“Another Reflection”

~Prologue~

If anyone can ever answer this crazed question of what it feels like to live in someone’s shadow then I would be more than happy to inform you. Until yesterday I thought I was my own man and I know I am but then I see him…

I have these days where I wake up and wonder what’s wrong with people, how can they be so happy when in one quick instance, in a moment: a second, a hour, a day: they can be gone, taken off this planet without a second thought. Isn’t it funny how that goes? Wars have been around since the beginning, hell even the Bible talks about wars all the time. Funny, I grew up in church and now look at me. I bet momma is so proud of her little boy. I always thought I had to be the best in everything and when that didn’t work out, fuck I decided I take matters into my own hands and make it the way it should be.

I’m not God but dammit I can change this world little by little starting with the person next to me.

Until yesterday I thought I was the only child…then I see this…this little fuck up on television. I never heard of him until yesterday. Not much into this whole popular music shit that people listen to it. I’m more a hardcore metal fan: it seems to bring the devil out of me and I kind of like it too. My mother was never into it nor could she handle the loud screaming and heavy beats that music infused me with. But I didn’t pay her any mind: she just didn’t get it.

Until yesterday I could look into the mirror and think nothing of it, knowing I was in full control of everything and if the law believed they had a control of me, they’re in for some rude awakening.

So this is my story, I was told it would be better to write it down since no one will believe me. Fucking crazy psychiatrist is more insane than I am and yet he was so gullible to believe that writing this down will ease my rage…he has another thing coming to him.

I opted for plastic surgery, anything to get this resemblance away from me, but when you’re in prison no one hears you. I’m just number 425 to the assholes here. I have a name though, a real one given to me on my birth. Xavier…though who would have thought I have a sibling…a sibling that looks just like me.
~**~

**~To Be Continued~**

-Ok this is how I’ll have this story set up since as to be no confusion, every other chapter is coming from a one of the two men’s point of view. Only Xavier and Howie will have that. So this chapter to get you guys acquainted with: is Howie’s POV.

“Distant Faces”

~Chapter One: My Side of the world

The soft cushion was comforting as I felt close to drifting off into a nap that I needed with our crazy schedule. I was glad we got some time off now to recuperate from the insanity that our beloved fans bring us. Exhaling a soft sigh in relief, I let myself welcome the slumber I needed for the past few days. Since we were rehearsing for the new fall tour, sleep was something we needed to sneak in cause we barely had time to wipe our butts right with how constricted everything in an orderly fashion occurred.

There was a soft itch coming from my right arm as I welcomed the dream world in my slumber. I was tempted to scratch the itch away so I can go back to my rest but I was so dead tired, the thought of opening my eyes to ruin my sleep just sounded wrong. Again I felt the slight tickle on my right elbow it was now becoming annoying. Then the itch left as if whatever was the cause of it had gone which to my relief didn’t interrupt my slumber. After a few moments I felt a soft tickle as if a feather was brushing up against my cheek. Shifting around on the sofa I raise my right hand to brush away the itch when I realized my hand had something on it. Opening my eyes, I sit up to see the other four group members howling with laughter as my whole right side of my face is smeared in honey and whip cream.

I looked up to see Nick grinning, holding a white feather, waving it before me as if to tease me with it.

“Haha, real funny guys.” I muttered, trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes. Brian wiggles his eyebrows, giving the tall blonde man a high five on it as Kevin settles into the lounge chair in my suite.

“Lighten up man. You were asking for it.” Nick beams, his light eyes sparkling mischievously towards me.

“Yeah yeah I’m fine. I’ll get ya back. Revenge is sweet.” I simply state, looking at the others.

“Howie’s mad. Look at him trying to make threats now.” A.J. cracks up, holding his side as he takes his shades off to peer at me.

At his comment the others snicker and I felt a playful ruffle in my hair from Brian as he dances away towards the kitchenette heavily stacked with foods of all kind.

I love these guys, they’re my second family and as goofy as Nick is or as serious Kevin can get, we all seem to fit and mesh well with each other. It was great being back on the road after a good four to five year break. We all needed it to find ourselves and step back from all the fame to really appreciate what we’ve accomplished throughout the years as a group. Like any family, we’ve had our up and downs and still managed to keep it together. And for that, I’m a lucky guy, I don’t think I could imagine my life without these knuckleheads.

“See there he goes not listening now. I knew Nick was rubbing off on him.” A.J. leans back on the plush white couch across from me.

I blinked and realized I had zoned out for the past few seconds as they were talking to me. Normally that’s Nick job, but somehow today I was the one using it. “Heh, I’m listening…”

“Oh yeah what did I just say then mister suave?” Kevin raises his thick eyebrows.

Blinking, I smile and look at each of their faces to see if I can guess what was being talked about. I’m not a bad liar, I hated to do it unless it was under circumstances but I preferred the truth. There was something about it that makes life just a little easier.

“Oh yeah…well you were talking…and yeah…you were talking…” I blurted out as Nick claps his hands in amazement, falling off the side of the couch in hysterics.

“What are you laughing at? I’m still a little out of it. Cut me some slack.” I mumble out, sitting back against the couch, crossing my arms before me on my chest.

“Well…pay attention next time. I said we’re going to a party tomorrow night, it’s a charity to help raise money for the relief funds and we’re doing a little performance. I was asking what songs should we do that would be connected to the topic of that party without pissing people off.” Kevin raises his thick eyebrows, eyeing me with those thick bushes above his eyes.

“Oh…well a nice song…since its to raise money, what about…” I stop talking as A.J. jumps in, cutting me off as usual. I was used to it, it didn’t matter to me as long as someone answered the question. Though I could have been warned at least if he was gonna do that.

“Er sorry Howie. I had the song and I didn’t want it to leave my thoughts.” A.J. smiles: tugging on his shades, taking them off to tuck it onto the collar of his shirt.

“No its fine. That’s a good song. I gotta find the lyrics though I can’t remember what comes after one of the lines.” I state between yawns. Yeah I was tired recently and it was hard for me to stay focus on anything when in the middle of a nap. But I tried and hey at least I didn’t pass out like I did the last time during a large conference with the president of our music company. That was beyond embarrassing as the only thing I can recall was me falling off one of the chairs deep in sleep as everyone surrounded me looking down at me. I had opened my eyes as everyone including the president of the company was peering down at me curiously. I didn’t know what else to say on that as I had cleared my throat, excusing myself for water so I could wake up. I tell you, at times it’s a risk losing sleep but this is what happens when I picked this path. And I don’t hold any regrets on it.

After the brief meeting, I slump back into the sofa eager to catch up on sleep when Nick decided he wanted to talk to me out of the rest of the guys. Normally, he runs to A.J. or Brian first. But for some reason, he was up to something and took a seat besides me smiling.

“What?” I grunt out keeping a sharp eye on the fair headed man.

“You ain’t get no sleep or something that you were out of it today?” Nick asks concerned.

Shaking my head, I lean back letting my body sink into the soft plush white sofa around me. “I was trying to get some when you guys came here. That was the reason why I came back here but you all decided to follow me.”

“Cause if we didn’t, you would have missed the little meeting and be lost. And a lost Howie is quite entertaining.” A.J. pipes up, sipping some cola right off the can. He pours the cold liquid into a glass cup, handing it to me. “It’ll get you up, you can sleep later. I say we go out and have some fun. When was the last time we went out together as a group?”

“Too long if you ask me.” Kevin rest his hand on his leg that was propped up on his other thigh, looking around.

“Ahh good, we’ll need it. Come on Howie! Time to party!” A.J. starts yanking at my arm.

“Guys, I’m really not up for it. I just want to sleep. Is that too much to ask?” I grumble out. Honestly all I was asking for was just a good hour nap or something, anything so I wouldn’t be out of it for the rest of the day. I had too many things in my mind and most of the time I’m so restless and sleep is limited. I still get teased about the time when we were filming for the video “Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely” when I managed to sleep standing up during the set. Crazy I know, but I was dead tired and I like sleeping at times.

“Ahh you gotta ruin it. Fine sleeping beauty sleep away we’re gonna have a party without you.” Brian snickers, exiting my room as the others slowly follow and exit. After a minute I sit up looking to see if the guys had all left and sure enough Nick was there looking over at me with a grin, sitting across from me.

“No you’re not gonna convince me.” I blurt out, knowing that was the reason the youngest member was still hanging around here.

“Relax man. I say you should come. You’ll like it. And you can sleep there if you want, you have the ability to sleep anywhere right?” He grins sheepishly, standing up taking my arm up in the process.

Smirking, I shake my head: “I’m not in a party mood tonight. But you go and have fun for me. Knowing A.J. I’m sure you’ll forget I’m not even there.”

“Awww…what’s sad is you’re probably right.” Nick heads to the door, “But I’ll bring you back a doggy bag.”

“Ah gee thanks. I feel so loved.” The sofa pillows behind me start poking at my lower back.

“No problem.” Nick snickers, exiting my room as I sigh out in relief and look down to see I still have some whip cream splattered across my shirt and jeans. Finally after much thought and consideration I managed to get off the couch to clean myself off and settle down on the bed for a nice long awaited nap cause I needed it.
~*~

The brash sound kept going off in my dream and I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. The ringing noise was sounding off as if around me and I dug my head under the pillow trying to block it out. Realizing it was my cell going off, I dig my hand out of the white cotton covers to snatch it up looking at the caller ID. It was a private number that wasn’t listed in my address book so I don’t feel like answering it. Tossing the phone aside I sigh in relief as I let sleep back into my world.
~*~

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, heh one minute I’m completely somber and the next I think I lost it. I’m standing on a table with a bull-horn shouting bingo numbers to a table of middle age people looking at me like I was insane. Blame the liquor, not my fault I can’t handle it well. I told the guys I don’t like drinking too much cause I don’t want to get wasted. And you know what they did. They got me wasted. Its two thirty in the morning at the club, and here I was acting like an idiot and not giving a care in the world about it. Brian seemed to be enjoying it the most, seeing this side of me. Nick thought it was hoot and was already feeling a little tipsy himself as he swayed on the bar stool drowning down a shot.

Kevin watched us all make a complete ass of ourselves as he gaze at us like a disapproved guardian. A.J. the only somber one left in the group snickers, shaking his head as he pulls out a digital camera capturing us in this dazed mood. It seemed after I managed to get a good night sleep, the following day the guys wanted to go and celebrate just for the hell of it and plus it was Kevin’s birthday and for once I felt good knowing I’m not as old. I stumble over to Kevin grinning as I dip my finger into the green icing of the large rectangular cake, smearing some of it on his nose and chin. “There we go birdie! Time to fly!” I shout out causing the others to snicker in laughter.

What the hell did I drink that I’m so drunk? This isn’t normally me but I do like to let go out at times and I needed a stress reliever fast. All the planning was getting to me and I was finally convinced by Nick to come out to a club with them. So here I am, gazing at Kevin, barely able to stand on my own two feet as Kevin shakes his head, his eyes narrow at me as if I should know better. But do I have to always be chummy and all smiles. No. I mean sure I’m all for if life hands you lemons make lemonade but I need to be able go out and have some fun right? This is the only fun I can have beyond the tour. I like my life and I say you only live once so I want to be able to take advantage of it while I’m still young. Or heh: at least before I reach Kevin’s age. So I lean on the counter as a waitress walks by eyeing us oddly and blinks, staring directly at me before running off.

A fan I guess, we get a variety of fans: its like different ingredients: we get the loud crying ones, the mute silent ones that can only smile and wave and then there are those that freak out and run off, like the waitress just did. I’m so used to it, I didn’t think anything more of it as Kevin starts cutting up the cake, giving each of us a piece.

Remind me to never listen to Nick again, I think I’m getting too old to go out to clubs: the liquor and I will be having quite the conference tomorrow morning in the bathroom.

The waitress comes back, gasping as she looks pass the others and stand there whispering something to another woman, this one much taller and darker hair who frowns at my direction.

Okay, so maybe they’re not fans but why are they looking at me so oddly? The waitress seems almost bothered with my presence at the club and she’s been antsy around me since I came in. Hope she isn’t one of those bashers. I tend to get picked out from the group often cause I’m so nice and people just want to put a few jabs at me cause I’m the “sweet” one, the one that wouldn’t say anything bad to you in your face. But I take it as I leave it and simply brush it off. Hell, I was the one the media picked out as the ‘gay” one since it seems every “boy band” has one. But I love women like I love food. Every type is perfect and I couldn’t ask for a more perfect girlfriend then I have now. So the media can go screw themselves for all I want. They seem to like picking out the crop and going after someone and for our group I tend to be that target for that and if you want a party boy they’ll go after Nick since A.J. gave up that lifestyle to stay out of their way.

The waitress keeps eying me at this point and I was beginning to get uncomfortable. “Guys…I think I’m gonna head out now.” I stumble towards the exit of the club as A.J. snorts yelling out its too early to leave.

But I didn’t want to stay around if I’m getting weird looks from people. Besides I’m too wasted to be standing around, I can almost taste what I ate this morning and that’s never a good thing. Nick takes my arm, leading me out of the club as I can feel that woman’s piercing stares at me even as I left the place.
~**~

**~To Be Continued…~**

“Distant Faces”


**~Chapter Two: Movement Underground

A harsh light beams down almost blinding me, again I was startled from my sleep and I was getting peeved with it. Why must the guards assume I’m up to something? I can’t even fucking sleep without them checking up on me. They use the same excuse always:

That they have to make sure no one is carrying a weapon so they bothered checking every single person in the cell. Hell if you think about it, I got off pretty clean compared to the some of the lame bastards here locked up. Some of them kept saying they were innocent as they were getting pushed into a cell. But haha what a laugh, when you’re in this shitty system, innocence means nothing. If that was the case then if I’m innocent even with the two felonies and a misdemeanor under my belt.

I manage to get up from the flimsy cot I’ve been resting on for the past few hours.

‘Time to eat, 425.” The gruff guard states, slamming open the cell. He kept shining that fucking light in my face as I stumble off disoriented. If I was close enough to him, I would have shove that damn flashlight down his throat already.

“I’m coming.” I gruffly grumble out, making my way out of the cell. I shared the cell with another man, but he was barely there. He was either too passed out or too high to know I’m even around him at times. Drugs was something I was never into. Hell I was smart enough to stay out of that pathway. I wasn’t going to get myself hooked on no shit like that. I mean yeah I tried every drug that was available around here, but I didn’t want nothing to do with it after that first taste. I know I could have been an addict if I kept trying some more, but I didn’t want to screw up my parole and doing/selling drugs was enough to lock you up for another seven to fifteen years. I didn’t need that under my belt, I had enough issues to deal with.

The guard slaps on the cuffs on me as he leads the way downstairs to a badly lit metal cafeteria down the hallway. We looked like pumpkins ripe for the picking in our bright orange stupid ass uniforms as trays of pig slop piled up on a counter to my right. It smelled rancid, I couldn’t stand it, its like someone let the food rot and was planning on letting us eat it anyway. If I didn’t die from being locked up, I would die from food poisoning at this rate.

I managed to get a clean tray piling on some fruits and warm oatmeal. The only thing that was normal around here. I make my way down the line of prisoners as I grab a pint size carton of white milk and a plastic spoon heading towards a table at the end of the room located on the right side. Already there were a few heads there, eating away without a care in a world.

You can call them friends, but I don’t like that word. It sounds almost volatile to the tongue. You can’t trust anyone but yourself in this fucked up place and I learned that from the beginning.

A balding older man snaps his head up at me, gulping: the fear under his eyes as he watches me take a seat across from him.

“X…you made it. I thought you would take a day off from being here.” The man responds, eyeing his food carefully.

I smirk, feeling the metal cuffs dig into my wrists as I rip the plastic off the spoon. “Yeah…surprise, surprise…how’s that grits crap tasting?” I eye his plate and frown. It looked like vomit, the way the thick oats clumped up in bumps. I would rather prefer my non-lumpy stuff compared to his. Half of the cooks here don’t know what they’re doing in the kitchen anyways, some of them just wanted to ‘volunteer’ to help out here. But I knew better. The way they would look at us like animals with no hearts, the way they would whisper to one another whenever a prisoner walks past them. They didn’t care about this prison system or us. They would much rather make sure we don’t leave and keep an eye out for us.

“It’s…its ok I guess.” The man whispers out, he looked worn out as if prison was sucking the life away from him. I remember when he first got in: he was scared out of his mind. He was a first time felony, caught in that drug mess out there carrying 4 pints of that white shit when the police arrested him. He claimed he was innocent, that it was a set up, that his so called friend told him to hold the stuff while he himself went to sell some stuff nearby.

Of course, he was played. His so-called friend left the scene of the crime as the 5-0 busted him. Some friend he had huh? This is why I never had friends, or more likely coined that term. Cause friends don’t exist when you the one in trouble. They’re the first ones to leave, which goes to show you how messed up this world is.

I lean back in the rickety chair, chewing on a mint toothpick, the only nice thing that they have around here as the older man looked up at me. “You’s gonna eat your oatmeal?”

“Yeah hands off fatty. I got this. You finish your crap. I’m hungry, I’m eating mines.” I grunt out as the younger man sitting besides me breaks into a snicker. He had beady eyes that slat and were always narrowed, his red carrot colored hair sat styled in spikes. They called him Carrot top, but it wasn’t for his hair. He was the drug dealer within the prison. He placed red berries and bags of coke together in his hair…hence the name. Yeah…people still do it in here: hell the guards lit up a few rolls every once in a while. Which is the reason why Carrot was still in business. He gets his stuff mailed to him, up here in Attica Correctional Facility. I was caught doing illegal transactions in Florida a year ago and they send me here to New York. Attica is one of the grimiest places around I’ve been in. Not like the jails down south, the people up here are too doped on rules that I get more time here than anywhere else. Pretty fucked up if I should say so myself.

Carrot snickers, crossing his arms on his chest as he looks over to Uber, one of the nicest inmates around. I never got that why that kid was so nice in a world of insanity here. But he was, people say its cause he’s slow…retarded to a point that maybe he just didn’t understand the repercussions of his actions. Which could be why he never got out, simply because the ones in charge here thought he didn’t understand his actions yet.

So I’m in jail…again…I hate this world and yet I keep coming back to it cause there’s nothing out there for me to do or turn to. My family wants nothing to do with me after I got locked up again the second time. It broke my mom’s heart when I was sent off to jail. But I couldn’t help it. It was like I had to do what I had to do and if I was caught…which I was. It would be worth it. I have my violent tendencies at times. I can snap like any other person when I’m under pressure and I can physically attack someone when the time is needed. But I never killed anyone. No…as much as I wanted to take the life away from so many people before hand, I never had the heart to do it. Not sure why really…maybe there’s a soft spot in me. I don’t like to call that out, but it could be that, other wise why not take up a Beretta and blast some sucker out when they needed it. Maybe I am soft…who cares…

Uber smiles at me, the lovable fart looked like a kid trapped in an adult man’s body. His big gray eyes and squished up nose makes him look like a cabbage patch doll gone wrong. He’s pale compared to the bastards locked up here, pretty ivory colored, which is why he’s the Uber Ivory…heh. Stupid ass name. People give each other names here to form some kind of alliance…almost a friendship if I should have to say. They’re not my friends…no. I like talking to them though, they let me be me. I don’t have to hide behind the bars or listen to the bitches here tell me what to do. For that one moment at the table, I can be me…Xavier, the smart one of the group.

Uber leans forward on the table towards us three gleaming like a kid at a candy shop: “Guys you know what I was looking at?”

Carrot raises his eyebrows, he leans against the chair eyeing the man.

Joey was still slurping down his plate greedily eating as he looks over at Uber, talking between bites: “What’s that?”

Uber grins, pointing to a 24 inch color television set propped in the corner of the room. I squint, trying to get closer to the screen. I think I was beginning to lose my eye sight, I could barely make out what’s being shown. I get up from the seat as I see a guard run over to me grimacing, holding out a gun at me as I raise my eyes. One movement and they all go insane. I can’t even scratch my ass without them all assuming I’m going to do something. I walk towards the television, taking just a few steps to it as the guard shouts out for me to take a seat.

“I can’t see the tv…I’m just moving a little closer to see it, that’s it.” I ease the security down. The guard glares at me as I get closer to the tv set, stopping to look above me at the news. I blink and smirk, seeing my face on it…

But wasn’t me…no…no it was my brother…my long lost brother…momma didn’t say there was another me…I was adopted by her as she told me when I was getting locked up the second time over a year ago. She didn’t tell me much more until I did the research on it. It was only yesterday or a few days ago that I found out. I so happened to work in a department of making those trashy cheap jewelry little kids wear out there. One of them was of a group…some music group I never really paid mind too…until I saw my face starting right back at me. I kept the necklace in my cell and looked it over confused, trying to figure out why I have a brother when I was told I was the only child in my family. But this man…this other me…he had a brother and sisters, a mother and father…all a big happy family. He was famous, he sang, he did music, hell he even went into real estates. He’s fucking wealthy rich for doing crap. And here I was, locked up for making a simple wrong choice. He was a celebrity in his own name and women would scream his name out when he did concerts with his band members.

I can get women to scream my name but it takes my dick for that to happen. And being locked up here for a year deprives me of any social contact with women unless it was the lady serving the food here. So I guess I’m stunned by the whole news…seems my mother confessed that over thirty one years ago when she was giving birth to her son, the docs screwed her over giving her one of the children from the lady that had twins…

I was given to her. I love my mom, she’s the best thing God could have ever created for me in this pathetic life and it gave me a reason to life. So when I see this other person looking like me I feel cheated of life. I could have been in his place…I could have been the wealthy one, the one that would make women and girls of all ages eyes light up at the sight of me…but I wasn’t. I was locked up here behind bars like a rat in a maze. Going around circles only to end up back where I started: behind bars.

I just blink, almost hypnotized at the tv set as this man…my so called brother started speaking surrounded by four other men. They call themselves the Backstreet Boys…what a laugh. They did shitty music for the public and they’re famous. Goes to show how messed up this world really is. I hear Uber jump out yelling out something.

I glance over at him as he stands up happily pointing to the tv. “X look, its you! You on tv!” He bounces around as Carrot and Joey stare stunned at the tv.

“That ain’t you man! You don’t know those guys. You here with us.” Joey shouts out, wiping the slop off his lips.

Uber frowns, still pointing to the screen: “No its X! Its X, he’s out there on the tv set and he’s all happy. Look at you X all smiling.” He grins sheepishly, looking over at my direction.

I guess I’m just stunned to see that, to see that I really do have another person out there. That it was possible for me to have a twin…or someone that was identical to my appearance. I just stand there fascinated with the other me. He seemed all bubbly and laid back. And he was nice…something that I didn’t take into consideration when I got into prison. They call him sweet D…what the fuck was that? He was shaking some fans hands and I watch him and the other men wave to the mass as they exit a stage. The entertainment news changes into another music artist as I blink, shaking my head standing there confused.

So it was true…all those lies or what I assume where lies were really true. I have a brother out there and he was the only way to my freedom…
~*~


My watch died a while back, I tried putting batteries in it but to no avail. No one in this stupid hell hole knew of anyone that can fix it. So I was stuck with the time of 12:37 in the afternoon locked in my watch. That was the last time I was outside with some of my buddies before being locked up this third time. That was the last taste of freedom I had since and that time reminded me of it.

Do I hate want I did that I’m in this predicament again? No, its my life, this is how I live it. Some people will never understand it and assume its wrong. But I say don’t count your eggs before they hatch. Life has an odd way of twisting things around and I wouldn’t be surprised if those people are screwed over by now.

I look over at the jerk off that’s passed out yet again in the same cell I’m in. Dinky is the name he told me, his real name is David though. He was caught up in a gang bust a while back and was locked up here before I joined him in the cell.

A guard walks by in his tired blue attire, waving a thick baton, scraping it across our cell startling Dinky. He grunts, his small dark eyes seem to take in his surroundings before sitting up.

The security guard snickers, tipping his navy blue cap at us. If the bars weren’t there I was excited to get my hands around his neck and take out the air from ever reaching that man’s body again. I have evil tendencies granted…but it was people like that, that drove it out.

“425…it looks like your lucky day. Commission is considering giving you parole in the next week or so. You’re gonna have an nice talk with you lawyer now since after all this is your freedom we’re talking about.” The stock guard grins, tapping the baton like bat against the metal bars.

“You serious? Or you yanking my chain here?” I whisper out, heading over to the bars, my eyes looking the man over.

The guard yawns, nodding his head: “Yeah…I’m gonna let you meet your lawyer now just so you know its real.”

I smirk holding back a laugh: I get parole finally. Meaning I’m gaining my freedom back. Everything I lost I can now gain back…and things are looking better already with my little brother out there.

Dinky bolts up from the cot in shock, shaking his head: “Hey wait up! How come he gets to go! I’m still doing my time. That’s unfair.”

“Get over it, you asked for it. Life ain’t fair.” The guard glares at him as he unlocks the cell, sliding it open enough for me to step out.

I look over at Dinky and smile: “Your time will come man. Relax.”

“But I want out too!” Dinky stands up, the tall lanky man frowns, watching my every step as I follow the guard down the hallway. I hear the other inmates shout out things, thinking I was either going down the infamous green mile or to freedom. In reality, those are the only two ways of leaving the place. Either you get your life in order and get parole or screw things up more by getting the death penalty.

I smile feeling good again. I could already smell the fresh air and the wind touching my face. Visions of the pebbled cement and honking of cars as people rush around me to their lives seemed more real now. I was waiting for this for a year and today was my day. I wasn’t going to rush back to jail…no…I got plans now. And it’s all thanks to Howie as he’s called. Heh, how funny life can be.
~**~

**~To Be Continued…~**

“Distant Faces”


**~Chapter Three: Just Another Day

It was really great to lie back and let the morning sun wake me up. Its been a while since I had the chance to wake up at whatever time I felt like before rushing off to do something for the press, media, tour, rehearsals, conference or fans. But today, yes today was my day off. In fact since our recent tour just let up, I’m back in my house living it up in California. I like the idea of lying back and catching up on some sleep, I mean who doesn’t.

The warm air outside filters through the open slide glass door I left ajar last night from my balcony. I hear the soft meowing of my black and white cat Federline as he runs into my room hopping up on the counter. He was a stray cat Nick found when we all came back to California last night and he insisted I name the poor thing that name. Heh, I’m sure there’s a joke within it, you get the idea.

The cat’s slick fur glistened in the early sun rays as he paws at me indicting he wanted food. I honestly wanted to shove the cat away but I’m in a nice mood, so he’s lucky. Sitting up, I toss the cool crisp covers aside, getting up from the bed as I pad my way over to the bathroom. After freshening up, I start to make my way down the hallway feeling the cat’s tail encircle my ankles.

I don’t know why I offered to take the feline in, none of the other guys were eager to take him and I really didn’t want another animal since I’m barely home at times. But cats can adapt, I’ll figure something out.

I almost trip over the large cat before me as I head to the exclusively designed kitchen. It’s amazing what money can get you. Every little thing I ever wanted as a child I can afford now. But most of my money is saved up. Isn’t it weird? Normally people would go out and spend it. But I have different plans for the money set aside. I want to be able to save up for my future family, to be able to get whatever my child wants that I never had. And most of all to provide for my girl: my princess.

I stroll into the kitchen, tugging on my boxers as I see a note she left behind. She went out for groceries. Heh the last time I did that I was tackled by girls over a can of Spaghetti O’s, ok well it was more they wanted to touch me than the can but you get the drift. Federline starts biting my ankle softly as if rushing me to open the food already. I don’t know if I even had any cat food at the moment but I started my search, opening every dark mahogany cabinet around the kitchen I have until I spot a bag of dry cat food in one. Grabbing it, I flip on the radio as I go in search of a plate or something to feed the cat that was now biting my leg as if it was a piece of ham.

I fling the cat off me gently as I pour the food into a glass plate, setting it down before him. The cat leaps to the plate immediately devouring the food. “Damn…hungry little pussy you are.”

Stretching my arms overhead I hear the soft cracking of my limbs letting the sleep finally ease its way out of my body. Finding some eggs, I decide to make a sandwich and I busily work at finding the ingredients, the news humming softly in the background. While I was padding down the omelet after fighting in how to make it, I eat lost in thought, the news murmuring in the background. The sound of the phone in the hallway blinks me out of my thoughts and I munch on the omelet, Federline gazing at me as if he too wanted some of the food.

“Bad cat. Its mine.” I manage to eat the last bite, shoving it in my mouth as I answer the phone: “Eyro.” I mumble chewing on my food as snickering is heard on the other line.

“Haha bro got your mouth full I see.” I hear Nick’s playful voice on the other line snicker. “Swallow.” He cracks up as I roll my eyes finishing the sandwich.

I smile, swallowing as I lean on the wall: “Heh…shut up. What is it?”

“Hey you swallowed.” Nick snickers. “Kevin just finished calling me. Thought you might wanna take interest in the news recently.”

“Eh why? Pearlman starting up with us again?”

“Oh no no screw him. This is something that I think you might want to take interest in if anything.” Nick states excitedly, gripping the phone in his hands.

“Uh you gonna tell me or should I just take a wild guess.” I scratch my head covering up a yawn.

“Dude just turn it on to ABC real quick, they’re covering a prison issue and I think you might wanna check it out.”

I exhale, rolling my eyes as I walk into one of the many rooms the house has, this one my study hall quickly turning on the television to the channel. “Uh ok what am I suppose to look at?”

“Shh just watch man.” Nick grins, drumming his fingers on the table.

I have no idea what Nick is thinking, but I plop on the leather office seat, gazing at the plasma screen flashing images of an upstate prison somewhere in the Eastern side of the country. I was about to turn off the tv ready to tell Nick to go bother A.J. or someone else when I blink and stand up gazing at the screen. I take a few more steps closer to the screen cause I thought I was imagining things. In the background of the reporter talking about the lack of health care within the prison setting, I see a group of prisoners sitting at a table playing cards. One of them stood out.

“Hey D…D you there? You watching? Howieeeeeeeeeeeee say something man you there?” Nick frowns, gazing at his nails.

I blink managing to whisper out: “I’m here…”

“Heh…you see the guy in the back right? Doesn’t he look a lot like you?”

“Big time. That’s a bit freaky.” I run a hand through my hair stunned by the minor revelation. “Well, there goes my twin.”

“They always say someone has another person out there in this world that looks just like them.” Nick taps his free hand on a counter amused.

“Well ain’t that something. And who are they Nick?”

“Huh? I don’t know but they always say that though.”

“Right but I mean who are they?” I grin knowing this was going to confused the man quickly.

“They the people. You know…they.” Nick shrugs, gazing at his tv set as I hear him cracking his knuckles nervously.

“Uh huh…that’s what I thought. They heh.” I smirk hearing Nick getting annoyed on the other end.

“Hey! Wait…you were picking on me!” Nick frowns as I start to snicker easily amused with him.

“Haha.” I watch the screen gazing at the group of men in the background, one of them staring at the camera as I blink. That face. I know that face. It’s my face and it was staring into the camera, almost as if he knew, that other me, that other face knew I could be watching. Getting a sudden eerie feeling, I shut off the tv walking out of the room as Nick starts to ramble on about something a girl did to him the other day.

I was barely listening at this point, the whole image from the television remained implanted in my mind while I shuffle to the den hearing the front door knock. “Uh look, Nick I gotta let you go, someone’s at my door.”

“Who’s at your door?! Dude you have a freaking gate and alarm security set miles off the house.” Nick blurts out annoyed about the idea of me hanging up on him.

“Yeah you’re right, its probably one of the security or someone, prob the maid. Anyway I’ll talk to you later ok.”

“Eh…yeah yeah I get it. I’m gonna go find a girl. Gimme a name, maybe I can in search for a girl with the name just for kicks.”

Raising my eyebrows, I look up to the ceiling wondering if God was having a good time at Nick’s expense and I smirk: “Uh I don’t know. Uhhh, Amanda? Amy? Amara? I don’t know. I gotta answer the door. Bye.” I hang up, tossing the cordless phone aside, opening the front door to see Kevin there.

“Morning.” I grab a robe putting it on, letting him in. Kevin keeps eyeing me oddly as he pets Federline who was now content purring like crazy. “What’s with the visit? I thought you were tired of seeing me from all the touring.” I smirk, locking the door behind Kevin who strolls over to the sofa lying back.

“Nothing much…I was bored. Kristen is out shopping and Brian is too busy with his family at the moment. So I came to see you.”

“Why not Alex?” I take a seat across from him, propping my legs up on the glass coffee table.

“Heh, look at the time. You know he’s not up at this time. Its too early for him.”

“Its ten thirty in the morning its not early.”

Kevin snorts: “This is Alex we’re talking about.”

I feel a smirk cross my face as I eye him: “Yeah, heh. So what’s with the visit?”

Kevin tosses me a newspaper as it lands on my lap with a plop. I accommodate myself on the couch, picking up the newspaper flipping through it.

“Page A8 under Investigation prison extortion.” He settles back on the sofa as Federline pounces on him curling up on his lap.

Raising my eyebrows I turn there and shrugs: “What about it?”

“Look at the picture. Do you see the guy in the back standing up on the bleachers? He’s right near the reporter.”

“Ohhhh…” I blink, seeing my face there wondering what the media will think of me now after seeing this. “Nick just finished calling me about it to see the news.”

“And what do you think?”

“What do you mean? There’s someone out there that looks like me. It doesn’t mean anything. That’s him, I’m me.” I simply ended the topic. The more we talked about it, the antsier I was getting. So what there happens to be someone that just happens to look like you. They’re them and have their own lives.

Kevin shifts and smirks: “Heard that other guy in the back is pretty famous among there. He got caught trafficking illegal possessions of weapons. Guns of all kind I think.”

“Oh…ok.” For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why Kevin even cared or considered telling me about this.

“Kev its not that big of a deal. The media won’t look at that. I don’t have to worry about them coming to me harassing me for it.”

Kevin sits up, pushing the large cat off him: “You’re right. I don’t have to worry about you. Thank God too and you’re not Nick so its ok.”

I smirk, “I’m gonna call him over I feel bad. He wants company and his friends are a little crazy for him.”

“We can do a guy night or something later on. Or maybe a nice dinner that doesn’t involve Brian getting into the kitchen.” Kevin grins as I let out a snicker.

“Sounds good then.” I smile, tossing the newspaper aside as the conversation topic jumped to something milder and entertaining.
~*~

Brian’s laughter flooded the hallways as Nick tumbles back from his seat at the sound of someone passing gas.

“Egh dude that’s nasty! I’m eating here!” A.J. retorts, frowning at the scent.

“What did you eat before getting here Rock?” Nick smirks, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“I’m telling you my wife makes this amazing meal and I couldn’t offer to pass it up.”

“Ok what part of we’re having a dinner party did you not get?” A.J. slurps up a noodle grinning.

“Hey I can eat at both places, I’m a man, I can sustain both meals.” Brian grins cheekily looking over at me. “Hey D good food, I know you didn’t make it yourself so did your girlfriend help out?”

I smile remaining quiet: “Actually I ordered out.”

“What?! Ah come on! We could have met at some restaurant if it wasn’t home cooked.” A.J. tosses his rolled up napkin at me as I dodge and duck to my left avoiding it.

Kevin smiles: “Man that sucks. Here I was going to congratulate you on the nice meal and its not even yours.”

“Its mine…I paid for it.” I smile getting a few playful boos and snickers. “Oh what? Come on.” I smirk, seeing Brian messing around with the stereo in my living room as a single from Janet Jackson blast out causing the others to crack up.

“Nice one D. You and Miss Janet, it’s too late man. She’s with that Jermaine guy you should have made your move back then.” A.J. laughs hard, holding his stomach.

I sit back snickering as the guys get up and dance around jokily to “I Get Lonely.” It was a nice ending to the free day I had and I couldn’t wait to fully enjoy the rest of what my vacation had to offer. Cause before I know it I’ll be back on tour and I’d kick myself if I didn’t go out and do things when I had the chance.
~**~


**~To Be Continued…~**