Shiny. So pretty. Bright. Touch it? Why not? Hands reachin' out and...
"Nick!" Woah, shock much? Where was I again? "NICK! Pay attention! Geez," Oh yeah. The tour stuff. No wonder I was zoning. And they wonder why I don't pay attention to them.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Dave looked at me funny. But I guess if I was him, I would look at me funny too. That'd be weird. If I was Dave.
"I was asking about the order of the songs... the guys seem content to start with 'Everyone'." That song? Can we say 'Larger Than Life' remake?
"Whatever," It's not like I'll have much say when they wanna do it. Why not? It'll get the kids pumped.
"And then go right into 'Larger Than Life'. Maybe like a medley?" Like we all didn't see that coming. He was talking to all of us I guess. 'Cause Rok nodded. Damn, those were weird pants. What was Leighanne making him wear? Patchwork I think... no wait... maybe they were nylon... he's gotten some weird taste since he got married... I wonder what'd it be like to be married. I guess I shivered because next thing I know, someone turned the temperature up. Why do they read so far into stuff? I'm not even cold.
"Hello?" Someone was waving their hand in front of my face,
"What?"
"Stop spacing out, dude. We all wanna go home. Pay attention, kid." Kid? AJ was all of what, two years older than me? Oooh, big fuckin' deal.
"Sorry." I can't help it. This is so boring! Agh. I want to be somewhere else right now, like... the moon. That would be cool. If we lived on the moon. They told us we would be when I was little.
"So?"
"Yeah?" What did they want. Maybe I should start paying attention.
"Do you think we should do a song that would be like, a special for the fans?" That would be cool, we could cover like System of a Down or something. Damn, that'd be awesome!
"Yeah! That would be cool as hell! We could-"
"'If You Stay'!" Kevin interrupted me. He always did that. It was damn annoying. "We could do 'If You Stay'. We all love that song." He had a point. I really liked that song. But he coulda waited for me to finish.
"What were you gonna say, Kaos?" See? Thats why me and Brian are the tightest... well... were, whatever. Well, he can still tell when I'm annoyed,
"Nothin, forget it. That's a good idea, Kev."
"Either that or 'Roll With It'..." he continued. I love how Kevin acknowledges when I say something. It's so great. I am sarcasm to a T today.
"I think we should stick to 'If You Say'." Howie was a great guy. I should tell him that sometime. Howie needs to get some though, he is going through some serious sex withdrawal. Oh wait, I don't have a girlfriend either. Damn. That sucks.
"Interesting drawing, Nick..." AJ grinned. Drawing? Woah, when'd I draw that? Kevin... hahahahaha.... it was funny though. Kevin's head on top of that rooster's body from Looney toons.
"Shit, I didn't mean to." I made a grab for it, AJ got it first. Dammit. That ass.
"Brian, check this out." He whispered and passed it down. Brian laughed. Real hard. Great, now I'm gonna get shit from Kevin.
"Brian, what is so funny?" Dave was exhasperated with us. Exhasperated, why couldn't I talk like that? I think smart... I hope I do anyways... it always comes out retarded when I actually speak. That blows the big one.
"N-n-nothing." Brian gasped. Well, that was convincing. Dammit Brian, you're going to get me in trouble. Shut up. I guess telepathy doesn't work for the weak minded because Brian's still laughing. Kevin finally grabs the paper. I put my head down. That way, what he says, I don't really hear. It's all the same anyways. Wow, this table was really smooth. I wonder who made it? What if it was like, magic or something. That would cool as hell. I think I'd wish I could take a break, be incognito for a while. And for some pizza. If I could trade places with a regular kid for one day.
"And that's that, okay Nick?" Okay, speech was done,
"Yes Kevin." My part had been played out. Again. As always. Woah, Kevin's eyebrows were dancing... dance, eyebrows, dance...
"Now what're you laughing at, Nick?" Huh? Oops. Didn't mean to do that,
"Nothing. Where were we?"
"The closing song..."
"The Call, duh. Encore of Shape of My Heart." How could they not see that. It was easy.
"Hey... yeah, that works." Howie agreed. AJ and Brian nodded. Kevin's eyebrows danced some more.
"Sometimes Nick, you surprise me." With a good idea, right Kev? Because I'm the stupid blonde kid, wow, I am a bitter one today. I have a right though. I mean, come on. So they're all older than me. I bet Justin doesn't have to deal with this. Plus, Justin's got Britney... damn, I'd like to be Justin for a day. What the hell am I thinking?
"Nick... c'mon..." Oh its over.
"Okay." I think I'll walk with Brian today. I haven't talked to him a while.
"So, you're comin' tonight, right?" What... okay, maybe this was a bad idea. Where am I going tonight? I want to stay home. I gave him a blank look. I can do that real well. Little do they know... "Remember?" he paused. Like I'm really going to remember when I probably didn't hear it in the first place. "The dinner... Leigh's parents..." Oh yeah. NOOOO, I DON'T WANT TO GOOOOOO.
"Sure, yeah, I remember. I'll be there. Of course." DAMMIT, NO, NO, NO. I want to sit at home and do nothing. Why can't I ever vegetate? I miss vegetating. I don't think I've done that in years.
"Okay, cool. I'll see you there." Out comes the cell phone, and in five, four, three, two, one- "Hey Leigh!" Yeah, saw that one coming too.
"Hey Nick," Salutations my good Alex, and how are you this fine afternoon?
"What up?"
"Don't forget about tonight." Do they all think I have to be reminded every five minutes or something? What is this??
"I know, Brian just told me. You don't all have to remind me, you know."
"How does Brian know? I thought it was just me and you..." Oh shit. I forgot. Damn it all to hell. Today was not my day.
"Oh yes... I was thinking about something else." That I have to do at the same time. SHEEEEET. "What time again?"
"9:30, and you can't be late, Nick. Promise me you won't be late. If you're late Amanda will kill me."
"Remind me again why I'm doing this..." Because I'm a moron.
"Because you love your bestest friend in the whole world and don't want him to die." Says who? At this point, his death would be the end of yet another problem. Hm... no, no killing AJ would be bad.
"Fine, I'll be there at 9:30." Dammit, what time was Brian's thing at. They're making me move. This is not cool. "Brian!" He slowed down to let me catch up, how nice. "What time is your thing at?"
"Um... hold on a second Leigh," he covered the reciever, "8:00,"
"I have to leave at nine," this may be a problem.
"Why???" Why did he need me there?
"Because I kinda, sorta, promised AJ that I'd do something with him at 9:30..." I need more confidence.
"Nick! C'mon, dude!" Did he not understand? He'd do the same damn thing to me.
"Look, I have to do it. Deal." That's it, I'm walking alone. Hmph. Stupid people. It is going to be a long day...
"Nick!" Crappit, now what did they want?? My spleen? Jesus,
"Whaaaaat?" I hate it when I sound like I'm whining.
"Fans." Oh... happy face on. And yet another round of Thank yous and pictures and autographs. I love it! Woo hoo. Ohhhh shnap here we go.... MY EARS ARE GOING TO EXPLODE! SHEEEET, I CAN'T HEAR A DAMN THING.
"NICK! OH MY GOD! NICK! I LOVE YOU!" I'm sure you do. Tell me that you'll deal with socks that smell like shit at 3 o'clock in the morning and maybe I'll take you home.
"Hey, what's your name?" And please, don't hyperventilate. That's always so awkward.
"M-m-m-m-meghan." Interesting pronunciation. But the name's so boring.
"What a beautiful name," Grin, sign. Kiss, done. Faint. And so it begins. Ahh... she's a cutie, "Hey!" The young'uns are cool 'cause they don't really know who you are,
"Hi. I'm Kari. I have candy." The simple things in life are often the most pleasing... how prophetic of me.
"That's great, can I have some?" Candy sounds good. I hope its chocolate. I want a Twix bar, that would be really great right now. Don't look at your mom! Just give me some candyyyyy!
"I... guess..." And... here it comes. An M&M, what the hell is that? Psh.
"Thank you, that was very nice of you." Hug, sign. Buh-bye.
"NICK! HOLY SHIT! NICK! GET YO' SWEET ASS OVER HERE!" Um, why? So you can pinch it and watch me turn red? No thank you. I think I'll go over to the twelve year olds.
"NICK! FRACK! KAOS! HO!!!!!" Ho? Excuse me? I'm curiously intrigued.
"What up?" Okay, somehow I don't think she expected me to respond. Maybe it was the whole wide eyed 'holy shit, he so didn't say that' look.
"Uh, well, you see, oh geez. Shtick, what I mean is. Hi, you want an autograph?" Pause. Realization and... "Shit. I said that backwards." I like funny fans. They're great.
"C'mon over." The element of surprise. So, so satisfying. "Joe, get 'er over." Joe's friggin huge. My God, he could bench... like, eight of me. But he does where that pink shirt a tad too often... it makes a guy wonder. He could be gay... but he's so huge. But the pink shirt.. and those nylon biker shorts... those I do not like. Maybe he has a boyfriend. AH! That would be weird.
"Where do you want her?" Huh? WOAH! Hello, butt.
"Joe!" Putting a fan over his shoulder was not exactly what I had in mind. What say you place her softly on the ground? "Put her down!"
"Oooooh." Joe's not the brightest of the bunch... I hate that phrase, I don't know why I use it.
"You have any friends with you?" Oh please don't get all teenie on me now, answer me dammit.
"Nah, let's go." Interesting how she grabbed my arm. Tomorrow on Backstreet.Net, I can see it now, Nick Carter steals fan, elopes, and has twins in the span of twenty-four hours. Riiight. Fantasy is one thing, spreading fantasy as rumors is quite another. She's probably like, ten. Hussle along, now. Hussle. That's such a weird word. Who came up with that? Maybe his name was Hussle, and he just wanted to feel loved. So he made up a word. I think I'd use Shnarfle. Yeah, thats probably the word I'd make up. Oh look, the van. A black van? How morbid. I think I'd take an orange one. That would be ghetto, but great. Wow, I can laugh in my head? Oh wait,
"You're still here?"
"Yeah... your body guard... Joe? Shoved me in before you." Ooooh, Okay, Joe definitely needs to take some tests.
"I'm sorry, were you supposed to stay there?" Not that its my fault or anything.
"I can chill at your hotel." Right, my hotel. Sweetie, we're not going to a hotel, we still have an interview and a photoshoot to do. And that's just the beginning. Dammit, there is a photoshoot today. Those suck!! AGH, and then I STILL don't get to go home. Thank you Brian and AJ. Stupids. I hate stupids. They're stupid. "Um... hello?"
"Oh, sorry. Um, I'm not going to a hotel. We've got stuff to do, planned for the rest of the day." I don't want to go! Crappit all to hell. Uh oh... I have to pee. I shouldn't have had that pepsi. Fuck. I have to go.
"It's k, I can take a hint." Nice grin. "You can drop me off here. Nice meeting you." AH! BLIND! "Sorry for blinding you, but I needed a picture." I bet she was grinning again. I couldn't really see it, but I knew she was.
"Oh my sight's not important. I'll deal." Maybe she wants one of both of us. What if she doesn't, though? I don't want to ask her and then get turned down like a dumbass. That would suck.
"Can I get one with you?" I knew it. I'm good. I should listen to my instincts sometimes.
"Sure, hey Joe, take our picture." But don't be weird about it. Please don't be weird about it.
"K, Nick." Thank you, Lord. "Let me just see this lighting..." Oh no. "Okay, its perfect." Whew. Close call. Arm around the chick... what was her name? Shit! I didn't ask! Oh crap, now she probably thinks I'm an asshole. This is not good. Let's add one more to the list of Nick Carter haters out there.
"Hey, what did you say your name was?"
"Rupa." Say what? Rupa, what the hell was a Rupa? "I'm 18." Bullshit, she was maybe 16. Eighteen, in her dreams. I'M BLIIIIIIIIIIIND.
"JOE! WARN US!" Dammit, I hate being blind. And I'm going piss in my fucking pants. AGH.
"Sorry, bro." I probably shouldn't shake my head. It wouldn't be professional. But I don't think this chick would care... there we go. So the pics were done, hey, I think I'll say something smart.
"So, didn't you say something about giving me an autograph?" Flirty? Too much maybe? Ah, I'm such a nerd. No, no, whew, there was the grin. Maybe that's the 'aww, you're so stupid grin' maybe I've been reading it wrong all along! AAAAAAHHHH! Women suck. Geez. Okay.
"Here you go, can you pull over here?" An envelope, she hands me an envelope? It's so great how the driver takes orders from her and not from me unless Kev tells him he can. "Bye! It was awesome meeting you both!"
"Um, later!"

That was weird. At least she didn't like, try to steal my underwear. That's so creepy. How can people want dirty underwear, its just gross. Blah.
"Okay, we're here." Since when? We moved already? What? That's it, I'm beyond help. There's nothing to be done for me.
"Ugh." Well, yes. That's about what I was going for. Oh, look... Howie's hair looks like a chick's. And I have to peeeeeeeee.
"Nicky!" God fuckin' dammit!!! MY NAME IS NICK, YOU ASSHOLE! AGH! I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD!! NOT TWELVE!
"Yeah?" Too bad I can't actually say that. Damn my insecurity.
"We're going to be late!" Yes, I'm aware. Sorry Howie, I had to be nice to a fan, God forbid.
"Sorry. Who's this interview for?"
"YM? Teen People maybe?" They're all the same, why I even bother to ask, I'll never know. What have we been up to? Do I have a girlfriend? What do you think about *N Sync? WHO CARES??!! Wow... this room's nice... and... HELLO! Damn! Who is she?! Mmmm, what I wouldn't give to do her... shit, she's coming over , she's probably telepathetic and she read my mind. Now she's going to smack me, this sucks, everything always goes wrong.
"Hi, I'm Christa," Here is comes... oh, whew, a handshake, and then, "I'm here with YM." Oh. The interviewer. Yeah, not touchin' that.
"Nice to meet you." Let's pretend I heard someone say Nick. "Yeah Bone?" No AJ, understand what I'm saying. Don't give me the stupid AJ!!!
"Hu-... Ooh, yeah, Nick, I wanted to know..." Thank you.
"Yo, where the hell is the bathroom? I'm going to fucking piss in my pants." Yeah, laugh it up skinny boy. I'll beat you down after my bladder explodes.
"It's" Gasp. "that" gasp again. "Way" falls. Ass. Time for that later, running to the bathroom.... unzip... and AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Shit that feels good. This is like, the best feeling in the world. Such a tension reliever. I swear. Whew, that was good. I should probably go back now... but I don't want to do an interview. I'm so tired. Eh, well... might as well. I love how these hallways are all the ugliest colors. Jesus, its like, let's be a little more tacky, shall we? Yeah, okay. Woah.. they started? Oh no, now I know how the article's gonna start, agh. "We started with four out of the five guys, guess where Nick was. The bathroom. The youngest of the quintuplet had to take a little "break"..." stupid magazines.
"Sorry about that," Great, now I have to sit next to Kevin. Agh. This sucks some major-
"So Nick," Aw shit. "We were talking about relationships." This Christa chick just didn't beat around the bush. Geez. I wonder how chicks do their eyeliner without like, poking their eyes out. I would. That's probably why guys don't wear eyeliner. Well... most guys. I'd look pretty stupid with that stuff on. Oh wait, didn't I wear that for the everybody video? I did, didn't I? "Well?" Huh? What was the question again? Uh oh, Kevin's giving me that look... he's going to lecture me again, crappit.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" That was nice enough, right? Maybe I just didn't understand the question.
"Sure, how are you doing in that field? Relationship-wise that is." I'm going insane because I haven't gotten any in like two months, thank you? Would you like to help me out here? Yeah, that'd be great. 'Cause I think I'm going to strangle someone if I don't get some soon. Not that I'm a nympho or anything...
"I don't have a girlfriend at the moment, so I'm still lookin'." Smirk. Eyein' the camera. Give lots of little girls false hope. How fun.
I guess she didn't find it amusing however, she gave me a 'riiiiiight, you're not funny' look. I don't care. Whatever, the fans love it. So there. Little Miss 'I have a stick up my ass'.
"That's nice. Are you a virgin?" Say WHAT?! Brian's laughing. He knew this was coming, what the hell? They're not usually so blatant. That's it, I'm not answering. I refuse to take part in such a vulgar interview.
"Um..." Damn it, brain, pay attention and make my mouth work right. Do I have to answer this? No, I'm not a virgin. Yes I am a virgin? What do I say??? Dammit Kevin, why aren't you helping me now?! For once I actually need your help and you leave me hanging, remind me not to make you my life line. "Do I really have to answer this? I mean, this is a joke, right?" Christa shook her head. Damn, can we say Ice Queen?
"I'm sorry, that didn't come out quite like I wanted it." She had a nice laugh though, I'll give her that much.
"Nick... virgin..." AJ was gasping again. He really needed to stop that. Shut up! How immature can you be? Geeeeeez. How unfair is this? Kevin's smiling?! Oh yeah, thats right. Let's everybody laugh at Nick. As usual. I hate being bitter. Oh shit... oh shit... Kevin's fly was unzipped!!!!! I'm gonna cry, this is great. Let's turn the humiliation to dad for once.
"Yo.. Rok..." I turned around. Brian had to see this. He grinned at me. I know what you're thinking, stop it now. If only my brain talked for me. "Check out Kev's pants..." Brian looked. Pure hilarity followed.
"KEVIN!!!!" Oh no, we've disturbed Mr. Richardson.
"What!?" Oops, he had been answering a question, oh well. All the better.
"Your fly's unzipped." Brian said that gleefully. What a great word. Now I'm in a good mood. Not that I'm happy from Kevin's misfortune, just 'cause its funny. Hahahaha. Kevin's turning red.... oh wait... make that purple... uh oh... this can't be good. DUCK!!!! OH, he misses, oh yeah, I'm good, I'm good. OW. Damn, didn't see him go again.
"Why'd you hit me??" I mean, I know I told Bri, but he doesn't know I told Bri.
"Because you always tell Brian." Oh. Oops. I'm too predictable I guess. Yes Kevin, please go on about how our music has changed. Blah blah blah. They're always the same. If I was the interviewer I'd ask like, what the person's most ingenious idea was or something. I'd be able to answer that one! Most definitely the shower prank... MOST definitely. If only I'd gotten a picture, if only. Wait, isn't that a Hanson song? Oh yeah, it is... where did they go? They like, come out, have alot of success, then go away... then they come out again, have alot of success... then go away. What's up with that? Weird... it'd be bad if we did that. Real bad. Then people would like forget us. Well, not our real fans. But stupid people.
"PAY ATTENTION!" AHHHHHHHHHHH.
"What?"
"Christa asked you a question." Whoopsies...
"I'm sorry, what?"
"What's the worst thing about being famous?" Oh no. This is not the question to ask me today. I will go off on you. No, I won't.
"Uh, well, I guess its that I have um this way..." crap, my words got messed up again, "Sorry, let me try that again," Laugh, cover it up, and, "The worst thing is probably never getting to see my family..." And not being able to vegetate. My mouth moves to fast for my head. Maybe I should get that checked... Nah... that would mean I'd have to go to a doctor. And we all know THAT wouldn't be cool. I'd get there and he'd diagnose me with like, brain fart disorder or something. Brain Farts, ha ha. I wonder if your brain can really fart. That'd be gross, ew. Woah, okay, everyone's standing up, I guess that means its over,
"Bye Nick, nice meeting you." Yeah right, you LIE!!!!
"You too, sorry I was so distracted." Distracted, ha.
"Its alright. Bye." Please, ignore me some more and turn to Kevin. Really, I don't mind. You're not my type anyways. So there. No, can't stick my tongue out at her, that would be mean.... and just slightly unprofessional. But who cares? No, no, Kev would have my hide. I wonder if I'll have to time to check my mail later... Aaron was supposed to send me that site. The funny one... he's been going on about that for weeks. I'm actually curious.

"Ow." Okay, people need to stop handling me like that. I've been annoyed. "What?"
"Let's go, you have to ride in my van," I have to ride with Brian? Well.. okay... but,
"Why?"
"Because... um... something happened with yours... just c'monnnn." Brian, whining? Riiight,
"Dude, you're 25, act it,"
"Like you're one to talk, Frack." Frack? He hasn't called me that in like, ever. What is going on with him? Tread softly and carry a big stick... ah yes Teddy, I will do so...
"Sure.. Frick.." Sometimes, I wish I could read other people's minds. Like, what the hell is Brian thinking right now, he's acting weird... whatever. Its probably something stupid. I wonder if I'd be able to make fun of him about it... hm... you work in evil ways, you know that, Brain? Hey! Who-
"We gotta go, buddy!" Okay, three feet of personal space, Joe. I think by holding my hand, you're violating my bubble. Dammit Joe, step away fromt he bubble. Alright! Getting into Brian's van!... Yeah, even my Brain can tell when I'm faking enthusiasm... damn man, I suck. Now, where's my van?...
"Okay, how come I'm riding in your van?"
"Uh, well, um..." Nervous much? "Okay! Okay! I can't lie any more!" I'm sorry... what? Okay... keepin' the Bacardi AWAY from Brian...
"Huh?" Oh, how eloquent of me.
"Okay, while you were in the bathroom... we, uh, had, um, Marcus..." He really is nervous... this can't be good... ah! Pay attention, Nick! "And he finally agreed, and so he took the stuff-" Eh?
"Stuff?"
"Why must you make me repeat?!" He cried. Brian cried. AHhahahahaha. "The stuff! The..." Okay, it won't help me if you trail off, Rock...
"Say that again?"
"Agh. Tyk poo." WHAT?! WHAT THE-?!
"What?!?!" Oh hell no, they did not.
"Yeah... and, uh, well, he took it, it was just a little, I swear! And he pressed it down on the seat in your van... and it SMELLED!"
"What the fu-hell?!" Damn Brian, I can't even curse properly. Hmph. "Why?" That was said sadly enough, yes, the guilt aspect... being the youngest isn't so bad all the time...
"We're sorry! Just, we thought it'd be funny, then I felt bad when that girl gave you a hard time during the interview." Oh that's great, so he felt sory for me. Gr.
"Whatever." Ha, I'm gonna make you feel bad. I'm laughin' on the inside, buddy, and you know what else? I'm gonna make Leigh feel sorry for me so she bitches at you, so there. And now I'm imagining that I'm sticking my tongue out at you.
"Uh, Nick? Nick...?" Oops... let's listen to Brian,
"Yeah?"
"You ticked?" Dammit, no. It's not fair to make me feel guilty for making you feel gilty. Oh well,
"Nah, not really." How sucky is this? See, had Kevin or AJ told me about the poo... I'd still be pissed, but noooooo, they choose Rok. This is not cool.
"How long is the photoshoot gonna last?" He's asking me like I'd know... Don't they know me well enough yet? Geez...
"Should I know?" don't give me that quizzacle look, Rok.
"Kevin yelled it during his lecture ealier today..." Right, 'cause I was LISTENING and all...
"Oh... I turn my ears off when Kevin starts the whole 'older and wiser' shpiel..." Oh no, now I've done it. I broke Brian, he'll laugh forever, never ceasing. What will Leighanne do to me...
"Teach me how to turn my ears off!!!" Breathing IS essential to life, you know that right?
"Uh, no... I can't..." ACK! OW! "Shit!" Please, driver, brake a little harder would ya. I think my spine is still intact. It's like they're trying to rid me of my remainging brain cells, I swear to God...
"You okay, Kaos?" What is with the nicknames today? AJ's the only one who still uses mine...
"Yeah, I'm fine..." I want some pizza. Real bad.
"We're here, boys." Gee, thanks, 'cause I didn't know that. Okay, good mood... c'mon, come to me good mood, please? Why are shoots always in a wearhouse? What is up with... is that... could it be... YES!!! IT IS!!! PIZZA!!!! Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy.
"Nick!" NOW what do they want? Can't he see I'm celebrating? "You're bouncing... stop." Oh. Oopsie-daisy. Oh Happy day!
"Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. I got.. sunshiiiiine, on a cloudy day.... when it's cold outsiiiiide-"
"You got the month of May!" Yeah, Brian!
"I guess, you'd say... what could make me feel this way..." Here it is, my big finish,
"Pizza!"
"Pizza!"
"Pizza?" Damn AJ.
"You ruined it, Butthead!" How juvenile... but hey, I'm in the mood to be CRAZY.
"Good thing I did, 'cause people are staring..."
"And your point it?" Oh wait, I know just the song for this! " Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about!" KISS! SCORE! I got AJ! Hey! He doesn't need to disgustedly wipe his cheek! what is that??
"DUDE! I've told you NEVER to kiss me! Under any circumstances! Blah! That's gross. Ew, sick, gyah." Haha.
"Haha."
"BOYS!" Aw, man... "MAKE UP!!" No, not that. ANYthing but that! The same thing, everytime... "NICK! THAT MEANS YOU!" Oh, because they have to tell me specially. Just HAVE to. "AND YES, YOU HAVE TO WEAR IT." Damn. So close. Now where did that pizza go... No, no, no, I did not say: take me to make up. I am not going through this... just give me some pizza... please? That's all I ask... no? Alright then, mwha ha ha ha ha ha... ow, I hate make up chairs. Blink.
"Nick, stop." I got a funny makeup artist, yay. Jerry... Blink. "Nick!" Blink, blink. "Stop!" Blink, blink, blink, blink. "Agh! I can't work like this!" Blinkityblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblink "Okay, that's it, Mark, I'm taking AJ! You finish him." Hm.... he's glaring at me now... it would the perfect time... Wink. "AGH!" Uh oh... time to run. "Come back here!" Ohshitohshitohshitohshit. Yes! Help!
"Howieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Oh crap, I can't stop, this isn't good,
"AHHHH!" I hear ya, Howie. Crash.
"Ow..." My bootie... not cool.
"Nick?"
"Yes, Howie?" What's he want?
"Get OFF ME!" Oh... heh... heh... heh...
"Sorry 'bout that, D..."
"AJ! Howie!" Score, not me! "Nick!" Damn. Dum, dum, dum dum, dum, dum dum, dum dum, dum dum. The march of death seems eerily fitting right about now... going BACK to that damn make up chair, why can't they be comfortable? I wish they were comfortable.
"Okay, Nick... if you try ANYthing, we WILL tell Kevin." Oh no, please, anything but that. Not Kevin. Ah. I'm so scared. Sarcasm is a wonderful thing.
"God forbid."
"Well, someone needs to take a happy pill." Say what? Um... okay, somebody's a druggie... I don't think we need to tell me to take drugs. I'm weird enough as it is. Not that being weird is a bad thing. I like being weird.. but I like to be in control when I'm being weird. Weird. That's actually a weird word. Not as weird as sassafrass however. Now that word... is just plain strange. Sassafrass. It is, however, fun to say. "Alright, Nick, you're done." Wow, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be... but then... it never is. You'd think I'd learn... but no, then it just wouldn't be the same. Ahhh, picture time. Put my hand this way, look that way, no, not that way, that way. Grin... sexy grin... pout... serious... far away look... hands behind head... and ta daaaaa, done. Oh wait. Group shots.
"GUYS!!! BRIAN! HURRY UPPPPP." I do want SOME rest before I have to go Rok's thing.
"Nick, stop whining." Don't you start with me AJ.
"I'm not whining."
"Yes you are." You disgusting pig, I am not. Bastard.
"Amnotamnotamnotamnotamnot." Dammit, why can't I talk right.
"Guys, c'mon, stand... no... yeah... stand... right there. LIGHTING! Now act natural." Thank you, because you know its possible under all these lights and with fifty people staring at us.
"Guys, I got a joke." Oh no, not a joke, Brian, please. "Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks." Huh? I don't get it. But everyone else is laughing. No I refuse, so what if its awkward? I don't get it.
"Okay, three, two-" I GET IT, "one"
"I GET IT!!!!" Oops, I think I messed up the picture.
"GYAH!" Yeah, I did.
"Whoopsies..."
"Whoopsies... the boy says... whoopsies." I think Andre's going to have a heart attack someday. And it'll probably be my fault. Then they'll all hate me. And want me to die. Okay, probably not. Welcome to the world of the overactive imagination, folks. Well, just, what? Thirty more minutes? Whew, thank goodness. Turnin' the brain OFF for thirty minutes... it's better when I don't think during photo shoots, for some reason, people think those come out looking sexy...

Finally. Work is over, now to... damn... get ready for dinner with Brian and Leighanne and her parents. WHY am I supposed to go?? This is going to be unbelievably awkward. It's like two old married people, two young married people, and Nick. Great. At least its only for an hour. I wonder where AJ's taking me...
"AJ!"
"Whaaaaaaat?" Now who's whining?
"Where are you taking me tonight?"
"No where, the bea-u-tiful Cynd-a is taking you." Who? Since when?
"What are you talking about? AJ, if this is stupid you're going to be beaten."
"We're just going to a club, don't worry about it." Right, last time he told me that, some guy thought I was his lover from a past life. Just don't worry about it, Nick, everything will be fine. Right, if by fine he means I'm going to end up arrested. I still want that damn pizza.
"Whatever. Can I go to the hotel now?"
"I don't care. As long as you're in my room by 9:30, everything is fine." I DON'T NEED THIS PRESSURE!
"Fine." I'm leaving. This is it. Maybe I can fake sick... hm... possibly... No, then Kevin would take away my nintendo because I'll 'strain my eyes'. Crappit, this sucks. Where's Brian, I want to leave. But noooo, I had to come in his van. Screw this, I'm leaving. "Hey, Josh!"
"Yeah Nick?"
"C'mon, we're gonna go back to the hotel... Joe!"
"Comin' buddy." Maybe if I just make it look like I've got the authority to do this, they won't question me for once.
"Um, alright..." Josh's uncertain... but I think he's gonna do it! SCORE! I have found the secret, and I will milk it for all its worth.. mwha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, over it.
"Let's go." Ahhhh... finally... back to rest and relaxation for... a whole... twenty minutes. Damn. Oh no... oh no..
"Nick, do you want to sign autographs? And pictures?" Dammit, dammit, dammit.
"Yeah, I guess." SHEEEEET. This is not fair. I want to just sit. That's all I want to do. I don't even want to think. Well, there aren't that many people...
"Hi, ohmygoshohmygosh, Nick, oooohmygosh." Say what?
"Hey... what's your name?" FLASH, ow.
"Khamendiya." AGH, what?! How do you SPELL that? Is that even a real name?
"I'm sorry, can you help me spell that?" And define it? Hey, she's laughing at me, that ho.
"My nickname's Kammie." Muuuuuuuuuuch better.
"To Kammie, with Love, Nick. There you go, thanks!" Yeah, for making me feel stoo-pid.
"Thank you! Wait, wait! I have something for you!" Yayee, a present, I loveeee presents. "Here, open it!" Well... I probably should be cautious, but, what the hell, why not? Tearin' open the paper, tearin' open the paper... and wow...
"Woah... thanks, I'll use this tonight!" A razor, how... nice... interesting. I actually need one too. How do they KNOW this stuff? Wait, is she trying to tell me something...? She doesn't like the goatee??? I like the goatee! So what, just one fan. Everyone else likes it, right?? Maybe I should ask... no! Why should I ask?! It's my damn face. Hmph.
"Hey Nick! Over here!" Yes yes yes, I'm coming, don't get your underwear in a ruffle. Underwear, ha ha.
"Hey, what's up?" She's pretty... hm... no. I do NOT date fans. Never. Tried it once, and look where it got me. I have one less fan now.
"Hey! Can you please oh please oh please sign this and take a picture with me???"
"Sure. No problem." Oh wait, her mom's here too, she can't be too old. Damn. Not that I was gonna go for it anyways, 'cause I mean, yeah... okay, woah! Hello! Hand on the butt, what is this?! Let's jump away now, "Hey now..."
"Sorry, I couldn't help it, it was a dare!" Sure it was.... right.... okay...
"Uh huh..." Whatever, "I gotta go now, it was nice meeting you...?"
"Sara,"
"Sara, it was nice meeting you."
"You too! Oh yeah, I love your little goatee thing, makes you look MUCH older!" Score. Oh yeah, oh yeah. I would do the happy dance... but... somehow, I don't want pictures of that to get around. Okay, so now what time is it... 7:30?!?!?! NOOOOOOO. Not 7:30 already, sigh. This is not cool. Now I have to go up and get ready. Crappit. I won't even have time to just sit. Eh well... where's my key... I know I put it in my wallet... visa.. no... american express... no... key card... YES!
Now, what to wear... hm... classy blue tie.... or tie with the monkeys... classy blue tie... or tie with the monkeys... Tie with the monkeys, ooooooh yeah. Tie with the monkeys, plus my wonderful orange dress shirt... hm... and... black slacks? Yes, black slacks sound good. And for the hair... spike it? Not spike it? Spike it? Not spike it? Eh, I'll spike it. I look goooooood. Sexy even. Dead sexy. Oh yeah. Hit me, baby one more time. Agh, why is my cell phone ringing?
"Hello?"
"Hi is Nick there?"
"Um... this is he..."
"OH MY GOD, NICK, I LOVE YOU, THIS IS KATIE FROM NORTH DAKOTA, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE-" Click. Who lives in North Dakota? Their population is like, one. And that's that crazy girl I just hung up on. I don't mean to be mean... but... it freaks me out when people call my CELL phone. PERSONAL. If I don't know you, wait till I give you my number to call me. Otherwise, rest assured, I will hang up on you. Hmph, okay, NOW why is my cell phone ringing?
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?"
"Why aren't you here yet???!" Uh oh, this can't be good,
"Um, what time is it...?"
"It's 8:15!"
"Shit, crap, sorry dude, I'll be RIGHT there."
"You are SO lucky Leigh's running late." Yeah yeah yeah, I was expecting that.
"Okay, I'll see you in like two minutes." Click yet again. Okay, now all I have to do is put on my shoes and-- EWWWWW, what the hell?! Who the- shaving cream?! Oh no...
Crappit, crappit, crappit, crappit. Brian's definitely going to have my hide for this one. But it wasn't my fault... I am going to find out who did this... and... they will go DOWN. Revenge is a bitch, my friends, a bitch. Okay... so I have two choices, either I can wear sneakers and look stupid (and smell like a ton of shaving cream), or I can wear these and be uncomfortable.. and smell like a ton of shaving cream... hm... yes I know what I'll do.