Chapter One

He met her in Starbucks. She had blue hair and a big smile. She had tended to his order for a Mocha Frappuccino. She gave him the cup with a grin and as he slipped the money to her, there beside a five dollar tip was a small piece of folded, jagged notebook paper. She didn’t see him contemplate it with various signs from fumbling with it in his pocket or biting his lip. She had seen him on various occasions in the Starbucks were she worked and she had just smiled at him briefly while others had taken his order but he had finally worked up the courage to ask her out.

“What’s this?” she asked opening the folded paper like it was a treasure map. Her face broke out into a bigger grin and she batted her eyes. He laughed and she nodded.

“I get off at five, I’ll just call you.” He nodded.

“By the way, Howard Dorough.” He said and she extended her hand. He took it back.

“Sasha Nics.” She said looking into his eyes and for a second, he saw the intensity of her crystal blue eyes.

He walked from the shop and rain pelted the hat he put on before he exited. He climbed in his car and set the coffee down in the cup holder down. As he slammed the door, it was like a rush from the past of dead, raw emotion full of cascading pain he fought to avoid everyday.

He stopped dead and nearly dropped the bags as he heard moans from inside. She moaned someone else’s name from her familiar voice. He set them on the apartment counter and slowly made his way to their room. He pushed the door open and saw them in the bed. Her eyes lit up with surprised recognition and he just starred sickly at what he saw before him.

He heard her swear before pushing him off of her and jumping from the bed. He just turned and started across the small apartment. She had a silk bathrobe on when his hand touched the door. She pulled him around and he looked at her with eyes of not anger, but understanding. He smiled softly as he touched her face.

“I understand I’m not good enough for you but do you have to rub that in my fucking face.” He said and he kissed her check before walking out. She grabbed his arm and he pulled gently from her grip.

“Howard, no! I’m sorry. God Howie I’m sorry.” She said walking with him.

“Did you tell him that when he had his dick inside of you.” He said pulling his car keys out of his pocket.

“I’m sorry!” she screamed in his face, “I was confused okay. I don’t know what I’m doing. Please. We can work this out.” She begged as he pressed the elevator button, “Just please listen to me!” she screamed as he began toward the elevator.

They didn’t hear the couple of doors shutting. In that moment, there were three things that were there in their world. Her, Him and pain. It was so intense and raw. So tragic and beautiful. So painful and poetic. He had just been stabbed by someone he loved. But he tried not to push the knife deeper than it already was. It was life. People loved, people hated. People lived, people died. People were loyal, people cheated. He tried to relate to the thousands of others but he couldn’t. It was okay if it was one of your friends. You’d call her a bitch and tell them to dump her hard but when it was you, someone you cared about, you actually loved, she wasn’t a bitch. You didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do.

“What do you want from me Annie?” he asked, “Love, sex, money? What else do you want? You’ve taken everything of me. I mean, I loved you and you just go and do this.”

“Howard, I’ve seen you look at other women.” She shot back not noticing they had a growing audience, “I’ve seen you glance at the corner of your eye.”

“That’s not fair.” He replied calmly. He clenched his fist, “That is not…fair.”

“I’ve seen you!”

“Well, that’s another reason not to like me then.” He said and she grabbed his arm.

“No Howard. Please don’t go. We can start over. We can make this right. Wipe the slate clean. I love you…no matter how weird I show it. I was just so confused. I’m so confused. I don’t, I just don’t know anything. Help me please.”

“Be confused on your own time sweetheart because I have nothing left for you to take.” He said and she stood there as he walked on the the opening elevator, “Do whatever to my stuff you want. I hope you can find money to pay rent. Maybe he can help with that like he helped you with practicing sex.” He said and the door closed as she stood there with tears in her eyes. It was hard fighting back his. The doors closed and he leaned against the cool walls closing his eyes. ‘It’s life,’ he told himself, ‘It’s just life…’

Chapter two

The rain had stopped when five o’clock rolled around. It was down to a light drizzle that was slowly beginning to turn into a mix of soft rain and small flakes of melting snow.

It came muffled at first as he struggled to reach the surface. He could see the sun reflecting off the water just inches up ahead but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t breath. He felt himself beginning to get dizzy as he heard a continuous ringing. It stopped for a moment and then it started again. He suddenly felt arms pulling him up from the water as he twisted and turned and he dropped with hard thud against concrete that seemed fabricated. He sat up and looked around. The ringing of the phone was now clear in his ear and he cleared his throat snatching it from its perch.

“Hello.” He answered.

“It’s five o’clock sleepy head.” A cheery voice from the other end stated. He glared at the red glowing letters that were blurred from the thick cobwebs of sleep. Blinking brought into focus that it was six minutes after six o’clock.

“I see now.” He said with a small smile. He heard her giggle.

“Good thing you do. So how are we going to do this?” she asked and he rubbed his face.

“Are you at work?”

“Yeah, but I can go home.” She said and he nodded.

“No, no.” stated rubbing his face, “You like Italian?”

“Yes.” He could hear her smile over the phone.

“Give me thirty minutes.”

*~*

It took him five minutes to muster courage to walk in and get the date started. He had ridden up in a black Cadillac in front of Starbucks on the corner of 29th and Emerson. He stepped out and sucked in air. Opening the door he walked in. He could see her back. She had taken her blue hair out of her ponytail. She was wearing a loose v-neck cream colored sweater with flared jeans and Chucks. He tapped her gently on the shoulder and she looked at him through a mirror. Her grin appeared and she stood up. She was holding some type of coffee-based drink in one hand and she hugged him with the other arm.

“Sasha.” He smiled and extended his arm. She linked hers in and tossed the empty styrofoam cup into the trash can as they exited. She had a blue purse matching the exact blue of her hair. She leaned her head against his shoulder as she tried to get heat from him as the cool wind swirled around them.

“Hey Howard.” She said with a smile, “Good to see you.” He opened the door for her.

“Did you think I wasn’t going to come?”

“Dude, it felt like high school.” She laughed and he smiled. He shut her door and got in on the driver’s side.

“Why what happened in high school?”

“That’s a surprise for either inside the restaurant or the second date. I haven’t decided yet.” She giggled and he smiled as they pulled off. It was going well so far and he was proud that he kept a steady conversation. He sterred the vehicle into a parking space into a resturant and her smile gre big and her eyes twinkled as she raised an curious eyebrow.

"Can you afford this?" she asked with a smirk, "A salad is like ten dollars here." she said and he winked at her.

"You'd be surprised at what I can afford."

A/N: La la la la la la. Someone has some nasty fun in this chapter lol. Just a warning. Thankyou R&R! Your reviews are much appreciated.

Chapter Three

“So, what’s your line of work?” she asked and he nodded.

“Well, I teach guitar. I’m a private teacher and I also own a small shop.” The waitress asked their drinks and they ordered. Their drinks were brought quickly. Sasha stirred her blue liquid around the cup briefly. Then she took the orange slice from the rim and gently bit into it. Howard watched her not moving. Her eyes were so beautiful and her face was puzzled with concentration of what he guessed was trying to make a good impression on a date. He smiled.

“You’re beautiful.” He said and his hand gently touched her across the table. She looked up and smiled revealing an orange peel in front of her teeth. He laughed and tried not to make it sound nervous. He was having a good time and he couldn’t screw this up. He’d go back to her and show her that he could have better, he could do better. She could be confused on her own time. But not his, not his…

“Thank you. You look pretty cute yourself.” She replied back sipping a small amount through the straw, “So, tell me about yourself?” she asked with a sultry smile. It was complimented with a raised arched eyebrow. He winked back at her to return the gesture of clear affection.

“My father’s Irish and my mama is Puerto Rican.” He said with a proud kind of air with a confident smile. She nodded and sipped more on her drink. The waitress took their orders for food and then was gone.

“Sounds like you’re proud of your heritage.” She said with a hint of question. He sipped on his Marguerita and nodded.

“Yes, I very am. Especially my Spanish culture.” He said with a grin, “My mother makes the meanest guacamole in Miami.” He said and she nodded.

“Your parents live in Miami?” she asked expressing a false interest that he didn’t see.

“Yes, yes.” He nodded.

She sipped on her drink and looked up as the food was brought and set down.

“If you two need anything, just call out for me.” She told them and she received a nod from both of them.

“What did you get?” Howard asked trying to make interesting conversation.

“Mediterranean shrimp scampi.” She replied, “You?”

“Southwestern steak.”

“What’s the difference between all steaks?”

“I don’t know.” He laughed and she grinned, “It just looked real good on the menu.”

“What time do you have to work?” she asked and he smiled sleepishly.

“Seven. I have a meeting.” He said popping a piece of freshly steaming steak in his mouth.

“Well we better hurry and eat, it’s already ten.” She said. He smiled.

“Don’t worry bout me. I’ll be fine.” He said.

“Seriously, I don’t want you loosing any sleep over me.” She said with a dark twinkle in her eye that he didn’t catch. He nodded putting more steak in his mouth. It was no more than thirty minutes when they climbed in to his car and began the drive to her house. They arrived on the street and she sighed. He looked at her as she grinned at him.

“I had a lot of fun.” She lied and he smiled.

“I’m glad I’m not boring you.” He said and she smiled. She unlocked his door and opened it.

“I’ll walk you up there.” He said and he slid from his car and walked her up the small walkway of her house. They stood at the door starring at each other.

“God you’re beautiful.” He said and she slowly stepped up to him. He could feel her breast pressing against his chest. Her eyes were melting into his broken soul and she pulled his face down slowly by her thumb and pointer.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.” She whispered. She unlocked the door quickly and shoved him in. He landed on the couch. She slammed the door and helped him pull his jacket off. She pulled her sweater off and he saw the outline of her body. He saw the strength in her sculpted torso and the forming muscles in her arms. His hands roamed on her hips as their lips enveloped in each others. They fell to the couch and she unbuttoned her jeans as she began to plant kisses down his neck. He played with her jeans as she played with the buttons on his shirt.

“Y-you’re so-”

“Shut up and fuck me.” She growled and he slid the pants off of her hips. His hands curved around her butt and she licked his bare chest. He quickly unsnapped the clasp of her bra and threw it on the floor. She crawled down his body and unbuttoned his pants with her hands. With help from her teeth, she peeled his jeans from his body. He kicked them off to the floor.

“You are sexy.” She growled and she bit his inner thigh. He winced silently as she climbed up his body stirring passions and feelings he had never felt before. His heart was light and fast as her tongue licked his nipple. Her breast brushed against his and his hands enveloped them. He could feel her erect nipples and the bulge in his pants grew tighter. She bit his neck and he bit hers back. His hands slowly slid down her body and pulled her panties off her body. She got him out of his boxers and she wrapped her legs around his back. He started slow on her pumping slowly, cautiously not to hurt her. She moaned and panted in his ear as he pushed harder and got faster. Her nails began to dig in his back as he got deeper and he could feel them break his skin. She screamed as he growled and she fell against him. He could feel her sweat mingling with his skin as she lay on him. Their hearts beat fast and her hand laid against his chest.

“Stay in me…please.” She whispered. It was more of a plea than a request so he was tired and he was aching. He wanted more form her. He wanted to taste more. She teased him and this was only the first taste of what she could do. It wasn’t more than mere seconds that both were asleep.

Chapter Four

He awoke with a start in her bed. The sheets were scattered around the bed but it was enough to cover her remotely. He sat up shivering in the darkness. There were streams of sunlight seeping through the cream-colored blinds sprayed on the opposite wall to the window. He looked at the clock and cursed. Jumping from the bed he grabbed his clothes. He’d swing by his place and do a quick shower. Breakfast could be received from McDonald’s and eaten while on the way. He was late. Five minutes at that.

“What are you doing?” she asked and he looked at her still for a moment.

“I’m really sorry for leaving with a late notice but work calls.” He said and he pulled up his pants. The shirt was slipped on and he grabbed his coat.

“I had real fun yesterday.” She said softly. Her hand was rubbing over her face and he nodded.

“Thanks. So’d I. I’ll call you later.” He said and the door slammed behind him. He ran and hopped in his car and sped off. It took a total of ten minutes to get home. Fifteen for a shower and brushing of his teeth and washing of his face. He was out and officially forty minutes late.

“Damn it!” he growled as a car slammed hard on it’s brakes in front of it. He swerved and just avoided a collision. He pulled the car around and sped down the street when the light turned green.

He pulled into the small shop and hopped out. They could sue him since he took up two spaces. He at that point really didn’t care. He pushed open the door and stopped. She stood there with a small smile and a small bag of chocolates.

“Hi Howard.” She greeted softly. He closed the door behind him and walked in. He walked around her and greeted the secretary Evelyn.

“Where’s Micheal?” he asked and she smiled as if to say he was lucky.

“Sick.” He sighed with relief, “Thank you.” He said and he began to his studio.

“Howard.” He mustered all the anger he could get in his response.

“What?” he asked curtly. She starred at him and the smile slowly dissipated.

She brushed past him into his studio and he groaned. He closed the door with a little slam.

“Can I help you? Want to learn guitar?”

“You know,” she growled throwing the box of chocolates at him hard. He moved quick enough to block the box, “fuck you.”

“You came in here to throw chocolate at me?” he asked, “That really hurt.”

“I love you and you act as though we’re not together okay. I gave you a couple weeks to cool before I made my appearance again.” She said and she ran her hands through her hair pacing slowly. He starred at her.

“Jessi,” he said, “It was over when I left.” He said softly and her head snapped his way. Her hands dropped to his sides as she gaped at him.

“Howard no.” she pleaded, “Damn it, I’m sorry. We need to work this out. Please can we work this out.” She pleaded and he shook his head slowly.

“No…we can’t.” he replied softly.

“Please, I know you’re mad at me but this has to work. I have to prove I can have a steady relationship that doesn’t have to circle around sex. Please Howard, give me another chance. I’m clean okay. I’m new. No pills, no alcohol, I’m all for you.” She said and she starred at him into his eyes. He looked away.

She was beautiful with the most intense eyes he had ever seen.

“I…I can’t do this.” He said shaking his head. He began out of the studio slowly. She rushed after him and grabbed his arm pulling him around.

“I love Howard! I can’t live without you.” She said, “I…I really…can’t.” she pleaded, “I’m desperate…I’ll do anything.”

She touched his face hesitantly at first but when she pressed her body against his everything old was beautiful again. Everything new was almost like a tragic. His heart raced like it used to and his senses ignited again. He could smell her soft perfume radiating off of her and he drank in the sweet smell. He felt her breath before her soft lips brushed against his. He was entranced, almost pulled in. He could feel her tongue slip through his lips slowly and he almost couldn’t resist her.

He broke the kiss looking away.

“I can do better than you.” He said softly as he remembered that ugly day when he had walked in on them. The groceries hitting the surface and his heart hit the floor. He could hear her moans and hear him grunting. He could still remember her begging him like she was now. Her plan was to get him back by seducing him but he fought back, he had to. He could do better than that, than her.

“What?” she asked and he could see her pain and inside he laughed. He was happy. Now she was as hurt as he was.

“No. I’ve moved on.” He said and opened the door, “You need to leave.” He said and she starred at him with so much pain he could almost feel it seeping through him. Her look was of betrayal and hurt. She was in total disbelief. She cleared her throat and walked out. He let the door close and he picked up his guitar. He watched her car speed from the parking lot onto the street. He sighed rubbing his face. Oh he still loved her but his pain every time he saw her just killed him.

Chapter Five

The sunset was beautiful that day with colors of yellow and pink as it sat just above the ocean. It was mixed in swirls of red and purple with a hint of orange. He took the long way home and just decided to walk. He knew he’d regret leaving his car the next morning but right then, the air was cool but warm enough for a small jacket and flip flops that he still wore from earlier. He found himself thinking about life as he walked but he closed his mind to her, about her. He didn’t want to think about her but it was hard, he had a new love in his life. A new relationship that he could keep that could be loyal.

From home to work, it took close to an hour and a half and he was out of breath as he walked faster as it got darker. As a male, especially for his small height, no one would have a problem taking a bite out of his wallet.

He arrived and she was gone. His day had been so long and he was exhausted. He fell on the couch and starred at the phone. It was so far away to him that he reached with a small smile and his land fell limply to the couch. He could reach the remote which sat on the floor and he flipped the television on. He starred at the screen as the 1985 classic of a Japanese spoken Godzilla played on the screen. He closed his eyes as voices and fake screens echoed within his head as he slowly drifted off.

He jerked awake at the sound of the phone. He shook his head and picked it up pressing talk.

“Yeah,” he said rubbing his eyes; He hadn’t even known he had fallen asleep. Godzilla was over and Mad Max was on.

“Hey.” She said over the phone happily. He grinned widely and leaned back on the couch. He peeked an eye open and pressed enter on the remote. The time was 10:32. He sighed.

“Hey.” He answered back and she giggled. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Did I wake you? It seems like I woke you?” she asked grinning, “Got Yahoo?”

“What?” he laughed and she sighed.

“Do you have Yahoo?”

“I have a computer with Internet where I can reach Yahoo.” He said and she laughed.

“Yahoo messenger dude.” She said. He could hear a continuous clicking sound.

“Yes, what are you doing?”

“What’s your screen name?”

“None of your business sweetheart.” He said with a smile and he stood to his feet and walked over to his computer pressing it on. She giggled.

“Oh,” she said giggling uncontrollably, “If it’s Big D it is so okay to tell me. You’re a guy and it can be expected.” He laughed and snickered.

“No no no! I mean well…” he said shrugging and she screamed.

“Well, I did have an experience with it and I was not disappointed.” She said with a sly grin that he could hear over the phone.

“HowardD73.” He said as he poured ingredients to make a smoothie in a blender. He turned it on and walked out.

“Get on Messenger. I’m AppleBaby5.” She said and he snickered.

“What?” he laughed, “Apple what?” he laughed hard and stopped the blender after logging on to Messenger.

“What the hell was that?” she asked and he poured the smoothie into a cup.

“I’m making a smoothie.” He said and she giggled.

“So that’s how you keep those abs. Healthy fruit drinks. I don’t give a damn. Starbucks Izzies, Coca Cola and Sprite with one hundred calories and two hundred grams of sugar with a nice enormous greese dripping cheese burger with some ribs...oooo…”

“I’ll just say dinner with my mom and I gain all the weight I need for a year.” He said and she giggled, “Okay AppleBaby5.” He said sipping on the smoothie as he starred at the computer screen, “I’m on.” She screamed happily.

“The picture! Oh my gosh it’s adorable!”

“I was nine and it was picture day.” He laughed.

“Oh I love it!” she yelled, “Look at that curl!” she said referring to the curls that graced his forehead and face.

“Your hair was longer than mine.” She grinned, “It’s down to your shoulders and all.” She said, “And I think it’s adorable.” She said and text popped up on his screen. He hung up the phone typed back.

HowardD73: Hello back
AppleBaby5: hello back back
HowardD73: You tired?
AppleBaby5: nope hyper
HowardD73: How
AppleBaby5: cuz I dunno, u sleepy
HowardD73: Yep
AppleBaby5: well ima let u get to sleep. U off 2morow
HowardD73: No but I am Saturday
AppleBaby5: What time, I work to five
HowardD73: Then I pick you up at six?
AppleBaby5: sure. Ill still be hyper as hell
HowardD73: lol
AppleBaby5: obviously ure computer language illiterate
HowardD73: I guess you could say that. I like speaking English.
AppleBaby5: can you habla Spanish
HowardD73: si senorita
AppleBaby5: ooo, well ima let u go 2 sleep
HowardD73: gracias, night
AppleBaby5: night

He signed off and fell against the couch. He smiled and curled up with a pillow.

“I’ll go to bed later.” He mumbled and he laid against the couch promising himself that he would rest his eyes for five seconds before he went to the bed room and took a shower.