A/N: I wrote this story as a New Years Eve Resolution, that I had made in the beginning of 2004...and wrote it in the 2 hours before 2005...lol...I had never done a short story or a song fic for that matter. I just recently changed the ending cause...i didnt like how it was, didnt change much...but I hope u enjoy....Jenn



It’s like you’re a drug

It’s like you’re a demon I can’t face down

It’s like I’m stuck

It’s like I’m running from you all the time

And I know I let

You have all the power

It’s like the o­nly company I seek

Is misery all around





I don’t even remember how it all started. His name was Kevin Richardson, and he is the man that has taken over my life. Why did I ever get myself involved with him, is what I ask myself everyday.



We met in a nightclub, in 2002. He had just gone through a divorce with his wife, and was having problems with his band. I had recognized him right away, that face at o­ne time had graced many magazine covers.



He made the first move, approaching me o­n the dance floor. We danced for hours that night, each dance getting more and more erotic as the night went o­n. It was two in the morning when he invited me over to his house, of course I took him up o­n that offer.



That night was filled with pure passion as we made love into the dawn. Every stroke, every touch, every kiss, etched into my memory. I had expected him to just want me to leave o­nce we had woken up, but I was wrong. He had pulled me back o­n top of him, begging me to stay.



So for the next two months that was exactly what I did. We met back up nearly every night, danced into the early morning hours, and made love till dawn. Some times I would stay with him the whole day, others I would go home for a while.



I was hooked o­n him, everything about him made me feel complete. I was ready to make the next step, and become exclusive with him, but he wasn’t ready for that. He felt like he needed to wait, till his divorce was final. So I agreed to that.



Then o­ne night I showed up at the club and he wasn’t there. I thought about just forgetting about it for the night and heading home, but I just couldn’t. I had to find him. I quickly drove over to his place, there he was, at his doorway. Maybe I had just acted too soon, he was just running late.



Then that’s when I saw her, his ex wife. She was exiting her car, and began to run up to the doorway that held Kevin. I wanted to believe that she was just coming by to get some of her belongings that she had left behind, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.



She pressed her body up against his, and they began to kiss heatedly. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I know that we hadn’t agreed to be exclusive, but I knew how much he hated that women. I felt my blood boil as he picked her up and carried her into the house, still in a lip lock.



I quickly pressed down the accelerator, needing to get out of there. How could he do this to me, why?





It’s like you’re a leach

Sucking the life from me

It’s like I can’t breathe

Without you inside of me

And I know I let you

Have all the power

And I realize I’m never gonna

Quit you over time





It had been two weeks and I hadn’t heard from Kevin, but I just couldn’t seem to get over him. Every night, my dreams were plagued by his face, our nights of passion, our love for o­ne another. How could a man affect me this much, I just couldn’t understand.



Clad in o­nly my robe, a knock came upon the door. As I opened it, I saw the face that haunted my dreams, Kevin Richardson. I went to slam the door, but he reached out and grabbed my arm before I could.



“Fuck you Kevin Richardson!” I yelled as he forced his way into my apartment.



“Where have you been, why haven’t you been answering my phone calls?” He demand of me.



“How dare you come charging in here, I’m a grown ass woman, I don’t need to check in with you!” I quickly answered as I stalked away from him. He quickly caught up to me, grabbed me by the waist, and spun me around to face him.



“Answer me, what in the hell is going o­n?!”



I angrily shook my head at him, “Why the hell don’t you tell me what the fuck is going o­n with you, huh?! You’re the o­ne that needs to do the explaining. I saw you Kevin, I saw you with Kristen!” He just stood there in shock for a second. “What, didn’t expect me to know about that?” I crossed my arms across my chest.



“How did you…” Kevin asked in shock.



“It doesn’t matter how I know, I just do. Now why don’t you just get the fuck outta here!” I said looking him dead in the eyes.



“I swear, it’s over between Kris and I.” I let out a huff. “No, seriously. Who I want is you, not her.” He wrapped his long arms around my waist and pulled me close to him.



I don’t know why I believed him, but as he pulled me too his lips, I did just that. I believe him. I was ready to believe him forever.



It’s like I can’t breathe

It’s like I can’t see anything

Nothing but you

I’m addicted to you

It’s like I can’t think

Without you interrupting me

In my thoughts

In my dreams

You’ve taken over me

It’s like I’m not me

It’s like I’m not me





Six months later, he was gone again. Back into the arms of the woman that had destroyed him the first time around. I didn’t want to give him up, but he gave me no choice.



Now everywhere I go, I see him. I can’t help it. With him gone, it hurts to breath, it hurts to do anything. I now know that I have to win him back, I just can’t live without him. My friends all think I’ve gone off the deep end. I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming out his name. I’m not in control anymore.





It’s like I’m lost

It’s like I’m giving up slowly

It’s like you’re a ghost

That’s haunting me

Leave me alone

And I know these voices in

My head are mine alone

And I know that I’ll never change my ways

If I don’t give you up now





Another year has gone by, and as much as I try to move o­n, I just can’t seem to. I’m lost. I can’t seem to find my way up anymore. I hear him, telling me how much he loves me, but I know that it’s all in my head. I need to forget about him, if not, I feel as though I will drive myself insane.



I can’t tell you how damn hard I tried to get over that man, but nothing worked. That’s when I realized, that I need to find him. Maybe if I can just get him out of my system, I can forget him.



It wasn’t hard to find where he was living now, and lucky for me, that wife of his was out of town. He was shocked to find me o­n the other side of his door when he opened it. I didn’t even give him the chance to invite me in. Just like he did to me, I barged my way in.



“What are you doing here?” He questioned.



I didn’t even answer him, I just grabbed him and pulled him to my lips.



I’m hooked o­n you

I need a fix, I can’t take it

Just o­ne more hit

I promise I can deal with it

I’ll handle it, quit it

Just o­ne more time, then that’s it

Just a little bit, more to get me through this



He didn’t want to have none of it, “I’m sorry, but I’m with Kris again. What we had, is no more. I must ask you to leave.” Kevin began to head towards the door.



I had made a back up plan for this instance. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to keep my sanity if he made me walk out of that door, and out of his life o­nce again. I reached into my purse and pulled out the thing that would help me keep that sanity I so desperately needed.



When Kevin turned around he let out a gasp, “What do you think you’re doing? You don’t have to do this.”



“But I do Kev. Ever since you left me it’s like I can’t breath. I can’t even see anything but you anymore. You’re in my thoughts, my dreams. You’ve taken over me, and today it stops.” With that said, I began to pull back the trigger.





It’s like I can’t breathe

It’s like I can’t see anything

Nothing but you

I’m addicted to you

It’s like I can’t think

Without you interrupting me

In my thoughts

In my dreams

You’ve taken over me

It’s like I’m not me



The bullet went right through his heart, I think he was dead before he hit the ground. I calmly placed the gun back down to my side and made my way over to him. That’s when I noticed his voice was still in my head, still trying to drive me mad. I knelt down and brushed the hair away from his forehead. It was shorter than when he was with me.



His eyes were still open, with the look of panic still set in them, but they were glazed over. I reached down and gently closed his eyelids. I placed o­ne last final kiss o­nto his dead lips and did the next thing that came to mind. I placed the gun against my head, and pulled the trigger.



It’s like I’m not me

****Lyrics from Addicted by Kelly Clarkson****