick second before he started wailing and grasping
onto his mother.

“Um, Santa,” Jenn started. “I think that Zach is not quite ready for you this year.” She said it
quietly. Nick just gave her a quick nod and turned his attention back to the girls.

Everyone watched as Nick brought the biggest smiles to the girls faces then had been there
in a while. For once in a long time, everyone felt like nothing was wrong.

Santa soon had to leave, much to the girls begging him to stay. It was funny that neither of
them realized that Nick hadn’t been there. The girls gave Santa one last hug, and said
goodbye. Santa also said bye to Zach, but the boy would have none of it as he started crying
again.

“Bye Santa!” Everyone yelled as Santa made his way out the front door.

Jenn quickly stood up, “I think I’m gonna go but Zach down for the night, he’s Mr. Cranky
Pants tonight.” With that Jenn quickly made her way to the bedroom.

She placed Zach in the crib and just stood there watching him for a moment. He had fallen
asleep quickly, but Jenn just couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of him. It had been too long
without him, it was tearing her apart. She jumped and nearly screamed as a hand came down
onto her shoulder.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry honey. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Nick said in a whisper.

Jenn just shushed him and pulled him out of the room with her. “I know you didn’t mean to
scare me. I just wasn’t expecting anyone to come in there.” Jenn leaned into him.

“Are you okay, you looked deep in thought in there.” Nick asked as he began walking back to
the others.

Jenn let out a sigh, “I was just thinking that it’s just been too long that we’ve been away from
the kids. I know its for the best, but still, it hurts.”

“I know, but it will all be over soon. I promise.” Nick said as they made their way into the
living room. Nicole quickly rushed over to her dad.

“Daddy, daddy. Santa was here!” She said as she pulled on his pant leg. Nick scooped her
up into his arms and listened as she told him ALL about it.

Jenn quickly looked around the room and saw that Sara was talking with Kevin on the other
side of the room, while Brian was sitting by himself on the chair. He was staring intently at
Emily as she played with the one toy that Santa had allowed her to open up that night. Jenn
decided to have a quick chat with her friend.

“Hey Bri,” Jenn said as she sat down on the arm of the chair.

“Hey Jenn, did you get Zach off to bed alright?” Brian asked as he let his attention turn to
Jenn.

“Oh yeah, he sleeps like his daddy, that’s for sure.” She let out a laugh. “Um, I wanted to ask
you, I take it you and Sara are better?”

“Yeah, much. I was being an asshole, and that’s putting it nicely. But we talked, and I feel a
lot better.” Brian said as he let his gaze fall onto his wife.

“Well, I’m happy for you. You needed to get in a better mood.” Jenn said as she placed her
hand on his shoulder and brought her face down to his ear. “And don’t be afraid to talk to
me, you know I’m here for you.”

“I know Jenn, I know.” Brian said as he gave her a friendly kiss on the check. Jenn smiled at
him and she got up and walked back over to her husband.

“I’m going to make some snacks right quick. I also think its about bed time for Nikki.” She
whispered to him. He gave a nod and she was off into the kitchen.

Chapter 9


When AJ woke up o­n Christmas morning, he expected to be awoken by kids wanting to open their
presents. Instead, he woke up to the sounds of his wife emptying her stomach into the toilet. AJ threw
off his covers and made his way into the bathroom. His eyes squinted against the bright lights as he
went over and crouched down next to Lori.

"I didn't mean to wake you." Lori said quietly, still hovering over the toilet.

AJ began to rub circles over her back, "Don't worry about that baby, are you okay?"

Lori sucked in a deep breath, as she was about to answer him then began heaving again.

Once she was done she looked over to her husband. “I think I may have caught whatever Jenn has. I
know she’s been sick like this for a while. That’s probably all it is.” She shakily began to stand up, as
AJ grabbed her arm and helped.

AJ hoped that that was all there was too it as he lead her back to bed.

****

“Daddy…” A small voice quietly said. “Daddy…”

Brian slowly opened his eyes and looked into the face of his daughter. A smile played across his lips
as he began to fully awaken. “Morning Sweetheart.”

“Presents Daddy…” Emily said as she squirmed around o­n top of him.

Brian cast a glance over to his wife, she was still sleeping soundly. “Are Nikki and Zach up too?” Brian
asked his daughter.

“Yeah, waiting for you…” She replied as she jumped off of him and onto the floor. She began pulling
o­n his arm, trying to drag him out of bed.

Brian let out a little laugh, “Ok honey, why don’t you go and wait with everyone else. I will wake up
mommy, and we will be out there in a few minutes.”

Emily quickly agreed, “Hurry daddy,” She said with a smile as she ran out of the room.

Brian leaned over and began kissing his wife awake. She let out a small moan as he continued, soon
her eyes were open. “Mornin’”

Sara produced a grin of her own. “That’s a nice way to wake up.”

“I’ll wake you up like that everyday from now o­n if you want me to.” Brian said as he began placing
kisses o­n her once more. He quickly rolled over o­n top of her as their kisses grew more heated. Brian
having momentarily forgotten why he was woken up in the first place. They were both so lost in the
moment neither one of them heard the knock o­n the door.

Nick swung the door open after his knock, “Bri, Em’s getting anxi….” Nick was definitely not expecting
the sight that greeted him. “Oh holy hell!”

That exclamation quickly pulled Sara and Brian out of their little world. Brian quickly rolled off of his
wife, but went too fast and fell off the bed and onto the floor. “Shit!” Brian said out of response.

“Damn Bri,” Nick said covering his eyes.

Brian quickly got his bearings and realized that he was sitting there o­n the floor, clad in his birthday
suit. He quickly looked around and saw that Sara had the sheet wrapped around herself, so he did the
next best thing. He stood up, and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. As he
leaned against the door, he had never felt so embarrassed before in his life.

****

Brian felt like his world was about to end. Nick had immediately ran down and told everyone about
what he had walked in o­n. So as they all sat and watched the kids open all the gifts, the small
snickers were driving him crazy. He decided not to let it get to him though, the huge grin that spread
across Emily’s face made him forget his troubles.

“Mommy, Daddy…look!” Nicole squealed running up to her parents, showing them the toy that she had
in her grasp.

“Wow, that’s a good one! Santa must have thought that you were a good girl this year. Now what
would’ve made him think that?” Nick said with a grin.

“I was a good girl daddy, I was! I was!” She said quickly as she jumped onto his lap.

“I know you were Nikki, don’t listen to your daddy. Just because he was a bad boy when he was your
age, doesn’t mean you‘re a bad girl.” Jenn said as she leaned closer to her daughter.

“That’s right daddy!” She crossed her arms in front of her. “I’m a GOOD GIRL! Unca J even says so.
UNCA JJJJJJJJJJ!!!!!” Nicole quickly yelled out to get his attention.

AJ pulled himself away from his wife and looked over to his god daughter. “Yes Nikki?”

“Tell daddy I’m a good girl.” She said with a huff.

Nick shook his head, not believing what he had started.

“Daddy! She’s a good girl!” AJ defended the girl as she flew into his arms. They both shot Nick a grin.

The youngest Backstreet Boy couldn’t help but smile as well. Nicole was such a perfect combination of
he and Jenn. Nick’s eyes wandered to the floor where Brian was playing with Zach and Emily. So good
to think that things might actually be going well again. It scared him though to think that, well, maybe
things were too good.

Nick quickly dismissed the thought and slid down in the floor to join in playing with new toys.

Sara took in the scene as Nick had been doing. A smile pulled at her lips as she realized that times
were like they used to be only, more people were involved now. The thought though, that more
people were involved now, could also eventually work against them. Just as Nick had done, the
woman pushed the bad thoughts away and evacuated her chair, going to join Lori and Jenn in the
kitchen where, in the words of AJ, they were ‘attempting to make breakfast.’

“Hello hot mama!” Lori called, smiling as Sara sleepily entered the kitchen.

“Excuse me?” She shrieked in a high pitched southern tone.

“We don’t even feel bad for you that you’re tired.” Jenn winked. “We heaaarddd why.”

Sara crinkled her nose towards Jenn. “You really need to stop hanging around Howie. You’re getting
that twitch thing.” She said, sitting o­n a stool, trying helplessly to change the subject.

“Hey! I heard that!” The Latino shot from behind Sara, his cell phone glued to his ear as he vigorously
took notes from his sister o­n how to make a nice Christmas dinner.

“Sorry, winky.” Sara mumbled, smirking as she popped a muffin into her mouth and felt Howie’s glare
o­n the back of her neck. She would apologize later.

“ANYWAY…” Jenn rolled her eyes as she dropped a hot pan of cinnamon rolls onto the counter beside
Lori, who was unsuccessfully cracking eggs and cussing them out.

Just as the word had fallen from her lips though, Jenn was interrupted by quite a group entering
through the kitchen door.

“Where are y’all going?” Sara slid off the stool and sauntered over to them, raising her eyebrow and
looking down. “Okay, y’all aren’t going anywhere with my daughter looking like that!”

Lori raised her head and burst into laughter at the sight before her. Tiny Emily stood at her father’s
feet, unable to move. It appeared as though Brian had covered his little girl in three or four sweaters,
two pairs of pants, her coat and her hat. As her eyes wandered to observe the others, Lori noted that
Jenn’s children, too, were dressed the same way. Nick and Brian, however, were still clad in pajama
pants, shirt and a jacket. She could only hope AJ was upstairs with Kevin, someone who had some
sense.

“We were gonna go play in the snow and then eat breakfast out o­n the heated deck.” Brian spoke up,
seeing nothing wrong with the attire. In fact, he had a curious look about his face.

“Brian! Emily can barely walk!” Sara half laughed, kneeling down in front of the girl and loosening her
jacket. “Alright! You and You…go dress warmer. And I will get the kids ready.” She directed.

“Yes mommy.” Her husband pouted, turning and pushing Nick up the stairs.

“Suck it up, Littrell.” Sara smiled, smacking his butt.

“Oh God y’all! NASTY!” Jenn moaned from the other side of the room.

“I agree.” Lori made a face that they were sure she had learned from AJ.

“You guys! I can’t hear.” Howie interrupted the festivities from where he sat at the table, the phone still
glued to his ear.

Sara left the kitchen, jokingly mocking Howie and leading the three children into the living room. This
time, he laughed and only threw a seat cushion at her in response.

Jenn smiled. Maybe things would be okay. She turned her to ask Lori where AJ was just in time to
catch the look that crossed her friend’s face. Lori was taking the bacon out of the microwave when a
wave of nausea hit her. In no time, she was up the stairs and in the bathroom.

Jenn stood still, a look of confusion crossing her face. Did Lori have what she had?

~*~*~*~*~


Kevin leaned back in his chair as he drank the last bit of coffee in small sips. It was good to be back in
a familiar place without having to worry about tight security or pleasing everyone else. Most of all
though, they weren’t having to hide their situation.

The thought of Rick and Kara made Kevin shift uncomfortably. It had seemed strange though, this
weekend of normality. Brian and Jenn had been doing quite well also. Kevin closed his eyes slowly
and then opened them again, feeling a slight pain move across his chest. The man shifted in his chair
again, willing it to go away.

“You alright?” Howie inquired, stepping out onto the deck, setting the phone down o­n the table.

“Yeah.” Kevin replied, licking his lips. “Just healing, I guess.”

“Mmm. So, I just got off the phone with momma. Dinner should be really good.”

Kevin smirked. Howie was so proud of his new found cooking abilities.

“I’m sure Nick will tell you what he thinks.” He replied.

“Always.” Howie let out a quiet laugh as he sat down beside Kevin and took the last biscuit.

“Isn’t it good to see everyone happy again?”

“I was just thinking that.” Kevin gave one of his famous half-smiles, watching the scene before him
from behind the screened glass.

Jenn and Nicole were building a ‘snowgirl’ while Nick took Zach upon his shoulders to make a face in
the snowman. Brian and Sara were a few feet away, making snow angels with Emily. Kevin and
Howie both laughed as Brian was still happily making snow angels when Emily and Sara came up,
pelting him with snowballs. All hell broke loose as snowballs went off target and hit the Carters as
well. Kevin couldn’t help but wonder how long this great feeling would last.

His thoughts were interrupted by Howie’s concerned voice.

“Is AJ still upstairs with Lori?” He asked.

Kevin’s gaze slowly settled upon Howie with a thoughtful look. “I guess so. Hm, I’ll go check o­n them.”

The taller man stood up easily, making sure not to hurt himself. He walked into the living room and
was about to climb the stairs when it caught his eye again.

That lone present underneath the tree. Labeled for no one. Simply just…there.

It being a box, he had opened it while everyone was being rowdy, thinking maybe he could figure out
who it was for. Inside was a watch. An ugly watch, in Kevin’s opinion, but he wasn’t going to say
anything. It had to be someone’s in the room. He had set it down against the trunk of the tree, deciding
to question about it later.

But something gave him an uneasy feeling about that gift.

Kevin Richardson searched his mind for what irked him. Then he remembered…a memory that shake
his legs from beneath him, landing him to sit o­n the bottom step.

Tick Tick Tick…

The watch had come from Rick and Kara.

Chapter 10

The mood was somber throughout the whole cabin. Everyone had woken up early to get
everything packed, today they would all be heading back o­n the road. Breakfast that morning
wasn’t filled with the chatter that had filled the table for that past week,

There was silence.

Once breakfast was over, everyone went back to their rooms. Nick and Jenn had been arguing
all morning, and neither one was very happy with the way things were going.

"Nick, I’m staying here, with the Littrells. I don’t wanna stay away from our kids any longer." Jenn
stated heatedly.


Nick placed his hand o­n his forehead and let out a deep sigh. "I realize why you wanna stay, but
I thought you understood why they are staying here and we are going."

"I don’t wanna run anymore Nick, I’m tired of it. I just wanna be with my babies." Jenn started
crying at this point. “They’re growing up, Nick. And we’re missing it all.”

"Don’t you think I wanna be with them too, but we just cant." Nick stood next to his wife, who was
sitting o­n the side of the bed with her hands to her face as the tears fell. "You just need to
understand that you cant stay here."

Jenn’s head shot up and she looked at him with red eyes. "Well I don’t want to understand
anymore. I don’t understand why I can’t just stay here while you guys continue with the tour."

Nick now sat down next to her, "Jenn, there’s no way around this, you are going with us."

They both stared at each other for what seemed like hours. finally, Jenn quickly stood up and
headed for the door. Nick flinched as she slammed the door closed.

~* 2 Days Later *~


It was December 30 now and Jenn sat in Nick’s dressing room, quietly waiting until he returned
from the concert. The silence in the room was such a contrast to all the static that was being
produced in her head. She had such a strange feeling today. Anxiety, that’s what it felt like. It
was as though she was anticipating something that made her nervous but, what could that be?
Maybe she was just getting sick again.

“Great.” Jenn rolled her eyes and spoke into the silence. The others should be coming back
soon, she thought, checking her watch. Maybe she should’ve joined Sara in watching from the
audience. As soon as she bent to grab a magazine though, her head began to pound and Jenn
knew she had made the right choice in staying where she was.

The woman had just leaned back o­n the couch to read the material when commotion was heard
in the main backstage lobby. In was less than a minute before a sweaty Nick Carter came
bounding through the door.

“How you feelin’?” The blonde bent down to kiss his wife’s head and smirked at her.

“Fine.” She spoke stiffly. They hadn’t been o­n the best terms ever since returning from
Christmas break.

Jenn watched as he took off his wardrobe and stood before her in a wife beater and jeans. She
closed her eyes for a moment, finding his face reminded her too much of Zach’s. It had been so
hard to leave the Littrells’ house after Christmas; she could still hear the cries of her children in
the back of her mind. It made her heart twist in pain and more than once had she thought about
leaving during the night to go back to Kentucky. Sitting there now, she wasn’t sure what had
stopped her.

“Jenn, are you alright?” He inquired, sitting down o­n a stool in front of her.

“Do I look okay?”

“Well, no…” Nick looked down at his hands, knowing it was his fault.

“Then I must not be.” Her voice was void of any commotion, her eyes cold as she found his.
Jenn wasn’t sure either why she was still so angry with him. She understood his reasoning,
maybe it was just the fact that she didn’t WANT to understand. How could he understand what
she was going through, though? Had he even tried?

“Baby, what can I do..”

“You can’t. I want to go back with my kids. I want to be normal again. There’s no damn normality
in this life, Nick!” Jenn couldn’t believe that those words were spilling out of her mouth but, she
couldn’t stop them.

Nick stood slowly, his eyes flickering with hurt. She almost immediately regretted the words she
had said. For some reason though, Jenn couldn’t bring herself to apologize.

“Are…are you saying..” He struggled with the idea.

“That I want to be away from you and this damn freak show? I think maybe I am!” Tears started to
spill out of her empty blue-turned-gray eyes. Why was she doing this? She turned her head and
bit her lip, knowing she caused that look of confusion and hurt that was crawling upon Nick’s
face.

“Then go. Or, you know, better yet, I’ll go!” His voice was weak and breaking with tears. He was
so scared of losing her. He didn’t want to be alone. It hadn’t been until he met her that he
realized he had never wanted to be alone again. And now, now he might be faced with that
loneliness again? Without his wife and his children? He couldn’t take it.

But he couldn’t let o­n to the others that anything was wrong. They all had their own things to
worry about. So, Nick Carter stood at the corner and listened to his brothers, laughing and
joking right around the next corner. His chest flattened and his heart began to flutter back to it’s
normal pace. Angry hands wiped away fearful tears.

The blonde entered the main room, running a hand through his blonde mess of hair. Sitting
down, his blue eyes took in the room’s surroundings. Kevin and AJ were playing ping pong while
waiting for their bus. Howie was sitting with a group of the dancers, chatting away about
performing. Then, of course, there were Brian and Sara. The man was sitting upright in his chair
with his wife laying o­n the other one with her head in his lap. Nick averted his attention to his
hands, twisting his wedding ring on and off.

Then, a laugh brought him out of his little world.

It was Brian’s laugh. Nick almost immediately felt a pang of jealousy shoot through him and, as
much as he tried to control his emotions, they were running too high already. How come Brian
never laughed with him anymore? Weren’t they known as best friends? Nick almost snorted out
loud. Not since Brian had gotten married and had a kid, they weren’t.

The young man shook his head. Why wasn’t he happy that Brian had found, well, happiness?
Maybe because he had just lost his own. His eyes watched intently as the lovers ‘flirted’ with
each other as though they were newlyweds. Dammit, he had been married a shorter time than
they had. What had happened to he and Jenn? His heart began to pound with the simple thought
of her.

Control it, Carter. His mind seemed to whisper before it was screaming at him. Brian began to
tickle her and Sara leaned up to kiss him in between laughter. That was it.

“You two make me absolutely SICK!” Nick growled as he sprung from his chair and passing Brian’
s chair with a sharp mood in his step.

Sara leaned up and her eyes questioned Brian for what was wrong with Nick. Her husband,
though, had no idea what had caused the sudden outburst but, realizing there were several
other pairs of eyes questioning him around the room, he needed to do something about it.

“Sweetheart, maybe you should…”

“Yeah, I’m going.” Brian patted his wife’s leg and lifted himself off of the chair. Walking around
the corner, he followed the same path Nick had just moments before.

Brian stopped, peering out of the slender window o­n the back door. There, he saw his best
friend, sitting lonely o­n the steps of their tour bus.

“Hey…” Brian whispered, walking outside, forgetting that he was clad only in a wife beater and
jeans in the January night air. He dug his hand into his pockets and advanced towards Nick, who
was making a feeble attempt to ignore him.

“What?” The tone was as steely and cold as the air surrounding them.

“What’s going o­n?”

“When did you start caring?” Nick stood and stepped down from the steps, walking away a bit as
Brian leaned against the bus.

“What’re you talking about, Nick? I’ve always cared.” Brian narrowed his eyes and shook his
head in confusion.

“What the hell ever, Brian!” Nick tossed his head back and threw a demonic laugh into the air.
“Come o­n, Bri, who are you kidding? You haven’t really cared like you used to since you’ve
become Mr. Family Man…”

“Nick! That’s not fair! You know how you feel about your wife and children. Especially right
now…”

“Obviously, I don’t according to Jenn.”

“What’s wrong, Nick? What is this really all about?” Brian’s forehead creased in question.

Nick shut his eyes, tears becoming icy with the winter wind. Turning back to face his friend,
there was nothing but an icy stare left in those blue windows.

“Don’t even TRY to get into our business this time! I already have to share my wife with you
because she thinks you hung the damn moon! You’re not going to get in the middle of this one,
Brian.” His anger was being taken out o­n an innocent bystander but, Nick couldn’t contain it
anymore. He just kept thinking of more and more reasons that he was jealous of Brian.

“Oh shut up, Nick!” Brian couldn’t take anymore of this pity party. He had watched Jenn and Nick
go down hill ever since Christmas. It was like their communication was blocked. The blonde had
pushed it now, though. “Maybe she comes to me because you don’t take the damn time to
understand her or what she’s going through. You only worry about what YOU want, Nick. How
YOU can keep everyone safe. She doesn’t need a protector as much as she needs someone to
love her right now. Someone for her to love.”

Nick’s jaw clenched tightly. His emotions ran like wildfire through his veins. He wanted to hate
Brian so much for everything he had just said but, then again, all of it was true and that just
pissed him off even more. Nick Carter narrowed his eyes and took on a quick pace towards the
older man.

The blonde grabbed Brian by his shirt and raised his fist. Then, he saw it. There in Brian’s eyes,
was everything that Nick had wanted to be as a man. A great husband, an awesome father, and
overall, a nice person. Then, there was the reflection.

A man who was none of that. Nick Carter, the beast, out of control. His hand loosened it’s grip
from the material of Brian’s shirt and quietly, he climbed into the bus.

Where Nick Carter, the boy, cried himself to sleep.

Chapter 11

Normally when the tour bus pulls into Orlando everyone is full of excitement. However, this
time that was not the case. After Nicks blew up at Brian, the mood on their bus was extremely
tense. Brian had gone back into the arena and Sara just knew that something had gone
down. But Brian decided to be stubborn himself and didn't share what had occurred between
the two best friends.


Nick had even slept in the main area of the bus, just slept on the couch still in his after show
clothes. Sara had woken up first and found him there. She looked at him for a second and
could see that something really was troubling the young man. Looking around she found a
blanket and set it over him, then continued her way to the kitchen area.

She heated up some brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts for her and Brian, then headed back to
their room. She set the plate on the night stand on Brian's side of the bed and gently shook
him awake. "Mornin' hun, I made breakfast for you."

Brian slowly opened his eyes and looked at his wife, "Oh, mornin'" He said sleepily. He
looked over to his plate and let out a laugh. "So, you made breakfast, looks like you strained
yourself there."

Sara looked at Brian with her mouth dropped open, "Fine, I'll just eat your too. Lets see you
brown your own pop tarts as well as I can." She finished with a smile as she snatched his
plate up.


Brian not really wanting to have to make his own pop tarts decided to give in. "Well if you put
it that way, no one can toast quite like you." He did his big grin.

"Oh just hush and eat your pop tarts, Littrell!" Sara said as she handed him back his plate.


***

It was about 10 am when AJ was rudely awakened by his cell phone blaring in his ear. He
quickly picked it up and looked at his caller id. He was happy that he saw it was Lori, but then
wondering why she was calling earlier than her normal lunch-time call.

He answered raspily, “Hey baby.”

“Hey yourself.” Lori said through the phone line. “Sorry to call you so early, but I just couldn’t
wait till one.”

“No problem, what’s going o­n?” AJ asked as he rubbed his hand over his face.

Suddenly Lori sounded nervous, “Well, um...gosh, I don’t know how to say this.” She let out a
shaky breath.

AJ quickly sat up in bed, not used to hearing that tone in Lori’s voice, “What is it, is
something wrong?” He said this loud enough to get Kevin’s attention.

Lori quickly put his worries aside, “No, it’s nothing wrong. It’s just that, well....we’re gonna
have a baby!” She said delightfully.

AJ couldn’t even say anything, he just sat there, frozen in his position. Kevin saw the look o­
n his face and began to get worried. “Jay, is everything alright?”

“AJ, AJ...are you still there??” Lori asked.

AJ blinked a few times, “We...we’re gonna have a...a...a baby?”

Lori let out a laugh, “Yes baby, we’re gonna have a baby.”

AJ quickly looked at Kevin, “We’re gonna have a baby!”

Kevin quickly pulled AJ into a hug and patted the young man on the back. “That’s great
Bone!”

AJ pulled away from the older man and began running through the rest of the bus proudly
letting everyone know of his news.

***

Once the busses pulled into the hotel at 5pm, AJ was quick to share his news with the others
on the other bus. Of course everyone was excited, but the tension between Brian and Nick,
and Nick and Jenn was very obvious. No one wanted to ruin AJ’s happy mood, so they all put
on happy faces and imagined everything was normal.

Jenn was the first to say something, “Oh Jay, that’s wonderful news! I knew you and Lori
would get there eventually. You’re going to be a great father.” She walked up to him and
gave him a big hug. Everyone else pretty much said the same things and soon AJ was
running off to his room to call Lori to let her know that everyone knew of their big news.

Jenn and Nick shared quick glances, not really wanting to speak to one another. Jenn quickly
let out a huff and briskly made her way into the hotel. Nick rolled his eyes and headed back
into the bus to get a few things, trying to bide his time.

Brian and Sara decided to leave the two alone for now, and headed inside the hotel along
with Kevin and Howie. “Do you guys know what’s going on between those two?” Howie
asked.

Brian just looked down then with a shake of his head began, “They haven’t been the same
since our little Christmas getaway. I don’t really think any of us should get in the middle of
that.”

Sara grabbed his hand and held it tight, happy that they were actually getting together in
these hard times. She hoped that Jenn and Nick would work through this.

“Maybe the start of a New Year will change their tune.” Kevin said with some hope to his
voice as they approached the elevators. “What are you two planning for tonight?” Kevin
asked Brian and Sara.

Brian and Sara exchanged brief smirks, “Well, I’m planning on taking Sara out on the beach
for the fireworks tonight. We’re are going to head out there in about an hour.”

Kevin gave a nod, “Sounds like some fun for you two.

***

Jenn was just sitting on the bed, trying to keep the tears from falling. She had felt so lonely
that night, in the bed all alone. She knew that she had been a bit at fault for that, but still,
Nick should have slept in their room with her. Just the thought of being home, in Orlando,
and knowing that their kids were hours away, was just tearing at her soul.

Jenn pulled the blankets up close to her chin, wanting to forget all that has happened to her
recently. The restlessness she felt from last night was catching up to her, and she was
quickly asleep.

She woke up some time later, she was guessing that she had been asleep for a few hours.
Tossing the covers aside, she looked around the dark room. Reaching over and flicking on
the lights, she blinked a few times. She felt anger wash over her when she saw that Nick had
not come to their room.

Since they were going to be at this hotel for almost a week, Jenn began to do some of her
unpacking. As she was unpacking she came across a few items that the hotel had left in their
room for them. There were many items for celebrating New Years, which Jenn had
completely forgot that this was New Years night. The bottle of champagne that she came
across she just knew she was going to have some of. A little bit may calm her nerves, she
thought.

She removed the cork and pulled herself out a glass. Just as she was about to begin
pouring, the door swung open. Looking over she saw that Nick had just entered. He didn’t
even glance her way and entered the bathroom. ‘Bastard’ Jenn thought.

She stared at the door for a minute, then finally began to pour herself a glass of the
champagne. Just as she was about to take a sip, Nick reentered the room. This time glancing
at her, “Couldn’t even wait one more hour for midnight.” The tone in his voice was
condescending.

Before even responding, Jenn thought about how she had slept for so long. That just pissed
her off more cause she was so sick of being sick. “Damnit Nick, can’t you just not bother me
right now.”

Nick quickly made his way over to her and grabbed the bottle himself, reaching over he
grabbed a glass of his own and began to pour the champagne. He also grabbed one of the
party hats and placed it on top of his head. They both stared at each other for a long time,
glasses in hand, as if waiting for the other to drink first.

Jenn brought the drink up to her lips first, with Nick following close behind. Both of them
quickly gulping down the contents.

Suddenly Jenn’s glass slipped from her hands, shattering on the floor. Nick brought his
attention to her at the sound, only to see her eyes roll into the back of her head as her body
crumpled to the ground. Nick went to reach out for her, only to feel himself also falling to the
ground.

He tried to figure out what was going on, but everything in his mind was swimming. As he
continued to lose his fight against unconsciousness he heard the door to the room opening.
Then too his horror, as his vision became even more blurry, he saw a face that looked
exactly like his.

Chapter 12

“Are you going to be able to make it?” Brian’s forehead creased with worry. A sudden wave of
nausea had just seemed to hit his wife. Hard.

They had been at the beach since 7 that night, having a great time messing around with each other,
forgetting their situation for a few moments in time. Things seemed to be going nicely for the couple
up until around 11 o’clock rolled around. Sara’s face had washed with a shade of pale and she had
shut her eyes tight, hoping Brian wouldn’t notice. As the hour rolled on, however, it became more
obvious that she wouldn’t make it until midnight without being sick.

Now, Brian wouldn’t leave her alone. Although he had said nothing, the man was almost sure that
Jenn’s sickness had been caused by something having to do with Rick and Kara. If they had done
something to Sara, he would kill himself for not saying something in the first place.

“Yeah Bri, I’m fine. If you wanna wait down here…” Sara held on to the railing as she climbed the
steps to the building. “I won’t be long.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Sar.” He rolled his eyes towards his stubborn wife, pressing the button to the
elevator and stepping in. “Besides, the fireworks will be nice from our balcony. Maybe…make some
little fireworks of our own.”

Brian wiggled his eyebrows as he lowered his head to gently kiss his wife’s neck, a soft attempt to
ease her nausea. Sara leaned her head away from his and softly played with the curls in the back of
his hair, almost able to enjoy the moment before the sick feeling hit her again. As luck would have
it, the elevator doors slid open at the same time and she burst from his grasp and turned the corner
down the hall and to their room, letting a small word of apology escape her lips.

Running a hand across his face, Brian followed his wife’s path. He had just found their door when
his cell phone began to ring. After a few seconds of digging in his pocket trying to find the object, he
pulled it out to find Nick’s name flashing across the screen. The man’s finger brushed over the
receive button twice, contemplating whether to answer it or not. Maybe Nick had come to his
senses, wanted to apologize. Then again, what Nick had to say could ruin Brian’s whole night.

Brian Littrell entered the hotel room and laid his phone down on the table.

Unanswered.

Without another thought, he traveled the length of the room and open the balcony doors and then
halfway back to the bathroom to check on his wife.

He wouldn’t find that there was a message left on his phone for at least ten more minutes.

----

“Bri.” Sara called into the kitchenette where Brian was gathering glasses and the champagne bottle
to take outside.

“Yeah? You okay?”

“Yessss.” She growled. “I was just going to let you know you have a message on your phone.”

“Oh. Well, Nick called earlier and I didn’t answer. Go ahead and check it for me.” Brian called to
her, scouring the cabinets for crackers that might coat his wife’s stomach.

Suddenly though, Sara appeared at the door with a horror stricken look painted across her face. “Br-
Bri..” That’s when he noticed her body trembling slightly with what seemed to be fear.

“Baby, what…” He went over to calm her when she held out a shaky hand towards him. In the hand
was his cell phone. Whatever Nick had said had really shaken Sara up and he would sure as hell
kick Nick’s ass tomorrow. Wrapping one arm around his wife, Brian pressed the replay button and
listened to what his ‘friend’ had to say.

But the voice didn’t belong to Nick. The voice made Brian’s heart shrink in fear, his blood curdle
with anxiety and the arm that he held his wife with become more protective than ever before.

“Hello pretty boy. It’s almost 12 o’clock. Time is running out. Do you know where your loved ones
are? Tick..Tick…”

The voice gave a small laugh full of hatred and abruptly clicked off the phone. Brian caught the
breath that was stuck in his chest and swallowed the sour taste in his mouth.

“Stay here, honey. I…I’m going to…g-go check on…N-nick.” He headed for the nearby door when
he realized Sara wasn’t letting go of him. His head snapped back toward her.

Those brown eyes pleaded, screamed at him not to leave her alone. Brian was torn. He knew Sara
shouldn’t be by herself but, Nick and Jenn. Something was wrong there.

“Okay, come on, but hold on…tightly to me.”

They quickly walked down the hall to where Nick and Jenn were staying, the room furthest away
from the Littrells’. On the way there, they had run into AJ, who picked up the smell of fear
surrounding the couple and followed them, believing that if there was something behind the Carters’
door, that they couldn’t handle it alone.

Brian knocked on the door of 508 twice before opening it himself. Strangely, it was unlocked,
making him feel all the more queasy. The three walked into the room and immediately sensed in
the air that things were not right at all.

That’s when AJ saw the shattered glasses on the floor. And what he saw next made him have to sit
in the chair closest to him.

Drops of blood on the bedroom floor stained the cream colored carpet.

Sara covered her mouth, obviously disturbed by the scene, and turned to head for their bathroom.

Brian stood still, swallowing, taking it all in. They were gone. Nick and Jenn had been taken by
those bitches. The sudden release of the tight grip on his hand brought him back to reality.

“I should’ve answered the goddamn phone!” The southerner’s voice sliced the silence with
harshness.

“C’mon Bri. We’ve…we’ve g-gotta check other places. M-maybe t-they went to g-get the first aid kit
off of the b-bus.” AJ struggled to find his voice.

“Sara!” Brian called to his wife, still shaky from the appearance of the room that should’ve been
holding his two of his closest friends.

“Yeah.. I’m coming. S-sorry…” The woman emerged from the bathroom looking more ghostly than
Brian had ever seen her.

“Maybe you should go ba-”

“Shut up, Brian. Let’s go.” She grabbed his hand and they were out.

The harsh January air had seemed to change since they had been out on the beach just an hour
before. It was almost as though the weather had changed with the mood. Something frightening,
fearful, and anxious wafting in the air.

In their hearts though, they all held a desperate hope that everything was okay. They were all lying
to themselves.

10...

The crowd of people on the beach were beginning to count down.

9...

Sara stopped for a moment, dizziness hitting her, hard.

8...

Brian slowed down, feeling Sara stop. She doubled over in nausea. AJ stopped behind her,
concerned for her health.

7...

Brian’s blue eyes went between AJ and Sara and the bus less than ten feet away. Lights were on.
Maybe everything was okay.

6...

“GO BRIAN!” Sara screamed at him.

“I can’t go without you!”

“Then…don’t go.” She couldn’t lose him again.

5...

He went back and lifted her into his arms, praying his legs wouldn’t give out. It would be their luck.

4...

“Put me down, Brian. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“You need medicine. On the bus.”

Yes, that’s why they would go to the bus. Nothing was wrong.

3...

Steady pattering on the pavement. Heavy breathing appearing as clouds of smoke hanging in the
air.

2...

“They’re okay. Everything’s okay. Everyone’s okay. You just need medicine, baby.” Brian mumbled
to himself under his breath.

AJ ran to the front to open the door for the couple.

1...

“Happy New Year, pretty boy.” The laugh would be etched in his mind forever. “Boom.”

Chapter 13

Brian felt Sara drop from his arms but he couldn't get enough blood in his brain to gather her
up again and run for help. In fact, he couldn't do anything but stare. And staring, was exactly
what he didn't need to do right now.

"Shit.." He heard AJ gasp from behind him.

“Aww, are you not glad to see me? I sure am glad to see you...pretty boy!” Rick snarled at
them. The odd thing was that he was just standing there, just staring at them.

"I think you dropped something, lover." He continued, watching Brian's eyes become colder.
Rick stepped forward to the woman lying on the ground, gagging on God knows what.

"Don't touch her." AJ stepped forward, finding his voice just long enough to defend his
friend, but not gaining enough strength to move.

“And what do you think you can do about it, Freak!” Rick said loudly. AJ couldn’t believe that
all the people passing by hadn’t heard any of this. AJ went to answer but stopped when he
heard a heart wrenching cry come from inside.

“Oh God, Nick...” Brian said in a mere whisper, unable to bring his voice any louder. Sara had
been able to stop her heaving, and stood back up beside Brian. She was swaying a bit, but as
the sound of Nick’s cries grew more frequent she couldn’t think of anything else she wanted
to do then get on that bus.

However, AJ was the first one to make his move onto the bus. Pushing past Brian, Sara, and
then Rick he made his way into the bus.

"AJ.." The words slid off of Brian's pale lips and into the warm night air. The fireworks that
popped into the sky shed light of his snowy white face. For a moment, everything around him
was a blur and it would be the sound of his wife puking that shook him again. Slowly, he
turned his head to look at her and then he looked back at Rick.

'Why was he just god damn staring?' Brian swallowed as the thought entered his mind. What
to do now was the question at stake. Inside, were two of his brothers and one of his best
friends. Outside were two of his other brothers and his other best friend, his wife. And his
daughter.

A picture of Emily pushed it's way through to his brain, just long enough for tears to well up in
his eyes. Nick and Jenn's children were out there too. The outside of this was so much better
than the inside. But Brian Littrell knew, that either way, he wouldn't make it out of this alive.
And neither would anyone else.

"What's it gonna be Littrell? Hmm, who do you love more?" Rick's voice taunted him.

Brian squeezed his eyes shut for a quick prayer, and then looked into Sara’s eyes. Her eyes
always told him everything, and this time they told him to go inside the bus. Grabbing her
hand he made his way passed the man that had plagued his dreams for so long.

Nothing could’ve prepared the two for the sight that greeted them. Nick and Jenn were both
hap-hazardly placed on the floor of the bus, cuts adorning various places of their bodies. AJ
was also laid out along side of Jenn and Nick, Kara was standing over his prone form.

When Kara turned to the couple standing in the doorway she had an evil smirk on her face.
“He wasn’t invited to this little party.” She was directing her words to Rick.

As Rick and Kara had an argument over this situation, Brian and Sara made their way to their
friends. They were both so focused on their friends, that they didn’t even notice that the bus
was in motion.

"Can't...breathe..." Nick's grey eyes found Sara's and hoped that she would understand.

The brunette turned her head to find that AJ had fallen across Nick's torso, dead weight
causing the blonde to have even more trouble pumping air into his deflating lungs.

Carefully, she rolled AJ off of Nick and onto his side, in the recovery position, hoping he
would awake soon. Her attention then focused back on Nick now. His breathing was growing
stronger but his eyes were drooping and there was a glazed look about them.

"Stay with me, Nick." She pleaded, pushing his sweaty hair back only to find that blood washed
her hand. Her body became lighter and lighter until she couldn't hold herself up anymore.
Sara crawled over to the nearest trashcan and made it in just enough time to empty herself
again

Brian's hands became clammy as he became uncomfortable with the shade of pale that Jenn
had taken on. 'Not again, please God, not again.' He thought, closing his eyes to block out
reality. He quickly opened them back up when he heard Rick’s sinister laugh.

“Doesn’t this look familar, well, almost. Last time I think it was her taking care of you.” Rick
said as he approached them.

Brian suddenly faced the offending man, “What in the fuck did you do to them??!!” Brian
almost backed away after being so forceful. He almost didn’t believe that he had said that.

“My, my, aren’t you forceful tonight.” Rick said as he grabbed Brian by the front of his shirt,
and jerked him up. “I have a feeling you won’t be like that for long.”

Sara gasped at the sight before her, not wanting to believe that this was all happening. She
began wondering if it was because of them that she was throwing up, but she didn’t think
about it for long before she was heaving into the trash can again.

Nick was still sobbing as he tried to get a look around the room. Everything was so blurry, but
he could hear the voices of Brian and Rick. All that was on his mind was locating his wife.
“Jenn...” He tried to yell out, but it only came out as a harsh whisper.

Rick turned his attention to Nick, still holding onto the smaller blonde. “Isn’t that pathetic,
your friend over there. Not even able to do anything for himself, or his wife. You know, he
didn’t even put up a fight.”

Brian was trying to pull out of the mans grip, but it was useless. “What did you do to them?!”
Brian asked again.

Rick looked to Brian once again, “I guess they just can’t hold their liquor.” Rick laughed loudly
after saying this.

Kara came over to Sara and grabbed the weak woman. Sara couldn’t even put up a fight, he
body was totally drained. “You’re coming with me honey.” Kara said as she began to drag her
off to another room.

At seeing this, visions of what happened to Sara the last time she was dragged off to another
room filled his mind. When those men took her into that room, and then he...he...

The thought was too much for him to remember, and he let out a loud sob. “NO! You can’t do
this!”

"Oh, but why can't I, cowboy?" Rick gave a toothy grin, that familiar stench on his breath made
Brian want to hurl.

"Don't call me that you fucker!" Brian winced as the man growled the pet name that Sara had
given him when they first started dating.

However, before Rick was able to retaliate over Brian’s outburst to him, Kara interrupted
them. “Holy Shit Rick! How much of that stuff did you give her??!” She was staring at Jenn.

Brian turned his attention to Jenn, and he felt his heart stop at the sight that greeted him.
Jenn was having a full blown seizure.

Chapter 14


Rick’s grip was released on Brian and the Backstreet Boy took a step back to catch his
breath.

“Oh my God! What’d you do to her?” Brian gasped, hunching over in attempt to gain more
oxygen.

“Hush darling.” Kara came over to rub his back in a soothing way.

He quickly jerked away and from the foreign touch and stood just short of where Jenn
quivered on the floor. A feeling of panic rose in his throat and he had to fight to keep it
from attacking him.

His blue eyes shut out the world, remembering Jenn’s voice.

“One night, Brian, one night you…you had these…convulsions. And it scared me…so
badly. I thought I was going to lose you. I didn’t want to lose you Bri, I DON’T want to lose
you. Don’t leave. Please don’t leave.” She cried.

It had been a night when neither of them could sleep. One night right after the incident.
Sometime when their therapist said it would be good to talk about it. Brian had felt so bad
for scaring her.

“I wasn’t going to leave. I can’t lose you either.” He whispered the words now, standing
there, just as he had the night when Jenn had told him.

“Bribear…”

Damn, here comes that bitch. Brian thought to himself, fidgeting with his hands as he tried
to sort out the things that were drowning his brain.

“Stop it! Stop…calling me..that…” The man stepped over Nick and pushed Rick’s kneeling
form away from Jenn. “Jenn, sweetheart? Can you hear me?”

His heart sunk as her blue eyes reached his, void of any emotion, any life.

“Jenn…” Nick’s raspy voice sounded from the floor behind Brian and his head snapped to
look behind him. Nick’s eyes found Brian’s. They were wet with fresh tears and the older
man saw that his best friend was struggling to bring a hand out to his wife. Swallowing,
Brian took Nick’s hand and connected it with Jenn’s, who had seemed to calm a bit. But
her eyes were drooping closed again.

“No, hang on girl. Please hang on.” The Kentuckian pleaded.

Her eyes gave him one last look. A look of hope. For a moment, Brian almost believed she
was going to grant him his request. Then, Jenn closed them again and they didn’t snap
back open. She had fallen back into the world of darkness.

“Damn it.” Brian cussed, realizing that Nick was just staring at his wife, oblivious to his
surroundings. Therefore, he was no help to Brian.

AJ concerned him as well. The tattooed man hadn’t even flinched since he had been
knocked out. Suddenly, Brian was overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness. His thoughts
were occasionally broken with the loud roars of people celebrating the new year and
fireworks lighting up the dim setting of the bus, casting a shadow on the drawn figures of
the people he loved.

But there was one person that was no where to be found. The one he should’ve noticed
the most.

“Where the hell is Sara, you sick bastard?!” Brian was back on his feet in no time, a rush of
adrenaline shooting through his veins.

“You don’t talk to me like that, you fag!” Rick pushed him down with one hard push,
connecting Brian’s head with the hard floor.

His vision was blurred when he stood and noticed Kara taking off in one direction. The
direction of the bedrooms in the back of the bus. He dizzily took off behind her.

The small privacy door was closed to the bedroom.

“SARA!” Brian took his fists and weakly beat on the door. It was his responsibility, as a
husband and best friend, to take care of the woman that was being held inside that room.
Inside the room with…that fucking bitch.

“Bri…Bri, I…I’m alright.”

She was being forced to say it. He could tell by the quiver in her voice. The voice that was
usually so confident, was definitely lying to him now.

“No you’re not!” He cried.

That’s when he heard her gagging. Worse than he had ever heard her before when she
was sick. Or any other time.

A crash would silence all noise withheld inside the room.

Brian slid down against the wall with tears streaming down his tired face. It was his turn to
surrender.

If he could only figure out how.
--------------------------



Staring into the room, Kevin could hardly believe his eyes. A bottle of champagne lay on
it's side, contents spilled all across the floor. Glass, shattered in the center of the room.
But it was the blood on the floor that caused Kevin's stomach to turn.

Repressing the urge to vomit, he slowly backed out of the room. Backing up against the
wall, he put his hands up to his mouth and let out a sob.

"Oh god, this can't be happening!" He scanned the hallway and found it empty. He fumbled
in his pocket for his cell phone. As he pulled it out he noticed how bad his hands were
shaking.

Kevin slid down to the floor as he placed a phone call to his bodyguard. He was hardly able
to get a word out as he told the man on the other line the situation. When Kevin hung up
his phone, he just stared ahead at the door to Nick and Jenn's room

Moments later a disheveled looking Howie came stumbling out of his room, cell phone in
hand. "Please tell me this isn’t true!" Howie begged the older man in front of him. When
Kevin didn't answer him and just continued to stare at the door, Howie decided to check
the damage himself.

Once Howie walked into the room dread filled him. Much like Kevin, the sight of blood
turned his stomach, but Howie wasn’t as lucky. He fell to his knees just outside of the
doorway, and emptied the contents of his stomach in the hallway.

Once the security team showed up, they lead Kevin and Howie to a safe room. Both of
them were still in states of shock over the situation, neither of them really wanting to
believe that this all was happening again.

-------------

“Here is everything that they sent us.” Kevin said dejectedly as he handed the FBI agent
all the letters they had received from Kara and Rick.

It was the day after they went missing, and Kevin and Howie had been asked to come to
the police station for some questions.

“Thank you Mr. Richardson, but I still don’t understand why you all thought you could
handle these psychos by yourselves.” Agent Henderson said as he took a seat behind the
desk.

“We were stupid, now I wish we had. Maybe they…they would…still be…with…” Howie
couldn’t even finish his sentence before he nearly broke down. Kevin quickly placed his
hand on the younger mans back to try to give him some comfort.

“Well, we don’t have the ability to change anything now. So now we need to do our best to
catch them. So the missing include, Brian and Sara Littrell, Nick and Jennifer Carter, and
Alexander Mclean.”

“Yes Sir, that’s all of them.” Kevin replied.

Agent Henderson took in a deep breath before he continued. “The results are back on the
analysis of the champagne and blood samples that were taken from the scene. We found
traces of a strong sedative in the champagne, which was so strong that merely seconds
after consumption, whoever drank it would be rendered unconscious. Now, the majority of
the blood it seems to have come from Mr. Carter. The CSI members determined that he hit
his head on the corner of the dresser as he fell to the floor.”

Kevin and Howie were both in total shock over this news. Just the fact that Rick and Kara
had planned this out so much, was almost too much for the duo to handle.

“The rest of the blood came from Mrs. Carter. After analyzing the glass shards that were
also on the floor we believe that landing on the broken glass is what caused her injuries.
We also found a few hairs that belonged to Mrs. Littrell, but no traces of Mr. Littrell or Mr.
Mclean. The fact that they left no kind of ransom note leads me to believe that, just like
last time, they don’t want money out of this. We have an APB out on the bus that is missing,
that shouldn’t take too much longer to locate. We also are trying to find any witnesses that
were out on the street and may have seen anyone get on that bus, but so far no one has
come forward with information.”

Kevin took in a deep breath, “So do you think there is anything that we can do, I mean, I
just can’t sit here and wait.” Kevin was fidgeting in his chair, something that was very un-
Kevin like.

“Anything you can do to help is always welcomed. Just no playing hero, do you
understand?” Agent Harrison responded with his arms crossed.

Kevin didn’t feel like he could answer that question truthfully. He knew that no matter
what, if he had the chance to do whatever he needed to do to get his family back, he would
do it without hesitation. So he simply gave a nod to the agent.

“We will contact you as soon as we hear anything. Are you going to be staying in the
immediate area?”

“We are going to take a trip to Kentucky to check on their children. We should only be
there for about a week at the most.” Howie answered the man. “But we gave your Sergeant
our cell phone numbers, so don’t hesitate to call us.”

With that said the two remaining Backstreet Boys made their way out of the police station.
They had a flight to catch in two hours time.

The news about the others being missing had still not hit the news stations, but tomorrow
morning the news would be out. Kevin didn’t want the families to hear about all this over
the news. So him and Howie decided to fly out to Kentucky to tell Kevin’s family, and Brian’
s family. Howie was going to call the Carters once their plane landed, they didn’t want to
risk Jane to spill the news first. Now, 4 hours later, Kevin stood in front of the door that
held everyone that he didn’t want to break this terrible news to. Resting his hand on the
door knob, he pushed the door open, and put on his brave face.

Chapter 15


Shadows were cast about the walls when his brown eyes first snapped open.

“Damn it, Nick!” He mumbled, hearing the heavy breathing in his left ear. He had just
suspected the boy found his way into the wrong bunk after getting up in the middle of the
night to go to the bathroom.

That’s when he remembered. They hadn’t shared a bus in years.

The next few moments would send a ball of reality whirling towards AJ . When he had finally
gained the consciousness, he turned his head to try and wake his friend. His head pounded
ferociously and memories began to rattle the harsh space in his brain. AJ forced the vomit
down as he remembered the vision of Nick and Jenn when he had found them, before his
world had been faded to the deepest shade of black. Tears, though, could not be hindered
as AJ blinked to find one of his best friends lying pale before him.

“Nick…” AJ found his voice was hoarse and far from his own. He involuntarily reached out a
hand and ran it through the front of Nick’s hair. “No…” He heard himself gasp as he drew
his hand back to find his fingers damp with sweat and blood.

The tattooed man stiffly turned his head again, this time, to focus of the ceiling above him.
He couldn’t let this happen to them. Not again. The Carters and The Littrells had been
through too much already, especially Jenn and Brian. AJ shut his eyes tightly, hoping it
would block out that roaring noise, also known as too many thoughts. He knew what he had
to do. It was time to be superman.

AJ sat up as slowly as he could. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself if there
happened to be any unseen figures lurking about the corners. AJ wasn’t sure if he could
move quickly anyway. When he had moved just slightly earlier to touch Nick’s hair, AJ had
realized it had taken longer than it should have for the command to come from his brain to
his arm.

Finally feeling the ground stable underneath his feet, AJ gained his balance and squinted,
beginning to make his way through the dark ways of the bus. He had almost made it to the
front when a turn in the road shook the bus and sent AJ down to the floor again.

“Mother fuck-” AJ cursed, his head slamming onto the hard floor. His rant was interrupted
by a foreign voice.

“Thought you were gonna continue to be the rebel, huh? Hm, you should’ve learned earlier
with the rest of them that there is no room for rebellion in this game.” The shadow fell
across the thin man in a way that made him suppress a whimper of fear. Rick, he guessed.

“Listen to me, shitface…” AJ cringed, not knowing where his strength was coming from.

“No! YOU listen to me you moth-” Rick jerked AJ up harshly by the strap of the wife beater
he was wearing.

“PUT HIM DOWN!” The voice was recognized by AJ as Brian’s. “He has nothing to do with
this. He’s not involved at all.”

“Shut up, pretty boy. THIS doesn’t involve YOU, does it?” Rick growled.

AJ turned his head to see Brian limping over, his eye black in the dim light from outside.

“Put him…fucking…down.” Brian was speaking through clenched teeth now and AJ had
found himself too scared to speak.

“So you think you’re Mr.Big Man now, huh?” Rick dropped AJ promptly from his hands and
started moving towards Brian.

Brian, however, had other plans and punched Rick square in the face, an action he
immediately regretted.

“Oh, you bitch.”

In one second’s time, Brian and Rick were both fighting each other on the floor of the bus.
AJ watched in horror as he watched his friend to become horribly defeated.

“Bri, man, stop!” He tried to coach his friend. He knew Brian thought he was doing what was
best for all of them but, he had a family involved in this too. AJ knew he wasn’t thinking
rationally. He could see it when he caught a glimpse of those eyes. Those blue eyes filled
with hatred.

AJ entered the battle as well, fighting to keep conscious. Fighting to keep Rick off of his
weak friend. Fighting….

…until the gun was shot from behind.

~-------~
When the shot was fired all was quiet, no one sure if they were shot or not.

AJ's cry soon broke the deafening silence, "Oh god," AJ gasped as he grasped his shirt
that was beginning to stain with his own blood. The room began to spin as he began to sink
to the floor. He quickly felt Brian's arms wrap around him and lower him down slowly.

"AJ, don't do this man. Stay with me." Brian said with a choked sob. Brian moved AJ's hands
and tried to inspect the wound in the dim light. "Turn on the fucking lights!!!"

Brian was surprised when his wish was granted and the lights flickered on. Brian quickly
went to work to pull AJ's shirt off, he was surprised when Nick suddenly appeared at his
side.

"Oh shit, Bone." Nick said as he looked at the damage. Nick was swaying from side to side,
but the sound of the gun shot had managed get him out of his stupor.

Brian wasn't sure if Nick would be upright for too long, but decided that he needed his
friend’s help. "Nick, I need you to take his shirt and put pressure on his chest." Brian
handed Nick the shirt and got face to face with AJ.

AJ grimaced as Nick put pressure on his chest and began to wheeze. He tried to focus on
Brian's face, but found it harder and harder as each second went by. "Bri..." His voice was
hardly above a whisper.

"I'm right here man, you're gonna be ok." Brian tried to reassure his friend.

AJ swallowed hard, he was beginning to taste blood. "Bri man, I...I need you...to....to tell.."

AJ let out a few racking coughs that soon caused blood to drip from the corner of his
mouth. "Lori...tell Lori that I love her...and...and..." AJ suddenly gasped and struggled to get
in a breath.

Tears rolled down Brian and Nick’s faces at this site, no one wanted to see a friend die.

"Don't you dare die on me, AJ! Don't you dare!" Brain yelled out as AJ's eyes dropped
closed. Brian quickly checked AJ and noticed that he was still breathing, barely, but still
breathing.

“Is he..." Nick asked in a small voice.

Brian quickly looked up and looked across the room at the one that held the gun. Kara.

"Stay right here Nick. Whatever you do, don't stop putting pressure on it." Brian shakily
stood up and began to stalk his way to his target.

Rick quickly stepped into his path, "Don't touch her Pretty Boy!"

Brian stopped, he knew his friend’s life was in the balance. "Just please, get him to a
hospital. DO IT!" Brian yelled. The silence that followed seemed to last forever, then he
heard her.

Very faintly through the door, "Oh God, please, what happened?" Sara cried.

Brian was torn, he knew he had to stand his ground and get AJ help, but his heart ached to
see his wife.

"Calm down baby, I'm all right." Brian answered her.

"What happened? I'm scared." Sara's voice was heard through the door.

Brian paused there, he didn't want to tell her. He didn't even want to say it out loud, that
would mean it was all real. That one of his best friends was lying there, possibly dying, he
didn't want to believe it.

Kara quickly began to make her way over to Brian. She was pissed that the Bitch was talking
to HER Brian. Brian had been so focused on the door that held Sara, he didn't notice the
quickly approaching Kara.

Kara roughly grabbed a handful of Brian's hair and pulled his face to hers. "If you don't stop
talking to her, I will put a bullet through her head. YOU GOT THAT???!!" Kara said through
clenched teeth.

"Brian, answer me...please." Sara said, trying to be heard.

Brian winced from the pressure of Kara pulling on his hair. He really wanted to answer her,
but with the woman threatening her life, he knew he couldn't. So as much as he hated to, he
gave in.

Brian's attention was diverted as Nick cried out to him. "Bri, I...I can't do this...much..." The
blonde never finished his sentence as his eyes rolled back and he crumpled to the ground.

Brian pulled himself out of Kara's grasp and sat down between his two fallen friends. He
quickly took over Nick's job and continued to put pressure on AJ's chest.

Looking over at Nick he saw that his friend was breathing erratically. He hoped that he was
okay, but he knew that he had to continue to help AJ. He let his eyes wander to where Rick
and Kara were talking quietly. Never in his life had he felt such hatred burn through him.

Then he let his gaze fall to Jenn, still laying there, in the same position for almost two days.
He willed her to move, to do anything that would help him to believe that she was alright.
He wouldn't get his wish though, she never budged.

Brian pulled AJ up against him, leaning up against the side wall. He could feel the ragged
breathing from his friend easier this way. It helped to ease his worries a bit. Now as Brian
sat, holding his friend, he couldn't help but once again stare at the door that his wife was
behind.

"Be strong baby." Was Brian's last thought before he drifted asleep.
~*~
Brian's eyes quickly snapped open when he heard someone cry out for him. With cloudy
eyes he scanned the room, and felt his heart stop. Everyone was gone, the door to the
bedroom was wide open, Jenn and Nick were no where in sight.

Then just as quickly, he realized something else. The man that was still lying against him,
wasn't breathing.

He rolled AJ off of him and quickly gave him a look over. AJ's eyes were still closed, his
face, though, was now a shade of gray. His lips were blue, and stained with blood.

Brian felt around for a pulse and found a very weak one. That gave him some hope. Brian
felt the bus shift and knew he didn't have much time. That's when he saw it, lying there as if
taunting him, AJ's cell phone.

He scrambled for the phone and hit the power button. Dialing the number he wanted, he
was able to conceal the phone in AJ's pocket just in time.

"Littrell, nice to see you're awake! Now I won't have to carry your ass to." Rick bellowed as
he sauntered over to Brian. "Wow, he's one ugly lookin dead guy."

"Fuck you!" Brian spat as Rick harshly pulled him up.

Soon, the bus was still, no one moving about, no one breathing. But if you were to listen
closely, you could hear the sound of hope.

"911, what's your emergency..."

Chapter 16


Kevin stared up at the ceiling, his hands folded peacefully on his chest. On the inside, though, he was
a mess. He could feel the blood sliding coolly through his veins, no longer holding the warmth for life
that it had possessed only a few weeks earlier. His heart, in fits of emotion, would pulse harder and
harder until it burst. But somehow, it always came back together again to start another cycle.

No, nothing was right. Nothing at all.

It didn’t even feel right to be in this house without Brian. It didn’t feel right to be in this room.

Every time the man closed his eyes, he found visions there, memories from years that he had left lying
around in the floor of his deep mind. There was young Kevin and young Brian playing Star Wars until
they were hollered at that dinner was ready. He could almost smell that aroma of homemade country
food wafting down the hall now. Unconsciously, the man closed his eyes once again.

This time, he found the face of a woman, torn and distraught. A woman he had let down.

“Now Kevin, if Brian goes with you, you’ll take care of him, right?” Jackie Littrell had asked as her son
packed his bags to move down to Orlando. The summer was beginning to rise in the air of Lexington,
Kentucky.

“Don’t worry, Jackie, he’ll be fine. There’s actually two other guys that are younger than Bri.” Kevin
had stated confidently, smiling at his cousin as he came out of the house carrying three suitcases that
seemed to weigh down his small figure.

“Well, you know how weak he is. I don’t want him to over-..” The nervous mother was wringing her
hands together, so apprehensive about letting her ‘baby duck’ go.

“MOM!” Brian laughed, slapping his hand to his forehead. “I’ll be okay.”

“Okay.” She sighed, pulling her son into a warm embrace. “You listen to Kevin, alright? He knows
what’s best for you.” At the same time, she gave Kevin a look that let him know that nothing should
happen to Brian.

They had drove off to the airport that day, leaving the rolling hills of Kentucky for a life of fame in
Orlando, Florida. Kevin still remembered the way Brian had looked that day. Clad in jeans and a
striped button down shirt, his hair was parted to the side and the look on his face was a mixture of
excitement and fear. The boy, barely 18, had even shed a few tears as they pulled out of the driveway
that day. Kevin reassured him that they would come back here soon. They would be happy, healthy,
and rich.

Kevin had never thought to tell him of all the bad things that could happen. He never thought it WOULD
happen to them. But, he had pulled into that same driveway yesterday that he had pulled out of 14
years earlier….

….and Brian wasn’t with him. He didn’t know where Brian was. He had let his aunt down. He had let
his whole family down. Kevin felt his heart beginning to quicken it’s pace again. His hands began to
shake and become moist with anxiety.

“Not my baby.” She had cried.

“Why do they want him?” Brian’s father was crying too.

“Where’s daddy and mommy?” Little Emily had entered the kitchen with Nicole and Zach in tow.

“I miss daddy.” Nicole had said, pulling on Howie’s pant leg.

“Momma.” It was Zach’s only word.

“No…God, please. Please stop…” Kevin’s eyes creased as they shut tighter, tears spilled down the
sides of his face. The man pulled his hands up to his face, pressing his wrists into his closed eyes.
Suddenly, he felt ten years older than he actually was. "You’re breaking’ down too easy." Kevin spoke
to the darkness.

"Uncle Kevin?"

The small voice spun a knot in Kevin’s stomach. He quickly wiped away the sadness in his eyes and sat
up, ignoring the strong pains in his head. "Yeah, sweetie? What’re you doing up?"

"Emmy’s cryin’." It was then that Kevin noticed the smaller girl desperately hanging on to Nicole’s
hand. "She wants her mommy and daddy."

"Oh." The dark man stood, pushing back the emotion that stung his eyes. Reaching the door, he bent
down to eye level with the girls. "They’ll be home soon, Em."

"I…miss my mommy and daddy too." Nicole’s voice was less confident this time.

"I do too, Nikki." He said, moving a piece of blonde hair out of the girl’s eyes.

That’s when Kevin felt two pairs of arms secure around his neck.

And there, in his arms, were his two chances to make things a little bit better.

"C’mon. Let’s go to y’all’s room and we’ll talk about it." Kevin stood again, lifting Emily into his arms
and holding Nicole’s hand. "Where’s Zach?"

"Still sleeping." One the girls answered.

Kevin nodded, reaching the kids’ room and turning on a small lamp by the girls’ beds. "Okay girls," He
started, straightening out the covers and sitting on them, Emily and Nicole on either side of him, resting
their heads on his chest. “How about I tell you some stories about your mommies and daddies?”

“Well, let me see. Nikki, you came first. Your parents were so excited to find out that they were going
to have tw-” Kevin paused, remembering Nick Jr. He couldn’t even remember the last time anyone had
been to visit the baby’s grave. The man swallowed and continued. “When they were going to have
you.”

“Dude, Kev’s gonna kill you.” Brian whispered as Nick bounced into the meeting 15 minutes late and
took a seat beside him.

“I know. I saw the look.” Surprisingly though, Nick still had a smile drawn across his face. “And I don’t
care.”

“What’s wrong with you, man? You smoke something?” Brian spoke again, attention still being kept on
the management speaker.

“He obviously got some last night.” AJ whispered from where he was turned in front of Nick.

A stern look from Kevin had sent the three of them back into silence. But it wouldn’t last long.

Nick was doodling on an itinerary paper when Brian tapped him on the shoulder. “What’s Jenn doing
in the window?” He inquired.

The blonde’s head shot up quickly. Jenn was indeed standing there, a glow about her. When his blue
eyes reached hers, he had known before she even nodded her head.

“YESSS!!” Nick stole everyone’s attention , his exclamation breaking the drones of the room. Before
anyone could say anything, he was out of the door, picking his girlfriend up and spinning her like they
had just won the lottery.

“What just happened?” Howie asked Brian, scooting his chair closer, still whispering.

The answer came from Nick who bounded through the door again. “I’m gonna be a daddy!!”

Suddenly, the meeting wasn’t such a big deal and even Kevin stood to congratulate Nick and Jenn.


Kevin smiled just as he had then. Those past few months had been the happiest Nick had been in a
while. Ever since he had met Jenn. She gave him hope. He had given her all the love that he had.
Kevin closed his emerald eyes and said a silent prayer for the two. They were still so young…

“Me, Kevy.” Emily patted her small hand against his stomach, looking up with questioning eyes.

Kevin smirked and held her hand in his, recollecting more things from his memory.

“Weeeelll,” He started, “Your daddy and I were painting your room and your mommy was outside
reading when you decided to come along…”

“Bri, why does your wife have headphones on her stomach?” Kevin asked, peering out of the window
and sipping his tea as they took a break from painting the nursery.

“Eh, she read that if you play certain music while the baby’s in the womb, the same music will calm
them when they come out.” Brian answered, leaning against the bar and smiling as he watched Sara.

“Oh? What music is it?”

“Well, baby seems particularly fond of Black and Blue.” He answered again, walking over to the door
where he would let his wife in.

“Hmm. I don’t sing too much on that one.” Kevin raised his eyebrows as Sara passed him on her way
to the refrigerator.

“Exactly.” She joked, smirking at him before bending to grab a bottle of water.

“Dude, there’s one song on there that really got it going the other night..” Brian looked up in thought,
trying to remember which song it was.

“Oh my God, Bri, I think…I think it’s…Time.”

Kevin stood from his chair, seeing the look of pain on Sara’s face as she dropped the water bottle onto
the floor. Brian, however, was still trying to think of the song.

“No…I was thinking Shape of My Heart.” He stated, still lost in his memory.

“YOU DUMBASS! Baby…time…the baby is coming.” Sara grabbed the back of Brian’s shirt as she
allowed Kevin to sit her on the floor while in the midst of a contraction.

“OH…oh my god. OH MY GOD! KEVIN! What do we do?!”

Before Kevin could reply, his cousin was up the stairs, gathering the hospital bags.

“You’re going to drive, right?” Sara looked up. “Please?”

“Sure. I don’t think we’ll make it if Brian drives.”

The two laughed in agreement as Brian tripped over a bag, fell down the stairs and landed by the
kitchen.

“Ready?” He mumbled.

“So,” Kevin grinned, “When daddy came home with you and mommy, he also came home with a
broken hand.”

The only sound he received in response was a staggered breath coming from Nicole. The man looked
down to see she was sleeping soundly, Emily too. “Mph, like father, like daughter. At least it’s cute
when they fall asleep while I’m talking.”

Kevin stood, tucked Nicole into the covers, then carried Emily to her own bed. She stirred a bit and,
fearing she would awake again, he bent down to sing the refrain of Time, choking a bit as he almost
automatically paused for the others to sing. The man watched as her movement stilled and she drifted
back into a deep sleep.

“Hmm, maybe it was Time.” He spoke to himself, moving to Nicole’s bed and checking on her one last
time. He brushed pieces of hair away from her face, seeing how much the girl had grown in the past
months. She almost HAD to grow up quickly. Kevin sighed. “Don’t worry, darlin’, mommy and daddy
will be home soon if I have anything to do with it.”

Just as he stepped over to turn off the lamp, the silent child in the room stirred a bit in his own bed.
“Ohhh. Zach.” The sentence came in an exasperated tone. It was as if, with that small noise, Kevin felt
even worse than he had before. He walked over and sat down by the little blond boy.

“I wish I could make it all okay, Zach. I wish I could bring back mommy and daddy and Brian and
Sara.” Kevin stopped, sucking in his bottom lip and looking at the ceiling, finally releasing the tears so
that they slid down the sides of his face. “I miss them too. And they’re in a place…in a place
where…God, I should’ve known. I should’ve told the police. I knew better, Zach. Now…I’ve screwed
everything up.” His voice was so weak now. He could feel his “wall” crumbling. “I’ve got them taken
from you and Em and Nikki. And I don’t know how in the hell to get them back. You’re going to wake
up tomorrow…and mommy and daddy are still going to be gone and the whole world will know… and
y’all…y’all still won’t understand. I’m so sorry. I’m so damn sorry.”

“Kev?” The voice came from Howie who was standing in the doorway. His brown eyes were swollen
too, no doubt the same tears Kevin had been crying.

“Yeah?” Kevin’s voice was deep and raspy now. He found Howie to be blurred through his vision.

“Phone.” He walked over, handing Kevin the cell phone.

“Who would call now?” The older man’s heart began to fill with emotion again. “Hello?”

“Mr.Richardson?”

“Yes.”

“We’ve found the bus. You and Mr. Dorough need to come down to Orlando immediately.” The voice
informed.

And Kevin’s heart burst once again.

----------

Kevin and Howie quickly tried to find a flight back to Florida once they received that phone call. Kevin
was mad at himself for actually leaving the state. The police officer on the other line wouldn't give out
any specifics, just that they needed to get down there.

There were no flights out to Florida at that time of night, but with a few phone calls they were able to
get a chartered jet ready to leave within the hour. Both men were silent for the plane ride, images of
what could be waiting for them flooding their minds.

Once the plane landed, Howie spoke. "Kev, I'm scared of what is going to be waiting for us. I mean,
what if...what if..." Howie couldn't even finish that thought without being choked up with tears.

Kevin put a reassuring hand on his friends shoulder. "God would never let anything happen to them,
he just wouldn't."

"I believe you Kev, I believe you." Howie said as he finished gathering all his belongings that were on
the plane. Soon they both deboarded the plane, and were in a car on the way to the hospital.

Walking through the doors, they both let out a breath neither of them realized they were holding in.
Kevin went to approach the main desk, but was stopped by a detective coming around the corner.

"Mr. Richardson, Mr. Dorough, glad you could get here so fast. I need to brief you before I let you into
the room." The detective said quickly as he signaled for them to follow him into a private waiting
room.

When they were let in the room, they were greeted by a teary eyed Lori. She looked very upset, and
that worried Kevin and Howie very much. They both went over to hug Lori before they sat down.

"Ok, now that they are here, can you tell me what in the world has happened." Lori said, her voice
tinged with unhappiness.

"Sorry to make you wait Mrs. Mclean, but I wanted everyone here. We found the missing bus
approximately 4 hours ago. A call was placed to 911 and there was no answer. The operator
immediately placed a trace on the call, and within 7 minutes the first officer arrived to the scene." The
detective took in a deep breath. "The bus was empty with the exception of one person. Mr. Mclean was
the only one left on the bus."

"Oh thank god." Lori gasped bringing her hand to her mouth, but when the detective looked down at
the floor Lori felt her heart drop. "Please tell me he's ok." She begged.

"I'm sorry to say, but he's in grave condition right now."

That’s when Lori lost it, she let out a loud sob and fell into Howie's embrace. Howie tried his best to
console her, but soon realized that nothing was going to soothe her at this moment.

Kevin finally spoke up, wiping a tear from his eye. "What happened?"

"It appears he was in some kind of struggle. He had some trauma to the back of his head, and some to
the front also. But the thing that has him fighting for his life right now, is the gun shot wound to his
chest." The detective paused for a few seconds before continuing.

"When they arrived to the scene, Mr. Mclean was not breathing. They preformed CPR on him right
away, but they fear that he went without oxygen for quite some time."

Lori was in full hysterics at this point, everyone worried that this may have been too much for her.
"Why, why him. I...I need him." She sobbed out.

"So, no one else was found?" Kevin asked in a quiet voice.

"I'm sorry Mr. Richardson, but we are doing a thorough search of the bus, and of the perimeter. We are
hoping to find something to lead us to them." After a few minutes of silence, with the exception of
Lori's cries, the detective decided to speak up. "If you like,
Mr. Mclean was let out of surgery about an hour ago. He's in a private room, I can take you to him if
you like."

They all exchanged quick glances and nodded. No one felt like they could speak up, it was all
becoming too much. But they didn't even have a clue of how bad it would get.
As they were led into the room AJ was held in, one look at the man in the bed was too much for one of
them. Upon seeing her husband in that condition she felt all the blood drain from her body, and she
collapsed.

Chapter 17


Brian’s eyes were almost swollen shut when the blast of cold air smacked him in the face. He had been
forced to walk through the humid woods for almost an hour after what had seemed like hours in a dark
van. Away from everyone.

His head pounded harder and harder with each step he took. Brian had contemplated turning back
several times but, there were two men with him. Two men much bigger than he was and he knew he
would never be able to make it alone. And he couldn’t leave everyone behind. Jenn and Nick were too
weak to handle punishment and Sara…he didn’t know about her.

Fresh tears exploded as his heart broke once more. Why hadn’t they just go to the police in the
beginning?

Brian rubbed his face, trying to stretch his eyes so that they would open wider. Damn, his whole body
was stiff. And where were the others?

They had just entered a cool place but, still, a place where he was uncomfortable. A little bit away, he
could hear voices.

“I don’t need that lip from you, Carter!” It was Rick’s voice that made Brian want to hurl and, when he
heard a snap that followed the sentence, that’s exactly what he did.

“C’mon boy! We don’t have all day. We have families to go home to.” One of the men kicked him in the
side. These men had families? They were going home? Visions of Emily and Sara passed through his
mind. Home. The word seemed to echo in his head until he was kicked again.

And a scream pierced the air around him. His wife’s scream.

Brian picked up his pace, almost to the disliking of his two guards. “I swear to God, if they hurt any of
them, I’ll…”

“Mr. Littrell, so good of you to join us.” Rick spoke with a smirk crawling across his face. The large room
was lit by candles, illuminating the figures in the room but not much else.

“Shut up, bastard.” Brian spoke through clenched teeth.

“Oh, such brave words for such a small man.” Rick snickered and then gestured towards the opposite
wall. “I was being nice, really. I just thought you would want to visit your little friends.”

And then, Brian saw them. Jenn was on the end, collapsed onto the floor, still not quite conscious. His
insides began to pain at the sight of Nick who, with uncontrollable tears streaming in rivers down his
face, had a red line forming across the side of his face and across his bare chest. That was the snap. His
best friend had been whipped. Brian began to feel his own chest burning, just taking in the image.

Then, there was his wife. Sara, however, wasn’t tied up as the other two were. Her chocolate eyes had
turned a muddy color and Brian became disturbed by the look that was within them. They were empty.
Lost. She hadn’t even noticed that he had entered the room.

“What the hell did you do to her?!” Brian’s voice cracked with emotion before he took strides toward the
woman. “Sara?”

Her head snapped in the direction of the voice. Makeup streaked her face and her lips were without
color. At the sound of his voice, her chin had begin to quiver. “Brian…”

Without any words, Brian wrapped his weak arms around Sara’s body. They both released new tears
and held onto each other tighter than either of them could remember doing before.

“We have to get out.” She whispered into his ear.

“I know, baby. We will. I promise.” He began to kiss her face, their tears swirling together. “Please don’t
cry.”

“I don’t like it here, Brian.” Her voice was just as lost as her eyes.

He was just about to respond when a hand grabbed the back of his neck and jerked him backwards.

“What did I tell you about being with her?!” It was Kara who spoke this time, another voice that made
Brian want to puke. She loosened her grip on his neck and began to gently rub his back. “But, I guess
you can touch her one more time…because you won’t be able to…for a long while.”

Before him, Rick held out his hands and in them, two ropes were revealed. “Tie her up, pretty boy.”

“Oh my God.” Nick gasped, knowing Brian would be too weak to handle the task placed before him.

Brian began to back away, everything becoming too much, the world was turning hot. He lunged
forward, heaving dryly. “I….I can’t.”

“It’s your last chance. I don’t blame you though.” Kara came over to touch him. “I wouldn’t want to
touch her either.”

“Give me that damn rope.” Brian was back to talking between his teeth again, shooting a glare towards
Kara at her words.

“Rok…” Nick spoke in a warning tone.

“I have to do it, Nick. If I don’t, they could take her from me. They could take me from her. It can’t
happen right now. We need each other.” He replied, his eyes focused on his lover.

Nick’s lips fell silent as his vision turned back to his wife. He was torn. If she woke up, she would have to
go through all this misery that they were experiencing. But, if she stayed like she was, he could lose her.
“I miss you, Jenn.” He whispered in her direction.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Brian cried as he saw Sara’s face twist with pain. Her wrists were already burned a
shade of red. He didn’t want to know what had happened in that room. He didn’t want to look at her. He
didn’t want her to remember any of this. He was ashamed that he was doing this to her.

“Why…” Sara licked her dry lips. “Why are you…you and Nick so…so bloody?”

The shorter man’s lips curved downwards and he looked towards Nick, who had blood stained pants. He
then looked at himself, his white shirt was stained his brother’s blood.

“Hm. They should be finding THAT body soon.” Rick spoke, lighting a cigarette.

“AJ…” Sara breathed in a knowing voice. Her body began to shake.

“No baby. No. He’s okay.” It was the first time he had ever lied to her. His hands suddenly became shaky
too and only still when Sara bent her wrist just enough to grab his hand that still held on tightly to the
rope. Brian licked his own lips and looked into her eyes, surprised that they had met his own
immediately.

“Don’t be sorry. I still….I still love you.” She whispered. She closed her eyes and opened them again
slowly. “We’ll make it.”

Brian leaned in to kiss her at the same time he was jerked away again. This time, by Rick, who had
enough strength in his pull that Brian landed o­n the floor, the breath knocked out of him.

“Damn, Littrell,” He spoke angrily, tying the ropes tight enough to make Sara whimper. “First you
couldn’t drown her. Now you can’t even tie her. What a sissy! You know, this could’ve been avoided if
you had done it right four years ago.”

But Brian couldn’t hear him. He couldn’t even catch his breath.

“Nick…I miss…you…too…” The voice came from the silent figure that had been lifeless this whole time.

“Baby…” Nick bent as much as he could to try and talk to his wife.

“Good evening, honey.” Rick sauntered over to Jenn’s body as her eyes opened just a bit. For a
moment, she thought it was Nick but the smell that filled her nostrils was everything her husband wasn’t.
This caused her to gag.

“Get away from her!” Nick struggled with the ropes that confined him to the wall. He tried kicking his leg
out but, found himself too weak and almost losing his balance. “JENN!”

“Nick…” She moaned. She was in so much pain. And where the hell was she?

“I’m here, honey.” His turn to cry. “I can’t…I can’t get to you right now.”

“Sorry fucker.” Rick snickered, bending down beside Jenn with a glass of water. “Here, baby, take this.”

Her throat was so dry. Even if it was from Rick, she needed something, anything. Her throat stung with
dehydration. He put the glass to her lips and she gratefully accepted.

“JENN! NO!!” Nick cried, not trusting Rick at all with what he was giving her.

And he was right. Within moments, Jenn’s screams of pain turned quieter.

“Had to shut her up somehow, Nicky.” He stood and got close to the blonde. “She’s a screamer, you
know?”

Nick’s watery blue eyes stayed with Jenn. “I’m so sorry, Jenn.” He whispered. “I love you.”

And with a raspy voice, she managed to whisper back. “I love you too, Nick.”

Standing up, they managed to touch fingertips for a moment. one moment before it would all come
down again.

Seeing Jenn standing up and attempting to touch Nick made Rick see red.

"Fine!" Rick yelled out as he stalked back towards the couple. "I was trying to be nice to you and let you
be comfortable. But since you decided to touch HIM, you can stand up just like him."

Jenn began to struggle, doing anything she could just to keep the man away from her. She managed to
rake her nails across his face, drawing blood.


"You little bitch!" Rick growled as he grabbed his face. Fire burned in his eyes, and he quickly put his
arm across her throat.

"No!" Nick yelled out. He had been fighting against his binds, but to no avail. He could feel the skin
around his wrists opening up, but he pushed that feeling aside.

Rick brought his face to Jenn's ear, "If you EVER lash out at me again, I will kill him. UNDERSTAND??!!"

Jenn was still struggling to get in a much needed breath of air as she tried to nod her head. Everything
was starting to blur together.

Rick released his grip on her after some hesitation, and Jenn immediately went into a coughing fit. She
went to pull her hands in front of her, then Rick harshly pulled them back up against the wall. She
continued to cough as Rick restrained her arms above her head. He wanted to make sure that she
wouldn't be able to reach Nick.

Jenn's coughs subsided, and a look of shock crossed her face. She tasted blood. That caused her to look
down at her shirt. She went to cry out at the sight of blood dotting her shirt, but no sound came from her
lips.

Rick smugly looked at her, "There's no need for words, only what I have to say matters."

Suddenly his eyes turned loving as he slowly began caressing Jenn's face. Jenn just coldly looked away.
"Aww, don't be mad baby. This is all for the best. Soon, soon it will be just you and I." That was when he
began softly kissing her neck.

Nick once again began pulling against his restraints. "Don't touch her you fucker." Nick said though
clenched teeth.

Rick only continued, paying no attention to him. "I know you forgive me, you can't stay mad at the one
that you love. I already forgave you for earlier." Rick was still continuing to kiss her where ever he
could.

Jenn continued to look away. As much as she wanted to look into Nick's gaze for strength, she just
couldn't bring herself to. Suddenly she was very aware of Rick's hand beginning to make it's way up her
shirt. That's when the tears began to fall.

"Shh baby, don't cry. I'm just making up for earlier. Shhh..." Rick said in a soothing voice as he
continued on.

Brian had seen enough. He was just trying to regain full clarity before he tried to do anything that could
very well get him killed. But once he saw those tears falling down Jenn's face, and Rick beginning to
remove her shirt, he couldn't take anymore.

He gave Sara one last loving look before he jumped up and ran as fast as he could at Rick.

“Brian!” Sara’s shrill cry filled the empty air as she saw her husband catapult from the floor onto the
back of Rick Cartier.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, pretty boy?!” Rick said in response to the pressure he felt on his back.
His attention was immediately diverted from Jenn to Brian. Nick let out a small sigh of relief but sucked
in a new one as he felt fear rise in his chest of what would happen to his best friend.

“I…I never told him I was sorry.” He spoke out loud to himself, remembering that he and Brian hadn’t
even been talking before tonight. A small whimper from his wife, though, who lied shivering on the
floor, stole his attention. “Baby…” Nick struggled once more to reach her. “I love you.”

“I love…I love you too…” She swallowed, struggling to keep her surroundings from blurring again.

“Bri..” The cry was quieter now. A whispered scream of fear.

“He’ll be alright, Sar.” Nick swallowed, not knowing what to say as he winced with every punch Brian
took.

“No, he won’t, Nick.” Her voice shook. “He’s….he’s bleeding.” She gagged on dry air.

“Stop it!!” The blonde found himself yelling. He couldn’t watch this anymore. If anyone, it should’ve
been his own self taking the pain for his wife.

“He’s right, Rick.” Kara spoke up now, smirking as she did so. Rick dropped Brian o­n to the floor with a
slam that made everyone shut their eyes for a moment. Brian whimpered a bit but feared anything more
would cause more trouble.

Kara rolled Brian over onto his back and put a leg on either side of him, providing him with a clear shot
up her skirt. He shut his eyes and felt her sit lightly on his stomach, causing him to cry out.

“Aww, my poor baby got hurt?” She scooted down and began to raise Brian’s shirt, revealing wounds
caused by Rick. “Oh my goodness.” She faked a gasp and leaned down to kiss the laceration.

Brian shuddered with disgust and pain as he felt the lips upon his body. Soon, she had completely
removed the shirt and was kissing his jaw. His jerking away was not pleasing her at all. And she knew
whose fault it was.

“Brian! You’re only acting like this because that little bitch is standing right there.” Kara cast a glare in
Sara’s direction. “I don’t know what you see in that whiny whore…”

“Shut up, you bitch. That is my wife!” Brian spoke through pained gritted teeth.

“Oh darling, you’re so confused.” She put a cool hand on his cheek and a smile curved her lips. “We
should go get you cleaned up.”

“Just leave me the hell alone!” Brian responded softly, his mind beginning to spin. He tried so hard to
fight against her grasp, but he found his strength leaving him.

Sara cried out as she watched Kara and Rick dragging her husband out of the room. She was terrified
that she may never see him again.

Chapter 18


Kevin sat stiffly, his hands drawn up over his ungroomed face, trying his hardest to take
everything in with those tired green eyes. It had been two days and AJ was still lying here,
his name the only thing proving it was really him. The man lying in that sterilized room on
the crisp white bed was definitely not the lovable rebel that Kevin had known as his
brother for the past 14 years. This man was cold. And still. Quiet. Calm. Small, compared to
the mass amount of machines that were surrounding him from every end. And the nurses
called him Alexander.

AJ would’ve never let that happen. Why him, Kevin’s mind begin to race again. Where were
the others? What did those physcos want? He feared the answer.

“Do you want any coffee?” Howie’s brown eyes were swollen with lack of sleep as he sliced
Kevin’s wall of confusion that was beginning to build.

The tall man shook his head quietly and bit down on his bottom lip, reaching out to touch AJ’
s hand for the 3rd time in 20 minutes. Still no response.

“Lori?”

The woman sat in a chair farthest away from the bed. She had been hospitalized after
passing out, fearing stress on the baby. Now, she didn’t want to be near her ailing husband.
It was that she didn’t love him. It wasn’t that she didn’t care. It was simply that she cared
too much. And it hurt.

"Lori?" Howie said again, trying to get her attention. He was really worried about her health.

Lori's head snapped in Howie's direction, "Oh, um, what was that?" She hadn't been paying
attention.

Howie sat down on the arm of the chair and placed a hand comfortably on her shoulder.
"I'm going to grab some coffee, and I was wondering if you wanted anything."

Lori let out a sigh, "I don't think so."

"I'll tell ya what, I'm going to grab you some apple juice and a bagel. The doctor said that if
you didn't eat today, he would have you re-admitted." Howie said giving Lori a stern look.

"Fine, just get me whatever." Lori replied as she unconciously placed a hand on her belly.
Her stomach had a slight swell to it, her pregnancy beginning to show.

She didn't see Howie leave the room as she let her mind wonder. When she did this she
didn't see her husband in that bed. Instead, she could feel his arms around her, his breath
on her neck, his lips upon hers...

She never felt the tears begin to fall down her face as these thoughts crossed her mind,
but the sobs that followed snapped her back to reality.

The sound of Lori's sobs broke Kevin out of his trance. He let go of AJ's hand and made his
way over to Lori. The sight of her breaking down like this tore at his heart.

He quickly gathered the woman into his arms, and held her tight. "Shhh..." He whispered
soothingly into her ear.

"No...don’t tell me to shh!" Lori let out as she continued to break down. "That's MY husband
over there! My husband..." With those last words she had quieted down and let her gaze
fall onto AJ.

Kevin released her as she began to pull away. She stood up on wobbly legs and began to
make her way to the side of the bed. He watched as she sat down in the chair he had been
sitting in. She hesitantly reached out and polaced his hand in hers.

"Hey baby..." Lori began trying her best not to cry anymore.

Kevin suddenly felt like the room was getting smaller, he couldn't breath. He had to get out
of there, NOW.

He fumbled with the door handle then burst out into the hallway. It still didn't calm him any,
the white walls and the sterile smell was driving him crazy. Looking around he saw a flight
of stairs and headed for them.

He took the stairs two at a time, never looking back. He couldn't deal with this anymore.

Kevin Richardson was breaking down.

***
Howie felt drained, his feet dragging with each step he took. Life had definatly thrown a
curve ball at them, and he was unsure of the outcome.

He waved to a few of the nurses as he passed by the nurses station. They had been so nice
to all of them, and Howie couldn't have been more greatful.

As he got on the elevator he let out a sigh. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could
take. He began to remember some of the stories Jenn and Brian had told about those
months of capture. He couldn't imagine them being able to make it though this time.

The doors opened on the second floor where the cafeteria was. As Howie neared the
cafeteria doors he felt his pants for his wallet. He came to a stop in front of the doors when
he realized he left his wallet up in the room.
He decided it would be faster to go out to the car and get the money from his stash. When
he got back to the elevator he saw that it was all the way up on the 11th floor. He quickly
decided that it's be faster to just take the stairs.

As he opened the door to the stairwell he was shocked to see Kevin rushing down the final
few stairs.

"Kevin!!" Howie called out.

Kevin almost didn't stop at the sound of his name, but something caused him to stop. He
really didnt want Howie to see him so broken down, so lost. He stayed facing the door for a
few moments.

"Are you ok man?" Howie asked as he placed his foot hesitantly on the first step.

Kevin took in a deep breath as he began to slowly turn towards his friend. "I, um..."

Kevin never got through his sentence as he gasped at the sight before him.

Kevin didn't ever get the chance to warn Howie of the man leering behind him. He
shockingly watched as the man shoved Howie down the flight of stairs. Watching Howie
body crumble down the stairs was heart shattering, but the "crack" that resounded off the
walls sent shivers down Kevin's spine.

As Howie's unconscious, broken body came to a rest at Kevin's feet, he fell to his knees. As
he looked Howie over for injuries, he paid no heed to the man that had done this to his
friend. Kevin made a hissing sound as his eyes came across Howie's right leg, it was
definitely broken.

Then Kevin noticed movement to his left, and as the barrel of the man's gun came in
contact with the side of his head he had a feeling he would be seeing his missing friends
soon.


A/N: hope ur enjoying it so far...we have around 6 chapters already written...just working on getting them back on the computer due to a computer crash we had to go thru old notebooks and such...but we will be sure to have more chapters up soon...PLEASE REVIEW! thanks much!

Jenn and Sara

Thanks for the reivew! Here is what i do believe is chapter 19...let us know what you think!! Thanks! Happy reading



Brian's still figure laid on the cool "bed". he had been broken once again. And this time, he was sure he would remember it.

His eyes had become sore from all the tears taht wouldn't seem to stop pouring. They were tears of hatred and tears of sorrow. Tears of fear and tears of shame. They had almost become a part of him within these past few hours. They were numbing his pain.

But not enough to completely erase the feelings beneath his skin.

Brian felt so lost and unclean as he focused on one of the many cracks in the ceiling above him. It almost felt as he were looking at his own reflection. Cracked. How could he have let this happen again? He had let his whole family down once more. He ahd failed as their protector. As a husband and a father.

The young man's hands grapped the stripped mattress beneath him, the pain in his back becoming stronger, starting to numb his legs. The feeling was familiar in these foreign surroundings. he almost welcomed the familiarity of it. Pressing himself further into the mattress, Brian could feel the moisture of his own sweat and tears cooling his bare skin.

How could he explain to everyone what had happened? How could it be justified? He had just laid there. He didn't stop Kara as she stripped him of his clothes. he didn't stop her as she...she...

Brian realized that within those four walls, was the worst secret he would ever have to keep.

The man jerked his head suddenly to the side, bringing a trembling hand up to his head, soothing his pounding head by shielding the dim light taht was invading anything. He felt a panic beginning to stir in the pit of his stomach and rise to his chest, out of his control.

A cry excaped his lips.

He remembered hearing Sara's screaming just moments ago. He couldn't save her.

His breathing became staggered.

He hadn't heard anything from Nick or Jenn. He had struggled to keep and ear open for anything that would let him know that they were still alive, still fighting.

Brian sucked in a deep, shaky breath.

The sound of silence. Almost involuntarily, he began to thrash about, his worn body looking for any excape.

"Hello hot lips." Kara's voice made Brian lay still again. Inside of his mind, something was telling him that if he laid as still as he could, she wouldn't see him. It was almost like when he was 4 and he had broken Kevin's new toy truck. He had stood against the wall, out in the open, hoping his cousin wouldn't find him.

Now, the thought of an angry Kevin didn't seem so bad.

"You were really good tonight, sweetheart." Kara loomed over his frail body, brushing his hair back with her slender poisonous fingers. Never had just a voice made Brain's insides quiver with a deep rooted fear. Fear taht immobilized him.

"Aww, my baby sleepy? Well, Rick wants to make sure you see some new visitors before we go fall asleep together." She put an emphasis on the last word as she watched her victim swallow and blink his eyes. Kara smiled a smile as deadly as her touch. "Come now, Bribear."

Brian cringed at the nickname. It was not her voice that was supposed to come with taht name. It wasn't those arms thatt were supposed to cradle him either. He felt so guilty, so unfaithful. He didn't like the touch or the voice, but he didn't protest. Damnit, why couldn't he just tell her to stop it. Kara calling him Bribear should've been the last straw.

But it wasn't. And now she had him, sitting up on the side of the bed while she pulled on his pants for him. That's when he saw them.

Sara's wedding rings were on Kara's left ring finger now. he looked into Kara's face and then back down at her hand, the action bringing forth new tears. "Sarbear..."

"She doesn't love you anymore, Brian." Her grip on his became tighter and she jerked him up from the bed at his whisper of Sara's name. "Forget all about that bitch."

The woman leaned in to place a harsh, lusty kiss upon his lips, too quickly for him to turn his head. He could taste the salt from his own tears melting onto his lips. It was like pouring salt into the wound. Weakly, Brian stood, Kara jerking on his wrist. Where he was going or how he would like it, he didn't know. He just knew taht slowly, Brian Litrell was beginning to go crazy.

****

Nick listened to her shallow breathing as he still held her body close to his. He was so tired, but he was afraid to fall asleep. Afraid taht when he woke up, she would be taken away again, or worse. What had scared him the most though, was that she was ready to give up.

He fought sleep for as long as he could, but it soon became too much as his eyes closed heavily. He was ripped away from sleep, as his wife was ripped out of his grasp.

"NO!" Nick yelled out as he reached for his wife.

Rick let out a chuckle as he watched two of his men manhandle Nick. Nick stopped his struggle when one of the men landed a punch to his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. "Don't worry Carter, I'll take good care of her." Rick said as he motioned for one of the mend to pick Jenn up.

Nick couldn't do anything but painfully watch as they walked out of the room with his wife, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

****

Brian could barely keep his eyes open by the time that he and Kara reached the closed
door. He had to stay awake though. He had to find his friends, his family. he had to take care of them. The thought almost made him laugh as he looked down at himself. dressed in only jeans and boxers, Brian's frame hung weakly, every limb shaking, his blood barely creeping though his veins.

"Heerreee we are." Kara announced cheerfully, locking her arm with Brian's and leading him into the room behind the door. He looked around, vaguely remembering. It was the room that he had left Sara, Nick, and Jenn in when they had all been separated. As soon as Kara let go of his arm, Brian found himself falling to the floor.

Opening his eyes, he found the concrete floor to be stained with blood. Shutting his eyes tightly, teardrops fell silently onto the stains. He knew these stains, this blood, belonged to his best friends. Realizing he was alone, Brian broke out into full sobs on the floor, no longer able to hold back the emotion. He would go numb again soon.

But not soon enough.

"Bri?" The voice was familiar to the older man's ears. He couldn't uncurl himself fromt he ball he had formed to look up though. He couldn't reveal how broken and fragile he was. How dirty...

"Brian? Are you...are you okay?" The voice came closer as Brain pulled his legs closer to his chest. He jumped at the touch of a finger to his arm.

"Don't Nick! I...I'm dirty. I'm so dirty." He muttered under his tears. Brian wanted nothing more than to be held. To be held by something familiar. But he was so dirty...so guilty...

"Brian, you're not dirty. What happened?" Nick was at Brian's eye level now, forcing him to look into his friends face.

"I am dirty, Nick! I'm...I'm so...bad." Brian began to scoot against the wall, scared for Nick to touch him. he was almost afraid that Nick's touch would break him even more, completely shatter him.

"Bri...please stop. You're scaring me." The blonde had tears streaming down his face now too. They couldn't take both of his best friends. Nick moved forward slowly, thinking maybe a gentle touch would soothe the situation. Nick, too, had a longing for compfort in this foreign place.

As soon as the fingertips reached Brian's skin, the Kentuckian let out a loud yell combined witha a scream that made him choke on a sob and sit up against the wall, his palms bressed against the cold, stained floor.

Nick jumped back. This wasn't Brian. This was a man...a boy...lost and broken. It was reflected in his eyes. They were a navy blue, lacking the luster they always had. his face was voice of any emotion except fear. Fear and guilt. Suddenly, Nick began to piece everything together. What had happened to Brian...was probably the same thing that was happening to his wife now...

The young man threw his face into his hands, unable to think the terrible thought. He would have Jenn back into his arms in less than a few moments. It was his job now to help Brian.

"Bri, it's okay. I...I won't hurt you. It's okay." Nick moved forward easily, careful not to startle his friend. His heart broke when Brian shrunk back from the touch, looking at Nick as if he were sometihng to be feared.

"So dirty...so...so..." Brian could feel the ruch of panic stirring in his chest again, quicker than it had before. his body began to shake and his breathing became uncontrolled.

"BRIAN!" Nick couldn't take it anymore. In one movement, he gathered Brian into his arms and ignored all the struggle that ensued by this action. "Calm down, man. You're ok..." The words were strangled with his own tears. he was relieved when Brian gave up the battle.

For a few moments, the only sign of life in the empty room were heart wrenching sbos taht were created by both men.

"Nick...Nick, I...I'm sorry." Brian finally whispered raspily, tears still falling, making him even wearier than he was to begin with.

"For what, man?" Nick's grip hadn't loosened since Brian had let him hang on.

"I...I love you." He whispered.

Nick swallowed, his head pounding, his eyes clouding once again. "I love you too, Bri."

A/N: ok...as we've already said...we had lost some chapters...but found them...upon closer inspection we realized that we were missing just one little part...or so we think...and it was the second part to chapter 19...not much really...so heres the basis of it so you can get the next chapter...lol...nick pulls away from brain and realizes that the door is open a crack...realizes that bri won't be able to help him and decides he wants to find his wife....walks to the door and into hallway...ok...thats it...lol...now...for what you've been waiting for....and please remember to review! thanks...Jenn and Sara....

Chapter 20

"Jenn!" Nick called out, his voice full of fear. Fear of where his wife was. Fear of getting caught.

The only response to his call was the resounding of his own voice, echoing back to him.

His face twisted with anxiety and fatigue as the man looked at all the possibilities before him. he was standing at one end of the hallway, casting his eyes in every direction, trying to decide where to go first. Nick's paranoid mind created the sound of footsteps behind him and set him into action before he began to panic.

Turning to the left, the man found himself swallowing a lump in his throat as he now faced a hallway with several different doors lined on each wall. He was loosing time quickly and, opening his eyes, he breathed deep and began shaking the handles, and calling Jenn's name quietly.

Tears stung Nick's eyes as he realized that no matter how much he yelled for Jenn, she wouldn't respond. She couldn't. Those sons of bitches had already taken that from her.

From him.

There was no telling what else they were planning to steal. Their passion, their friends, their lives? The thoughts made Nick's stomach curdle. "Jenn!" The name left from his lips once more, this time with such desperation that he could almost feel the slits forming on his heart.

Nick reached the last door with every ounce of hope gone from his body. His wife could've been anywhere, even behind the doors he had already checked. She could be knocked out. She could be...

Tears spilled down his cheeks as his fingertips landed on the last knob. His heart was breathing loudly into his ears. Surely God wasn't going to take Jenn from him again. Nick couldn't make it this time. He couldn't raise their family by himself. "C'mon Jenn...you gotta be there." Hope was seeping back in.

But it left again when he found the door to be locked.

****

Jenn could do nothing about the hot burst of emotion pouring down her face. She had heard Nick jiggling the doorknob moments ago, calling her name. She had tried so hard to answer, give him any sign that she was there, but it burned so bad. The sting in her throat was slowly strangling her voice and her hands were becoming numb in the restraints that were tight around her wrists.

"Nick..." She whispered, with rasp taking the majority of the word. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed him to save her, to hold her. She was so damn scared of this place.

Jenn began to kick her feet at the end of the mattress and let out a breath as she realized that it was beginning to make quite a racket. "Please baby..."

****

Nick was taking his time walking back down the hallway. If they were going to get him, they might as well do it now. His emotions were tired, his heart was gone, he felt like a failure in every sense of the word. Returning to his place of doom, he felt for the walls to regain balance.

That's when he heard it. A sound he hadn't heart the first time he had come down. It was a creaking noise, a bed perhaps. Nick swallowed the sinking feeling that was rising to his throat and used his fingers to push himself away from the cold wall.

As soon as his body had left the wall, it hit the floor. His face twisted with pain that shot through his head. He was becoming so weak.

Slowly, Nick crawled towards the doors and decided which one that the sounds had been coming from. They were beginning to fade away and could only hope thatt Jenn wasn't fading with them. He grabbed the door knob and pulled himself up with it. "Jenn?" He yelled through the door. he no longer cared if he was caught. He didn't care about anything but finding his wife.

The sound stopped completely. Nick found his mind beginning to race as he banged on the door. "No." He cried. "Damn it! No!"

His fists hit the door faster than his mind could think. It was nothing short of a blessing when the lock popped open. Suddenly though, Nick felt his heart shaking in fear of what lie hidden behind that door.

****

Lori leaned her head back to rest on the back of the chair. This couldn't be how it was all going to end. Not like this. Five of her best friends, including her husband, had been taken from her. Now, the only security she had left in Kevin and Howie had been taken away from her in less than a half hour.

There was no aspect, in any one of their lives, that would ever be secure and safe again.
And Lori hated that. She hated it for AJ. She hated it for their child and Jenn and Sara's children as well. For all of them.

AJ's wife took his hand as a few teardrops fell onto his fingers and ran off of his fingernails, still painted black from weeks ago. Maybe it was better that he wasn't here for all of this. What would she tell him when he finally opened his eyes?

What scared her worse, was what he had to tell her.

****

"Shh, baby, I'm here now..." Nick soothed, finally being able to free Jenn's last tied up limb.

He had opened the door to find Jenn locked up in handcuffs to a table-like bed. The keys to each lock were hanging from the ceiling, dangling above her body, just out of reach. Nick had gotten them all down but, due to lack of nutrition and focus, it took him a while to match the keys with the locks. His heart was crumbling with every cry Jenn sobbed after his failed attempts.

Now, though, now things could be a little bit better. Surely, they had to be. He could protect her now, when she was in his arms, wrapped tightly. "You're going to be okay, Jenn."

"I love you Nick." Her voice was uncharacteristically low and shallow.

"I love you too, baby." Nick's lips pressed against Jenn's forehead as his fingers ran through her sweaty strands of hair. "I'm so sorry I couldn't find you sooner."

Once again, a familiar quivering finger quieted his blubbering lips. The silence that fluttered into the room after that shot him with a bit of reality and he knew he had to get Jenn away from this room. Somewhere safe...wherever that was. Nick was going to find it and he was going to put his wife there, his heart and soul safe with hers.

Standing on wobbly legs, Nick Carter gathered Jenn into his hungry arms and headed for the door, fearing that precious time was creeping up on him. Sneaking around the corner to take his whole world away.

The world that he held so close to him now. The world that's breath was beginning to become more and more shallow. Nick began to pick up his pace down the hallway. It wasn't until he was halfway down the one way that he realized he might be going the wrong way. Both ways were identical...and his mind wouldn't work quick enough to reveal if he was right or wrong.

Looking down into the eyes of his wife, Nick found that he was her only hope. His lip quivered. All of this, and Jenn still held on to that unending hope that things were going to be okay. Nick's mind began to swirl with too many thoughts at once, his body responding tot he overload. He fell hopelessly against the wall once more, feeling his back scrape against the concrete. "Damn it." He cursed. Nick now realized how shaky his body was becoming, how dizzy his head felt. It was over for him.
Not for Jenn though, he was going to make sure that she was kept safe. "Baby," He whispered, smoothing her hair back and bringing her face closer to his. "I'm going to keep you safe, alright? But you have to be strong for me."

He could feel Jenn's tears soaking the skin of his shoulder. "No...don't cry, Jenn. We're going to fight it. Don't cry..." His voice cracked. She wasn't going to let him out of this game as much as he wasn't going to let her.

"I love you, Nickolas," Jenn caressed his cheek with a cool hand, her eyes seeming to take a photograph of his face, taking in everything about it. Nick knew what she was doing and after a few seconds, he shrugged her hand away.

"Don't you do that, Jennifer. Don't act like this is the end. You're not going to die here...you're going to go home after this...with our kids...and you're going to live a happy life..." He shook her gently to emphasize the meaning of his words. Maybe even to try and convince her that it was the truth.

"With you..." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, seemingly to convince him of her words as well. "I need you, Carter."

His tears fell onto her shirt. "I need you too." He sniffed and looked up. "Don't worry, we'll make it." Closing his eyes, Nick mentally tried to gather enough strength to bring himself up off of the floor.

And he might had made it...if he hadn't heard that familiar voice just a little ways down from where they were.

"PLEASE STOP...please..." The voice was weak. Broken. Tired. Not at all like Nick was used to hearing it.

The voice belonged to Kevin Richardson.

Kevin slowly became more aware of his surroundings as his body was jarred around in the cramped space. He fought back the panic that was welling up in his chest, he needed to stay calm. He took in a shaky breath as he tried to remember what had happened to him.

His head was spinning, he felt like he was about to vomit. He attempted to straighten his legs out and was met with resistance. Trying to feel around he managed to grasp something firm, something human.

He said a quick prayer that whomever it was, was still alive. Suddenly though, the body let out a painful moan, and that's when it all came flooding back into Kevin's mind.

Trying to get away from the hospital...Howie coming through the door...Howie's frightened face as he was shoved down the stairs...Howie's broken body layed out in front of him...Then the exploding pain the his head...

He choked back a sob that he felt coming, as he tried to get his friend to wake up. "Howie...Howie man, answer me." After a few moments of silence Kevin realized that Howie was still pretty far out of it, and decided to get his bearings.

It didn't take Kevin long to realize that he was stuffed in the trunk of a car. He had no idea how long they had been in there, but by the crick in his neck he was guessing that it had been a while.

He let out a groan as the car hit a pothole, and as much as he fought it he couldn't stop it, his stomach emptied on the floor of the trunk. The smell caused him to continue gagging, he was beginning to feel like he was gonna pass out. He was almost positive that he had a concusion.

Thats when he felt the car slowing down, then come to a complete stop. He hoped that they were gonna take him and Howie out of this trunk, he didnt think he could handle being in there any longer. He then heard the doors to the car being slammed shut, and he felt the car shift from side to side. He felt the need to get sick again rising, then the trunk popped open.

"Fuckin Shit!" The man exclaimed as he waved his hand underneath his nose. "You stupid fucker, you threw up everywhere!"

The voice was much too loud for Kevin's pounding head. He felt as the man grabbed him roughly out of the trunk and dropped him to the hard ground. He watched as the man did the same with Howie.

"Now I'm gonna have to take it to get cleaned, you fucking prick!" The man said as he kicked Kevin hard in the ribs. "Get your ass up! And pick your friend up too while you're at it. I don't wanna carry his ass again."

Kevin stood up on shaky legs, not too sure if he'd be able to hold up his own weight none the less Howie's. He managed to though, as he bent down and scooped his friend up in his arms. Howie gave mild protest as his leg was moved and he let out an audible sob.

The man pushed Kevin forward towards the beaten down warehouse.

Kevin stummbled a few times before they got to the door, but was able to keep himself upright. He felt awful for the tears of pain that were streaming down Howie's face. He just hoped that his friend stayed unconsious for the time being, he knew the pain would be too much for his friend.

Then only a few steps into the hallway, the room began to spin and Kevin could no longer stand. His knee's buckled and he came crashing down to the floor, trying his best to keep his friend from being injured any more. He once again vomited on the floor infront of him, much to his kidnappers distaste.

"Oh come on you pussy, I didn't hit you that hard..." He once again connected his foot to Keivn's rib cage. "Get your ass up!"

Kevin cried out, "PLEASE, stop...I can't"! He sobbed as he fought to keep awake. His head was just spinning out of control as he looked ahead of him in the hallway. That's when the breath cought in his throat as he noticed he wasnt the only one on the floor. "Oh God, Nick!" He called out. Then he was suddenly yanked up and came face to face with the one person he hoped to never see, Rick.

"Glad you could join us Mr. Richardson." Rick said with a frightening voice.

Kevin's head rolled back, he couldn't even hold his own head up. "What...what did you do...to...to them?" He asked, the image of Nick and Jenn sprawled out on the floor not leaving his mind.

Rick let his gaze wonder over to them. "Oh, those two. They seem to have tried to escape, but no worries, they're not going anywhere."

Kevin felt as Rick slung his weak body up over his shoulder, he didn't even try to fight him as he allowed him to carry him away.

****

Sara and Brian had spent the past 30 minutes or so just in eachothers grasp. This time with only each other, almost allowed them to feel that everything was alright, but deep down they knew they were far from it.

The banging open of the door though, brought them crashing back to reality. They were both stuned when they saw Rick enter carrying a half concious Kevin, and some other man carrying Howie.

"Oh God, not them too..." Brian gasped out.

Sara felt Brian shaking as he saw two more of their friends suddenly dragged into this also. She just pulled him closer hoping to calm him down. She flinched as Rick carlessly dropped Kevin down across the room from them. She was worried when she noticed that his eyes were glazed and unfocused.

The man carrying Howie didn't even carry him across the room, he just dropped him down in the center. At this Howie's eyes finally snapped open as he sucked in a breath. He felt the need to scream as pain flowed up his leg and reached his brain, but he didn't.

Instead, he just bit his lip and looked to the side to see Sara quickly appoaching him.

Rick left without saying a word, as did the other man. Sara had gotten up before they had left though. She knew Howie would need somone to distract him from his pain. She had immediatly noticed his broken leg when he was dropped.

"Howie, whatever you do, don't move." Sara said as she brushed the lose curls off of his forehead.

"Oh God, it hurts." He bit his lip even harder, blood now beginning to seep from his lip.

"How, how did I get here?" He asked looking around to see Brian trying to get Kevin's attention.

"I'm not too sure hun, but I know that it couldn't have been pleasant." She said sadly, allowing her gaze to fall over to her husband.

Brian made his way over to his cousin as soon as Rick had exited the room. He was worried when he noticed that Kevin didn't seem to be focusing on anything, just staring ahead blankly. "Kev, can you hear me?" Brian asked as he began to inspect him for injuries.

Kevin's head slowly turned towards Brian, and he squinted his eyes. "Bri, is that you?" He asked.

Brian let out a hiss when he saw the wound on the top of Kevin's head, "You're bleeding." Brian stated.

"He pushed Howie down the stairs." Kevin began to mumble. "Then hit me on the head. I threw up in his car though..." He smiled at that.

"I think you have a concussion Kev." Brian said as he placed Nick's bloodied shirt ontop of Kevin's head, hoping to stop the bleeding.

Then suddenly Kevin's face fell, "Nick and Jenn didn't look so good. We need to help them." He tried to stand up, but Brian held him down.

"You don't need to be getting up Kev, there's nothing we can do." Brian's voice had a slight saddness to it. He noticed that Sara had now approached them and sat down next to him. "Is Howie ok?"

Sara sadly shook her head. "The pain was too much, he passed back out. His leg is in really bad shape, I wonder how it got broken so bad."

"He called for me," Kevin began. "And when I turned around the man pushed him. He never saw it coming...all those stairs." Kevin's eyes were fluttering closed, but snapped back open as he heard the door opening. "Nick..." He called out.

They all watched as Nick and Jenn were litterally dragged into the room. Brian's heart went heavy when he saw that both of his friends were out cold, just hoping that they were still alive.

"Littrell!" Rick called out snidely. "You and your whore need to come with me."

Sara flinched when he called her a whore, and she felt like one. She slowly made eye contact with Brian and knew that they had no other choice then to go with their captor.

"That's what I thought!" Rick said as he pushed Brian forward, then allowed Sara to get between them. Brain gave one last look to his cousin, but quickly realized that Kevin wasn't even glancing in his direction. He just hoped he would see him again as the door was closed, blocking his vision of the room.

The room was deathly silent, no one moving, and hardly breathing. Death was looming in the air, there was nothing more sure than that at this moment.

...Please Review!

Everything was blurry. And bright. Very bright.

He opened his eyes to find that all of his surroundings were unrecognizable. why wasn't he in his bed? Or in some hotel room? Suddenly, he began to feel sharp pains in his head, threatening to pull him back into a deep sleep. He moved his stiff arm to bring it up to his head only to find that he was hooked to an IV.

"What in the hell?" He whispered out loud, finding his voice to be raspier than it ever was before. And sore. His throat hurt like hell and the burn left from talking had brought tears to his eyes.

Almost immediately, AJ found Lori in his field of view. She seemed upset, yet, relieved that he was awake. He could see her lips moving, but he couldn't make out what she was saying. There was a loud ringing in his ears that made all of Lori's words mix together. He closed his eyes tight, trying to stop all of the noise invading his ears and the pain in his body.

"ALEX!" He heard Lori scream quietly. Her voice sounded so lost, so desperate and...she was crying. What had he done to make her cry? AJ opened his eyes again and tried to lift his other hand to hers. His body relaxed when she recognized his gesture and took his hand into hers. There were so many questions he wanted to ask her. The first being why the hell he was even there and why his head was hurting so damn badly.

"What...what happened, Lori?" AJ asked, weaklu, licking his dry lips. Noticing this, Lori stood and put a small cup of water to his lips.

"Here, drink some of this, baby. The doctor will be here in a minute." She soothed, caressing his tired face and moving down to his arm, offering him a gentle smile.

The way she was acting made AJ nervous. Although he didn't want to freak her out, he was about to lose it. "Where...where are the other guys?"

Lori bit her lip and AJ could see that the question was visibly upsetting to her. What had happened to them? Where was everyone? Why was he in the damn hospital?! His heart monitor started to beep at a quicker pace.

"Alex, baby, please calm down." Lori stood beside him now, leaning down to kiss his face, still holding his hand.

"Tell me what the fuck is going on, LORI! WHERE ARE THEY?!" For some reason, he had a feeling that this all had to do with him being a Backstreet Boy. If he was going to find out anything, he decided, he would have to find out himself. Taking no heed to any of his possible injuries, AJ lunged forward to sit up on his bed.

As soon as he took this action, he was sent flying back into his pillow, screaming out in pain. That's when he began to remember.

That bitch had shot him. Rick...Rick had tried to kill him.

"Oh God..." AJ shook his hand free of Lori. He felt the bandaging on his chest and then reached up to feel that his head was completely wrapped as well. "How...how long has it been?"

"You've been asleep for around 5 days, baby." Lori watched her husband, worry for him floating on the surface of the tears in her eyes. "It's ok. You're okay now..."

AJ wasn't listening though. Again, he saw her lips moving but he couldn't make any sense of the words. It wasn't a ringing that blocked her voice now. It was the voices of two of his best friends.

"Hang on for us, buddy. We're going to get you some help." Brian's southern drawl was tangled with a distinct sound of fear.

"Don't die, AJ. Please...Please stay with us." It was Nick now. And he was crying.

The voices made AJ hurt even worse, both physically and emotionally. Where were they now? They had to be alright. Yes, someone had found the bus and saved all of them. Rick and Kara were locked up again. That would explain where Keivn and Howie were, they were visiting the others.

"How...how are the others?" AJ asked, looking back at Lori with such a strong home she had never seen before. She didn't want to tell him the truth.

"Well, they..." She paused, taking grip on his hand again. "Maybe you should rest, J. We'll talk about this later."

"Damn it Lori! I've been asleep for five fucking days! Tell me!" He raised his voice a bit, much to the disliking of his throat and head. He shook her hand a bit for emphasis. A sick feeling was beginning to rise in his chest.

"We can't find them. When they got you off of the bus, everyone else was already gone but..."

Before Lori could explain anything else, AJ lost it. He shook his hand free of hers again and swept everything off his bedside table, cursing while he did so. "THOSE MOTHER
FUCKERS! They...they..." He suddenly realized that he didn't remember what he was going to say and, in a fit of anger at himself and everyone else, AJ began to try and rip the IV out of his hand.

His reaction scared Lori terribly and she silently thanked God when AJ's doctor and nurse came walking in.

"Whats going on?" The doctor asked Lori.

"He's remembering stuff and he..he just got so angry..." She sat back down, afraid any move or sound from her would set AJ off again. She knew it wasnt her taht had made him so upset but, the sight of him being like this. It scared her and broke her heart all at the same time.

"Mr. Mclean, please calm down, sir." The nurse was injecting a sedative into his IV as AJ began to try and untangle himself for the white sheets. Just as he got free from teh confines of the better, Lori saw his muscles relax and her husband's arms dropped to his sides. The nurse quietly covered him back up as the helpless man watched her.

"This is normal after the experience Alex has had, Mrs. Mclean." The doctor came back over to Lori after taking AJ's vitals. "He seems to be as good as can be expected for right now. We'll run some more tests on brain activity and other things once he's well rested and comfortable in this environment. Just try to keep as calm as possible. With such a wound to his chest, it's dangerous for him to become so excited."

Lori nodded in understanding, unconsciously bringing her hand down to her swelling stomach. She wondered if AJ would even remember. When the two were alone again,

AJ's wife noticed taht he wasn't moving anymore. Nor was he saying a word. He was simply staring at the wall oppisite of where she was standing.

"Alex..." She whispered. "We can talk about it if you want. They're all going to be fine. We just have to pray."

It was silent in the room now except for the small sounds of the machines attached to the fragile man. She waited for any sign that he was listening. Any sign that he was still with her. And, when she received it, her heart broke into a million more pieces.

AJ turned his head to look at her, but it was not her AJ that she saw. This man's face was gaunt and unshaven. His eyes were lost, like that of a small child. And, pouring out of those eyes, were a pool of unstoppable tears. "My heart hurts." He whispered.

"Well, we can get you some medication to fix that and..." Lori began, thinking of any way to try and help him.

"No..." he started, his eyes drooping shut, making no attempt to wipe away the tears. "this can't be fixed until...until they come home."

AJ stirred a bit beneath his sheets, his eyes reverting to Lori every now and ten, who was watching him, searching for anything to say. he didn't want her to say anything though.

Nothing cuold make this okay. Even though he knew he was lucky to be alive, he felt guilty.

The confusion and pain took over again, and AJ knew that he would never have a peaceful sleep again.

****

Nick's eyes fluttered open to find himself back to where he had started. The cold concrete against his back made him shift uncomfortably onto his side. His whole body had started to ache, making him wonder if anything had been done to him while he was 'gone'. His eyes, too, were still swollen from all of the tears he had cried hours ago.

Jenn. As the blonde remembered crying, he also remembered his reasons. The reason that had been wrapped tightly in his arms.

“Jenn…” He felt the panic rising in his chest, hoping to God that they hadn’t taken her way from him again. Nick wasn’t sure he could muster enough strength, or courage, to go on that adventure again. But he would if he had to, if it meant having her with him.

Nick let out a breath of relief when he found his wife’s body lying just a few inches away from his own. It worried him how still she was though and, her face being turned away from him, the man wasn’t even sure if she was conscious, “Baby…”

He began his crawl towards her and once he made it, Nick sat up, crossing his legs Indian style. Gently, he slipped his hands beneath Jenn and brought her up into his lap, reveling in the familiarity of having her in his arms. His arms seemed to naturally fit every curve of her body and he held her close for the second time that day. …Or was it night?

Nick slowly bent his neck down to kiss her forehead and became concerned with the warmness seeping from her skin. “Oh, my sweet Jennifer…” He sighed, bringing her head to rest on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for all of this. It’s my fault any of this is happening to you.” Nick began rocking his body back and forth with Jenn still tight in his grasp.

He had reached the breaking point, he was beginning to lose his sanity. “You’re gonna be alright, you’re gonna be alright.” He repeated over and over quietly into her ear as he cried openly.

***

Howie began to become aware of his senses once again. This time though, he knew the pain would come. He took deep slow breaths as he let himself adjust to the level of pain. Once it had leveled out, he finally opened his eyes.

The room was slowly beginning to come into focus, and so did his hearing. He knew that cry, it was Nick. His heart felt like it was about to break at the sight that greeted him. He watched with tears in his eyes for about 2 minutes as he just watched Nick rock back and forth with his wife in his arms.

“Nick…” Howie called our. He grew worried when Nick didn’t even glance in his direction, he just continued on with his mantra. Howie then glanced to the other side of the room where he saw Kevin leaning up against the wall, his eyes closed. “Kev…” He called out this time, hoping he would awaken.

Howie lucked out when Kevin let out a low groan immediately. “Kevin, please…wake up…” Howie pleaded out loud.

Kevin’s eyes blinked open after a brief moment, he squinted against the light. Although the light was dim, it was still too bright for him. “Oh God, D…are you alright?”

Howie breathed a sigh of relief when the older man acknowledged him. “No, but I need you to get over to Nicky. I think he’s lost it.”

Kevin tried to focus across the room, but everything was still a bit blurry. “I think…I can get up.” Kevin pushed himself up off the ground, he fell the first try, but was now standing upright. He dropped down to Howie’s side once he reached him.

“You need to help Nicky first, not me.” Howie said as he looked once again over at his younger friend. He hadn’t seemed to notice any of the movement going on in the room.

“I’m gonna take you over there, I may need your help a bit.” Kevin said as he tried to figure out how to move him without hurting him too badly.

Within a few minutes, Kevin had managed to move Howie over to the wall just a few inches away from Nick. The pain in his leg had now dulled to the point of being numb, and that scared him. But right now, his main priority was Nick.

Kevin gave one last glance to Howie before he approached Nick. He brought a hand our to place it on his friends shoulder. “Hey, Nick I…”

“DON’T TOUCH ME, LEAVE US ALONE!!!!” Nick bellowed out pulling Jenn tighter into his hold.

Kevin quickly retracted his hand, this was not his friends voice. He couldn’t help but wonder what had occurred to them these past few days, he was afraid to even know. He decided to just try to talk to Nick. “Hey buddy, I’m here now. I’m gonna try my damnedest to be sure they don’t hurt you. Can you at least look at me Nick?”

Nick still continued rocking, not even looking or acting like he heard Kevin’s words. His grasp on Jenn still deathly tight.

That’s what was worrying Kevin, Nick seemed to be holding Jenn so tight that she was hardly breathing. He needed to get Nick to let her go, but he knew that was going to be difficult.

“Nick, let me check Jenn out for you. I can take care of her for a bit, or how about Howie? Then you and I can talk, or whatever. Just let me help her.” Kevin said, hoping for it to work.

“You can’t have her! I’m not leaving her!” Nick said as more tears spilled over his cheeks.

“You won’t be leaving her,” Kevin’s voice held a sadness, Nick was terrified. “She will be right here, just let us check her over.”

That’s when Nick’s eyes finally met Kevin’s, “You promise?” His bottom lip held a bit of a quiver. Reminding Kevin so much of the thirteen year old that he had first met.

“Yea baby, I promise.” Kevin then slowly reached his arms out to take Jenn from Nick. Nick slowly handed her to Kevin as he body began to shake. Kevin set Jenn down comfortably next to Howie and moved back over to Nick, taking him in his embrace.

Howie took in Jenn’s appearance, and knew that what would be occurring to all of them over these next few hours…hell days…who knows…it could very well mean the end of one or many of their lives. He pulled Jenn close to him, knowing that Nick was counting on them to take care of her now. He just had to help her…and himself hang on.

Kevin held Nick as his body continued to shake with sobs, “Why…Why are you here?” Nick said in between hiccups.

Kevin took in a deep sigh, “I hope I’m here to help everyone, you had us so scared…so scared.” He finished that sentence more to himself.

It took Nick a few seconds to answer Kevin back, but these next few words put the weight of the world on his shoulders. “You always help me, so I know that’s why you’re here, to save us.” Kevin just continued to hold him as he let those words run in his vains.

He needed to save them all.

AN: ok...so we only have 2 more chapters done after this...but...we are working on figuring out whats going to happen next...please send in a few reviews kickin Sara in the ass for not writting her part...ive been waiting about 4 months now...lol...The next update will not be till after the 20th...due to the fact that i will be on a ship with Howie...WOOO...So yea...i will be preoccupied...please let us know what you think!! love always....Jenn and Sara

Just wanted to leave a quick message to let everyone know that...NO Howie has not kidnapped me...sure the cruise was great...wish that i could have climbed into Howies suitcase...but no...i could not...but when I got back home my computer wouldn't turn on...still won't...but I did buy a laptop today...so woooo for me...now i just need to track down the next chapter....Sara's lookin for it now...AND SHE FOUND IT...SO HERE IT IS!!!

Brian's face fell when Rick led them to their destination. He had never wanted to see the mattress that was thrown in the corner of that room again. Inside that room, was a secret that he had never wanted anyone to discover. Now Sara was in the room also and he knew that whatever was about to happen could mean the end for him.

Rick shoved him down roughly onto that damned mattress. Brian's body smacked hard into the wall, causing him to moan at the pain that had now coursed through his back.

Sara cried out at the sight as she was forced down into a chair. They quickly pulled her hands behind her back and bound them tightly.

"Enjoy your time while you can." Rick said with a snide look as he backed his way out of the room, leaving the door opened.

"Bri, baby, are you ok?" Sara asked as she saw her husband writhing around in obvious pain.

Brian sucked in a painful breath, "I'm fine babe, I'm fine. Are you ok?" He turned his pain filled eyes to her.

They just held each others gaze for a few moments, trying to draw strength from one another.

That moment though, was interrupted by the one person Brian feared would enter, Kara.

"Aww, baby, you brought you little whore to watch us finish up?" She threw an evil grin in Sara's direction. "Good idea, now she'll realize WE are together and she'll leave you alone."

"You bitch! Don't touch him!" Sara cried out, trying to break her restraints. It wasn't Kara's words that had made her want to break free so badly, but the expression on her husband's face and how fearful it had become when Kara entered. He knew what was about to happen. Sara wasn't sure if she wanted to find out.

"I only see one bitch in this room." Kara sauntered towards Sara, taking off her stilettos and throwing them each at the girl, each heel barely missing Sara's eye. "And that...is you."

"Leave her alone, Kara." Brian swallowed, his voice sounding so defeated. He didn't want this to happen and especially not in front of Sara. He didn't know if she would ever forgive him...if he would ever forgive himself. The overwhelming feeling of being dirty and shameful rushed over him again. Brian curled into himself.

"Oh, you want to play now, Bri Bri?" Kara kneeled on the edge of the mattress and crawled towards him until she was hovering over his face. Brian cringed as he felt the woman lean down and kiss his lips. "Mmm, delicious. Just like earlier."

That was it. His secret was out. He couldn't even bear to look at Sara now. She knew and he didn't want to see the pain and disappointment in her eyes. Pain and disappointment that he had caused.

Kara began to move her way down on Brian, satisfied when a kiss on the neck elicited a repressed moan from her victim. "Aww, you were trying to hard not to enjoy it." She laughed, making her way down his chest.

Sara knew exactly where Kara was headed and, not wanting to embarrass Brian or witness the actions set before her, she shut her eyes tightly. it came as no surprise when she felt her eyelashes wet with tears that slid down her face. This couldn't be happening.

A scream from Brian, though, was a horrible reminder that this, indeed, was all real. Very real. And they couldn't escape it. Ever.

Brian felt Kara's hands begin to slip further down his body and his body tensing with every movement. Behind closed eyes, he was willing himself not to give in to this so-called "pleasure".

"Stop. Please...please stop." Tears were sliding down into his ears as he begged Kara. The tears came quicker as he began to panic at the response his body was having to the touch. As much as he was disgusted with himself, Brian could feel his manhood growing. What would Sara think of him now? She would be just as disgusted with him. He would lose her. The only thing that could save him...

"Oh baby, you know you don't mean that." The evil seductress came up to kiss his face
hungrily. "I can feel that you don't mean it."

Brian began to start kicking his legs, looking for anyway to get free of this torture and humiliation.

"Yes, I know darling. Those stupid pants..." And with that comment, Kara kneeled at the end of the bed and began to undress him.

It was then that Sara let out a sob. Brian couldn't look at her, knowing how much she must hate him right now. In that cry, he heard the pity that she held for him. The sorrow and fright that she was keeping inside. If he couldn't protect himself, how was he to protect his wife? He couldn't. At that point, Brian Littrell decided that he was now a complete failure. A whore.

And now it had gone too far. Slowly, the man felt himself becoming more and more numb. Dirtier and dirtier.

And he would never forgive himself this time.

****

AJ blinked his eyes slowly, trying to take everything in. He hadn't slept in the two days that he had been conscious. None of this seemed real. But the reminders came to him at a fast pace. Every time he closed his eyes.

"You alright, babe?"

AJ turned his stare towards Lori. She was forcing a smile with worry etched in her tired face. he had been so scared to lose the only thing he had left that he wouldn't let Lori out of his sight. Security had been pretty much catering to their every need. AJ felt bad for his bout of selfishness, but he had seen the bad side and he knew it would be the end for him if he had to face his wife and baby being gone.

"Yeah..." AJ closed his eyes for a moment and then gave her a reassuring, yet weary, smile. "As long as you're here."

Lori smirked at the comment and rubbed his arm, squeezing his hand. "Always."

"Mr. Mclean?" A voice came with a knock on the door.

"Come in." He called wearily.

The door opened to reveal two men dressed in business suits. "Glad to see you're awake and feeling better."

"I have a feeling that won't last long." AJ replied sourly, knowing exactly what the men wanted. It was exactly what he had been trying to avoid.

"We'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind." The shorter man said, nearing the bed.

"I'm not sure he's ready for that, gentlemen..." Lori stood, ready to push the men out as she had been doing ever since AJ had opened his eyes to his new world.

"No..." AJ reached a hand up to her arm, signaling her to sit back down. "Now or never." Strangely, he felt his eyes welling up at that phrase. The phrase that NIck had so carefully picked for his Solo debut. If he had only knew...

"You sure?" His wife asked, searching his eyes for truth in the comment.

After AJ nodded, Lori took his hand once more and sat comfortably in her chair.

"Well," One of the men spoke, both of them also taking their seats. "Who all was in the bus at the time of capture?"

Pictures of each of his "family members" came flashing through his mind. "Um, Nick and Jenn were taken first. They were...they were there when Brian and Sara and I got there." AJ swallowed, remembering New Years Eve. He remembered how sick Sara had been. The look of worry and fear in Brian's eyes. Nick and Jenn's bodies lying unconscious.
He remembered how scared he had been. How scared he still was. He remembered everything.

"Anyone else?" One asked the questions and one was writing everything down.

"Rick and Kara." AJ's jaw clenched, simply saying the names.

The questioning man nodded. "Damn those two." He muttered, losing his professional persona for a moment, revealing that he had taken this investigation more personally than most. AJ then remembered that this man was one who had taken care of them the first time around. When no one ever even dreamed of a second time.

"Where were the others when you were knocked out?" The writer spoke up now.

AJ took his time answering this one, trying to remember but afraid of the memory. "Um, they...they were...well, Nick was just beginning to wake up. He was beaten unconscious. J-Jenn was...knocked out. Brian was the only one awake...I think...S-Sara was locked in a room..." He shut his eyes, remembering all the noise. Nick's barely audible voice, his lost eyes searching for his wife. Brian and Sara trying to talk to each other through the door. "I remember...Nick was...he was holding me. I could hear him. I could feel him shaking. B-but he couldn't handle it. He was too weak...and so, Brian took me. And I could hear them...They...they were so worried about losing me." The man shook his head and opened his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that threatened his voice. "I didn't even try to help them. I could've woken up..."

"Baby, it's ok." Lori began to worry about what a toll this would take on him.

"No..." he shook his head, sucking in his bottom lip. "No, they...they wanted me to be alright. I could've helped them. But I didn't. I fucking let them...let them go." AJ leaned into Lori's chest sobbing now for the first time openly since he had been awake. "They're too weak, Lori. We have to find them."

A determination was audible in AJ's voice now. A strong decision he made to find his family.

Dead or alive.

****

"Brian?"

Sara had been trying to get her husband to speak to her for the past thirty minutes. Kara had finished him off and left him lying there. Crying and shivering.

Now he wouldn't even look at her, much less talk to her. She was beginning to grow more in worry when he stopped even crying. Brian laid quietly on his side, shivering under a thin sheet, visibly shaken by the current activity.

To make sure Brian stayed humiliated, Kara had emphasized the fact that he was dirty and covered him because she didn't want "the whore" to be so disgusted with him that she puked on herself. Too much of a mess, she had said. Brian had stopped fighting.

"See? he loves ME now." Kara had leaned over Sara. "Hm, easier for us both to get rid of you now."

Sara now struggled to break her restraints. The tight bands were pressing against her already cut wrists and, as painful as it had become, it was hurting her more to watch Brian slowly slipping away from her. He was all she had in this hell hole. She surely wouldn't make it without him. She needed to be near him, to reassure him of her love she was sure he was doubting now, to remind him of her heart that he still held in his hands.

The chair that she was bounded to scraped across the floor as her ties loosened a bit. Sara couldn't help but hear the soft whimper that left Brian’s lips in reply to the noise. "Don't worry Bri, I'm coming...it...it'll be okay..." Without warning, her nose began to tingle with an inkling to cry.

Brian's only response was a heavy breath...followed by a few shorter, quicker ones.

"Bri?"

No response. Only constricted breathing. Growing louder and louder. Quicker and quicker.

"BRIAN!" Sara cried out, almost screaming at him. "You're scaring me!"

He wanted to stop. He could hear his wife. But the noise in his ears was so much louder.

The touches he still felt on his body was enough to want to keep her away from him. Safe from the contamination of his world. He wanted so bad for her to help him though, to tell him it was okay. That he was okay. But he wasn't. And that's when he began to panic.

Sara fought with her bounds until they finally broke. Her wrists felt as though they would disconnect from her arms and, although her wounds were beginning to open again, nothing could keep her from the lonely figure, spinning out of control. "Hang on, Bri..."

Brian jumped at a touch on his back. His naked back, bruised and scarred from his struggle days ago. Every nerve ending in his body was so sensitive that even his wife's touch made him want to choke on the regurgitations that he kept forcing down. "Don't..." He jerked involuntarily.

Sara kept moving the sheet, seeing his wounds for the first time. Bruises and cuts were painting his arms, face, and back in black and blue. She grimaced at the sight as a fresh batch of tears found their way into her scared brown eyes. She hadn't even seen the front of him yet and already her heart knew it was too much for her to take. Her fingers found their way on his arm, resting on his tattoo, the ink disfigured from lacerations on his skin.

"I'm making you dirty. Stop it..." Brian whispered, lost in his own world now, not wanting to feel emotion anymore. He wasn't that strong to handle any of it anymore. When his wife's hand didn't retreat, Brian felt himself longing more for her. "STOP IT!" He yelled, kicking his feet behind him and moving his arms as much as he could without too much pain.

"I can't, Brian."

"Yes you can! Hate me, Sara! I'm so nasty..." The man cursed in his head, hearing the sadness in Sara's voice.

"No..." She shook her head, bringing her hand gently down his arm to hold his hand.
"Because if I let go this time..." Her voice cracked. "I might lose everything. You..."

"QUIT IT! Damn it...just...fucking stop it!" Brian couldn't handle this. The pain. The love. The sounds that kept invading his mind. Sara. He tried his hardest to get off that bed...go sit in the corner...away from everyone. He couldn't contaminate anyone if he was alone.

His feet pushed against the end of the mattress and he was off. Soon after he had been able to stand up, a wave of dizziness and nausea smacked him down to the floor. Brian rolled over onto his back, defeated again, his body beginning to shake with sobs again. His panic gave way to helplessness. Hopelessness.

When he felt Sara's presence about him again, he didn't push her away. But he didn't accept her either. How could she not hate him after that? He just cheated on her...in front of her...had sex with another woman...and she still wanted to be with him. It was too much for his mind to process.

The girl kneeled down at her husband's feet, slipping his boxers up onto his hips, hoping the facet that he was naked wouldn't be brought to his attention. He was so ashamed already. Biting her lip, she wracked her brain for a way to bring him back to her.

"I...uh...I'm not mad, if that's what you think. And, I still love you. As much as I did before any of this. maybe even more because..." Sara stopped, laying down beside him, scared he would have an outburst again. "Because now I know how I'd feel if I ever...I ever lost you." She sniffed as the last words left her lips. She couldn't remember life without Brian. Being happy without him. It seemed damn near impossible now, after all they had given each other. After Emily. "Oh God, Bri, please...please don't leave us." She cried, clinging to his hand.

He couldn't say anything. He was so damned confused. He felt so guilty. So dirty. But so thankful that he still had Sara. Or was she just saying it to make him feel better. Silent tears slid down as he focused on a crack on the ceiling, like a mirror to the crack in his being, his dignity. Brian just wanted someone to make it better. Sara was the only one he could trust with that. She was the only one that knew...

"I'll try..." Brian murmured, allowing his wife to pull him closer. He reciprocated the action, Sara being his security blanket now, the only familiar thing in his broken world. "I don't wanna go, Sar. Please...please help...m-me." Even though he was allowing himself into her, he still felt so wrong inside.

"I will, baby. I'm here...for always." Sara felt herself lean against his chest, his heart beating wildly, his chest sweating with panic. In that moment, everything that he had been through shared itself with her and she felt the pain he was feeling. She understood and it made her hold on tighter, so scared of their future. Things begin to blur...

"I love you." Brian's body was still trembling against hers involuntarily. Even in his safest place, he was still scared to death. Scared to death. The phrase held too much possible truth. As his mind whirled with words and thoughts and fear, he realized Sara was restless against him. Quiet, yet moving.

Brian looked at her face just in time to see a pained look falling across her expression, one arm unwrapping from around him and grabbing her midsection.

"Baby..." He breathed. But he knew she wouldn't respond. he felt the panic creeping up on him again, his heart threatening to explode. And his security, his safe place...was trying to be taken from him.

His world once again out of control.

A/N: again...lol...please review....the next chapter will be wonderfuly evil...im leaving for coast gaurd training on friday morning...but sara will update when i can not....we have chapter 24 done...and waitin on sara for 25...slow girl i tell ya....but still love her....REVIEW!

Jenn

Jenn

EDIT!! We are looking for a part that should have been at the end of chapter 23 that i just realized was missing....once we find it i will just add it right here....and if we can't...i will tell you what is missing....

It felt like hours had passed before Nick fell asleep in Kevin's tight grasp. Kevin gently laid him down on the cold ground when he felt like he could no longer hold him up. His head was beginning to throb as things began to spin a bit.

"You holding up alright Kev?" Howie asked when he saw his friend close his eyes and take in a slow breath.

"I'll...um...be fine. This damn concussion is really starting to piss me off. I need to be able to do something to help, and I can't if I can't even fuckin see straight!" He closed his eyes in pain once more when he raised his voice.

"Let's not play hero right away Kevin. Even if we could, there's no way you could carry us all out of here. You need to think rationally." Howie said as he once again began to smooth Jenn's hair back, hoping that any kind of comfort would help her to come around.

Kevin didn't respond to his friend, he couldn't think of a response. Instead, he let his eyes wonder over to Nick. He looked like he had aged a couple of years over the past days of capture. it saddened Kevin to the very core to see his friend in this condition.

Howie's body tensed when jenn had suddenly began to shake in his arms. She was gripping him tightly as her eyes began to flutter open. "Kev, come over here. I think she's waking up."

Kevin was at their sides in a matter of seconds, just as Jenn's eyes fully opened.

A confused look crossed Jenn's face as she saw Howie's face fill her vision. She didn't understand why Howie was holding her, and not her Nick. Pulling her head up, she began searching for her husband.

"He's over there." Kevin's voice cut into her thoughts. Now she was really confused, why was Kevin here too. Looking over in the direction Kevin had pointed at, she saw Nick laid out on the ground. She felt tears prickling her eyes at the sight.

"He's gonna be fine Jenn, just fine." Howie said hoping that those words were true. "Soon we will all be out of here and everything will be back to normal."

Jenn just sadly shook her head as tears began to fall. She grabbed at her throat and shook her head, she knew deep down inside that she would never have use of her voice again.

Kevin and Howie both looked at her in confusion. "Sure it will hun," Kevin spoke. He watched as she shook her head harder. That's when he realized taht she hadn't spoken a word. "Can you...can you not talk?" He asked, his breath catching in his chest.

Jenn sadly shook her head no, not really knowing what else to do.

"Did Rick have anything to do with it?!" Kevin asked through gritted teeth. He was answered by a nod of her head. This sent anger straight to Kevin, hadn't these people done enough to them already.

***

"Oh God, it hurts!" Sara cried out as she off the bed and onto the floor.

Brian felt the panic welling up in his chest when he heard her cry out, her arms wrapped tightly across her midsection. He held back though, he needed to hold her. He followed her off the bed and pulled her to him. The feeling that he was making her dirty, was making him dizzy. "I'm here baby."

"I...I..." She groaned out in pain, leaning deeper into his grasp. She couldn’t understand what was going on with her. Thoughts of Kara poisoning her came to mind, but when, was what she was wondering.

Brian softly began to rock, whether it was for his comfort or hers, it felt comforting to both of them. "Shhh, it's gonna be okay, just take a deep breath." He didn't believe the words coming from his mouth. Hadn't Sara just been saying the same things to him?

Sara tried to breathe, she really did, but it just hurt so much. Everything was beginning to blur together when she felt Brian's body tense. She saw the outline of someone coming towards them, but when the voice spoke she knew who it was.

"Was Kara not enough for you pretty boy, you selfish bitch." Rick sneered as he stopped in front of them.

Brian didn't respond to the larger man, he just continued to rock. He knew Rick was talking to him, but all he could hear was the roaring sound that was invading his ears. It wasn't until a swift kick to his side made him realize that Rick was ready to take them back to the main room. The thought of everyone seeing him dirty brought tears to his eyes.

"You fuckin cry baby! Pick her ass up and follow me!" Rick yelled as he headed to the door. When he saw Brian hesitating, a smile appeared on his face. "Unless you want me to take her."

That caused Brian to quickly get up with his wife in his arms. He slowly made his way towards Rick.

"That's what I thought Pretty Boy, that's what I thought."

****

Kevin and Howie were trying their hardest to keep Jenn calm and awake, but as more tears fell, the weaker she was becoming. "Please Jenn, just stay with us." Howie pleaded.

Jenn sniffled a bit at the sad tone in Howie's voice. She couldn't believe Rick and Kara had brought Kevin and Howie there too. Her heart ached to think that everyone was involved now. Reaching over, she grabbed Howie's hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

Howie responded with a tight lipped smile as he squeezed her hand back. For a moment they both felt a peacefulness surround them, then it was broken as a sob came from the doorway.

Jenn felt her heart in her throat at the sight of Brian and Sara. She had never seen Brian look so...broken. She began to wonder just how long they had been here, Brian just didn't look like the same person. Then when his eyes connected with hers and she saw taht his sparkle was gone, she got that hopeless feeling.

As Brain was roughly shoved back into that room, and he saw that Jenn's eyes were open, he felt relief wash over him. But once their eyes met he knew she knew what he had done, she knew that he was dirty.

Brian was once again shoved from behind by Rick, who was irritated that the smaller man was walking so slow. "Hurry up faggot!"

This time Brian wasn't able to catch himself as him and Sara crashed to the ground. Cries came from both of them, the pain from the fall finally causing Sara to pass out. Brian scrambled back up and pulled her into his embrace.

Suddenly everything took a turn for the worse. Everyone watched in shock as Kevin attacked Rick. Kevin ran at the man, pushing him up against the wall, swinging with everything he had. Unfortunately, due to his head injury, he was sluggish in his attack.

This allowed Rick to be able to get away from the offending man.

"You stupid Bitch!" Rick yelled at Kevin as he pushed him off of him.

Kevin hadn't even thought of Rick's men coming in there, and they easily took him down.

Kevin as then able to hear Howie and Brian's yells, afraid for him. The dizzyness had completely taken kevin now as he flet himself being placed against the wall, his hands being tied tightly behind his back. Then he felt himslef being lifted off of the ground, and then placed on an unsteady surface. As he tried to get his bearings, and his vision to clear, he felt something placed around his neck.

"Oh God, you can't do this!" Howie yelled from across the room, seeing them placing a rope around Kevin's neck. He let out another cry as some of the men had made it over to him and Jenn, and roughly pulled her away from him. He couldn't do anything though, not with his leg.

Brian let out a similar cry as Sara was pulled away from his grasp. His chest was tightening, he was having a hard time breathing. He wasn't even aware that he was being dragged across the floor.

The men made their way around the room, tying them all up as best as they cold. They weren't gonna let what just happened, happen again. Howie was placed up against the wall, his hands tied behind his back, he was fighting for consciousness though, they had tied his legs together. Now he was seeing everything through a pain filled foog. Nick had his hands tied up above his head against the wall, like they had done earlier to him. He was starting to show signs of waking up, his face grimacing in pain. Jenn had been tied up on the floor, luckily for her they left her hands in front of her, she hadn't given them any resistance. Kevin was up on his tip toes, trying to keep the rope from cutting off his air supply, they had left him no room for error.

"Let this be a lesson, fuck with me, you WILL pay for it!" Rick sneered as he looked at them all. "I will be back in a few minutes, hopefully by then you'll be hanging there for all to see." Rick finished with a laugh as he closed the door behind him.

Kevin was terrified of what he knew was about to be the end for him, "I was stupid, I'm sorry." Kevin said to whom ever was listening as he struggled to keep his balance.

Cries were heard from around the room, the sight being too much for any of them too take. Then it happened, and everyone let out a sob.

Kevin tried his best to stay upright, but soon the dizziness got to him as he felt his feet go out from underneath him.

A/N: Ok now everyone...I am leaving in the morning for Coast Guard training....but Sara will do the updates for a bit...also...I have written the next part to this....and now its up to Sara to continue that chapter...and its been like 6 months....so the more reviews the more i swear she will write....and i know...this is a BAD cliffy...she just needs the motivation....ill miss everyone for a while...but i will still be able to send sara my parts....REVIEW!

Jenn

ok...this isnt really an update...but im letting you all know that i added the end to chapter 22...i think...that was missing...its really good so give it a read....

Im now back from Hawaii...and im not going back...so i have all the time i want to write and post...so expect updates any time now...i have a few new things...and some updates on things too...so keep your eye open....

If anyone is still reading this...please let us know so we know we are doing this for someone other than ourselves...

Sorry about the lack of updates...but real life sometimes sucks and gets in the way....

Love you all....keep reading and watching for more!!

Jenn and Sara!