Summary: On the drive back from a... unique evening, Brian and Nick stumble upon a most distressing find. Will Nick be able to handle the painful truth that sometimes the only thing you can do is just be there?
Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys Characters: Brian, Nick
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 4705 Read: 2109
Published: 01/27/06 Updated: 01/27/06
1. Part 1 of 1 by Refuse
Note: Not yet beta read.
WARNING: Considered a tear-jerker.
Crash and Burn
The sun had long since set and the black pavement of the back country road glistened in the moonlight, a sheen of silver covering its smooth surface after a horrid thunderstorm. The lone highway snaked around the hills and mountains of Oregon, almost serving as a black ribbon wrapping a secret prize of rocky heights and lush forest.
The night was chilled and still, save for a phantom breeze that wept through the crowded foliage and trees above and below the winding road. The stars above remained hidden behind the retreating clouds that insisted on parting with a hazy mist of cool moisture, so that the air almost seemed tangible. The white points of light refused to let that stop them and they gamely forced their way through the clouds and haze to join their counterpart of the moon, which shined brightly in full circle to illuminate the glazed country below.
The soft white light reflected off of an object, far below the ebony road, tucked in the reaches of the tree laden hillside. Through the mist a shape took form, first confusing but soon clear. Mangled metal caught and refracted the moon's glow, as if signaling to the world above. The gray, two door coup resided twisted around a tree's thick base, seeming to have taken the tree into its grasp and squeezed.
Within that deformed vehicle a figure slumped against the steering wheel, long brown hair falling forward to cover a heart shaped face the age of nineteen. Her thin, blue wool jacket clung to her form as the wet rain and now cool mist drifted through the shattered driver's door window, causing her hair to matt and hang limp. The car's dash weighed a crushing force on her legs while pressing the steering wheel firmly into her abdomen, causing her breaths to be short and shallow as she continued her unaware pretense of oblivion. A soft cough jerked her shoulders in her unconscious state, sounding raw and raspy. Several more coughs occurred and a small trickle of blood escaped her parted lips. The red substance took homage elsewhere also, clinging to her clothes and seeping from her body, slowly draining her of life.
Her lips pressed together, wincing. Her eyelids clenched and relaxed, her mind becoming aware. With a moan of pain and pure will, she forced her eyes open. Startling, emerald orbs were revealed, pained and unfocused as they looked through the wet strands of dark hair hanging in her pale face, searching for some identity. The surroundings soon became somewhat clear to her and she moaned again, not so much out of pain, but of remorse.
She knew she was alone. She knew she was dying. The thought of dying alone pained her more than the physical, such an act was absolutely terrifying to her.
She carefully licked her dry lips, grimacing at the metallic taste of blood. She spoke, begged in an almost inaudible plea, a raspy whisper, "Please, God... Please, don't let me die alone... not alone..."
She let out a shallow sigh and her heavy eyelids fell closed, her mind giving into the pain and sinking back into darkness. All the while, her heart not holding much hope that her soft plea would be answered.
~~~~~~~========( )========~~~~~~~
"Remind me to never go with one of your crazy ideas again," voiced Brian as he drove their rented Chevy Lumina along the wet, black pavement winding around the hills, heading back to their hotel in Portland. They were there for their Black and Blue tour.
"Aw, c'mon, Bri'," sighed Nick, looking across at his friend. "It wasn't that bad."
"Wasn't that bad?" quoted Brian, glancing from the road to his friend, dark blue eyes wide in disbelief. "We just spent our day off in a restaurant's back kitchen washin' a truck load of dishes, because we got mobbed by fans that took our bags with all our stuff!"
Nick raised his hands in surrender, "Yeah, okay. I know, but how was I supposed to know their was gonna be some big birthday party at that restaurant?"
"You coulda called ahead or somethin', Frack," replied Brian, eyes watching the road. "It was a friggin' sweet sixteen party!"
Nick laughed, then shrugged, "What were the odds? Man, there musta been twenty girls. Why'd they have'ta take our bags, though?" Nick mused, raising an eyebrow, "I mean, we gave them autographs, why'd they take our stuff?"
Brian shook his head, slowing the car down for a precarious curve in the road, "Who knows. All I know is we were left with nothin' to pay for our already eaten meal, and the manager was already mad at us for causing the fuss with the fans."
Brian took in the scenery a moment before continuing, "Well, atleast we didn't have to drive through that storm. It seemed pretty bad back at the restaurant."
Nick nodded his head, looking out his window at the hazy mist and the shimmering landscape, "Somethin' good came out of it, then."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, not really interested in starting their usual funny banter. Then, up ahead, they approached a sharp curve along the steep hill. Nick sat up straighter in his seat, the seat belt pressing against his chest.
"Bri'?" he asked, the unease heard in his voice. "You see that?"
Brian slowed their car down as they approached the curve, his voice soft with apprehension as he answered Nick's query, "Yeah. We better check it out... just in case."
He stopped the car on the muddy shoulder and they got out. They both stood still for a moment, staring at the scene before them. Tire tracks, deeply engraved in the mud, led in a skidding fashion toward the metal guard rail. The guard rail stood in two pieces, a gaping hole separating them with their metal twisted and pulled down into the reaches below.
Nick and Brian glanced at each other and then slowly walked to the edge, where the tire tracks seemed to just disappear. Nick hesitantly stepped to the edge, leaning back from it as he furtively glanced down. His eyes widened.
"Oh, God!" he suddenly exclaimed, roughly grabbing Brian and jerking him forward. Nick looked frantically at Brian, pointing down the hill, "Bri'! Look!"
Brian looked, then his face lost its color, "My God..."
Nick was now panicking, tugging frantically on Brian's arm, "C'mon, Brian! We gotta see if-"
Nick broke off his words, not wanting to finish his thoughts as he started over the edge and down the muddy hill, pulling Brian down with him. Brian finally managed to free his arm of Nick's grasp and followed him. Then Brian suddenly threw an arm up when his foot slipped in the slick mud, almost sending him to the ground. He looked at Nick ahead of him, seeing the blond almost fall several times, "Hey! Take it easy, Nick! We won't do no good if we get hurt ourselves!"
Nick nodded and managed to slow his pace, but he wanted to see if the people were okay. It just looked so bad. Nick made it to the wrecked car first, his feet finally slipping in the mud and sending him crashing to the ground. His momentum carried him the last few feet, his body sliding into the vehicle. He gave a grunt when he hit it, more out of surprise then any real pain.
Nick picked himself up with help from the car, regaining his footing on the slick mud. He held his breath as he approached the driver's door, seeing the window had been broken open. He heard Brian behind him and gave him a fearful glance, afraid of what they'd find.
Oh, God, thought Nick, Please... let them be okay.
Nick expelled his held breath and grabbed a handful of Brian's jacket, pulling the Kentucky native forward with him as he reached the window.
"Oh, no..."
Nick heard the soft words, but didn't look at Brian, remaining silent and staring. A woman was slumped forward in the car, her dark hair covering her face. Nick and Brian both winced at the blood they could see on her clothes and in her hair. They fell to their knees to be more level in sight with her, wanting to see some movement from the too still form.
Brian gave a little sigh, closing his eyes as he forced himself to remain calm. Opening his eyes, he reached his hand forward and toward her neck, pressing his fingers against her cold skin for a sign of life. Nick stared at Brian's face, still speechless.
Brian sagged a little and locked eyes with Nick, "She's alive... barely."
Nick finally found his voice, his eyes roving over the girl and car, "Well... we have to do something! We have to help her."
Brian frowned and switched his hand to gently pull her hair to the side, revealing her face, "Aw jeez, Nick. She can't be much younger than you."
Nick felt a pang in his chest, Aw, God... Why'd this happen? She's too young. It could just as easily be me in there... Blinking his eyes, Nick rested a hand on her shoulder lightly, "Hey... Hey! Uh... Miss? Miss? Can you wake up? Hey! ...C'mon, wake up! Please?"
Brian watched her face, seeing her eyes twitch, "Hey, I think she's wakin' up. Miss? Can you hear me?"
The girl moaned, grimacing and licking her lips. Slowly, her eyelids fluttered, then cracked open. She squinted up at Brian and Nick, a gasp escaping her as they spoke.
"Hey, it's okay," soothed Brian. "We're here to help you, okay?"
"Yeah," added Nick, reaching and tucking her hair behind her ear, "You're gonna be jus' fine. We'll get you out of this, all right?"
She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them again, staring at them. She spoke, her voice a light rasp, "You- you're for real?"
They smiled sadly, Brian answering, "Yeah."
They watched her close her eyes, not sure if it was in relief or pain. Brian looked at Nick, then back at the car, "Okay, let's see what we've got. Uh, miss? Can you tell us your name?"
She opened her eyes, seeming to have to force an answer out, "C-Carmen."
Brian smiled, "Okay, Carmen. I'm Brian and this is Nick. Can you tell us where you're hurt?"
She winced, "Everywhere."
"Can you sit back?" Nick asked gently, his voice shaking slightly in the knowledge she had just shared.
She nodded, "Yeah, I think so."
With a groan she leaned back in the seat, away from the steering wheel, but it still pressed painfully against her stomach. Nick and Brian couldn't stop the gasp that took away their breath. They could see that the car had crushed against her, pinning her in between the seat, steering wheel, and dash. The dash and steering wheel were a good foot further back then they should have been, effectively trapping her in the car.
Brian looked sadly at Nick, the reality that they couldn't give her the help she needed hitting him hard, "Oh, man. We can't get her out, Nick. We have to call for help."
"How?" asked Nick, suddenly angry. "We don't have our cells, they were in the bags those fans took!"
Brian closed his eyes, remembering, "Well, then we have to go get help."
"You go," said Nick firmly, "I ain't gonna leave her alone."
"Nick," tried Brian, but was interrupted.
"Go, Brian. I'll be fine. We have to get her help, and soon, but we also can't just leave her all alone out here."
Brian searched his friend's face, seeing the common stubborn streak in the smooth features staring back at him. Brian sighed, "Fine. You don't do nothin' stupid and I'll be back as fast as I can, okay?"
"Yeah," nodded Nick. "Go Brian... and hurry."
Brian nodded and turned back to Carmen, giving her an encouraging smile, "I'm going for help, okay? I'll be back as soon as I can. Nick is goin' to stay with you, okay?"
Carmen nodded, feeling tired again. Brian gave her one last look and then quickly started back up the hill. Nick watched Brian go and listened as he heard the car start and pull away. He turned back to Carmen, anguish in his blue eyes at seeing her in so much pain.
Nick cleared his throat, searching for words, "So, Carmen... Um, you got a last name with that?"
Her eyes stayed closed as she smiled, "Well, it ain't Electra. Sorry to disappoint ya."
Nick chuckled, "No disappointment here. So, what is it then?"
"Keller," she supplied with a wince.
"Well, mine's Carter," Nick said, wincing with her. He couldn't help asking his next question, "Are you in a lot of pain?"
"No."
Nick bit his lip, his eyes saddening even more. He knew an all out lie when he heard one, "Nice try. So, uh... what's yer sign?"
She let out a laugh, stopping short with a gasp of pain. Nick immediately felt bad, "Oh, God... I'm sorry, I shouldn't of said that."
"No, no. It's okay, I think I needed a laugh," she smiled, squinting her emerald eyes up at him. "I hope that isn't one of your best pick up lines."
"Nah," grinned Nick, relishing the almost normal conversation they were having. Yet, at the same time, he was wondering how they could, "I just want to keep yer mind off of this stuff if I can."
"Thanks," she sighed. "It does help and... I'm glad you stayed. I didn't want to be alone again."
"You're welcome," Nick said, his eyes a now deep blue with emotion. "How- how long have you been here?"
She frowned, "Honestly? I have no idea. I was driving during the storm and I wasn't going fast or anything, but suddenly my right front tire blew out and it pulled me straight off the road. I slammed on the breaks and tried to turn away, but..."
She trailed off, but Nick didn't need to know any more. The rest was pretty much self-explanatory. There was silence as Nick desperately tried to think of something to say, to talk about until Brian returned with help.
"Uh... Are you from around here?" Nick finally asked.
"Yeah, lived here my whole life," she rasped out, trying to shift position and wincing, "I used to live with my dad, but I had to leave when he died to go live with my mother. They both lived in Oregon though, so it wasn't a big change."
"I'm sorry about your dad."
"It was a long time ago," she replied, obviously not wanting to talk about him. She continued, but on a different subject than her father, "Mom wasn't too good though, she would always come home drunk with some guy. A couple years ago, she was killed in a car accident, drunk drivin'."
Nick's jaw dropped, shocked. He wondered how one person could lose so much, "You don't have any brothers or sisters?"
"No," Carmen shook her head, then she suddenly gasped in pain. She squeezed her eyes shut while one hand gripped her stomach and steering wheel, the other the top of the door.
Nick panicked, his eyes wide and bright, "Hey, you okay? What is it? What's wrong?"
She loosened her grip, opening her eyes and panting in pain, "It's okay... I'm okay..."
"No, you're not," argued Nick, his blue eyes searching her face. "What was it?"
She groaned, shutting her eyes and still trying to catch her breath, "My... stomach... It just hurt... like hell."
Nick looked down and gripped her hand that was holding onto the door, immediately noticing how cold it was. Nick blinked. He hated seeing her in pain like this, it was just killing him. No one should have to go through that.
"I'm sorry," he breathed, still looking down at her hand.
Carmen opened her eyes, savoring the warmth of his hand covering hers. She felt so cold, "You're sorry? For what?"
Nick shook his head, raising his eyes to look at her, "For this happening to you, for you hurtin' so much, that I can't help you. I- I just hate it."
"Nick," she said, using his name for the first time. "You are helping me. You stayed. I'm not alone. That means the world to me. Please, let's just keep talking. It helps a lot."
Nick slowly nodded, "Okay."
Carmen smiled, "I can't thank you enough for staying, Nick. I couldn't stand being alone. I've been alone all my life, I didn't want to die alone, too."
"You're not gonna die," denied Nick, looking into her eyes. "You're not."
"Nick, I know I am," she replied sadly, her voice lilting. "I've been here too long. I can feel myself fading."
Nick shook his head, refusing to believe or say it, "No."
"It's true, Nick, " Carmen stopped, closing her eyes as a spike of pain traveled from her immobile legs all the way to her head. "I- I'm scared, Nick. I don't want to die..."
Hot tears fell from her eyes when she opened them and Nick now held her hand with both of his, his own eyes misting in helplessness. His voice pleaded with her, trying to make her fight harder to live, "You're not gonna die. Let's not talk about that, tell me more about yourself."
Carmen was beginning to feel very drowsy, but she began telling Nick about her life. Atleast someone would know of it. Atleast someone would notice she was gone and maybe even remember her.
"I- I guess you could call me a loner. I've never really fit in anywhere," she kept her eyes trained on Nick as she spoke, fear settling in her as it became harder to hold a thought. "I have had friends, but not one that really knew me for me. I've just started college. I'm going into music, it's always been in my life. I would just sit for hours listening to it or writing it. It was almost as if it were a part of me."
Nick nodded with a slight smile, understanding, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Music is a large part of my life, too."
"I know," she smiled, her eyes half closed. "Your music has helped me a lot, Nick. You and your friends are the reason I'm alive this long. Your music's pulled me from my misery more than once."
Nick's smile widened, his voice soft, "I didn't think you knew me."
"I'm not dense, Nick."
Nick chuckled sadly, "Sorry."
"S'okay," she slurred, feeling weak. The cold she felt seemed to envelope her body, numbing her limbs, "Nick, I'm tired and I can't feel my legs anymore. I- I don't think I'm gonna last much longer."
"Quit sayin' that," pleaded Nick, squeezing her hand. "You are gonna be fine. Brian's gonna come back soon with help and we'll get you to the hospital and you'll get better and we can all celebrate and-"
"Nick," she interupted, smiling slightly. "You're babbling."
Nick looked sheepish, but his eyes still held a silent plea, "Sorry, I just don't want you to die. Please, don't."
Carmen closed her eyes, turning her head away, "I'm sorry, Nick. I don't have much choice." Her voice fell to a whisper, the words mumbled, "I'm so cold..."
Carmen could feel the pain becoming almost distant, her mind floating as if on air. All she could feel was Nick's warm hands gripping her one. She must have spaced out because she could dimly hear Nick calling her name, his voice slowly becoming clearer and closer.
"Carmen! Carmen, please say somethin'!" Nick cried, having taken one of his hands and turned her face back to him. Seeing her eyes closed and face slack had made his heart beat quicken in sudden panic. Then her brow furrowed and he latched onto the small movement.
"Carmen!"
"Nick?" she whispered, slowly half opening her eyes to see his panicked face.
"Oh, God! Don't do that to me!" gasped Nick. She had really scared him, he thought she had died. She couldn't die. He was supposed to help her. Carmen was supposed to live. She had to.
"Nick, I'm sorry, but..." She squeezed his hand and pressed into the warmth of the one that held her face, "I can feel myself fading away. Nick... Nick, please..."
Nick held her gaze, tears welling in his eyes, "What?"
"Will... will you sing for me?" Her deep emerald eyes gazed into his in pleading, her soft voice trembling, "Music was my whole life... I want it to be the last thing I hear... Please?"
Nick shut his eyes, tilting his head back as hot tears slid from the closed lids. He sighed deeply and turned back to Carmen and her rueful eyes, a cold breeze weeping through the trees rustling his short blond hair and stinging his tear stained face as he nodded his head.
She smiled, tears that had welled in her eyes falling and touching his hand. She slowly leaned back, feeling her strength leaving and everything growing dim, everything but the comfort of Nick's presence. She wasn't alone...
Nick kept his glistening eyes on her face, gripping her hand with one of his while the other still cupped her face. He moved his thumb to wipe away some of her tears, his heart clenching as he could actually see her eyes growing distant. He took in a trembling breath and got ready to sing a song he had always loved and thought special... for Carmen.
He had to momentarily close his eyes, opening them to release more hot, wet drops of liquid. His voice came out strained and hoarse, hearing the sadness in his own voice, "When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you. Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart."
He could see the lingering fear in her eyes as she listened. Nick took a deep breath and continued, "I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you. It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold."
He couldn't help the increase in his tears and had to squint his eyes as Carmen's image wavered. He could feel himself losing control and concentrated on the words to ragain it, but that only made it worse, "When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore..."
Nick's voice cracked and he looked into Carmen's thankful face. He had to force himself to continue, singing the chorus slower and more softly then it was in real, "Let me be the one you call. If you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night... If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash then crash and burn... You're not alone."
Nick had to work around the lump in his throat as Carmen's breathing slowed and she leaned more into his hand and the seat. It was so hard. Nick never thought singing could ever be so hard, "When you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find... You're caught in a one way street... With the monsters in your head..." Nick had to look away. It was just so hard, "When hopes and dreams are far away... and you feel like you can't face the day..."
Nick choked up and he removed his hand from her face to cover his own as he cried, "I'm sorry, Carmen... I- I can't do this... I just can't..."
He felt her cold hand grip his harder as she spoke, just above a whisper, "You can, Nick. I know you can... Keep putting your heart into it... ...Please, Nick... don't stop..."
Nick removed his hand from his face to rake it through his hair. He took several breaths and slowly got back in control, but then he looked back at Carmen and almost lost it again. Her eyes were so far away, her expression becoming blank. He could only manage a little more that a whisper as he resumed singing, "Let me be the one you call. If you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart... If you need to crash then crash and burn... ...You're not alone..."
Nick felt his heart breaking as he felt her hand becoming slack in his, "Because there has always been heartache and pain... ...and when it's over you'll breathe again..."
Nick could only watch as her eyes drifted closed and the smallest of smiles turned the corners of her mouth. His breathing hitched and he could hear the tears in his voice, "...you'll breathe again..."
Nick paused as she gave his hand a small squeeze. His tear glazed blue eyes staring at her face as she mouthed, "Thank you." Then Nick felt her hand go limp, falling from his fingers.
No...
"Carmen? ...Carmen?" Nick reached out to her face, brushing her hair aside, his face pinched in pain, "Carmen? No... you're not dead... Carmen? Please..."
Nick ducked his head, a choked sob breaking loose from his broken form. He grabbed her limp hand and brought it to his face as tears cascaded down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth, denial taking hold of him so strongly he began to shake.
"No..." he cried hoarsely, firmly grasping her lifeless hand, "You weren't supposed to die... Carmen, we were supposed to help you... ...You weren't supposed to die!"
Nick slumped back on his heels as he kneeled beside the car, leaning against it for support. He pressed her hand to the side of his face before placing it back inside the car, the hot tears falling nonstop. He slumped back to the ground against the car and turned his blurry eyes up to the night sky, gazing through the mist and up at the twinkling stars. He bit his lip as he continued to cry, wishing he could have done something. Nick released another painful sob and did the only thing he could think of... he finished the song...
"When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you. Give me a moment please, to tame your wild wild heart..."
Nick could only hope Carmen could hear him, but somehow... he found he knew she could...
"Let me be the one you call. If you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night... If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash... ...then crash and burn..."
Nick paused, a feeling of warmth washing over him even through the cold breeze and mist. He leaned his head back against the car, his liquid blue eyes staring into the sparkling heavens. He blinked, tears falling, then... he smiled and let his eyes shimmer as a falling star shot across the sky.
"...You're not alone..."
The End.
Song: Crash and Burn
Artist: Savage Garden
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.